A Blog About Nothing

20 Random Gems

2009-12-18T12:09:00.001-05:00

...got this in an email the other day. Pretty funny stuff:

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3.. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad/Mom what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well..

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay

Awesome!

2009-11-17T20:25:00.002-05:00

Homemade Fireworks

2008-05-13T07:34:00.001-04:00

Best First Dance Ever!

2007-11-28T13:45:00.000-05:00

This has to be the best first dance I've ever seen.

Washington DC Fox5 High School Game of the Week

2007-11-06T09:33:00.001-05:00

Pick "Park View vs. Broad Run"Two 9-0 teams go at it on Friday night!

read more | digg story

Faith Hill Says "Hands Off Tim's Doo-Dads"

2007-08-01T11:32:00.001-04:00

Frightening Insects

2007-08-01T08:43:00.000-04:00

Here are some amazing pictures of insects up close and personal. They're pretty scary when looking at them this way!

The pincers on an earwig.

60X magnified grasshopper.

Bumblebee.

Dust mites at 350X.

Common flea at 250X.

Pharoah ant at 230X.

Human head louse at only 80X (Yikes!)

Fruit fly at 350X.

House spider at 20X.

Mosquito.

La Cucaracha at 120X.

House fly.

Amazing Magic Trick

2007-07-30T17:45:00.001-04:00

Open Courseware

2007-07-28T13:20:00.000-04:00

Open courseware is college content that is free to the public and available online. If you want to become a master of something (without actually getting the degree), use open courseware. It's a great concept. I've compiled a list of some of the better sites I could find.

1. MIT - http://ocw.mit.edu/index.html

2. JHU School of Public Health - http://ocw.jhsph.edu/

3. UC Berkeley - http://webcast.berkeley.edu/courses.php

4. Tufts - http://ocw.tufts.edu/

5. Notre Dame - http://ocw.nd.edu/

6. Carnegie Mellon - http://www.cmu.edu/oli/

Man Vs. Wild to Offer "Clarity" in future episodes

2007-07-24T13:30:00.000-04:00

...just found out that the "reality" show Man vs. Wild was misleading its viewers by staging scenes and even allowing Bear to stay in hotels on some nights. The show's creators say that the show was merely an instructional series (not a documentary) but in the future, they will make the show more transparent. Well, so much for it being my favorite show: http://tcorlen.blogspot.com/2007/07/man-vs-wild-my-new-favorite-show.html.

Here is the story about it at BBC:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/6913108.stm

Blind Kid That Can See

2007-07-23T11:43:00.001-04:00

This is amazing.. this kid and see and he's not just legally blind. He actually is completely blind (he has no eyes because of an illness in early childhood).

God's Inbox

2007-07-23T10:55:00.001-04:00

Click picture for expanded view:

Iraqi Summer Olympics

2007-07-18T09:05:00.000-04:00

This is the Diving Event:

New Phrases for 2007

2007-07-17T08:42:00.000-04:00

SALAD DODGER - An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

SWAMP-DONKEY - A deeply unattractive person.

TESTICULATING - Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING - Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a Project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS - The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM - An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

SITCOMs - Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".

SINBAD - Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

AEROPLANE BLONDE - One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decis ions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.

GOING FOR A McSHIT - Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the crapper. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies.

404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

AUSSIE KISS - Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

OH - NO SECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').

GREYHOUND - A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

JOHN NY-NO-STARS - A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of\n training.

MILLENNIUM DOMES - The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.

MONKEY BATH - A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!".

MYSTERY BUS - The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

MYSTERY TAXI - The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead. (This is similar to the old school phrase "coyote ugly").

BEER COAT - The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3:00am .

BEER COMPASS - The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.

BREAKING THE SEAL - Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

TART FUEL - Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

PICASSO BUM - A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.

George Bush, 3 Brazilian Soldiers

2007-07-16T10:48:00.000-04:00

The picture and caption say it all:

Powerful photo of child receiving flag from a Marine

2007-07-16T10:32:00.000-04:00

It's not all fun and games on this blog. I also have a serious and emotional side. I found this very powerful photo of a young boy receiving the U.S. flag from a Marine during a funeral.

The Attractiveness Scale

2007-07-16T09:16:00.001-04:00

This is what your mind does subconsciously when evaluating a potential date:

VIDEO: Does this make my ass look small?

2007-07-16T07:30:00.000-04:00

How to Earn $0.03 Per Day Blogging

2007-07-13T13:08:00.000-04:00

We've all read the articles and seen the posts on how to earn a 6 figure income blogging ($100K/yr amounts to $273.97 a day) but very few people discuss the low end of the scale. Therefore, as a public service, I'm going to provide the secrets. I'm going to give you 10 easy steps for earning 3 cents in a single day.

Here is a screenshot of my actual earnings from "yesterday":

EDITOR NOTE: I removed the image as I forgot that you can't post stats, only totals!

1. Send out your posts to only a few friends that probably only read your post quickly and then close down the browser without clicking any ads.

2. Digg your own post but only have a couple of other diggers Digg your post so that it never becomes popular.

3. Read other blogs about making money blogging and here is the important part: day-dream about your blog making tons of money, too.

4. Have only a few people visit your blog each day.

5. Change your blog name so that everyone (all 10 of them) that knew your blog name before now gets links that don't work. (...also realize that all your previous digg links will no longer work either).

6. Put links to blogs that actually make money on your blog and point everyone to those sites.

7. Log into Adsense multiple times each day. When you see that you've earned $0.01, go to digg.com and to see if someone actually dugg your post. This will motivate you to continue blogging each and every day.

8 Have so little content on your blog that your Adsense ad always reads "Hurricane Relief Fund".

9. Accidentally "bury" your main blog URL on DIGG because you originally submitted an incorrect link. This relates to #5.

10. Keep your motivation up. Earning $0.03 per day is hard work. Based on an 8 hour day, you're pulling down $0.00375 per hour. At this rate, you need to wait 9 years and 2 months to get that $100 check from Google.

Brooke Shields, What Happened?

2007-07-12T14:25:00.001-04:00

Is it just me or does Brooke Shields now look like a dude? I used to be a big fan of hers back in her younger days but I'm not so sure anymore.

Weird Animals

2007-07-12T08:52:00.000-04:00

Here are a bunch of pictures of strange animals.

This animal is a crossbreed between a zebra and horse. The father of "Eclyse" is a horse from Italy, where the crossbreed filly was born in 2006, her mother is a zebra from the Safari park.

This rare two-toned lobster was found in Maine. The lobster is a typical mottled green on one side; the other side is a shade of orange that looks cooked. Mount Desert Oceanarium staff members say the odds of finding a half-and-half lobster are 1 in 50 million to 100 million.

In this photo, a hog is shown to have weighed 1,051 pounds and measured 9 feet 4 inches from the tip of its snout to the base of its tail. If claims of the animal's size are true, it would be larger than "Hogzilla", the huge hog killed in Georgia in 2004.

Here is a picture of a six-legged calf, born a farm bear Litchfield, Neb., April 29, 2007. The calf also has both male and female reproductive organs.

This March 2007 photo, released by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, shows a 44-inch, 60-pound female shortraker rockfish, which was caught 2,100 feet below the surface, south of the Pribilof Islands in the Bering Sea.

A New Zealand fisherman kneels next to a giant squid believed to have been caught in Antarctica's Ross Sea. The giant squid, known as a colossal squid (scientific name Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni) and thought to be the largest squid ever found anywhere in the world, weighed an estimated 990 pounds, 330 pounds heavier than the next biggest specimen ever found.

see more at: http://abcnews.go.com/US/popup?id=2205608

Syrian family keep hyenas as pets

2007-07-11T14:59:00.001-04:00

July 11 - Hassan Shwekani is a professional dog trainer who captures and tames wild hyenas.

read more | digg story

Free to a Good Home

2007-07-10T14:09:00.000-04:00

This pet is free to a good home. ...very quiet and doesn't get into much.

How Good is Tiger? ...just ask Ernie!

2007-07-09T11:42:00.001-04:00

This is a great story by David Feherty talking about Tiger's amazing skills! Golfers and non-golfers alike will enjoy this story.

read more | digg story

Man vs. Wild (My New Favorite Show)

2007-07-08T13:55:00.001-04:00

This show on Discovery is absolutely incredible. Bear Grylls is the host and he gets dropped off in remote areas and is forced to survive. He is forced to do some crazy crap to survive! Here is a video of one of the shows:

Online Videos by Veoh.com