A Blog About Nothing

Golf Cart Fail

2011-12-30T17:33:00.001-05:00

99 Problems

2011-02-20T09:25:00.000-05:00

New Scam Against Men

2011-01-18T10:34:00.000-05:00

I don't know how often or if you guys go to Lowes or Home Depot but I felt I needed to give you a heads up about a scam at those 2 places. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic.
Here's how the scam works:

Two nice-looking, college-aged girls will come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into your vehicle.

They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. (It's impossible not to look). When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' but instead ask for a ride to McDonald's.

You agree and they climb into the vehicle.

On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen on Nov. 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also Dec. 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th & 27th, and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of us older men.

Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found even cheaper ones for $.99 at the Dollar Store and I bought them out.

Also, you never get to eat at McDonald's. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth from Lowe's, to Home Depot, to Costco, Etc.

So please, be careful and vigilant.

P.S. (The best times are just before lunch and around 4:30 in the afternoon.)

How Wilson Manufactures NFL Game Footballs

2011-01-09T11:49:00.002-05:00

Here is an inside look into Wilson's Ada, Ohio, football factory where all of the official NFL game balls are made. The video shows the step-by-step process that each football goes through.

Old Men vs. RC Car on Golf Course

2011-01-06T20:52:00.002-05:00

Harmonia in Carnegie Hall

2010-12-10T09:29:00.000-05:00

Serious Hail

2010-11-03T20:45:00.001-04:00

100 Best Movie Insults

2010-07-01T15:26:00.002-04:00

McAfee breaks computer with 5958 dat file

2010-04-21T14:31:00.000-04:00

W32/Wecorl.a Virus Produces Dcom Server Process Launcher Terminated Unexpectedly Error

See mcafee's page:

https://kc.mcafee.com/corporate/index?page=content&id=KB68780

Jesus Saves!

2010-04-08T14:00:00.002-04:00

...and apparently he does pretty well since he's driving a 7-series.

And Then the Fight Started

2010-01-26T09:41:00.003-05:00

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift...
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started...
________________________________

I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we
were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________

I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first|
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the
channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
________________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in less
than 3 seconds.'
I bought her a bathroom scale..
And then the fight started...
________________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion,
and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone
at a nearby table.
I asked her, 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' she sighed, he's my old boyfriend... I understand he took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' I said, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating
that long.'
And then the fight started...
________________________________

I rear-ended a car this morning.... So, there we were alongside the
road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things
just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
HAPPY!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started...
________________________________

THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER:
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to
me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the
truck, the car, playing golf| Always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors| I watched
silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only
a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep
the driveway.'
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Axe Cleans Your Balls

2010-01-14T14:02:00.000-05:00

20 Random Gems

2009-12-18T12:09:00.001-05:00

...got this in an email the other day. Pretty funny stuff:

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3.. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad/Mom what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well..

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay

Awesome!

2009-11-17T20:25:00.002-05:00

Homemade Fireworks

2008-05-13T07:34:00.001-04:00

Best First Dance Ever!

2007-11-28T13:45:00.000-05:00

This has to be the best first dance I've ever seen.

Washington DC Fox5 High School Game of the Week

2007-11-06T09:33:00.001-05:00

Pick "Park View vs. Broad Run"Two 9-0 teams go at it on Friday night!

read more | digg story

Frightening Insects

2007-08-01T08:43:00.000-04:00

Here are some amazing pictures of insects up close and personal. They're pretty scary when looking at them this way!

The pincers on an earwig.

60X magnified grasshopper.

Bumblebee.

Dust mites at 350X.

Common flea at 250X.

Pharoah ant at 230X.

Human head louse at only 80X (Yikes!)

Fruit fly at 350X.

House spider at 20X.

Mosquito.

La Cucaracha at 120X.

House fly.

Amazing Magic Trick

2007-07-30T17:45:00.001-04:00

Open Courseware

2007-07-28T13:20:00.000-04:00

Open courseware is college content that is free to the public and available online. If you want to become a master of something (without actually getting the degree), use open courseware. It's a great concept. I've compiled a list of some of the better sites I could find.

1. MIT - http://ocw.mit.edu/index.html

2. JHU School of Public Health - http://ocw.jhsph.edu/

3. UC Berkeley - http://webcast.berkeley.edu/courses.php

4. Tufts - http://ocw.tufts.edu/

5. Notre Dame - http://ocw.nd.edu/

6. Carnegie Mellon - http://www.cmu.edu/oli/

Man Vs. Wild to Offer "Clarity" in future episodes

2007-07-24T13:30:00.000-04:00

...just found out that the "reality" show Man vs. Wild was misleading its viewers by staging scenes and even allowing Bear to stay in hotels on some nights. The show's creators say that the show was merely an instructional series (not a documentary) but in the future, they will make the show more transparent. Well, so much for it being my favorite show: http://tcorlen.blogspot.com/2007/07/man-vs-wild-my-new-favorite-show.html.

Here is the story about it at BBC:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/6913108.stm

Blind Kid That Can See

2007-07-23T11:43:00.001-04:00

This is amazing.. this kid and see and he's not just legally blind. He actually is completely blind (he has no eyes because of an illness in early childhood).

God's Inbox

2007-07-23T10:55:00.001-04:00

Click picture for expanded view:

Iraqi Summer Olympics

2007-07-18T09:05:00.000-04:00

This is the Diving Event:

New Phrases for 2007

2007-07-17T08:42:00.000-04:00

SALAD DODGER - An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

SWAMP-DONKEY - A deeply unattractive person.

TESTICULATING - Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING - Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a Project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS - The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM - An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

SITCOMs - Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".

SINBAD - Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

AEROPLANE BLONDE - One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decis ions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.

GOING FOR A McSHIT - Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the crapper. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies.

404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

AUSSIE KISS - Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

OH - NO SECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').

GREYHOUND - A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

JOHN NY-NO-STARS - A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of\n training.

MILLENNIUM DOMES - The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.

MONKEY BATH - A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!".

MYSTERY BUS - The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

MYSTERY TAXI - The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead. (This is similar to the old school phrase "coyote ugly").

BEER COAT - The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3:00am .

BEER COMPASS - The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.

BREAKING THE SEAL - Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

TART FUEL - Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

PICASSO BUM - A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.