Vent....

You've Got Mail

2012-01-30T00:01:00.017-05:00

True confession: I’m a sucker for romance.

I cry at a wedding even if I barely know the bride and groom.

The minute the clergyman says, “I now pronounce you husband and wife”, I have to whip out a box of Kleenex.

Perhaps it’s because I’m an emotional Italian, but anything that has to do with lovey-dovey shit, I adore.

Such as romantic movies.

Meaning: chick flicks.

However, it always boggles me WHY these type movies are referred to as chick flicks, as if all guys don’t enjoy romantic movies, and all girls do. As a matter of fact, I know of several ladies who truly can’t stand chick flicks. They actually prefer guy flicks, which have been labeled under the genre of Smash em’ up, Crash em’ up.

Personally, those type movies are not my cup of tea, but hey, that’s why there’s M&M's plain and peanut. We all have different tastes.

I do enjoy a good action or suspense thriller, but not ones laced with tons of graphic violence because I see enough of that living in a city.

Last week, while perusing one of my favorite stores, FYE, I purchased a previously viewed DVD of You’ve Got Mail, for only $5.99.

I remember first seeing this film many years ago and being utterly charmed.

I’m a HUGE Tom Hanks fan, as well as a HUGE Meg Ryan fan. And I’m also a HUGE Nora Ephron fan because she’s a genius at romantic comedy. She flavors her movies with good old-fashioned romance of times gone by, and then sets it in present day.

Nora is very wise in casting Tom and Meg in movies together because they have an AMAZING onscreen chemistry. When you see them together in a film, you can feel that their characters belong with each other.

You’ve Got Mail is a funny, touching, and an adorably romantic story about the start of online chat rooms, when everyone who had a computer at the time was tempted to try it.

Basically, it’s a story of two people who meet in a chat room and fall in love, yet offline (not knowing that they are the one’s chatting ) CAN’T STAND one another.

Through a series of events, they eventually discover that they are the two people who have been secretly communicating with each other, and end up coming together in the finale.

Honestly, the ending scene of this film ALWAYS turns on my waterworks, as we see the power of love finding its way even through the Internet.

Viewing this film again got me thinking about how many people still believe that online relationships (whether romantic or just friendships) are not possible.

Now back when this movie came out I didn’t even own a computer, so the idea of meeting people via the Internet seemed ridiculous to me too.

However, over these past 7 years, I now realize that forming relationships IS possible.

And I think one of the reasons is that online connections (especially when it comes to blogging) are a very cool way of gradually getting to know someone because people are more apt to share deeper things about themselves on screen, than they would off screen.

Also, I think the energetic power of the written word exposes more of ourselves than we think it can. Words often express the heart of someone.

I know for me, I get a very clear feel for someone just from reading their blog.

Through blogging, I’ve met some really awesome people (like you guys), who I consider real life friends, not just people I socialize with online. Truthfully, I actually think of you guys throughout my day; wondering how you are.

But that’s not to say we can’t occasionally meet assholes online too, because we can.

Yet, that’s not the Internet’s fault because I’ve met plenty of assholes offline too.

You can find an asshole anywhere.

So, I guess the point of this post is to say I do believe that deep connections CAN be made online.

And the schmaltzy romantic in me also believes in the possibility….of a LOVE connection.

*Please take a few minutes to view the video on my sidebar of the final scene from this movie. You won’t regret it.

On Being A Generous Receiver

2012-01-27T00:01:00.006-05:00

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
--Winston Churchill

Earlier this week, one of my longtime fellow-Libra friends, Mel, over at Mels Dream, shared something that inspired me to write this post. In fact, she’s always sharing delightful tidbits of inspiration on her blog that causes me to reflect.

So grazie mille, dear lady…..x

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Mel shared a very thought-provoking post on giving.

However, it was this last sentence that really struck a chord within.

“In our generosity, we also learn to receive others' gifts to us with humility and respect.”

And the reason it hit home for me was because I’ve always felt comfortable in giving, but not so much when it came to receiving.

Yet, I’ve since discovered that it’s equally important to be a generous receiver, as it is a generous giver.

Mel’s post reminded me of a time in my life when I went through financial bankruptcy and was supported by family and friends, who reached out and helped me tremendously. In fact, if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t have made it.

But I’ve got to tell you, it wasn’t easy to accept their generosity.

One, I was too ashamed. And two, I somehow felt that it was wrong to accept their giving.

You see, I grew up in a generation where we were instilled that it’s always better to give than receive.

And why? Well, because it was selfish to take.

But what I’ve learned is that it’s selfish not to take.

If you really think about it, receiving is actually giving because you’re giving the giver the opportunity to pay forward a kind gesture that may have at one time been given to them.

To me, giving and receiving are a Universal balance.

If someone is always giving and not receiving, then the balance becomes imbalanced.

However, giving and receiving is not about keeping tabs, no. What I mean by balance is that if the time ever comes when you feel a calling to help someone, or give them a gift, or even support them with something as simple as a kind word in an email or a phone call, then by all means do.

But at the same time, we must graciously allow others to give to us in return.

And then say, “Thank you.” And openly receive it.

It’s a Universal balance.

Kinda like a circle......

Wishing you a beautiful weekend everyone!

Surprise.....Surprise!

2012-01-23T00:01:00.020-05:00

If any of you have ever thought me a lunatic before, just wait until your read THIS post.

I’ve officially gone to the edge of sanity, and jumped deep into the abyss of INsanity.

I truly wish you could have been me last weekend, when I received a package in the mail from one of my dear blogging friends, and felt the joy and jubilation of having a dream come true.

And not only joy and jubilation, but also immense gratitude.

Peg, over at Square Peg In A Round Hole, sent me something very special.

SO special in fact, that I had to share it with you all.

Before I proceed, allow me to say THANK YOU, PEG!

Thank you from the bottom of my ever-lovin’ heart.

YOU. ARE. THE. BOMB!!!!!!!!

Anyhoo……

If you’ve been reading this crazy blog for the past 4 ½ years, you’ve undoubtedly heard (SEVERAL TIMES) of my wish to have my very own Barbie doll.

Well.

(and please don’t scream like I did)

THIS is what Peg sent me….

Could you just DIE????? My very own BARBIE DOLL!!! Isn't she stunning?

And do you notice her necklace? Well, if you scroll down to the next photo, you’ll find that she came with a matching necklace for ME.

I think I’ll wear this to the next Academy Award ceremony I attend. Eat your heart out Cartier!

And don’t you just love her little shoes? I think they’re Jimmy Coo’s.

I just HAD to pose her by my window, so you could see how glamorous she looks in front of a city backdrop.

And another. (she looks like she's getting ready to do a back flip out the window)

Peg also made these adorable matching bracelets, which are inscribed with my faux drag queen name, Miss Ronda. One for me, one for Barbie.

Well folks, there you have it….I FINALLY got my Barbie doll, thanks to Peg!

Allow me to conclude this post by sharing a short LUNATIC video in which Barbie and I made together. Enjoy!

Oh Da' Onion

2012-01-20T00:01:00.013-05:00

As much as I’m in the minority of loving winter over summer because I much prefer being cold than hot, I know that I’m equally in the minority when it comes to my dislike of ONIONS.

Well…allow me to be a bit clearer on that.

It’s not really onions I dislike because I don’t mind their flavor in my food, it’s more so about the way they SMELL.

Especially raw onions.

Whenever I smell onions, I look around with my nose all pinched together and think to myself, “I wonder who’s got the smelly armpits?”

And then I quickly sniff my own….just to make sure it’s not ME.

Have you ever noticed how if you touch an onion with your hands, the smell stays on your fingertips for about the next TEN years????

And please don’t suggest I try rubbing a lemon on my hands because I’ve already attempted that and it doesn't work. In fact, I’ve rubbed a whole lemon TREE on my hands, yet all I got were fingertips that smelled like lemon scented ONIONS.

This is why whenever I go out for lunch and order a sandwich at my favorite deli, I will always remind them to NOT put onions ON or anywhere NEAR my sandwich because I don’t want their smell on me when I go back to work. There’s nothing worse than having a cosmetic sales associate do a moisturizer demonstration on a customer’s face, while their hands and breath smell like armpit manure.

Anyway, the whole reason for this post today is to share a story that happened to me earlier this week, concerning my dreadful disdain for the scent of onions.

Monday night, I purchase a premade Greek salad from Super Fresh to pair with a nice hot bowl of chicken noodle soup. While still in the store, I examined the contents thorough the plastic container, just to see how many onion slices they put on top. There appeared to be a minimal, so I purchased it.

HOWEVER, much to my surprise....

After I got home and took the lid off and began scooping out the onions with a fork, I quickly discovered just how MANY onion slices were cleverly hidden underneath the lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, olives, and feta cheese.

HA! Those sneaky little bastards.

The entire salad was swimming in an undertow of onions!

And the most frustrating part about it was that the onions kept getting stuck on the end of the fork, so I had use my fingers to remove them. At one point, I got so mad that I began FLINGING the onions off the fork into the trash can, only to have them go SAILING through the air; landing all over my kitchenette floor and walls.

My entire apartment began to smell like an onion field.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard such ear-melting profanity come out of my mouth as it did that night.

My two favorite words were MOTHER and FUCKER.

Anyway, after finally peeling the onions off the four walls of my studio apartment and then squirting them down with a bottle of Febreze, I wrapped the onion slices in FOUR plastic bags and then shoved the bag way at the bottom of the trash can, so that I didn’t have to smell them anymore…YET….hours later, when I opened the trash can to throw something out, I got hit in the nose with a boxing glove of ONION.

So, do you know what I did?

I grabbed that plastic bag of onions and then took the elevator down to the basement level of my apartment building, whereupon I DITCHED those suckers into the dumpster.

GOOD. RIDDANCE.

However, later that night after I went to sleep, I had a HORRIBLE nightmare.

A nightmare in which I was forced to take a job as sales representative for a new perfume on the market….

Have a GLORIOUS weekend everyone!

Interview With Frankie: An Inspiring Soul

2012-01-16T00:01:00.012-05:00

Today, I would like to share a very special interview with someone who I am honored to know.

Frankie LaMacchia.

For those of you who may have not read my initial post about this inspiring gentleman, you can find it here.

Last month, I had the immense pleasure of meeting Frankie in person, when we got better acquainted over a cup of coffee. During our one-hour chat, I asked Frankie if he would be willing to share his story via an interview on my blog, and he agreed.

As I’ve shared with you before, being in Frankie’s presence is like being surrounded by beacon of positive energy. You can’t help but feel that all is well in the world and that whatever challenges we encounter in our lives, we have the power to turn them around; transforming them into a learning experience.

*an excerpt from Frankie’s bio

“My name is Frankie LaMacchia. On December 6th 1998, I was faced with
the biggest challenge of my life. I was in a motorcycle accident that left me
paralyzed from just below the chest down. Of course in the beginning it
was extremely difficult but I had overwhelming support from my great
family and friends. I really didn’t have a chance to be depressed. I kept
saying to myself that somehow, some way I was going to get through this.
Here I am 12 years later exactly where I am supposed to be in life.”

Welcome Frankie! Thank you so much for agreeing to share this interview because my readers were extremely anxious to meet you.

*What were your immediate thoughts when you were told of your paralysis?

My immediate thoughts were that this wasn’t happening. Like I was in a dream. A dream that I couldn’t wake myself up from. I sustained so many injuries that it was really hard to comprehend what I was being told. After having 5 surgeries, a hematoma and blurred vision, it was like I had no control over my mind and body. The room was full of doctors, nurses, family and friends. I literally had no idea what was going on. The doctor comes walking in with a pin and starts to pinch me. He starts at the bottom of my feet and works his way up. He’s asking “can you feel this” “how about this”? Until finally, around my stomach area, I began to feel. Then he turns to me and tells me that due to my accident, I had sustained a spinal cord injury at the T-5 level which was from just below the chest down. He said that the chances of me walking again were unlikely and that I would be confined to a wheelchair. I was in complete shock. It’s like the life was sucked right out of me. I went completely numb. I started to tear up. It was the most devastating information an individual can receive. It’s like all that I thought life was about, totally changed in a blink of an eye. I wept for some time with my family. After all my family and friends telling me that I was going to beat this, I got this overwhelming strength and confidence that I was going to beat this. After the 3rd or 4th doctor came in, I was like, “yeah doc… I know… I’m not going to walk again. In my head I was saying, they don’t know me very well. I was going to get through this.

*Did you ever go through a period of anger or self-pity?

I honestly never felt any anger or pity. Believe me, it was extremely difficult to learn that your life was about to completely change. There were some long nights that I would lay there and cry and think that this can’t be happening. There were only a few and they didn’t last long. I had overwhelming support from my family and friends. I had the help of God and this inner voice that would always assure me that things were going to be ok.

*Please share about the support and love you receive from your family and friends.

I received overwhelming support from my family and friends. The ED was always full with family and friends. It got to a point where the staff was asking if people would come back later. It didn’t stop there. Months after my accident, I always had a full house with people stopping by to express their love and support. It was absolutely amazing. I was so blessed to receive the love and support that I did. It was such abundance that I didn’t have a chance to feel down or pity for myself. I always had someone there telling me that if anyone can get through this, it was me. There was a day that I saw my mother crying. I said to her, what’s wrong?? She said that she always knew that I was a good kid and that people loved me but she had no idea that there were so many. That might’ve been my proudest moment at that time.

*How challenging was it to adjust to your wheel chair?

Getting use to the wheelchair was extremely challenging. It’s not just a matter of sitting in a wheelchair and wheeling around. It’s actually learning how to sit up and gaining your balance. It’s having to learn your center of gravity again. It’s being able to wheel without losing your balance and falling out of the chair. It took some time but I eventually was able to get around well. The other challenges were the accessibility issues. Something we all take advantage of. Now it’s not just a matter of getting around but am I able to… Is this place wheelchair accessible? Are there stairs to get in? Is it wide enough for me to get by? Are the bathrooms accessible? Are there curb cuts? How will I get in? How do I get on the beach? Things I never had to ask myself. Ultimately, you learn what your limitations are and just have to plan ahead.

*Is there anyone you admire, who keeps you inspired to stay so positive?

I am inspired and reminded by people every day. From the days shortly after my accident, I remember sitting in a room talking to a patient who couldn’t taste his food. I remember seeing a patient in a hospital bed that couldn’t move from the neck down and was being feed by a nurse. It was at that moment when I felt blessed and inspired. It took the expression, knowing that it can always be worse to a whole other level. It’s the people with disabilities that have it worse than me. They are my inspiration.

*What has most changed about you from before and after your accident?

I like this question. I get asked it all the time. My answer remains the same. “What you see is what you get…” Outside of the physical aspects that changed my life, I am the same person. This disability has not stopped me from being the person I want to be or the person I choose to be. I am exactly where I am supposed to be in life. So whether that’s walking or wheeling through life, I am where I am supposed to be.

*If you could share the biggest thing you’ve learned from this experience, what would it be?

One of the biggest things that I learned throughout this whole experience is that there are really good people in this world. People are always going out of their way to help and accommodate me. Whether it’s holding the door for me, asking if I need help breaking down my chair as I’m getting in my car or simply asking if I need help with grocery shopping. People are always willing to help. With all the bad things and negativity you hear about, it’s hard to see it sometimes.

*In conclusion, is there anything you would like to share with my readers?

All I can say is that I look at what happened to me as a blessing. I never once questioned why it happened. Sometimes you must go on and not ask why. You have to be thankful for everything you get. Never look at what you can’t do. Be grateful for what you can do. Always have a positive attitude. Love and respect the people around you. Treat everyone the way you would like to be treated. Live each day like it was your last. For you never know what the future holds.

Thank you so much for sharing this interview, Frankie. It has been an absolute honor to have you on my blog. You da' man!

Note: Please feel free to comment to Frankie directly and openly, as he will be delighted to respond to each of you.

Frankie’s links:

*Facebook
*Videos
*Fitness Blog
*Philly’s Most Sexy Singles

Weight, Age, And Society

2012-01-13T00:01:00.022-05:00

Alert: No humor today, just a very passionate VENT.

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Perhaps it’s because when I was a kid, I was always told I was too skinny and needed to gain weight that I feel a bit verbose when it comes to society judging those who are heavy because they automatically assume weight gain is always about how much FOOD someone puts in their mouth, or that someone is not exercising enough.

Excuse me, but has it ever occurred to society that some people are heavy due to possible glandular imbalances, psychological challenges, or that it’s the result of genetics?

For instance, I could eat and drink anything I wanted (and as much as I wanted), yet it still wouldn’t affect my weight.

Why? Because of my high metabolism. It’s been that way my whole life.

And even being a lightweight person, I have never looked upon heavier people as unattractive. Never.

In my opinion, many people look great with more meat on their bones. It naturally suits them.

And what really pisses me off about weight judgment is that it’s much more strictly enforced upon women.

And it’s the same when it comes to aging.

Women are much more highly criticized when it comes to weight and age.

And trust me on that because I was a professional actor for many years, and a licensed cosmetologist. Therefore, I KNOW what women go through.

Just look at all the actresses versus actors whose careers are cut short because they got to an age where Hollywood said, “You’re too old.”

And also, look at how many of these actresses are having cosmetic surgery; trying desperately to compete with younger actresses.

Tell me, why is it that men age gracefully, yet women are sent out to pasture when they reach 40?

To my eyes, women age just as gracefully as men do.

Example: actress, Helen Mirren.

What an attractive, confident, and sexy lady she is. And she’s certainly not young, wrinkle-free, nor model thin. She’s one of those rare and fortunate women in the movie industry that has been able to keep working as she ripens.

Allow me to say that I do take care of myself when it comes to my skin, and try not to go overboard with excessive food. However, I don’t do this with the intention of looking like I did when I was 25 years old. I do this because I want to feel and look good for the exact age I am….56.

There is only so much a person can do (outside of surgery) that will assist in helping them look good as they age. The rest is up to genes and lifestyle.

If someone wants to lose weight because of health issues, I can certainly understand their intention. Yet, to lose weight because someone feels that society will accept them more, or that they’ll be happier because they’re thin is sad to me.

Last week, I was strolling through Barnes & Noble and came across these books. And can I just tell you how much they ANNOYED me because it only goes to show how society brainwashes women into feeling comparative to other women. And what totally FLOORS me about these books is that they’re written by other women.

*Please notice the TITLES…..

Well, I guess if women are not YOUNG or THIN, then they better read these books, hu?

No, these books are utter RUBBISH.

These books send out subliminal messages; reinforcing women that there’s something WRONG with them because they’re not young and thin.

I’m certainly not qualified as a psychologist to be handing out advice to other people, but I do have a strong opinion when it comes to self-image.

My opinion is to STOP reading books like these (which only make you feel less about yourself), and start reading books that teach you how to first ACCEPT yourself for who you are.

And STOP reading glamour magazines with photos of supermodels in them because they’re not REAL. And besides, what makes you think their lives are any happier than yours?

To reiterate, if someone is trying to lose weight for health issues, I totally understand and applaude them. However, if someone is trying to lose weight because they assume they’ll be more attractive to society’s ludicrous standards, then I say….

….look into a mirror, long and gently, and begin seeing YOU.

And I bet, in time, you’ll begin to see just how unique and faaaaaaaaabulous you are.

And then, if you should decide to lose weight….it’ll be for the right reason.

Your well-being.

Remember….you may not be able to alter the way society views YOU. But you can certainly alter the way you view YOURSELF.

Have a spectacular weekend everyone!

Evidence Of A Closeted Drag Queen

2012-01-09T00:01:00.007-05:00

See, this is what happens to a person when they have a month off from work and their days are free to do whatever the hell they want.

They do CRAZY things.

Like lip sync to Gloria Gaynor’s, “I Will Survive.”

Admit it, you’ve ALL had moments where you grabbed your hair brush or a wooden spoon to use as a microphone, while lip syncing to one of your favorite vocal artists, haven’t you?

And PLEAST don’t lie because I’m psychic, therefore I can tell if you’re fibbing.

I don’t know whether it’s because I’ve attended over 700,000 drag shows back in the 80’s, but I will occasionally feel the need to stifle my testosterone and allow my estrogen to come out to play. I enjoy twirling around, flicking my hands, and sashaying about like one of the contestants on RuPaul’s Drag Race.

It’s such an EXHILARATING experience. You really should try it sometime.

But make sure you’re alone. And that all the blinds are closed.

Now I’m probably going to regret sharing this on the Internet because one day I’m going to apply for a job, and when they do a Google search for Ron Carnavil this video will pop up, and I’ll be called back for my second interview where they’ll pull me into a private office and point to a computer monitor and say,… “IS THIS REALLY YOU?”

Either that, or they simply won’t call me back for a second interview, but instead will take a big rubber stamp to my resume that says….REJECT.SCARY MAN.

Oh, who cares….you only live once, right?

And at least whenever I look back on my life, I can always say I have FUN.

EMBARRASING fun.

Please enjoy this crazy ditty which I created last week with my laptop webcam, along with Windows Movie Maker.

DISCLAIMER: I swear to god this video was not alcohol or narcotic induced - this is how I act NORMAL.

*if you have trouble viewing this video, please go here.

Looking Up

2012-01-06T00:01:00.017-05:00

One of the things that sometimes happens when living in a city year after year, is that you forget to look up.

It’s so easy to get involved with the hustle and bustle of city life down below; forgetting to notice the beauty that’s above you.

With pedestrians busy walking while talking on their cell phones or text messaging, and not paying attention to what’s in front of them - often CRASHING into you - looking up seems to be the last thing on most urbanites minds.

I, however, am thoroughly enthralled with the view above city life. I love looking UP. And I must look like a tourist who’s never been to a city before because I’ll point and vocally say out loud, “Oooo….ahhh….look at that!”

City life, no matter how long I live it, still excites me because it forces you to get out there and MINGLE with people. I enjoy quiet time alone, but there’s a part of me that equally enjoys interaction time with other people.

Also, I’m a very visual person, and city life always gives me something unusual to look at and observe.

And photograph.

I love seeing all the various architectural angles and textures of the buildings, as they appear to be a work of art sketched across a canvas sky.

I’ve lived in both Philadelphia and Manhattan.

Philadelphia is a much smaller city compared to Manhattan, therefore there’s more ‘open space’ above you.

Manhattan feels as though you’re walking through a dense jungle of HUGE urban gorilla buildings.

Whereas, Philadelphia is much more spread out; not as tight. More like a European city.

For me, BOTH cities are architecturally beautiful and enjoyable, but with two completely different feels.

Earlier this week, I took my camera into the city streets and snapped several images of what was ABOVE me.

And since I adore viewing urban life in black and white, I changed my camera setting to fit my vision.

Please enjoy…..

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

*And don't forget to look up. You might just spot something REALLY cool!

Some Girls Like Super Heroes. Some Boys Like Princesses.

2012-01-02T00:01:00.012-05:00

Last week, one of my blogging buddies, Jaffer at ManiaRavings, sent me an email with the most PRECIOUS You Tube video, entitled, Riley On Marketing.

“Ron,

I don't know if you have come across this video ... it's spreading wild today on Social Networks.

It's this little girl ranting about choices of toys for boys and toys for girls.

I immediately thought of you as you had written before many times... how you always wanted a Barbie.

I'm in love with this little girl!"

THANK YOU SO MUCH, JAFFER!
________________________

As most of my longtime blogging friends know, I ADORE children.

I adore them because they say what they feel without censoring.

They often see things, that we as adults have allowed the world to blind us into viewing through a cloudy lens.

Children view the world through fresh eyes; knowing what’s true and what’s false.

Their hearts are pure. Their minds are clear. Their vision 20/20.

Children have a way of bringing us back to what’s REAL, because they possess the uncanny ability to automatically see the BULLSHIT.

Being around children is probably one of the most amazing blessings we could have, because they give us the gift of SIGHT.

You see…

Some girls like blue stuff. Some boys like pink stuff.

Some girls like super heroes. Some boys like princesses.

And some like a little of both.

We’re all different.

And that’s something to enjoy.

After watching this video at least TEN times and laughing my ass off, I’ve come to the conclusion that Riley needs to be our first lady president. Because if elected, she’ll whip the consciousness of this country into shape in no time.

You ROCK, Riley!

Go, girl!

Please enjoy this short video…..

(make sure your volume is turned up)

Happy Nude Year!

2011-12-30T00:01:00.015-05:00

I realize this will probably be like the 500th New Year’s blog post you’ve already read this week, so I won’t bore you with how I plan on setting a resolution pack with myself for a better 2012, because first of all I can never KEEP resolutions, and second of all I don’t believe in them for myself.

If I resolve or change something about my life, I certainly don’t need a New Year to do it.

Besides, change will happen to me whenever it’s supposed to happen, whether I want it to or not.

Change is inevitable. I can either embrace it or resist it, but it’s still going to change.

I never think of New Years as the beginning of starting something that I want to have happen. I tend to think of New Years with anticipation as to what life is going to give me to happen.

I follow my life. I don’t navigate my life to follow my wants, because my wants are constantly vacillating.

And quite frankly, I don’t always know what’s best for me.

Too many times I’ve actively planned and organized my life as to what direction I wanted it to go, only to be sideswiped by a detour. A detour that required me to take a different path. A path that was much better for me than the one I had planned.

Sometimes the most powerful thing I can do to change the direction of my life…is to stay attentive, wait for my life to give me a cue, and then muster the courage to follow it.

That being said, I can sense a lot of change and growth happening for me in 2012.

And yet, I’m not quite sure as to WHAT that change and growth will actually entail, but I look forward to it with excitement.

For some reason, I feel myself stretching my creative muscles in 2012 – possible changes and expansions in my blog, and changes at work.

I also feel myself opening more to intimacy.

And I know that some of these changes will be challenging because they will cause me to look deep within myself and address my fears. But that’s a good thing. I’ve learned something about my fears; they are my greatest teachers because they allow me to feel both vulnerable and powerful.

My fears are like doorways that when finally opened, I see that I had nothing to fear but my own sense of fearing fear.

Therefore, I embrace the changes and growth that this New Year will have happen to me.

Knowing, I will have all the means at hand to move with these changes.

So bring it on, 2012!

Happy Nude Year Everyone!

And thank you SO MUCH for sharing this past year with me. I look forward to continuing our journey’s with one another in the upcoming year; discovering things as we grow.

Christmas Gifts And How I Spent My Day

2011-12-26T00:01:00.016-05:00

Please don’t feel sad when I tell you how I spent my Christmas day, because if you’ve ever worked in retail during the holiday season surrounded by mobs of people, and experienced the sensory overload of bright lights, constant Christmas music, screaming children, and non-stop talking to customers, you might just understand my need to spend Christmas day totally ALONE and QUIET.

Actually, I had a lovely Christmas day because it was so nice to not have to be anywhere at a specific time. And even though friends offered that I spend the day with them, the last thing I wanted to do was be around MORE people. So, I declined.

I slept in, had a leisurely breakfast while watching the movie “White Christmas”, opened a few Christmas gifts, and then spoke to my mother and brother in Florida on the phone.

Oh yeah, and I also did two loads of laundry because I literally had NO clean clothes to wear. And thank god no other tenants were in the laundry room that day because I had to do my laundry NAKED, except for the big red ribbon and a piece of holly I tied around my manhood.

It gave a whole new meaning to the song, “Jingle Bells.”

Later that night, I had a nice quiet dinner and then spoke to my dear friend, Diana, in Florida on the phone.

It was so glorious to finally have a day to myself, when I could just chill out, relax, and just BE.

To me, Christmas is a state of heart, therefore I can experience the spirit of Christmas whether alone or spending it with others.

Since my immediate family lives in another State, we don't have the chance to get together with one another, therefore we celebrate Christmas in our own way. But yet, together in spirit.

This year, I received some really thoughtful gifts from family, friends, and people I work with.

Here are a few….

My brother, Tom, sent me this book on Lucille Ball because he knows how much I ADORED her.

The book is a documentation of Lucille Ball’s long-spanning career which includes: stories, photos, and replicated memorabilia. It’s such a freakin’ COOL book. Thanks, bro!

Here are some bottles of wine I received from people that I work with because they know how much I love the taste of red wine. My favorites are Cabernet Sauvignon and Pinot Noir. But I also enjoy a hearty Shiraz. Two of these bottles were given to me by my buddy, Frankie. Thanks, Frankie!

My friend, Diana, sent me a FABULOUS body care kit from Kiehl’s because she knows what a beauty product junkie I am. Thanks, Diana!

Here are a two Starbucks gift cards I received from people I work with. I also received one (which I already used) a few weeks ago from my blogging friend over at My Friends With Benefits. Thanks, girl! You have no idea how much that gift card helped to keep me AWAKE during these past two weeks at work.

The only thing I’m not happy about when it comes to this Christmas was that I asked Santa (once again) for a Barbie doll. And considering how NICE I’ve been this year and not NAUGHTY, you would think he would have given me my one GREAT Christmas gift wish.

Therefore, I’ve decided to give Santa a subtle hint for next year….

I feel pretty….oh, so pretty….I feel pretty, and witty, and GAY.

Merry Christmas And An Update

2011-12-19T00:01:00.014-05:00

Hi everyone!

Okay, first things first.

I would like to thank all of you for your comments on my previous post and for stopping by to check up on me these past few weeks during my absence. That really touched me.

Yes, I’m still alive (well, half alive) and surviving this retail season.

Outside of working 9-10 hours a day and being utterly exhausted from TALKING all day, it’s actually been a very good season so far. Customers have been pleasant and are SPENDING. Somehow the ‘energy’ of this holiday season has been different than those in the past. Customers seem to have the true Christmas spirit, being patient, jolly, and very enjoyable to wait on.

Sure, I’ve had a few PAIN IN MY ASS CUSTOMERS, but most everyone else has been cool.

I’ve also had some really great things transpire since I last posted.

Meeting Frankie - I finally met Frankie, the gentleman I posted about last month. And can just tell you how excited and honored I was to meet with him and have the opportunity to say (in person) how much of an inspiration he is to me. I was very moved in meeting him.

And I was right…..he is a very special person.

He’s a beacon of positive energy, which you can feel in his presence. He’s both extremely confident, yet humble. He lives what he believes and practices - there is no such thing as limitation.

I am also VERY excited to say that Frankie has agreed to do an interview with me on my blog next month, when he will answer some questions and share the story of his life, prior and after his motorcycle accident. You will also have the opportunity to response and ask him questions in your comments. When he and I spoke last week, he conveyed to me how anxious he is to do this interview and meet all of YOU because he was so touched by your comments on my previous post about him. So please stay tuned because I have a feeling you’re going to REALLY enjoy this post.

My New Computer – I finally purchased a new desktop computer and am LOVING it! I got a great deal on an HP Pavilion, which ended up being a better and less expensive computer than I had originally been searching for. I’ll be sharing more about that in a future post.

Meeting a fellow blogger – I also had the opportunity to meet up with one of my longtime blogging friends, Dianne at Forks Off The Moment. She made a day-trip into Philadelphia earlier this month, when she and I attended an outstanding performance of The King And I, and then went out for dinner with one of the cast members. Dianne is everything and more I had imagined. She’s an AWESOME gal. Thanks for a great day, dear lady!

Anyway folks, I’ve been thinking about you all and missing the hell out of blogging. I can’t wait to get back into the swing of things and catch up with you.

I hope you’re enjoying this holiday season and savoring those precious moments.

I won’t be posting again until right after Christmas, so I wanted to take this time to wish you and your families a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Thank you for making this year a very special one by sharing your lives with me. You make my life richer in knowing you.

You guys ROCK!

I would like to leave you with a photo that was taken on Christmas day in 1959, when I was only four years old. Please notice how I’m sitting in front of a toy piano, wearing my pajamas and pair of Rocky and Bullwinkle roller skates.

Apparently, I once had great aspirations of becoming the next Wolfgang Amadeus; playing Carnegie Hall while skating across the stage in my pj's....

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

My Seasonal Blogging Break

2011-12-05T00:01:00.011-05:00

As most of you ladies and gents already know, I usually take a break from blogging this month because my hours gradually keep increasing until I’m eventually working 7-days a week, and eating chocolate and drinking coffee.

This is the time of the year when I have to work as many hours as both my companies are willing to give me because I won’t be working for the whole month of January, so I need to build up my savings account cushion.

Gratefully, both my companies found additional hours in their budgets, so they were able to offer me even MORE hours. I normally don’t take a blogging break until about 10 days before Christmas, but this year I’ve decided to take it a bit earlier.

I need to focus all my time and energy on work right now, therefore this will be my only post until the week before Christmas, when I will post again; wishing all of you a very Merry Christmas.

I’m happy to say that so far this Christmas retail season has been very positive, both stress-wise and economically. Customers have been extremely pleasant and less hesitant to make purchases than in past years. Both my companies are doing very well this year, thank heavens.

And I hope it continues.

*fingers crossed*

Oh, and by the way, the monitor on my desktop computer just recently died, so I’ll be shopping for a new one. I’ve decided that the actual computer needs to be replaced also, because I can feel it getting ready CRASH. I’ve had this desktop for over six years now, which came installed with Vista software (which was the most ASININE software EVER created in the HISTORY of software. It was the spawn of SATAN himself!), so I’ll be more than happy to see it go bye-bye. Thank god I also have a laptop because for the past two weeks, that’s all I’ve been using. So wish me luck on getting a great deal on a new desktop HP computer. I’m so excited!

Anyway folks, I wish you all a fantabulous holiday season. And just know I’ll be thinking of you and missing you A LOT.

I will try to stop by and visit your blogs, but it may be sporadic when time permits. At night, I’ll be soaking my feet, sipping some red wine, watching some of my favorite Christmas movies on DVD, and attempting to go to bed earlier than I normally do.

Thank you so much for your understanding during this extremely busy time for me.

Happy Holidays, y’all!

On Ending Relationships

2011-12-02T00:01:00.015-05:00

I owe my inspiration for this post to my blogging buddy, Brit at Blunt Delivery.

So thanks, Brit!...X

Last week, she shared a post about endings - and in particular, endings to relationships. Her words caused me to remember a time back in the 80’s when a relationship with my then partner came to an end.

Within her post, Brit asked some thought-provoking questions which I thought were very insightful as to what we often ask ourselves whenever a relationship is in question.

One of her questions was:

“So what determines whether you make it?”

--------------------------------------------

As most of you already know, back when I lived in NYC, I had a relationship with a man that lasted for five years.

And this was a relationship I had bet my life on would last forever.

However, it didn’t.

In fact, in the end, I was the one who ended it.

It would take too long to explain all the details of our relationship, yet what I can tell you is that our relationship was one of great passion. And I don’t mean just physical passion, I mean an overall passion that made our relationship beautiful, and at times, volatile.

We were like two magnets that were drawn to one another.

We loved each another with such an intensity, but at the same time we disagreed with that same intensity.

We were both much younger when our relationship came into being, so I know that the core of our struggles came from our lack of life experience.

He was three years older then I and had had prior relationships, therefore was more savvy in the ways of manipulation. I on the other hand had had no prior relationships, therefore threw myself into our union with total child-like abandonment; never concerning myself with mind-games. I believed that when you loved someone, there was nothing to hide or withhold. And I also believed in loyalty and commitment.

Let me say, that he was a very good-hearted person deep down and had many wonderful qualities, so I don’t wish to paint him as someone who was all negative. It’s just that he demanded so much. As attractive and talented as he was, he was as equally insecure. But, I never saw this until much later.

I took me years to realize that the reason for his many sexual indiscretions during our relationship was because he needed constant reassurance that he was attractive to the world.

And it took me years to also realize that for as much as he loved me, HIS existence would always be more important.

I tried to accept by overlooking the things I didn’t like, but then ended up resenting myself for accepting those things.

So I began to get vocal, and that’s when the friction commenced.

It was okay if I was passive, yet when I began to assert myself, he didn’t like it.

Our last six months together were a roller coaster ride of ups and downs; fighting, then making up.

In reality, we could both feel that an ending was inevitable, but we desperately clung to the love that connected us.

After one of our most heated arguments, when things got a tad physical, we both decided that a temporary separation over the summer would do us some good by clearing the air and then starting over.

I went back to Florida and stayed with my family for a few months. However, it was during that time when I was alone, I began to replay our five-year relationship over in mind and came to the conclusion that I no longer wanted to participate.

I realized that I had lost myself in our relationship.

My life became his life. I became the invisible man.

But I was as much responsible for that as he. Because I allowed it by not loving myself enough.

Therefore, if I wanted to continue in our relationship I knew I would have to accept it under his terms, and I didn’t want to.

I was exhausted.

So I ended it. Over the phone.

He was shocked.

Yet, as I shared with Brit in my comment on her post, he and I spoke again after 15 years of not seeing or speaking to one another. And our conversation was a very positive one because we both expressed how we remembered loving one another, and sincerely thanked each other for having been in one another’s lives because we learned something.

--------------------------------------------------

Now back to Brits question: “So what determines whether you make it?”

God, I really don’t know the answer to that.

But I do know that after you’ve tried for five years to make it work by accepting the person for who they are, I think you can still love them, but also know when it’s time to move on because you realize that the things you were trying to accept about that person…..are just not acceptable.

So you make a choice.

And does that mean you didn‘t "make it" in the relationship?

No, I don’t think so. It just means you grew out of the relationship……

Have an AWESOME weekend everyone!

The Shark Encounter

2011-11-28T00:01:00.008-05:00

Have you ever met someone for the first time and instantly felt like you were going have a negative encounter?

As though something about their ‘vibe’ made your intuition say, WARNING! WARNING!

I have.

In fact, I met someone like that last week at work.

Often during this time of the year in cosmetic retail, vendors will send in additional support in the way of hiring seasonal freelance workers to help out in the store, promoting their particular line of cosmetics or fragrances.

Let me start off by saying that it’s challenging for a seasonal freelance worker to come into a new and unfamiliar store to work for a brief period of time, because most cosmetic departments have a certain rhythm in which they run, therefore the freelancer has to learn how to quickly adapted to the rhythm and abide by it.

Whenever a seasonal worker comes into our store, I will always introduce myself by welcoming them to our department, and letting them know that if they have any questions or need help, to just ask me. I try to put them at ease, and convey to them that ’we’ in our department work as a team; helping one another.

I can honestly say, that most everyone I work with in my department is a joy.

Sure, we do have a couple of SHARKS, but on the whole, it‘s a pretty tame department.

And trust me, I’ve worked with some people in several cosmetic departments over the past 26 years, that makes Sea Worlds’ Shark Encounter look like a fish bowl full of gobies.

The cosmetic industry is a tough and competitive business, therefore it attracts a lot of aggressive people. And with the economy the way that it is, people are afraid they’ll lose their jobs if they don’t PRODUCE, which makes them get desperate for sales….and at times, just plain NASTY.

However, I don’t play this way. I’m fair and honest, and would never try to intercept someone else’s sale by butting in and pushing my own goods.

Everyone at work knows this about me, and reciprocates the same respect.

Except, seasonal freelance workers will often times try to “test me” because they assume I’m nice and easy. In other words, a pushover.

That is, until they PUSH me.

Such as it was last week, when a seasonal worker (shark) came into our store to help out with one of the cosmetic lines.

As soon as I saw her, I knew she was trouble - the hair on my neck stood up. She had a perpetual scowl on her face, as if she hadn't taken a bowel movement in over a month. Yet, I did what I normally do and greeted her politely, and welcomed her to our department.

However, throughout the day, I noticed that whenever a customer came over to my counter (while I was busy helping another customer) she would swim over and PRETEND to help them with my line, but was SHARKLY trying to push her own products in the hopes that the customer would choose hers over mine.

I let her first and second interceptions go, but when she did it to me a THIRD time I immediately walked over and introduced myself to the customer; informing them that I was the representative for the line and that if they had any questions they could ask ME. And as the customer was busy looking at my products, I gave the SHARK a look with my eyes that said, “YO, HO.…BACK OFF!”

Many of my other fellow employees began to notice that she was doing the same thing to them.

We all eventually got together and spoke to the department manager, explaining to her what was going on with the SHARK, and asked her to speak with her; letting her know that she needed to stay at her own counter and mind her own business.

I watched, as the manager spoke to her, being very stern about how we work in the department and that her way of selling would not be tolerated.

Of course, the SHARK defensively explained that she was only trying to help.

HELP??? HA! Yeah….helping herself to a SALE!

The SHARK got very upset at being reprimanded and said that she would not accept being spoken to that way, then grabbed her coat and stormed out of the store.

Gee, I hated to see her go.

*tee, hee*

Bye-bye, SHARK….

Black Friday....And The Bird

2011-11-25T00:01:00.007-05:00

As most of my longtime readers know, I notoriously post about how HIDEOUS it is in the retail world on this particular day, and how much I DREAD going into work; dealing with the mass hysteria of Black Friday.

I would almost rather dive off the Empire State Building into a bucket of thumbtacks.

Yes, it’s a great day for the consumer because of the sales, I know. But it’s PAINFUL for those of us on the other side of the cosmetic counter, not only because of the crazed crowds, but also because today begins a month-long challenge of dealing with cosmetic and fragrance customers who will ask us, “If I buy something from you, what are you going to give me EXTRA?”

This whole thing about giving something EXTRA to a customer when they buy something from the cosmetic industry has gotten so out of hand, because now purchasing something has turned into a BARGAINING game.

A FLEA MARKET.

A LET’S MAKE A DEAL.

And this is a result of the Estee Lauder Company (which is one of the most aggressive cosmetic companies in the business) when they originally created a MONSTER by offering a free gift with purchase; making the public believe that unless we give them something EXTRA, they’re not getting what they paid for. But what they really did was make the public spend more money to GET the gift.

Sly little boogers.

Yet, not all of us in this industry work for companies who offer free gifts (such as myself), therefore I have to sell my goods by conveying to a customer that what we offer is simply a high quality item, so that’s what they’re getting as an EXTRA.

High quality.

Plus, I try very hard to give the best professional customer service by not being typically pushy, but rather by being attentive, sincere, and knowledgeable. I will also give samples as a token of appreciation.

Personally, I would much rather receive good customer service (which is VOID nowadays) than receive an EXTRA gift, which nine times out of ten is something I would sell at a garage sale with sticker of price of 50 cents.

I’m all for sales and offering specials now and then, because they give consumers a break in the their spending. But this whole EXTRA-FREE GIFT thing with every purchase is for the birds.

So I’ve decided this year, when I get exhausted from standing on my feet for 10 hours, and crash after my caffeine rush wears off, and my patience becomes as thin as a piece of unwaxed dental floss, that whenever a customer demandingly asks me, “If I buy something from you, what are you going to give me EXTRA?”

I will say, “How about this EXTRA exotic bird……”

Have a faaaaabulous weekend everyone!

And pray for me….please.

X

Memories of Thanksgiving Day And Dinner Rolls

2011-11-21T00:01:00.019-05:00

Allow me to start off by saying that my stepmother is an outstanding cook.

And this is a woman who at the young age of 21, married my 45-year old father and knew nothing about cooking. She was raised in a family with three older brothers, so she was more of a tomboy than a Betty Crocker or Martha Stewart-type girl.

She married into my family who were your typical Moonstruck Italians, where cooking and eating were about as crucial to them as turning ‘tricks’ are to a prostitute.

They’re MANDATORY.

I’m sure the first question out my relatives mouths when my father told them that he had asked my mother to marry him were, “But Frank....CAN SHE COOK?”

My mother was honest with my father before she married him and said that she knew nothing about cooking, cleaning, or raising his children because she was just a child herself.

However, she ended up surprising the hell out of herself and my family because she quickly discovered that she was born with a natural ability to not only cook, but also maintain a brilliant household.

And I’m not just saying this because she’s my mother, but this lady made Susie Homemaker look like a novice.

Our home always felt comfortable, relaxed and welcoming. And at the same time, spotlessly clean!

I am extremely blessed and proud to have her as my second mother. And I never realized this until I got a bit older and began looking back on my childhood; seeing what a great one it was, MUCHLY due to her.

Anyway, getting back to my mothers cooking….

She was one of those people who never followed recipes as they were written, but rather took the basic formula and added her own twist. She instinctively knew what to add and what to subtract, creating her own culinary masterpiece. She was like an artist - raw and intuitive.

And as far as her Italian cooking goes, her marinara sauce is so good that it would impress even the most savvy of Italian chiefs. Yes….it’s THAT good!

*smacking my lips*

Bellissima!

Our Thanksgiving Day dinner was always a feast - a cornucopia of soup to nuts. We inevitably ended up having so much food left over that we could eat turkey, dressing, and all the various side dish ancillaries for the next few days.

And speaking of turkey, her bird came out of the oven so tender, moist and juicy, that it literally melted in your mouth.

However.

And this was a TRADITIONAL however.

When it came to the dinner rolls my mother always forgot they were in the oven, therefore about ten minutes after sitting down to the table and saying grace, the aroma of BURNING rolls came wafting out of the kitchen. Whereupon she would scream, “OH DAMN.…I FORGOT THE DINNER ROLLS!!!!!”

She would JUMP up from the table and RUN to oven door, throwing it open, as a large cloud of black smoke came bellowing out like the burning of Atlanta. At which point she would turn on the overhead exhaust fan, sucking out all the odor and smoke before the fire department ever got there.

God love her!

And I can still remember her bringing those poor little burnt dinner rolls to the table, telling us to eat them anyway because charcoal is good for cleaning your teeth….

Wishing you and your family a Happy Thanksgiving Day!....X

Seeing Ourselves Clearly

2011-11-18T00:03:00.013-05:00

A few nights ago, I was watching an episode of Sex and the City on DVD and found myself inspired by one of the questions that Carrie Bradshaw typed on her Mac laptop….

And it’s true, it is easier to see someone else more clearly than we do ourselves.

I remember many years ago when one of my friends described me as someone who was INTENSE.

And I was shocked! Me? Intense?

For some reason I never really saw myself that way, therefore retaliated intensively, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN INTENSE? I’M NOT INTENSE!!!!”

Years later, I began to see that he was right, I am intense. But for some reason back then, I associated the word intense only with something negative. I now realize that intense can also mean passionate, which I am.

But why is it that we can see others more clearly than we do ourselves?

I think the answer is because we’re standing too close; unable to look above and see ourselves from a birds eye view. We’re so busy trying to be ourselves, that we can’t always see objectively.

I use to always pride myself on being able to see myself crystal clear, but discovered that it was a false pride because the view I have of myself is often times clouded by judgment and comparison.

I remember a time when someone referred to me as attractive. Well, you could have knocked me over the head with a rubber mallet because I never thought of myself as being attractive. So the first thing out of my mouth was, “Attractive? Compared to who?"

And even now, at this stage of my life, I am still bowled over when someone will reveal something to me about myself that I’ve never noticed.

Now I’m not saying that I have to agree with everything everyone says, but it does give me the chance to see myself in a different light.

This also pertains to making choices about things. I have a few friends, who if I’m having a difficult time making a decision about something, will ask for their advice.

I think it’s important to stay open to how people who we respect view us.

Because they might just see something we don’t.

Have wonderful weekend everyone!

Christmas Wish List Of Days Gone By

2011-11-14T00:01:00.024-05:00

With the Christmas holidays quickly approaching, I thought I’d share a few of the toys I asked Santa for when I as a kid.

Now remember, when I was a youngster (during the 1950’s and 60’s ) there were no high-tech gadgets such as, computers or video games, so you had to use your imagination to play.

Oh dear….what’s imagination you ask?

That’s that thing in our brains which many kids of today have slowly forgotten about because technology, as wonderful as it is, has NUMBED it into oblivion.

However, when I was a kid you had to use your imagination to create something from nothing.

I can still remember using one of my mothers empty plastic Clorox bleach bottles to create a PIGGY BANK.

I wasn’t a kid who wished for anything outlandishly expensive or complicated. I much preferred playing with toys that were simple; allowing me to use my creativity.

Here are some of the things I placed on my Christmas wish list of days gone by…..

Magic 8 Ball: I loved this toy because it always made me feel like a psychic - as though I could predict the future. One of my favorite questions to ask was, “Will I pass my math test on Wednesday?” The Magic 8 Ball always said, “You may rely on it.” But it LIED….because I always FAILED.

Etch A Sketch: One of my favorite things to do with this toy was to privately sit in my bedroom on a Saturday afternoon and sketch dirty words like: SHIT, BITCH, and ASS, and then quickly turned it over and erase them before my mother walked in and caught me. *Yeah, I was an EVIL child.

Colorforms: I loved this toy not only because it was so much fun to create little scenes from my favorite cartoon The Jetsons, but more so because of the way the plastic colorform pieces SMELLED. Somehow the aroma of colorforms sent me into a blissful state of nirvana; sniffing the pieces and staring into SPACE.

Polaroid Swinger Camera: I just HAD to have one of these when I was a kid. I guess that was when I began my interest in photography. The year I got this camera for Christmas, it also came with FOUR cartridges of film. ALL of which I used to take photographs of my younger brother Tom. At one point my mother said to me, “Okay, Ronnie….can you at least take pictures of something else? I’m SICK of looking at your BROTHER!!!!!”

Operation: This game was not only fun, but also nerve-wracking because if you accidentally set off the red alarm on the patients nose, it made you JUMP off the floor and SCREAM. Later, when I got much older (into my 30’s) it was even more fun to play this game with friends after smoking some grass; making us ultra PARANOID.

Barbie: This was a toy I had always wished for, but never got. Bummer.

DAMN YOU, SANTA! Didn’t you realize I was GAY????

Just, Thank You

2011-11-11T00:01:00.004-05:00

When we initially start a blog, we often think in terms of SINGULAR.

Meaning, that this is OUR blog.

Which, technically, it is.

It’s our own cyber-space where we share whatever moves us, whether it be a specific topic blog on art, photography, fictional stories, crafts, or simply a personal blog where we share a mélange.

However, we eventually begin to realize that a blog is not like a private paper journal in which we write solely for our own enjoyment and fulfillment, because a blog includes readers.

A blog is a sensitive blend of staying true to what we wish to share, and at the same time never forgetting about the people who read it.

What starts off as a single thread (a post), becomes a tapestry of interaction between the author and reader.

It’s kinda like acting onstage. If you didn’t have an audience, it would merely be performing to an empty house. As a stage actor, you rely on the audience for their feedback which propels you forward.

You need to feel their energy.

I suppose that’s why I’ve always preferred the stage to screen, because I enjoy the presence of a live audience.

Performing onstage is a give and take.

You can’t do it alone.

Performing onstage is a shared experience.

And having a blog is also a shared experience.

Family and friends who read my blog have often asked me why I respond to every comment because it just seems like too much work. But for me, it never feels like work because I get so much enjoyment from it. I mean just the fact that someone would take the time to read my words and share a comment, makes me so appreciative that I WANT to respond back.

I also get so much enjoyment from leaving comments on YOUR blogs. And being YOUR audience; cheering you on, sharing support, and contributing in my own way.

Blogging is truly about community; bringing people together.

Therefore, I would like to take this time to just say, thank you.

To ALL of you who come and share your thoughts, feelings, and opinions. And for always sharing them with such openness, kindness, humor, and respect.

Honestly, I don’t think I would have this blog for as long as it‘s been, if it weren’t for you.

My sincere wish is that you always feel very much appreciated, valued, and cherished.

Have a maaaaaavalous weekend!

More Bees With Honey Than Vinegar

2011-11-07T00:26:00.012-05:00

Let me start off by being completely honest in saying that patience is not one of my strongest virtues. On a scale of 1 to 10, patience lands somewhere around minus 1 when it comes to me. And not only am I impatient, but sometimes intolerant - especially when it comes to people doing their jobs correctly. Or rather, how “I” see them being done correctly.

I am fully aware of WHY I am impatient with others. I am impatient with others because I’m impatient with myself and the high standards I place on my own doing.

However, every so often I will learn a lesson in patience.

-----------------------------------

Last Monday morning, I remembered a saying that my mother told me as a kid.

“You catch more bees with honey than vinegar.”

And the reason I remembered this was because for the THIRD time in the one year that I’ve worked for this particular vendor, the payroll company they use claims that they did not receive my payroll invoice - therefore, couldn’t pay me.

Which made me want to go insane and scream, “YOU STUPID IDIOTS! YOU LOST MY INVOICE AGAIN!”

Allow me to explain….

In order for me to get paid, I have to fill out and fax an invoice to a payroll company with both my hours worked and productivity totals. Once they get the invoice, they cut a check and then direct deposit into my checking account.

However, something in my psyche told me they hadn’t received my invoice from the previous week, so I decided to listen my intuition and call them to double check.

I was right, they hadn’t gotten my invoice. Well…I don’t think it’s because they hadn’t gotten it because this has happened THREE times. I really think it’s because someone in the office misplaced or lost them. I mean come on, I had fax confirmation reports clearly stating that my invoices went through, so I knew ALL three had gotten there.

Let me just add here, that I also work for another vendor who I also fax my invoices to, yet this has never happened with them in SIX years.

Anyway, after calling them very early Monday morning and being told they never got my fax, I began to feel agitated and extremely annoyed. I was told to call them back after 3 p.m. to see if they had found my invoice. So I waited (impatiently) while cleaning my apartment, because that’s what I do when I’m agitated and annoyed. I clean.

At 3:05, I called them back and was told they did NOT find my invoice and that I’d have to fax it again.

SON. OF. A. BITCH.

Well….I wish you all could have seen my body language at that point. I looked liked the Wicked Witch of the West after she discovered that Dorothy possessed the Ruby Red Slippers, and realized there was no way in hell she could get them off her feet unless she KILLED her.

I almost exploded into a ball of FLAMES.

But suddenly, I heard my mothers voice saying…..

“Remember, you catch more bees with honey than vinegar, Ronnie”

So instead of screaming, I decided to change the ‘tone’ of my voice into Shirley Temple, and be very sweet to the lady who was helping me. I BEGGED her to make sure that if I re-faxed my invoice, she would be positive I got paid on Friday. It was then that she said, “I’ll tell you what….just fax your invoice directly to me and I’ll be SURE it gets to the right place as fast as possible.”

I thanked her profusely and told her that I really appreciated her kind efforts.

So, I RAN to Kinko’s and immediately faxed it to the number she gave me because she was leaving her office at 3:30.

Once I got I back from Kinko’s, I called her office to ask if she had received it. Where upon, she said that she had.

YAHOOOO!

And not only did she tell me that she got it, but also said that she would hand deliver it to the proper person so that my paycheck would be direct deposited by Friday. Positive.

I said, “OMG…thank you! You’re a doll and a life-saver. I could KISS you!”

She giggled and said, “You’re very welcome.”

So you see, my mother was right….you DO catch more bees with honey!

However, I’ll have to remember that the next time I get impatient and intolerant.

Which…um…will probably be within the next 24-hours.

A Man Who’s An Inspiration

2011-11-04T00:01:00.012-04:00

Today, I would like to share a story about a man who I don’t know personally, but often see in the store at which I work.

As I’ve shared in many of my posts, I am extremely sensitive to peoples energy and can usually feel it within the first few minutes of seeing or meeting them.

I can still remember the very first time I saw this particular man, riding through the cosmetic department in his wheelchair.

There was a tremendous sense of confidence in his energy. And not a cocky confidence, but rather a quiet and powerful confidence that simply said, “I’m perfectly comfortable with myself.”

He also exuded a sense of genuine happiness and deep inner peace.

Whenever I saw him, he was always smiling.

I took him to be in his mid-30’s. Handsome and well-dressed.

But it was more than just what he looked like, that caught your attention.

It was his whole persona.

He had a light about him.

Allow me to interject here, that I have always had a tender spot in my heart for those who are physically challenged. And not because I feel sorry for them, but rather because I have great admiration and respect.

It’s tough enough in this world to make it through with all our physical faculties intact. But, it’s even more tough to go through this world being physically challenged.

Throughout these past few years, I’ve seen this gentleman in the store during his lunch hour, sometimes purchasing a fragrance in the men’s department. And every single time I see him, I can’t help but feel that he is a very special human being. As if he’s a wise and enlightened soul, with something very important to teach the rest of us.

One day last week, I saw him ride through the department and head over to one of the cosmetic counters across the isle from where I was standing.

I watched, as one of the ladies (who I know fairly well), greeted him with a big smile.

And I was somewhat surprised because I had no idea that she even knew him.

He handed her a white plastic bag. And has she reached in and took out the contents, I could see that it was a box of pastries.

I heard her say thank you, and then gave him a hug.

The whole time I was observing this interaction between the two of them, I found myself feeling very emotional.

After he left, I walked over and asked her who he was and how she knew him.

Apparently, she and he have known each other for many years because they grew up in the same neighborhood.

I asked if she wouldn’t mind confiding in me why he was in the wheelchair.

And she did.

She told me his name is Frankie. And that when he was in his early 20's, he was driving a motorcycle and got hit by a car; leaving him paralyzed from the chest down.

She also told me that he was the most incredible person she had ever known, because after he found out that he was paralyzed, he accepted it with such amazing grace.

He never had the attitude, “Why me?”

He just embraced this challenge, and proceeded with his life.

He went to college, got a degree, and ended up landing an incredible job.

He also creates videos, which are targeted for other people who are physically challenged. The videos are tutorials on things like: how to adjust to using a wheelchair, how to get in and out of bed, how to shower and groom yourself, and how to live a normal and full life being paralyzed.

After she told me this, my eyes welled up with tears because my feelings had been correct….he was special.

Here was a man, who took what most people would perceive as a negative, and turned it into a positive.

Here was a man, who at such a young age could have spent the rest of his life being bitter. But instead, spends his life helping others.

Here was a man, who instead of frowning, carries a smile on his face.

And here was a man….who is an inspiration to us ALL.

There is no such thing as limitation.

It’s all in how we embrace it.

Thank you, Frankie. You're my hero.

And when I grow up.....I wanna be just like you!

Wishing you an inspiring weekend everyone!

The City of Much Noodge

2011-10-31T00:01:00.012-04:00

Unless you’re familiar with Yiddish, you may have never heard the brilliantly descriptive term: noodge.

I LOVE that term.

Here are a few definitions I found online:

Noodge: to nag or annoy with constant complaining.

Noodge: to pester, nag, whine.

Noodge: to be nosey, pushy and a general pain in the ass.

I realize that noodges live everywhere in the world, but I would almost bet that the greater percentage of them live right here in Philadelphia.

Whenever I think of a noodge, I envision Alice Pearce from the TV show, Bewitched.

Noodges are people who are always in your business.

Always stickin' their nose where it doesn’t belong.

And they're not doing this out of genuine concern, they're doing this because they're just plain NOSEY and want to gossip about it with their next door neighbor. Who, which by the way, also gossips about THEM.

Noodges are always handing out free advice and telling you what to do. And while they’re telling you what to do, it feels as though they’re jabbing their index finger into your shoulder, and saying, “YOU. NEED. TO. DO. THIS!”

Noodges don’t comprehend the meaning of personal boundaries.

Noodges also COMPLAIN a lot.

They can‘t wait until summer gets here and then they complain about the heat. They complain about the cold of winter. They complain about the snow. And they complain about the rain. The only time they don’t complain is when it’s 75 degrees, zero humidity, sunny, and the barometric pressure is perfect.

And just to give you an example of how NOODGIE this city is, I want to share something that happened to me a few weeks ago while I was out taking a few photographs.

I was down in Society Hill, which is a gorgeous historical part of Philadelphia, yet it’s also the most uppity part of town. It’s primarily full of Philadelphia natives with blue blood, who think that only other people with blue blood have the right to be there.

Society Hills is beautiful, yet it’s clearly unto itself.

Anyway, I was standing on the sidewalk with my camera; getting ready to take a photograph of a PUBLIC garden, when this woman suddenly stuck her head out her front door and just STARED at me.

I smiled and said, “Hello!” However, she didn’t respond. But instead, slammed the door.

About a minute later, she opened her front door again and STARED at me with these suspicious eyes, as if I was a serial killer or daytime home-robber.

I said “Hello” again, but got another door slammed at me.

Finally, after the third time of opening her front door and STARING at me, I said, “Excuse me, but do you have a problem?”

She flusteredly replied, “No-o.”

I said, “Then why do you keep staring at me? All I‘m doing is taking a picture. And for your information, I LIVE in this city, therefore have just as much right to be here as you do.”

Just then....*SLAM!*

Noodge: to be nosey, pushy and a general pain in the ass.

Yup….that pretty much sums it up.

*So tell me, have you ever experienced a noodge?

From My Vampire Chronicles

2011-10-28T00:01:00.015-04:00

As most of my longtime readers already know, I adore nighttime.

And just like a vampire….I come alive.

Not only do I come alive at night, but I simultaneously feel more relaxed and calm.

Without sounding too ‘New Age’ - my body and spirit seem to be more in tune to the energetic vibration of night.

I’m always inspired to do things like: write, edit my photographs, research topics on the internet, watch documentaries, and read.

Somehow I feel more receptive and creative after the sun goes down, as it becomes dark and quiet.

I worship the darkness of night.

There’s something so delightfully romantic and sexy about seeing city lights against a dark sky.

And now that it’s Fall, and our days are shorter, I love how darkness falls early.

I think I’m probably one of the few people who prefers shorter days and longer nights.

But hey…..that’s because I’m a vampire!

Wednesday evening after I got out from work, I decided to take a leisurely stroll through the city before going home.

Luckily, I had my camera with me so I took a few photos during that special ‘twilight time’ - between light and dark - as the city comes alive with a magic *twinkle*.

Please enjoy…..

A view of the Comcast Building

A lighted walkway

An illuminated fountain sculpture

One of the many office buildings along Market Street

A view down Market Street

A view from my apartment window

Me, getting ready to hit the streets for a little biting and sucking.

Wishing you a weekend of vampire nights everyone!

I Freaked Out In Starbucks

2011-10-24T00:01:00.015-04:00

Sometimes when I get mad after I‘ve had enough, I can be quite the Tasmanian Devil.

I’m not one of those cool people who is always in control of my emotions. Therefore, sometimes when I get pissed.…you would never mistake me for being subtle.

It SHOWS when I’m really mad.

That’s not always the most polite way to handle things, I know, but I’ve accepted this about myself because sometimes you just have to get mad to make point - when nothing else works.

Last Thursday afternoon, I had an encounter at a Starbucks that would have tested even the patience of both Mother Theresa and Mahatma Gandhi.

Allow me to say, that this particular Starbucks is the most mismanaged and disorganized store I have ever been to. The staff is BEYOND slow, the drink orders are always getting mixed up, the condiment stand is always out of condiments, and the store in general has a very chaotic feel to it. Customers are always complaining. I myself have called Starbucks Corporate and complained about the service in this store.

I’ve been to MANY Starbucks in my life, yet I have never experienced one that should be rated X.

For X-tra HORRIBLE.

Yes, I patronize this particular Starbucks out of my own free-will, but ONLY because it’s convenient to where I work, so I really shouldn’t bitch. I should just go to another Starbucks during my breaks. But hey, I needed something to blog about, so why not VENT?

The first thing that annoyed me was when I was ordering my coffee and oatmeal raisin cookie, the cashier ABSENTMINDEDLY rang up the order of the customer standing next to me on MY debt card. And I never noticed it until after she had already charged me. I thought the total was a bit high, but since Starbucks is constantly raising their prices, I didn’t think anything about it until I looked at my receipt and saw an extra coffee drink added. And when I brought this to the cashiers attention, she said, “Oooops….I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I already charged your debt card.”

So, rather than cause a scene (because I truly wanted to) I decided to let it go and treat the person standing next to me to their coffee for the day.

Then, after waiting FIVE minutes to get my drink, I had to ask, “Excuse me, but where is my coffee?”

The cashier replied, “Oooops….sorry, but I guess the barista didn’t hear me order it.”

So, she had to RE-order it.

(another FIVE minutes past)

When I finally got my coffee, I said, “And what about my oatmeal cookie?”

She said, “Oooops….I totally forgot about it.”

Well, by this time I was FUMING. You could literally see steam coming out of my ears and a white foam forming on my lips.

I FREAKED OUT and decided it was time to cause a SCENE.

I suddenly held up both my hands and yelled, “ HOLD IT! HOLD IT! TIME OUT! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE???? First, you charge another customers order to MY debt card. THEN, you forget my coffee. THEN, you forget my cookie. Would someone please tell me what is going on here, BECAUSE I’M OVER IT!!!!”

*you could hear a pin drop*

This was when the barista walked over and said, “I’m sorry for the hold up, but I didn’t hear the cashier place your order.”

I said, “This is not the first time that this has happened to me. As a matter of fact, it happens a lot….NOW GET ME MY OATMEAL COOKIE!”

The barista RAN to get my cookie and when she handed it to me, I SNAPPED it out of her hand like mouse trap and shouted, “THE SERVICE IN THIS PLACE SUCKS!”

Just then, all the customers standing in line Boo’d me, saying, “Why don’t you try being more patient, sir?”

It was then that I spun around and snarled, “PATIENT? I’ll have you know that I’m on a 15 minute break and it took me an HOUR to get this order - AND MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS!”

*more Boo’s*

Well, let’s just say that the next day when I went into Starbucks and placed my coffee and oatmeal cookie order….

I got it in less than a minute. And for F-R-E-E.

See…..sometimes you just gotta be a Tasmanian Devil!