Forever Young

Voice of Love

2012-01-29T09:03:00.001+09:00

There are currently 20,000 children in South Korea waiting to be adopted. Of these children, many have special needs, and their hopes are bleak for one day finding a forever family. (Of special needs children in South Korea, only 1.5% are adopted by Korean citizens via domestic adoption.)

Despite these numbers, and due in part to pressure from anti-adoption groups, there are now restrictions impacting all international adoptions. A quota has been established, drastically limiting the number of children that can be adopted internationally.

Statistically, very few children in South Korea are adopted domestically. While the government has worked overtime to promote domestic adoptions and lift cultural prejudices, it takes time to dispel long held myths regarding adopted children. Meanwhile, children wait. They remain in institutions and foster care. They grow up without ever having a forever family.

Purpose of the Voice Of Love campaign:

1. To let the voices of those who have been blessed through international adoption be heard by the government and people of South Korea.

2. To influence change and eliminate the international adoption quota in Korea.

3. To affirm and encourage the South Korean government in its promotion of adoption.

Why Voice of Love?

Voice of Love is a blended voice. Composed of Koreans, Korean-Americans, American churches and ministries, adoptees and their families, and friends all over the world—we are brought together by one goal: restoring the futures of waiting children and reminding South Korea that adoption is a beautiful thing.

SHARE YOUR VOICE TODAY

http://youtu.be/U3xnvc4t7W4

Reminded Again

2012-01-22T15:42:00.000+09:00

I was reminded again this weekend how awesome family is for a broken spirit and a less than perfect body. I had the opportunity to share with several families the joy of adding to your family through adoption with those children that wait because their bodies and spirits are less than perfect. It makes me cry to think of all the joy I would be missing if I had passed on my waiting babes. The labels are scary but the missed joy is an even worse fate.

Remember this skin and bones baby with the labels prenatal HIV exposure, low birth weight, malnourished

I love to remember where she started so that when we rejoice our shouts of joy are even louder! Tonight she was able to play with her sisters and eat dinner with the family!!!! It was awesome!!! She wears the family girl label pretty well don't you think?!

Remember this sick little one with the labels VATERAL, ASD, institutionalized, malnourished, brain abnormality, 3 months development at 10 months old?

Here she is last night at small group. The picture is out of focus because there was too many helpers...but LOOK at her smile. She is free from her fear and so ready to face life.

Not only can she walk, she can run, jump and ride a bike. She wears the label super star like a rock star!!

Remember this little girl with the labels older child, prenatal HIV exposure, early childhood trauma, will require lifelong medical attention?

Today at the beach, she was able to make a friend, swim with her, ask what her name was, and play happily without adult attention for over an hour. She was kind to her sisters, and she was able to make it home for lunch without a melt down even though she was really hunger. Wow! She wears the labels sister, daughter and friend really, really well!

Remember this boy that was on rainbow kids waiting for a family? Remember the labels VSD, needs constant attention, several foster family placements?

Noah is really awesome. Not only is he smart and clever, he is kind and creative. He loves to read and be read to. He is a learner, explorer and adventurer. I LOVE having him in my family. He has a new best friend and is full to the brim with happiness. Today, he wears the label happy and content with a smile on his face!

Wordless Wednesday

2012-01-06T07:54:00.000+09:00

Welcome 2012! Goodbye 2011...

2012-01-02T16:15:00.001+09:00

Reflecting back on the year highlighted to me how far we've come in so little time. We are truly FAMILY. I'm so thankful to have a space to share our many accomplishments along the way!

Alana, still going by Biruktawit at this point, turned 7. She was unsure that birthdays come every year for everyone. No worries, she is sure now and delightfully excited to turn 8 in a few short days.

We learned that Myra feels the world in a different way and our eyes are opened to Sensory Processing Disorder. It has been a LONG year in this department but progressively better. We are finally learning how to parent her in a way that is helpful and loving. Myra is learning to cope in more healthy ways. I'm starting to like her again too!!!

Eden turned 2. She is the baby of the family and LOVES this position. Coco gives her too much candy. Meme lets her stay up late. I let her do almost anything she wants too. Eden has turned a major corner this year. She is no longer scared all the time. She is hopeful and at peace. The world is her's! It is wonderful.

Noah learned to love TaeKwonDo this year. He is a fierce, book reading warrior. It was almost impossible for him to test last year because he was so afraid. But this year was a totally different story. So big, so strong, so bold! And so kind and loving towards others. I think he is the best son, opa, friend around.

Eden was potty trained and Myra learned how to send me to the nut farm.

Camping in Hawaii is better than living in Hawaii. What's not to love? The beach, the food, the weather, dirty bodies, no sleep, surfing. We're hooked.

Alana finished first grade. She learned to speak, read and write English at grade level. She began learning math and science facts. It was a great year!

Summer time and summer school = fun times and a break for me. We really, really enjoyed Leeward Community College Summer program. It was more than we could have hoped for or dreamed of. What an outstanding team of teachers!!! It really was a dream come true.

We decided to homeschool Alana, Noah and Eden this year. Classical Conversations and the Ewa Beach Homeschool group provided a great structure and an amazing community to our year. We LOVE Classical Conversations too much!

Eden is officially healed. What an amazing testimony to God's goodness in her life. We are completely in awe of the healing that took place in her body. We are so thankful for her wholeness!!

Andrew moved to Hawaii and Brian now has a best friend. Here they are on one of their man dates...he won't dress the same for me but for Andrew......

Brian tells me I've been promoted to Squad Leader. Noah and Alana have taken over the roles of Team Leaders. They each have a partner and are responsible to watch out for their team. I love seeing the older ones take charge and lead. It is a good life to be sure!

My first child turned 6, lost a tooth and asked about s.e.x quickly followed by several questions about s.tar w.ar.s. He is NOT a little boy anymore. I love him so much and with such a deepness that it is overwhelming at times.

Myra turned 3 and started preschool. She has left her baby days behind and is moving full force ahead into childhood.

Happy 2012!

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T15:07:00.000+09:00

Loving that we had to turn the AC down to wear these cuties :)

Christmas Picture Love

2011-12-07T15:04:00.000+09:00

What's Up Martha!

2011-12-07T14:56:00.000+09:00

I think the kiddos have something on Martha...don't you?

Wordless Wednesday

2011-11-17T14:57:00.000+09:00

Family picture time

2011-10-28T16:54:00.000+09:00

I love family picture time. I spend WAY too much time on the clothes...and money for that matter. But...it is much cheaper than therapy and I LOVE it. What more do I need to say?

Here is the fabric for this year:

The girls are going to wear dresses designed by Niki at Sun Love Shirts...and Myra is going to wear these (of course I got them on sale for a steal!).

The boys will wear a mix of aloha/ guayabera in black, white and gray.

Can you see it? Are you dying with excitement? Me too!

Pumpkins

2011-10-28T16:36:00.000+09:00

It's hot and wonderful in Hawaii but I still want to remember Fall...for a day and then go back to the beach!

Whole

2011-10-28T16:23:00.000+09:00

Eden came home almost two year ago. Her body and spirit were broken. There were moments during the past two years that left us breathless. Witnessing her transformation is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm eternally thankful for our little one.

lipstick is required according to Eden

Last month, her cardiologist pronounced her heart healed. Her GI doc and general surgeon are AMAZED at how her body has healed. NO one thought she would be potty trained before 5 and many people told us that we should prepare for a life of incontinence. People - Eden is fully potty trained. The past 5 nights she has stayed clean and dry all night long. #2 is NOT even an issue. How good is God. How awesome is His goodness!

I gave this testimony a few weeks ago at a Church meeting. I thought I would you too. I'm so thankful for how I'm changed because of Eden.

I am a loser

I am an incredibly selfishness, egotistical person. And I believed I had every right to be: Graduated from West Point, Outstanding Army Officer, Junior marketing associate at Kraft Foods making bank. Driven at all costs including friends, marriage, family

I'm totally screwed up emotionally. War in Iraq brought me face to face with the true nature of the human condition – that is we all get to die and we are NOT in control of when or how it happens. Needless to say it messes with your mind. I'm unavailable, lacking in affection, and kept safe by control.

I'm infertile. Nothing about my junk down there works right. Thought I was in charge for my fertility. Believed in the infallibility of my body. Got sick. Had surgery. Got damaged. And that was it.

I'm a terrible wife. I would rather die than submit to my husband or offer an ounce of respect. Disaster, divorce and defeat was the charted course and things were moving fast.

“...sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the FOOLISH things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the WEAK things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the LOWLY things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.” I COR 1:26-28

I don't stand here alone. My heart is not my own. I am a new creation – chosen – beloved – clean

In Christ I am free to seek after a life

In Christ I am free to let go of my fear. I can know that with Christ I can face death. I know that there is no death in Christ. There is no darkness. There is only hope, life and peace.

In Christ, I am a mother to 4 amazing children. My womb is closed by my arms are full.

With Christ I can serve my husband. I am able to forgive him, follow his lead, let him be the provider. Together with Christ we can create a relationship that is satisfying, God honoring, and beautiful.

And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart

Ezekiel 36:26

Right now, in my life, in everything I do... LOVE is the thing. I am learning that I know so little about what it means to be loved by Christ and to love like Christ. I'm learning that true, God centered, God given Love is TOTALLY different from my self-centered, self-serving, easy going love. The truth is:

Love is Costly. It ALWAYS involves some kind of self-denial. Love cost you life in this world. (John12:25) Love is an action

The song Only Love Remains by JJ Heller says, “I know that I deserve to die for the murderer in my heart.” This is devastating to hear for me to hear. Death, murder, lier. But death first then life in Christ is the whole thing. The song goes on “I begin to see reality for the first time in my life. I know that I'm a shadow but I'm dancing in your light.” My reality – Christ has “called me from grave.”

I began to see this reality so clearly when Eden came first home. We met Eden at the Love and Hope Orphanage for Crippled Children in Daegu, S. Korea. Noah and I served there once a week while we where living in South Korea. She was one of many sweet children deemed as unadoptable. She was very unlovely.

No seriously. I know it is hard to imagine since she is just about the cutest thing. But her heart was so weak and she was literally dying. She was bald in the back for her head from spending hours her back at the orphanage. She did not know even how to smile. At 10 months old she was only 10 lbs. There were no muscles in her body. She would lay lifeless in my arms. Feeding her was impossible. The crying went on endlessly. She could not be alone without me even for a minute. 4:00am was sleeping in to her. It was painful. There was NO joy in it. She was ugly, dying, and unable to give love.

I am not sure why or how our hearts opened to this little girl but they did. Jesus open our eyes to her and to possibility of what family could be and do for her. We asked if we could adopt her the day after Thanksgiving and she came home forever on December 17^th. She was our surprise adoption – I always wondered how a family could have an unexpected, unplanned adoption but I am hear to tell it is possible.

The idea of caring for a HIGH needs child was hard, scary, BIG when I pictured it but I went to West Point nothing could be that hard right? How wrong could I be. It is no joke. Caring for Noah and Myra (only 12 months old) in a foreign country was an adventure. Caring for a medically needy...dying, orphanage raised child was so huge. I could not do it. I started planning my escape. It all seem too big. Too endless. Too hopeless. I called my Mom.

She caught the next flight to South Korea in the middle of the winter. She quit her job, left her home, friends, husband and joined us in our 9^th floor prison. It was BIG and hard and terrible of her to but...She loved (ACTION) Eden. My Mom woke up early to be with Eden and teach her how to smile. She served her despite the smell, despite the pain, despite the lack of anything in return. She loved Eden because she deserved to be loved. Her love was given freely without expectation for anything in return. I was able to love (ACTION) Eden by following her example. By following Christ's example in my own life.

My Mom loved Eden (and me) the way the Christ loves. It's Chosen not deserved. It's given freely not earned. Without reserve. Without self preservation. I am ugly and unlovable but He loves me without hesitation. And the best part is He loves me and see my beauty though all of the crap. I am His precious child. Learning to love Eden at her worst demonstrated to me that love (ACTION) can be the THING not the stuff that I let define my relationships. We don't deserved to be loved but Jesus gives it freely. I want my love (ACTION) to be given freely without reserves. I need Jesus...just like the song says...I'm going to say again “Breath into my spirit – Breath into my veins – UNTIL ONLY LOVE REMAINS.

A few weeks ago, sitting in my therapist office I recounted the ways I'm incapable of meeting the needs of my children....”seemingly.” Their burden seemed too great and my abilities seemed too small. My love will NEVER be enough. In the prefect way that my therapist always does she stated, “I'm not sure why you think you need to meet their need alone. You live in a community”

I am not alone. LOVE (ACTION) takes place within a community.

My family came to Hawaii a little over a year ago. It was a trip to save Eden's life. With 5 major surgeries schedule in the first three month on island. Long hours in the PICU is how we experienced Hawaii in those first months. But it was that time in the PICU that brought us to this community. Our nurse heard us singing Amazing Grace and Jesus Loves Me to Eden and invited us to church. Our nurse was there to care for Eden when I was loosing it. He was there when Eden stopped breathing post surgery. He was there to be my community and participate in LOVE as an action. He brought us out of our isolation and into a a community of believes. He was just doing his job, he just said “you might like our church...VBS starts in a few weeks.” He just loves (ACTION) Jesus and that love became part of our community.

My oldest daughter joined our family just over a year ago. She grew up in a traditional Ethiopian family. She was often hungry. She suffered many, too many hardships for her young yeas. She lived in an orphanage for several months. One of the most unexpected things about Alana was her inability to play when she first arrived home. She complete lacked the ability to imagine. She did not know what to do with toys. She had never had toys so this is understandable but nonetheless unexpected. I did not realize how important imaginary play and toy play are to establishing peer to peer relationships even within the family unit. Alana needed desperately to learn how to play. Despite an honest effort, I was not going to be the one to teach her how to play. Believe me I tried, but the creative juices are just not what they used to be. Our 12 year old friend on the other hand is a creative play genius. Her abilities are nothing short of amazing...awesome...incredible. Indian princesses, train rides, animal families, school mistress, treasure hunts. Alana was foreign and awkward. Our family was messy, in crisis, full of issues. We were not the “ideal” friends to say the least. This family open their hearts, home and free time to our family. Our friend played with Alana once a week for 8 months to teach her how to play. She loved Alana no matter what, even when it was awkward and messy. She put her energy and time to make a way for Alana to find friendship. This family carried our burdens as their own...

Galatians 6:2, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

They loved (ACTION) by being our community when it was impossible for me to meet the need. The incredible thing for me is that Alana's play became a place of joy instead of despair. This family's community turned our burned into a place of joy. Loving within a community

This whole thing is not that MY love changing or MY ability to love but God's love bring perfected in me (1John4:12). I am grateful for the grace that allows me to learn what it means to love like Jesus. God is FOR me. He is IN me. I do possess ALL I need to love. I do not need to believe the lies. I can ABIDE in him. His well never runs dry. I am loved. May He expand my heart to be like His.

I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you. Psalm 63

Hope

2011-10-28T16:00:00.000+09:00

I spend time looking for hope. Really, I spend too much time looking, hoping for hope. Myra is a lovely child. She is our family's giver of joy but she is also our family's taker of joy. Her struggle with sensory processing/integration is overwhelming. Her issues with attachment are exhausting.

With her 3 year old birthday just around the corner, all the amazing Early Intervention Services coming to an end I started to panic. Mainstream preschool is not an option or a good option. She will be labeled as a bad kid with too much energy. Already people at church are starting to give me discipline advice....right, like I don't discipline her...please, if only.

She wishes she was just like Noah

Today, I attended Myra's DOE eligibility meeting for preschool. Everything I read online about eligibility meetings was frightening....confrontational, lacking child focus, budget concerned, just plain mean. I was sure Myra would not qualify for preschool. This was not the case today. So many people from Myra's support team attended the meeting to give their opinion. People that did not need to attend attended. The meeting only lasted 20 minutes. Myra qualified in three areas. There was a great, supportive, inclusive discussion. I almost started crying but stopped myself because I was not sure if it would ruin Myra's chances for preschool. Really, it was awesome to hear her therapists, behavioral aid and psychologist outline the case for Myra's needs and prospects for the future. Her psychologist is involved as a supervisor but has championed Myra's case from the beginning. Why Myra, why our family? I am thankful and in awe of this provision.

I feel like there might be a light. My load is definitely lighter. Sweet Myra has a place where she will belong just the way she is. Nothing like placing hope in publicly funded preschool huh???

rare kiss from my little bird

Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-15T17:04:00.000+09:00

Daddy's Plan

2011-08-22T16:52:00.000+09:00

Sometimes I have to be out of the picture for the day. Sometimes my kids need to know the plan for the whole day even when I'm in the picture. This is what we call "your plan:"

This way I can say, "go get your plan and you can find out what is happening next." I delay the questioning from every 5 minutes to every 20 minutes. Nice! If I'm lucky "the plan" might even remove the questions all together. Nicer!

Noah made Daddy a plan this afternoon during quiet reading time. I love that he is my son through and through. I love that he wrote Math, Language Arts and Reading and then decided to erase them for his preferred activities. I also love that he used the "w/"...seriously adorable.

Our Puggles

2011-08-15T15:58:00.000+09:00

Just saying...they're different but they're sisters to be sure.

Camo Belt

2011-07-16T17:26:00.000+09:00

The huge benefit of reaching your camo belt is sparing on Fridays. Noah is pretty awesome if you ask me!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-14T01:20:00.002+09:00

Play Practice

2011-07-05T16:19:00.000+09:00

Learning to be a family girl is hard work. Learning to be a little girl is equally hard. Alana is not ready to have a friend just yet, but the day will come. I long for her to be able to fit in when that day does come...whatever that means for her. Focusing on our relationship (Alana and me) and all the attachment junk that goes with it is wearisome. But I know that we need to trust, love, forgive, relate if she is going to be able to do that with others. As things get better or bigger between the two of us, I'm starting to see a future for her that looks bright!

For the past three months Alana has been going to what we call "play practice" with a girl from church on Wednesday for an hour. S is a preteen girl with a vivid imagination and some really awesome imaginary play skills. S also gets that Alana is unable to be like most girls her age and she's ok with that. She is kind, loving, and inclusive. She also does not allow Alana to set the terms of play or "take charge" of their time together. Last week they pretended to be princesses looking for a hidden treasure. The week before they were horses. They've played school, indians, animals and doll house. Alana comes home with ideas to put into practice with her siblings all week long. Alana leaves play practices feeling full and happy. It gives both of us hope for what is to come.

Seeing Eden and Myra pretend to be dogs, mama's, adult workers without a care in the world makes me wonder with sadness what happened to that time for Alana. What did she have to do instead of being a carefree little girl with all the time in the world to play. It strengthens my resolve to provide that time for her now in a non-threatening, joyful way. Play should be FUN and easy!

This summer, the three older kids are attending summer preschool...5 days a week through lunch! The preschool is run by the local community college and allows older children to attend up to age 8. There are only 12 kids in the program and 4 teachers. Eden gets to eat breakfast with the three and then we take a few hours respite each day. The teachers are amazing, wonderful, textbook fabulous! All three kids are making huge progress in their individual areas of weakness, but Alana has made some strides in attaching to her siblings, understanding family identity, and working together as a team. Her imaginary play has blossomed in more ways then I could have predicted. Noah and Alana can now play together for almost 45 minutes without adult intervention or adult check-ins. Alana is showing a growing capacity to care for the little ones in our family. She is beginning to see herself as the older, protector sister of the little one instead of one of the little ones. She is demonstrating an understanding of leadership and care. It is a dream come true.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-23T15:01:00.000+09:00

Chicks for Change

Can I please read on the Kindle?

2011-06-14T16:23:00.000+09:00

Home schooling the boy is very different from my experience with our girls. Noah is smart, resourceful, creative and gentle. Handwriting is his least favorite subject, but he will read for hours. The discipline of learning comes easy to him, and it is a joy to teach him. I want him to continue to enjoy learning even when we read books like 100 Dresses and Grandma's Attic. He loves to be like his Dad. Enter - The Kindle. Dad has a Kindle and Noah was ready to read like his Dad. He just finished reading his first book on the Kindle - it was AWESOME. He felt big, important and really, really, really cool. Huge bonus for me is no need to store hundreds of early chapter books. Just the thought of a reduction in book clutter gets me excited!

Sisters

2011-06-14T15:29:00.000+09:00

They're really cute and we just wanted to share them with you! Dainty Cheeks Boutique

The Difference

2011-06-06T14:55:00.000+09:00

We are reading The Wizard of Oz as a family right now and loving it. The kids play Oz themed play frequently throughout the day. Everyone is super curious to discover how Dorothy makes her way back to Kanas. Alana almost started crying when Dorothy missed the hot air ballon while fetching Toto. Noah's favorite character is recreate is the Lion...of course. One of the best parts of our day is reading around the kitchen table after breakfast while they color.

The original plan was to watch the movie after we finish the book but now I don't want to ruin it for them. I like that their Dorothy has brown skin and is a little girl not much bigger than Alana. Their version is so much better don't you think?

Happy Family Day

2011-06-01T16:06:00.000+09:00

Super fun Family Day gift for a girl living in Hawaii!

I love the way the heart can be healed, a life can be transformed, a person can be made new. The experience of witnessing this in my family is awesome. It fills me with wonder and delight. I want to stand up and shout it out. How awesome is our God? How mighty are His works? Look at my sweet daughter. Her transformation is awe inspiring. Happy Family Day little girl! We LOVE you...forever.

referral picture

May Day celebration at school

Bravest girl I know...

Wordless Wednesday

2011-05-25T16:31:00.000+09:00

Thursday Play Dates

2011-05-20T15:43:00.000+09:00

There are some major benefits to living in Hawaii. I really can't think of any negatives right now what with free shipping from Amazon and miles of perfect beaches.

But now that we have Audrey and Ephraim (not to mention Mr. A)...Hawaii is PERFECT! Check them out at www.goteamwolf.com

The new family in Uganda

Thursdays are our official play date days and we love THURSDAYS. Today we visited The Urban Garden. Not on any tourist must visit list but it should be. This place was amazing, wonderful and just the thing for a bunch of young kids and their conversation starved mamas. Clean bathrooms, cold water drinking fountains, endless creative play opportunities and NO crowds. Just amazing!

"E" at The Urban Garden

Kids hard at work gardening...they were fully engage for over 45 minute in this activity!