Running Through My Head

Paying Forgiveness Forward

2016-08-15T09:58:00.001-04:00

Some might argue that I am rigid to my notes. I disagree. When I speak, I'll admit, that I have a very good idea where I am going, but it seems like each time I preach, God takes me 'off the page' and gives me something I wish I would have written down. Yesterday was no exception

I was in the section describing how Jesus does not 'count our sins' against us, but reconciles them to his blood. I was reminded of the hymn, "there is a fountain filled with blood" and the Spirit gave me this picture of what Jesus does in reconciling our sins to the blood, to his role as our propitiation. It's like the aftermath of a tornado. Everything around us is debris. Jesus stands in the middle of it with a basket, and he picks up certain things. He is very specific in what he is looking for. Slowly and methodically he walks the chaos, picking up sheets of paper and placing it into his basket. In the end, he takes all of papers, a full basket, and he dumps them into that fountain. They are swallowed up in the blood. He walks away and continues the process.

I then saw a picture of Aaron in the aftermath. Aaron is a whole lot different than Jesus. Aaron just wants to clean it up. Aaron just wants his life back. Aaron collected things which he too put into the basket, but Aaron held on to them. Aaron justified it by saying that He was entitled to. Aaron said he would never forget. Aaron dumped them into piles and organized them. Aaron never took them to the blood.

SO - Aaron is called to the ministry of reconciliation. 1 Cor 5 says so plainly and clearly that we are to be reconciled to God and each other... Do you wonder if you can be right with God and be at odds with men?

What can we do? We quit holding onto our piles of debris. We quit organizing them into life events and retaining the right to be hurt, disappointed and angry. We follow the example of Jesus. Let us take our hurt to the blood. Fill our basket with all the slander, lies and offenses and dump it into the fountain.

The same blood that took your sins is the same blood that takes the sins against you.

When the blood consumes the hurt, then God can truly do a clean up that restores everything.
So in the same manner as you have been forgiven...forgive.
Let's pay it forward in words and actions.

Thanks for reading,
Aaron

It Is Well

2016-08-02T08:02:00.002-04:00

Well it's 12 hours before we put our life on a truck. As I sit here, in the quiet this morning, I think about especially these past 2 years of my life. I have experienced some of the darkest, scariest moments of my life. I have experienced the loss of friendships and betrayal. I have confronted my own mortality and faced a picture of what the life of those who I love would be like without me. I have seen the church do things which have left deep scars...

I have wondered where is my justice.

Today in 12 hours I put my life on a truck. I put my life on a truck because the moments ahead are brighter than the moments behind. I see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel and am reminded that "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, You are with me." (Psalm 23:4). I am reminded that, "The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?" (psalm 27:1). I am further reminded, "I will never leave you or forsake you, the Lord is my helper and I need not be afraid. What can man do to me?" (Heb 13:5-6)

Today in 12 hours I put my life on a truck. I have made a decision. Regardless of what other people may do and how they may handle to love which I try to give them, I will not change for the hurt I experience. I will not allow those who have set me aside to cause me to withhold in the future for fear of further rejection. I can't. Paul wrote, "in your relationships with others, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus...who made Himself nothing." (Phil 2:5&7). Jesus said, Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friend." (John 15:13).

Today in 12 hours I put my life on a truck. 2 years ago I was told I may die. Since that point I have undergone 2 surgeries, a dozen cardiologist visits. Several trips to an electrophysiologist. I have been told what to eat. I have been told what I can do or can't. I have seen my health reports all over the page. Yet, God has given me strength. This morning God has given me a verse to speak of His future for me, "Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;" (Psalm 27:14). He also reminds me of the "hope and future" of Jeremiah 29:11.

Today in 12 hours I put my life on a truck. I acknowledge that the church has hurt me. I acknowledge that I have been angry, bitter, caustic and short. I was ready to quit...ready to join the legions who considered the church as a beast which feeds on good people who simply were trying their best. I bled all over anyone who would listen, and many didn't know what to do with the spiritual surgeon who had experienced his own violent crime. Yet several grabbed their sutures and some even went as far as to 'hold me down" and help stop the bleeding. Others prayed fervently not willing to see me give up and die. In both cases, you mattered, and I will never forget the words, prayers, confrontations and the gentle touch. You did your job! "Bear up on another burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" (Gal 6:2)

Even before I get on that truck, I realize something...justice has come. I may not have seen those I believe guilty pronounced such, but that's not for me to worry about. The Message encouraged me with his, "Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.” (Romans 12:17-19)

Justice has come in this way. God has taken all of what has occurred and offered me a settlement. For the pain and suffering you have experienced, and because you dealt with the 'stuff' that came up as a result of it, I know can offer you settlement from the accounts of Heaven. So, I choose to give you a church that is a fantastic opportunity. I choose to sell your home in less than 2 weeks. I choose to confirm My will in signs and wonders. I choose to let you leave your home making a profit in the sale. I choose to expand your territory. I choose to open doors that man tried to close. I choose to remind you that your future excellence will be your protest.

So in 12 hours I put my life on a truck, praising God for the past two years, hearing in my spirit the words of Horatio Spofford (the write of the hymn It is well).

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Thank you all for helping my family and I to stand...
We continue to covet your prayers.

When God Moves

2016-03-15T08:46:00.001-04:00

When God Moves
By Aaron Peternel

There are many things which the church believes, but do we practice them to the level of our knowledge? As an example, we see in the Scripture many stories about how God comes through for His people, yet do we live with the expectation that God will come through for us? How many times do we embrace the logic of a loan or immediate confrontation instead of seeking God's face and waiting on the Lord to deliver what He has promised?

God's promises are always resolved. We can have confidence in that. One of His most overwhelming promises, in my view, is expressed through the prophet Jeremiah in Lamentations 2:22 - 23, "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning." This speak to me of how each day God awakens us with hope for our future. No matter what yesterday has been, today exists with new hope and tomorrow will be hope compounded.

The writer of the book of Hebrews spoke of a God who said, "5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" Hebrews 13:5. We see here two promises, one veiled, and one pronounced. The one veiled speaks of a God who will provide your every need financially. The one pronounced speaks of a God who will never leave you defenseless, to take care of life on your own.

I post these promises because they often are acknowledged academically yet forgotten applicationally. When we face crisis,where we often feel and neglect thinking, many times we engage logic and reason and attempt to find a solution to our problem. We furthermore will move to try to apply our wisdom which often leads us to deeper discontent. If we would only wait on God to deliver in His time, would we see a similar story as Ezra?

1 In the first year of Cyrus king of Persia, in order to fulfill the word of the Lord spoken by Jeremiah, the Lord moved the heart of Cyrus king of Persia to make a proclamation throughout his realm and also to put it in writing:

2 “This is what Cyrus king of Persia says:

“‘The Lord, the God of heaven, has given me all the kingdoms of the earth and he has appointed me to build a temple for him at Jerusalem in Judah. 3 Any of his people among you may go up to Jerusalem in Judah and build the temple of the Lord, the God of Israel, the God who is in Jerusalem, and may their God be with them. 4 And in any locality where survivors may now be living, the people are to provide them with silver and gold, with goods and livestock, and with freewill offerings for the temple of God in Jerusalem.’” Ezra 1: 1-4

Under the prophet Jeremiah, God has promised the Israelites that their time in Exile would be 70 years. The time had now ended. In true fashion, God began to stir the hearts of the people to embrace a new move, but the people were not the only ones. In verse 1 we see that God impressed a pagan king to release the Israelites to return home. He essentially was releasing captives to freedom. Note that the Hebrews did not have to fight for it. They did not have to conspire and strategize to achieve it. It was solely an issue of God's will in God's timing.

God was content to see the people changed through discipline. God was also content to restore them from their pain. We serve a God who disciplines to restore, not for the sake of simply punishing. The restoration would be based upon one thing, "Go back and make my name central to your daily life." If Israel did this, they would be favored.

The third thing I found inspiring is how God funded the work. We live in a business world, "You have to spend money to make money." While it may apply to business, should the same logic apply to the church or should the church see God do the impossible through them using simply His means? I plant that seed for your thinking.
What is fascinating about this instance, and truly most instances Biblically, is that when God is ready for the people to move He inspires the hearts of the gentiles to invest in it. (See also the exodus from Egypt and the building of the temple.)

So will it be man's logic, or a heart which has heard God and responded to His timing?
Maybe the issue is more clouded than that, and they are not mutually exclusive. In a Christian world who seems too often to defer to mans thinking, in everything from politics to business practices, I simply believe I should issue this reminder...

20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, 21 to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21

r wil

Don't Fight Destiny

2015-07-02T10:10:00.001-04:00

Don't Fight Destiny
By Aaron Peternel

About 300 years ago a collective body of theologians and scholars came together to determine why man exists. In what is known as the Shorter Westminster Catechism they wrote, "The chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever."

Some think that to glorify God means that they must be elevated to figuratively their name must be in lights. Some think that glorifying God means that in response to their service He will not allow for hardships to be a part of their existence. Perhaps both of these can at times be true, but for many people they can be horribly false. What of the people who live in China, or North Korea? These people experience some of the worst persecution in the world for their faith yet make some of the greatest impact for Christ despite its. They will toil in anonymity. They will live day to day trying to scrape together a living and feed their families. If glorifying God meant only these things, wouldn't it be right for them to feel cheated; God has abandoned them?

Yet according to statistics, it is in the areas of the world which experience greatest persecution and whose people have the greatest suffering that Christianity is flourishing. While here in America where Christianity has a wide open door, we are closing more churches than we open. We are arguing more about money than ministry. We are toasting the end of the world at the hint of coming persecution.

Could it be possible that we are spoiled? Have American Christians forgotten that their lives and existence belongs to God and their role is to glorify Him in the manner and means He chooses, not in our own preconceived ideas?

Has God created some to suffer that His message may be released?

In Acts 6 -7 we see the story of Stephen, a man chosen by the church to serve tables so that the Apostles could devote their time to prayer and preaching. Stephen's name was certainly not elevated as he served food to widows and children, yet we see that the credibility he earned brought him into direct confrontation with the 'leaders of the day' who used every nasty trick in the book to discredit him.

Stephen endured ridicule. Stephen's integrity was attacked. To all of these things he did not counter, but instead chose to accept his role in that moment and do the work of the Lord. It wasn't wonderful. It wasn't glamorous. It was one man who God armed with truth standing against the mob. It would cost Him his life.

Yet in the end we remember the story of Stephen. Some could argue that His testimony of truth telling and willingly surrendering himself to a destiny that no one wanted was a spark to trigger a fire in the pharisee Saul. We know that later he would meet Jesus, and would surrender himself to a bitter destiny as well. The thing about Paul is that he wrote 2/3 of the new testament, and if I am correct, Stephen's story echoed throughout Paul's words.

Without Stephen embracing that He existed to glorify God even to his death, there would have been no Paul. Without Paul, who would have taken the gospel message to the Gentiles, of which many of us are a part. The fact that we have the Word and we have relationship with Jesus Christ, seems to go back to a man not afraid to wait on tables, and not afraid to glorify God with his last measure of devotion.

The words of the chorus "Heart of Worship' go, "I'm sorry Lord for the thing Ive made it'. Every time I sing that line, I think of my failures before God and how this one of believing I deserve greater because...might just be one of the biggest.

I exist to glorify God and enjoy him forever, and "God is God and I am not." May I rest in His sovereign will and accept my destiny as His means to His end...

You Can't Go Back

2015-06-13T08:52:00.000-04:00

You Can't Go Back
By Aaron Peternel

A year ago last night I fought my hardest battle with God. I had just received the diagnosis of cardiomyopathy. I was told by one that I qualified for hospice care. I was told by another that I would have to learn to accept a 'new normal.' That night I screamed at God with everything inside me. I raged that He would inflict this upon me. Why are you doing this God? What did I do to deserve it?

I went from these moments to being very introspective. I looked hard at my life that night. I looked hard at what I thought was important and where I had prioritized my goals and my time. I realized that I had made very common mistakes. I had put my family second to my job. I had elevated the church and the goals I saw as necessary as more important that the people. I had made life more about truth versus about love. As my time of being introspective came to a close, I beat myself up. I considered myself a failure. That night I was convinced that all the work I had put forward amounted to nothing. I would die and have nothing to say for my life.

I argued with God. All I had wanted was for the church to embrace the community around it. I wanted to break down attitudes formed in racism. I wanted to see people discipled and embracing new ideas so that the church could move forward. I wanted to hire a diverse team of men who would join with me to take these hills together. I had goals and plans and a reason to live. Why would God inflict this upon me?

That night the Lord spoke to my heart and showed me something that I hadn't seen before. He showed me that when I was in Monongahela, I was kind of like Spock on the starship Enterprise. I had been offered my own church yet had turned down the opportunity to continue my work there. Then the call came and I was 'promoted' to my first senior pastorate. That night God helped me understand that the reason I was promoted had little to do with what I could bring to the table, but more so what His plan was for me there.

After 5 years of pastoring, I realized the awesome cost that had to be paid to lead a church in culture change. This had not been easy. It had cost us a lot of people. It had caused us a lot of pain as God stretched both pastor and parish to accept something outside of their comfort zone. I was tired, my family was hurting, yet I stayed on for the one simple reason that the mission was not done and God had spoken to my heart that I must remain committed until I was certain my role in it had ended. I never thought that this diagnosis would spell the beginning of the end.

God spoke to me clearly that night that I was called from Monongahela because I had tabled off (no place to grow) , and here I had come to a place where I had tabled off again. He spoke to my heart that now I needed to learn a new thing and the only way this could be understood was through suffering. I didn't think meant it was the end of my time in the church I was pastoring, but soon we would know that it was in the best interest of all involved if we would resign.

That was a very difficult decision and the aftermath very painful. It seemed like every time we would start to heal another issue would surface and the scab would be ripped off yet again. Remember during this time I was not simply dealing with church and career stress, but I was dealing with heart disease, new drugs, surgeries and treatment which had at the time only marginal effects. Sarah and I were also dealing with a lot of uncertainties but also broken relationships. There were people we loved very deeply who decided that they could no longer continue a relationship with us. In our minds we were abandoned by the very people who we believed loved us ,in a time when we needed them the most. Furthermore it wasn't just the issue of being abandoned, it was the issue of the verbal cruelty and slander of what was said, and the inconsistency of what was done.

We were blindsided. Whether one could look at us and say 'you caused this', wouldn't matter. What was done by people we had a long history with we saw as nothing short of cruel betrayal. We can look at friends, leaders, christian counselors and find a similar pattern. The result is that the whole support structure we had came crashing down around us.

And we were alone.

For months I was driven by rage. For months I was driven to right this injustice, though my only venue was upwards. Unfortunately that door was closed, and the next step upwards in my belief chose to not deal with it. Ultimately I felt disenfranchised from my denomination with the exception of three strong pastors who spoke into my life and gave me ear to grieve. I am forever grateful to them.

The last straw came when a christian counselor we were seeing sent a report to leaders which was nothing short of breaking confidences. It did have its good point though, after seeing what was done I realized that the fight was over and I had lost.

And so I was left holding onto all of this, trying to make sense of repeated senseless situations. I know I was not a perfect pastor. I asked a lot of questions like these:

I know that there were flaws in my approach, but should I be destroyed for that? Was this a spiritual battle? Were the perpetrators of these things used by Satan? Was I being punished? Why was I spiritually abandoned? God are you treating me like Job? God am I failing you?

And then I realized, non of these were the right questions. The better questions are these:

Are You sovereign in my life or am I? Are You teaching me to surrender to Your sovereignty? Am I so independent that I am more harm than good? Are You teaching me submission? Do I trust in myself at the expense of the Spirit's leading? Are You teaching me to be led? Was I so confident in my persuasive ability that you had to remove people from me to learn its not me but You who really makes a lasting mark?

I see now that my first set of questions deals with my past, but the second set focuses on the future. I know now that I can not change the past. What has been done is over, and God has made it clear to me that I can not go back to those questions because in them is self justification, defensiveness, and anger. He asks me who is sovereign, and then encourages me that He will not forget about what was...that its His job to bring vindication.

It's my job to put the next obedient step forward.

Life has ben so different these last months as a 'new normal' has been our reality. I am glad the new normal is not what the doctors expected. Prayer has impacted my body, and I am blessed to not be controlled by cardiomyopathy.

I have found a measure of peace, and God has given me direction as to what He wants me to do right now. He has encouraged me to take my family's story and turn it from pain to praise. I am writing a book about how God wants all believers to live as overcomers. It is our story of cancer scares to broken hearts, and how you can overcome in the midst.

Saturday night my cousins wife died. While I didn't know her well, I saw that she left behind 5 children and my heart grieved. I thought of how easily it could have been me, the children left behind, mine. At her memorial service I had the opportunity to speak to my cousin and what i took away made the whole trip worth it for God spoke so profoundly to me that...

Maybe the new normal is better than the old. Maybe God doesn't want eus to return to that past way of life...no matter how rich and right at times it was...

All our job is, is to take the next obedient step forward...

Phil 3:13-14 "13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

Amen and Amen

Have We Quenched The Spirit?

2015-06-10T11:22:00.003-04:00

Have We Quenched the Spirit?
By Aaron Peternel

I have been at various stops along the path of the church and Christendom. My parents had us worshipping as Assemblies of God adherents primarily, but we had stop overs in everything from the Baptist church to the Christian Church of North America. For myself and my immediate family, we have worshipped as Free Methodists since 2002.

It's interesting to see how each sect of Christianity has addressed the person and work of the Holy Spirit. To some, He is the life blood of the Christian walk. In another, He is seen as God yet rarely emphasized. In yet another, His work is seen as synonymous to the salvation and there is much misunderstanding of how He is given to truly bring out as John 10:10 says, "Life to the full."

Let us be certain of a few things. The Holy Spirit is not the active force of God. He is God, in the same manner as Jesus is God. The Holy Spirit is a being tasked with a specific role toward humanity, a role distinctly different from both the Father and the Jesus. While I could write for weeks on this role, allow me to summarize it for brevity and simplicity.

1. The Holy Spirit leads us to Christ for salvation. 1 Cpr 12:13 "For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body--whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free--and we were all given the one Spirit to drink."

2. The Holy Spirit serves Jesus by teaching us about Him. John 14:26 But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

3. The Holy Spirit gives us the power to overcome sin and walk in victory. Ephes 3:16 - 19 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

4. The Holy Spirit gives life changing power to, both our words...: Acts 1:8 "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

...BUT also to our actions: Romans 8:11 "And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you."

Thus He gives us the power to say yes to God and no to sin.

5. The Holy Spirit gives gifts meant for the edification of the body of Christ. Romans 12:6 "We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us."

I titled this writing, Have We Quenched the Spirit. I have been a pastor over 17 years and have heard all sorts of comments to how 'church' is done. This one says that church is too long; this one too short. This one says that there is not enough worship; this one too much. I have heard arguments on volume, on the altar, on the style of preaching and on. In many of these arguments we circle the idea that in doing so or not in doing so, we are quenching the Spirit.

I'd like it take that argument head on. I believe that church should be an expression of the personal spiritual life of the believers who attend. 1 Cor 14:26 says, "What then shall we say, brothers and sisters? When you come together, each of you has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. Everything must be done so that the church may be built up". Please don't misunderstand. This is not to be done in every church service because God is a God of order not confusion. YET the call for everyone to serve is out there. God intends you to bring your gift to the ministry through the local body of Christ.

If you don't....if you won't...
Could you have just quenched the Spirit?

I think it is time we quit blaming pastors and start taking a good look at ourselves. If the power of the Holy Spirit is not being seen in our lives first and if His ministry is not to us first, then we need to discern how WE ,not the church, are quenching the Spirit. When we cease to quench the Spirit as individuals, perhaps our view of the church will change. We will exercise the life of the Spirit, and as the community does, the church will naturally have new life...supernaturally impacting its community (both inside and out).

But, Where Is the Power?

2015-06-08T00:34:00.000-04:00

But, Where is the Power?
By Aaron Peternel

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." Acts 1:8

The Greek word for power is 'dynamis', and I understand this word has etymology in our word English word dynamite. It's important that one reads this text in the intent of the word chosen by Luke, the author. He didn't say that we will be able to power our electronics, or to start our cars. He didn't say that we would have a power like from the sun. Luke's intent for this word conveys a very powerful truth: the power which the Holy Spirit will give you is explosive, terrain changing, makes a mess kind of power. This power is being given to the church for one major end...

Rebuild this world in the name of Jesus Christ.

I like the world rebuild, because to understand the story is to know that God created the earth perfect in every way. Mankind sinned, and the beautiful earth which God had made was twisted and corrupted. It would be like a great city of the past who was conquered by an invading army. Proud walls would be toppled. Magnificent buildings would be burned. A people would be enslaved and know their homeland no more as they once did.

God is not satisfied with those living condition. Jesus died so as to purchase our freedom from slavery, and He sent the Holy Spirit as His empowering agent to see once proud cities (you and me) rebuilt to greater beauty than every before. He is not rebuilding the city that was; that is in the past and behind us. Know that God is not concerned about what was your past. He is constantly nudging and leading us to a better tomorrow,

I wish sometimes that the city could be rebuilt quickly, then i think about the struggles of life and wonder what could be learned if it was fast and easy vs. what is being learned through times of suffering. Which scenario supplies a better life lesson?
I think a little bit more and I wonder why we don't see the explosive, terrain changing, makes a mess kind of power in so many of our churches anymore. Where have we strayed from the mission of Jesus?

It prompts me to ask some questions:

1. Have we diminished the work of the Spirit?

2. Do we quenched the Spirit from moving?

3. Have we become content with the mess, the rubble of our past lives and present disorder?

I hope to write a bit to these questions over the next few days. Please consider commenting and discussing anything I write. I too remain on a journey...I want to follow Jesus, and I want His best for me.

What does your history say?

2015-06-06T08:38:00.001-04:00

(With sincere respect for the marine above. I use his picture to demonstrate the power of overcome history. Thank you sir for your continued service)

If you can imagine taking a year off after you have been savagely removed from what has been your life, I would say welcome to my world. It's a world of uncertain days. Where will the next piece of news come from and what scabs will it tear off? Healing thus becomes very multi faceted. If you could experience this and just heal physically, that would be one thing. I find that for many people who have undergone the type of crisis which I and my family have, you don't just need physical healing. It's in crisis like this that you find out what you mean to people; who are your friends and who loves you and support you. You also find out ultimately who doesn't. It's news like that which can often destroy you, especially if you have been a person who had been there for others in their crisis. It's easy and maybe even fair to ask the question, "Why aren't they there for me?" History can be so wounding.

I have been cut at and prodded in this past year. I am proud to report that season of my life may very well now be over. I feel good! God has given me back the strength I need to return to a pretty active life. I no longer feel like a cardiomyopathy patient, just a soon to be 41 year old who's overweight. I look at myself every morning and I notice some things I didn't have a year ago though. I have a pretty brutal scar on my left side along my ribs. Truthfully it looks like I had been attacked with a butter knife. After 6 months its still red and slightly still puffy. It doesn't hurt like it did, but it is a reminder of a traumatic event that I never want to go through again. While it's healed and no longer bleeding, it reminds me of that was. It reminds me of a season of pain and fear. For the rest of my life, every time I look at that scar, I will never forget. The moment is gone, but the history remains.

I wrote a sermon one time based upon a thought that if we could see our spiritual bodies as God sees them, would we see a body made up of a lot of scars, or would we see gaping battle wounds? I believe that one of the reasons we Christians often lack the power promised to us through the Holy Spirit is because we are attempting to fight a spiritual war while being spiritually wounded. What we don't realize is that while we may deem our efforts successful, the infection of hurt is seeping in and the historical wounds which remain unhealed only making them worse and worse. We can pop spiritual 'painkillers' such as 'staying busy, doing more for God, a good worship service, an extra Bible study', but if these things are not dealing with the pain and the infection, they are only placebos and the history still remains.

So how do we deal with history? Maybe you think like me. I want justice! I want injustice punished and the perpetrators exposed. I want my pound of flesh! Yet, even as I type this I recognize yet again that this is not the attitude of a Christ follower. We have to learn how to think Biblically with my history. Here is how I am challenged.

1. Realize that my sins, flaws and weaknesses deserve wrath, but God has stayed my sentence. Imagine if God has 'brought me to justice' as quickly as I wanted him to do to others? Who could stand under that? I would constantly be exposed. I would constantly be beaten. Thus He chooses to work with me to restore, not simply punishing me. That same grace should be offered by me to the perpetrators of pain in my history.

Verses to consider (Psalm 103:10-14, Matt 10:8, Luke 6:37, Romans 6:23, 2 Peter 3:9, 1 Thes 5:9)

2. Realize that forgiveness is a moment and a journey of moments. Many have been taught that to forgive is to forget, and they do not offer forgiveness because the history is too fresh. I believe that not to be Biblically correct, for if so how could Jesus while he hung on the cross say, "father forgive them for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34) Could it not be argued that when Peter asked how many times that we are to forgive our brother and Jesus said 70x7 times (Matt 18:22) , that Jesus was acknowledging that some wounds will take time to heal. Some however are bigger than others. Some are easily stitched and other require more thread (forgiveness) to close over. Here's the truth about forgiveness, "forgiveness is based on only one real action. It's a turning over of my rights to a God who loves me and loves the one who hurt me. When I give my history to him, I am saying that He has authority to work things out in His way and His time. I am choosing the path of surrender."

Verses to consider (Luke 6:27, Romans 12:19, Col 3:13, James 4:7)

3. Realize it is past. The call of the believer is not to make the past the present. Think of all Jesus offers in salvation. We can begin with how William Wilberforce (author of Amazing Grace) articulated it, "I once was lost but now I'm found, was lost but now I see." In Christ, we do not need return to the chains that are broken. The intention is to leave the prison, to find the path, and to appreciate the beauty of the God all around us. Lets continue to the words of Horatio Spoffard (author of It is Well) who wrote in perhaps his moment of deepest need, "whatever my lot you have taught me to say it is well it is well with my soul." In Christ, we are never alone. The Holy Spirit is our comforter. It is He who will speak gently to us, and lead us, moving the present into the past. It is who, according to hymn writer Henry Zelley (author of He Brough Me Out), "He brought me out of the mirey clay. he set me feet on a rock to stay. He put a song in my heart today. A song of praise hallelujah!" Paul the apostle gives us the greatest counsel, "forgetting those things which are behind" (Phil 3:13-14). Let's see this for what it is. You or I have been hurt. We can not change it. We should not seek revenge for it. We can really do nothing to deal with. It's in the past. Yesterday is gone, what will we do with today? We can not change what was, that is part of our history. What we can do is surrender what is, and allow the past to become HIS story,

Verses to consider (Isaiah 43:18-19, 2 Cor 5:17, Heb 12:1)

Every wound is a story. What history are yours sharing?

This Is the End?

2015-05-28T06:00:00.000-04:00

So yesterday we discovered Jonah's intentions. "If I can get as far away from this calling as I can, God will choose another...and I will be off the hook." We saw how Jonah made his calling about himself, and it almost cost innocent people their very lives; and all the while he slept, unaware of the consequences of his actions.

At the end of Jonah 1, we see that Jonah has come to a bitter awakening, and he does the right thing. He takes responsibility for his choices and determines that the ramifications should only fall upon him. In but a moment, when his body slips beneath the waves, the sky clears and the waves become calm...

And now the rest of the story...

Jonah 2 reflects God's saving grace for Jonah. Once he was thrown over the side of the ship, there really was only one outcome that Jonah should expect, and that was death. He would either sink to the crushing depths or he would swim till his strength faded and drown. Either way...his plan, his agenda, his very life, was dead.

The moment he hit the water - everything ended? Did everything just begin?

I see God providing mercy does not necessarily mean that it was pleasant. Perhaps there was a greater part of Jonah who would have rather died quickly than to face the uncertainty of slow digestion in the belly of a great fish. Can you imagine to horror of being swallowed? Can you imagine the reality of the darkness, or how about the smell. Can you imagine Jonah's anxiety at being perfectly alone, being trapped and waiting for his end?

Yet in that time of uncertainty, something clicked. It's not like Jonah offered up a cheap forgiveness prayer and all the sudden things changed. It was a fact that they didn't. Some believe that for 3 days he was in the fish as God redirected its radar from the ships direction to the shores of Nineveh. In that time, Jonah wasn't going to get off with 'Sunday school prayers'...something different had to happen.

Jonah had to die - while yet breathing.

It was then that God 'raised him back to life.' It wasn't a physical event, but instead an event of purpose. Jonah had to say yes to God and no to self, and when God saw that He was sincere; when God saw that he was ready...

He spit him out on the shores of Nineveh and reminded him...you are my man for my moment.

Imagine what the internet would have said about Jonah: "Sad to see this prophet fall from grace." "Jonah's friends report deep seeded issues." "Jonah is bait for a whale of defeat." "Washed up...has been"

But God would see it differently, "Whoever seeks to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will truly find it."

The end? No just the beginning.

Who is Soverign?

2015-05-27T05:35:00.000-04:00

Who Will Be Sovereign In My Life?
By Aaron Peternel

I have grown up in church all of my life. I grew up learning the Bible stories and grasping the history of great men and women of faith. I have parents who invested in me, as well as youth leaders, Sunday school teachers, and the elder of churches, who saw value and took the time to speak into my life. I can quote the Scripture. I can win Bible trivia...

but I've missed a very important lesson until now.

Growing up, you often gave what we call "Sunday school answers' to the great questions of the day. Almost every youth group sermon came down to pray more, read your Bible more, go to church more etc, and you will be closer to God. Don't smoke! Don't do drugs! Don't listen to that rock n roll!

The inadvertent lesson was that christianity was about what we did, or about what we didn't do. That was ingrained into my life, not from those who necessarily taught that doctrine, but from a result or consequence of the doctrine that they did teach. If everything was about you 'falling into line', then you have control of your Christian walk. Take it further, if everything Godly was about what you did or didn't do to please Him, and we learned that lesson well, then wouldn't the same naturally apply to how we did life too?

"I go to church to please God." "I don't commit sexual sin to please God." " I give of my time and effort to please God:" We have learned an unhealthy principal (if I - then He).

That creates a problem, and one I have confronted in me over this last year. I think by my actions I can earn God's blessing, His love and His rewards. I think I have control over my life to that end. I think that suffering is a consequence of bad actions and behavior. I think I have failed God. I think God is no longer for me...

When all the while God is teaching me a life altering lesson: the only control you have is the power of the next obedient step. He is teaching me that lesson perhaps the same way He taught it to Jonah.

God said, "Go and take my message of repentance to a city state known for atrocity and pagan worship." Jonah thought, "God you must be crazy to think that I with my lone voice am going to do anything to change that wicked people." Jonah took it upon himself to reason God's control away. Jonah thought that if he couldn't control it, he wouldn't put himself in harms way. Then the attack of reason went further. Jonah though to himself that "if i get as much distance between myself and that city, God will have to use someone else and I will be 'off the hook."

Remember what God sent - a storm to end all storms. Where do we find Jonah - oblivious to the reality that His fight with God for sovereignty would nearly cost innocents their lives...

Thats a sobering reminder to we who lead the church. There is tremendous damage that occurs when the ministry becomes about us. Good men and women have taken down their respective bodies by becoming like Jonah...if I dont have control of the situation then i am going to get control in the most logical way possible.

I'll give them their illusions, we'll keep the bills paid, the programs running, the leaders placated...but the kingdom will not be advanced because we are over reasoned and we already have deemed ourselves too weak to make a difference.

A sign one hung on a church walls that said, God is not interested in our ability or lack of ability, but in our AVAILABILITY. The most available we become is when we stop looking at the reason we possess and simply follow Jesus. He is to be sovereign in our lives...not you

not me...

A divine appointment

2015-05-26T06:00:00.000-04:00

Saturday I received a mid morning pm from a friend of mine, Brian Higbee, pastor of City Church in Connellsville. In it he invited me to attend a community prayer time. As I have been thinking a lot about Connellsville lately, I decided to go. By the time I got there I discover that this was a strategic prayer walk, and since I was late, I would be walking alone. I went and did my walk (with no ill effects from heart issues) and returned back to the church. Soon I would realize why I went.

My heritage has exposed me to a lot of things in my life. So when a woman asked if she could pray for me, I permitted it. She then spoke truth over my life...things she could not know unless the Lord revealed it to her. In the conversation I was reminded of my identity in Christ. I was reminded of my destiny in Him. She spoke such life and encouragement, yet spoke with authority and knowledge, that I know I was listening to the Holy Spirit.

I was greatly encouraged, and then on the way home I was led to go to Crawford elementary to the track where a few weeks previous I had taken Jordan to train on.

And then God said "Run".

I immediately began my objections: God I'm in the wrong shoes. "RUN" God I'm too old for this. "RUN" God don't you realize that I can't do this anymore! "RUN" God I have cardiomyopathy!!!! "RUN"

So I began to jog. 'RUN' So I ran, and all the while he encouraged me not to took at the end of the lap, but to look at the ground. I have always been an end zone person. I wan the goal! I want the prize! I will find a way to get to it sooner and batter with less work!

So after about a half lap I looked up, and immediately became discouraged. "LOOK DOWN AND RUN!" I ran a few more meters and I did it again. "LOOK AT THE TRACK AND RUN" God I'm tired! 'RUN' God I can't finish! 'RUN'

So I finished my lap, got into the car and cranked up the air as I listened to myself sound like a wheezing old smoker....God spoke application to me:

"Aaron, one of these days you are going to understand that you can't, but I can. You have for so long put a benchmark before you that defined you. You were proud to reach the goal and took identity from your ability to succeed. You have done much for me, but you could have been so much more for me had you understood that this is my race, not yours. These are my goals, not yours. You ability to succeed is based upon my Spirit, not your reason. Quit looking at the prize and thinking that is the purpose of the race. The purpose of the race is to do one more step knowing that the only control of your life that you have is the power of the next step. Everything else belongs to me. Finally, know that if I have chosen you to run, I picked you because you can succeed and will succeed. Keep your eyes on that for strength. NO ONE can pull you from the race I have placed you on. NO ONE, BUT YOU."

So sometimes the idea of 'pressing toward what is ahead' is not in the goal, its simply in the next step of obedience..

Story of my Life

2015-05-25T11:30:00.001-04:00

I haven't posted anything in a couple days, because I was angry at myself. I was angry that I fell to the enemy's schemes. This week I had a wonderful service with older friends as I ministered in their church. Then I received a message from God for my situation through a prophet at another church. It was just what I needed it; both encouraging and uplifting. Then Tuesday I saw one opportunity slip away and then yesterday a second. Then I set my computer down on a carpeted floor and opened it back up to see that a hairline crack had developed and the LCD was useless. This was the same computer the dog had knocked over a glass of tea on weeks previously. Added to that I found out greater clarity on another situation which makes me NOT want to do anything but get back to work as soon as I can. Then Sarah was working a side job and knocked over her bosses knick knack and it shattered on the floor....

I let it get to me....really get to me....

Between last night and this morning, I realize that I need to repent. God is not angry with me. He is not hurting me. He is not holding his magnifying glass over the ant hill of my life.

He is however refining me. I have ardently prayed for this season to end, and I have had to realize, if its not ending - there is a reason for my continued immersion into the fire...

And one of the reasons is that I will not lose hope and plunge myself back into sin patterns that I am vulnerable to when I lose my poise (or to speak plainly, when i lose my focus that God always honors His promises). I realized that I have lost a tactic I used regularly last year when I faced death in the hospital. Instead of focusing on what is wrong...focus on what is right.

TOP 10 THINGS GOING RIGHT IN AARONS LIFE:
1. My God is for me.
2. My family is for me.
3. My God has a plan that I do not understand, yet I am learning that I do not have to.
4. There is worth and value in my ministry - right now.
5. I feel physically better than I have in a year.
6. God is speaking to others about me.
7. My medical expenses have dropped hundreds of dollars from summer of last year.
8. My family is healthy.
9. I have forgiven, am forgiving, and am learning the blessings of release.
10. New opportunity is coming.

"So God, I am sorry, I took my eyes off the prize. Forgive me for losing track that your Word is full of promises and I must keep my eyes on them. Help me to trust that you do not lie, and that you will come through. Help me as I work through this time of refining. In the end, see your face in me."

'One Giant Leap' - Possibilities before the return of Christ

2015-03-07T08:04:00.001-05:00

5 Now, brothers and sisters, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, 2 for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. 3 While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. 1 Thes 5:1-3

It doesn't take anyone very long to see that the world is a volcano, ready to explode. Perhaps we can see it exploding all around us as we consider ISIS, the end of the war in Afghanistan, the recent speech by the prime minister of Israel and the economic state of America. Security is the buzzword of the day. Americans are being subject to repeated violations of their Constitutional rights because 'someone else' believes it necessary to make us as a whole safe. So we see repeated gun control violations, and repeated unlawful search and seizure violations. We have now also started to see violations of the amendment concerning the establishment of religion as 'Christianity' is repeatedly vilified and Islam is given almost sanctioned state status. Something has gone terribly wrong!

Benjamin Frankin said, "Those who surrender freedom for security will not have, neither do they deserve, either one." His quote should be screamed from the rooftops of American's in every city, yet it is not. We have been sold an idea that it is government who must protect us. We have surrendered individual rights for what is argued is the greater good.

How is that working for us? Chicago has the strictest gun control and is the highest murder per capita in America. The founding of the United Nations has resolved zero foreign conflicts and typically only makes a bad situation worse. We have sacrificed education for the ability to pass a test. Our phone calls become metadata, and well as does our internet surfing. We pay more for 'free healthcare' than we ever paid before it.

Sir Edmund Burke once said, "All that is necessary for evil to prosper is for good men to do nothing." The church has also succumb to the security problem. We gave up our role to the government in social ministry. One could argue we did it because they had more resources. One could argue we did it because we were tired, undermanned, uneducated. There has been a definite shift is what they church at one point did to touch the masses and what they do today. We are NOT better for it. But hey, we can have the security of knowing everyone who walks through the door. We can know that our church can stay 'lilly white' regardless of the community changing around it. We can rest easy knowing that there is always land in the suburbs to buy because the city is 'unreachable' and 'unsafe.'

I think our founding fathers knew something which we have lost; government with centralized power is the downfall of the human condition. It will allow tyrants to congregate and impose a 'supreme will' upon an oppressed people. I think the Lord also saw that reality. I think that is why he never intended Israel to have a king. I think that is why His plan in the Revelation involves a supreme 'anti - Christ'.

What do you think it would take for the world to believe that it was entering into a season of 'peace and safety'? I have a few 4 thoughts for your consideration:

1. A world war which brings about a formal end of Islam as an established religion.

2. A world wide government

3. A world wide currency which provides for free trade.

4. A world wide economic boon.

I believe that Islam is a singular component which stirs the world like nothing else. It is not a religion of peace, nor was it intended to be. I believe that the world will one day have to confront what she has created and the byproduct of that will be a world unified in purpose. This unity will show favor to Israel, if only to silence or appease another source of world stress. The appeased Israel will rebuild their temple on the temple mount. They will love the leaders who have given them that victory. The world will love that war is supposedly silenced, and will call for several initiatives to ensure its silence in the future. Nations will surrender state sovereignty for the greater good. With the loss of state sovereignty will come the loss of individual rights like free speech, gun ownership and the right to worship as we see fit. As a trade, we will see a world united, freely swimming in the illusion that wealth creates...there is no need for God...

AND then the end will come...

The Last Chapters: A Journey Through The End of Colossians

2015-02-26T07:19:00.003-05:00

2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. 3 And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. 4 Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. 5 Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. 6 Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Col 4: 2-6

This morning I woke to this song on my heart: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib2qTJh69EQ&index=2&list=PLBFE89A6039555526.

Here at the end of Colossians Paul lays out simply instructions to how the church is to relate (man to God, man to pastor/teacher, and man to man).

Man to God: Three words that stand out to me in the first verse are 'devote', 'watchful' and 'thankful.' The word the NIV translates as 'devote' the KJV translates as 'continue'. In its Greek definition, the word can be explained as (adhere, persevere, be in constant readiness). I believe that Paul is encouraging the church to understand that prayer isn't what we do after we have planned our strategy, it is our strategy. Prayer is the means by which we know the heart of God. Prayer is what we 'stick' with as we live the heart of God. Prayer is where we go when what we encounter seems stronger than us. Prayer is our method of defense and attack. I believe that Paul would argue that prayer does not replace doing; instead prayer is a part of doing. We pray and we act. We act while we pray.

He continues with two other words describing the course of which we pray, 'watchful' and 'thankful'. On this issue of being watchful, prayer is the key for healthy spiritual awareness, and prayer, with the Word, is also the key for repelling satanic attack. The Bible as a whole reminds us that we are in a spiritual war, and we have an enemy of our soul determined to consume us.

8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

Prayer is vigilance. Prayer helps us to stay filled with the Holy Spirit who us the strength and awareness to hold on, 'stand our post', and be ready for the Devil's next attack. Without prayer, a believer is unequipped and unhealthy to stand against the enemy. He will rely upon outdated means of defense and will set himself and those whom he loves up to be spiritually 'slaughtered'.

Prayer is also thankfulness. One thing I have noticed in 17 years of leading the church is that people often treat God with a cavalier, "I know you love me, but what have you done for me lately." Not you? Think about what occurs when crisis comes. Prayer becomes less about God and your relationship and more about get me out of this mess. Have you stopped to consider that the 'mess' is there to deepen your relationship?

My wife Sarah and I have heard the word cancer several times over our marriage. in 1998 it was me who had a tumor in my leg. In 2005 it was Kayla with a growth on her abdomen. In 2008 it was Dylan with a tumor in his ankle. In 2012 it was Kayla with a tumor in her arm. We have been TERRIFIED. We have cried out to God in our distress and become bitter and angry with why He seemed to be picking on us...

But then this crazy thing happened. Each time we received a fresh diagnoses, there was less fear and there was more faith. When Kayla received her diagnosis, while I had fear concerning what might happen, I had a confidence that God was going to, yet again, confound the wisdom of man.

I learned a very valuable lesson through the whole process, this God who has brought me this far was not going to use the next opportunity to drop me on my head. Now, when I approach him, I recall my vast history with Him. I cycle through the things which He has done. I remind myself of victory yet also victory over defeat. This breeds confidence; confidence that God will continue to do what He has always done - love me and care for me. I can place myself in His care and be at rest.

Man to Pastor: The church has a huge roll in the effectiveness of their pastor, and a huge roll in the power of ministry it sends throughout the world. Money is not enough. A sending service is not enough. If we truly endorse ministry, let us endorse it with a time investment, not simply kind words in special moment. The church should pray for its pastor as if his life depended on it, The church should pray for its pastor as if their life depended on it. It very well may in a spiritual sense. This pastor that God has given them is charged with a sacred truth, to devote their time to prayer and study that he or she may know the heart of God to encourage the body to greatness in Christ. Taking a group of people, many who are opinionated, self reliant and stubborn, to a point where they work unselfishly for a purpose that doesn't benefit them directly is impossible. Yet this has been the work of the pastor for generations. Any pastor who thinks that they possess all that it takes to accomplish this will soon find that he or she has turned into a manipulator of people. When a pastor becomes a manipulator, the sheep suffer for their 'under-shepherd' is no longer operating from love but from duty. When the attack comes, will be be there to give his life for the sheep?

So we pray for the pastor that the Word and his proclamation of it may be with great clarity and understanding. That Word which changes the flock first must change the shepherd. If He tries to do it any other way, it is empty words and platitudes, not the power of God.

12 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. He 4:12

Man to man: The last of God's instructions about how the church is to relate is ultimately with a lost world, yet too with itself. The two are together in my opinion because, if not, it becomes too easy to develop an 'us and them' mentality, as if we who know the Lord have somehow become 'better' than those who do not. Could it be that these churches who don't grow, but instead become family inbred manifest this very trait? Could small struggling churches live blessed if they could only conform to Paul's teaching?

"Be wise in how you act toward outsiders, making the most of every opportunity."

Note that Paul here is directly challenging the church not to withdraw within itself, but to have interaction with the lost. Yet he does so with a challenge, be wise. Ask yourself, why would Paul encourage us this way? Could it be that the banner of Jesus that we wear with our reputation can be made less beautiful because of our words or our actions? Could Jesus become less in the minds of the world when we live a life that doesn't look any different from the life they live.

Do we understand that our chief end, why God has created, and surpassed us for life is to glorify Him and to enjoy Him forever? What makes God look glorious? Could they way we demonstrate love do so? Could our social ministry? Could the way we do business? Could the way we treat our wives, or honor our husbands? Could the way we care for our property? Could the way we talk of the President? Could it be all of these things? Could it be one, to a specific person in a specific moment?

God is brilliant speaking to and through Paul as He concludes this thought with application. Have you ever met someone who said every word that popped into their heads and then justified it stating, "Well can't I have an opinion?" I'm going to answer that the way I believe Paul would, "If you can't state your opinion in a way that lifts your brother or sister, then no...you can't."

Why? Because our words communicate with incredible power, and we, brother or sister in Christ, according to what I see in the book of James, have been given the solemn duty to 'tame our tongues.'

26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. James 1:26

Why worthless? I believe it can be for 2 reasons: 1. Because a world desperate for Jesus will hear those words and reject Him for the sake of the mouth of one of his own. 2. Because our words reveal the nature of our heart. In this case we can through our words reveal that we neither trust God nor count upon Him to settle our needs, but we manipulate and control...this our hearts are not surrendered to Him.

34 You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Matt 12:34

Why I am investigating these last chapters of the Epistles is because they are so full with application. Please take these thoughts of man to God, pastor and man and see what your practice has been. If you find yourself lacking, don't be satisfied, but instead begin by realizing that what you feel as lack is God's way of reminding you that He has given you everything you need to walk in 'fullness' and victory.

The Last Chapters: A Journey Through the End of Philippians

2015-02-23T07:20:00.003-05:00

4 Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
5 Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Phil 4:4-7)

It's interesting to see how the Amplified Bible takes this passage and emphasizes its power words:

Verse 4 Rejoice in the Lord always [delight, gladden yourselves in Him]; again I say, Rejoice!

We all share a common state. The Bible declares that we are strangers and aliens in this world. We are called to be a part of the world, but not of it. (John 15:19) Being in the world means that we share in the fate of sin which rests upon the world. Until we die, we face Newtons 2nd law of thermodynamics, "Everything is moving from order into chaos." Because that is out existence and sin is taking the earth straight to Hell, we need to understand that bad things happen to good people...and thats not God's fault. It's truly the fault of free will, often being exercised one man upon the other.

So what do we do when we feel like life has 'cheated' us? It is far to easy to look at the circumstances and events and proverbially curl up in a fetal position and be the victim. That posture and identity may be ok for a world who has no hope, but for believers THIS SHOULD NOT BE. We have hope, and an eternal life that we received the very moment we got saved. That hope and new identity should lead us to embracing God's word in verse 4. Permit me to put it into application:
"God my father just died!" Thank you that he knew you and I will see him again.
"God I'm running short this month!" Thank you that you supply all my needs"
"God I'm sick and discouraged!" Thank you that you are my healer, my encourager!
"God I've been hurt by people!" Thank you that you never fail me!

I often have encouraged people to journal in part because their own words establish a history of God's work in their lives. Often times we all have a tendency to focus on the here and now, while God has been saving you from such similar situation your whole life. If we could only examine the evidence...we would see and take confidence. That is what Paul is encouraging us to do as he challenges us to rejoice.

5 Let all men know and perceive and recognize your unselfishness (your considerateness, your forbearing spirit). The Lord is near [He is [a]coming soon].

What do we (in Christ) live for? Sometimes I wonder if we are not doing more to mimic the world and its goals for life, rather than mirroring Jesus and his goals for life. Remember the world says, "If it feels good, do it", but Jesus said, "Whoever seeks to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will truly find it" (Matt 16:25). In a world of utter selfishness, the church had been leading the charge for years to make an impact into changing the social position of men. The interesting phenomena is that this appears to have taken a real hit as social ministry is now facilitated more and more by government and the church seems to be ok with dealing with only what it sees in its own walls.

How can we change a world if we expect them to come to us? They don't know the depth of their condition. They don't understand the lost state of their soul. It is time that the church reconsider that tithes and offerings should be a gauge for grander buildings and greater staff and salaries. It is time that the church give it away. "But brother, we will draw out all the moochers in the community." Couldn't the same had been argued for those crowds who followed Jesus? But he never turned them away. He met their most basic of need. That is what a desperate world needs to see from the church; not 'come and conform', but a living theology of valuing and loving every person right where they are at, and doing it with an urgency.

6 Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God.

I like how the Amplified Bible explains petition because I have seen its benefit in my own life. Many of us have prayed, "God help me," yet when He came through, neither gave testimony nor credit for His work. In this passage Paul encourages us, I believe, to be specific and direct. This is done in order that we may give praise for the specific and direct answer when God sends it.

7 And God’s peace [shall be yours, that [c]tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall [d]garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

I have a heart condition, caused by a fluke virus which attacked my heart. It has been both serious and critical. Early on I was actually told I qualified for hospice care. The night after I was formally diagnosed, I came to terms with God over my condition. He asked me if i was going to throw out everything I have believed? When I said no, He then asked me if I was going to throw out everything I had taught. I said no again. He reminded me that I had a choice, and that was summed up by Andy Defrains words in the movie The Shawshank Redemption when he said, "Get busy living or get busy dying." I understood what God was trying to say. I could reject what I believed and focus on the moment, or I could hold onto what I believe and focus on forever. I chose that latter, not because I was strong, but because in that moment I knew God's peace and the Amplified describes it.

I would say it more simply this way, "A quiet confidence."
I don't know what my future holds. Since this has happened I have had 2 heart surgeries. I have resigned my pastorate. I realize that in June I will need to have an income. Yet in quiet confidence, I rest in His words,

2 Tim 1:12, "12 And this is why I am suffering as I do. Still I am not ashamed, for I know (perceive, have knowledge of, and am acquainted with) Him Whom I have believed (adhered to and trusted in and relied on), and I am [positively] persuaded that He is able to guard and keep that which has been entrusted to me and which [a]I have committed [to Him] until that day.

The Last Chapters: A Journey Through the End of Ephesians

2015-02-20T08:10:00.002-05:00

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God,so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesian 6:10-12

Maybe one of the most harmful things to Christians is a 'little bit' of truth. It is said that the founder of the Jehovah's Witness, Charles Taze Russell, is an example of that can happen when someone takes a little bit of truth into their world' He encountered a Muslim man who shredded what young Russell knew of Christianity. Discouraged and defeated, Russell would come to crisis with His relationship with Jesus. He found later reject it and would found a cult which for almost 100 years has contributed to the decline of true Biblical teaching and understanding here in America.

Not everyone becomes a Russell, yet everyone is susceptible to have a Russell like experience when they operate in ignorance and without confidence. Let's address the first. A few years ago I rejoined the mighty Peternel men for the annual deer season experience. At that time it didn't matter that you harvested a buck; any deer was game. I was pleased to drop a young doe until I remembered that it had been well over 10 years since i hate field dressed an animal. Panicking, I called my father on the walkie, but he didn't come. So I stared at that deer realizing that with how Murphy's Law typically affected me, I was doomed to spoil the meat of this deer. Well guess what, I managed. Yet I think I would have had much less anxiety had my dad been there to guide the activity.

It got me thinking about Paul's words in the beginning of our text. How does one live to the power of, "Be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power"?

1. Confidence:

I have been diagnosed with cancer. My son Dylan was diagnosed with cancer. My daughter Kayla was diagnosed with cancer. I have lost a job without having a new one 3 times in my 17 years of being married to Sarah. I find that each time the 'catastrophic' comes, the bite is much less. This is not because I am an optimist. This is not because I have someone in my life with deep pockets. I believe that I can be confident in the middle of the crisis because of 2 principals: 1. God has proven Himself able in my past. 2. The God who proved Himself able in my past will not drop me on my head now. Crisis breeds faith! I have complained too many times asking God why some seem to skate through life while others see to have the proverbial crap kicked out of them. As I type this morning I believe I know the answer. How confident in God would I be if I could handle life without Him? For me it often takes the crisis to remind me I need God.

2. Realize that God has equipped us for the battle:

Each day is a battle. When we fail to realize that we often nose dive in our relationship with God, trusting instead in our own ability to get the job done. Let's be brutally honest. There are many people out there who are not believers, who are living the kind of life that some of us would covet. They have the toys. They have the health. They have the confidence...

It would seem...

But what they lack is what you have IF you are a believer in Jesus Christ. All the toys of this world are going to pass away. Even the pagans know that, "you can't take it with you", yet for thousands of years they have tried. They have stood before the Father who asked them at their judgement, "What did you do with Jesus and what did you do with the gift of life that I gave to you?" All of the toys of this world will not buy them happiness at the result of their answer. They will be as the rich man in the parable of the rich man and Lazarus who asked for a cool drop of water to be put on his tongue.

Yet the one who realized that "There is no other name under heaven by which men can be saved (Acts 4:12) will be rewarded. What one man has for a moment, will be yours for eternity. Not simply in stuff, but in the knowledge of knowing that God is for me, and that is what matters.

Because He is for me, I have a home in Heaven, but that is the end of the story. Because He is for me, I have an eternal life which begins the moment I get saved. Because He is for me, I have the means to overcome the curse of sin in this broken world. Because He is for me, I have the Holy Spirit, the comforter provided by Him who 'stands in His place' so that I am empowered to win in a world filled with 'losers'.

This is His mighty power that Paul speaks of. It is not hocus pocus power, but is the power to say YES to God and NO to sin. It is the power to be USED by God as HIS hands and feet. It is the power of HOLINESS, that I may be more like Jesus.

3. Realize the source of the battle:

I confess this is something that I need constantly reminded of. In a world full of disappointment, betrayal, lies and slander, it is so easy to lose focus and blame the people who you believe are responsible. It's so easy to let hurt become unforgiveness and that further develop into anger, rage or apathy. We must return to some basic Biblical truth. John 8:44 says that the Devil lies. Good people are prone to be influenced when the infection of Satan's work goes unchallenged. Thus Iit's easy to focus on the people who get caught up in it, and ignore the mastermind behind the attack.

Satan wants none of us to succeed. His intense hatred for God is passed on to us who are the object of God love. Paul's words in the text reminds us that we need to keep our eyes on the prize, off the other runners and never on the other coaches. Every other coach has a game plan for you going down. What are you going to do with that knowledge?

Let me suggest that you be the best runner you can be. Seek to understand everything you can about how to use what God has given to you and win this race set before us. Paul lays out the framework to success in this marathon.

Let's run...keeping out eyes on Jesus...the author and the finisher of our faith.

The Last Chapters - A Journey Through the End of Galations

2015-02-19T07:51:00.001-05:00

Recently I was asked a question. What is the higher virtue, love or truth? As a person who has embraced truth as the backbone of relationship, I immediately replied truth. Later that night, as I thought about the question, I came to maybe a more thorough conclusion. Truth and love are not mutually exclusive. In most cases to embrace love as a bi-product of truth would be accurate. To see truth as accepted largely by love would also be accurate. Thus they are not mutually exclusive, but interdependent.

I think this is an applicational theology lost for several generations. In this generation, we see preachers who want to focus on the love of God yet avoid the truth of God. Perhaps in past generations, we saw people living out the truth of God yet not understanding His love and grace toward we who struggle with sin. I propose that both pathways are destructive, and a believer today should strive to be one who seeks to understand balance.

Note Paul's words to the church in Galatians verse 1 and 2: Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. 2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Paul is encouraging the church that the maturing life of the believer is all of our (the churches) business. This does not give us room to spread gossip or hearsay. According to 1 Cor 13, love does not revel when others grovel (the Message). Notice the words, "caught in a sin." It seems that an experience like when the Pharisees caught the woman in the act of adultery is a rare occurrence in life. Thus being 'caught in a sin' must be something that occurs, not from hiring a private detective, but instead out of the bonds of a relationship which is fueled by love. If indeed we see the church as a hospital for the hurting, then the church should be a place where people come and bare their souls as to their real spiritual condition. Is your church like that? Is mine?

Sadly, the church too often isn't. Again it is often because we have assumed that a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is simply that - between you and He. I challenge you to read Hebrews 11 and ask yourself, "This great cloud of witnesses, what are they cheering us on for?"

He encourages us to do the work of restoration gently. We only need go on a few moments to see what 'gently' implies. I believe it can be summed up in an old phrase of the church, "but for the grace of God go I." Paul is showing the church that ANYONE can be caught up in what this 'sinner' has done. If you think you can't, you approach him or her in a high minded manner. That is the root of pride. Pride goes before a fall.

He then encourages us to 'bear one another burdens." Ask yourself what burden Paul refers to. In context it seems like one thing; the restoration of believers from sin patterns. BUT WE DON'T WANT TO GET INVOLVED! We come to church for the worship...or for the preaching. We're too busy. They are too time consuming. They are like a leech on the church. Paul goes on to address this: 3 If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. 4 Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else.

What if we, instead of seeking to elevate ourselves at our brother or sisters expense, caught instead 2 other things:

1. Mirroring Christ (doing as He did) as He lifted us out of the misery clay and set our feet on the rock.
2. Examined ourselves against the standard God has called us to live to.

Would that not be the perfect balance between love and truth?

The Last Chapters - A Journey Through the End of 2nd Corinthians

2015-01-14T11:14:00.001-05:00

The debate over the security of the believer is one that has effected the church for centuries. Both sides would agree that when a person makes a commitment to Jesus Christ, Jesus makes a commitment to them. Where the contrast is, is that one side affords the keeping of that commitment to the choices of free will, the other to God's overwhelming sovereignty.

In Bible school, issues such as these were fodder for aspiring pastors and theologians to stay up far to late at night. Somehow we thought that we could be the generation to do what other minds over the centuries could not. I don't know how many Arminians we won over, or how Calvinists threw away the principals of T.U.L.I.P.. What I do know is that there are God fearing men and women on both sides of this debate, and perhaps we have spent more time dividing the church by arguing than unifying her in purpose, because both sides have the same stated goal.

I love what those who side with Calvinism offered the Church in their writing of the Shorter Westminster Catechism. It was here where they said, "The chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever." I don't know a believer in Jesus' work on the cross who would disagree with that. Thus this should bind us together. For in all ways we are on the same team.

My own personal journey on this topic has taken me from a more rigid position on the eternal security of a believer to a more liberal one, but then I found a position in the middle. I believe strongly in the concept of free will. I believe that free will is on the top five list of things which are God's greatest gifts to man. 1. Life, 2. Work of Jesus, 3. The Bible, 4. Free will, 5. The indwelling of the Holy Spirit. That free will is listed reminds me that God has full intention to give, not just sinners, but also 'saved' humanity a choice.

"...choose you this day who you will serve." Josh 24:15

I believe that every 'saved' person must acknowledge that their 'flesh' still effects them. This is one of the reasons why Christians are called to be sanctified. In layman terms, sanctification is when the old way, that you used to do things, is replaced by God's way of doing them. This process begins first in your mind. We see Paul affirming this,

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:1-2

Yet it remains a process, thus we must also acknowledge that we will lose the battle for our flesh on a fairly consistent basis. This failure alone does not put our salvation into jeopardy. It has been a sad reminder of how insidious the devils lies are when I see elder people of the Church sometimes driven in the relationship with God by fear of failure and doubt. Because of some misguided teaching centering around holy living, they wonder if they have 'done enough'; does God love me and am I going to Heaven?

This is why, as I have preached, I made this creed a regular part of my messages, "God loves you just as you come, but He is not content to leave you there." Thus His love for you is not based upon what you can do for Him. His love for you is based upon who He is (period).

My former pastor used to tell me of the wonder of God's grace. He would say that when you are a believer in Jesus, and understand that it is by grace alone through faith alone, that it will effect your desire to sin. You will choose your belief over your flesh, not for duty, but for the love that you possess towards Christ. Perhaps this is part of understanding how deep your walk is.

This question of how deep, or how mature you are, is one that should be asked of every believer often. As I stated before, God will not leave us at the place where we come. We must never accept that we have 'arrived' and come beyond the simple things of going 'deeper' in God.

"We must always think...what's next! We must always question...am I on the right way or in the way!"

5 Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test? 6 And I trust that you will discover that we have not failed the test. 7 Now we pray to God that you will not do anything wrong—not so that people will see that we have stood the test but so that you will do what is right even though we may seem to have failed. 2 Cor 13:5-7

Let me propose a couple thoughts about testing yourself about your faith. The growth of faith is a demonstration of the indwelling Holy Spirit. The lack of the Holy Spirit leads to a crisis of faith:

1. I believe that there are 2 marks of a newly saved person. This person should have a hunger for the Word (the Bible taught and explained to them: 1 Peter 2:2), and a hunger for God's people (to be interconnected with others of like thinking and life practice, Acts 6:7).

If a person come to Jesus yet lacks these characteristics, they may not have had a true conversion. If a person has been in 'faith' but no longer displays a heart for these characteristics, they may no longer have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

2. The Bible teaches that it is the Holy Spirit which baptized us into faith (1 Cor 12:13) and now, post conversion, dwells in us (1 Cor 3:16) reveals to us how to live and mature in faith.

If a person prays for salvation, yet grasps nothing of the role of a new believer, he may have not had a true conversion experience. If at any point this person did grow in faith and practice, but no longer does, then we must argue that He had yet now no longer have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

3. A believers life will manifest 2 major things. Jesus said that the lost world will know that you are my disciple because of love (John 13:35), yet He also taught that if you love me, you will keep my commands (Jon 14:15, 23).

If a person lives for the flesh, and has no desire to live for God manifested by their actions, no one should give them guarantee of salvation, regardless of many alter experiences. If a person does not address faulty thinking with God's truth, but ignores the call to unselfish living, feeding only himself, they should give serious consideration to the lack of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit in them.

Simply put, it is the indwelling of the Holy Spirit that is the guarantee of salvation. Without His presence, we can logically conclude that this person has failed 'the test'.

Well you can argue with me if you like, but wouldn't the better lesson to be gained here be, "Dear God, I've looked at these characteristics that should be in my heart as a believer and for whatever reason, they are not there. God I am sorry that I have either never made a real commitment of my life to you or have walked away from you. God I want you. Please fill me again with the Holy Spirit, that my life may go deeper and I may enjoy, "Life to the Full (John 10:10). In Jesus name, Amen.

The Last Chapters - A Journey Through the End of Every One of Paul's Letters to the Church.

2015-01-10T09:45:00.002-05:00

I was in the hospital yesterday for a series of tests reading an upcoming surgery. As I waited, I was glad that I had brought my Bible. I thought I would read a bit to help pass the time and to find encouragement for that day.

I felt led to read the last chapters of several of Paul's epistles (letters) in the New Testament. It was refreshing to see again how great they were to encourage every believers Christian life...no matter what they face. I am going to take a few blogs and comment on what I draw from them.

1 Cor 16: 8 - 9 "But I will stay on at Ephesus until Pentecost, because a great door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many who oppose me."

One of the greatest heresies out there, in my belief, is what we call the 'Word Faith movement.' These people have bought into the lie that as a believer you should have a life free of the struggles of this world. You should have more than enough money. You should be in optimal health. You should be able to command prosperity be yours. This doctrine causes more casualties of faith than it heals. This doctrine has serious fundamental flaws.

One of the greatest is that it simply does not line up with the whole of Scripture. I would present that if this were true, then Paul the Apostle was a victim of poor faith. He certainly did not have a life free from the struggles of this world. In fact, it was very different.

Phil 4:13 (The Message) "I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am."

To follow Jesus in obedience is the burden of Christianity. It is not to do for God that He may love you. God loves you, just as you are.

Here's the point, if Paul saw seasons of 'little' or times when his belly was hungry, his hands empty, why do we believe that we should have a Christian life defined by American views of prosperity? Could it be that our lives are not meant to serve us, but to serve God through serving others and putting their interest before our own?

"The chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever" (Shorter Westminster Catechism)

Back to the text in 1 Cor 16. As I read it one major thing stood out to me, challenging but yet encouraging me.

Real ministry naturally breeds opposition.

Follow me in this. Perhaps the greatest contributor to the New Testament is the man we know as Paul the Apostle. His story speaks of his own anger toward the emerging church and how he felt compelled to deal with what he perceived as the blight of Christianity. These were people who had done nothing personal to Paul, but he was used to cause opposition in their ranks by disrupting their lives often in very harsh and drastic means.

Then Paul is drawn into relationship with Jesus Christ. Acts tells us of Paul's opposition which seemed to follow him. It began from other believers. It soon graduated to threats on his life. He received beatings for his faith. He was imprisoned and false accused. Ultimately his ministry would costs him his head.

Yet you don't see Paul running from that opposition. You don't see Paul accepting the victim mentality. In fact you see Paul embrace a very different mindset...

"I'm staying BECAUSE there is ministry to accomplish."

"I'm staying BECAUSE there are many who oppose me."

Paul got what so many of us miss. We seem to think that effectiveness is based upon our ability to 'make it happen.' I believe we should consider our role differently. Jesus never said to his disciples, "I have chosen you because of all that you have to offer me." Jesus laid out their role very simply when He said, "Follow me". He said, "Follow me and I will..." They had a choice to say yes or say no.

You can do nothing to merit that love. It is a love based not upon what you can ever do for Him, but upon who He is...and His choice to model the very thing He would ask us to offer - real unselfish love.

It's real unselfish love that permitted Paul to say, "No matter what the opposition, I am going to serve the Lord by loving these people here. I am not going to play the victim card. I am not going to run away. I am going to follow Jesus and be used by Him as long as He desires."

Thus I am second...

"God forgive me for the times I thought only of myself. Forgive me for trusting in me vs giving you the prayer and patience needed to see You have real victory. May my life be less of me and more of you; less of me and more about the people you choose to give to me. In Jesus name, Amen."

What Does It Really Mean to Love?

2015-01-08T07:00:00.000-05:00

I've been seeing a Christian counselor. See! I said it. There is nothing to be ashamed about in it. As a wise person once wrote, "Everyone needs somebody to learn on." As I've talked to this person, I am discovering some things about myself which previously I didn't understand. This doesn't make me a bad person. It just shows me that I am still on a journey of self awareness. It further shows me that not every 'ivory tower' that I have built has been good.

Sometimes the ivory towers have to fall. Such was shown to me in my last session when the question of love came up. In a previous conversation I had been asked what is the more valuable attribute, truth or love. In that moment I chose truth. It took me about a day to see that the two could not be mutually exclusive. Love must be based upon truth. Truth can often only be received in love. In Christian faith, love is often the evidence of truth. In Christian faith, truth is available because of Jesus labor of love.

Adherence to truth should be a characteristic of every believer. This is how we win the battle for our minds as described in 1 Cor 10:3-5. Yet Jesus also said, "This is how they will know that you are my disciples; if you love one another" (John 13:35).

So what does it mean to love?

Gary Chapman wrote a fantastic book called

The Five Love Languages. The crux of the book goes to this thought, "Are you willing to understand what is necessary to reach the 'other' person with the love that they need? It is work to love someone who receives it differently than you. This is usually one of the major issues which couples present in marriage counseling. He receives love through one expression of love and hers is very different. He thinks that offering the expression that works for him is enough. She is starving for the affection that speaks to her.

He has got to change...

How is that done? Is it an attitude change or is it an action change? Can I argue that it is both. The Bible addresses both even in the following verse,

"Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friend." John 15:12.

The verse addresses attitude: It is against human nature to put another person before ourselves. We are by nature selfish. We want what we want. Selfishness is the root of sin. ." Woody Allen explained this selfishness by his statement, "the heart wants what the heart wants." In that mindset, forget morals and forget consequences. The only thing that is important is your own personal happiness.

The problem with that is that love is not about what it does for you. The sense of love is about what the other person involved receives. Perhaps we can argue that John the Baptist spoke well of love when he said, "He must increase, and I must decrease" John 3:30. Paul would write of the decrease of even Jesus who by his death and suffering elevated each of us (Phil 2). Love then is birthed from an attitude change that redirects attention away from self and focuses it on the object of your love.

It can't stop there. Remember that in James it is written, "...faith without works in dead" James 2:17. It's logical to apply the same standard to love. Love requires action. Real love is demonstrated by action that raises the other person at the expense of the one giving love.

It's attitude + action that are the benchmarks of love.

Thus the attitude is one that does actions of love without consideration of self. He does not sweep the floor or do the laundry because it wins him brownie points that later he can cash in for what he wants. He does these things because they need to be done, and for loves sake he will deny himself and stand in. He will stand in even if its not his job. He will stand in even though its not how he was raised.

He will stand in because the object of his love is more important than himself and if he can lift that person up, the sheer thought brings him joy.

Because he knows that the end result will be a fulfilled lover, confident that they may be who they are because of the security created by his attitude and actions.

What I'm learning about myself, is that I too often did the actions without displaying the attitude behind them. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was doing my job as a lover, either to my wife and family, but also with the ministry, well and adequately. I'm sad to say that as I look back, some of the times I thought I was doing right by the other person, I was actually only doing right by myself.

One person caught me in it and responded several years ago to that end when he said, "Aaron you re a gifted speaker and a wonderful worship leader. You do your job with excellence, but I am just not sure that you love me."

At first, I wanted to kill him. I went home so angry from that statement. I thought to myself, I do this and I do this and I do this..." Now it hits me, I was making it about me. While I might have been doing the right things...without love truly being expressed, was I really accomplishing the very things God meant me to do?

Sadly...no. 1 Cor 13 seems to give me pause..."but have not love, I am a resounding gong, a clanging cymbal. I am nothing. I gain nothing."

So I am seeing a counselor. May my heart be prepared to go beyond what I am and to love as Jesus loved. In my future, I want to be spoken of like Jesus was in Phil 2, " he made himself nothing by taking the very nature] of a servant,being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death."

"God, may my heart embrace what you had to embrace when you heeded the call of the Father to be the ransom of men. May I too deny myself, take up my cross and follow you. May my heart be transformed through the God who loves me with an unselfish love. May I be used to extend that same love to others in grace that you did it for me. May it be pure and unselfish. May none of me be found in it. In Jesus name....Amen."

The Art of Forgiveness

2015-01-06T09:17:00.002-05:00

Is forgiveness really so elusive? How many times I have heard the bitterness rise out of people who hold on to unforgiveness as if they are entitled to it. Maybe they feel that to forgive is to take the weaker role. Maybe they feel that to forgive is to render themselves powerless in the face of injustice.

The truth is that forgiveness actually restores the power to them. Think about it, when one holds on to unforgiveness, he or she is slave to that event. They are controlled by the raw human emotion that manifests itself when that event is remembered. They are controlled by the defense mechanisms they now employ to make sure an event like that never occurs again. They are deceived into thinking that unless they pursue justice that justice will never be achieved.

In short, the event not only once caused pain, but continues to cause pain. The sad story is that this pain only compounds the original. Healing becomes more and more elusive, as the infection of deception attacks the emotional and spiritual body of the host, causing more damage. Soon other systems necessary for a healthy life are affected. Perhaps one of the greatest ones being a man or woman's ability to see and know God.

Remember that Jesus didn't die for the sole purpose of securing your eternity. Salvation is not about going to heaven. According to John 10:10. Jesus died that you may have life to the 'full' or "exceedingly abundantly" to quote the KJV. Please do not be so short sighted to think that life only begins when you die. That life begins the very moment you got 'saved'. When you acknowledged that you are a sinner and you need a savior, Jesus Christ filled you with his His Holy Spirit and 'life to the full' begins. Life to the 'full' is a byproduct of relationship. Anything that hinders relationship this hinders life to the 'full'.

I believe this is why we are encouraged to practice the art of forgiveness:

I believe that forgiveness is multi tiered. The greater the offense, the more steps that may be necessary and the more time which may be needed to know freedom from the event. Please understand however that forgiveness is as much about the journey as it is about the destination. It is in the journey that we encounter life lessons which shape us for our future practice and beliefs. The journey of forgiveness finds a parallel in the journey of overcoming temptation that we see in James 1; "...that we may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

So what must we do to practice this art of forgiveness?

1. Realize that forgiveness has very core truths which must apply in every case. I would express them as simply as this:

a. You have a history of struggling with sin.
b. You have been forgiven for that sin.
c. You are called to practice the forgiveness you have been given.

2. Realize that to achieve forgiveness is not going to be the same for every person in every circumstance, yet there is common ground to begin the journey on.

Here's what I mean by that. It is terribly inefficient to begin a home project with a trip to LOWES. Inadvertently you will forget something, and the time that you would have applied to your project is wasted because of the time necessary to run back and forward to the store. How much better would it be to sit down and realize what is needed to accomplish the project? How much less frustrated would you be at the end of the day? Think about the amount of energy expended that could have better gone towards the goal.

Thus as we consider this art of forgiveness, we need to take inventory of what we will need to see forgiveness take place.

a. Admit the offense. "God I am angry at "so and so" because they have hurt or committed this injustice upon me.

***It is important hat you spell this out. The reason being is that you 'can' find that as you bring this before God that the 'offense' is not as bad as you thought it was. You 'can' find that what has happened to you only has enflamed a previous hurt or injustice and that is the one needing healed over this one. Perhaps had that one been resolved, this one would not hurt so deeply.***

b. Pour out your anger to God. "God I can not understand why this person would betray me! It makes me so angry to think that they are exalted and I am humbled or brought low. God when will you even the score?!?! God why did you let this happen to me?!?!?'

***Let me encourage you that God has big shoulders. If you have any doubt, read the Psalms. So much of this writing was David doing the very thing that I encourage you to do today. God can take your expression of anger. I believe that in fact, He welcomes it. When your anger is expressed toward God, He can help you work through the emotional response that could be expressed to the one who has hurt you. Resolving forgiveness first with God allows your response to the person who offended or betrayed you to be much more healthy and productive. Oh and lets not forget this:

It lets God fight for you instead of fighting with you.

c. Resolve it with your offender. "God, I no longer am consumed by this injustice. I am at peace with the pain caused. I now release my offender from his offense."

***I'm not sure how we resolve the current condition of the church regarding non-confrontation with the Bible's teaching in Matthew 18. In that text it is clear that we are to resolve issues in the company of the offender. Sadly one of two extremes is often practiced in this case. We either A. do nothing which accomplishes nothing other than making for us an enemy for life, or B. we charge in quickly which accomplishes little because too many times we move faster than God in reconciliation. This is why I call forgiveness multi tiered. God's timing is more important than the words spoken, no matter how truthful and factual they may be...

if love is absent, nothing is often accomplished...

And so it is critical to wait allow love to guide our resolution. I believe a good benchmark is this, "When the offense is no longer about how bad it made me feel, then it is time", or "When the offense is not about defending myself, then it is time."

Does this mean that I have to stand in front of the person who hurt me? My thinking is that if that is possible, yes. However there are times when it is impossible. Please accept that while forgiveness is first between you and God, that it is meant to be a tool of reconciliation between one person and another. How can that person change or grow, unless they know what they have done?

And imagine what it may mean to them, to know that you have forgiven them the same way Christ has forgiven you - so that their offense is no longer charged to them. It's no longer held on their account.

What would God's people be like, if we practiced what we preached?

"Lord, make me an artist of forgiveness. God help me today, to be a person acknowledging his pain, releasing offenses by others to you, and practicing reconciliation with those who caused it. Let love transform Satan's strategy to become Satan's defeat. In Jesus name...Amen."

The Best Forgiveness

2014-12-31T08:44:00.000-05:00

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:32

Somewhere along the way we have accepted that forgiveness is only offered when a formal request is given and the offending party 'makes it right' to the offended. While this scenario is perhaps an ideal, it causes me to ask this hard question, "What if the offending party never comes to apologize?" This question, in my mind, is often followed up by a second hard question, "If the one who hurt me never comes to apologize, do I have to forgive them?" Then there is the hardest question of "Why".

Before I attempt to uncover the why, I'd like to steer you to what I believe is killing Christians all over America. Christians all over America seem to carry the same burden of not having enough time. We have so little time, thus we are unwilling to exercise patience. What's killing Christians is that instead of trusting God to intervene, we plow forward determined to change our stars by ourselves.

Sure we acknowledge Jesus...

Yet our worship of Him is so twisted and compartmentalized. We do not allow the God of relationship a 'relationship'. At best we give him an appointment. We 'slot' Him in for when it's convenient. The God of relationship purchased this ability with His blood and the best we often do is, "God I'm here at church, now You have 1 hour to bend me, change me any way you want me..."

But then it's back to the same old habits. Each day we deal with the poop thrown by life monkeys by trying to dodge the poop instead of asking why are we content to stand by the monkey cage. This isn't the life to the full promises in John 10:10. It doesn't have to be this way! Why won't many take the time to move? Maybe we're too busy to take the time to see it another way.

So we repeat our unhealthy patterns regarding forgiveness:
1. We keep busy in an effort to distract us from our pain.
2. We placate ourselves with other substances/activities that distract us from our pain.
3. We hold on to our pain as if we are entitled to keep it.
4. We let the pain define us as 'victim'.
5. We allow a hard heart and bitterness to preserve the pain.

Why do we do this? We do it because change requires effort. Change requires us to give up the reigns and invest in a 'better way'. By doing nothing we accept the lie that we remain in power and in charge.

When we hold onto unforgiveness, we never had the power to begin with.

We have been deceived to believe that there is a way out of the hole dug for us if we just keep repeating the above patterns. The funny part is that we will eventually come full circle and have to face that the solution we were avoiding as the exact one that truly makes a difference.

In this case its to offer forgiveness...and keep on offering forgiveness...until the healing is complete. I have found that the level of forgiveness needed often follows the severity of the event. Much forgiveness can not truly be completed in a moment. Many times forgiveness is like the snakebite from the old western movies. The old cowboy would suck out the venom and repeat and repeat until he believed the venom was gone. Such should be forgiveness. It should be a daily or even a moment by moment event where the offended says of the offender, before the Lord, something like this...

"God, I am hurting. I am angry. I am not understanding how or why (this/these person(s)) did to me what they did. God I want to strike back, but I realize that in the Bible you promised that you make all things good for those who love you, and that you take the light into dark situations. I count on you today to do just that. As I wait until you do, please allow my heart to heal. Please take away this pain of rejection. Please supply what I need to be whole. Please let me love those who hurt me. Please help me to forgive every wrong that has been committed. Please help me to consider their sins on my account as paid in full. God I surrender to your lordship, not my own. In Jesus name....Amen"

Returning to the question of why: First some thoughts from the Bible

* Its a command
"Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." Col 3:13

* Its got benefits
"And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” Mark 11:25

* It bestows righteousness which gives true power
"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."

I'll pick up more in my next post.

Forgiveness

2014-12-30T00:12:00.002-05:00

I've recognized something tonight. I took one of my former students and we saw Louis Zamperini's story Unbroken. The movie spoke to me in many ways, but the part that moved me beyond what the story line was came at the very end. Producer Angelina Jolie shared the power behind what allowed Zamperini to overcome. Some would argue it was a childhood rebellion. Some could argue that it was love of family. Some might even say that he had too much to lose. Jolie printed a simple few sentences stating that Zamperini gave the glory to God for any ability to overcome at all.

As I left the theater I began to speak to my student and compare and contrast the life of this true hero to my own. At first we talked about how when given the 'unfairness' of Zamperini's war time story, he held on to an unbroken spirit. I appreciated the movie not leaving this man as some sort of macho emotionally dead 'male'. Instead we saw that he laughed, and he cried. He had moments of intense fear and rage. He had moments where all hope was lost.

Yet we don't see him ever being the victim. I think that is what I mean by having an unbroken spirit. Sometimes in my moments I have looked to heaven and shouted at God the famous words, "Why are you doing this to me?" Those are words which can often follow bitterness or anger. They can rash words spoken quickly or at times famous 'last words'.

Zamperini would survive the war physically, yet the toll of the war would haunt him for years. Those wounds began to heal the night he met a young preacher by the name of Billy Graham and you can imagine the rest of the story.

Part of that story would be told in his return to Japan and his meeting with former prison guards where he offered them forgiveness for what they had done to him.

***There's a crazy thought***

"Dear Sir, though I am the one who should receive justice and you the one who should pay for your crime...I extend to you the same manner of forgiveness that Jesus himself extended to me. Just as he no longer holds my sin against me; I no longer hold yours against you."

Zamperini forgave all of the torture and pain, even though these men hadn't asked for it; maybe even believing what they did was justifiable given the state of war that existed between Japan and the United States. He overcame yet again the classification of victim status and went on in that unbroken spirit to say, "I will not allow this situation to define me ONE MORE DAY."

I've not been that man. It's time to be so. Its time to take this example and apply it to the small mind of one Aaron Peternel because he, just like Zamperini, will never get farther than the level of forgiveness he extends...

So tonight starts the process...not of forgetting...but of forgiving. I don't forgive because I have received an apology. I forgive that I may live in freedom.

Seeing Jesus in Me

2014-10-19T09:30:00.002-04:00

One of the most impactful creeds I have ever heard is what is known as the shorter Westminster Catechism. The words simply state, "The chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever." I've thought about that a lot recently, and I have battled in my mind this medical condition which has been thrust upon me. It's been easy to be all over the page, from bouts of anger to moments of depression. I've had glimpses of Jesus and yet 'dinner' with the devil.

And why, because I fight for control. I understand a bit more of what Jesus said when he spoke these words, "whoever seeks to gain his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me, he will truly find it." In a secondary context, perhaps Jesus words can be interpreted..."When I have you, you have life. When you have you you live out the masquerade."

So I, and frankly you (everyday) have to make a choice. What will I do with Jesus? Neutral I can not be..." That question needs be answered in the best of days. That question needs be answered in the worst as well.
There is a unique similarity in the best and worst of times. In the best of times its easy to take control because nothing presses you. In the worst of days its easy to take control because everything presses you.

So we need to find the balance...

Well I am not an expert, but I believe that part of the balance is understanding that this thing called Christianity goes beyond you or I, the person holding onto it. The world notices our christianity in the best and worst of times. They see how we handle prosperity, and if we truly believe that God is the source of our effectiveness. They see how we handle crisis, and if we truly believe that Jesus is our healer.

And in some ways we will be responsible for our testimony to them.
My goal today is found in Titus 2: "so that in every way they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive."

I want to be an attractive Christian who makes Jesus attractive, regardless of my circumstances.

Jesus becomes attractive when people don't see us in how we live our lives, but see Him.

Last supper skit I wrote for Easter 2014

2014-04-18T12:33:00.001-04:00

You may use this is you like. please just send me a response if you do.

Maundy Thursday service

‘Readings From the Room” - a look into the minds of those who participated in the last Supper

Jesus - Well, tonight is the night. Everything that has happened in my life to this moment is for these next 3 days. In these next 3 days the plan of my father will come to be. I am excited, yet anxious. I have joy because I know that the chains of sin will soon be broken, yet I, in these confines of this physical body, dread what I know is coming.

It isn’t so much the pain of death, but the pain that those I love will experience. The father has told me some things, but in this mortal body I am not aware of all things. I too must accept some things as a matter of faith.

I know what will occur these next 4 days. I know the love I have for my disciples. I know the love that they have for me. I have a great desire to be with them tonight, my last night clothed in this temporary body. Tonight will be very meaningful.

I wonder, if I could crawl into their thoughts, what are they thinking about tonight?

Peter - This is it. He is finally going to do it. Jesus is finally going to proclaim His kingdom and he is going to use the passover to show people what we have all seen for so long. I’ll admit at first I was doubtful. The fish catch, that was probably the beginning of my fascination with this man. I mean look, I am an experienced fisherman and what I saw…that doesn't happen. That simply does not happen.

I am a skeptic, yet there were other things that helped sway me to this man. I remember when we were on the boat. Again, I am an experienced fisherman. This implies that I know how to use a boat. That night, we saw everything as lost. The storm, I’ll never forget that storm, but this guy, He’s asleep. It’s almost like He had a confidence that could overlook the circumstances.

I thought we were going to die!

I could tell you about my walking on water, or as the brothers like to call it, the day Jesus fished for Peter. I could tell you about the miracles, but where would I even begin. All I know is that it seems like everything has brought us to this one point. Jesus is going to proclaim his kingdom, and I get to be on the ground floor.

I wonder what position I’ll have in the new government. I can see myself as high counselor to His majesty. I know I had better get a good spot, after all I am the oldest. I am the most outspoken. if Jesus can count on anyone, He can sure count on me.

Whats that - this is my body broken. Uhm, Jesus can we talk about this? Blood shed? Jesus, I thought we had this conversation. I am never going to let these things happen to you. I have your back. You can count on me!

Deny you three times. THERE IS NO WAY. Jesus none of us would do anything to hurt what your plan is, we want to be there when you will proclaim your kingdom. We want a part in the festivities. Jesus quit talking like you’re going to die; thats just not happening.

Jesus - ahh peter. Such raw potential yet that is hindered by his confidence that he has…not in me, but in himself. I wish He could have seen past his desire to serve me on his terms. My father tells me that Peter will learn. Until then, my grace will be enough.

John, perhaps the youngest of this group, has a keen sense of who I am. I wonder what He is thinking about tonight?

John - He just amazes me. I think of Jesus and I just want to be close to Him. Here is a guy who teaches with such power and authority. He wows the masses with his words and his great miraculous deeds, but thats not what impresses me.

What impresses me is that other side of Jesus. What impresses me is that side that was only seen by mainly the brothers and I. Here is a guy who may very well rid our nation of Roman rule. It looks like He will bring honor and validity back to our ancient worship. He certainly connects people to God…yet he has this other side.

It’s hard to describe that other side but I’ll try. He’s quiet, but he laughs. He’s intense and strong, but he weeps. He teaches peace but wars against religious acts. He calls us all together for our seder meal, and he, the one who will be king, strips down and washes our feet.

The other brothers were really weirded out by that I promise you, but I wasn’t. I think as I watched him perform that menial act, i understood that Jesus mission was not what so many of us thought it was. When He stripped down, I got the illustration. As He was greater than us, yet become less to serve us, so we should become less, to serve others.

It was like an epiphany, and I realized that Jesus wouldn't be with us for very much longer. So I walked over to Him, sat on his sofa, and just ignored the stigma and just leaned into his chest.

He didn't push me away, just gently slid and arm around my should as if to say, you get it, Im so glad that you get it.

Jesus - When John leaned into my chest, I gripped him like a father would his terrified child. With that grip I hoped to communicate that I would never, no never, not ever leave him or forsake Him. When John leaned into my chest, I realize why he did it. John was saying goodbye, or maybe its more like when you hug a family member before a great trip, “Ill see you soon.”

And then there was Judas. Here’s the thing about Judas. My father revealed to me what Judas would do, yet I never stopped offering him grace to change. I guess I had a hope that He would see the error in his thinking and he would repent and recognize me for who I am and my mission.

Let’s consider a moment how he entered tonight.

Judas - It’s a mixed bag of emotions that I take into tonight. I’m excited in one sense, because tonight, whether He wants to or not, Jesus is going to have to show His power. Yet, there is a part of me that hates the fact I have to go about getting him to do this the way that I did. I am sure that if He is pushed into a crisis for his life, that He will resist and His kingdom will be set up.

The 30 pieces of silver, well why shouldn't I get a kick back from my hard work. It takes a special mind to lead, and thats what I’m doing. It’s just business,

I can’t let on what’s going to happen. I’ll have to have a poker face. I have done it before as I kept the community wallet as the treasurer of this motley crew. Man I could have pilfered these guys of their last dime, but I took only a little here and a little there. Oversight fees. They never knew. I’m smarter than this lot.

So I’ll have to keep a straight face going into tonight. I’ll have to let no one know what will go on. When we all leave and end up going to the mount of olives, I’ll have to find some way to sneak away and let the temple guard know the wheres and the whens. I can do this without being seen. I can do this.

The meal was a little solemn. I can see that Jesus has something on His mind. He’s looking at me, “straight face straight face”…the one who dips his bread in the gravy will betray me.

O man. Betray! Doesn't He see what I am trying to do. Won’t you stand up and be the king you were meant to be. Won’t you rid us of this Roman rule! Won’t you set up your kingdom! Betray! He’s onto me. I got to push that word out of my mind. It’s time to get the job done. That’s it, I’m out. I’ve got to get the job done.

Jesus: He never got it, but it wasn't because I didn't try. he sat in every time of teaching. He and I would at times walk and talk alone. I know he thought himself smarter that the rest…the sad thing is that his smarts…his intellect…became his own destruction.

And for the last thoughts on the night, I want to explore what my good friend Mary - sister of Lazerus and Martha thought about tonights meal.

Mary - My sister Martha and I have been a part of Jesus ministry from almost the beginning. She was always the busy one and I well I just love to listen to this man. Now some might say that there were no women at this celebration, but I ask you, how many men could plan out a meal like this? Better question, have you eaten Peter’s attempts at cooking?

So try and accept that Martha and I were the silent ‘brains’ behind this operation, and I want to tell you about what I saw, from a woman’s perspective.

The meal was fairly common to the seders we had experienced in the past with a few notable exceptions: 1. When Jesus washed the disciples feet, I could only sit there and stare wondering 2 things:

Why didn't He use a house servant for that role? That role should have not been his to do.

Was He going to wash his hands before he sat down to eat again?

Look, I know what your thinking, but women my age are moms and we have a keen eye toward these things.

See but that wasn’t the most interesting thing. After the meal, Jesus took the uneven bread and he broke it. He said, this is my body broken for you. He passes it around to everyone then He moves to a communal cup. This is my blood shed for you. I wonder what He meant by that. I look around at the brothers, and their just participating as if they all understand what is going on.

Not me. I don’t understand. Who would want to hurt this beautiful man? How will they break His body? Why would anyone spill His blood?

He is a wonderful teacher, patient, kind, loving. Nope, I just don’t understand.

Jesus: its interesting to me that everyone got it, but each of them got only a piece. Peter was right. I would reveal my kingdom that night of the last supper, but it was not a kingdom of this world and it did not follow Peter’s agenda and plan.

John was right. He would see my illustrations and understand that I would soon be gone. John decided that would compel him to spend every moment that he could the closest that he could. He wanted to love me until He could love me again and surrendered his right to object to what would come, because of trust and because of love.

Judas was right too. Planning is a key part of leading, Yet He who can not not follow will never effectively lead. I wish Judas has seen God’s plan and not attempted to supersede it by imposing his own. My heart brakes for Judas. May he serve as a reminder of what not to do. My grace would have covered His sin too.

And Mary was right. I would have let the house servant was feet except that I wanted to make a point. I had said it to the disciples before, He who would be greatest must serve all.

That’s the point of this meal. Its not about my rights, my agenda or my way. The father has called me to die, and so I die obediently. I set the example, and call you to join me.

Remember, whoever saves his life will lose it, but whoever gives his life for me will true find it.

I gave my life so that the chains are gone, and you all are set free from sin, both its power and its consequence .

What will give your life for?