Oh, the cleverness of me!

I dreamed a dream of a peculiar people

2015-07-13T16:32:00.000-07:00

Almost four years ago, I wrote this post, and today I am compelled to add to it. Get ready for some reading. If not, skip to the last paragraph for the kicker.

Also, this is not a retraction. My post from four years ago is exactly relevant today. But, the moral or the goal of that post is oriented toward reconciling religious beliefs in government. That is completely separate from the goal of religion, as I am coming to understand a little bit better.

So, I dreamed a dream, and wanted to share it with you. You may have heard it before, as have I, but this time I got to be a part of it:

"I beheld myself that I was in a dark and dreary waste. And after I had traveled for the space of many hours in darkness, I began to pray unto the Lord that he would have mercy on me, according to the multitude of his tender mercies.

"And it came to pass after I had prayed unto the Lord I beheld a large and spacious field. And it came to pass that I beheld a tree, whose fruit was desirable to make one happy. And it came to pass that I did go forth and partake of the fruit thereof; and I beheld that it was most sweet, above all that I ever before tasted. Yea, and I beheld that the fruit thereof was white, to exceed all the whiteness that I had ever seen.

"And as I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy; wherefore, I began to be desirous that my family should partake of it also; for I knew that it was desirable above all other fruit.

"And as I cast my eyes round about, that perhaps I might discover my family also, I beheld a river of water; and it ran along, and it was near the tree of which I was partaking the fruit. And I looked to behold from whence it came; and I saw the head thereof a little way off; and at the head thereof I beheld your mother Sariah, and Sam, and Nephi; and they stood as if they knew not whither they should go.

"And it came to pass that I beckoned unto them; and I also did say unto them with a loud voice that they should come unto me, and partake of the fruit, which was desirable above all other fruit. And it came to pass that they did come unto me and partake of the fruit also.

"And it came to pass that I was desirous that Laman and Lemuel should come and partake of the fruit also; wherefore, I cast mine eyes towards the head of the river, that perhaps I might see them. And it came to pass that I saw them, but they would not come unto me and partake of the fruit."
-1 Nephi 8:7-18

I must have read this at least 15 times in my life, and I always quickly made the association with missionary work, the love of God, keep to the strait and narrow, yada yada yada. What stuck out to me in my dream, though, was what comes later. First, we see the "world":

"And I also cast my eyes round about, and beheld, on the other side of the river of water, a great and spacious building; and it stood as it were in the air, high above the earth. And it was filled with people, both old and young, both male and female; and their manner of dress was exceedingly fine; and they were in the attitude of mocking and pointing their fingers towards those who had come at and were partaking of the fruit.

"And after they had tasted of the fruit they were ashamed, because of those that were scoffing at them; and they fell away into forbidden paths and were lost."
-1 Nephi 8:26-28

And to really do it justice, or perhaps to understand better what I'm trying to point out, you should also read chapters 11, 12, and 13:1-9

So, back to those jerky-jerks in the great and spacious building. What a bunch of jerks, am I right? Good thing they got what's coming to them, eh? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) NO! I'll just pick on myself here: too often I have been the one standing under the tree and pointing and laughing at those back in the building, and that is precisely NOT what happens under the tree. No, what happens under the tree is what happened back in chapter 8, verse 37 & 38:

"And he did exhort them then with all the feeling of a tender parent, that they would hearken to his words, that perhaps the Lord would be merciful to them, and not cast them off; yea, my father did preach unto them. And after he had preached unto them, and also prophesied unto them of many things, he bade them to keep the commandments of the Lord"

All the feelings of a tender parent. Or brother or sister. Or friend.

So, my friends, you can look at this in the context of recent court rulings, or previous court rulings, or just every day life: are we scorning those in the building, or are we lamenting for a loved one and begging them to come and partake of eternal life?

Again, I absolutely love D&C 134, and recommend you look at that again. When it comes to governments, we'll have to hammer out how to live with one another. When it doesn't go the way we want, I'm looking at the beginning of verse 12:

"We believe it just to preach the gospel to the nations of the earth, and warn the righteous to save themselves from the corruption of the world"

Lastly, and for those of you who skipped everything, Alma gave up the judgement seat to preach for the rest of his days because he understood that it is the Gospel that will end up saving people, not the illusory freedoms of man. Man's laws will always differ from God's laws, and the people who choose to follow God will always be a "peculiar" people. If you're "preaching" by complaining about government...you're doing it wrong.

On Disney Princesses (and Princes)

2014-11-27T13:28:00.002-07:00

This is something I've been pondering on for a while. No strong opinion this time, but I would like to present another side of the story, as I see it. I am seeing/perceiving a lot of encouragement for the "new" Disney Princess, and, as the father of three daughters whom I hope to raise as strong independent women, I am liking it. My oldest daughter is turning 9, and I'm counting on her to take me to space someday.

Conversely, I'm seeing a lot of flack against the "traditional" Princesses as well, and it just rubs me the wrong way. This isn't just a way for me to complain about the latest live action movies, but since I brought it up: They SUCK. I may just be overcome by nostalgia in my bias, and I also purposely admit here that I do NOT understand what it's like to grow up as a woman, but they are all more concerned with the visuals than story, and I believe it is at the story's expense.

Maleficent is the latest offender that I've seen; I think it could have been so much more. I might argue that it was pandering with the demonization of men throughout the movie, including the representation of the twist on "true love's kiss." Again, wanting to raise my daughters as strong independent women, this isn't a knock on the twist itself, just that I feel it was more of the "I don't need a man" thought than the redemption of Maleficent herself. They completely rushed the story part of her coming to love Aurora and focused instead on the needless visuals.

If you're still here, and still awake, I'd like to go back to that nostalgia, and (of course) talk a little bit about myself; perhaps you'll come to understand what I mean about all this. I was raised by three women: my mom and two older sisters. My mom, being the provider, worked two jobs as a rule, and my sisters were in the same boat just trying to figure things out at we went along. Though they were older, I saw them as equals, and wasn't concerned with learning life lessons from them in my youth (and still struggle learning from them as an adult...love you sissies!). I attribute much of my early knowledge of life to my media consumption.

The long and the short of it all is that though these early Disney Princesses are now maligned by feminists, and for many of the right reasons, I learned how to be a good man mostly because of them. I was looking for Mrs Right from a very young age; I longed to be in love my whole life, and if I were to obtain the favor of such an important woman, I knew I had to act the part. I had to respect her, adore her, and protect her. I had to be valiant, have courage, and face hordes of "enemies" if necessary to be with her. I would not be her master or superior, I would be her partner. These lessons were later repeated with my sisters in my teenage years as they dealt with myriad stupid boys, and I saw not just their heartache, but their disappointment.

I guess the ending sentiment of this post is that I feel the need to defend the old DPs, not only because they helped make me who I am, but also because I think they can also teach girls that they are worth it. Not that they need a man to be happy, but that they need the right man if and when that time comes in their life.

I guess it's all a moot point for my girls since they don't watch the princess movies anyway. :)

In defense of Michelle Obama

2014-11-22T11:29:00.002-07:00

This may be a very confusing or contradictory post. Or not. I don't know, my thoughts are all over the place.

Going through my feeds this morning, I came across this from theblaze: #ThanksMichelleObama If you're vehemently against "supporting" a conflicting view by clicking on that link, I'll sum it up for you. That hashtag is trending around the country; Twitter users are showing many school lunches that are obviously less than tasteful, and the nutritional content could be easily debated.

No one is above criticism, no one. But I just want to go and ask each one of these kids if Mrs. Obama made a surprise visit to their cafeteria and she herself forced this specific food upon them. Do you really think this was her goal in her healthy lunch program?

Politics today, as a whole, is just one knee-jerk reaction after another, and theblaze article (and the sentiment of the trending hashtag) is case-in-point.

The author would like to take a moment to remind you that he thinks President Obama will go down in history as the worst President in the history of the United States until now. But I think that because of his policies. I believe that his ultimate goals of power are obvious compared with the altruistic prefaces he puts on them. Whether or not he understands what is at the end of the power-grab road that he is on, I can't figure out; though I'm still leaning toward he having a puppet-master somewhere.

This is not limited to President Obama, or even the Democratic Party, but I believe they are the worst abusers of public trust right now. Though I could point to several examples that are "Democrat" led (cough cough "Affordable" Care Act), I want to go back to the schools with Common Core.

Is anyone really against improving the education system? Just answer the question, please. No caveats, just that simple question: Are you for or against improving the education system. Now, there's a couple of problems that happen immediately after this question:

Without getting into all the questions of "What constitutes improvement," or Federal v. States involvement, etc, I say the simple problem lies in all the add-on garbage. Specifically: "Data elements include or will include newborn screening (genetic) data; preschool screening including socioemotional (mental health) data; biometric data (like iris scans); homework; assessments, that according to the federal government will now include measurement of psychological characteristics; parental voting status and religious affiliation; extra-curricular activities; college data; income; and other employment data." - See more here.
If you oppose common core because of one or all of these privacy intrusions, you're a monster that hates children and wants to murder puppies (cats, of course, are already evil, so you likely have one on your lap right now).

Loosely tying it all together, what do they say is their goal, and is their plan designed to solely accomplish that? I know that you have to measure progress in order to see if you were successful, but I fail to see how those intrusions fit in to the goal of improving education.

Back to Michelle Obama. Is she asking a barrage of unrelated personal questions and wanting intimate details about your family in order to move towards having a healthier lunch and healthier kids? No. She doesn't deserve this treatment. Her husband does, but not her. #stopthekneejerk

Watching the clouds roll by

2014-04-20T20:18:00.001-07:00

First off, this is somewhat of a farewell post. I'm back on the Facebook for the social stuff, but more importantly, I've found a replacement for blogging. It's a service called OhLife, and it suits me quite well for a journal, which is actually what I've been using this blog for anyway. That's right, driving away friends and family because of my religious and political views is just a side-benefit, one that can be more easily accomplished on Facebook. :)

Secondly, a LOT has happened in a short amount of time, so for those who are interested, here's the whole story:
Our family's goal has been to move to Missouri for quite a while now. Recently, things at my job had taken a LARGE turn for the worse (something I actually predicted last June), and with the future of my company in serious doubt - the earnest searching began in February. Three weeks ago I replaced my water heater and Jac had ear surgery for a perforated drum. Two and a half weeks ago, I was offered a job in MO. Two weeks ago, I accepted a job in MO. Twelve days ago, I picked up my car after dropping $3K on a new transmission (thanks Uncle Sam). Eleven days ago, I listed my house for sale and put an offer on a house in MO. Ten days ago, my car blew one or more valve seats in the engine and I didn't pull my hair out because I knew it would hurt a lot and just grow back anyway...so I sold it for $500 and cut my losses. Nine days ago, I bought another used car with some help from family, but now I'm in debt. Most free time since we listed the house has been spent doing little chores to make it more presentable for selling, stuff we just hadn't gotten around to fixing, weeding, etc, and I passed a 6 credit hour class at WGU after only studying for one hour - total. This last week was spent wrapping things up for work and showing the house, and thankfully I got to celebrate my anniversary, a friend's birthday, and have a farewell of sorts before I left. I arrived last night in MO after a 15 hour drive (starting at 3:30 in the morning), and I start my new job tomorrow!

There are two times in my life where I have looked up at the sky, seen the clouds being rushed so incredibly fast, and had the distinct thought: "Wow, God sure wants those clouds somewhere else in a hurry." I kind of feel like those clouds right now, and I know that all these changes are His doing, and based on the faith and prayers of family and friends. Thank you all, you know who you are.

To those that I missed in my truncated farewell, you truly will be missed.

Theoden revisited

2013-12-09T12:05:00.000-07:00

Note to self, change the horrible post title later.

"How did it come to this" is a question I've asked before. It was on my mind again this morning. Only this time, I was thinking "How do you enslave a free people?"

How DO you enslave a free people? A well armed free people, at that? I've already said that before they can take our guns, they're going to have to shut us up. Where do you think we are in that process?

I look around and I see parents being arrested for standing up against common core at the district "meetings" (read that "education camps"). I see kids being taken away from parents because they don't agree with a medical diagnosis...not to mention a slew of other doctors that think the diagnosis is wrong. I see the President's uncle got his amnesty, while a German family that was GRANTED asylum in the US so that they could keep homeschooling had that asylum later revoked by the White House. Hmmm...who's in the White House these days? Doesn't matter, I guess, this has been going on since long before Obama.

Got your insurance cancellation letter yet? Got your hours cut to 29.5/week yet? Ready to buy some "affordable" insurance on the ACA website? Look, just so we're clear, PRESIDENT OBAMA DIDN'T LIE about being able to keep your doctor. You can! You will just now have to buy one of the ACA plans (or pay the fine for not having insurance) AND pay cash for your doctor because they don't accept the ACA insurance crap, nor medicaid. Those evil doctors, going into HUNDRED of THOUSANDS of dollars in debt with these money mills...er, medical colleges, HOW DARE THEY want/need to get paid?
(side rant: Is the health care industry royally screwed up? YES. Is this the perfect opportunity for increasing government power? See previous answer)

Get in line. Toe the line. Don't fight. Don't even speak. NOW turn over your weapon, little lamb.

It's a beautiful day!

2013-11-15T11:21:00.002-07:00

I don't know why it is, but I started out downright chipper today, and it's only getting better. Fair warning, this post has no cohesiveness, general theme, or direction.

I'm going to open up to you the way I did with my (unfortunate?) co-workers, and share a little guilty pleasure of mine: 90's R&B

Since I'm in the sharing mood, here's an awesome anti-common core vid I just watched:
Common Core SMACKDOWN It's funny, I've got this Kenneth Parcell grin on my face as I write this: I'm very afraid for our local PTAs. In my own interaction with the PTA, I can see how easily information is handed down from National as gospel, with a fall-in-line attitude for the PTA boards...or else?

It's also a VERY gloomy day outside, winter is coming.

Why am I so happy?!?? Oh, maybe because I did my budget. That always cheers me up. #daveramsey

Oh yeah, another thing making me smile: the progressives are FALLING APART. Here's a funny post from Stilton: The Dictator Speaks (I apologize for the cartoon's language)
Now if only we could get our southern neighbors to kick McCain to the curb...or the landfill. Oh, who am I to judge, we can't seem to be rid of Matheson or Hatch!

That's it. Just some thoughts rolling around in my skull, and mostly happy ones.

Tuneception

2013-08-13T08:11:00.002-07:00

I could swear I've posted on this before...oh well, now it has a title better than Get a Song Stuck in Your Head game. I'm posting this here because the nerds that monitor Wikipedia are jerks, and won't let me create the page for this game. Well, they'll let me create it, but then Editor Snobby McSnobberson comes along and deletes it. YOUR LOSS. :P

Tuneception:
A game where points are distributed by relying on the honor system, somewhat related to The Game because it never ends and the points don't give you anything other than personal satisfaction. Oh, and I just lost The Game.

How it works:
The object of Tuneception is to get songs stuck in other people's heads, and thus scoring points when accomplished. Points are only awarded after a confession by the target, "Now that song is stuck in my head!", OR if they are caught repeating the chosen song in any form: whistling, humming, singing, etc, AFTER one minute has passed from the time when the initial trap was laid, or else they could be said to be just joining in with you.
The only exception to the time rule is The ONE Word rule, and this is where the honor system comes in: There is no minimum time constraint if the target starts singing the intended song after ONE word/note is sung/spoken. I say intended song, because if I laid the trap with "STOP" and I was thinking "Hammertime", but you immediately started singing "in the name of love," I couldn't claim those points with any honor.

Point System:
Points are distributed based on how the trap was laid. Spoken traps are generally worth more than Musical traps (sung, hummed, whistled), and the fewer the words/notes, the better. Here is the original point system:
Musical traps, five or more words/notes: 1 point
Musical traps, two-four words/notes: 5 points
Musical traps, ONE word/note: 10 points

Spoken traps, five or more words/notes: 5 points
Spoken traps, two-four words/notes: 10 points
Spoken traps, ONE word/note: 100 points

Let it be known that 1,000,000,000 points is worth about one Schrute-buck.

History:
Since I swear I posted this game on here before, but I couldn't find the rules anywhere, I can only say that the game pre-dates May 4, 2008 based on a comment left on that day on this post: http://jimcalkins.blogspot.com/2008/04/worst-sound-in-world.html

I have found no evidence of this game in this form elsewhere on the web, but am happy to yield creative credit to proven parties.

Schadenfreude

2013-07-18T11:16:00.000-07:00

I could swear I already had a post with this title, but oh well.

In the book of Alma we read: "Yea, well did Mosiah say, who was our last king, when he was about to deliver up the kingdom, having no one to confer it upon, causing that this people should be governed by their own voices—yea, well did he say that if the time should come that the voice of this people should choose iniquity, that is, if the time should come that this people should fall into transgression, they would be ripe for destruction."

And then again over in Helaman: "For as their laws and their governments were established by the voice of the people, and they who chose evil were more numerous than they who chose good, therefore they were ripening for destruction, for the laws had become corrupted.
Yea, and this was not all; they were a stiffnecked people, insomuch that they could not be governed by the law nor justice, save it were to their destruction."

Don't be confused by the tone of those two verses, this is a happy post! There's so much WIN going on this week with Obamacare falling apart, with Zimmerman suing NBC, I'm sure there's more out there. What's the glee for then?

It's a little out of context, but I like the sentiment when it comes to my God-given freedoms: "that great pit which hath been digged for the destruction of men shall be filled by those who digged it, unto their utter destruction"

More and more people are starting to scratch the surface with Obama, to see the man behind the curtain, and they're finding that not all that glitters is gold. I wish they would also turn off the mainstream media that's been lying to them on his behalf...baby steps.

Thank you android

2013-05-11T09:39:00.001-07:00

I'm sitting here on my flight back to SLC, and have been informed that blackberry users get free wifi today.
Thank you android, and Dolphin browser, for letting me change my user client signature to blackberry so I can catch up on my feeds. O:-)

So awesome, my head asploded

2013-05-01T08:48:00.001-07:00

Wait for it...

No, really, wait for it...don't get frightened off by the preview bikini.

Serenity 2, I wish!

Right now

2013-04-18T07:31:00.002-07:00

This is the point I am reaching right now:

On a related note: It's funny, my mom keeps asking if I've seen some of the new movies coming out, and it's always a laugh and a "never heard of it" from me. I'm done with paying Hollywood. Oh, Megaplex Theatres, take note: I'm absolutely done paying you, but for an extra 25 cents I can give you some choice words. I'm just about done with Netflix, too, though we'll probably keep it for the kids...

It's not a conspiracy. It's an overall moral degradation.

Clarity

2013-04-12T20:20:00.000-07:00

Well, I did it. Again. This time, I went the whole shebang: no facebook, and no G+. I miss this. Just putting my thoughts out there for history, not caring about comments or "friends". To clarify, yes, I adore your comments. I have some great friends that challenge my thinking, and I need that. I meant that I'm done fishing for comments. I'm done cyber-stalking. I'm done with the fake relationships that are ruining my real friendships. I'm not quite done with the mindless games, tyvm bombermine.com, but at least I'm down to one. I still have a lot to say, so don't think I'm completely gone. That isn't a promise that it'll end up on here though...

...ha ha, you know I love to hear myself speak...it'll be on here. :)

Lennon knew it

2011-10-24T07:25:00.000-07:00

I'm just getting this out there: as the commies reveal themselves in all the Occupy protests, and as the protests get more and more violent each day, will anyone else think to point out to the whiners they're no longer following _Imagine_, and no pays attention to them because of _Revolution_?

You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
You tell me that it's evolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
But when you talk about destruction
Don't you know that you can count me out?

You say you've got a real solution
Well, you know
We'd all love to see the plan
You ask me for a contribution
Well, you know
We are doing what we can
But if you want money for people with minds that hate
All I can tell is, brother, you'll have to wait

You say you'll change the constitution
Well, you know
We all want to change your head
You tell me it's the institution
Well, you know
You'd better free your mind instead
But if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao
You ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow

Emphasis added.

A sword

2011-09-15T13:52:00.000-07:00

I read this quote at one of my favorite blogs, The Steady Conservative:

"You cannot play with the animal in you without becoming wholly animal, play with falsehood without forfeiting your right to truth, play with cruelty without losing your sensitivity of mind. He who wants to keep his garden tidy doesn’t reserve a plot for weeds.” – Dag Hammarskjold

I was leading a Bible study on Joseph and the temptation he faced from Potiphar’s wife (Gen 39) and in preparing for it I found this quote in a book about Joseph by Charles Swindoll. It hit me as a pretty profound statement; especially that last line. It applies to any sin that we rationalize and justify into our lives. Politics and government are just another segment of our lives and the world we live in. God’s word is God’s word and sin is sin. When we try to rationalize why it is ok to allow abortion, to allow same sex marriages, to rule unfairly outside the rule of law…etc…we are straying from the example that was given to us with Joseph. We are playing with the animal inside us and then are left puzzled…wondering why our society is falling apart. While the answer is staring at us straight in the face."

While I wholly agree with Chris, and really want to highlight this quote and analysis without taking away, I'm still stuck with a dilemma. I believe in being subject to Kings, Presidents, Rulers, and Magistrates in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law. I also believe that the founders of this country built the foundation for the most free country this earth has ever seen, and the best chance we have to live peaceably with one another is pointed out in our Declaration of Independence:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed..."

I'll get to the junction of these two quotes in a minute, but first I want to point out that the quote (within a quote....quoteception?) from Dag, while universal in its principle, really only applies to a moral person or society of persons. Only one who is interested in bettering themselves, or in persuading others toward a train of thought, will really be affected by the strength of Dag's statement. I believe Chris correctly points out that we are currently reaping what we and others have sown, which can also be extrapolated to the seeds we are currently sowing. My/our dilemma stems from our own declaration of self government: my code of morals is entirely different than yours, even those of you who are of the same faith as me. How does freedom prevail, when every single voice in "the governed" is pulling for something different? How can I justify compromise in the law without "reserving a plot for weeds"?

The short answer is, "I can't." What really spurred this post today is a section of Mormon scripture: D&C Section 134, which talks about the Church's views on government. I've been pondering on this section for over a year now, trying to put all this together. I can't say that I will have done it satisfactorily by the end of this post, but if you read that section, you may get a better idea what I'm trying to explain here.

I understand that we need laws to help us all live somewhat peaceably, what I think people forget most is that the enumerated right only claims the pursuit of happiness, not the guarantee of it. We are all going to fight for what we think is the best way to do things, and we will all end up with varying degrees of disappointment - that much is guaranteed. I cannot and will not ever vote for something that I know to be wrong. Do I think it is wrong to "impose my beliefs" on people who disagree? Not anymore. I will never again be cowed into submission by all the big, scary words people use to shut others up. I'll be labeled a racist, bigoted, homophobic (help me out Keith Olbermann) religious zealot, and all the while I'll be thinking, "You say that like it's a bad thing!"

"Wow, Jim, that's quite a jump from D&C 134 to all the crap you just spewed out..." You may right, but I forgot to bring up one little thing: Matthew 10:34-39. I don't mean to be an ass about it, this is just my attempt at boldness. Can we smile and get along nicely when we disagree? Sure. Does that mean I'm going to be steamrolled in the interest of talking nicely to one another? .......no.

If you agree, I hope you find the strength to stand. You're gonna need it.

Episode IV

2011-08-03T20:21:00.000-07:00

Wow...even I haven't been back here for so long that even my browser forgot the address! I guess a little explanation is in order. Less than two weeks after my "poor me" moment, I landed a spectacular job with a small break-off company from Fetzer Architectural Woodwork, which is being called Rocky Mountain Preservation. I can only call this a blessing from on high; it's perfectly suited for my talents, and it has allowed us to begin looking for a house!

What really brought me back here to post today is that I have something to say to someone, but don't know how to say it to them personally. As I think about what I'm trying to say, it actually applies to more than a few people I know...so yes, this is about you. I do not want to say this, because I feel that I'm nowhere near where I should be as an example, and I don't want to prop myself up as if I truly understand. I'm compelled to say it, however, because of my love for you, and my desire for your success; and I don't know how else to help.

Here goes: in my early days of college, I ~~was forced to take~~ took a philosophy course. The only thing I remember from that course besides a couple Jeopardy answers was a small bit about Nirvana. This would be the Buddhist version, not the Seattle version. The Buddha described nirvana as the perfect peace of the state of mind that is free from craving, anger, and other afflicting states (straight out of Wikipedia there). My teacher tried to explain that the only way to achieve it is to give up all desires, even the very desire to achieve Nirvana.

Strangely, I can relate to this. We talk a lot in my/our church about bending ourselves to God's will, about not forcing our will upon Him. It's a funny thing to tell a man to pray and ask for blessings, and then to tell him that he shouldn't be asking to change God's will. I kind of have the opinion that me and God are buddies, in a Father-Son way, and that He will generally be looking out for me. If I'm going through a hard time, I know it's not because He's mad that I broke His favorite binoculars or something, I generally figure that I gots me some learnin to do.

Back to the Nirvana bit. I recalled that...recollection...during my insanely brief stint in unemployment, and for some reason or another, it helped me realize that I wasn't truly opening myself up to God's will. I remember the exact night I truly felt I meant it when I said "Thy will be done," and as I said in the beginning of this post, I can only count our current circumstances as a blessing from on high. There is no other explanation that I need.

I didn't reach Nirvana, and I know I'll have to learn this lesson again. But, for a brief moment there, I became as a little child, and listened to my Father.

Now to you, for whom this was written, I say that I don't have it figured out, but I hope this advice helps. Open yourself up, break down your walls - even if they've already been knocked down and steamrolled, take out the foundation. Allow Him build you back up, and I promise it will be better than you hoped for.

Trapped, or, The one where Jim's been laid off for three weeks.

2011-06-09T10:20:00.000-07:00

I don't want to write this post. I don't want to issue the guttural scream, to release the bile, loathing bitterness within. I don't want to think. I don't want to fill the void with stuff. I don't want to run away. So I won't.

Confessions of a whiner

2011-02-21T09:21:00.000-07:00

I hit a wall with my diet. I don't know the reasons for my slowed (read: currently non-existent) fat loss, but here are my hypotheses/postulations:

Too much diet soda. Tim said no more than 16 oz per day, as more than that can stimulate weight gain, and for anyone that really knows me, I have no self control in the soda department.
Not enough consistency with water intake. Well, when you're already drinking too much soda, how does one have room for water?
Not enough protein. I noticed a big difference in weight loss the day after Valentines when I know for sure that I ate a ton of protein. I'm fairly certain I've been doing fine in the legumes department, so I'm really leaning toward the protein here.
Not binging "properly." So, the binge day seems pretty straight forward, but for me it kinda just became a Dr Pepper free-for-all day...I'm not leaning heavily on this excuse, but it is out there.
Visceral fat vs. subcutaneous fat...does it matter in burning it? Ever notice a big fat guy with a belly that's just tight as a drum? How can that be? I read in the book that this is most likely from visceral fat: fat that sticks around your organs and pushes your abdomen outward. My hypothesis here is that I've burned off mostly subcutaneous fat (the shrinking waistline, neck and shoulder fat, back fat), but according to my Bod Pod scan, I've still got a good 55+ lbs of fat available to burn. My money is on visceral, though I don't know for certain if that kind of fat is harder to burn.
Not participating in PAGG. PAGG is a collection of...I'll call them "drugs" to keep the explanation short (because Tim says that anything you put in your body that isn't food is a "drug."), drugs that have fat-killing properties. Tim came up with this cocktail as an alternative to a favorite in the body building world which leaves your body a wreck (no, besides the steroids...). There's three reasons I didn't participate in PAGG from the start:

I have A.D.D. and didn't get that far in the book before I started the experiment
Once I did get there, I had already lost 15 lbs, so I thought I don't need it
I didn't want to spend money on the ingredients

Well, I've now thoroughly covered that chapter, as well as re-read the other weight loss chapters, and I figure it's okay if I go ahead with this experiment using PAGG now.

Moving forward, I'm making the following adjustments, and will still be keeping track on my spreadsheet (alert, this means more underwear pics are coming in March):

PAGG - I'm taking the plunge.
I'm switching out breakfast for a protein shake (merely for cost-effectiveness)
I'm re-committing to only water during the week, and not dedicating my binge day to the Dr Pepper gods, merely inviting them to the party.
Back to basics: Tres has been great in providing me with a bunch of variety so I don't get bored, but really all I want are the basics: Protein, Legumes, Vegetables. This diet wasn't meant to be fun, it's meant to be effective. I'm not looking for punishment, I just want to easily rule out problematics.

It's discouraging getting stuck like this, and I'm trying to be honest with myself because I absolutely hate relying on drugs for anything. Those of you who are shouting at the computer that I haven't incorporated exercise into the equation need to chillax...I'll get there. It's just not my goal right now.

On that note, I've decided to not participate in the 5K-50K experiment at this juncture. I'll be using the methods in the book to build up a good 10K base, but I don't think I can spare the brain power to commit just now. At least it should add to my weight loss, right?

You Jelly?

2011-02-07T16:19:00.000-07:00

Ho. Lee. CRAP!

I came home early to mess around with some work stuff on my Lappy486; much to my surprise, there was a mysterious package waiting for me...

Since I had some trouble recently in ordering our Rock Band 3 drums online...I thought I might have gotten screwed once again.

My pre-loaded bitterness was quickly turned to shouts of laughter as I opened up the box to reveal this:

This, my friends.......

...is a brand new Cr-48 notebook computer, free of charge, from Google!!! BWA HA HA HA HA!!!

To help you turn just the right shade of green, here are a few more pics from un-packing:

Even the packaging seemed to join in with my joyous exclamations:

It's pretty flippin sweet, I must say. Quite a simple design, and all cloud-based computing. All that gloating aside, I'm pretty much speechless right now, so I'll leave you to your jealousy. :P

Shield your eyes!

2011-02-05T10:02:00.000-07:00

As promised, here are the results from my 4 Hour Body 4-week experiment:
Total Inches Lost: 11.5
Total Lbs Lost: 14.9
Total Fat % Change: ...depends. On my cheapy little BEI scale, I lost over 3% of my fat...but then I went and got an accurate test, which put me at 30.4% body fat, but since I didn't have an accurate starting measurement, who knows? But, now I have something to measure against as I begin including exercise as part of my fat-loss goals.

If you've been following along with my spreadsheet, you'll notice the downward trend in my fat loss. I'm not sure why that is, but, and I'm hypothesizing here, I think I just didn't gorge enough on my binge days...I really don't know, but that first binge day made me completely sick, and so I skimped in comparison on the second one, so I think my body down-shifted my metabolism rate. Last week, I really went "whole hog," and I stayed level at fat loss, so we'll see what the next weigh-in brings.

Also as ~~threatened~~ promised, here are the before and after pics. I've noticed a big change in my jaw line; this probably makes me the happiest, aside from going down two notches on my belt.

I'm still not happy about that spare tire going around my back there...the belly I can psychologically handle...but the back fat is just gross.

So, what's next for Jim? Well, one of the blurbs from the book that caught my eye was in the ultra-endurance section: "5K to 50K in 12 Weeks"

Am I just that crazy? I'll let you know.

Calling all fatties

2011-01-04T14:09:00.001-07:00

I bought this book as a Christmas present for myself. I'm the heaviest I've ever been (which I've been saying each month for the past two years), with around a 20% fat ratio. Though I'm not in too bad of shape, I know I'm in a destructive pattern and want to change it so I come down from this peak. I'm starting the slow-carb diet next week, but I'd really like to have a buddy to do this with. You can get the book for less than $15 on Amazon (or B&N), and you can't borrow mine because I'm not done. :P (btw, the slow-carb diet means I plan to lose 20+ lbs in the following 4 weeks without exercise, and without starving - in fact, I'm forced to have a binge day!)

If you're interested in being partners/friendly competitors, shoot me an email or give me a call. I can help get you started with a diet, but it'd be better if you got your own copy of the book. I also have a public Google Spreadsheet of my metrics: Jim's 4HB Metrics, and on February 7, I'll post my before and after pics (yes, now is your chance to see me in my underwear!).

Whether or not I'm down to around my final goal (not my 4-week goal) of 12% fat on Feb 7, I'll move on to other "experiments" and jump in to the running chapters. After all, I've got the Red Rock Relay coming up now, so I'd better get in shape!

1/10 update: I bought a scale that measures fat based on bio-electrical impedance, which put me up around 30%. See the Metrics link in this post for details.

Raindrops on roses

2010-12-15T10:28:00.000-07:00

Going on 6 months without Facebook now, and although my Buzz posting has increased, mostly because of being linked to Reader, I still think I'm well below the level of narcissism that I used to have while ~~judging everyone~~ writing on my blog and updating my status on FB (yes, hypocrisy is closely related to delusion). There are times, however, when I do have the urge to allow my inner voice out and see if anyone else is as slightly evil as I am. This is just one of those times.

One of my absolute favorite things about winter is not cleaning all the snow off my car, only the windows. The reasons for this are three-fold:
1. On mornings when over a foot of snow has fallen, I feel this strong desire to see if I can make it to work without any of the snow blowing off. It's kind of like having a Kid 'N Play haircut for my car. Yes, I'm juvenile, get over it.

2. If some of the snow does get blown off, it tends to make some pretty cool designs. Yes, I'm easy to please. I'm one of those people that can sit there and stare at the night sky for hours, but at least I'm not so far deranged as to cry over a DOUBLE RAINBOW!!!

3. Mostly, though, I'm hoping that the snow does blow off, in large chunks, and hits the cars behind me. I guess it's not that evil because I like it when it happens to me, but it can be dangerous, so it automatically is put in the evil category. And here is the lamest multi-media portion of our program today: this video. Seriously? No one's got a good video of this happening in the manner described above? Internet, you failed me for not the last time today.

I have a feeling that I'm not alone in this.

Why I'm voting for Palin

2010-12-03T09:41:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know she hasn't announced it yet. I also know no one is actually reading this because once they finished reading the title, their media-induced Pavlovian response either told them to shut their eyes while it plays some hilarious Colbert Report segment or Tina Fey impersonation, or they just glazed over and thought to themselves "well, I knew Jim was a retarded hick/Glenn Beck sycophant, I just didn't think it was that bad," and moved on. (If you are still reading this, you are a true friend, and I wasn't making fun of you, I was making fun of my "other" friends, I mean, uh...Californians)

Quite simply, she's the only national politician/candidate I see that's fighting both of these out of control parties.

Here we are, barely a month after the election, and the Republicans still don't get it. We don't want someone to go and play nice in the sandbox with the bullies, we want attack dogs to get in and clear the place out! Now that we actually can block legislation, instead of only being accused of it by the Democrat super-majority, we damn well better! These first two years are critical for the life of the Republican party, because if they don't pull their heads out, they're on track to follow the Whigs, and you will see the Tea Party replace it.

If there's one thing above all else that I hope I can get across to people, it's that the squeaky wheel gets the grease, and conservatives cannot afford to be silent anymore - about anything. None of the other "front-runners" have shown that they're willing to do this. Romney, Paul, Huckabee, and especially Gingrich are all too willing to volunteer for the short end of the stick.

The only other "national" politician that I would consider right now would have to be Chris Christie, because I think Palin might pull her punches a bit. Other than that, we'll have to see what pops up these next two years.

Hopefully not breaking the 1st commandment

2010-10-27T18:59:00.000-07:00

In case you weren't aware, I've turned into somewhat of Reagan worshiper. I've been asked whom in history I would most like to meet, and it turns out that it's a president from my own lifetime. This is from 46 years ago, though it could just as easily be said today.

Expect Miracles

2010-09-02T12:54:00.000-07:00

I've said recently in an open letter to a few friends and loved ones that something is coming, but I didn't know what. I think Glenn does a nice job of showing what's coming in this clip, though we end up back where we started with not knowing what comes after that.

One thing I think Glenn has not strictly spelled out to people as he's exhorted us to turn to God (especially so in the clip I hope you just watched) is how God will do it. How will God save us from ourselves? The distinction, I think, lies in the teaching of Jesus: "No man can serve two masters."

Do you love God? It's not enough to think or to know He exists. Do you love Him? Do you know what it even means to love God? There are many definitions you're probably thinking of, but the one I think is most applicable to what I'm trying to get across, applicable to perhaps what Glenn means in turning to God, is demonstrated in Jesus's question and the instruction that followed to Simon Peter, "Lovest thou me?" and "Feed my sheep."

As Mormons, we look at that as an instruction to preach the Gospel throughout the world, and I can look you in the eye if you want and testify that I felt the same overpowering love of God that Lehi felt in tasting the fruit of the Tree of Life when I was trying to "feed His sheep" during my mission to Russia. I can guarantee that I only got a taste of that because I was devoted to feeding His sheep in this manner.

As children of God from different faiths, we can probably agree to also look at that instruction in the physical sense, e.g. a command to take care of one another. If I can insert some words into Glenn's mouth for a second from the video above, one of the reasons the instability is so scary is that it's hard to take care of one another if we can't take care of ourselves. I think the principle behind Glenn's exhortation of turning to God is that we've only been taking care of ourselves, and have neglected to "feed His sheep" both spiritually and physically.

No man can serve two masters. I'm certain that I'm more guilty of this than anyone who actually reads this blog, so please don't think I'm on my high horse today; I save the medium-high horse for such occasions. If it is your concern to store up treasures on Earth, to be compelled to get all the trophies in Mario Kart, to have the most comments on your blog, to have the perfectly decorated house, to lust after another, to have the nice sports car so you can drive two blocks to work, et cetera ad nauseum, then get ready for the collapse and destruction.

Conversely, if it is your concern to be concerned for the souls and welfare of men, the tempatations, indulgences, and distractions that ultimately lead to the collapse that we face as a nation right now will have no power over you. Don't compare yourself to Mother Teresa, you're not her. You can become like her, you can become like Jesus...eventually. :-) What Glenn and I are saying is that you have got to choose now. Now we are at the precipice. Now we are at the point of no return. If you and I don't change ourselves now, we will not get the chance later, it will be given to our children's children. How do you change? Only God knows. Why don't you go ask Him?

Where's Elijah?

2010-07-23T12:15:00.000-07:00

I had a realization this past Monday as we had FHE with the girls. We have a picture book of events from the scriptures, and Jac picked out the one of Elijah laying the smack-down on the prophets of Baal. I don't think it was meant to be funny, but it makes me laugh how much Elijah mocks them.

As a believer, I look at everything in the light that the gospel has given me. It's sometimes hard for me to argue about the direction our country is headed with people who aren't of my faith because we don't have that common ground, common direction, built up already.

This may be the underlying reason that I enjoy the story above, because it wasn't two (groups of) people agreeing to disagree, civil or not. It was a point of fact: my God wins. Always. So, sorry to disappoint any Jewish readers that may have stumbled here on a stray Google result, but I'm looking for a metaphorical Elijah, not the real one. I somehow get the feeling that we will soon enter a great period of miracles, led by men who will stand unyielding as Elijah once did, who will, in one way or another, call down fire from Heaven and show the true power and will of God.

"What's that? You won't let our kids pray in school? Need to be 'fair' to the other kids? BAM!" No more arguing. :-P