Random Cathy

There is never enough evidence...

2012-02-15T05:00:00.000-06:00

It is really flattering when someone flirts with you.
Evidence that you are beautiful. Desirable.

It is really energizing when you get the promotion.
Evidence that you are valued. Worthy.

It feels really great to get something new.
Evidence that you are successful. Status.

However, no matter how good it feels in the moment, there is never enough external evidence to prove to ourselves we are enough. And we've seen enough cautionary tales of people who follow the path of looking for more and more and more to know where it leads.

Yet if you don't do the work to seek that which is not dependent on external evidence for joy, peace and contentment, you will fall for the external every time.

On punishment...

2012-02-13T05:00:00.000-06:00

Recently in a small Bible study group a discussion came up about a church who disciplined one of its members who had confessed cheating sexually by sending a letter to the congregation with detailed instructions on how to interact with the person in social settings. It was punitive.

I've thought about it a lot recently. The conversation plays along with another conversation I have in my head with a friend whose spouse cheated on them. Their response was: "But if I forgive, then there are no consequences. They just get away with it."

In both scenarios I find myself struck by the desire to punish in contrast to Jesus' response to the woman caught in adultery. (He stopped the crowd from stoning her and sent her home forgiven.) Or his response to brutal beatings, humiliation and being hung to die...("Father forgive them, they don't know what they are doing.)...

If we are called to that kind of forgiveness--and I believe we are--then what about consequences?

I think it is possible that we don't believe that good is good. Like the older brother in the story of the Prodigal Son we believe that the grass is greener in rebellion.

What if our hearts shifted so that we knew that "the right thing" was the most joyful, beautiful and best? That we saw the person in sin as the one in the cage rather than the one who was free? What if we really believed that love was a much more powerful tool than punishment for restoration?

It occurs to me that there is a gap between the heart of scripture and our practice. One we desperately need to close.

Unexpected and sort of cool

2012-02-10T05:00:00.000-06:00

Last night I got an award for what I do professionally.

Which was unexpectedly cool.

Just sayin.

On truth...

2012-02-08T05:00:00.000-06:00

I once had a seminary student explain how it baffled him that two godly men, equally committed and searching the scriptures, could come to wildly different conclusions about fundamental issues.

It has been interesting to me to see the same thing in yoga. People very committed to their practice--even top historical yogis--can have extremely conflicting ideas.

And so I've been thinking about that. Churches are adamant about doctrine. And yet there are always differences...causing division, after division, after division. And we ignore that. We push the divisions aside as if they were unavoidable. As if we aren't culpable in the state of the way things are because we are right.

We don't have a lot of Jesus's prayers recorded, but some of them are. In the 17th chapter of John it recalls Jesus asking: "Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as we are one. "

We don't have a lot of one-ness going on.

I wonder if that is because we are seeking one-ness around the wrong things. Clearly it is human nature to disagree about the abstract because we see it all through our own experience. We can point to Scripture (which I happen to believe is authoritative) but the way we see those scriptures can be so different (I don't happen to find us authoritative.). Why would God leave truth in the hands of such a faulty system?

It occurs to me that we may have messed this up. What if truth is more basic than this? What if when Jesus says "I am the way, the truth and the life..." He isn't referring to the facts about Him, He is referring to Himself.

Love and sacrifice--universally understandable experiences regardless of your geography, faith or circumstances--produce unity rather than division. Humility (and there is nothing more humble than God taking human form) also produces one-ness.

It occurs to me that we get lost in the words that are written and lose the big story those words tell. That a God who created the universe wanted to be with us enough that He clothed Himself in humility and loved enough to sacrifice.

How could we find that as truth that and do so little of it? We are called to so much more than a set of ideas written in words.

It's the little things...

2012-02-06T05:00:00.000-06:00

It's the little things that make love so enjoyable.

Snuggling on the couch.

Someone to check in with during the day.

Sharing a meal.

Or when your husband drives to north Plano to get refills on your Copic markers while you are in Ft. Worth visiting your mom in the hospital.

Yet oddly, sometimes we get busy and forget to do the small things for each other. Love is more fun when we remember.

Eviction Notice

2012-02-03T05:00:00.000-06:00

I'm tired of all of the products that have failed me.

Shampoos that didn't give me luxurious hair...
Lipsticks a shade off...
Creams that are greasy without moisturizing...
Mostly I'm tired of tripping over you on the way to products I use and like.

Well today I'm done. I don't care how much of you is left or how much I paid for you, this is your eviction notice.

And I'm not replacing you either. Your function will now be served by a multipurpose, natural product. Baking soda, grapeseed oil...something that wouldn't poison a child if they got into it.

I'm tired of wasting money on the hype--where only one product in 20 delivers. If there is a good brand out there, I've found it. I'll keep using it. But all of the others...OUT!

A story about Bird and Dog

2012-02-01T05:00:00.000-06:00

My parents have a little dog, Bandit. Bandit enjoyed his life as an only child.

One day when my dad was standing by the curb out in his yard, a little white bird landed at his feet. When he stooped down, the bird didn't fly away, so he offered it his finger.

It stepped up and Dad could see it was a white parakeet. Dad brought Bird into the house.

Dad got Bird a cage--which it doesn't like to leave. (We chalk that up to some harrowing experiences living outdoors).

However, there was a small problem. Dog did not like Bird.

Bird sang happily in the window. Dog ignored it.
Dad talked with bird. Dog ignored dad.
Mom talked with Bird. Dog sulked.

Eventually, Dad got Bird a bigger cage and moved her back to his office, and a strange thing happened. When Dad played the song, Amazing Grace, on his computer, Bird sang.
And Dog sang.
In fact, Dog jumped up in the chair close to Bird and the two sang together.

And somehow Dog and Bird have developed a relationship as a singing duo.

And Bandit stopped minding that she was part of the family.

Homemade Laundry Detergent

2012-01-30T05:00:00.000-06:00

Inspired by Green Cleaning: Natural Hints and Tips--a book I picked up at Barnes and Noble, I've been gradually phasing out the chemicals in my house in favor of baking soda, vinegar, lemons, salt and essential oils.

This week I decided to try a recipe I found online for homemade laundry detergent. Apparently, this is now "a thing" since when I went to Walmart for supplies, they were all located beside each other on the laundry aisle.

The recipe.
3 cups Borax
3 cups Washing Soda
3 bars of soap (The site I saw suggested Fels Naptha--which is what I tried, but the scent is strong, so next batch I plan on Ivory.)
About 15 drops of essential oil for scent. (I used lavender.)

The bars of soap have to be grated--so I broke out my Salad Shooter in order to do 3 bars quickly. Then I simply mixed everything together in a big bowl and put in an airtight jar.

As the book I read suggested, I used distilled white vinegar as a rinse agent, and I have two dryer balls--which I use instead of fabric sheets.

The results were better than I'd hoped. The towels smelled really clean as I pulled them from the washer and I liked the way they felt coming out of the dryer.

I learned I was a terrible person...

2012-01-27T05:00:00.000-06:00

Any month where there is a 5th Sunday, Crosspointe cancels regular services and does something practical in the community. (Which is where I learned I was a terrible person.)

On this particular 5th Sunday, Crosspointe called an organization we often partner with and offered our congregation for a day of whatever they needed done in their thrift shop. I was assigned to the team tasked with matching donated shoes.

Being a bit of a germaphobe (John, stop smirking) I balked at having to pull flip flops that looked like they'd been through every disgusting path of land from here to El Paso out of a bin of other things that had been on people's feet and putting them together. To match them, I had to touch tennis shoes that smelled dreadful. (I thought terrible thoughts about the person who donated those shoes.) And worse, very few shoes were tied together, so it was bin after metal bin of playing the memory game. (To be fair, there were many, many shoes that looked like they had hardly been worn, and I suspect that the thrift store in only interested in those.)

After that experience, I've learned a few things I wish to share that quite frankly never occurred to me before this event:

1) Don't donate shoes that are gross. (Flip flop girl, I SINCERELY hope you are reading this.) These shoes aren't being recycled, they are being donated to people. I don't care how poor you are, no one wants to put filthy shoes on their feet.

2) Fasten the shoes you donate in pairs. You can rubber band, tie shoetrings together, or use one of those plastic hoohas designed to keep cables together. The hours our team spent matching shoes could have been spent stocking shelves or sorting clothes into sizes.

3) You probably have stuff in your closet collecting dust that someone could be using right now. I went home and got rid of all the shoes that I didn't love. Those that fit "okay" but not great. The heels I kept to go with a single outfit that only got worn once a year. The reality is they had dust on them from lack of use.

If you live in the North Dallas area and want to be part of one of Crosspointe's 5th Sunday events the next one is this Sunday, January 29th at Theatre 166. We are making sandwiches to stock The Soup Mobile. Just show up with a package of cheese and lunch meat at the venue at 10:30 AM. For details check the Facebook event page

On Jewish law and resource management

2012-01-25T05:00:00.000-06:00

There is an ancient Jewish law in the book of Leviticus that says: "When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Leave them for the poor and for the foreigner residing among you."

And so I was thinking about that. Other than the obvious philanthropic intent, why leave the margins? Why not simply harvest the whole thing and give a certain amount away?

It occurs to me that the law is worded like that because developing a habit of leaving margin is important. What if what works in fields and on pages works in life?

What if we've missed something if we live in a way that uses everything up completely?

And so I started imagining what life would look like if we left some around the edges. Would there be time unscheduled, food left on our plate, money in our accounts? If we did that, would we have more to share?

It occurs to me I need to think more about margin.

First weekend of In-Depth Yoga Studies

2012-01-23T05:00:00.001-06:00

This weekend was my first with Shanon Buffington to kick off the In-Depth yoga studies. There are 29 of us and the commitment is intense. To complete the course and become certified, we are expected to attend all weekend sessions (~once a month Fri, Sat, Sun for the next nine months), complete 50 hours of homework, attend 20 hours of classes and maintain our personal practice.

And guess what? I loved it!

Shanon began the class saying that yoga--when you get beyond just the physical practice--is about accessing that 90% of our brain's potential that scientists say goes unused.

As we went around the circle at the beginning of the weekend, and introduced ourselves, it occurred to me that unlocking potential was the reason we were all there. People shared stories not only of where they lived and how they got into yoga, but also of who they wanted to help by going through this program. Stories of how they loved being students.

So I find myself excited not only about the content, but also about being in a room with 29 people on a quest of becoming. (Even if the first four months are going to be spent on anatomy--which after reading the book, I'm pretty sure is going to kick my a** way more than an Ashtanga class. )

Cupcakes....my vegan nemisis

2012-01-20T05:00:00.000-06:00

It all started when I walked through the mall and passed a store the color of Barbie's convertible. Over the doorway it said, Sugar Queen.

"What's the deal with cupcakes?" I asked John as we walked through the mall.

"I think there's a show on Food Network."

"There are stores popping up everywhere. It's like it's a 'thing' now."

John didn't even glance at me and kept walking.

"Seriously, it's like cupcake stores are the new Starbucks."

John stopped and raised an eyebrow. "You want to try one don't you?"

Six dollars and fifty cents later he came out with two and handed me one on a napkin. I am not kidding--it was one of the yummiest things I've ever put in my mouth. And, the sheer deliciousness of it...and compulsion to stop each time I passed the pinkety-pink counter put a serious dent in my quest to be vegan.

But as of today, that stops! Because today...this arrived!

Moskowitz and Romero--who brought me my beloved Veganomicon--produced a cookbook designed to save me from my plight. There is still a small hitch to work out. I don't actually bake. So I bought a muffin pan sized for my toaster oven deciding that it would be less intimidating. After all...it is only six cupcakes, so if it turns out to be a disaster, it is a limited one.

Stay tuned...

On context

2012-01-18T05:00:00.000-06:00

One of the great gifts John gave to me is a love for superheroes and sci-fi. Not growing up with brothers that world completely passed me by in high school.

I've caught up.

One of the things about the ordinary-man-in-extraordinary-world and extraordinary-man-in-ordinary-world plots that drive these genres is that it lets you explore life in a different context--and that change in context can provide extraordinary insight.

Fiction gives your mind permission to see things in a new way--"willful suspension of disbelief." When you step outside your world into a new one or experience a character with powers we don't normally possess, it changes our perception of what is possible in the world we live in.

I recently saw the sci-fi movie "In Time" with Justin Timberlake and Amanda Seyfried. The movie is about a world with no money--there are only minutes. The rich--those with lots of time--become immortal. The poor work hard to get enough time just to live another day. That change in context made me see the real world differently. We tend to equate money with things. So people either have a lot of things or few things. But in a world where the currency is time, the issues are about life. The lack of resources makes each day a life/death situation.

There were lots of insights in the movie, but the one that struck me the hardest was when the bus fares were raised causing Olivia Wilde's character not to be able to afford the trip. She had to run to her destination to get more minutes. Since she couldn't make the trip in the time she had left, she ran out of time and dropped dead in the street. It occurred to me that poverty is really that desperate.

Another recent move that contained a powerful story line was an indie film called "Another Earth." The central storyline is about a girl who made a mistake with tragic consequences and her battle with trying to come to peace. But the change in context of the situations that are caused by the appearance of "another earth" mean that our brains don't automatically predict/qualify/classify. We watch the movie as something new and because of that we can see new things...not just about the characters but about ourselves.

So thank you, John, for introducing me to a world of stories. At best, it has given me insight...and at the least I now get the references on the Big Bang Theory.

Taking joy in the mundane

2012-01-16T05:00:00.000-06:00

There are tasks that are repetitive and tedious but must be done. Normally, I try to do them as fast as possible without complaining. Rush through and check the box.

But Saturday, when I painted the bathroom and went grocery shopping--I decided to take my time. To see if there was joy in the mundane. I slowly and deliberately took off wall plates and removed the curtains. Found the supplies in the garage. Rolled and edged. The results were beautiful. (I've wanted to change the color ever since I painted it the first time.) But not only that, I enjoyed the process.

The afternoon was the same. I didn't rush. I rode my bicycle to the grocery store near the major intersection closest to our house. (I have a "beach cruiser" which is like the bike I had at 6-years-old, upsized. It has baskets on the back--which when shopping for two seems to be enough if I strategically balance an extra bag across the back.) I slowly browsed each aisle rather than clipping through my list.

This slowness--which normally would have frustrated me as taking up time that could be spent reading or getting something else done--was actually nice. I enjoyed it.

Maybe this whole idea of intention in 2012 won't be so bad after all...

On Doubt...

2012-01-13T05:00:00.000-06:00

Doubt is the worst type of fear. Maybe because it isn't big. Instead it is small, nagging...insidious.

I'm not talking about the kind of doubt that people have sometimes about facts and figures. I'm talking about the kind of doubt that makes you question your life. Are you in the right marriage, job, faith, etc.? I believe that most of the times those doubts surface because we would prefer to externalize the more dangerous doubts about ourselves...Am I loveable, talented, enough...?

Doubt is a type of fear that can destroy--not in a big, grand gesture, but in a tiny chipping away. The weird part is that it questions what is by proposing that it might not be.

Dale Carnegie said, "Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage." I"m not sure in what context he said this but it occurs to me that the thought is true. You can move forward silencing the inner critic of your soul and that act of forward motion can free you.

But maybe a more important ally than action is hope. Hope that the higher things in life are real. That we are more than we seem to be. That the most beautiful parts of reality--and of ourselves--are often hidden.

Simply Vegan | Green Smoothies

2012-01-11T06:16:00.000-06:00

Even vegetarians have a hard time getting enough green vegetables in their diet--especially in the winter. One of the things the Blissful Chef taught us during our consultation was about how to make green smoothies. Here are the ingredients:

1c almond or soy milk
1 scoop protein powder (non-dairy)
Huge handful of spinach leaves
1 frozen banana (the secret ingredient to make it taste great)
1 c. frozen fruit (peaches, berries, mango, etc.)

To assemble, put all ingredients in the blender.

Blend.

Easy, huh? Plus smoothies are highly portable and easy to take on the commute.

Worthwhile pursuits | Memorizing poetry

2012-01-09T05:00:00.000-06:00

Nancy-the-Insightful and I decided to take Dr. Oz's 28-day Challenge. One of the challenges was to memorize a poem. I chose this one by Emily Dickinson.

"Hope" is the thing with feathers—
That perches in the soul—
And sings the tune without the words—
And never stops—at all—

And sweetest—in the Gale—is heard—
And sore must be the storm—
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm—

I've heard it in the chillest land—
And on the strangest Sea—
Yet, never, in Extremity,
It asked a crumb—of Me.

Reading for growth...

2012-01-06T05:00:00.000-06:00

In 2003, multiple members of the team from my day job attended Leadership Network's Camp Improv and heard Jim Collins speak. It inspired us all to read Good to Great. The book was transformational to our language, methodology and thought processes. But more than that, we learned just how much a good book can impact growth...and we began reading.

This process has bled from my professional life to my personal one. Reading for entertainment can be a great way to spend a weekend, but reading for growth is something different. I usually get my titles from the reading lists of people I respect or I surf Amazon in topics that interest me. I have a few friends--including my pastor--who occasionally recommend "dangerous" books...which are always fun.

In looking over what I read in 2011, it was interesting to me that I averaged two a month. Given that 2012 is a year of intention, I'd like to set an intention to read more classics. Maybe poetry.

As for the list of what I read this past year, I'm including it. Not because I think you will read it <grin> , but because I don't want to forget...

Communication and Interaction
The Naked Presenter: Delivering Powerful Presentations With or Without Slides by Garr Reynolds
Resonate: Present Visual Stories that Transform Audiences by Nancy Duarte
Architect's Essentials of Negotiation (The Architect's Essentials of Professional Practice) by Ava Abramowitz
SPIN Selling by Neil Rackham
The SPIN Selling Fieldbook: Practical Tools, Methods, Exercises, and Resources by Neil Rackham

Human Journeys
Ravenous: A Food Lover's Journey from Obsession to Freedom by Dayna Macy
Inside Out and Back Again by Thanhha Lai
Living Yoga: Creating A Life Practice by Christy Turlington
The Help by Kathryn Stockett
The Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd
Poseranity, Unmasking the Poser Within by Tony Brown

Yoga Curriculum
The Heart of Yoga: Developing a Personal Practice by T. K. V. Desikachar
Science of Breath by Swami Rama
Anatomy and Asana: Preventing Yoga Injuries by Susi Hately Aldous
Royal Path: Lessons on Yoga by Swami Rama
Four Chapters on Freedom: Commentary on the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali by Swami Satyananda Saraswati

Life Skills
Veganomicon: The Ultimate Vegan Cookbook
Quitterby Jon Acuff
Reworkby Jason Fried
Voluntary Simplicity: Toward a Way of Life That Is Outwardly Simple, Inwardly Richby Duane Elgin

Inspiration and Spirituality
Love Wins: A Book About Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived by Rob Bell
The Naked Now: Learning to See as the Mystics Seeby Richard Rohr
Read. Think. Pray. Live. (TH1NK)by Tony Jones
Perseveranceby Margaret Wheatley

Books that Just Seemed like They Would be Interesting
Animals Make Us Human: Creating the Best Life for Animals by Temple Grandin
Moonwalking with Einstein: The Art and Science of Remembering Everything (currently reading)

So, what do you plan for your reading list in 2012?

Really enjoying the Hipstamatic App

2012-01-04T05:00:00.000-06:00

It shouldn't be this fun. And in fact, there may come a day when I regret having used it to take all of the Christmas photos this year, but I've had a blast with the Hipstamatic App. It's designed to give you all of the joy of your old cheap film camera without the expense of developing a ton of film.

The digital photos I get now are mostly perfect. (And if they aren't, I can just fix them in Photoshop.) But back in the old days (ha!) there used to be some spectacular photos among the terrible ones created through a bounce of light, a grainy texture or other imperfections that came in your roll of 24.

Here are some of the images I captured when I was playing with it:

This is John.

My Dad

Chase and Bethany

Me.

Theme for 2012

2012-01-01T05:00:00.000-06:00

New Years resolutions just made me feel like a dismal failure as I bummed myself out with expectations I could rarely fulfill, so each year...instead...I come up with a theme. It gives me focus and sets trajectory.

For me, 2012 is a year of intention. The phrase is used in yoga a lot as the instructor asks us to "set an intention for the practice." In thinking about this as a theme, I decided to look it up. From Merriam Webster:
Definition of INTENTION

: a determination to act in a certain way : resolve

: import, significance

a : what one intends to do or bring aboutb : the object for which a prayer, mass, or pious act is offered

The idea for me is to place meaningful focus on everything I engage in. To move to more intentional living. To act with purpose.

There is a lot of structure in place already in 2012 to support this. I am signed up to spend the next 9 months in Advanced Yoga Training (200 hours) with Shannon Buffington; I've purchased a year of 6am classes at my local yoga studio; I'm committed for six months of executive coaching via my day job; and John and I have four nights each week committed to the intimacy of simply coming home and being together.

But maybe more importantly are the moments in the unstructured times. The minutes rather than the hours.

While I have absolutely no control over the upcoming life events of 2012, I do have control over who I am...how I choose to engage. (And I want to be fully engaged!)

If you were to pick a theme for the year, what would it be?

My Year in 10 Images - 2011

2011-12-31T05:00:00.000-06:00

So, I was curious what 2011 would look like if I captured it in 10 images. Here goes:

John and Bethany went to Uganda to distribute shoes for the Uganda Children's Project.

We got a puppy. Pepper joined our family in January.

I got to host the BFF's for a "weekend in Asia" which was fun both in the planning and the experiencing. The theme centered around the cool ethnic places in my neighborhood. We made bentos, explored Japanese photo sticker booths and took a private yoga class.

Chase and Bethany shared an apartment together in Lewisville. Bethany brought her puppy Mia over before she went to work at the sushi restaurant each day--which was cool because it meant we got to see her a lot.

Chase spent the summer as a counselor at Sky Ranch--and got a mohawk. Crazy kid. He worked as a bartender at Razoo's while in the last three semesters of wrapping up his communications degree.

I started doing yoga daily at 6AM which transformed my practice. I also spent the year drawing cartoons as illustrations for the blog--which was equal parts fun and challenge.

The Texas summer was one of the hottest on record and Mrs. Squirrel moved to cooler quarters at the bottom of our tree. We left gifts of almonds for her each day.

Bryn married Chase's best friend, Jason. Not only was it a great time with friends and family, but I got to hear Chase's toast and see Bethany's decor skills. We have such a cool family! (That's Jason, Bryn and my Father-in-Law in the photo)

There were losses that were difficult to process: Casey, Kevin, Toby and downsizing at my day job. Pearl's funeral was a celebration of the family she inspired and loved. It resulted in a great family reunion in Oklahoma.

Poker nights with the Knights--John's softball team who I adore--happened when there was no softball. And oddly it is the little things like that that shape your life.

We have symbology for pauses

2011-12-28T05:00:00.000-06:00

There is a musical symbol for a rest. Sentences have commas.

When it comes to pauses, we have symbology.

Why? Because rests give meaning to the content. Run on sentences are hard to understand. And music without separation is simply noise.

I think this is true in life too.

We need items on our calendar that are simply rests. And they should be as non-negotiable as they are in sentences and music.

I was wrong...

2011-12-26T08:12:00.001-06:00

I have long considered the Snuggie an object of ridicule. After all, nothing says you've given up on any hope of an active lifestyle than actually "wearing" a blanket. In fact, I had given away a few as a punch line gifts. That is until this Christmas.

John gave me one and IT IS FANTASTIC!

The Snuggie is so warm and so cozy that I don't know how I ever lived without it. And the pocket on the front? Genius.

So Snuggies of the world, I humbly apologize for the snort of derision I offered each time I saw you on television. I was wrong about you.

It's beginning to look a lot like...

2011-12-23T05:37:00.000-06:00

I love this photo that Kelsey Payne snapped of John and I at the ArtLoveMagic Christmas party. I never cease to be amazed at the joyful creativity of the artists in this group.

Kelsey made it look and feel like Christmas!

We can't do this on our own...

2011-12-21T05:00:00.000-06:00

The simple fact is that we can't do this on our own.

Our world is hurting, painful, broken. And we can't fix it by ourselves. We need a savior.

This is the promise and beauty of Christmas. That a child came into the world not only to show us how to live, but to break the curse so that we would have the freedom to do so.

It is why Jesus' words about the reason for his coming are so powerful:

He has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released,
that the blind will see,
that the oppressed will be set free,
and that the time of the Lord’s favor has come.

We could not bring peace to the world on our own. Peace has been given to us.