Forever Young

Adding another

2013-10-24T10:54:00.000+09:00

Our home study is approved...the world of social workers believes that we are capable and ready to parent another little one. Everyone is pretty excited. We are adopting an infant domestically through Bethany Christian Services. So far the process is pretty typical compared to our other 4 adoptions. We are doing a bit of fundraising this time around which is humbling and different from our other adoptions. Can't wait to see what God has planned for us.

Let the official waiting begin.

We have NO MORE babies

2013-09-04T09:21:00.001+09:00

Just finished the last package of night time diapers and took the last set of training wheels off...looks like it might be time for another little one around here!

First Day of School 2013/2014

2013-09-04T09:13:00.000+09:00

Alana and Noah are in 3rd grade. Myra and Eden are in K4.

I feel very confident in the school plan for this year. Alana and Myra are attending a small Christian school that uses Abeka. Alana will be in the girls' choir and take private piano lessons. Myra is working hard on following instructions and learning how to read.

Noah and Eden will home school using Classical Conversations. We are studying World history from pre-reformation to modern; European and World Geography; Ecology, Astronomy, and Physical Science; Pronouns, adverbs, conjunctions; Latin verb endings; Ephesians 6; Impressionist Artists; Classical & Romantic Composers. Noah is ready to really start some serious memorization and learning. Eden is learning how to read and how to recognize and use numbers.

I think it's going to be a great year for learning.

In a few short weeks...

2012-11-06T15:56:00.000+09:00

Change

2012-10-15T16:10:00.002+09:00

In the mood for a little reflection....

My Heart is Breaking

2012-10-12T17:53:00.000+09:00

"Mommy, Mommy, my heart is breaking, " said Eden
"Why is your heart breaking," said by me while driving to pick up Alana from school
"Because Jesus is not in it."
Pulling over, running out of the car, opening van door, "You know, you can pray to Jesus and ask him to be your savior right now."
"Jesus, you died on the cross for sin. Clean my heart. I love you."
"Eden!! I'm super excited to be in heaven with you one day!!?
"Me too! My heart IS clean too."

She's been sharing her conversion story with everyone she meets. "I'm going to be in heaven with Mommy and Daddy!" Yes, little one you will! I love Eden. I love AWANAS. And I LOVE Jesus.

Speaking of things I love - Classical Conversations. Our annual art show was today and everyone had a great time. Noah was most proud of his flying pirate ship with fire shooting out of the side. Eden liked her Giraffe painting the best.

Because sometimes you have a really good week

2012-10-01T16:39:00.001+09:00

Ja.ckie C.han mini me

Spirit Night at Friendship Christian School - Alana's Dream Come True - happy face hidden by mic

Teaching music theory to Eden - pleasure

Passports - finally all documents completed for their citizenship!

Big smile always - Myra
Alana is reading and singing from an old hymnal

Wrangler Woman #2

Growing so much all her dresses are now tunics

Crayfish examination at Classical Conversations this week - "super fun," said Eden

Lunch out with our best buddies - because it's Tuesday!

Eden may not have gross motor skills but she's got some made fine motor skills! Notice her name in the lower right :)

Family Photos

2012-09-26T17:32:00.001+09:00

Taking family photos is a favorite activity of mine. No one else seems to enjoy it as much as me ... or really at all. I figure I have one, maybe two, more photo shoots before everyone quits on me. With that in mind, I'm making the most out of the next one - be warned.

Stand in the Gap

2012-07-22T16:22:00.001+09:00

We need respite almost every weekend and EVERY day after school. Thing are hard for Miss B but not without hope. But the point of this post is not about Miss B's issues. It's about the families that have come along side us to stand in the gap.

There is no respite program in Hawaii. There is no other options outside of the "system" for kids when things are really, really hard. Foster care, residential care or .....nothing. It sucks.

We felt like we were without hope.

Feeling hopeless leads you to do things that you might not otherwise do...like ask for help. We started asking anyone who said they "had a HEART for adoption" to serve our family. And something AMAZING happened. Families started provide respite week after week for our family. They won't take our money. They won't let us clean their bathrooms. They just want to serve us. It's amazing.

Summer school ended on Friday. School does not start until August 2nd. That's 10 days people. Freaking out, but not really because we have a God provided STAND IN THE GAP family serving us in amazing ways.

Trauma sucks. Trauma can ruin families. Did a mention that trauma sucks? Stand in the gap for those that need it because they REALLY need it.

Love the Place You Live: Adventures in Art, Mililani, HI

2012-06-21T16:01:00.001+09:00

Adventures in Art is just that a adventurous, creative workshop for kids. Noah, Eden, Myra and Alana have all had the privilege of learning from Ms. Alison. Trains, space, monkeys, race cars are a few of the previous themes that were used to expose the kids to color theory, basic elements of art, basics of drawing, and elementary folk art. Eden has made some HUGE strides in discovering the power of her sharpie! Myra literally shakes with excitement when she realizes we are headed for art class. Both Noah and Alana have created some amazing works of art.

But today was the piece de resistance. Noah attended one of the many wonderful all day summer workshops. In 6 short hours he created his very own moving Darth Vader puppet.

When I arrived at 2:45pm to pick him up I witness a room full of elementary aged boys living out their very best day dreams. Light sabers, death grips, and endless battles were had by all. The puppets they created are nothing short of amazing.

If you are in Hawaii you really must take advantage of Ms. Alison's amazing talents by attending one of these excellent workshops. It might even be worth a special trip!

Self Care

2012-06-06T16:53:00.000+09:00

Things are not going well for some members of the family and this makes me really, really sad. For other members things are going really, really well and this makes me very happy. It seems somewhat impossible to continue to exist in this happy-sad state. But, there is no end in sight. I'm working a new plan for self care to increase energy in and hopefully minimize the affects of so much energy going out. This feels good.

The PLAN

Workout really hard this summer
Be less involved in the drama by using "good luck with that" and a sweet loving smile
Find a trauma mama that I can be friends with (suggestions?)
Make a great playlist that will fill my tank when things are super sucky (suggestions?)
Do FUN things with the members of the family that can handle the fun things and have a ton of fun
Let others help as much as they are willing to help and even ask them to do more than they might initially be comfortable with

This weekend Noah was on his mainland trip with Meme and Coco. He got to attend my cousin's wedding and visit with my sister and her FUN boys. He is big and growing bigger each time I talk to him on the phone. In 20 minutes he will be 18 year old.

Alana has been participating in a month long (maybe longer) respite care program provided for by our amazing church family. She gets to spend the weekends with some wonderful families, learn new skills and take a BIG break from family life. She is having fun and sometimes I think her heart might be cooling off or warming up or something in the positive direction of rejoining the family on the weekends. Brian and I needed space to help us make a better plan for her safety and development. I'm thankful that there were families willing to stand in the gap for us.

Monday I was going to start 8 weeks of intense workouts...my car broke down and I was stuck at home. I still worked out but it was no where close to "intense." A small set back that came close to sending me to crazy town. Alana started summer school at the local christian school. I feel good about this decision and maybe even a little hopeful. She is at school for a large portion of the day to help her better cope with life. Yes, I am that Mom that sends her child to school ALL DAY LONG...and I feel ok about it. I knew I needed to do #5 on the list to end the day strong. So, we played with dish soap and buckets in the front yard after lunch until nap time. It was FUN and we all laughed.

Today, my car was back to normal and my workout was great. The child care at the gym was fun for the girls and I felt good leaving them there together. The gym was full of nice, happy people and I did not have to wait for equipment. My body was happy to be in use and my mind was clear. I took the girls swimming after my workout for an hour and filled their fun tanks to over flowing.

This afternoon was the first day of ballet class for my little girls. I'm positive that I was the most excited participate in this activity. It was delightful to see Myra dancing her heart out. An awesome work reward!

Myra, of course, ruined her tights 3 minutes after class had finished. Who needs tights in Hawaii, anyways!

I feel better about not feeling great already. Seriously, it was much easier to make eye contact and speak with a loving tone... and actually mean it most of the time. Yay for self care!

Interview with Eden

2012-06-01T12:48:00.002+09:00

FAVORITE COLOR - Red
FAVORITE BOOK - Books about horses
FAVORITE SUBJECT - Cutting Tape with her blue scissors
FAVORITE SONG - Jesus Loves Me
FAVORITE FOOD - Candy
FAVORITE MOVIE - Dora
FAVORITE TOY - Horsie
FAVORITE TV SHOW - Dora
FAVORITE FAMOUS PERSON - Dora
FAVORITE BEACH - White Plains
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? - Doctor or Army
WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND - Mommy
FAVORITE THING TO DO AS A FAMILY - Camping in a Tent
FAVORITE PLACE TO GO AS A FAMILY - The Beach
FAVORITE THING TO DO AFTER SCHOOL - Snack Time
FAVORITE GAME TO PLAY WITH Myra - Dolls
FAVORITE GAME TO PLAY WITH Alana - Scooters

An Interview with Myra

2012-06-01T12:07:00.001+09:00

FAVORITE COLOR - Green

FAVORITE BOOK - Panda Palace

FAVORITE SUBJECT - The Schedule

FAVORITE SONG - Puggles' Theme Song

FAVORITE FOOD - Strawberries and candy

FAVORITE MOVIE - Letter Factory

FAVORITE TOY - Baby Cakes

FAVORITE TV SHOW - YO Gaba Gaba

FAVORITE FAMOUS PERSON - Mr. Jeff (her preschool teacher)

FAVORITE BEACH - Oneula Beach Park

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? - Dancer or a Bunny

WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND - Ms. Joyce

FAVORITE THING TO DO AS A FAMILY - Tent camping

FAVORITE PLACE TO GO AS A FAMILY - KROC's Center

FAVORITE THING TO DO AFTER SCHOOL - Nap

FAVORITE GAME TO PLAY WITH Eden - Tea Party

FAVORITE GAME TO PLAY WITH Noah - Police

Happy Family Day Myra

2012-05-27T18:48:00.001+09:00

Sometimes we tease Myra and call her Sweet One or Little Mama. She is always quick to remind us, "No, no, I'm Myra Young. Nice to meet you (right hand extended)"

She sleeps on the top bunk with her Opa and little sister below

She is on the verge of exploding the code and reading!! Super excited to see this happen in the next couple of months.

Her best friend is our neighbor Ms. Joyce. They go out for dinner dates at McDonald's twice a month.

TV time is her favorite time of the day.

She love real work like taking the trash out, washing the walls and vacuuming the upstairs.

She wants "princess hair" every morning and will pick a dress over shorts every day of the week.

Our family would not be complete without her. Happy Family Day Myra Young.

iphone Friday

2012-05-12T11:57:00.001+09:00

Tuesday Night Dinner

2012-05-10T16:33:00.000+09:00

Recently I've taken on the responsibility of Tuesday night dinners. I know most of you cook for your families every night of the week, but I live a privileged life and only cook dinner on Saturday (breakfast for dinner) and Sunday (cereal). And if the truth be told, Brian cooks on Saturday. Until now! Alana is participating in a soccer clinic on Tuesday afternoons which precipitated the need for a stand in cook (Meme - our resident chef volunteered to drive A to her clinic).

Meme still plans the meal and writes detailed instructions for me:

The instruction are simple and easy to follow. There is usually a place in the instructions that I start to worry. This week I started to worry at the "add beans, then add water two inches above beans, boil 1 hour." Usually, when I have to turn the stove on something goes wrong. One hour is a long time.

What can I say...I burned the beans and almost started a fire.

Meme, of course, had a back up meal planned in case I ruin the first choice. No one went hungry. Can't wait for next week to see what I'm able to create.

Wordless Wednesday

2012-04-12T07:49:00.000+09:00

The stones will cry out!

2012-04-02T16:17:00.000+09:00

"They proclaimed: 'Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the LORD.'"

Back to School

2012-03-20T10:54:00.000+09:00

We made it and we had fun doing it! Thanks for all the encouragement. Today, we are back to school and everyone seems happy to have a solid routine again. Myra's school picture came home with her today and we are dying with her cuteness. Seriously!

Loosing Steam and My Plan to Finish Strong

2012-03-16T17:53:00.001+09:00

Wednesday was not exactly like I hoped it would go. The weather was cold and paint your own pottery was too far of a drive to make all the other things on the day's list possible. Bowling seemed like a good idea and I was thankful that I thought to make back-up plans just in case. When I called the week prior to confirm that the bowling alley was open they promised it was open everyday from 9am to 2pm. But I forgot to ask if we would be allowed to bowl. Seemed to be obvious that you would mention lane closers times due to the Senior League this to callers, but I guess not. I started to panic in the parking lot but then just took a few very deep breaths and made a new plan. I'm cool. I'm capable. I can change plans. Not so much for the other team members plus we had no friends to join us.
Alana and I met with a new therapist in the afternoon. I was hopeful that he might be a good fit for us. Finding a good therapist is harder than I thought I would be. It's really, really hard. The interview process is not fun and I'm starting to think I should just give up. This therapist's plan is to divide our weekly hour up into two section. First section, we meet as a family and talk about the stuff from that past week. Second section, Alana meets alone with him to talk about her plan for the next week and anything else they need to talk about. I asked how he would handle passing along the information shared during that alone time. He stated that I was entitled to know every word but he was NOT going to share any of it with me. Then he turned to Alana and made a big point to her that what she shared with him would be a secret. I have many things to say about this but bottom line this just doesn't seem right. All the current attachment research would suggest that attachment therapy needs to be family based. Right? I wish I could watch a video of a great therapy session. On this video the parents would ask hard questions and the therapist would answer with thoughtful insights. Then I would be able to see how a session works. Where everyone is supposed to sit. What we should wear. I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to expect out of therapy. Where is this manual? The best help we've received so far on this journey is from Christine Moers. She is very available and has practical things to share. She was encouraging and helpful and totally worth the $40/hr.

Today was great. We had an all-morning-long play date in the country. We played outside in the mud and I think everyone but Myra really, really enjoyed themselves. It was about 3 hours too long for Myra, but she pushed through like a champ and took a 4 hour nap when we got home. It was such a great morning that I totally spaced Eden's urology appointment that was super hard to get and will take another 2 months to get again! Sometimes I feel like I'm not allowed to have fun. There is always some major, uncomfortable consequence for relaxing.

One more day and I think we will finish without major incident. I've invited a friend to join us for paint your own pottery in the morning. Cleaning at home seems like I'm asking for a fight...right? I can clean next week or the next or the next. Brian is taking the afternoon off so I can attend the local home school conference. The kids are excited to play games and go to the park with him in the afternoon. I'm even planning on getting my hair cut at a legit salon in the evening. You know, the kind where you feel bad for not waxing your eyebrows in the last three months and all of a sudden you see how bad you've let things get. I can't wait!

Tuesday Art

2012-03-14T16:52:00.000+09:00

Is this not the best picture of Myra? What a giver of joy. She is really starting to love life again. Her sadness and despair are passing away. She is finding her voice and it is wonderful.

Art today was fun. Meme described me as being a bit over the top. I described myself as in my element. It was really, really fun.

We finished the morning with some yum, yum, yummy dukboki. Delish! We are almost to the midway point and I'm thankful for that. Alana is starting to show signs of caving in but we are going to finish strong.

Monday in picture

2012-03-13T17:50:00.000+09:00

7 kids, one minivan and one mama. I love hiking, and I've developed a coping strategy when I hike with kids. I pretend their whining and crying is singing. It works great. Today, the crew complained the whole way to the summit and then race down as fast as they could to the car with HUGE smiles on their faces. We lost Sarah and Ruth for 15 minutes. I was just at the point where I was going to call the police when we spotted them. Sarah was helping Ruth use the bathroom like a good big sister. We practiced sharing our location with everyone after that. My blood pressure is still high. You can total your friend's car but you cannot loose their children. I decided to order fruit punch at lunch because I'm a fun mom. $20 of fruit punch later I've decided I'm no longer a fun mom. Everyone loved the punch so I guess for the first day of Spring Break 2012 it was sort of worth it. All in all we had a blast and can't wait for tomorrow's adventure.

Spring Break

2012-03-12T17:31:00.000+09:00

Spring Break is a field FULL of land mines this year and I'm scared. But I have a plan and I'm sharing it here to help keep things real. Spring Break is going to be fun and we will make some positive memories of being family girls and boys. We live in Hawaii for crying out loud.

Monday - Makapuu Lighthouse hike with friends. This is a good idea because hard physical labor disguised as fun is awesome. Myra will have every opportunity to be at her best. Alana will be with friends. Eden gets to wear her tennis shoes - dream come true since we only own 4 pairs of socks collectively and Eden rarely gets to be the one using them. Noah will hopefully find a stick to play the part of light saber. It's going to be great.

Lunch at the Counter will be delish and should send everyone off into a long afternoon nap.

Tuesday - Alana has testing for next year's grade placement all morning. When she returns, we will make a Butterfly Work of Art with friends. And if you can believe it, I've already purchased 90% of the supplies. The stuff I don't have we can fake it with other stuff I do have. This might actually happen.

In the afternoon we will either go bowling or swimming. Choices.

Wednesday - Paint Your Own Pottery at Hickam AFB. It's super cheap and will take up a good part of the morning. Plus as a bonus the kids will have something they can gift or share with someone they love. Perfect for Lent if you ask me.

Thursday - Play date with our friend's at their little farm...they have a zip line (Myra will be in heaven). They also have a ton of animals and a big, huge yard with bugs, dirt, and compost pile (Noah will be in heaven). It will be great fun.

Friday - Last day of Spring Break and the first day of the CHOH Conference. This will be a day at home to clean, rest and prepare for school. We will work really, really hard in the morning and watch a movie with popcorn in the afternoon. I still need a good movie that both the big kids and the little kids will enjoy. If you have a favorite family pleaser do share.

There you have it: Spring Break 2012 in Hawaii. I will report back and let you know how it all turns out.

Friday - Hour by Hour

2012-02-24T22:50:00.000+09:00

7:01 am Wake up with Noah next to me in bed. Brian is out of town which is sad and lonely for us all. But Noah and I always sleep together when he is out of town. He loves it and so do I. Eden joined us last night because she could not sleep and spent most of the night playing on the floor in my room.

7:10 am Wake Myra and Alana up for school. Myra is ready to go as soon I turn the handle on her bedroom door. Alana moves slower but not by much. Everyone pretty much has their routine down. Myra knows get dress, do hair, take water bottle down stairs, eat breakfast, wash hands. Alana has a work agenda and gets busy right away. Noah and Eden take the morning VERY slowly and usually do not make it downstairs until everyone else is done with breakfast.

7:37 am Kiss Alana good bye at the back door and make sure she leaves safely on her bike. Instruct Myra for the 100th time to get into the car. She gets into the car only to announce that she needs to go poop. Back to the house.

7:55 am Leave with Myra, Noah and Eden to drop Myra off at school

8:15 am Home school P.E. This week was prep for the Presidential Fitness Test and Soccer.

11:00 am Noah's art class. This is a new addition to our schedule but we like it and I think will continue going for several more months.

12:30 pm Lunch at Starbucks with Noah and Eden because I'm rich

1:30 pm Piano practice for Noah back at home

2:00 pm Pick Myra up from school. Feed her snack in car...totally unsuccessful, but she was happy today.

2:30 pm Alana home from school and we start our 2 hours of quiet time. Today, I took a fat nap. It was wonderful.

4:00 pm Alana practices piano and does her 30 minutes of read. The little girls have snack and watch TV for 20 minutes. Noah plays with friends in front yard.

4:45 pm Eden and I work on attachment. She reminds me that she was in my tummy. This is her favorite story to tell right after "My Daddy is in the Army." It makes people uncomfortable when she tells it in public. I just smile and tell her, "No, little one, you grew in your tummy mommy's tummy but if you did grow in my tummy I would have counted down the days until I got to meet you..." This is a sweet and wonderful fairy tale and we both love it. She also refused to wear a shirt this afternoon.

5:00 pm Noah and Myra play with the neighbors in the back yard. Myra sporting the latest fashion at our house: jeggings paired with a hambok top.

5:30 pm I watch Andrew make an AWESOME dinner for our first Friday of Lent. Salmon encrusted with mustard panco paired with lentils and green beans. Delish.

6:30 pm Bath, PJ's, read books, kiss everyone and off to bed

7:00 pm I get to leave for small group. I'm really loving our small group and can't wait to see how we grow and change this year.

10:30 pm Blog

11:00 pm Bed...wishing Brian would Skype but no luck tonight.

School

2012-02-24T16:48:00.000+09:00

We are finally hitting a groove with what I think school will look like for us for the next couple of months (wanted to say years but you know). To recap, in August we started with 2 preschoolers, a first grader and a second grader attending our home school. It was an idea that worked great in my head and was a total failure in reality.

Here we are in all our home schooling glory

In September, Myra started attending a home preschool at our neighbor's house 4 half-days a week. This small change helped everyone as we started Classical Conversations (CC). CC Hawaii is a great co-op and we LOVE it. The material is easy to use while maintaining high standards. I get to teach the same information to all my children, and there is no need to spend $$$ on books and supplies that I never really use anyways. The community is the best part of the co-op. We have all found best buddies through CC. We leave each Thursday meeting with big smiles on our faces. I tutor and get paid. It's a win win as far as I'm concerned.

CC art show during first quarter

In November, Myra turned 3 and no longer qualified for Early Intervention Services. We applied for DOE preschool and services to help Myra continue to get all that she needed. We were accepted and Myra started public special education on her third birthday. Happy Birthday birdie. Full day school including her first nap. This long time away from Myra made the day flow so much smoother but Myra was a disaster when she came home every night. Really, really bad. Things are MUCH better now and she is even showing some huge improvement in many of her social skills. I visited last week and was so encouraged by what I saw. The program is safe, clean, structured and caring. What more can I ask for?

Eden started attending the neighbor's home preschool. She was a bit worried about the whole thing but one day a week seemed to be a great fit for her. She loved the big girl feeling of the whole experience.

Our school girl

In December, we took a short break from school to focus on Advent and Christmas. It was fun to have everyone home ALL-DAY-LONG but the lack of structure was a big problem for a few of us. Breaks are important for everyone but I'm not quite sure how to take a break from school and not the structure it provides throughout the day. Myra started taking medicine to help with her behavior right before Christmas. It is/was the answer to our prayers. She is able to do SO MUCH more. More than I ever thought would be possible. I was the parent the shamed others for putting their little children on medication. Why could they not just change their diet, work harder, do more therapy, be better parents? Sometimes those things just do not work. Sometimes your sweet child needs more. Myra is one of those that needs more, and we are so thankful that there is more!!

January was mostly cool until things totally fell apart. Alana's birthday was a major trigger. I had a HARD time forgiving for the big, MAJOR, huge blow up. School quickly fell apart after my attitude and big feelings would not soften. We started with a new therapist who I think is going to be good. Eden stopped liking her one day a week preschool and decided to quit. I, of course, indulged her because she is my baby and I can really only handle one blow up a week.

In February, Alana stopped home schooling, family girl living, and being nice. It's been really, really hard. But we are in it and it WILL get better. We decided it would be the best idea to allow her to go to public school. 60 days left in the year...got to love it that they have to allow her to attend. I am so thankful I am not a public school teacher. Impossible job. Noah, Eden and I are loving home school and Alana and Myra are loving public school Things are much more peaceful for the most part and I don't feel so angry all the time. Noah is mostly happy because he gets to use the iPod for his memory work now. He said, "I'm just like an adult now...only I don't know how to put movies on this thing yet." Oh how I love that boy.

I'm hopeful that March will usher in some healing and some learning. I'm armed with a new bottle and a cozy rocking chair for all those willing to work on attachment (Myra is all over the bottle offer). I bought a new book today on how to teach to help keep things mentally exciting for me. We have a field trip to Pearl Harbor planned for Monday. It's going to be a good week!