hot monogamy

How to Get in the Mood, Part 2

2011-12-01T09:02:00.001-08:00

I know this sounds strange to some, but if you’re experiencing low libido and are puzzled as to why it’s important to go see a doctor. I know, I know, who wants to sit in a doctor’s office and have a conversation about the most intimate part of your life, right? I understand, but keep in mind that low libido can be caused by many, many conditions and diseases. It’s wise to go to a doctor, explain your situation, and get checked out physically. Did you know that many common diseases cause low libido? Things like high blood pressure and diabetes are big culprits. Many medications can also cause low libido. Your doctor may be able to pinpoint a physical cause to your lack of libido.

How to Get in the Mood

2011-10-27T09:47:00.000-07:00

Continuing the conversation of low libido, I'm starting a series about getting in the mood. There are many practical things that can be done to increase your libido. Let me start off by saying that if you find yourself rarely being in the mood, you're not alone. God has designed our bodies differently than our husbands. Science reveals that men have much more testosterone running through their bodies, which causes them to think about and intiate sex a whole lot more than we women do. Of course there are exceptions to rule, but in general we women don't think about sex nearly as often as men do. That being the case, we women can't just sit around and wait for the mood to strike. In some cases it may rarely, or never strike!

So what's a woman to do? Should those of us who are rarely in the mood just expect our husbands to deal with it and endure a marriage devoid of intimacy? Certainly not! First, realize that sexual intimacy with your husband is key to your marriage and resolve to consider it a priority. Keep "sex with hubby" at the top of your list of things to do. Secondly, pray, pray, pray. Pray for your marriage, for your husband, and for yourself. Ask the Lord for grace to be a giving and considerate wife, putting the needs of your husband ahead of your own. Above all, pray that all that you do would be to the glory of God!

Ladies, this is where we begin. Stay tuned for more on how to get in the mood.

Top Reasons for Low Libido in Women

2011-10-25T09:24:00.000-07:00

In my post a few weeks ago I addressed the issue of low libido. As I stated in my post, I don't pretend to be in expert in the myriad of causes. Thankfully, there are great resources online for those of you who have lost that lovin' feeling and want some answers as to why. Here's the Mayo Clinic's top reasons for low libido in women.

Sex and the Supremacy of Christ

2011-09-30T18:51:00.000-07:00

I stumbled upon a wonderful review and, in my humble opinion, accurate assessment by Tim Challies of John Piper's Sex and Supremacy of Christ that is worth reposting here. The book is not new. In fact it came out in 2005 and to be clear I should point out Piper only authored a few chapters and the rest were written by various authors.

I'm sure this review will be extremely helpful to anyone considerding buying this book!

Lost that Lovin' Feeling?

2011-09-29T13:45:00.000-07:00

So what’s a girl to do when her libido has seemingly disappeared? Perhaps it’s been weeks since you had sex with your husband, or, God forbid, months! It happens to every woman at some point in her marriage. The desire for sex flickers like the wick of flame about to go out. I don’t pretend to be an expert on all the causes of low libido, but I have been through periods in my married life when sexual intimacy with my husband was not on the top of my list of things to do.

There are a myriad of reasons why it happens. I won’t even attempt to address the causes of low libido, but I would like to encourage those suffering from low libido with two very important words: DO SOMETHING! Let me unpack for you. If, like one Christian woman confessed to me, you’d rather sit in the dentist’s chair than have sex with your husband, YOU CANNOT simply shrug your shoulders, and think “oh well, he still has to be faithful to me.” She had been married for over twenty years when she started to have some minor physical problems which caused sex to become uncomfortable. Rather than address the issue with very viable and available options, she chose to simply give up her libido all together. The result? Her husband patiently endured this celibacy for over a year then became bitter and angry because his wife was unwilling to find a solution or even address the issue. Eventually, he met a woman and began an affair. I don’t need to describe the severe emotional trauma that ensued. You see, the message she gave her husband was “Don’t expect me to fulfill your need for intimacy, but I still expect you to fulfill my needs and be faithful.”

In a marriage ceremony we take vows putting us in a covenant with our husbands. We promise to love, honor, obey, cherish, forsaking others, until death do us part. We take these vows in the sight of God and as Christians we are commanded to do these things (keep our covenant promises) by our Lord. So when our libido goes south is it loving to do nothing? Is it cherishing our husbands when we don’t consider their feelings, or needs? Is it wise to ignore the inspired words of the apostle Paul in 1 Cor. 7:4 “Do not deprive one another lest ……..Satan tempt you”? I think not. To do nothing and ignore your low libido is a sure step to marital failure.

Quote for the Day

2011-06-05T14:33:00.000-07:00

"Although God's Word is never pornographic, it is unashamedly erotic. If this comes as an embarrassment to some Christians, it is only because we are more prudish than God is. The Bible celebrates the sexual act of love - exclusively within marriage - as a gift from God."

Dr. Philip Ryken, former pastor of Tenth Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia and current president of Wheaton College

Sex and Touching

2011-02-16T10:03:00.000-08:00

I recently read something new and very interesting in Michelle Weiner Davis' book, The Sex-Starved Marriage, about the connection between physical touch and one's sex life. She states "when couples are feeling good about each other and their sexual relationship, they are often physically affectionate as well." I started to think about my own marriage and whether this held true for us. Every marriage experiences sexual highs and lows, but as I pondered the last few weeks of my marriage I came to see that she's spot on. When we have a vibrant sex life we are more affectionate with each other and generally feel more connected. Weiner says "Show me a couple who has a mutually satisfying sexual relationship, and I'll show you a couple I can pick out of a crowd. There's an almost visible bond between them-the gentle touches, knowing glances, laughter, and warmth when their eyes meet. You can feel the connection between them."

She goes on to describe how sex releases "feel good" chemicals in our bodies that protect us from pain and give a sense of well-being. The author, who does not claim to be a Christian by the way, describes how sex creates a powerful bond and says the best way to "ensure a strong emotional and spiritual bond with your spouse is to do the one thing that defines your relationship as different from all others: stay sexually connected." I find it interesting that this secular psychologist has picked up on, whether she realizes it or not, biblical principles. Namely, how God created man and woman to become one flesh (Gen. 2:24), how we are not to deprive each other sexually (1 Cor. 7:5), and how we're to render affection to our spouses (1 Cor. 7:3-4).

Weiner points out that when sex becomes a problem in marriage, couples stop touching each other. She says "they don't hold hands, snuggle on the couch, rub each other's back or feet, or even hug when they part." Sadly, I've seen lots of marriages that look like this....no touching, no PDA (public display of affection).

Happy Obligatory Romance Day!

2011-02-12T23:38:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am a scrooge when it comes to Valentine's Day. Why you ask? Well, it's because I don't like the fact that husbands feel pressured one day out of the year to do something romantic for their wives. Have you ever been at a mall, or even a grocery store on Valentine's Day? There are crowds of panic stricken men, wandering aimlessly through the aisles, searching for something, they're not quite sure what, to give to their wives. Why designate only one day a year to romance? Why not practice random of acts of romance throughout the year? After all, Valentine's Day is more about Hallmark, flower companies, and jewelers filling their coffers than it is about love.

Here's my personal Valentine's Day resolution: resolve to tell my husband (via cards, e-mails, and verbally) how much I love him more frequently for the rest of the year, and schedule more surprise sex for him!

Overcoming the demon of laziness..

2011-02-11T14:20:00.000-08:00

Are you possessed by the demon of laziness? Read on to find out.

1) Do you routinely avoid putting make up on?

2) Do you frequently find yourself with stubbly legs and are not bothered by it?

3) Do you wear the same kind of shoes your grandmother owns?

4) Has your hair style not changed since 1989?

5) Do you think lingerie is "worldly"?

6) Do you think being modest means all clothing must be baggy?

7) Do you ever find yourself thinking "Why bother getting dressed up/made up just for my husband?"

8) Do you ever find yourself thinking "Why exercise, I know my husband loves me just the way I am."

9) Do you ever find yourself thinking "My husband should love me no matter what I look like."

10) Do you balk at women who make an effort at their appearance and secretly label them as "worldly"?

11) Have you ever thought "Why have sex with my husband? After all he's commanded to be faithful to me no matter what."

If you've answered yes to at least two of the questions above, you may possibly be possessed by the demon of laziness. Let me explain....The demon of laziness frequently targets Christian women, especially middle-aged ones (like me), and convinces them they need not put any effort into their appearance. This crafty demon possesses women into thinking that all forms of improving personal appearance are not spiritual, but very worldly, and to be avoided. These possessed women are diluted into thinking they are more spiritual for going without make-up, hair dye, modern clothes, etc. They frequently say things like "I've had these jeans since college" or "I've worn this denim jumper since I was first married." These poor women believe that their Christian husbands are super saints who never look at the physical, but only the spiritual.

What is the goal of the demon of laziness? To make it extremely difficult for Christian men to find their wives physically attractive and in the end cause them to look for beauty elsewhere. This demon works closely with the demon of frigidity so don't be surprised to find you have more than one demon to fight. These willy demons aim to ruin your marriage and bring shame to Christ. The demon of laziness loves to use 1 Peter 3:3-4 to convince women that outward "adorning" is sinful and evil. It's the typical m.o. of Satan - taking God's word and twisting it.

How does one overcome the demon of laziness? By repenting and asking your husband for forgiveness first. Then, gradually, as you devote some time to making yourself appealing to your husband, the demon will finally leave you in disgust. May our Lord strengthen you to fight against the kingdom of darkness!

I'm In Love !!

2011-01-22T22:45:00.000-08:00

After over twenty years of marriage, I'm proud to announce that I'm still in love!! I am tremendously blessed with a man who loves the Lord, loves me, and loves our children. He's a caring, loving, husband, a wonderful father, my best friend, and my sweet lover. When I was a young bride I never thought it possible to love my husband more, but it is. As the years have passed we have suffered trials together, laughed together, cried together, fought together, forgiven each other over and over, and loved each other more deeply every year. He is truly a gift from my heavenly father. Perfect? Not be a long shot, but that's okay because neither am I. We're simply two pilgrims, traveling together hand in hand. I wouldn't have it any other way!

Marital Retreats

2010-11-20T22:37:00.000-08:00

My husband and I are firm believers in the need for married couples to get away together, especially once you start a family. Getting away for a couple of days together, or even a night, is so healthy for one's marriage. It removes both of you from the everyday grind and all the trappings. A little get away puts you in new surroundings. It allows you to enjoy each other intimately without the fear of the kids waking, or walking in. It's a great time to relax and focus on each other. I know that in today's economy a little marital retreat may be beyond the grasp of many. However, there are ways to do a little get away on the cheap. Here are a few ideas:

1. Look for deals on sites such as priceline.com and others that offer great deals on hotel rooms and travel.

2. Stay in town to save on travel costs and use the money you save to stay in a nice hotel.

3. Send the kids to Grandma's for a weekend or even a night then create some ambiance in your home by surprising your spouse with a special dinner and you for dessert.

4. Don't have family near you? Swap some time with another couple, or ask a single person who one day would like to have children to watch yours!

5. Go without your morning Starbucks and start a savings fund (or an envelope) designated for your future trips.

There are many ways to be creative. Popular author and theologian, R.C. Sproul, stated in his marriage book, The Intimate Marriage, that he and his wife considered their yearly get away so important that they decided to live with one car so that they could save and afford their yearly trip. They so treasured that special time together that they were willing to be inconvenienced in order to protect their time together. I thought that was one of the most romantic things I had ever heard!

If you have any ideas on how to manage marital retreats on the cheap, please share them!

The Sexually Confident Wife

2010-11-17T19:43:00.000-08:00

The Sexually Confident Wife, by Shannon Ethridge has been out for some time, but I had not read it until recently. I had heard much about the book and looked forward to reading it. I have to say that my first feeling as I started to read was one of confusion. I thought the author was a Christian, so I went to her website and although she doesn't have a personal claim of a specific faith, the website states she is a "certified" Christian Life Coach (whatever that is) and part of the American Association of Christian Counselors. As I read the first chapter I realized very quickly that the book is not written from a biblical perspective and seems very inconsistent at times. I have no problem reading a book on sex by a non-believer. I can sift through chaff and take any useful information. However, this gal who is a "Christian Life Coach" uses terms such as "God" and "higher power" and talks about "spirituality" without ever addressing what the bible has to say about sex in marriage. Very disappointing.

I was further disappointed while reading the chapter entitled "Maintaining Healthy Boundaries" where the author discusses the issues of pornography and threesomes. Nowhere does she use the word sin, or adultery. She simply "discourages" the reader from those activities and says of threesomes "Don't go there." Again, very disappointing.

There is some helpful truth throughout the book. I especially like the sections on female orgasms and sexual technique. Ethridge does a good job in the chapters entitled "Developing a Girl Scout Mentality" and "Overcoming the Church Lady Syndrome" of encouraging ladies to put effort into their appearance, making themselves attractive to their husbands, and not considering sex taboo.

I also found the book to contain waaaay too much information about the author. She gives an overly detailed account of her sexual abuse, addiction, and early exploits. If you choose to read this book, I caution you to be discerning as you read. Prepare to encounter TMI about the author, and some moral inconsistencies.

Ten Reasons Why I Loooove My Corset

2010-09-09T23:00:00.000-07:00

Years ago I discovered the virtues of the corset. How did it happen? Let me tell you a little story. After having multiple children and earning many stretch marks in the process, I became desperate for lingerie that didn't bare my stomach, or compel my poor husband to say "no thanks." I felt the need for something new, something fresh, something that would enhance my body, hide the battle of the bulge, shield my silvery marks, and make me feel beautiful again. Enter the corset. An elegant (not trashy), black, Edwardian, lace trimmed, genuine boning, beautiful corset. I have come to love this little gem. I eventually had to retire it and buy another. Here are my top ten reasons why I love it sooo much:

1. It's awfully pretty.

2. It makes my waist line look ever so small.

3. It makes my breasts look ever so big.

4. It makes me feel feminine.

5. It makes me feel beautiful.

6. It makes me comfortable and confident.

7. It's old fashioned.

8. My husband has a near-heart attack every time I put it on.

9. My husband can't keep his eyes off me when I wear it.

10. It always, always, enhances our lovemaking. :)

Seduce Him.....

2010-08-24T23:55:00.000-07:00

There is a certain thrill for men when they are seduced by their wives. Acknowledged by men the world over, being pursued is a huge ego boost. It makes them feel wanted, appreciated, attractive, and most importantly, loved. Sometimes we women take our husbands for granted. We just assume that it’s his job to do the seducing. He is the man after all, right? When we think of the roles in marriage, seducing falls into the same column as taking out the trash, changing the oil, or mowing the lawn, doesn’t it? We assume that we women are the only ones who enjoy being attractive and wanted.

That being the case, I occasionally take it upon myself to reverse the roles and be the seductress. Well, before you object vehemently, let me unpack what I mean by being a seductress. It means that sometimes I initiate sex with my husband. Maybe I’ll send him an email telling him what to expect later in the evening, or book us a hotel room for the night as a surprise. It means that I don’t wait for him to ask or hint for sex, but I offer myself freely and enthusiastically. It means that I put on some new lingerie as a surprise. It means that I seek to serve my husband sexually by asking him what he enjoys.

I know that there are still some of you who object. “But why should I? He’s the man. I do so much already! It’s just one more thing for me to do!” To you I say, try to walk in the shoes of your husband. Think of all the responsibilities laid on him. He’s the provider, protector, priest of the home, and when he would like to be intimate with his wife, he has to pursue her. If you were him, don’t you think it would be nice to have the tables turned every once in awhile? To feel handsome and wanted?

In scripture we see a pattern of mutual sexual service to each other. Paul says in 1 Cor. 7:4 “For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” Here is a command to serve each other intimately. What better way to serve your spouse than to initiate sex, tell him he’s handsome, and seek to give him pleasure?

Catch-22

2009-09-02T21:51:00.000-07:00

I recently read Michele Weiner Davis’ excellent book The Sex-Starved Marriage, Boosting Your Marriage Libido. Now, I must point out that this book is not considered a Christian book and I did disagree with the author on various points, but the author has some wonderful insights and very practical help.

In a chapter entitled “What’s Causing My Desire Doldrums?” she has a very interesting theory. Here’s an excerpt from the book describing her theory:

THE CATCH-22

“If you’re a woman, and you’re like many other women, you need to feel close to your husband emotionally in order to desire him physically. And for you, being close entails spending time together and engaging in meaningful conversation. It means feeling more important than his work, sports, buddies, and computer time. It requires discussions that delve much deeper than the pragmatic. ‘Who’s-going-to-drive-the-kids-to-ballet-lesson-day?’ or ‘What’s-for-dinner?’ For you, intimate conversations are like foreplay. A woman’s libido can often be measured by her husband’s willingness to get close ‘woman style.’ It’s a rather simple formula that not enough highly sex men know.

But there’s a flip side to this formula. Many men don’t seem to get the same charge out of talking that women do. It’s not that men don’t have a need to be close to other people. They do. They just do it differently than women do……….Your husband needs to feel connected to you, but for him, your physical relationship rather than your conversation is the tie that binds. Any form of physical contact-touching, kissing, petting, making love, having quickies-makes your husband feel closer to you. And once a man feels close to his wife ‘man style’ he’s more motivated to meet your need to talk and spend quality time together.

You don’t have to have a degree in psychology to notice the unfortunate catch-22. Women need to feel satisfied emotionally in order to feel turned on or be motivated to satisfy their partners sexually. Men need to feel good about their sexual relationships in order to be invested in satisfying their wives emotionally. A go-nowhere waiting game is what happens next.

Sex-starved men wait for their wives to become sexier, more flirtatious, and receptive to their sexual advances before putting energy into their relationships. They shut down emotionally. They end up watching inordinate amounts of television. They leave their soda cans in the family room. They forget they have children. They clam up.

This makes women feel communication starved. Communication starved women feel depressed, short-changed, and resentful. They develop panic attacks, cry, overeat or under eat, lose sleep, take up residence in their less than attractive sweat suits, nag, criticize, and, last, but not least, shut the door on intimacy. They shut the door on intimacy. They simply lose desire. When men tune out, women turn off. And when women turn off, men tune out.”

Your marriage may not be “sex-starved” as described in this author’s book, but I’d like know if this basic catch-22 holds true for you? Do you need to feel emotionally connected to your spouse before you can feel sexual desire?

Sex Talk

2009-08-21T11:55:00.000-07:00

Check out this telling article on crosswalk.com written by a young Christian woman named Betsy St. Amant. Besty confirms what I know to be already true; that is that most Christian parents are not talking to their children about sex. She points out how young Christian adults have a hard time transitioning from considering sex taboo (prior to marriage), to embracing their sexuality in marriage.

It's fact that if parents don't educate their children on what the bible has to say about sex (both negative and positive commands) than our culture will educate our children. What we see on TV, movies, magazines is what Satan would like us to think sex is. Like everything else Satan does, he takes God's good gifts and disfigures and distorts the truth. Do we really want pop culture dictating sexual education to our children? I think not!

John Piper's New Marriage Book

2009-05-27T23:01:00.000-07:00

Popular pastor and author, John Piper, has recently written an excellent book on marriage called This Momentary Marriage, A Parable of Permanence. In his book he dedicates one chapter to the issue of faith and sex in marriage. Although the chapter is relatively short, Piper unpacks what scripture reveals about marital sex and discusses the practical implications. I highly recommend this book!

The following is an excerpt from the chapter titled “Faith & Sex in Marriage”:

“First, faith believes God when he says that sexual relations in marriage are good and clean and should be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. Second, faith increases the joy of sexual relations in marriage because it frees us from the guilt of the past. Faith believes the promise that Christ died for all our sins, that in him we might have guilt-free, Christ-exalting sexual relations in marriage. And finally, faith wields the weapon of sexual intercourse against Satan. A married couple gives a severe blow to the head of that ancient serpent when they aim to give as much sexual satisfaction to each other as possible. Is it not a mark of amazing grace that on top of all the pleasure that the sexual side of marriage brings, it also proves to be a fearsome weapon against our ancient foe?

This should not surprise us. Marriage at its exquisite peak of pleasure speaks powerfully the truth of covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church. And that love is the most powerful force in the world. It is not surprising then that Satan’s defeat, Christ’s glory, and our pleasure should come together in this undefiled marriage bed.”

Tell him!

2009-04-13T22:23:00.000-07:00

Here's a profound truth, wait for it.........humans use language to communicate. That's right. It's the mode of communication God has designed for his creatures. It's also how God has chosen to reveal himself, in words. I don't think anyone would argue with that fact. So why is it that so many women honestly believe that their husbands should just instinctively know exactly how to please them sexually? Why is it we (women) are sometimes disappointed when our spouse doesn't perform the way we want or expect? We're disappointed when foreplay doesn't last as long as we like, when he doesn't kiss us in a particular place, or way. We pout and mentally accuse them of selfishness.

Here's the kicker: they can't read minds! Your husband can't possibly know how to fulfill you sexually if you don't tell him. Yes, you have to use words. In whatever language you speak, you must put the correct consonants and vowels together to form coherent speech that articulates your likes, dislikes, and any expectations. I know some women get uncomfortable with the idea of discussing details when it comes to sex, but realize this is your husband you're talking to. This isn't a porn film, it's not wrong to talk about sex with your husband. Get over it! If anything it's extremely important to your marriage. Your poor husband does not own a crystal ball which tells him how to please you. He may have an idea, but it's just that...an idea.

Most men really, really want to please their wives sexually, but how can they if we don't tell them what we want? Many men state they're extremely aroused when their wives are evidently enjoying themselves during sex. So it's important to talk to our husbands about sex. This may include frank discussions out of bed, and during sex gently telling him what you like, guiding him to those spots that make you crazy. You're basically a teacher, he is your student, and the subject is your body. Be careful not to complain or criticize, just encourage and give them details such as "I really like it when you....." or "let's try............."

Communication is a key ingredient to any healthy marriage, and most certainly, a healthy sex life. So ladies, tell him what pleases you and remember what Paul tells us in 1 Corinithians 7:3b "Let the husband render to his wife the affection due to her, and likewise also the wife to her husband." In other words, bless one another sexually. Yes, make your needs known, but also ask your husband what he desires and seek to be a student of his body.

Focus!

2009-03-07T22:49:00.000-08:00

In my last post I encouraged you to think about sex. Now I'd like you to take the next logical step. Once you're with your husband, during foreplay and during sex, focus on what you're doing! I know that sounds like a no brainer, duh! However, I think that in our busy, hectic, multitasking lives, we're often preoccupied even during our intimate times with the one we love. Our minds are racing throughout the day and when it comes time to enjoy our spouse, we often can't turn off the monlogue in our heads.."what am I gonna make for dinner tomorrow, I wish Johnny would go to bed without whining, I really need to make a Costco run, etc, etc." Sound familiar, or am I the only one?

Instead of focusing on the beauty of our man, the pleasure of the moment, we totally rob ourselves of the enjoyment by not focusing on the gift that God has given us. So ladies...focus on the details - sights, sounds, tastes, touch. Turn off the running commentary in your mind and enjoy.

Think about it......

2009-02-28T22:56:00.001-08:00

Whenever I turn to the Song of Solomon I'm always amazed at the kindness of God. He's left us with a beautiful picture of conjugal love which gives vivid imagery of a woman's desire for her husband. She describes his features, praises his body, and uses poetic language to describe her lover. She obviously spends time thinking of her lover and the act of sex itself.

As women, we spend a lot time thinking about many things....finances, kids, careers, our household, etc., etc., the list goes on and on. But how much time do we spend actually thinking about our spouses, or the details of the last time you made love? My guess is, not a lot.

That's precisely the problem. We need to focus and think about our men. Think about their bodies, how they feel, the color of their skin, the shape of their bodies, and more specifically think of the pleasure of sex. It's not a sin to think about having sex with your husband!!! That's right. You heard it here! It is a good thing to think about the pleasure of being intimate with your spouse. Think of the feel of him entering you, the movement of your bodies, and pleasure that ensues. Spend some time pondering these things and you will find yourself aroused and wanting your spouse more frequently!

So it begins....

2009-02-26T09:08:00.000-08:00

I've contemplated starting a blog encouraging Christian women to practice hot monogamy for a few years now and I've finally taken the plunge! I'm a pastor's wife who is happily married and has enjoyed hot monogamy for nearly twenty years. I'm not a sex therapist, or psychologist. I'm simply a Christian woman who has learned along the way and has witnessed what a lack of sex can do to marriages. My goal is to help other women understand that marital sex is a precious gift given by God and is to be enjoyed to the glory of God.

I truly believe that more marriages would be saved if women had a better appreciation and understanding of God's good gift of sex. Too often, in Christian circles, there is a lot said about marriage, being a godly wife, an excellent wife, a praying wife, etc, etc, without ever mentioning the importance of a healthy, vibrant sex life in marriage. Don't get me wrong, we should strive to be godly, excellent, praying wives. But if we don't have frequent, vibrant sex with our spouses, our marriages are doomed. So I hope this blog will be helpful to you as you seek to experience hot monogamy!