A Blog About Nothing

Leaving Work Early

2014-03-31T18:07:00.001-04:00

Chris Farley Reincarnated as a New Baby Girl!

2013-08-02T12:00:00.001-04:00

http://www.cnn.com/2013/07/30/world/europe/germany-big-baby/index.html?hpt=hp_c3

"Highlights" from Tiger's Win at Arnold Palmer Invitational

2013-03-25T18:36:00.002-04:00

I see a highlight! haha!

Yay for Clean Bathrooms!

2012-12-30T17:40:00.002-05:00

Golf Cart Fail

2011-12-30T17:33:00.001-05:00

99 Problems

2011-02-20T09:25:00.000-05:00

New Scam Against Men

2011-01-18T10:34:00.000-05:00

I don't know how often or if you guys go to Lowes or Home Depot but I felt I needed to give you a heads up about a scam at those 2 places. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic.
Here's how the scam works:

Two nice-looking, college-aged girls will come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into your vehicle.

They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. (It's impossible not to look). When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' but instead ask for a ride to McDonald's.

You agree and they climb into the vehicle.

On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen on Nov. 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also Dec. 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th & 27th, and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of us older men.

Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found even cheaper ones for $.99 at the Dollar Store and I bought them out.

Also, you never get to eat at McDonald's. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth from Lowe's, to Home Depot, to Costco, Etc.

So please, be careful and vigilant.

P.S. (The best times are just before lunch and around 4:30 in the afternoon.)

How Wilson Manufactures NFL Game Footballs

2011-01-09T11:49:00.002-05:00

Here is an inside look into Wilson's Ada, Ohio, football factory where all of the official NFL game balls are made. The video shows the step-by-step process that each football goes through.

Old Men vs. RC Car on Golf Course

2011-01-06T20:52:00.002-05:00

Harmonia in Carnegie Hall

2010-12-10T09:29:00.000-05:00

Serious Hail

2010-11-03T20:45:00.001-04:00

100 Best Movie Insults

2010-07-01T15:26:00.002-04:00

McAfee breaks computer with 5958 dat file

2010-04-21T14:31:00.000-04:00

W32/Wecorl.a Virus Produces Dcom Server Process Launcher Terminated Unexpectedly Error

See mcafee's page:

https://kc.mcafee.com/corporate/index?page=content&id=KB68780

Jesus Saves!

2010-04-08T14:00:00.002-04:00

...and apparently he does pretty well since he's driving a 7-series.

And Then the Fight Started

2010-01-26T09:41:00.003-05:00

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift...
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started...
________________________________

I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we
were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________

I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first|
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the
channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
________________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in less
than 3 seconds.'
I bought her a bathroom scale..
And then the fight started...
________________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion,
and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone
at a nearby table.
I asked her, 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' she sighed, he's my old boyfriend... I understand he took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' I said, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating
that long.'
And then the fight started...
________________________________

I rear-ended a car this morning.... So, there we were alongside the
road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things
just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
HAPPY!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started...
________________________________

THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER:
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to
me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the
truck, the car, playing golf| Always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors| I watched
silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only
a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep
the driveway.'
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Axe Cleans Your Balls

2010-01-14T14:02:00.000-05:00

20 Random Gems

2009-12-18T12:09:00.001-05:00

...got this in an email the other day. Pretty funny stuff:

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3.. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad/Mom what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well..

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay

Awesome!

2009-11-17T20:25:00.002-05:00

Homemade Fireworks

2008-05-13T07:34:00.001-04:00

Best First Dance Ever!

2007-11-28T13:45:00.000-05:00

This has to be the best first dance I've ever seen.

Washington DC Fox5 High School Game of the Week

2007-11-06T09:33:00.001-05:00

Pick "Park View vs. Broad Run"Two 9-0 teams go at it on Friday night!

read more | digg story

Frightening Insects

2007-08-01T08:43:00.000-04:00

Here are some amazing pictures of insects up close and personal. They're pretty scary when looking at them this way!

The pincers on an earwig.

60X magnified grasshopper.

Bumblebee.

Dust mites at 350X.

Common flea at 250X.

Pharoah ant at 230X.

Human head louse at only 80X (Yikes!)

Fruit fly at 350X.

House spider at 20X.

Mosquito.

La Cucaracha at 120X.

House fly.

Amazing Magic Trick

2007-07-30T17:45:00.001-04:00

Open Courseware

2007-07-28T13:20:00.000-04:00

Open courseware is college content that is free to the public and available online. If you want to become a master of something (without actually getting the degree), use open courseware. It's a great concept. I've compiled a list of some of the better sites I could find.

1. MIT - http://ocw.mit.edu/index.html

2. JHU School of Public Health - http://ocw.jhsph.edu/

3. UC Berkeley - http://webcast.berkeley.edu/courses.php

4. Tufts - http://ocw.tufts.edu/

5. Notre Dame - http://ocw.nd.edu/

6. Carnegie Mellon - http://www.cmu.edu/oli/

Man Vs. Wild to Offer "Clarity" in future episodes

2007-07-24T13:30:00.000-04:00

...just found out that the "reality" show Man vs. Wild was misleading its viewers by staging scenes and even allowing Bear to stay in hotels on some nights. The show's creators say that the show was merely an instructional series (not a documentary) but in the future, they will make the show more transparent. Well, so much for it being my favorite show: http://tcorlen.blogspot.com/2007/07/man-vs-wild-my-new-favorite-show.html.

Here is the story about it at BBC:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/6913108.stm