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Connecting an Invisible Community: Call to Safety and Survivors of Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence

2018-02-25T14:44:00.001-05:00

When we accept that true love is rooted in recognition and acceptance, that love combines acknowledgment, care, responsibility, commitment, and knowledge, we understand there can be no love without justice. With that awareness comes the understanding that love has the power to transform us, giving us the strength to oppose domination.

- bell hooks

Abstract

This paper will analyze the community of survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence in Portland, OR. I examine this community through the entrance point of the community organization Call to Safety. This organization serves survivors of both domestic violence and sexual assault. Survivors often experience both of these forms of violence. This paper will focus primarily on the adult community affected by sexual assault. Challenges that face this community are invisibility and cultural taboo around sexual assault, as well as the neo-liberal paradigm within which Call to Safety operates. The organization places emphasis on the individual to heal and become “empowered” and on volunteers to provide peer-to-peer support. I examine these practices through a feminist lens. Call to Safety has been working to serve sub-populations that experience higher rates of sexual assault and have been underserved in the past. They are currently examining how to best serve communities of color. They could increase cultural competency within their organization or continue to refer individuals to culturally specific organizations. I examine this topic through the lens of cultural competency as new racism.

History of Call to Safety

In 1973, a group of women founded the Portland Women’s Crisis Line (PWCL) in response to the “prevalence of sexual assault in the community” (Call to Safety, 2018). The crisis line was one of the first five sexual violence crisis lines in the United States (Call to Safety, 2018). Recently, PWCL changed its name to Call to Safety to reflect their service to and inclusion of all gender identities and expressions (Call to Safety, 2018). In 2017, Call to Safety responded to over 32,000 calls from Portland, as well as surrounding counties in Oregon and Washington (Call to Safety, 2017). There were 1,345 survivors who used the crisis line for dealing with experiences of sexual assault (Call to Safety, 2017, p. 3). Only 10% of Call to Safety crisis line callers have identified sexual assault as their primary need (Call to Safety, 2017, p. 4). These numbers contrast with the national statistics from RAINN that one out of every six American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape, and 21% of transgender, genderqueer, or noncorming (TGQN) college students have been sexually assaulted (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), 2018).

Call to Safety has two to three follow-up conversations with a client before they refer them out to other resources. These resources include shelters such as Bradley Angle, Clackamas Women’s Services, Casa Hogar, Raphael House, Vancouver Safe Choice—YWCA Clark County, West Women’s Shelter, SAFE of Columbia County and VOA Home Free Motel Vouchers. They also include culturally specific programs such as Healing Roots program at Bradley Angle and Self Enhancement, Inc (SEI) that serve African American and black survivors, the Domestic Violence Healing Circle at the Native American Youth and Family Center (NAYA), and the Immigrant and Refugee Community Organization (IRCO). Direct Service Advocates (DSA) also refer clients to partner organizations that are known by individuals rather than the organization. Thus, referral can be inconsistent and depend on the knowledge of the particular DSA or crisis line receiver (Call to Safety, 2016, p. 12).

Call to Safety has expanded their services to include direct services such as psycho-educational support groups, direct service advocates (DSAs), hospital visits, and community outreach and education (D, 2018). In 2017, Call to Safety supported 111 survivors through their hospital response program, offered on-going follow-up advocacy services to 249 unduplicated sexual assault survivors, and supported 74 survivors through their sexual assault groups (Call to Safety, 2017, p. 3). DSAs at Call to Safety work with specific communities experiencing multiple forms of oppression as well as sexual assault. While Call to Safety does not have employees who work specifically with people or communities of color, they work to be an anti-racist organization. On its website, Call to Safety claims to not just be a social service agency. They write: “We were founded as a social change organization. Domestic and sexual violence are widespread. We are dedicated to supporting those who experience violence in empowering themselves while working to end the oppressions at the root of violence (like racism, sexism, transmisogyny, and ableism).”

Connecting an Invisible Community

Due to trying to keep survivors safe from harm, Call to Safety is committed to confidentiality. D said that due to the Violence Against Women Act and the state and government funding that they receive, they are not allowed to disclose their location. On the website, there is a large warning on the top of webpage stating that survivors’ internet activity may be monitored by an abusive person. While these actions are for the protection of the clients that they serve, it places the burden of secrecy on the survivor and causes all activities related to Call to Safety to be initiated with a reminder of fear.

The only activities that happen onsite at Call to Safety are crisis line response and the support groups. As a member of one of the support groups, I have visited the onsite location. It is a two-story house in a residential neighborhood. Upstairs, 6 people sit at desks to answer phones. Downstairs, in what appears to be an old basement or garage, a small room with tables and chairs hosts groups. There is also a bathroom and storage space for menstrual, hygiene and other supplies given to clients of the organization. The room is wheelchair accessible and nicely lit. They practice trauma-informed care and always have individuals visit the building alone before attending support groups. They ask all participants to sign a confidentiality agreement, agreeing that they will not disclose the location. The building is on a bus line and located in SE Portland.

The other services provided by Call to Safety, such as direct service and advocacy, happen outside of the building (D, 2018). Other than the support groups, this may keep members of the community isolated from one another and keeps the community invisible. Interpersonal violence already has an isolating effect (Call to Safety, 2016, p. 6). People have no one to speak to or believe them, which diminishes the sense of connectedness among survivors (Call to Safety, 2016, p. 6). After experiencing sexual assault, many women turn their feelings inward. According to RAINN, 94% of women experience pot-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) during the two weeks following the rape, 30% report PTSD symptoms 9 months after the rape, 33% of survivors contemplate suicide, and 13% attempt suicide (accessed 2/11/18). They are also more likely to use drugs than the general public (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), 2018). Thus, having the direct service advocates provide a caring connection is the first and foremost service offered to clients.

Speaking about sexual assault is taboo. The ideology of patriarchy and Christianity has placed blame and shame on survivors, impacting their ability to connect with one another. The social constructions of survivors can range from victim/innocent to seductress/slut. The former construction would fall in Schneider and Ingram’s (1993) dependent category of politically weak and positive and the latter would fall in their deviant category, weak and negatively constructed. In either category, survivors are constructed as politically weak even if they have other politically strong identities. Both constructions also sexualize survivors. These constructions impact how organizations like Call to Safety go about raising funds for services.

While there is much pride in communities that share an ethnic heritage or a sexual identity, I have never felt pride in having experienced sexual assault. For many survivors, pride emerges from connecting to others who have also survived and thrived beyond their traumatic and oppressive experiences. In Call to Safety’s 2017 Year-End Stakeholder Report, they wrote, “We were inspired by the #metoo movement, created by Tarana Burke, a Black woman, in her effort to bring visibility to the pervasiveness of sexual violence, specifically with the intention of centering on the experiences of Black and Brown women and girls.” Cultural changes may impact the visibility of the survivor community, allowing survivors to more easily connect with one another and speak about their experiences publicly. Shifting the social construction of survivors to being seen as politically strong and united may allow for survivors to shape their own group image and combat attempts of others to portray them negatively in politics.

I saw the flier for the Adult Survivors of Sexual Assault group in the bathroom at PSU. I have not seen any other fliers in my residential neighborhood of Brooklyn or the neighborhoods I visit for groceries or work. Advertising for the support groups and other services are often done by fliers or by word of mouth. This may cause disproportionality in access to services. People who are more connected to service providers or knowledgeable communities are more likely to hear about Call to Safety’s services. Once connected to Call to Safety, clients may increase their social capital from connections with DSAs and getting connected to other organizations. Advocates work to get clients into housing and to have other material gains. This increase in social capital may have long term impacts on their future educational achievement, levels of crime and health (Ferlander, 2007, p. 116).

Peer Networks and Support through Empowerment

On its website, Call to Safety claims that it is dedicated to “supporting you in empowering yourself as you seek safety and healing.” The 2016 survivor-led evaluation identifies supporting survivors’ self-trust and self-love as part of Call to Safety’s empowerment model (p. 8). This framework operates within a neo-liberal paradigm, placing the emphasis on the individual to heal by reestablishing trust and love within their individual self. The support from others is temporary and meant to get the individual whole and separate from services, to a point where they are “empowered”. There is an assumption that the problem is the individual suffering from sexual assault, not the society which supports rape culture. bell hooks (2000) asserts that patriarchal violence is based on the belief that “it is acceptable for a more powerful individual to control others through various forms of coercive force” (p. 61). This belief is rampant in our society, from work places to schools.

Within Call to Safety’s empowerment model, there is also no mention of re-establishing trust with others or with a community. Much of healing from sexual assault is learning to love and trust others again. There is no mention that receiving support from others may be challenging for survivors due to the trauma experienced. bell hooks writes of the difficulty to love within a patriarchal society: “Our yearning for love, we were told in our consciousness-raising groups, was the seductive trap that kept us falling in love with patriarchal lovers, male or female, who used that love to subdue and subordinate us” (p. 100). In our society, love is linked to possession, domination, and submission. People have been beaten, restricted and even killed in the name of love. hooks believes that only through ending domination can we create truly loving relationships (p. 103). It is not our love or desire to love that is wrong, only the domination. Working to end sexual assault systemically could be healing for survivors. Survivors could design or implement sexual assault prevention curriculum in schools or prisons.

The 2017 survivor-led evaluation found that the most important thing members of the community sought was a “connection with someone who understands their experiences, and believes, listens to, and supports them” (Call to Safety, 2017). Direct service advocates provide caring and validation which eventually lead to survivors’ trusting their own decisions. Tarana Burke emphasizes the importance of survivors offering community-driven peer to peer support (Call to Safety, 2017, p. 1). In 2016, the crisis line at Call to Safety was staffed by 2,908 volunteers, many of which were also survivors (Call to Safety, 2017, p. 3). Average talk time for crisis line calls was 8 minutes (Call to Safety, 2017).

While volunteers provide necessary, mutual, peer support to survivors, not paying volunteers for their emotional labor and time reinforces systems of patriarchal oppression. hooks (2000) describes feminism’s failure to address wage equity for lower class jobs: “The fact that… masses of women still do not receive wage equity with men is an indication of the way in which class interests superceded feminist efforts to change the workforce so that women would receive equal pay for equal work” (p. 39). Feminism settled for fighting for women to become equal with men of their class, but left poor women and women of color struggling to liberate themselves financially. Women who have time to volunteer are not struggling to make ends meet financially, barring working poor women from sharing their knowledge and experience by answering the crisis line.

The relationship between a peer advocate and a survivor is more complicated than a pure friendship or clinical relationship. Advocates are paid for their work and yet are often main pillars of support for survivors who may be cut off from other forms of community. Due to the vulnerability that is involved in forming advocacy relationships, staff turnover can destabilize a survivor (Call to Safety, 2016, p. 11). DSAs perceive a high rate of staff turnover which impacts survivors’ experiences (Call to Safety, 2016). The advocates recommend increasing wages and opportunities for advanced learning. They also said that they seek affirmation that the work they’re doing is having a deep and meaningful impact in the lives of survivors. This unmet desire points to a lack of reciprocity. Is there a mutual benefit between advocate and survivor? Putnam (1995) writes in Ferlander (2007) that social capital is a combination of “networks, norms, and social trust that facilitate co-ordination and co-operation for mutual benefit” (p. 116). Call to Safety may best operate as a collective asset. The recently funded support groups that happen on site actually bring survivors together to collaborate and coordinate. These groups currently function as psycho-educational groups and might better serve as sites of resistance and mutual support, operating from the framework that each survivor has knowledge to offer to the group.

Intersectionality within the Survivor Community

In the 2016 Survivor-Led Evaluation, the Direct Service Advocates and survivors identified the success of the program as having to do with the focus on the whole self of the survivors (p. 2). Three advocates were added before 2016 to address intersectionality of oppression. They work with specific populations that experience rates of domestic violence and sexual assault at rates above the general population: survivors with intellectual and/or developmental disabilities, survivors experiencing houselessness, and survivors impacted by the sex industry (p. 3). In 2017, a DSA was hired to work specifically with sexual assault survivors in LGBTQI communities (Call to Safety, 2017, p. 2). Nickels said in an interview with PQ Monthly , “It wasn’t until the 1990’s that our movement began to understand and think about how to respond to LGBTQ survivors. I suppose folks working to end violence against women didn’t want to acknowledge that sometimes, women batter and assault. We now understand that domestic and sexual violence can occur in any relationship” (Ginelle, 2014).

Call to Safety acknowledges that the identity of ‘survivor’ “is only one facet of an individual’s life experience,” and that there are many intersecting aspects of life that create “unique strengths and challenges for the person” (Call to Safety, 2016, p. 3). One DSA interviewed for the 2016 survivor-led evaluation, noticed that survivors of color and folks who were not documented or didn’t speak English were often refered away to culturally specific organizations like project UNICA (Un Nuevo Inicio para Concluir de Abuso/ A New Beginning to End Abuse) run by Catholic Charities' El Programa Hispano or the others mentioned above (p. 12). This particular DSA thought that these actions “sends this message that those are never going to be the survivors that we work with, which really shouldn't be the goal” (p. 12). In response to this critique, Call to Safety’s 2016 evaluation suggests that they should facilitate deeper conversations about how to support DSAs to offer culturally responsive services. They write, “Specifically, we should ask: How is what we are already doing as an organization leading towards racial justice? What assumptions are behind the work that we do? What are we saying in our actions and how do survivors hear us?” (p. 12).

Pon (2009) suggests in “Cultural Competency as New Racism: An Ontology of Forgetting” that when cultural competency views culture as neutral and devoid of power and does not critique systems of oppression such as racism, sexism, ageism, heterosexism, and ableism, it allows whiteness to be a form of hegemony or “default standard” to evaluate and judge other racial/ethnic minorities against (p. 59). Pon writes, “Cultural competency, like new racism, operates by essentializing culture, while ‘othering’ non-whites without using racialist language” (p. 60). While Call to Safety is committed to being an anti-racist organization, the practices mentioned above of referring clients to culturally-specific organizations or of becoming more “culturally competent” reinforces the history of the organization which was founded upon whiteness. In a presentation on “Creating an Anti-racist Organization,” Rebecca Nickels, the previous executive director of Call to Safety, acknowledges the challenges facing culturally specific organizations. She mentions that they are often smaller and less funded, expected to take on advocacy because of culture and language, and/or part of larger organizations not focused on racial justice (Nickels, 2014).

Pon suggests that in nations like Canada or the U.S., where the nations are founded on a brutal history of genocide of indigenous peoples, an ontology of forgetting occurs (p. 66). The violence that occurs between intimate partners and to women is a direct result of the patriarchal culture which also supported the genocide of the native peoples of the U.S. and continues to support the violence against people of color. Pon writes that “Cultural competency is a manifestation of an ontology of forgetting Canada’s contentious relationship with non-whites. Social work’s investment in cultural competency discourses may, in part, be symptomatic of social workers’ desire to believe that Canada is largely a fair and tolerant society” (p. 66). This assessment can be applied to the U.S. and in particular to the services provided to survivors of sexual assault.

RAINN identifies Native Americans to be twice as likely to experience sexual assault when compared with all races (2018). Unlike other populations, 41% of sexual assaults against American Indians are committed by a stranger (2018). They also identify people who are incarcerated or in the military as having higher rates of sexual assault and lower access to services (2018). Nowhere on the Call to Safety website or in the direct service positions is this reality discussed. Call to Safety refers people to the Domestic Violence Healing Circle at the Native American Youth and Family Center (NAYA). The support group I attended was attended by all white people and staffed by two white advocates. When examining the staff picture from 2012 (Figure 2), the image depicts a white staff. When browsing the website, the image of the founding of PWCL is of a white woman (Figure 1).

Pon writes that cultural competency “shields students and social workers from the difficult work of self-reflexivity” (p. 69). Social workers would benefit from prioritizing self-knowledge, rather than trying to master and apply others’ knowledge to others. Call to Safety’s reliance on peer advocates and its large volunteer network, allows people to pull from their own experiences of sexual assault and domestic violence to support others. Perhaps an examining and changing recruitment practices and payment policies for volunteers would expand Call to Safety’s ability to serve Portland’s community of survivors. Also, examining the demographics of current volunteers might illuminate who feels included and knowledgeable in the community and who still goes unseen.

References

Call to Safety. (2016). Survivor-Led Evaluation. Portland.

Call to Safety. (2017). Year-End Stakeholder Report. Portland.

D. (2018, Feb. 6). (O. Korol, Interviewer)

Ferlander, S. (2007). The Importance of Different Forms of Social Capital for Health. Acta Sociologica, 115 - 128.

Ginelle, L. (2014, March 19). Portland Women’s Crisis Line: Not Just for Women, Not Just a Line. Retrieved from PQ Monthly: http://www.pqmonthly.com/portland-womens-crisis-line-just-women-just-line/18908

hooks, b. (2000). Feminism is for Everybody. Cambridge, MA: South End Press.

Ingram, H., & Schneider, A. (1993). Social construction of target populations: implications for politics and policy. American Political Science Review, 334+.

Nickels, R. (2014, July 29). Creating and Anti-Racist Organization. Retrieved from Washington Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs: http://www.wcsap.org/creating-anti-racist-organization

Pon, G. (2009). Cultural Competency as New Racism. Journal of Progressive Human Services, 20:1, 59-71.

Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN). (2018, Feb. 11). Victims of Sexual Violence: Statistics. Retrieved from RAINN: https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence

Figures

Fig. 1. Image from History webpage on Call to Safety website.

Fig. 2. 2012 image used in 2014 article by PQ monthly http://www.pqmonthly.com/portland-womens-crisis-line-just-women-just-line/18908.

To treat or not to treat: Are those the only options?

2012-03-25T13:14:00.003-04:00

On Thursday, Sept. 8, 2011 two members of the Lake Pend Oreille Waterkeeper and two curious passengers set out to observe the application of the liquid aquatic herbicide Triclopyr 3 in the Ellisport Bay area of Lake Pend Oreille.

The treatment of 33 acres included marina facilities and was part of an ongoing effort by the Idaho State Department of Agriculture (ISDA) to control the invasive aquatic population of Eurasian Watermilfoil, which was discovered in the Pend Oreille River and lake during an aquatic survey conducted by the ISDA in 2005.

The plant, which has a tendency to wrap poor swimmers in its embrace, forms dangerous monocultures by out-competing native species for oxygen and light. Its rapid growth lowers oxygen levels, forcing fish out of the area, and it also releases low level toxins to protect itself against invertebrates, shrinking one of the key populations of many food chains in the region.

“A vast majority of land owners want the weeds treated,” said Brad Bluemer, Weed Superintendent of the Bonner County Noxious Weed Department, though exactly how to combat the invasive species has been a subject of controversy for years.

After the discovery of Eurasian Milfoil in the lake, bills were quickly pushed through both the Idaho Governor’s office and the state Legislature, and in April 2006 $4 million was allocated over a two-year period to eradicate the invasive species. In 2007 a similar bill was passed that approved an additional $4 million over another two years.

Lake Pend Oreille has four native vascular plants in the lake: Chara, Coontail, Elodea and Northern Watermilfoil. In a post-treatment study conducted by the Mississippi State University in 2007, researchers warned that because the native species of watermilfoil closely resembles the invasive species, management techniques may be deployed on the wrong species or in the wrong area.

“Therefore,” wrote Drs. John D. Madsen and Ryan M. Wersal, “it is imperative to have trained persons verify plant identifications.”

They emphasized training in close visual identifications for all contractors, looking at the plants “in the hand versus in the water column.”

Money is the biggest determining factor in which contractor has been hired and the methodology of their control programs.

Aquatechnex, a company with branches up and down the West Coast, has been the primary applicator of herbicides targeting Eurasian Milfoil in Lake Pend Oreille and the Pend Oreille River. The work carries a hefty price tag – the cost of the 2006 herbicide treatments came to more than $2.2 million. Five years on, and herbicide treatments are still being administered.

After conducting mapping projects in 2005 with grants from the ISDA, in 2006 Aquatechnex treated 3,832 acres – more than 90 miles of shoreline and over a third of the lake’s surface area – with four different herbicides.

Although Aquatechnex claims the milfoil population has decreased to 11 percent of its original size, the post-treatment study conducted by Mississippi State University found the 2006 treatments to be relatively ineffective. Only the Triclopyr treatments had significant results; out of the 3,832 acres they were only used on 598 acres.

The Floridone treatments and diver harvesting, meanwhile, did not affect the milfoil population size.

According to Brad Bluemer from the Noxious Weeds Department, the ISDA has taken over the decision-making and management roles this year. Aquatechnex was ultimately contracted again to treat a large portion of the lake, this time with Triclopyr 3 only.

Triclopyr 3 is an aquatic form of 2, 4-Dichlorophenocyactic acid, or 2-4D for short. The most widely used herbicide in the world, 2-4D targets broad leafed, woody plants like Eurasian Milfoil, and does not disturb natural grass growth. The synthetic chemical enters the plants’ leaves under the guise of plant hormone and gives fast growing weeds a taste of their own medicine.

It speeds them up, in other words, causing uncontrolled, unsustainable growth. The plant makes a short lived burst towards the sun and the glittering surface of water above and then, suddenly, old age hits: the stem curls over, the leaf withers and the plant dies.

In areas with large amounts of decomposing milfoil the water can become oxygen depleted, threatening fish and other organisms.

This year, because of the high spring flows and cold water temperatures the treatment area was decreased as most milfoil growth was between 6 feet and 8 feet below the water’s surface. One area still received treatment: 33 acres of high use nearshore waters in Ellisport Bay. At about $140 per acre, Aquatechnex cost the ISDA under $5,000.

“I think it was a good decision,” said Terri McNabb, aquatic biologist and project manager at Aquatechnex. “The treatment will be more effective if they wait till next year.”

At the Holiday Shores Resort Marina and Café in East Hope, Joy and other Hope residents sat on the porch and watched as Aquatechnex treated the marina.

“I think it’s good cause they’re getting rid of [the milfoil],” said Joy. “Honestly, I haven’t heard of anyone against it.”

Brad Bluemer of the Noxious Weed Department admits that there are some in the area against the use of herbicides in the lake. “But most of them are not taxpayers,” he said. “They are renters, or people that don’t stay in the area long.”

There are many opposed to the herbicide treatments, however, like Bob Mckeon, a long-term Sandpoint resident and taxpayer, is adamantly against the herbicide applications.

“It really pisses me off,” he said, shaking his head as he served an Eichardt’s patron a drink. “They spray herbicides on the sides of the highways, on saplings for planting and now in the lake!”

On Thursday, Aquatechnex’s boat slowly made its way through the marina, releasing Triclopyr 3 through four adjustable length hoses. Studies have shown it to be practically non-toxic to fish and birds. The molecule breaks down within 28 hours, bonding to water molecules and slowly disintegrating into smaller, different molecules. But it does irritate the eyes and skin. The Aquatechnex employee wore gloves and mask and notices warning against drinking the water were posted around the marina and handed out to residents.

At one point an observer dropped a depth gauge into the water and asked one of the Aquatechnex applicators what reading they were showing.

Sarcasm evident, he replied: “Uhh… depth-y.”

Jennifer Ekstrom of Sandpoint’s Waterkeeper branch later explained the concern with depth monitoring, “With the varying depths that we measured, from seven feet deep to more than 50 feet deep, it would require a significant alteration of the amount of herbicides that need to be used. Based on the questions we asked and the answers we received it appeared there wasn’t that level of detail being addressed.”

To have a maximum effect on milfoil, the concentrations of the herbicide must reach 2 ppm. This concentration is affected by the quantity of herbicide released and the volume of water in the area. If not enough herbicide is released, the milfoil will go unaffected.

“The label requirements are in place to make sure that herbicides are used appropriately,” continued Ekstrom. “If the label requirements are not being followed, then it raises concerns about the practices that the herbicide applicator is using.”

Chemicals, of course, are not the only option for treating Lake Pend Oreille’s Milfoil infestation. Aquatechnex acknowledges the alternatives to herbicides on its website – aquatic weevils, the Triploid grass carp and mechanical harvesting – but claims that in such a large lake herbicides are the only viable option.

The aquatic weevil, an idea that originated at the University of Vermont for Lake Champlain, has been shown to reduce and control milfoil populations in the cyclical manner that occurs in natural predator-prey relationships. As the milfoil population decreases, the weevil runs out of food and also decreases in population, thus allowing the milfoil to bloom again, beginning the pattern all over.

Jennifer Ekstrom took the initiative to visit Boise last month to talk about the weevil program with ISDA.

“At this point they seem open to that idea,” she said.

Although Aquatechnex refutes the effectiveness of weevils due to the cyclical relationship, this bloom and bust cycle can also occur with the herbicide treatments.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if next year there was a growth in the milfoil population, since the treatment area was so small this year,” admitted Terri McNabb, from Aquatechnex,

A couple of guys in the Beyond Hope Bar summed up the most common attitude toward herbicides in the area: “If it’s done correctly,” said one, “it’s a great thing.”

“The milfoil would kill everything anyways,” agreed the other.

“I wish I knew more about it,” said the first.

In the Strategic Plan for the Management of Aquatic Invasive Species, written by the Aquatic Invasive Species Task Force, one of the objectives listed is developing and implementing public education strategies. A public opinion survey on perceptions, attitudes and knowledge concerning invasive species in the lake was suggested, though according to Brad Bluemer no such action has yet been taken.

Such a survey would allow the Task Force to better represent the desires and opinions of those in communities surrounding the lake, and perhaps allow the quick reaction to the appearance of milfoil to evolve into a long-term and locally sustainable program.

“We’re really hopeful that we’ll have the opportunity to work with ISDA in the future to create a framework that would allow for research such as utilizing the native weevils,” said Ekstrom, emphasizing the collaboration that has already begun between local management groups and the ISDA.

“This is part of the story the county is trying to evaluate,” said Bluemer. “Do you use the lake? Who should have the say on this issue? Personally, I think it should be the property owners.”

Car-less in Sandpoint Or ‘The Guide to Practical Recreation’

2012-03-24T17:16:00.001-04:00

In a town that was founded at the turn of the century, a time when automobiles first began to determine the infrastructure of the United States, I assumed that to live a happy and meaningful life in Sandpoint I would need an engine at my fingertips and wheels under my feet.

Due to gas prices and the initial cost of a car, though, it has been over a year since I arrived and still I have no engine-powered vehicle. Rather, I have discovered other modes of transportation.

I call them “practical recreation.” They combine all the pros of recreation – exercise, socializing, time in nature, contemplation, relaxation, the occasional mental and physical challenge – with the mundane tasks of modern living – grocery shopping, going to work, yard sale-ing, etc. Surprisingly, Sandpoint is the perfect western town for going car-less.

Recently, the entirely free Selkirk-Pend Oreille Transit bus (SPOT) began making its rounds.

I was introduced to the colorful vehicle this past weekend, apparently the weekend of antiquing. I bought a large, heavy, desk chair – probably made in the ’50s – which I justified buying due to its sturdiness. I didn’t really consider how I would get it home.

I briefly pictured myself pushing it through town and offering rides for a buck, but instead I rolled it a mere three blocks to the SPOT stop.

Struggling to board the bus with groceries, mail and the even-heavier-than-it-first-appeared chair, a man reached down and lifted it right out of my hands. Looking up, I gratefully laid eyes upon the merciful and kind face of Norm, an 81-year-old regular SPOTer.

He laughed when I said, “Yardsale-ing isn’t so bad without a car. That is, until you buy something.” He agreed, admitting that he had a vehicle for such occasions. Still sweaty from my three blocks with the wooden block of seating, I asked him, pointedly, why he would ever prefer the bus. His smile momentarily disappeared as he seriously considered the question.

“For relaxation,” he said finally. “I’m 81 years old. I’ve been driving for a long time. It gets tiring. The bus is relaxing. I get to meet people, go around town, you know.”

The smile reappeared, and satisfied by his answer, our conversation turned toward other topics: how long I’d been in Sandpoint, where I was from, his illegal Rockport lobster trapping back in the day…

According to the bus driver, Norm parks his car at Wal-Mart or the Bonner Mall, then hops on SPOT to do his business downtown.

For the town dweller, though, the challenge is getting out of town. I, like Norm and his SPOT bus, have discovered my preferred mode of transportation: kayaking.

After Safeway failed to provide a staple of my kitchen, lentils, I decided to borrow my housemate’s kayak and paddle up Sand Creek to Yoke’s, the beacon of lentil light.

I realize that most car-less folks do not have kayaks, nor do they live on a convenient waterway that leads them directly to a grocery store; but, what I am trying to show here is that limitations cause ingenuity.

Due to my lack of wheels, I was forced to look around for another mode of transportation and route – one which happened to be much more fun than the usual car and highway.

The adventure began peacefully. The water lapped at my fiberglass sides. The paddles made small splashing noises, accompanied by the various sounds of fish jumping and curious ducks suddenly diving.

I paddled beside the highway – actually speeding ahead of a small traffic jam – then beneath the trestle. Behind me I heard the distant hoot of the train, preparing for its own rhythmic crossing.

I’ve always found that going by boat exposes the backsides of towns; the places where history touched the river, then turned away. Rivers are often how people first arrive at a place, but once roads are built and the pavement spreads, we forget the water’s historic role. We notice only the signs and the parking lots, the spaces where our car might fit.

Sand Creek passes beneath two trestles, one road and one highway before it reaches Ponderay’s Bonner Mall. Two women saw me paddling along and called out, “Beautiful day for kayaking!” I agreed, then explained I was actually grocery shopping. They looked at me like they hadn’t heard. “At Yoke’s,” I motioned up the hill. Then they looked at me like I was crazy and went back to their paddling.

To me it’s strange that a perfect day for paddling is not a more perfect day for paddling to Yoke’s.

I left my kayak in some bushes across from the Co-Op and bushwhacked up the hill, receiving a few good scratches, but the real challenge presented itself at the top of the hill: the highway.

Mustering the courage to dart out during a lull in traffic, I was met by some woman’s audacious honking. I wanted to shout, “Try walking, bitch!” but then imagined others watching, maybe even Norm, grinning at my insanity as he sped by on bus, enjoying the sights and sounds of his own relaxing ride.

The final episode of the kayaking adventure brought me down the wrong hill with a backpack full of groceries. I found myself wading downstream, holding backpack and sandals over my heading as I sank knee deep into mud and cattail roots. As you can imagine, a bunch of bushes is not as easy to distinguish as a car, and wading through a river is not as grocery-friendly as walking around a parking lot. So I abandoned the backpack and shoes, succumbing to my chosen fate, and dove into the water. The cool, dark water filled me with a delightful and slightly giddy feeling of liberation.

Luckily for my housemate I found the kayak and luckily for my growling stomach I also found my groceries – and then my glasses, which I had left sitting on a bird nesting site in the middle of the creek.

In a couple months I’ll unfortunately have to pack up the kayak, but SPOT route director Marion Johnson recently boosted my confidence in car-less winter travels. She revealed that plans for a Schweitzer base stop are under development.

“We’re working on it,” Johnson said, serious determination in her voice. “It’s not a reality yet, but job access is a requirement for our funding and Schweitzer is the largest area employer in the winter.”

She also mentioned that the bus route itself has provided 11 new jobs in the area and plans of expansion are always on the horizon.

“First, though,” she said laughing, “we’ve got to get a year under our belt.”

The SPOT route began as a dream of P. “Randy” Curless, the current mayor of Dover.

“He wanted to do something for the townspeople,” explained Johnson.

The idea expanded to a four-city partnership and the buses have been running since June.

“We’ve averaged 900 rides a week,” Johnson added. “The need for the service in our communities is beyond what we anticipated.”

Jared Meaux, another SPOT regular I met with my chair, was eager to praise the bus.

“I ride the bus every day,” he said proudly, “and it’s never been late. I’m 20 years old and don’t have my license; having the bus is really convenient when you need to go from downtown to the library and the drivers are all really friendly.”

He knew the timing of the bus stops so well he hopped out for a five minute smoke at Oak and Third Ave. – the downtown Sandpoint stop.

“We took a lot of kids to the beach this summer,” said Johnson. “Saved mom and dad gas.”

Sandpoint looks as though it will only get more pedestrian friendly. And for the long distance commuter, there’s Amtrak. As the only stop in Idaho, Amtrak’s Sandpoint stop offers escape to both the east and the west – all the way to the Pacific and Atlantic coasts.

Although the timing is designed for night owls and outlaws – eastbound at 2 a.m., westbound at midnight – Sandpoint has more car-less transportation options than any other town in Idaho – and most towns in the Pacific Northwest. Heading north or south from Sandpoint proves a bit trickier, but I was able to find a ride at last minute’s notice to the Bay Area of California on Craigslist.

Transportation without a car is often more time consuming, but saves money and, some would say, the environment. It is also an activity in itself, rather than a means to an end. My limitation – no car – has forced me to meet people, explore new parts of town, and go on adventures when normally I would have just been doing chores.

I encourage everyone to practice some modern day fasting. Whether it’s turning off the Internet for a weekend or unplugging the refrigerator, I’m sure it will open your eyes to new—or old—perspectives. But don’t forget to have a little fun while you’re at it!

Gliding silently beneath a traffic jam, I can’t help but think: “Haha! Suckers!”

Pervert and Other Short Stories: Treena's Baby's Baby is Pregnant!

2009-11-06T10:31:00.012-05:00

Two months ago, an individual under the screen name of Treena, asked Yahoo! Answers, "Can your baby get pregnant if you have sex while pregnant? like if you are pregnant with a baby girl, and you have sex while you are pregnant, can the sperm go up in there and impregnate the baby?" (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090922014626AAqNCZa).

As one of the responders pointed out, this person (or persons) had obviously missed some essential information in sex ed and high school biology class. The most popular answer to this question, though, was not a serious explanation of the biological impossibility of this scenario, but rather this answer:

"The baby can get pregnant only if it's a female. If you suspect that your baby is pregnant, try not to have sex again. You run the risk of getting your baby's baby pregnant and that can lead to complications like an infinite loop."

This post received 12% percent of viewers' votes, though in my opinion it is far from the best answer. Other over-the-top, sarcastic responses included "double abortions" of the fetus within the fetus in order to prevent a double birth. And my favorite: "It can get pregnant. When this happens - the baby doesn't get born the natural way. It will eject out of your stomach (or sometimes out of your chest).... If you've ever seen the movie Aliens - its a bit like that. Its called a cesarean gastro birth. Ask your doctor about it. That's why you sometimes see women with huge scars up their stomachs. Its where the skin split and the baby ejected from."

Projectile births are terrifying; possibly scary enough to keep people using protection.

Only one responder gave a truthful answer with scientific explanation and an added piece of advice that Treena should keep using protection because STIs could still be transmitted when pregnant.

This "resolved issue" (as labeled by Yahoo! Answers), that unborn children can get pregnant, leaves me wondering about the actual beliefs of the questioner and the responders. All of the responders, whether they responded with sincere truthfullness or over-the-top sarcasm,

seemed to understand the inconceivability of this in utero conception. But what about the questioner? Had her question stemmed from true ignorance about the natural processes of her body? And which answers did she believe? Did she pick up on the sarcasm, understanding the outrageous stupidity of her question? Finally, was her question actually stupid?

In fact, Treena's question and her responders' humorous answers display real, American fear for the birth process, and with good cause. In reality, 1 in 3 American mothers don't give birth in "the natural way;" they have C-sections (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8325685.stm). According to the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) and the World Health Organization (WHO) , 500 out of 4 million American women die every year during childbirth or from pregnancy-related complications. And we still spend, by far, the most money on mothers' health than any other nation.

In an article for the BBC, Dr. Michael Lu of UCLA cited obesity, poverty and the high rate of C-sections as factors in the U.S. maternal mortality rate. He also noted that 17 million women of child-bearing age go without health insurance.

Dr. Bill McCool of the UPenn School of Nursing said, "Surgery of any kind has risk," and a C-section is, "still the riskiest way to have a baby. Yet, the U.S. has an average of 33% C-section births versus WHO's goal of a 15%.

There may be no projectile babies, but there is still cause for fear, a lot of ignorance surrounding our bodies, and, often, uninsured risk with childbirth.

Speaking with an Australian nurse a few months ago, she told me that C-sections were one of her most common surgeries.

"Yeah, you have to wear rubber boots in there," she said. "Once you cut open the womb there's just tons of water or whatever it is. It's extremely messy. We have buckets to try and catch a lot of it."

I also found out that they often listen to classical music during the operation. I didn't ask if they ever brought in umbrellas to accompany their rainboots and put on "Singin' in the Rain."

Most of us know that as appealingly messy sex may be, birth is its unappealing cousin. Most of us also know, though, that a growing fetus does not have mature sex organs for impregnation and so no "infinite loop" of pregnancies can occur.

I'd like to think that we can all make educated choices about our bodies and our lives. But without proper information and healthcare this becomes impossible, and we start looking to our peers for answers. And the truth is, how do we ever, actually know that a fetus won't somehow get pregnant? How do we know that our squirming baby under our skin won't somehow come popping out of our chests? Stranger things have happened, and hearing about an actual C-section sounds scary enough as is.

So perhaps the truth lies not in the scientific explanation for why the "natural process" prevents mothering and grandmothering multiple babies at the same time, but rather the truth is better found in the exagerrated scenarios of what such a biological process might look like. The grotesque qualities scare and a reassure at the same time--thank God my body doesn't work like that--turning monsters into a deflated joke.

Sexymamatime wrote in response to Treena, "I had sex with a pregnant chick yesterday and her baby boy got pregnant with twins. the twins then had sex inside the first baby causing one of the twins to have quadruplets. the quadruplets all had an orgy and two of them are now pregnant with octuplets. This chick is going to be a mother in 9 weeks, grandmother in 9 months, a great-grandmother in 10 month, and a great-great grandmother in 11 months. The best part is that she's only 19. By the way, the only thing wrong with this form of baby birth is that now all the children will come out with webbed toes,wings, and huge sexual organs."

Having one kid is scary; but at least it's just one.

W(right): Short sentences, little thoughts?

2009-11-02T23:33:00.005-05:00

As I am currently one of the two Ford Fellows in the Wesleyan Writing Program, I have decided to add a new category of posts:
W(right).
As the title suggests, these will examine writing.

Yes, the layers are endless: A blog of writing about how to write a blog on writing online. It's not as bad as the class I teach, the Ford Teaching Seminar, in which we read, talk, and write about how to teach writing through tutoring sessions in which you read, talk, and write with another human being about their writing. Of course, it's rarely the writing that's the hard part, but rather the human being.

My co-worker has begun to formulate a theory (based on his own observations and those of a published and well-read author whose name I am forgetting) that we currently use shorter, more terse sentences than we did, say, fifty years ago. The book blames many emergent media forms for this devolution of language, but film noir stands out as one of his boldest examples of a popular art form that popularized the abrupt, biting sentence.

The dialogue rhythm matches the graphic imagery and editing of the genre: dark, mysterious, and aggressive. The short sentence is an aggressor. The missing details provoke curiosity, for they most likely hide a dark secret. (Halloween's over, or I might make a Zombie joke here.)

So maybe film noir contributed to how people (in the US) began to communicate. People stopped feeling obliged to say everything on their minds all at once in one long, complex, and possibly confusing sentence. Instead, they began to construct their identities by hiding some of their thoughts, by using the short sentence as a weapon, as a tool for self preservation.

A tight close up of a man with a hat pulled half over his face. He's smoking. Cut to wider angle: backlit alley fades into darkness on a diagonal. He is leaning against a wall. Other shadowed figure walks up behind him. Cut to medium shot of both men, shadows dividing faces and men.

Man 2: You got a light?
Man 1: And what if I did?

Man 2 punches Man 1 and fight ensues. Man 1 wins. Both have raspy but also somewhat nasally voices.

Many writers, and people who teach writing, do not see short sentences as guardian angels. Rather, they view them as jail cells. Not being able to write long, detailed, syntactically complex, and well-timed sentences limits people to the more simple constructions of the Noir-style dialogue, and therefore perhaps also limits people to simple thoughts, or at least the communication of simple concepts.

Let's return to the example above. If Man 2 had communicated everything on his mind, he might have said something like this:

Man 2: I'm supposed to do a deal with a fellow, but I'm not sure if you're him or not, so if you could just say something or maybe turn your head towards the light a little more so I could see you, that'd be great. Because if you're not the man, I'm gonna have to beat you up.

Man 1: (Pulls gun out of pocket). So you're the bad guy I'm supposed to kill.

Man 2: I was hoping that you'd be the right man and we could just share a smoke together, but I guess you can just have the rest of my pack. It's in my shirt pocket.

Man 1 shoots Man 2 in the right knee cap, calls the cops, and then shares a smoke with Man 2.

The long, truthful sentence obviously doesn't work to anyone's advantage in the scene because it monopolizes the screen and kills whatever tension the actors create through their body language and movement. Often, in visual art forms, to say less is to say more. But can we really apply this to textual language, or are we just locking ourselves in that jail cell of simplicity?

A couple months ago, my father happened to be flipping through the first pages of the last Harry Potter book, which he had never before laid eyes upon (despite the many copies that have floated about his house for over ten years now).

"Read this," he said, "It's like a movie!"

I, of course, had already read it, but had not noticed the absence of a human narrator. Rowling set the scene like she was a screenwriter describing a movie set. The audience zooms in on details, zooms out. The narrator is not only omniscient, but it is fluid, changing, not only directing but following the glance of the reader. Where do you want to look next? What angle can I best show it at? It is instant gratification writing. And maybe that's what short sentences do too (which Rowling also employs heavily.) They give it to you. They give it to you quickly. And then they give you a little break (so you can check your email.)

Whether the short sentence is ruining your attention span, allowing you to decieve me more easily, or adding to the tension and therefore reality in your writing, the words remain an approximation of thought. And yet, words are the only way you can prove that you're actually thinking up there (meaning, in your head, not in Heaven).

So choose your words wisely and your sentence lengths carefully; bigger is not always better. Or is it?

Chaotic Tendencies: Capitalist Ventures in Outer Space

2009-10-28T21:36:00.006-04:00

Dear fans, followers, enemies, parents, friends, ex-lovers, and (hopefully?) future friends, lovers, children, and enemies, I am very sorry that I have not written for eight days. That's over a week of unexpressed and therefore confusing thoughts roaming about inside of my head.

Instead of writing, I have spent the past week attempting to attract new writers to this blog. Apparently, it's a harder task than it would first appear.

Please contact me if interested in a job as a blogger for LOSTNFOUND. I want different, unique voices to contrast with my own sharp, biting one. Recommended three to five years of experience and a bachelors degree taboot, but I will consider all applications if they are submitted on pink, rain-scented paper.

Really, though, we all know that any move I make is a selfish one. I want other writers to motivate my own improvement! How can I be the best, when I'm the only one?

In other words, for this blog to succeed, I believe it must become a capitalist venture. There must be competition and collaboration. Steal my idea and I'll just come up with a better one!

Similarly, Google and The X Prize also believe that capitalism will save our future, or if not save it, at least drastically change it. On September 13th, 2007 these two collaborators announced the Lunar X Prize (www.googlelunarxprize.org), now often referred to as Moon 2.0, at the Wired Nextfest (www.wired.com). It is the ultimate competition, a competition where the winner will not only win 30 million dollars, but will also gain the respect of retired astronauts, the hate of old Russian Communist spies, and cheers from all over the world; it is a SPACE COMPETITION.

The winning team must be 90% privately funded and send a robot to the surface of the Moon. There, a rover must be able to" travel 500 meters over the lunar surface and send images and data back to Earth" (http://www.googlelunarxprize.org/lunar/about-the-prize). It reminds me of a Tech Ed school assignment: Can you drop this egg off the table and have it not crack? Can you send a robot into space and have it take pictures of Aliens?

Perhaps Larry Page and Sergey Brin are part of the 6% of Americans who do not believe the Apollo mission actually happened (Statistics from Bad Astronomy: Misconceptions and Misuses Revealed, from Astrology to the Moon Landing "Hoax.") Some have claimed that the whole event was a hoax, made possible by film and movie sets. This may motivate the competition's extra 5 million dollar bonus for finding and imaging "man made artifacts (e.g. Apollo hardware)".

There are many of these 5 million dollar bonuses, including, "roving longer distances (> 5,000 meters)... discovering water ice, and/or surviving through a frigid lunar night (approximately 14.5 Earth days)."

In the commissioned video directed by Philip J. Day, there is a wonderful scene in which a competing team puts their robot down for the night, and one female member says, "It's gonna be a long lunar night." Their brows are furroughed, the screen fuzzes out, and they wait until the sun reaches their little rover again. We see the shadow passing over the face of the moon, and then a man speaks, "Rise and shine people, rover is powered up and back in action." Everyone is relieved and... sleepy? It's almost as though they and not their rover had just spent two weeks freezing their asses off; they clap madly as the sun crests the lunar horizon.

I can only guess at why Google wants to provoke privately funded space missions. They claim that until recently, space was unfairly off limits to the public. Maybe Larry Page and Sergey Brin are both die-hard Trekkies. Or maybe, they're just living up to Google's mission statement: "To organize the world's information and make it universally accessible and useful." Maybe space is just the next frontier for them. Instead of a Silicon Valley, there will be a Silicon Moon. In fact, they say in their introductory video that the moon's crust is predominantly made of the element silicon. I hear real estate is cheap and I'm pretty sure mining laws don't exist.

Whatever the motivation, the competition suggests that they truly believe in capitalism (not state-funded socialism) as the best way to create reliable, economically feasible modes of space travel.

And the teams are fierce. Currently there are 21 teams, my favorite being the last one to join: C-Base Open Moon. Pictures show them having a beer while discussing their latest model. They originated at "the c-base," as they call it, "a well known hacker-space in the former east side of Berlin, not far away from the place, where a certain Wernher von Braun and his colleagues made their first rocket experiments." Apparently, it has always "been a collecting point for all kind of technologically fascinated and versatile people, like computer specialists with a soft spot for science fiction or hardware hackers who loved to solder their antennas themselves." Though the team is a hodgepodge of geeks up against such academics as Dr. Red Whittaker of Carnegie Mellon University who created Astrobotic Technology Inc., the leader of C-Base Open Moon, Neven Dolos, claims, "We've got the internet, we've got global communication and information exchange – within seconds... Everything we do we're doing in front of the eyes of the world, and so this is not only a game for the richer part of our societies." It is our game! And it is Google's!

So maybe this is Google's motivation; there can be no public space travel without the internet, without the search engine. We cannot roam about space without first consulting Google Maps of Space.

So unless you're writing for my blog, get out there and start competing! The frontier is only as far away as you imagine it.

The competition ends December 31, 2012. May the best team win (cough cough C-Base Open Moon.)

Other (with a capital O): WHY AM I SICK AGAIN??

2009-10-22T11:16:00.000-04:00

This time it's not just a sore throat and a cough, it's a sharp stitch-like pain below my ribs. It feels like I've just finished running a marathon, when really I've just been sleeping or sitting here or drinking tea! And I'm not the only one. At least 4 of my friends have reported similar symptoms. One was consulted by a doctor who suggested that it the pain was probably caused by a congestion of the lungs.

But "Probably a congestion of lungs," just doesn't cut it. Why don't doctors have answers anymore?? Get out some fancy new technology and get in there, get in my lungs! Is it or isn't it a congestion? Or at least get out the leeches. My blood has gone bad!

In response to these new viral attacks people should be taking precautions, but the thing is we're not.

Netdoctor.co.uk reports that people are not washing their hands more, that we're "complacent" (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/interactive/news/theme_news_detail.php?id=19412670&tab_id=165). In fact, British health officials are being forced to "shame" people into washing their hands. They have found that the most effective incentive to wash your hands are messages flashed on LCD screens in bathrooms such as "Is the person next to you washing with soap," "Water doesn't kill germs, soap does," and "Don't be a dirty soap dodger" (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/interactive/news/theme_news_detail.php?id=19410519&tab_id=165). This study also showed that while 64% women washed their hands, only 32% of men did so. I wonder how the percentages would break down for college students?

Maybe that's why I keep getting sick; college students are negligent, risk-taking people, who want to get sick so they don't have to go to class.

Or maybe it's because at Wesleyan we come from all over. An old article from Science and Health (http://www.newser.com/story/24789/asia-unique-in-geography-of-flu-outbreaks.html) claimed that new strains of influenza emerge from Asia and spred to the temperate, Western parts of the world. (And of course the media would jump all over this; don't just keep out the Mexicans, get rid of the Asians too!) They rationalize that "in Asia, different climates are so close together, that influenza moves through the region 'like a baton … in a relay race.'" These different "climates," though, also seem to be popping up on our very own east coast.

This summer brought record rainfall. My father was constantly fighting to keep our grass from turning into a jungle. Also, the temperatures keep rising and falling. Last week we went from below freezing temperatures, rain, and even a little snow, to a gorgeous, spring-like day. With global warming, the East Coast should continue to see wet summers, variable temperatures, and most likely, more new strains of influenza.

I don't want to scare you, but we all need to be ready, especially of one strain produces ZOMBIES.

I'll leave you with a link to a song recently sent to me after my post on "Zombieland". It's "My Body's a Zombie for You" by Dead Man's Bones: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=to7PxdyEdDw.

Now, for some more vitamin C and a nap.

Pervert and Other Short Stories: The Blue Rose

2009-10-22T08:46:00.000-04:00

After 20 years of research, genetic engineering has finally produced the previously unattainable Blue Rose. Flower shops in Japan are preparing for this "natural" wonder (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8318511.stm).

In the past, horticulturists have organically bred a grayish mauve rose, which they called "The Blue Rose," and others have taken to dying petals blue, but this too produces the not-quite-blue-color. By splicing the Petunia gene, which leads to the synthesis of the blue pigment Delphinidin, the Australian biotech company Florigene has created the hottest thing on the new genetic black market.

The flowers are only to be sold in Japan, as many other countries have bans on genetically modified plants. I'm guessing, though, that the flower will at least penetrate China who, according to the BBC, has a Chinese folk tale where "the blue rose signifies hope against unattainable love."

I'm excited for this emergent underground market of unacceptable organisms; I'll be waiting for my blue rose.

Other (with a capital O): Why is Slow-Motion so EPIC?

2009-10-21T19:28:00.000-04:00

The other night my Riot Grrl cover band and I were attempting to transform the last song of our set from a hard-core, punk, body-thrashing accompaniment into a state of transcendent rapture. In other words, we wanted it to be really epic. We finally approached the sound, not by playing faster, louder or more shrill, but by suddenly having the bass play whole notes, elongating the rhythm to almost twice its previous length. We slowed down to transcend.

One of my favorite time signature switches occurs in Arcade Fire's Neighborhood #4 (Seven Kettles) when the song changes from a triplet laden, waltzy feel into a straight 2/4 time driven by the strings. The notes in the second section are actually slower, but the section feels faster, more powerful, more energetic, more epic.

We don't often pay attention to time manipulation in music, but in visuals it's much more obvious. Even if a kid doesn't have a camera (or phone) with a "Slow-mo," it's a given that at some point there will be an (over)acted slow-motion moment(s) in their life in which they yell, "Noooooooooooooooo....". To view some of the most popular slow-mo amateur videos, type "epic slow motion" into google and you will get such video results as Sneezing in Ultra Slow Motion (http://www.eguiders.com/video/sneezing-in-ultra-slow-motion-epic), an Epic Movie in which "Peter uses a magic slow-motion remote to watch a big-breasted woman run,", and epic fat clip with SLOW MOTION Video (capitalization from original source.)

How do such common place actions as sneezing and running become novel, entertaining attractions when slowed down?

Even the best movie pictures--no offense Peter, but your Epic Movie doesn't really compare to Transformers (2007) or Star Trek (2009)--resort to slow motion for inspiring awe and connoting the grandiose. Time is used to represent size. Transformers are HUGE, as are space ships, and especially SPACE. In many Star Trek sequences the film cuts from the heat of the action where there's an overload of loud explosions and flying things, to one, long, silent, slow shot of the last moments of destruction in space, as though the audience is actually watching from space.

And that's the truth of slow motion; big things move slowly.

Eclipses take all day (and they're supposedly exciting). Stars exploding or imploding, or astroids hitting each other, all that takes time. Just as our breathing is slower than a squirrel's (those things really hyperventilate--must be the nerves), a blue whale can hold its breathe for an hour. (Actually, I expected it to be longer. They are also, though, the loudest animals on earth. Louder than a jet! http://www.enchantedlearning.com/subjects/whales/species/Bluewhale.shtml). From our perspective, the motion of the planets seem slow, a hummingbird's wings appear fast. But to that hummingbird, we probably seem slow, and definitely ugly.

Speeding up or slowing down motion offers the audience a new perspective. In Star Trek we see the action scenes from space. On the Discovery Channel we see hummingbirds as a hummingbird might see hummingbirds. In Remember the Titans we see football players also from the hummingbird perspective. Well, there are probably not many hummingbirds on football fields, but this brings us to the most exciting aspect of slow motion:

Slow motion transforms the subject.

It makes the subject larger than life by, literally, making it slower than life. In Remember the Titans, the football players move at the rates of giant orbiting planets; they hit each other like astroids. In slow motion, the football players are no longer playing football, they are huge forces playing at the game of morality, and like the Greek Gods (who would have also been represented in slow motion had the Greeks been as smart as us and developed film), the actors in the film are granted the god-like authority to sway our intellect and our hearts. All this trust just because the editor slowed them down.

So next time you feel late, or you find yourself rushing to class, work, or a date, just remember:

Slowmotion is epic.

Slow down, breathe like a whale, and act like giant planet.

Pervert and Other Short Stories: TRANSlation (TransNation?)

2009-10-19T13:28:00.000-04:00

This coming weekend, many of my friends are attending the “Translating Identity Conference” at UVM, which focuses on “transgender communities and gender identities” through “multiple sessions and workshops... some will be directed specifically towards trans-identified people, while others will be for families, friends, and lovers of trans persons” (www.uvm.edu/~tic/).

When asked if I wanted to attend, I replied, “I don’t care about Trans-issues.”

This, of course, was taken as a joke, or at least written off as me being in a bad mood. But, rethinking this comment, it’s not only dismissive of my friends’ identities and efforts, but it also reflects the general reaction to Trans-issues, even within many queer communities.

So why don’t I care about gender identity issues, and why should I?

My first aversions to gender bending are my current constraints on money and time. With my money going towards college loans and my job choices confined by healthcare options, my last priority is thinking about funding sex change operations. The only operation I’ve seriously considered is Lasik, but unfortunately they told me my eyes couldn’t be helped, and Lasik would probably just make them worse.

But why is Lasik seen as a more acceptable way to spend money than a mastectomy (a removal of the breasts)?

I could easily wear glasses or contacts, and a lifetime of the former is probably still cheaper than eye surgery. Similarly, a transman could bind down his breasts and wear sweatshirts his entire life. But Lasik would grant me freedom from the daily procedures of improving my sight. No more lost glasses; no more scratches or broken side arms when I try to head a soccer ball. I could lean in for a kiss without having to decide whether I should remove them or just go for it. (Usually, I just leave my glasses at home; blind is better than awkward.)

I have many reasons for Lasik. Mostly, I don’t want to worry about being blind anymore. I just want to see like everyone else.

Similarly, transfolk may just want to be as comfortable in their bodies as everyone else.

This rationale, though, is where my biggest frustration with trans-issues sets in. Is anyone really comfortable in their body? I would argue that very few people after the ravages of puberty ever feel comfortable with anything again (except, maybe, sleep). As we grow, our bodies come to feel like an aging car: the breaks aren’t working today-something’s smoking and smells funny-damn it, the windshield keeps fogging up-what’s that noise?-is that the tailpipe dragging?

I was taught from a young age that loving your body and your self are keys to happiness. I was also taught, though, that this self love doesn’t come naturally; one must work at it. Thus, I tried to constantly remind myself of the good aspects of my body:

Strength is good, it allows you to lift things, to move fast, to help people. Who cares if men are deterred by muscular shoulders? And who wants large breasts anyway? Small ones are much more practical, sensitive, and won’t sag when you get old. And you gotta love hips; no one wants to dance like a WASP.

Through rationalization and the judgment of others’ bodies, I have come to love my own. It’s not perfect, but it’s mine. Yes, I have knee problems, but they’re my knee problems; they’re proof that I’ve run and jumped and endured extreme pain. (Well, maybe not extreme, but still...) Like all people, I believe in my own methods more than others. I don’t believe in breast implants, steroids, plastic surgery… but what about sex changes?

Are gender issues purely physical?

Watching Surrogates the other night (post in the works), I loved the extension of gender bending on the web to physical bodies in the real world. In a scifi world where people control robots from their rooms and communicate through them in the physical world, people could buy and inhabit any mechanical body they wanted. And of course, one of the first unveiled robots is a hot, young, woman who’s controlled by a fat, ugly, man.

On the web, we are all afraid of the monster behind the mask. Yet, it is not only men who dress up online, everyone inhabits a new persona; we tweak our visual and textual selves even in our “real” or “true” web representations (ie. Facebook, Linkedin, etc.). Over the web, physical sex dissolves into ideas and fantasies. Gender is not purely physical; it is social and mental as well. It accompanies us beyond our physical bodies and into the noosphere (the sphere of human thought).

So what? Do I or don’t I care about Trans-issues?

Well, I actually don’t think I have a choice. I probably spend half of my awake time online, and there, I am a transsexual. I am translating my gender identity into a non-physical space that is not confined by the limits of money and time. Changing my gender is as easy as clicking a box. Every moment I construct a gender which then instructs my interactions with other constructed selves. No one is taller online. No one has inherent masculine privilege online. The only privilege granted online is how well can you communicate? Can you write and draw?

And maybe that’s all physical gender expression is anyway, a translation of some internal state to an external expression.

Unlike my grandmother, I was raised thinking I could have any profession when I grew up. I wanted to be an astronaut, an ambulance driver, a teacher, a mom, a science fiction novelist... I also went through a phase of wanting to be a boy—mainly because they could run faster, pee standing up, and walk around without their shirts on. Now, I value my uterus and its possibilities.

If I could have any gender when I grow up, or if I could switch genders as many times as I will probably switch professions, what would I choose? Would it matter? Would the meaning of gender be lost? What does it mean anyway?

Well, I guess I haven’t resolved this issue. But if I had the time I would go to the “Translating Identity Conference,” and probably will go to a similar conference in the future. So find a conference near you, and then maybe you can answer some of my questions!

Chaotic Tendencies: LW&OB2X

2009-10-18T21:31:00.000-04:00

(Previously published at http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=428006501&blogId=509675178)

I first saw Lawrence Welks & Our Bear to Cross (LW&OB2X) in the basement of a large, wood frame house in the North End of Burlington: Vermont’s “ghetto”. Of course, like every other poor, black neighborhood in a college town, gentrification has set in. Indoor Christmas lights illuminated the bobbing, asymmetrical haircuts of the basement crowd; designs painted on the cracked and flaking plasterboard walls glimmered in the dimness; and everyone, except my friend Julia and I, seemed to be genuinely engrossed by the distortion groaning from the speakers.

“We were feeding only four tracks through a bass amp,” Andrew Mallon, one of the two members of the band, told me later, as though the muddiness of the distortion had ruined their normal sound. “You should listen to the album.”

So I did listen to Bacchanalia, as did Jarrett Berman of Burlington’s Seven Days, who reported that the “sinister feedback and freak-out vocals” waged “war on melody, turning square sounds into madhouse fringe” (http://www.7dvt.com/2009lawrence-welks-amp-our-bear-2-cross-bacchanalia). Indeed, as Mallon and Berman claim, this Atonal Grime-Pop is not muddy distortion; it is a symphony of distortion, an overwhelming oratorio of noise. Words get lost in the muck, but not the human scraping of vocal chords or the sudden keyboard generated pop beat which emerges like a stranger’s heartbeat in a dance club. Where does the mind stop and the refrigerator hum begin?

If their first title, Bacchanalia, hadn’t made their intentions clear enough, the second album arrived on my doorstep with a dedication: “to ladies (& to please ‘em) worldwide… a plea to ladies, Props to ladies! ‘Cause they really know where it’s at.” With a dedication like that, I immediately became suspicious. Two white guys from Burlington trying to appeal to women worldwide, and with what, basement Grime-Pop? Don’t worry, though, the cover art of Album 2, Lawrence Welks is for the Ladies, includes mock heartthrob shots and an inside the cover surprise: two pale, hairy asses in stockings, gender bending at its worst.

Despite these visual drawbacks, I began to sense a new form of sound arising in this second album. In my favorite song, Unsurprisingly Naked Magik Water Nymph, urgent, dark waves of sound belie Johnny Geetar’s questing voice. Like foreign opera, the emotional meaning trumps whatever linguistic division words create. There is turmoil here, like that of waves pounding, ships sinking, women crying… Perhaps LW&OB2X is not for the Ladies, but rather, is attempting to be the ladies.

Never mind the orgasmic moans and yelps in Crazy Summer Love and the oscillating wave of sound under sharp breathes at the beginning of All the Children, just their chaotic tendencies incite a feminine mystique. They are giving birth, catching their breath, and crying into the steering wheel; they are playing the sound waves of chaos. Fearless in the realm of “affective, sensual and unruly femininity” and steadfast against “the prestige of the disembodied Father,” they invoke “all maternalized chaos” (Keller, Face of the Deep: http://www.amazon.com/Face-Deep-Theology-Becoming/dp/0415256496). The rest of us are left raising our hackles in the dark, repressing our tears, and cringing at the chaotic noise LW&OB2X has created.

Despite this daring though, LW&OB2X has not yet harnessed the terrific beauty of chaos. Chaos is a pattern that only repeats at seemingly random intervals, yet it is still a pattern, an organized disorder. It creates beautiful fractal clusters; it governs weather, economics, the turbulent sea; and it sings through distortion. Live, LW&OB2X will never perform the same song twice. Yet, the vocals always tend towards melancholy and the saxophone only whines. There are attempts to break free from this angst (was that a little Latin beat in Girl, Im the One you Needed?) and when they intentionally pine in Its So Hard to Be a Man they miraculously sound like they’re repeatedly pulling the plug on Grandma. The ecstasy of Chocolate Cake is also distinct and definitely for the ladies, but so is laughter and internal calm, which they fail to explore.

They told me to “Listen loud for maximum stimulation,” but I wanted it to be more than loud; I wanted it to be, as their last song claims, Deep. The beats need more force and the silence needs length; I want to ride the beast, but the beast isn’t leaping. So come, LW&OB2X, into the black hole.

Thoughts from the Box: Zombieland

2009-10-18T12:07:00.000-04:00

Zombies have become more real and terrifying since the invention of the disease-inspired, fast zombies of “28 Days Later” and our increasing paranoia of the viral. Wasn’t it just yesterday that I went into the health center to find a new “hygiene station”: Wesleyan University’s weak attempt at stopping H1N1, ie SWINE FLU.

In Zombieland, the movie, the zombie disease originated not in swine but in cows. One bite of an infected burger and you’re a goner. Apparently, well-done or rare doesn’t make a difference. The dangers of hunger didn't stop with the infectious burger; they continued to motivate the entire plot of the film.

Zombieland opened with the first rule of obsessive compulsive survivor, Columbus: 1. Aerobic exercise. He pointed out to us that the overweight became the first meals of the infected zombies. For, to run away from zombies one needs to run. You don’t want to be another Fat Dead Bastard. The hunger theme did not end there, though. Supporting lead, Tallahassee’s only pursuit was for the last Twinky. “They do have an expiration date,” he reminded Columbus. All four characters hungered for something more than sustenance: a twinky, a kiss, a ride on the rollercoaster. And therein lies the human downfall: our cravings bring out the animal.

Of course, these human cravings were the exact temptations that lead them into danger. If they stopped too long, the zombies got them, and then they were reduced to nothing but cravings. How much craving is human, and how much is zombie? In one of the many great moments of the film, Columbus and Tallahasee watch a zombie woman devouring a corpse (and I mean devour: sucking the marrow from the bones, chewing the elastic small intestine...). "Columbus remarks that it’s a reminder of how far the world has fallen; his new companion, on the other hand, says it makes him hungry" (http://www.cinemaspy.com/article.php?id=3174).

Let’s just consider for a second though, that this H1N1 or some other strain of virus may eventually mutate into a rabies-like disease which causes fervent hunger and disregard for self preservation. What would you need in Zombie Land?

Here’s my list:

1. A Vibrator. Let’s be honest, like Columbus, my hormones would probably get the best of me. When real humans are hard to come by, and getting pregnant is more than life threatening, it’s probably best to have your favorite jack rabbit along.

2. A Giant Dog. Like Will Smith in that other zombie movie, man’s best friend is even more helpful when you’re going up against humans gone wrong. Dogs remind you why you never liked humans in the first place, and besides, dogs will eat anything; there will be no side trips for Twinkies.

3. Your Ipod. When slaying hundreds of the undead, it’s best to do it to your favorite soundtrack. I mean, if you think running on a treadmill is boring without music, think about the daily zombie routine: wake up, kill a zombie, get dressed, kill a zombie, find some food, kill 10 zombies… you get the picture.

4. A Baseball Bat. After watching so many characters run out of bullets or miss their targets, I think I would resort to the good ol’ baseball bat. It’s worked for people with road rage, why not zombie rage?

5. An Iphone Touch with GPS. Zombies don’t waste their time online, so if you do stoop to your human needs of wanting other humans, you’ll need constant updates on their whereabouts and how many zombie kills they’ve made that day. Don’t forget to subscribe to the Twitter groups, “Kill of the Day” and “Arnold Schwarzenegger.” Whether he's a zombie or a human you'll want the latest youtube video of his conquests.

A Brief Explanation

2009-10-18T10:21:00.000-04:00

The Lost and Found is an eery place, like a 19th century orphanage: full of singing red heads. Okay, well the similarity isn't that great. But it is full of untapped potential, objects accidentally discarded, often missed, and every so often found by their original owner or in the case of Annie, rescued by a richer and wiser guardian.

There are many forms of the lost'n'found box in modern day society: second hand stores, junk yards, used car garages, free boxes, and actual lost'n'found boxes, or drawers, or closets, or in the case of large amusement parks, entire rooms. (What is it about amusement parks that causes you to lose all of your belongings, money included?)

I happen to be a frequent visitor to all forms of the modern day lost and found. It's not that I don't value my objects, it just seems that the world is set against my maintenance of them. They are often degraded, deformed, and disguised along the way. Like in a recent dream I had; I thought I was holding a flower but when I looked down it was actually the cold metal barrell of a gun. Objects transform so easily from reliable companion to unfamiliar stranger (eg. when the computer goes haywire).

My phone has been lost on many occasions. Reaching into my pocket, its familiar, warm rounded contours are gone. I first wait for it to reappear. Then I retrace my steps. Lastly, I visit the lost and found at Public Safety, the Wesleyan campus police.

"What's it look like?" the officer always asks.

"It's silver and has a rounded bottom," I offer.

I withold the intimate details, like the long scratch running down the front side, or the worn out "8" key which now looks like a "6." What if I imagined these details? What if I got them wrong? You don't want to be too precise at the lost and found.

When he finally shows me the only phone they have in their lost and found drawer, it is indeed mine. But it seems foreign: a doppelganger of my phone. It has new scratches and a tarnished spot I don't remember. Maybe these visual cues were always there, maybe they're new with a story I am not a part of. Either way, the journey of lost has transformed my phone, and the process of found has returned a different object than I expected. The phone I will become reacquainted and soon the familiarity will be reestablished; to find is to renew.

Hopefully, this blog will not be full of misleading metaphors, but rather will breathe a fresh new perspective into well traversed ideas. Like objects, ideas too emerge and recede, often ending up in some on-line form of lost and found. As one of my new favorite authors, Peter Morville, wrote, "People from all over can now report and seek items using the Internet Lost and Found." Unlike the physical lost and found at the Public Safety office, though, one arrives and searches online not by foot and eye, but by words. "While the Web's architecture rests on a solid foundation of code, its usefulness depends on the slippery slope of semantics. It's all about words. Words as labels. Words as links. Keywords." (Ambient Findability, 14-15, http://www.findability.org/).

To guide you through my meager lost and found of ideas and words, I will categorize my postings into these categories:

Thoughts from the Box will use current and old scifi and fantasy movies as a springboard for musings on society and human evolution.

Re(ad) offers brief responses, descriptions (often promotional), and further readings for ideas I come across in print form.

Chaotic Tendencies pursues my current obsession with the pervasion and perversion of current American society, especially pop culture, with the theories and principles of Chaos.

Pervert and Other Short Stories is my attempt at apolitical journalism. Most articles will probably be inspired by my subscription to Anarchist People of Color (http://illvox.org/) as well as the current Wesleyan Queer Community news.

Other (with a capital O) is for entries which deviate from these norms and categories I have set. Perhaps stemming more from my personal life, (cough cough, O), or from the life of a fictional character. Oh, that reminds me! This blog never claims to be non-fictional. The line is drawn, the line is crossed, the fictional line remains fictional.

Thanks for reading! Enjoy!