Call Her Blessed

How to Crochet a Dishcloth

2026-03-27T12:35:00.005-06:00

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Back by popular demand: my favorite pattern for crocheting homemade dish/wash cloths!

"Natural fibers" are all the rage these days - I use a 100% cotton thread when sewing these useful (and highly gift-able!) cloths. The thread I use can be found on Amazon here: Cotton yarn

This pattern has excellent texture, a gap-free pattern, and shrinks fairly uniformly so the cloth tends to keep it's shape after many washes.

Here's the pattern:

Chain 34 loosely

Row 1: Dc in fourth ch from hook and in each ch across.

Row 2: Ch 1, turn; sc in first dc, ch 2, skip next dc, sc in sp before next dc, ch 2, ** skip next 2 dc, sc in sp before next dc, ch 2; repeat from ** across to last 2 st, sc in top of beginning ch.

Row 3: Ch 3, turn; dc in first ch-2 sp, 2 dc in each ch-2 sp across to last ch-2 sp, dc in last ch-2 sp, dc in last sc.

Repeat rows 2 and 3 until piece is approximately square.

You can leave it as is, or you can sew a border for a more finished look. I do a simple dc border all the way around the edges, taking care to evenly space the stitches to avoid ruffling or puckering. Sew 3 stitches in each corner to make the turn. If the piece "cups" after making the turn, rip back to the corner and add a corner stitch. I frequently have to do 4 stitches in the corner.

Happy sewing!

Believe is a VERB!

2026-03-27T12:09:00.005-06:00

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you shall go, I will counsel you with My eye upon you” Ps 32.8

Do we believe God? Do we believe Him enough to act like we believe Him?

He promises to instruct us, teach us, and counsel us.

Do we believe that enough to slow down, quiet our minds, and LISTEN?

And when we hear His guidance, do we believe enough to obey no matter what? When it seems contrary, confusing, or random…do we obey based on His goodness and faithfulness instead of constantly running it through our human filter and rejecting it if it “doesn’t make sense”?

He is good
He is kind and gentle
His thoughts are different than ours…His perspective is infinitely higher and wiser

Today’s challenge….believe Him and act like it!

"Zero Compromise"

2026-03-17T17:36:00.007-06:00

(Image created with AI...but the expression is not quite right...it should be much more stern)

I just had a strange experience during worship, and I sense that it's something I'm meant to share.

It was strange because I often "see/sense" Jesus during worship. Sometimes He's standing, sometimes sitting. Sometimes He even dances or comes so near that I can almost feel His breath. He's sometimes exuding joy or peace...sometimes just a quiet expression of enjoyment on His face.

But today, He was serious. So stern and serious that my little girl self rose up for a second and thought He was angry with me, and I felt myself shrinking away from Him.

"Are you mad at me?", I asked sheepishly.

As He looked at me, His eyes softened a bit and I was shocked to the point of laughter to hear the lyrics "sweet child of mine" (Guns and Roses?!!!) No, He wasn't angry with me. He is tender toward me.

So I asked some more about what was happening since it was so unusual.

As I looked, it was as if His eyes were laser focused on something (but I couldn't see what He was looking at). There was something he was intensely focused on. He leaned forward in His seat and said,

"This is a time to be very careful about avoiding deception. Know Me. Know My voice. Stay close. Many people don't know who I really am." (I could feel a grief on that last part)

And then, He called to mind a recent conversation I had with one of my children about college life. I encouraged my child to explore and have fun, to try new things, to really stretch and grow. "But", I said, "food, and friends, and clothes, and hairstyles are all fun...but it's important that you hold fast to the truth of Jesus. You must allow for zero compromise in the things of God."

"ZERO COMPROMISE" rang like a bell in my ear.

And then, there was grief again, "So many don't know who I really am".

There was one final shift. He called to my memory a very vivid dream I had about 3 1/2 years ago. In the dream, I looked out a window and I saw God the Father strolling casually (sort of casually pacing) in my back yard, and every now and then He'd lift His arm and look at the watch on His wrist...all while continuing to casually stroll. I asked Jesus what was happening, and He replied, "He's the Keeper of time". I understood that not even Jesus really knew the "time"...only the Keeper of time.

But this time, as I looked, the Father stopped dead in His tracks and was inspecting His watch VERY intently. It was almost like he was counting the seconds. There was no causal stroll, no casual glance. He was watching as if every single little millisecond counts.

As Jesus shared all of this with me, I had the sense that He was entrusting something to my care and that I should not delay in acting.

My takeaways:
1. I was supposed to share this
2. It's a uniquely intense time in the spirit
3. The church must allow ZERO compromise in the things of God - this is not a time to entertain or worry about numbers. The Gospel of Jesus. The person of Jesus. Worship in Spirit and truth. People must know the truth of who Jesus is... to their salvation and His glory.
4. We must be on guard agains deception
5. God is the Keeper of time - we don't have to worry about it...but we should watch and be wise about discerning the times. Milliseconds matter.

Stay close to His heart, brothers and sisters. Be in your Bible every single day. Worship in spirit and truth. Get into that secret place with Him like your life depends on it. Share the gospel and love people well...with zero compromise!

What's In Your Hand?

2026-02-27T08:32:00.006-07:00

This single sentence stopped me cold today as I read.

“What is that in your hand?” Exodus4:2

There Moses was, minding his own business and caring for the flock. Just a guy, his staff, and a flock of sheep.

Suddenly, God Himself shows up and calls Moses to do something out of the ordinary.

Moses doubts himself and his ability to do what God’s asking. God replies by asking “what’s in your hand?”

I can imagine Moses’s indifferent shrug as he holds out the ordinary staff that he’s carried every day for years.

God takes that simple thing and adds His miraculous to it.

How often do we sense that God is asking something of us, and we reply with “sure as soon as you put something amazing on me, I’ll get right to work”

We wait for everything to look perfect. We wait for the perfect set up. We wait for our skills and our tools to look more incredible than anything anyone else has.

This is how we will know that we are gifted, right?… When all the earthly and human signs point toward guaranteed greatness.

But that’s not how it worked for Moses. God did not give him a special robe. He did not give him a new and upgraded embellished staff. He did not put Moses in a place of authority in Egypt.

By all outward signs, it did not look like a good opportunity for Moses to be successful.

He was still just a guy holding that ordinary staff.

Have you been waiting?

Have you been waiting for the perfect set up? The perfect opportunity? For all circumstances to be aligned perfectly for your best chance at success?

Have you been waiting for your ordinary life and skills to look and feel extraordinary before you take your next step?

I don’t think that’s the way it’s supposed to work. Walking by faith is the opposite of walking by sight.

We are called to step out and do what God asks us to do well before it seems like a good idea by human standards.

So friend, what is in your hand today?

I encourage you to use the ordinary things of your life in the way that God is asking you to, and to count on Him to add His miraculous power to it for His Glory.

Say “yes”… Knowing full well that you are 100% dependent on God showing up

Say “yes“ to that impossible looking opportunity

Take a step out onto the water

Count on God to drop mana from the sky

Shout at the walls and expect them to fall

Go into battle frighteningly outnumbered

Expect God to fulfill every single promise He’s made

When we see God as faithful and generous, He sees us as full of faith and He is honored

All things…ALL… are possible with Him

Time to Cut the Cord

2026-02-17T10:55:00.002-07:00

During my time with the the Lord today, I heard clearly , “IT’S TIME TO CUT THE CORD” When a baby is born, they are still attached to their life in the womb via the umbilical cord. There comes a time that the cord stops pulsing with blood and it turns white. It’s value and use is finished. And then the cord is cut and the child is entirely free of its pre-birth life. All that’s left is the healing where the cord once was…and growth. As Christians, we are born again, but we can still be “attached” to our old way of living. Old ways of being, old ways of relationship, old ways of protection, old ways of provision. We hesitate to “cut the cord“ because for a little while at least, it seems that the cord is still pulsing with valuable and important resources. But there comes a time when it’s not only healthy and safe, but necessary… to cut the cord once and for all. This is certainly a personal word for me right now, and maybe it is for you too. Maybe you’re sensing a change of season for your life, and it’s feeling a little uncertain and scary to cut free of the old one. I want to lovingly and gently encourage you to spend time with the Lord and ask him if there’s anything that needs to be cut free so that you can move into the new. “Cutting” might sound scary or painful, but he is precise and utterly gentle. You can trust yourself to him

I also believe that this is a word for the broader church, which is also entering into a new season of life. The old ways we are accustomed to and comfortable with will not only not serve us any longer, but they will become a hindrance to the newness that the Lord is calling us into. Will we allow Jesus to be Lord of his church even if it makes us a little uncomfortable sometimes? Will we allow him to prune and shape the church according to his pleasures instead of according to our comfort and preferences? Will we surrender to his plan, or will we hold tight to our beloved traditions and programs? Cut the cord, Lord. Cut me free of anything that isn’t of you. Cut away any old thing that you do not want me to depend on any longer. Cut away my good to make room for your great.

12 Simple Steps to Render and Store Tallow

2026-01-16T13:39:00.000-07:00

If you're a crunchy girl, you know that tallow is having a moment lately.

Personally, I use tallow to create skincare products (skin and lip balms, soap, etc) to replace toxic chemical laden products from the store. My friends and I love it :-)

But, boy, I've learned the hard way how NOT to render and store tallow! I've seen burning, crumbling, and molding. It's a serious disappointment to spend time and money to render and store tallow...only to have to throw it in the trash!

I'm sharing my simple process here in the hopes that it will help someone avoid my mistakes. Let's jump in.

My process:

1. Source your tallow. It's as simple as calling a local butcher. You want to ask for "Leaf fat from around the kidney". Tallow is NOT "trimmings", or fat you'd cut from a roast or steak. Tallow is a solid white (or cream) color chunk of fat from a specific location in the cow. Some butchers refer to it as suet. Just make sure to clarify exactly what you're looking for. If they're willing to grind or chop it for you, that will make your life MUCH easier!

2. Trim (if you want). Word of warning...when you get tallow from the butcher (especially if it's not ground or chopped), it's not much to look at. You might see connective tissue or meat attached to it. That's normal. You can simply trim that stuff off and toss it. Personally, I do not trim unless there's a huge amount of meat. I use the "waste" product from rendered tallow and I turn it into suet cakes for the bird feeders.

3. Melt with water (wet render). Notice I said MELT, not cook! Using too high a temp is a great way to produce really smelly tallow. You want to melt on a low temp, not cook it. I place the tallow in a roaster or crock pot, and fill the vessel about 1/2 way up with water after adding the tallow. I also like to add a bit of salt to help draw out any water soluble impurities/odors. I cook at about 200 degrees F overnight.

Salt is not required, and there's lots of debate about it. A quick google research will give you the info you need to decide if you want to use salt.

To salt or not? I use salt because removing as much of the odor as possible is important to me. The first time I rendered, I didn't use salt...the end product smelled so beefy that I was afraid the neighborhood dogs would attack me if I left the house haha! Totally your call. If you have lots of great reasons to NOT salt, that's just fine. I'm not here to debate...just to share what's worked for me :-)

4. De-Chunk. This is an official term ;-) This is just for those of you who do NOT have ground or fine-chopped tallow like me. Even after it's fully melted, some of the fat will be bound up in the rest of the tissues - I don't want to let it go to waste! You basically want to crush as many chunks as possible to release the fat. I've used in immersion blender, a food processor, and a good old fashioned potato masher. You can also dump it in a fine mesh strainer and press it against the mesh with a spoon/spatula to release the fat (my favorite method).

5. Strain. Now that your tallow has been melted and de-chunked, it's time to pour the whole water and tallow (and salt) mixture into a big bowl. Let the mixture cool to a temp that is still warm enough to be melty, but cool enough to be comfortable to touch. Place a big pasta strainer in a big mixing bowl, and drape some cheesecloth over the strainer. Pour the mixture into the cheesecloth. Twist and squeeze the cheesecloth to release as much fat as you can.

Discard the stuff caught by the cheesecloth if you'd like (in the trash, NOT down the drain). Or, you can keep it and let it cool in a small baking dish. Once cooled, pop it out, and roll it in birdseed. The birds LOVE it!

6. Refrigerate overnight or until a hard "puck" of tallow forms at the top, and the water puddles at the bottom.

7. Remove the fat layer from the bowl, and discard the water at the bottom. You'll see some impurities on the surface of the tallow (especially on the bottom). Use a knife or bench scraper to scrape it away and discard. It's ok for some of the impurities to be stuck in the tallow - it'll be filtered out with more rendering and straining.

8. Repeat steps 3,5, & 6 until the water in the bottom of the bowl is mostly clear and odor-free. At this point, you have removed most of the impurities from the tallow. It should have a generally uniform color and very faint odor if any.

**Change your cooling basin at this point - instead of a big deep mixing bowl, use several smaller shallow containers. I use plastic containers with lids to allow me to stack them in the fridge.

(note the yellow color of this nearly finished tallow - this is normal! Finished color will vary from pure white to cream or yellow depending on the animal's diet)

**The reason for switching to shallow containers, it to allow any remaining impurities and/or salt to make it's way out of the fat and into the water. Thinner layers of fat will be less likely to have pockets of stuff you don't want...they can get trapped in the larger, thicker pucks of fat.

9. Remove the salt. If you used salt in your rendering process, it's important to do a couple more wet renders WITHOUT the salt. The water will find any salt that's trapped, and will bind to it. As you do wet renders without salt, you'll notice the water in the bowl under the puck will become less and less cloudy....that cloudiness is the salt being pulled off. I wet render as many times as it takes for the water to be clear.

10. Melt without water (dry render). And now it's time to remove any remaining water from your tallow. This part is CRUCIAL for long term storage (either on a shelf, in a fridge/freezer, or in a product) because trapped water will cause mold. Melt the tallow down without adding any water or salt. Once it's fully melted, pour no more than 1.5 inches deep in your shallow containers.

11. Refrigerate until solid. Remove the thin pucks of tallow from the containers, and dry thoroughly with paper towel. At this point, the tallow should be very firm. If you break it or cut it, it should have a "snap" to it.

12. Store in a way that will preserve it well. This is where I've lost so much good tallow! Do NOT store in a mason jar. All it takes is a single drop of water to find it's way into that closed jar, and mold takes hold.

How I store it: I take my dried pucks and wrap them in parchment paper. Then place several wrapped pucks in a zipper bag along with a piece of paper towel (which will grab any moisture). The whole bag goes into a freezer for long term storage. Not only does the freezer pull any moisture out, but it also prevents spoilage.

Congrats! You did it! You now have pure tallow to use in cooking or in skincare products. Pro tip: I typically keep some set aside in my fridge for popping my popcorn ;-)

Enjoy!

If Something Can Steal Your Joy (PART 2)

2025-12-30T13:07:00.001-07:00

Typically, all I need to do to get the incessant thoughts running through my mind to stop is to write it out. That's what I did yesterday...yet...here we are haha!

I shared yesterday about my journey the last 18 months and how it became clear to me that the Lord had been scrubbing my life and heart clean of idols. I didn't really think about those things as idols until I heard the quote "If something can steal your joy, it's become an idol".

SO many things...good things, even!...had become "idols" based on that quote's reasoning. My joy was unhealthily rooted in things other than the Lord, which left me tossing from joy to despair based on life's circumstances.

But in my sharing the way I did yesterday, did I leave people feeling dread, fear, or worse...did I leave people thinking that God is cruel or unfeeling? I want to clear that up right this minute!

The heart of God is kind, gentle, and tender. AND He's fierce in His love and devotion to His children. The Bible even describes Him as a jealous God. (Exodus 20:4-5) In fact, this section of scripture is speaking specifically about idol worship!

We have a confused way of thinking of jealousy. In our culture, we often confuse holy jealousy with mere coveting. God is not wringing His hands wishing He had something someone else has (coveting). "Jealousy" in this passage refers to a passionate zeal. Uncompromising. Unwilling to share what belongs to Him.

Bottom line - He takes His relationship with us VERY seriously. He is in covenant with His people. It's an emotional and legal agreement that He sealed with His own blood - that's how serious it is to Him!

"Jealousy" as we often use the word gives the impression of pettiness or silliness. There is nothing petty or silly about this though.

Instead, this is like a husband's protective and passionate heart for his precious bride. Do we criticize a man for loving his wife and not wanting her affections to be for another? Of course not! Devotion and single-mindedness to a spouse is beautiful and holy. In fact, earthy marriage is meant to be a reflection of God and His bride, the Church (Ephesians 5:32).

THAT is the kind of jealousy we're talking about here.

So did "God hurt me" because of the idolatry in my life?

I endured some pain, yes. But it was MY actions that caused the pain, not God's.

An illustration: Think of a rough piece of wood. A child wants to know how it feels, so they reach out their hand to feel it's texture. Their loving parent says, "Watch out! That will leave you with slivers of wood in your hand!"...yet the curious child runs their hand along the wood anyway.

Big surprise...a hand full of slivers is the result.

The loving parent carefully and gently pulls the slivers out to stop the pain and to avoid infection. But the process of pulling them is painful in itself!

So...is the parent to blame here? Did the parent cause the suffering? The parent did what was necessary to protect the long term health of the child, and it was a painful process. But the root cause of the overall suffering was the child being out of order (disobedient).

It's similar in my idolatry lesson...

The process for removing the "slivers" was necessary for my long term overall health, and most importantly, for my relationship with the Lord. And the process stung a bit.

But the reason the slivers were there were all on me. Not that I willfully disobeyed...I was just way too "self" focused....what made sense to me? What was logical? What made the human financial math work? What were other humans saying?

The Kingdom of God is not logic and mathematical and based on man's thoughts or words.

Often times, the Kingdom seems backwards and upside down. This makes me think of the scripture about "seeing in a mirror dimly" (1 Corinthians 13:12). Maybe it's ACTUALLY and LITERALLY like we're looking in a dim mirror...maybe that wasn't a figure of speech at all! Maybe the TRUTH is literally backwards from what I'm seeing, just like my reflection in a mirror is backward from what others see when they see me "face to face" (1 Cor 13:12 again).

So we're asked to walk by faith, not by sight (2 Cor 5:7)

We sometimes think of living by faith as difficult because (by definition) we can't SEE what's going on, and we're taught early that "seeing is believing". But could it be that this is a very practical way of instructing us since everything "by sight" is actually backwards?

Walking by sight will lead us the wrong way nearly every single time. We are instructed to follow the leading of the Lord by faith...to live in a way where we know and trust Him so much, that we simply do and go whatever and wherever He leads. (Proverbs 16:9)

This is the process of "Sanctification" (1 Thes 5:23, John 17:17). I was saved when I surrendered to the Lordship of Jesus for my life...but I've been a work in progress ever since. We're called to grow to be more like Jesus every day (sanctification)...and sometimes the process means that some deeply rooted stuff needs to be pulled, pruned, and unlearned. The more deeply attached I am to the unhealthy stuff, the more it stings to have it pruned.

This is what death to self looks like. (John 12:24)

This is what picking up a cross and dying for God's higher purpose looks like. (Luke 9:23)

And I'm all in.

I'm all in because the Lord has nurtured me into a more patient, trusting, peaceful, and joyful woman after having some of the junk pruned. Not despite the process...BECAUSE of the process. He is gentle and kind and patient.

And I'm all in because I love Him with my whole heart.

I want Him to find in me a devoted, committed, passionately in love bride. I want Him to be honored by my trust in Him. I want my life to reflect His goodness so that others who He loves will trust Him too. I want His Kingdom to grow and for His precious blood to receive all that was purchased on that cross.

Rest easy, friends. We don't have to fear our good Father. Even in the challenging seasons, He is there and He is taking good care of us.

If Something Can Steal Your Joy...

2025-12-29T13:22:00.003-07:00

This quote from yesterday's sermon was like a gut-punch that just keeps sticking with me: "If something can steal your joy, it's become an idol in your life".

I literally gasped when he spoke the words.

All at once, I had a crystal clear picture of what the Lord's been doing in my life this past year.

He's been stripping me of idols!

Scenes from the last 18 months play through my mind like a movie:

... a business I'd built for 14 years: just **poof** gone

... that business was our family's bread and butter, and we'd just signed on a new house

... my health went bonkers - a torn meniscus in each knee, hormones going crazy, and kidney stones so big they had to be surgically removed. Weariness, exhaustion, and so so SO much physical pain.

... a couple relationships that I was heavily invested in...my heart was WAY out there trusting some people...and it came crashing down in hurt and disappointment

... plans and promises that seemed like a sure thing - stuff I was looking forward to, dreaming about, and feeling wildly excited about...wound up being a dead end that left me feeling directionless, purposeless, and discarded..."demoted" is a word I kept thinking about in that tough season of disappointment

I suffered with times of fear and grief

But I also felt sincere and abiding joy. My husband even commented that the "Daiquiri from a few years ago would never have walked through the last 18 months the way you did". This is only because the Lord Himself walked me through it

Along the way, the Lord was faithful to be whispering in my ear and meeting with me in worship.

"Forgive", He whispered

I chose to be relentless about forgiveness because, well, He said so...and also because I know how dangerous it can be when forgiveness turns into bitterness. Even so, a root of bitterness took hold... So the Lord delivered me from it like only He can.

"Trust in Me instead of physicians", He instructed
(2 Chronicles 16:12)

So I learned to speak His Word over the "diagnosis" and "prognosis" from the doctor. As I vocalized the promise of healing for my body roughly 100 times a day, the finished work of the Cross was applied to my throbbing knees, and I was healed.

My kidneys...well that was a lesson learned the hard way for me. I listened to the doctor and believed every word she said about the pain I was in for if I didn't have surgery. I got scared, and booked the surgery immediately.

As I writhed in pain the night of surgery, no pain medicine seemed to touch the searing pain in my body.

I cried out to Him, "Where are you?! Please help!"

"Who said you needed surgery?" was His reply

All at once, I realized I'd never even asked Him about surgery for my kidneys! I trusted Him for my knees, saw Him work a miracle, and then just jumped right back to trusting the doctor!

I'm not against medical intervention - God gives us doctors to help us. But HE is the GREAT PHYSICIAN...He is the One who is our "primary provider". And with my kidneys, I didn't so much as get His opinion.

I apologized, and His grace and mercy and peace flooded me. Lesson learned!

"Remember Who I Am", He whispered as I received the heart-pounding news that my business was just dissolved.

The budgetary math was absolutely not adding up. The payments FAR outweigh(ed) the income.

Panic threatened to overtake me - as my thoughts spiraled, He met me there again and said more loudly, "Remember Who I Am".

As I grieved and cried one day, I asked the Lord what was happening.

"Pruning", He replied

"Can I be so bold as to ask what exactly you're pruning?", I asked

"I'm pruning you of Self-Sufficiency", He whispered

And oh, how those pruning shears stung!

The bottom line...I am not provider or planner in my life. He is.

He is the keeper of time, resources, and keys to the doors. Not me.

As a "strong and independent" business woman, I was relying on my own wits. My own wisdom. My own "make it happen" abilities.

People
Plans
Promises (from humans)
Resources
Health

These are some of the areas of my life I was finding joy in...and when they left, broke, changed, and disappointed...my joy was affected.

The way of the world teaches us that all these things are fine and good....important, even.

And when they're rooted in Christ, the ARE good.

But when they're so important to me that they have the power of joy and/or despair over me...that's a signal that they've taken on a life of their own.

It's a signal that I've placed those things on the throne in my life that is reserved ONLY for the King.

"If something can steal your joy, it's become an idol". May it never be so again!

Thank you, Lord...for clearing the throne room of my heart of anything I'd valued or trusted above you. Thank you for your gentle and swift hand in the pruning and shaping...and for being so near to hold and carry me through the painful parts. Thank you for the precious people in my life. Thank you for the plans you have for me. Thank you for the way you take such beautiful and supernatural care of me. Thank you for YOUR promises. Let your ways be obvious in my life...to your glory and honor forever!

Contentment

2025-10-13T10:42:00.006-06:00

If I were able to instantly translate one major life lesson to my children so they could just "know" it instead of having to learn it...it might be the lesson of being content.

To be truly peacefully content in this day and age is no small feat.

I suppose this day and age is really no different than any other - there has always been a human drive to grow and innovate...a drive for "more" and "better". It's a good thing if we manage that urge instead of letting it manage us.

But oh, the longing for the next thing...the looking ahead to the point of missing what's right in front of me...there's no mystery why the Lord calls us to a heart posture of contentedness.

Truly, without contentment, I live my life in a way where I miss so much of the goodness right in front of me as I wish my life away for some imagined future. Can you relate?

There really is "Great Gain" to be found in Godliness + Contentment. My own life is a series of reminders of this truth.

It seems that every single major transition in my life was released by God ONLY after I'd settled into a truly content state of mind, body, and spirit.

It's sort of like swimming (bear with me). I can swim and strive and kick and PUSH against the current and waves...or I can just flip on my back and breathe.

I admit, much of my life has been spent "swimming"/striving...only to be left exhausted, weary, and disappointed...feeling like a failure and a disappointment...feeling like maybe God Himself had abandoned me.

It's not that He ever abandoned me...it's just that I didn't leave room for Him in all the "ME" I was focused on: My plan, My goal, My dream, My effort, My work, My earning MY LIFE.

In His goodness, He gives me the freedom and choice to go ahead and do "MY" thing.

I'm reminded of the innumerable times one of my children would demand to "do it myself"...so I would step back and let them give it a go. In my wisdom, I could see clearly that they were headed toward frustration, but it was something they had to learn. Eventually, their little shoulders would slump a little in defeat, and they'd turn their sweet face toward me and sheepishly ask for my help.

They were met each time with my joy and love and eager willingness to help them. We would do it together...as designed.

Isn't is the same with us and our Father? Now that I'm in my 50's, I might FINALLY be letting go of my stubborn need to "do it myself". I imagine that's a welcome relief to God!

As designed...we are meant to "do it together"

I find myself in a strange waiting place recently.

I'm not sure where I'm going. I'm not sure how to prepare. It feels a little bit like the work I'm engaged in is...silly and pointless.

The Lord recently whispered a reminder in my ear of another time I felt this way.

We were expecting our 3rd child, and we were busting at the seams in our tiny little house. So we decided it was time to move. We contacted a realtor and looked and looked and looked at houses. We made offers on several of them. We narrowed down school districts and floor plans. We KNEW what we wanted....but absolutely nothing would work out.

Finally, as the time to deliver our sweet baby drew nearer, we decided to abandon the search. Clearly, it was not meant to be, and we were exhausted and frustrated.

Instead, we decided to spruce up our tiny little house and make the best of it. Instead of using money to buy a new house, we took that money and replaced carpet, painted drab walls, and bought some furniture that made our small space more manageable.

It was a sweet time. It was a season of true contentment as we enjoyed the abundance right in front of us.

We were no longer looking for a bigger house...but one day it fell in our laps. Even bigger than we'd been looking for. In the right neighborhood. Near friends. In a great school district.

The problem? It cost more than the previous houses we'd made offers on, which the bank wouldn't finance for us. And there had been no increase in our income. There was zero reason to expect we could get "the yellow house".

Well, guess what? We got the yellow house!

And the home we were in sold the first day it hit the market for $40K MORE than we were asking after a bidding war ensued.

The yellow house is such a place of sweet childhood memories for all our kids. What a blessing and a gift it was!

To this day...I really don't have an explanation for how it happened so easily except to say that the hand of God's favor is very real indeed.

[Side note...the yellow house did NOT look the way I wanted it to. I really did not love the canary yellow color, and was so eager to paint it. We never did paint it though - we never had the money to do so - there's a lesson here on beautiful blessings not always looking the way we want/expect ;-) ]

The yellow house story is just one of many stories like this in my life. A deep and peaceful season of contentment preceded every major turning point in my life...meeting my husband, having children, starting a business, moving across the country, moving to our dream home...

And I feel a call to a new season of good stewardship and contentment this very moment.

But notice it is not ONLY contentment that leads to "great gain". It's contentment WITH godliness.

It's a peaceful waiting WITH God.

It's rooted in a deep trust of who He is. How good He is. How faithful He is.

So I will settle in.

I will take care of my home.

I will love my people.

I will sort, organize, and tidy.

I will make yummy meals for my husband and youngest child, the only one still "in the nest".

I will learn and grow and enjoy as interests pique my interest.

I will worship and pray and lean into the heart of God, who has always been so sweet and kind to me.

And I'll rejoice when the next "yellow house" is placed in my life...even if it doesn't look exactly how I'd like it to.

BUT EVEN IF nothing "good, better, great" comes next... even if I'm in this season of contentment with godliness until the day I leave this body...

...well, I can't think of a better way to spend the rest of my days.

So here's to resting. Here's to laying down striving and grinding and comparing. Here's to just floating on the current...breathing...and trusting Him to be the excellent and loving God He is.

Thank you, Lord, for being utterly faithful and good to me all the days of my life. Even in hard and painful seasons, you showed yourself to be patient and gentle and kind. You showed yourself to be GOOD in every sense of the word. Thank you for teaching me how beautiful it is to simply rest in your abundance...YOU are enough...YOU are more than what I need for all goodness and joy. I choose this day to rest in you...to trust in you...to rejoice in the goodness that is this life, right now. I look forward to whatever you have in store for me...whether it looks the way I want or not...because I know that you are good and capable to work all things together for ultimate good and for your glory. Let it be, Lord. I love you. ❤️

Choose a Kingdom

2025-09-24T08:58:00.001-06:00

Each time we speak, we align with and agree with a kingdom. We have a choice to make:

1. Our own kingdom of experiences and feelings?
2. The kingdom of this world?…be careful here because there is a “god of this world” who wants your destruction (2 Cor 4:4)
3. The Kingdom of God? The first two kingdoms will fall - they are defeated already. The Truth of God and His Kingdom is greater than all.
The Word of God is the only offensive weapon in the whole armor of God we’re given…the “sword of the Spirit”. It is mighty to pull down and destroy strongholds of self and the world in our lives.
It sometimes seems silly to “speak things that are not as if they are” (Romans 4)…but that is precisely what we are asked to do. We are called to stand on the Word of God EVEN when our physical experience says differently.
Please examine and search today…where are you feeling fearful, defeated, rejected, hopeless? Where do you feel lack of peace and joy?
Those areas are where there is likely a stronghold in your life that is NOT of the Kingdom of God. It’s time to battle in those areas…time to wield the Sword of the Spirit! I promise, there is victory and freedom in Him.
Church…we are no longer of the world. We are citizens of Heaven and are seated with Jesus. Let’s be set apart…let’s let our WORDS be set apart. Let’s speak as from the Kingdom we belong to. I lovingly and urgently encourage you…speak the Kingdom of God into your personal and worldly experiences, and watch as His Kingdom comes, His will is done...right here on earth as it is in Heaven.

Healing and the Heart of God

2025-08-20T15:44:00.007-06:00

Thinking, praying, and studying the work of God in our physical healing...so much to consider

Some teach that the healing of our physical bodies is part of the gospel message Jesus came to deliver and fulfill. Surely, it can't be argued that He was against healing given the vast number of times He healed in the New Testament. I can't think of a single place in scripture when a sick person came to Him for healing and was turned away disappointed. These teachers will pray bold prayers, and are sometimes accused of being TOO bold, too presumptuous, maybe even arrogant or "bossing" God around.

Others teach that physical healing is for days long past - only for the very early church as they established that first row of stones placed firmly on the cornerstone of Jesus Himself. These teachers will pray prayers that ask God for help in suffering well. Maybe, in a time of desperation, they'll cry out to God for healing...but these prayers are generally faithless. They don't really have hope for healing because their theology tells them "no" before they even ask.

And then there's the compromise...the moderate teachers. These would say that God CAN always heal, but it's not always His WILL to heal. They teach a mash-up theology that consists of part Biblical truth, and part physical/earthly experience. Personally, I've encountered this teaching most often. These folks' prayers always sound a bit like a hedged bet. They'll pray for healing..."but only if it's your will, God".

These contradicting teachings have been spinning in my mind the past few weeks as I've dealt with some of my own health issues (nothing major).

As always, I go to the Lord with my questions. Often, before the question is even out of my mouth, the answer comes in the form of Scripture.

The first that He highlighted is Matthew 8:17:

"This happened so that what was spoken through Isaiah the prophet would be fulfilled: "He Himself took our illnesses and carried away our diseases."

He took our illnesses and diseases and "carried them away".

The Lord whispered in my ear..."then what? are you suggesting He carried them away only to bring them back and hand them back to you?"

This suggestion literally made me laugh out loud!

He then asked, "Do I do things that I don't want to do? If I didn't want to remove illness and disease from you, why would I carry them away? I conquered illness and disease because I came to destroy all the works of the devil. Illness and disease are of the devil, not of me."

Oh Lord, forgive me for ascribing the works of the evil one to you!

The next scripture God brought me to was Isaiah 53:5:

"He was pierced for our offenses, He was crushed for our wrongdoings; The punishment for our well-being was laid upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed."

All the suffering...from Judas's betrayal, the agony in the garden, the lashes that nearly skinned Him alive, the crown of thorns, the beard pulling, the humiliation, the spitting and ridicule, the abandonment, the spikes through His hands and feet...NONE of it was wasted. It was ALL for our good.

Not a single speck of Jesus's suffering was because He deserved it. It was 100% OUR suffering that He endured.

God is perfectly just... He endured all the suffering necessary to be able to say "paid in full"...but not a single bit more. NONE of it was wasted.

The result? "By His wounds, we are healed."

The next Scripture God led me to was Ecclesiastes 3.

This is the famous "a time for everything" chapter in the Bible.

There's a time for everything...for every activity under the heavens.

to be born, to die

to plant, to uproot

to kill, to heal

a time to tear down, to build

to weep, and laugh

to mourn, and dance

I'll let you read the full chapter - it's pretty all encompassing.

As I read, I thought that the Lord was trying to show me that there's a "time to die". Certainly, no one is arguing the truth that our bodies reach their earthly end.

But the Lord corrected me with, "isn't it interesting that there's no mention of 'a time to be sick, and a time to be healthy'?"

I had to read the chapter through a few more times to be sure!

As I considered this interesting point, the Bible played like a movie in my mind...countless times when God healed His people!

As already mentioned, Jesus healed everyone who asked.

After He ascended, His church went on to heal many sick (and in some pretty creative ways!)

But this isn't a New Testament only teaching...the Old Testament is full of God healing too.

Do a quick web search of "healing in Scripture", and you'll have quite a list! (Here's a good list)

I read, and read, and read some more.

WHY was it so hard for me to fully embrace the idea that not only is God able to heal, but that He always WANTS to heal?

There was a battle in my mind...

...a battle between what I can see clearly written in God's Word and my physical experiences and perceptions

...a battle between various types of teaching I've been exposed to

...a battle between what I WANT truth to be and what I see with my own eyes in the flesh

I was done studying.

It was time to simply surrender and to submit myself to the Lord in this area.

My prayer was "God, I need Your truth. I know what I want, but I don't want my own desires. I want the TRUTH of You even if it turns my desires upside down. Please transform me into someone who can fearlessly accept the pure truth of Your Word without first filtering it through my earthly experiences. And Lord, I know that there is no "time for sickness" in Ecclesiastes, but I can't build a theology based on what's NOT in your Word! Please give me Your heart for healing, and give me eyes to see and ears to hear. Please settle this for me once and for all with a deep heart and mind and soul knowledge of You."

And oh, His sweet answer wrecked me.

He said simply, "I CAUSED ADAM TO SLEEP"

Oh, I weep even as I type this memory!

I've read Genesis 2:21 a hundred times:

"So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place"

As I read it with fresh eyes, the overwhelming tenderness and mercy of God for humanity struck me.

He caused Adam to sleep.

Do you see it? Do you see the tenderness? Do you see His gentle heart and hand? His consideration of Adam, His precious creation? Him gently tucking Adam in for a deep sleep while God worked a mighty new thing with Adams flesh?

All at once the idea that God would will (want/choose) to put disease and pain on His beloved bride seems utterly preposterous.

He is good

He is kind

He is gentle

He is faithful

Do I 100% get it now? Nope

I still have questions about times I've seen/experiences suffering...

I've seen unanswered prayers

I've seen untimely deaths

I've seen unspeakable pain and loss

But today...I also see more clearly the heart of God for us.

It is NOT His desire that we be sick or diseased or in pain.

This contradiction between the Heart of God revealed in Scripture and our experiences in the flesh leaves me with questions. But, at the end of the day, the Word of God stands true. My "experiences" don't negate a single part of the Word.

I think this is where many theologians would shrug and utter something profound about "mysteries"

I feel a tug in my spirit as the Lord asks me to trust Him.

Yes, Lord, I trust you. Thank you for bowing so low to speak to this daughter of yours. Thank you for sharing Your heart with me. Thank you for being so gentle, tender, loving, and kind...and also mighty and powerful. Thank you that your thoughts are so much higher than mine, and that you work everything to my ultimate good. Thank you that you hold me in your hand, and that you dwell even within me. Come what may, I will trust your beautiful heart for me. I believe and trust what your Word says. Thank you for carrying sickness and disease away from me. Thank you for providing for my freedom. Lord, please move in power by your Holy Spirit to free me of any sickness, disease, fear, curse, or injury that seeks to do me harm. Thank you God, for the power of the blood of Jesus. Thank you for providing "it is FINISHED". Please apply ALL the finished work of the Cross to my mind, my soul, my body, and my family in your perfect timing. Amen

Fruit Matters

2025-08-17T13:46:00.031-06:00

Fruit matters. We don’t have to wonder or be confused about whether or not a teacher is “on” or “off”. As believers, we have a supernatural understanding of the Word, and we have the fruit of the teacher to check.

First and foremost, the Word. We check everything against the written Word. If a teacher teaches a gospel contrary to the gospel within those pages, stay far away.

And the Word itself gives us clues about what to look for as we discern truth from deception…fruit.

You can tell a lot about a plant by the type of fruit it produces.

These days, I’m seeing a lot of 1 Timothy 6:4-5 “teachers” who sell themselves as “discerning” and trying to “protect” the flock. But their fruit says otherwise.

- constant criticism

- always playing “devils advocate” (Indeed!)

- lots of pointing out the errors of others

- controversy

- disputes

- envy

- strife

- friction

- division

- suspicion

Conversations with these folks will leave you feeling uncertain and fearful.

Does anyone come to mind? If so, please take that person and their teaching to the Lord and ask Him for His heart and mind In the matter.

Please don’t hear what I’m not saying … our feelings do NOT determine God’s truth

But feelings ARE part of the overall picture to consider

Fear, shame, confusion, division, and strife are not from God

God corrects and disciplines , yes

He calls us to live set apart and holy, yes

But you will feel His heart of love and gentleness even when He’s correcting you.

Check the fruit of your teachers, brothers and sisters.

Avoid worldly and empty chatter and opposing arguments of what Is falsely called “knowledge”

(1 Tim 6:20)

Look for the evidence (fruit) of the Holy Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Bottom line… I you know more about what a teacher is against than what they’re FOR… you might want to find a different teacher

“he is conceited and understands nothing; but he has a morbid interest in controversial questions and disputes about words, out of which arise envy, strife, abusive language, evil suspicions, and constant friction between men of depraved mind and deprived of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain.”

‭‭1 Timothy‬ ‭6‬:‭4‬-‭5‬

Rooted

2025-04-23T14:38:00.001-06:00

This happy dandelion caught my attention today. Some might look at it and think "oh, it's a picture of strength and resilience - just look how determined it is to grow in those harsh surroundings!"

I don't see it that way.

That plant is not "working hard" to prevail against harsh conditions. It's just doing what it's made to do.

When I asked the Lord what He was trying to show me, He whispered the word "ROOTED" 🌱

Of course!

Circumstances and surroundings don't have the power of death when the ROOT is where it belongs.

Of course, this plant has a long taproot down into fertile soil, so the plant thrives despite being surrounded by unfriendly circumstances.

How about you?

Do you feel blown by the winds of change?

Panicked by the evening news?

Afraid for the future?

Disturbed by political changes or swings in the stock market?

Uncertain about time, finances, aging, kids, purpose, relationships, etc.?

If yes, then I gently encourage you to examine where you're rooted. The "fruit" of panic, fear, anxiety, uncertainty...they are fruits that indicate an unhealthy plant. THAT plant is working hard, battling, and striving.

Be like the dandelion, friend 😂

Get your roots into fertile soil.

Get you face pointed toward the Son ☀️ (see what I did there?)

And then...rest.

Let Him be God, and you can be His child.

Of course, there's good work to do in this life...but when you're rooted in Him, everything is grace.

Resilience and toughness is overrated - the world tries to sell it as "strength"...but it's really just a path to exhaustion and futility.

Call on Jesus and just see how sweet life can be ❤️

There Is No "If"

2025-04-07T09:36:00.000-06:00

The past few days have been especially hard for me. Who am I kidding...the past few weeks...months...years even. They've been hard as I struggle with physical pain in my body.

The doctor tells me that I have a torn meniscus in each knee. This is the first time I've dealt with chronic pain like this. It hurts when I walk. It hurts when I rest. It even hurts to the point of me shouting out in pain in the middle of the night.

It wasn't very long ago that I would have simply booked a surgical appointment and had them both repaired. That's the reasonable course of action, right?

But I had an unsettled feeling in my heart from the beginning as I contemplated surgery. Of course, I don't love the idea of surgical pain. I don't love the idea of the financial cost. But most of all, I felt the prompting of the Lord to "hold"... to simply wait.

So I wait. And I suffer. And I miss long walks with my husband. I miss hiking through the woods and working in my yard.

Waiting doesn't make sense to my logical brain.

In fact, I woke one day with certainty in my heart about having surgery - I felt peaceful and excited to put the pain behind me and get back to exercising and getting fit. But based on my previous certainty to wait, I asked the Lord to confirm this new decision to move forward with surgery. Boy, did He deliver on that request quickly!

I opened the Word that morning to the genealogy of Jesus in the first chapter of Matthew. I read every word at the prompting of the Holy Spirit, and my eye settled on the name "Asa". I could not read past his name, so I dug into the story of King Asa. The punchline is found in 2 Chronicles 16:12-13:

"In the thirty-ninth year of his reign Asa became diseased in his feet. His disease was severe, yet even in his disease he did not seek the LORD, but the physicians. So Asa slept with his fathers having died in the forty-first year of his reign."

My jaw pretty much hit the floor! And I was frustrated and SO mad! I wanted the pain gone. I wanted to seek the physicians. And frankly, in many areas of my life, I DO seek physicians with no conflict of conscience. I take prescription medicines. I've had surgery. I've been greatly blessed by healing provided by God through physicians' hands.

But the message was clear - the Lord was asking me to wait and seek Him in this. I was super irritated.

Eventually, I decided to settle into hope.

For a while, I was eager in the painful waiting. I figured that God must have something better in store for me. Why else would He ask me to wait?

And wow, the Lord has absolutely knocked my socks off the past couple years. The Bible tells us that followers of Jesus will see signs...believers in Jesus "will cast out devils, they'll speak in new tongues, they'll take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover." (Mark 16:17-18)

I'm here to testify -- this scriptural promise still stands to this day!

I've seen it with my own eyes. I've seen demons flee as I pray. I've experienced speaking in new tongues. I've laid hands on the sick, and they've recovered. Glory to God!!

(Admittedly, I've not taken up snakes or sipped on anything deadly...not exactly seeking those things out haha!)

I've seen cancer healed.

I've seen torn ligaments in shoulders healed.

I've seen chronic and debilitating back pain vanish.

I've seen addicts instantly delivered and healed...they're not recovering, they're healed.

And most recently (and ironically)...a woman at church just walked up to me TWO DAYS ago, and she was giddy to share with me:

"Daiquiri! I want you to know that when you prayed for my knee last month, God healed me! He HEALED me! He actually healed me! I had a torn meniscus in my knee...and it's totally healed now!"

I rejoiced with her. "Thank You, God, for healing my precious sister. Thank You for the honor of being Your hands and feet in praying for her. You're amazing!"

We celebrated together, and then I said "you wanna hear a crazy coincidence? I have a torn meniscus in each of my knees. Would you pray for me now?"

She put her hand on my shoulder and prayed for our good God to do for me just what He did for her. Surely, this was it? Surely this was the day of my miracle?

Apparently not. I limped away from that encounter feeling rejected and heartbroken.

Later the very next day (yesterday), a woman asked me to pray for her. She had terrible pain in her back. I laid my hands on her in faith. I believe that Jesus is who He says He is, and that He does what He says He will do.

She felt no improvement in her pain. Her sad blue eyes pierced me as she said "I know He's a healer. Why isn't He healing me?"

It cut me to the quick. My heart broke with and for her because I KNOW the pain in that question.

As I stood and worshiped the Lord yesterday, tears streamed down my cheeks and wet the front of my shirt. I felt utterly rejected and hurt. The pain in my knees paled in comparison to the heart-sick feeling I had that maybe I wasn't loved very much after all.

I KNOW that my feelings are real, but they're not always TRUE.

I fight to take my thoughts and feelings captive and to bend them to conform to the Truth of Jesus.

I speak "It is written..." over myself as I fight the pull of the black hole that is emotional turmoil.

Thank God for His written Word!

And even more, I thank God for the written Word's revelation of the living Word, Jesus.

So I went straight to the written Word this morning for comfort and an emotional "re-set". I'm not going to wallow in lies for another day. This is the day the Lord has made, and I WILL be glad! Teach me, Lord!

The Lord led me Matthew 12:36-39 when Jesus scolded people who were insisting on a sign. He said, "An evil and adulterous generation craves for a sign..."

My breath caught in my chest.
My heart seemed to beat louder than normal.
My ears rang in the profound silence that surrounded me.

Jesus was talking about ME in this verse!

Yes, "signs" will follow those who believe.

But I've been seeking His hand more than His heart.

Worse, I've been seeking His hand as PROOF of His heart.

Oh, Lord, I'm so sorry!

The scribes and Pharisees sought a sign...with impure intent:

"IF You are who You say You are, then show us a sign.
Prove Yourself to us.
Do what we want when we want it."

So ugly...but haven't I been doing the same?

"IF You love me, then show me a sign.
Prove You love me by healing me.
Do what I want how and when I want it."

Yup - just as ugly.

I confessed the sin before the Lord, and I repented with all my heart. He was faithful and just to forgive me and wash me clean (1 Jn 1:9).

All at once, I heard His familiar voice whisper lovingly:

"There is no 'if'"

I was swept under the wave of love that rolled over me.

Oh God, You love me. You are good.

No matter my physical experience or my emotions, these two things are true every moment of every day.

I choose to believe the truth of Your love and goodness even when I don't "feel" it. Even when there is not the "sign" of it that I desire.

"If He heals me..."

"If He gifts me..."

"If He provides for me..."

"If I see a sign..."

Oh Lord, I'm sorry that I've attached "if" to Your everlasting love and goodness.

There. Is. No. "IF".

You are God and I am not.

You are loving and good and true. Period.

Thank You for loving and forgiving me. Thank you for teaching me.

I will stand and worship and thank You for Your faithfulness and goodness...even if I must stand on throbbing legs to do it.

Thank You for your patience with me and my bratty ways! Thank You that You are my Rock even when I make the mistake of setting my eyes on the wind and waves.

Thank You for Your unfailing love and faithfulness.

Words cannot express Your goodness Lord. Please see the welling of love and awe in my heart for You, God. Let the incense of my love and worship rise to Your throne day after day. Night after night. Regardless of my earthly circumstance...You are holy and worthy and so very good.

The Cost of Love

2025-02-22T09:55:00.000-07:00

Feeling a little sad this morning. We decided it was time to say goodbye to our old boy Packer last night. He was a fixture in our lives for 14+ years, and the house feels strange without him. I missed him limping his way over to me this morning to give me a good morning hug. He was a crazy dog...but he was so sweet and I loved him the best I could.

As I contemplate my heartache over a dog...it strikes me that God is love. Jesus came in love. The Holy Spirit ministers to us in love. We are made in His image, and we are called to so thoroughly love that it's becomes a badge that enables the world to identify the followers of Jesus.

But there's a serious cost to follow that call.

It costs us to love. It costs our very selves because love is an utterly selfless thing. It is caring about someone else even above ourselves. It is sacrificing and compromising and all giving...all pouring out.

Thankfully, love is designed to be a relationship - a two way street - a pouring out AND a filling up.

We love God and He loves us infinitely MORE.

We love a spouse and they love us back.

We love and old dog and we're met with faithful tail wags, a little jump of joy when they see us, and a sweet friendly presence to be with us...even if they are a hairy mess with awful (AWFUL) breath!

It's designed to be good and beautiful - a literal reflection of the amazing heart and character of our Creator.

But still...there's a heavy cost when choosing to love in this lifetime.

Too often, love is not reciprocated.

Too often, "love" is selfish and cruel (not actually love, but a misuse of the word).

Too often, the one(s) who are meant to love us the most are wrapped up in fear and hurt and lies...the best they can do is respond harshly and selfishly instead of gently as they strive to protect their already wounded heart. All they can pour out to their partner is the fear and hurt and lies that they're ruled by...and this upside down culture of ours encourages this as "strength" or "toughness" or "independence".

And even when we do find/discover/develop a (near) perfect Godly love that removes fear...that is patient and kind...that is giving and humble...that is honoring and self-giving...that is slow to anger an forgives quickly...that is a source of joy and comfort

...even then, there is a cost.

There is the cost demanded by time itself.

We see the precious hands weaken and the wrinkles set in. The hair grays and the walk slows. Time marches...marches...marches...

We know where it's leading. We tuck the dread away, and pray an earnest, "Maranatha!"

Yet, despite the cost, I choose love.

I choose connection and tenderness.

I choose to give my heart...my whole self...away.

Yes, there is a very steep cost of love...

...and I believe it's worth it.

The Prayer of Faith

2024-07-02T11:43:00.005-06:00

Are we praying the prayer of faith, or the prayer of doubt?

Too often, we pray the prayer of doubt.

The prayer of fear.

The prayer of defeat.

We pray the PROBLEM instead of the solution.

Proverbs 18:21 says "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit."

With that in mind, what does "the prayer of faith" in James 5:14-15 mean?

Instead of speaking about the problem and begging God to do what He already did and offers to us freely, let’s simply BELIEVE HIM enough to speak out what HE says about what we have going on. Faith…having confidence in who God is and what He says instead of confidence in our circumstance.

This can seem foolish or silly because we find ourselves speaking things that we can’t yet see with our eyes. But isn’t that what faith is? Yes…yes, it is. Faith is the evidence of things NOT SEEN, friends.

Even if we don’t see it yet, we’re asked to walk by faith and not sight.

So it reasons that the “prayer of faith” is the act of praying/speaking what we believe even though we cannot see it (yet!).

In fact, if we CAN see it, that’s not faith at all…that’s walking by sight and not faith!

At best, we too often pray a "double minded" prayer that sounds a lot like hedging our bet.

Check out this definition for "hedging a bet": "A hedge is a method to reduce risk and secure winnings for a specified bet. It means betting the opposite side of your original wager in order to either try to middle the game, or to reduce the downside exposure of the original wager."

We do this, right?

Original wager: "I trust you, God. You are my healer. You are my great physician. You are able to heal me. By your stripes I am healed."

The opposite of the original wager: "But God, if you don't want to heal me, that's ok. If you're not still in the healing business, that's ok. If your plan is for me to be sick and to die young, that's ok."

Here's what James 1:6-8 has to say about this kind of double-mindedness:

"But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

Friends, we CANNOT hedge our bets! We cannot hedge our prayers. We cannot speak faith out of one side of our mouth, and doubt out of the other side!

What is the result when we do this?

I'm reminded of just how many times (a LOT), Jesus replied to someone seeking healing from Him with, "let it be done according to your faith" or "your faith has healed you"

ACCORDING TO YOUR FAITH

I'll say it as clearly as I'm able...don't let your faith be garbage that's based on what you SEE or EXPERIENCE. Speak the truth of God over your life whether you see it yet or not.

Go ALL IN

Friends, if I'm gonna go down....I'm going down swinging with all my strength.

All in on who God says he is.

All in on what God says Jesus did.

FAITH is not a whimpy Christianese term.

Faith is IT. Faith is ALL we have.

Faith is the ONLY thing that gives us access to the grace of God (Romans 5:2).

Are you with me, friends?

What are you struggling with today? What's causing you pain or fear?

I encourage you to go right NOW to the Word to see what GOD SAYS about your circumstance.

Quick circling the drain in fear and doubt...and get your feet on The Rock.

Have CONFIDENCE in Him today.

Trust what He says even if you don't "see" it yet.

Actively reject fear and shame and doubt.

QUIT. HEDGING.

He is TRUE.

He is FAITHFUL.

He is ABLE.

He is WILLING.

He is WORTHY of our lives lived all-in with Him.

ox Daiq

Inspecting the Fruit

2024-06-26T10:17:00.007-06:00

Contemplating why yesterday afternoon was painful for me.

I felt stressed. Defeated. Frustrated. Ashamed. Fearful. Ugly. Useless.

I had a good sob-fest in my room like any rational adult woman would ;-) And I woke this morning with very puffy eyes...and the voice of the Holy Spirit whispering gently, "wanna talk about it?"

I opened my Bible to Luke chapter 14, which is an interesting series of messages that go something like:

1. Hate all else and follow me
2. Pick up your cross and follow me
3. Count the cost
4. Give up all to be my disciple

Bottom line...surrender ALL to Him.

The Holy Spirit was so tender when He said, "The reason those two areas are so painful for you is because you're insisting on carrying them and they're simply too heavy for you. It'll always hurt you to carry them. And I'll allow them to hurt you because I want you to learn to put them in my hands and to leave them there. Have you had enough yet?"

My whole mind, body, and soul screamed "YES, I've had enough!"

But agreeing isn't the final step.

Actually gathering up all the heavy stuff and RELEASING it to Him is the final step.

Oh Lord, cast that junk FAR away from me so I can't pick it back up even if I foolishly think I want to!

Today is a day to inspect the fruit in different areas of my life.

I'll rejoice and be thankful when I recognize the fruits of a surrendered life...peace and joy and contentment.

And if/when I see evidence of fear, shame, condemnation, or defeat...I'll simply recognize those areas of my life as "big ugly heavy" things that require surrender.

He's a good Father.

He doesn't require our surrender as a way to make us poor.

He asks for our surrender because He knows it's healthy for us, and He wants His beloved to be healthy.

I want what He so compassionately and lovingly offers to lavish on us... all the good stuff.

I want total freedom from all the works of the evil one.

It's what Jesus came to do.

It's why he suffered for the JOY set before Him.

Thank you Lord, and please have the fullness of what You purchased in me and my loved ones.

Is Jesus Still Healing?

2024-06-24T10:18:00.024-06:00

Affiliate link for this book: Christ the Healer, Bosworth

Does God still want to physically heal as Jesus did?

Does God change?

Are Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and God the Father not ONE?

Do they not have the SAME will?

Did Jesus not demonstrate the will of the entire Godhead when He healed all?

Be encouraged, friends. God has not changed. God the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are ONE. One heart. One mind. One purpose. One character. One name. One will.

He is still saving, healing, and delivering RIGHT. NOW. I've seen it with my own eyes. Hallelujah!

I'm reading this book right now and it's taking SO long to get through it. Not because it's a hard read - it's very easy to read. It's taking me forever because I find myself stopping to underline half the book!

Today's big takeaway that's making me stop to chew and digest truth:

"If sickness, as some think, is the will of God for His faithful children, then it is a sin for them even to desire to be well. This says nothing of spending thousands of dollars to defeat His purpose."
"If sickness is the will of God...every physician is a lawbreaker; every trained nurse is defying the Almighty; every hospital is a house of rebellion, instead of a house of mercy. If this were true, instead of supporting hospitals, we out to do our utmost to close every one."
"If the modern theology of those who teach that God wants some of His worshipers to remain sick for His glory is true, then Jesus, during His earthy ministry, never hesitated to rob the Father of all the glory He could by healing all who came to Him. The Holy Spirit, likewise, robbed Him of all the glory He could by healing all the sick in the streets of Jerusalem. And Paul, too, robbed God of all the glory he could by healing all the sick on the island of Melita."

Jesus Heals

2024-06-08T11:12:00.000-06:00

Watching God water the earth and feeling my brain swell and shift and tremble as my thinking framework is turned on it's head...

Saturday is recovery day for me. "Sleep in Saturday", we call it. I love being able to sleep until I can't anymore...and then I lounge in bed thinking about whatever comes to mind...looking out the window...talking with God.

I did a quick check of my phone to make sure I wasn't missing anything urgent with my family, and I saw a message from a friend we (me and another friend) prayed with this last week. I can still picture the terrible swelling in the joints of her hands caused by years of osteoarthritis. I can feel her hands in mine as we prayed for the Lord to heal her of the pain and stiffness.

She wrote this morning to report that the swelling in her right hand is gone and she can close both her hands all the way (!!)

As I stared at the message in awe, I heard the reminder "Why are you surprised? He came to destroy the works of the devil. That means ALL of it. Your entire being is free. Every inch top to bottom. Inside and out. Jesus ransomed it all."

I google to find that verse...1 John 3:8

The word "destroyed" leaps off the page - what does that word mean, exactly?

It is the Greek work Luo "loo-oh", to destroy.

But my study tool makes a point to say "compare to 'rhesso'"....So I go to see what rhesso means (also often used to speak of some sort of destruction). Why did the Holy Spirit use luo instead of rhesso??

The study tool says this about rhesso: "to break, crack, wreck, shatter to minute fragments, BUT NOT A REDUCTION TO THE CONSTITUENT PARTICLES LIKE LUO"

Woah!!!

Luo: to melt, loosen, break up, destroy, put off, to set free, to annul, to deprive of authority, to declare unlawful, to overthrow and do away with (Thayers)

Jesus came to "luo" the works of the devil. He didn't just release a wrecking ball to break it down and leave a mess behind. He utterly destroyed...melted...annulled...overthrew...REDUCED IT TO THE CONSTITUENT PARTICLES.

As I write, I think of a greasy cooking dish with a bit of spaghetti sauce floating on the surface of the water. A single drop of dish soap added to the water, and you know what happens to that greasy mess. It doesn't stay and fight it out with the soap...it practically flies in the opposite direction of the soap.

The nature of the grease and the soap are SO utterly in opposition to one another that the grease is physically unable to stay in the same space where the soap is dropped. There's no battling it out - the soap is simply more powerful.

And as we swirl the soap around in that pan, the grease has no fight to offer. It's dissolved. Loosened. Melted. Broken down to particles that can't stick and make a mess any longer. It's simply and easily rinsed away as the soap does it's job.

It's a crude example, but a good visual.

A single drop of The Blood does the same to the works of the devil. We don't have to strive and fight. We simply agree with Jesus, and invite the Holy Spirit to apply the finished work of Jesus to our lives.

"Resisting the devil" is not a striving and fighting. It's speaking out the TRUTH of Jesus's victory.

It's like a single drop of soap in a greasy pan.

We ask and plead and beg for God to heal and save and deliver...

...meanwhile, we stand at the sink with a GALLON of dish sop, wondering why the pan won't clean itself.

Apply the soap to that greasy dish, friend.

APPLY THE BLOOD!

It's fully available to us. It's infinitely powerful.

SPEAK it because the power of life and death are in the tongue.

You only need a drop, but why stop there when an infinite OCEAN of healing and wholeness is available?

God isn't stingy. He's not expecting you to use a drop, and then work the rest out on your own.

Just DIVE right into that ocean of grace, friend. Dive in and be saturated. Live in it. See how easy and light the burden is that He asks you to carry. Enjoy the peace and joy He offers.

If you're feeling like you're drowning in fear, overwhelm, shame, and hopelessness...you're simply and needlessly dying of thirst.

Come to to the fountain. Come to the ocean of grace. Watch as the work of the devil is utterly destroyed in your life as the Truth is applied.

Be saved.
Be healed.
Be delivered.

It's what Jesus came to do

RECIPE: Inexpensive Freezer Burritos

2024-06-07T13:10:00.000-06:00

I saw a recent statistic about how much more groceries cost right now than they did just a year or two ago (seriously...let's NOT discuss the reasons here ;-) ). The increase was absolutely staggering!

Anyone else feeling a bit of a pinch at the grocery store lately? Maybe this should be our new "me too" movement haha

Anyway - I thought I'd share a money saving tip that I pulled out of my past...I used to make a giant batch of these every month or two when we were single income family with 4 kids, and didn't know where the milk money was going to come from. FREEZER BURRITOS!

After shopping, I did some basic math...These end up being about $1.50 for the chicken burritos and about $1.00 for the bean burritos (with my store prices - might vary a bit for you). Not bad!

Whip up a batch for a quick and easy meal any time :-)

Burritos are pretty self-explanatory, but if you like a recipe, here you go:

Makes 8 bean and cheese burritos AND 16 chicken and cheese burritos = 24 TOTAL burritos

Ingredients:

- 24 burrito size flour tortillas

- 8 oz can of black beans, drained and rinsed

- Nutritional Yeast (optional)

- 28 oz can of refried beans

- 1 bag (2.5 lbs) of frozen chicken breasts or tenders

- 1 jar of your favorite salsa - I used a 16 oz jar of Medium Pace chunky salsa

- approx 1.4 lb of cheddar cheese - shred

- parchment paper

- Gallon ziplock style bags - you'll need 3

**I didn't do rice in these, but I will next time! Feel free to experiment with whatever you think would be yummy in a burrito :-)

Instructions:
1. Toss a bag of frozen chicken in the instapot and cook for an hour. If you don't have a pressure cooker, just cook the chicken however you like. Make sure it's cooked thoroughly.
2. Once cooked, dump a jar of salsa in with the chicken. Heat and stir to dice/shred the chicken and simmer until water is cooked off.
3. To save money and avoid that weird powdery stuff in pre-shredded cheese, I buy chunks of cheese and shred either by hand or in a food processor. While the chicken cooks, shred the cheese.

4. Time to assemble! I do in batches of 8 at a time for simplicity.

- Set out 8 tortillas

- add a dollop of refried beans and spread off-center for easy rolling later

- top with black beans, nutritional yeast, and cheese (bean burritos)

- top with chicken and cheese (chicken burritos)

- roll tightly and wrap with parchment

- store 8 burritos per gallon bag and freeze

To Cook:

1. Pop the burrito (still in parchment) in microwave to defrost

2. If you like a soft burrito, cook another couple minutes in micro

3. If you like a crunchy edge like me, unroll the burrito and place the burrito on the parchment in the oven at 375 for 10 minutes or so

4. I like to serve with a dollop of sour cream, salsa, and greens

** HOT! be careful! You are in real danger of burning your lips right OFF YOUR FACE if you don't let it cool before digging in!

Enjoy! :-)

The Story: DaiqRose Calm Balm

2024-06-06T16:10:00.001-06:00

Remember when I told you about my new and improved Etsy shop?

One of the main reasons I started it back up is to have a place to share this amazing stuff :-)

Listen, I turned 50 recently.

My body seems to have no idea what it's supposed to be doing lol

My skin is a major culprit. Is it dry? Oily? Wrinkly? Saggy? Acne prone? Sensitive?

Who the heck knows anymore!

Meanwhile (or rather because of), my hormones are ALL over the place.

I had to finally come to terms and go see my doctor about what was going on with me...the joint pain, lack of sleep, hot flashes...what do the kids say? I think it's something like IYKYK (if you know you know)...see kids, I'm not in the grave yet ;-)

My doctor said that at the rate I was going, I was being set up for loss of bone AND BRAIN mass at a younger than normal age.

NO THANK YOU!

He prescribed a low dose estrogen patch that I put on my skin. I literally felt like my old self again within 48 hours of starting it. A modern day miracle.

But one day as I was applying this tiny little patch...literally smaller than my thumb nail...it struck me how amazingly impactful this TINY little thing on my skin was. All at once, I had a fuller understanding of just how absorbent my skin is.

I always thought of my skin as a BARRIER, not a sponge! But there I was, absorbing the ingredients of that medicine through my skin.

Suddenly, the products I'd been using on my skin seemed very, very important.

Especially the products that I apply and leave on all day - the cleansers seem slightly less important simply because they're on my skin so temporarily.

You've probably seen tallow as a major skincare ingredient recently...it's all the rage at the moment.

As I read about the benefits of tallow on human skin, I knew I had to try it.

I got my hands on a local butcher, and bought some tallow. I rendered it down, added a little olive oil, and applied to my skin.

Was.

Amazed.

My skin became SO happy!

This was literally a skincare product I could eat...and not just survive, but draw actual nutritional benefit from. Crazy!

So I kept playing with it. The first batch I made was pretty firm and difficult to rub in. So was the second batch, plus it smelled weird haha. But I tweaked it until I found something that works AND that I enjoy.

It's smooth, absorbs quickly, doesn't leave me feeling greasy, and it smells nice. And a little bit goes a LONG way, so a couple ounces lasts me months when I'm using it 2x a day.

Bottom line...I created a finished balm that is AHHHHHmazing, if I do say so myself ;-)

I created it strictly for me with zero intention of selling it - and then I saw a young woman at church who was struggling with a terribly painful eczema flare on her face. She was miserable. So I transferred some of my balm to a little jam jar, and gave it to her hoping it would help....and it did!

She loved it so much, that she told one of her friends about it who was dealing with a horrible acne breakout. I was skeptical, but hopeful that it would help her too. I shared a little tin of it with her...and she loved it too!

Then my nephew had some sort of tender irritated patch on his neck...you guessed it, it worked like a charm for him.

And a friend who was battling a terrible razor burn type of rash...more calmed skin!

And another friend's daughter who was feeling embarrassed about her acne...more relief!

So here we are - this image is of the most recent batch I made - I have 12 tins available. Supply is quite limited because I can only get my hands on so much tallow at a time, and it's a TON of work to render it down.

This is not some sort of high-pressured sales tactic ...just the logistical facts. First come, first served :-)

I hope you love it too!

You can find it here: DaiqRose Calm Balm on Etsy

ox DaiqRose

To be clear: I am NOT a doctor or even a scientist. I'm just a SAHM who whipped some tallow balm up in her kitchen for her own personal use, and it ended up helping others. This is NOT medical advice or any type of prescriptive advice. This is strictly personal testimony.

Job Description: Don't Work

2024-06-06T15:00:00.009-06:00

God whispered to me while I ironed today

Have ---> Do ---> Be

vs

Be ---> Do ---> Have

As one of my favorite teachers shared recently, the world would have us operate out of a place of what we HAVE in an effort to eventually work our way to who we ARE/ want to BE = Striving. Earning. Grinding.

The Lord teaches differently. He starts with who we ARE…our identity. And everything flows from there = Peace. Contentment. Confidence.

As I ironed, I heard that still small voice say “this is a perfect example”

I used to HATE ironing. I mean absolutely loathe it.

But today I found myself enjoying it because I adore my husband. I love being his wife. I relish little things I can do to help him and care for him.

I ironed carefully and lovingly out of who I AM. I am the well-loved, adored, and precious wife of Luke Fouch

The reason I used to hate ironing for him was because I was operating from a place of “should”. It felt like an obligation and a chore. I thought that to be a “good wife”, ironing was something I needed to do. (To be clear, he never once asked me to iron for him. He’s quite capable and willing to do his own ironing.)

I was trying to DO in order to become someone I aspired to be.

Now, I know who I AM, and I do things out of that place of wholeness and strength.

Do you see the difference? It seems subtle, but it’s a massive 180° turn.

The irony is that when I operated out of obligation and “should”, I never actually achieved my goal. All my work was for nothing. I was left always feeling like I could have done better…and that I was never quite good enough.

Now, I START “good enough”. More than good enough, actually. Everything that flows out of that identity is just icing on the cake.

It’s the same with our relationship with God.

The world and the spirit of religion demand our obedience and hard work to achieve the title “good Christian” or “good child of God”.

But God asks us to operate differently. He tells us right off the bat, “YOU ARE MY CHILD AND I LOVE YOU”.

And He expects us to operate FROM His love and acceptance…not FOR His love and acceptance.

The heart of it is this: can I trust Him? Can I rely entirely on His Word EVEN if it’s contrary to what I see with my own eyes sometimes??

Will I be a “sensual” Christian, believing my senses and experiences?

Or will I totally surrender and believe the Word NO MATTER WHAT?

It’s ironic really…the hardest work God calls us to is the difficult job of STOPPING all the hard work!

Surrender
Rest
Enjoying Him
Peace
Wholeness
Contentment

It’s a great job to have…and the benefits package is amazing ;-)

I Just Like Making Stuff :-)

2024-05-30T15:15:00.001-06:00

I started something new and fun recently!

Years ago, I remember talking with my dad about business names. He emphasized the importance and value of a person's name, and it stuck with me. I reopened and re-branded my Etsy store a couple days ago. I've always strived to "look professional"...fancy or something I guess. But as I stared at the screen the other day, I heard my dad's voice and I thought about my mom and dad choosing this name. For ME. So I'm done with "fancy" or "professional" I'm just gonna do...ME. One November day in Texas about 50 years ago, a young couple met their first child. A baby girl. And they named her Daiquiri Rose. I don't have a specialty product because I love creating in ALL forms. I don't have a special background for my logo...just a simple little yellow rose I painted with watercolors a few years ago. I have no idea who my "target audience" is or what they're looking for. LOL - I'm basically breaking all the smart business tips/rules I've ever read about. And I'm ok with that. I'm just going to create for the joy of it, and that will be good enough. And if it seems like something that might bless, encourage, or inspire someone besides me...I'll throw it in the Etsy shop and see what happens. So come see me at my Etsy shop, "DaiqRose Creations"! Or don't. That's ok too ;-)

I'll just be over here making stuff and having fun ox Daiq Rose

The Root of Dread, Resentment, Weariness

2024-05-29T15:02:00.051-06:00

I woke up this morning feeling such a heavy feeling of DREAD.

Real talk…I hate to say it, but I always feel dread on days when I have ministry sessions :-(

So I took it to the Lord and asked what this is. I don’t want to keep feeling this awful way!

“You dread the hard work you’re about to do. You dread taking so much time to sit and work with someone when you have so many other things that you want to do”

So I asked why it’s so heavy and exhausting for me. Isn’t this just a normal thing to feel when we’re doing good and important work for the Lord?

“No. You learned that from the spirit of religion”

Wait, what?

“Religion says to work hard for me. I say my yoke is easy and I offer you rest. Who are you believing?”

Dang

Ok what about the time thing…how can I avoid feeling restless and resentful when I feel like doing something else?

“Religion says hustle and grind because time is short. Time’s a wastin’. I remind you that I am the keeper of time. I can redeem the hours you spend in this. Again, who are you believing?”

And…dang again

So, once again I put this ministry in His hands. I show up to every session empty handed and trust Him to do the heavy work. I will rest and be patient as I give my time…with the faith that there will be time for all important things today.

I was blessed recently by a friend sharing that God had a vision of our ministry team - each person had their own special wardrobe and weapon as we went to battle. But what she saw of me didn't include any weapons or armor!

I confess, I had the fleeting thought…where is my armor? My weapons? I’m just standing on a big rock looking at God with a smile on my face?!

Yup. That’s exactly right.

I’m standing on THE Rock

Smiling

Resting

Feeling the wind in my hair

Wearing the simple crown of a well-loved daughter

Trusting

Waiting

Watching Him

Worshiping Him as He does what He does best…being God

Love Who?

2024-05-22T08:53:00.010-06:00

Jesus: "love your neighbor as yourself"

Spirit of religion: "You're an unlovable wretched sinner"

Several years ago, I was exercising to a song called "I love me" (Megan Trainor I think). As I be-bopped along to the catchy tune I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, "Do you?"

I literally stopped in my tracks.

"Is this song evil, Lord? Should I not be listening to it? Am I even supposed to love myself? That feels/sounds arrogant."

His reply... "Well maybe I should change the command to say 'love others more than yourself' then" with a wink and a smile

All at once His truth washed over me...the assumption in the command to love others as myself is that OF COURSE I love myself.

If I can't follow this most basic command because I've learned to "humble" myself to the point of loathing myself...how can I expect to be of any use at all for the Lord's purposes?

Have you noticed how the enemy uses truth, and twists it just a smidge? It still SEEMS true...but it only RESEMBLES truth.

Resembling truth is not the same as BEING truth.

This is one of those times. Humility makes sense and is proper before a holy God.

But that doesn't mean we spend our lives beating ourselves up and constantly being in grief about our sin.

Our thoughts about ourselves should reflect God's thoughts about ourselves. We are called to have the mind of Christ. So what does He say about you?

You're forgiven

You're loved

You're seating in the heavenlies

You're a friend of His

You're adored

You're a delight

You have purpose and calling

You have spiritual gifts

You're useful

You were saved, healed, and delivered

You are free

You have all you need

You are protected

You are adopted and fully accepted

You are able and welcome to enter the presence of God any time

I could go on and on and on...the Word is FILLED with beautiful revelations of what Jesus purchased for us on that wretched cross!

If you feel at all less than what God says about you, then friend...I lovingly say to you...you've fallen for a lie.

You have a real enemy who steals and kills and destroys. If you're living hurt and defeated and lost, then the enemy has stolen something from you.

As a believer, you have the authority to take it back. TAKE IT BACK!

Love yourself

Love yourself like God loves you

Get healed and whole and restored

THEN you can love others as you love yourself...and you'll love them well!