ASK BELOVED {A Christian Blog}

The Cycle Of Worldly Love – Is This What You Want?

2013-05-20T11:44:00.000+01:00

When I Came Across This Wall Paper, I Really Felt Sorry For Whoever – Especially Those In Christ – Will Allow His/Her Relationship To Follow This Worldly Pattern. How Can You Engage In A Relationship That Rules Out God? How Do You Think It Can Ever Succeed When You That Claim To Be “Light” Associate Yourself With Someone Obviously In The Dark?

1Cor.6:14 – “do not be yoked together with unbelievers. for what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”

A True Son/Daughter Of God Will Never

Enter A Relationship Without First Seeking To Know From God If The Relationship Will End Well – Marriage. Then You Must Be Prepared To Wait – No Matter How Long – Till He Assures You That The Relationship Is From Him And Will End In A Glorious Destiny-Fulfilling Marriage.

1Kings 22:5 – “…first seek the counsel of God”

Psalm34:10 – “…but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.”

In The Cycle Of Godly Love, Christ Is At The Center Because A Three-Fold Cord Cannot Be Broken. Here Is How It Should Look Like: Becoming Friends >> Best Of Friends >> Consent From God To Love >> Courtship{Fiancé/Fiancée} >> Marriage. Boyfriend/Girlfriend Romance And ‘Testing-The-Waters’ Is The World’s Way And Most Often Ends In Heartbreaks.

Eccl.4:12b – “a cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

This Kind Of Godly Relationship Without Heartbreaks Can Only Come To Pass When You Completely Hand Over Your Relationship To God To Assess And Confirm. Have You Committed Your Relationship To God? If You Do This, Then You Will Avoid Heartbreaks And Returning To Square One Or Zero All Over Again.

Can A Marriage Be Blessed If One Of The Partners Committed Adultery In A Previous Marriage??

2013-05-15T14:45:00.001+01:00

Dear Beloved, Can A New Marriage Still Be Blessed If At One Point One Of The Individuals Committed Adultery In A Previous Marriage? Or Will The New Marriage Be Cursed And Suffer. Example: A Husband Is Still Legally Married But Been Separated From His Wife For Over A Year. The Wife Had Moved On During The Separation And About 2 Years Into The Separation Became Pregnant By Another Man/Boyfriend.

The Husband Had Moved On To Dating Another Woman During The Separation And Lived Out Of The Home. He Stayed Married To His Wife, Because She Would Make Up Excuses About Signing Divorce Papers, And Would Always Threaten To Keep His Daughter Away From Him Over Trivial Reasons. So, He Tried To Keep The Peace By Keeping The Divorce Topic To A Minimum To The Wife, Although She Had Already Moved On With Another Man Herself. The Divorce Finally Took Place Once The Wife Began To Cooperate, After She Became Pregnant By Her Boyfriend. At That Point She Brought Signed Divorced Papers To The Husband.

All The While During The Separation The Married Man Carried A Relationship With A New Woman, And Now Him And The New Woman That Dated For 4 Years Of The Separation Are Married. Both Love God. Will This New Marriage Be Blessed, Or Will There Be Bad Karma/Punishment Because They Did Not Wait To Date, And Carried On During A "Separated But Married" Time? How Should The New Wife, Who Really Honors Marriage Proceed With Confidence In Her Marriage, When She Was Technically Wrong For Dating Her Now Husband, When He Was Still Previously Married On Paper?

ANSWER:

My Dear Sister, In Answering Your Questions, I’ll Use The Scriptures Expressly So That This Matter Will Be Objectively Addressed. First Of All In Mal.2:13-14, God Refused To Answer Their Prayers Nor Accept Their Offerings Because He Is The Witness Between Him And The Wife Of His Youth Which He Has Broken Faith With. She’s His Partner, The Wife Of His Marriage Covenant.

Going Down Further To Verses 16 Of The Same Verse, The Lord God Of Israel Himself Said “I Hate Divorce…” In The Conclusion Of That Verse, We Were Warned To Guard Our Spirit And Do Not Break Faith. So Let It Be Clear First Of All That God Hates Divorce ‘Cos He Takes The Wedding Covenant Very Seriously.

Now, Let’s Go Over To 1Cor.7:10-11 Which Said “To The Married I Give This Command(Not I But The Lord): A Wife Must Not Separate From Her Husband. But If She Does, She Must Remain Unmarried Or Else Be Reconciled To Her Husband. And A Husband Must Not Divorce His Wife”. That Word ‘Must’ Is A Very Strong Word So Even Separation As We Just Read Is A No, No.

Jesus Himself Said In Matt.19:3-10 That Moses Allowed Divorce Because Of The Hardness Of The People’s Heart But From The Beginning, It Was Not So. He Said No

Man Should Separate What The Lord Has Joined Together And The Clause For Divorce Is On The Grounds Of Marital Unfaithfulness Of Which He Has Given Us A New Heart To Forgive ALL Wrongs Done To Us; Even Adultery!

He Said In Verse 11 Of The Same Chapter That “Not Everyone Can Accept This Word, But Only Those To Whom It Has Been Given”. This May Be A Hard Teaching And Many People Even Men And Women Of God May Not Accept It But That Does Not Change The Word Of God. I Will Say It Again: Marriage Is No Child’s Play ‘Cos It’s A Covenant That God As A Witness Doesn’t Joke With!

Finally, From Issue You Shared With Us, The Husband And Wife Both Did Wrong By Having Extra Marital Affairs And Before God, That’s Adultery Which Is The 7th Commandment. The New Wife Also Did Wrong By Having An Affair With A Married Man But In All, Prayers And Genuine Repentance Will Return Them All To The Loving Hands Of Our Lord Almighty And He Will Direct Their Steps Afresh In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Don’t Settle For Just Anybody – Wait On God!

2013-05-14T13:34:00.000+01:00

What Has The Enemy{Satan} Spoken Into Your Heart That Will Make You Settle For Just Anybody Like A Common Beggar? Did He Tell You That ‘All Your Mates Are Getting Married?’ Tell Him That Your Destiny Is Different From Theirs! Did He Tell You That Your Time{Age} Is Fast Passing By? Tell Him That God Makes ALL THINGS Beautiful In Its Time – Not Yours!

Jer.29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Eccl.3:11a – “He has made everything beautiful in its time.”

If You Really Know Who You Are In Christ Jesus, You Will Never

Make The Mistake Of Choosing Any Lady Just By Thinking She’s So Hot And Sexy And You’re So Lucky To Catch Her Interest! You Will Not Accept A Proposal From Just Any Man When He’s An Ordinary Bench Warmer In The Church!

If Only You Knew The Treasure God Placed Within You, You Would Never Hurry Into Marriage And Give That Treasure/Pearl To A Pig/Swine Who Do Not Know The Worth Of Who He/She Got Married To. Am I Talking To A Bona-Fide Son/Daughter Of The Most High God? Why Can’t You Wait On The Lord For The Correct Life Partner!

Matt.7:6 – “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. if you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.”

Desperation And Settling For Crumbs Are Not For The True Children Of God ‘Cos God Is Never In A Hurry. So Whenever The Enemy Pushes The Thought Of Settling For Just Anybody In Marriage Into Your Heart, Bind That Thought And Cast It Away Telling Him That You’re Not A Beggar ‘Cos Your Father Is The King Of kings And The Lords Of lords Who’ll Present Your Partner At The Appointed Time!

Weekend Quote..

2013-05-04T10:37:00.001+01:00

How Do I Know God’s Will On Who To Marry??

2013-04-30T21:20:00.003+01:00

Dear Beloved, How Do You Really Get To Know God's Will On Whom You Are To Marry? I’m In My Second Year At The University And Want To Ask; Is There Anything Wrong Engaging Into A Relationship Leading To Marriage?

ANSWER:

In Knowing The Will Of God On Whom You Are To Marry, The First Step Is In Knowing God As Your Father; Jesus As Your Lord And Saviour; And The Holy Spirit As Your Guide And Teacher – This Means Becoming Born Again. If You’ve Not Come To This Point In Your Life, Then I’ll Advise You To Begin At This Stage.

Secondly, The Will Of God, As Shown Us In 1 Thess.1:3-5a Says “It Is God’s Will That You Should Be Sanctified: That You Should Avoid Sexual Immorality; That Each Of You Should Learn To Control His Own Body In A Way That Is Holy And Honourable, Not In Passionate Lust Like The Heathen Who Do Not Know God.” This Is First Of All, God’s Will For Your Relationship.

You Cannot Be In A

Relationship Where You Are Engaging In Pre-Marital Sex And Know God’s Will Concerning The Guy/Lady. Being Sanctified In Christ Will Now Open The Way For You In Choosing The Right Life Partner. As A Lady, When A Man Proposes To You, The First Answer You Should Give To Him Is To Give You Some Time Before Getting His Reply.

Next, Take The Matter To God In Prayers And He Will, Through His Word Or A Deep Knowing In Your Heart, Confirm The Right Person To You. In Doing This, He’s Already Directing You On Choosing Rightly. And If It Is Not The Man That Proposed To You, Please Do Not Keep Him Waiting But Kindly Explain To Him That He’s Not The One For You.

Finally, Even In Your Second Year, There’s Nothing Wrong With Engaging In A Relationship That Will Lead To Marriage But You MUST Allow God To Confirm The Guy/Lady Before Proceeding. As For Me, I’ll Advice You To At Least Get To Your Final Year Or Even Graduate Before Planning To Settle Down. Maturity Also Helps In Making Wise Decisions. Shalom.

Be Careful Of Who You Get Married To ‘Cos It Defines Your Destiny!

2013-04-29T22:37:00.001+01:00

One Of The Hells On Earth Is Marrying The Wrong Person{You Can Ask Those Sadly Lamenting In A Marriage Of Barely Two(2) Years}. Your Marriage Can Make Or Mar Your Destiny Depending On The Person You Choose To Marry.

Some People Are Fire Extinguishers Used By Our Arch Enemy{The Devil} To Put Out The Godly Fire And Zeal In The Life Of A True Believer In Christ Jesus. You Must Therefore, Be Very Careful Of Whom You’re Getting Married To ‘Cos It Will Define Your Destiny!

So Many

Brothers And Sisters That Were Full Of Godly Zeal And So Passionate For The Things Of The Lord When They Were Single Are Now Lukewarm Or Even Cold Since They Got Married – No Thanks To Their Spouses!

Do Not Allow Emotions/Feelings And Lust Confused For Love You Into The Everlasting Bondage Of Unholy Wedlock. Do Not Allow The “Wed” In Your Marriage To Disappear Leaving Only The “Lock” To Remain Because For A True Child Of God, Divorce Is Never An Option!

So Why Not Wait Till God Brings Along The Right Person Your Way So That Your Destiny Will Remain Glorious In Christ Jesus

Weekend Quote..

2013-04-19T19:55:00.002+01:00

Is It Okay To Take And Send Pictures To Your Long Distance Partner??

2013-04-18T08:31:00.002+01:00

Dear Beloved, Is It Okay To Take Pictures For Someone You Are Committed To, Especially If You Guys Are In A Long Distance Relationship And Do Not Get To See Yourselves Often? What Are The Restrictions If Any That Should Be In Place If This Is Allowed.

ANSWER:

There’s Nothing Wrong In Sending Your Pictures To Someone You’re Committed To Who’s Far From You. But It Becomes NOT OKAY When Those Pictures Arouses Sexual Desires In Your Partner. Any Guy/Lady That Asks You To Send Nude, Semi-Nude Or Scantily-Dressed Pictures Of Yourself To Him/Her Is Not Of God. The Bible Strictly Warns Us To Avoid All Appearances Of Evil And This Warning Should Be Heeded.

When It Comes To Restrictions In Relationships, I Believe Every Relationship Is Unique And As Such Should Define Their Own Boundaries Because

What Favours This Relationship Might Not Favour The Other Relationship. But One Rule That Applies To Every Godly Relationship Is That Everything Should Be Done To The Glory Of God.

The Adage That Says “Too Much Of Everything Is Bad” Will Also Apply To Every Relationship. Sending So Many Pictures Of Yourself All The Time, Having Spicy And Sexy Talks Which Arouses Your Emotions All The Time, Sending And Texting “I Love And I Miss You Messages All The Time, Etc Shifts Your Focus From God To That Person And This Is Not Good.

Self Control Is A Fruit Of The Holy Spirit And Must Be Applied To All Relationships. Serious Matters That Will Help You To Know Each Other Better, Should Be Discussed. Never Do Something You’re Not So Comfortable With All In The Name Of Love. Speak Up And Tell The Other Person That What He Wants You To Be Doing Most Of The Time Is Not Okay With You And If He Really Loves You, He’ll Respect Your Feelings. #ApplyGodlyWisdom#

Is There A Problem In Meeting Your Spouse On Facebook??

2013-04-16T16:23:00.000+01:00

Dearly Beloved, I Met A Guy On Facebook ‘Cos We Happen To Have Hundreds Of Mutual Friends Including My Siblings Whom He Went To Same School With. It All Started When We Started Liking Each Other's Comments On Other People's Walls. This Continued For About Two(2) Years But None Us Was Bold Enough To Say Hello Or Add Each Other As Friends. Finally He Sent Me A Message To My Inbox. We Added Each Other And Started Talking Everyday And Now We Are Both In Love. The Good Thing I Like About Him Is That He Is Also Born Again & We Are Both Celibate. He Said He Is Only Into A Relationship Heading To Marriage So I Pray Every Day That It Works Out Fine ‘Cos I Really Like Him A Lot. But Here Comes My Problem, We Still Haven't Met ‘Cos I Am Thousands Of Miles Away From Him So I Don't Know How He Is Like In Person & This Gets Me Very Nervous. So, Please I Need To Know, Is There A Problem In Meeting Your Spouse On Facebook?

ANSWER:

My Dear, There’s Really No Problem In Meeting Your Spouse On Facebook Or Any Social Media On The Net. I Say This Because God Cannot Be Limited – He Can Use Any Medium To Being Two People Together. Actually, My Elder Sister Has Been Married For Four(4) Years Now And She Met Her Husband On One Of The Social Networks And By God’s Grace, They’re Both Happy And Enjoying Their Marriage.

Their Relationship Was Equally A Long-Distance One Like Yours But Before She Ever Committed To Her Husband, She Insisted That He Must

Pay Her A Visit(Take Note: Not You Doing The Visiting). He Did, They Discussed At Length Before They Both Committed To The Relationship. So, I’ll Advice You To Do The Same By Asking Him To Come Down And See You.

But Before Doing So, Pray And Seek God’s Face About The Relationship. That He’s A Born Again Christian Does Not Mean He’s God’s Choice Of A Husband For You And Also, People Can Claim A Lot But Actually Seeing And Knowing Them Reveals More Than They Say. Above All, Ask God To Reveal His True Person And Nature To You.

Finally, As He Visits You, Make Sure You Work Out The Modalities Of The Relationship Because Distance Relationship Requires Harder Work And Attention To Make It Work. In All, Commit Everything To God’s Hand And I Pray He’ll Work Everything Out For Your Own Good ‘Cos That’s His Plan For Your Life.

To Love And Be Loved In Return..

2013-04-15T14:20:00.001+01:00

Have You Ever Loved Someone Who Never Returned Your Love? Being Hurt Or Heart Broken Seems Of No Significance When Compared To The Silent Agony One Experiences Watching Who You Love Busy Loving Someone Else And Blissfully Ignorant Of Your Love.

Have You Ever Listened – With Pain In Your Heart – To The Secret Love Of Your Life Telling You About His Love For Another? Those That Has Passed Through Such Will Testify That It Is Not An Experience They Would Ever Want To Find Themselves In Again! Why You May Ask? It Simply Squeezes The Life Out Of You And It’s Also Against God’s Plan To Give You Life In Abundance.

God Never Wanted You To Experience A One-Sided Love. He Wants You To

Love And Be Loved In Return! One-Sided Love Causes You To Think You’re Inferior Or A Lesser Being But That’s A Big Lie Because You.. Yes You! Are Fearfully And Wonderfully Created By The God Almighty Himself In His Own Image{Psalm 139:14}.

One-Sided Love Begins When You Rush Ahead Of God And Fall Into The Trap Of Infatuation And Lust But When You Allow God To Bring The Right Person Your Way, The Person Will Love You For Who You Are And Not For What You Are Because The Love Of God Is Also Flowing Through Him/Her.

Unrequited Or One-Sided Love Should Never Be Found In The Life Of A Genuine Born-Again Believer In Christ Jesus Because It Is Not From God.

Decide Now To Wait For The Right Partner From God And He’ll See To It That You Will Love The Right Person And Be Fully Loved In Return Because Your Happiness Matters To Him!

FORNICATION AND PREGNANCY BEFORE MARRIAGE IS A SIN!

2013-04-08T06:18:00.002+01:00

“FIRST YOU SAID AM NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO YOU AGAIN, WHY SHOULD I? I DON’T ENJOY ANYTHING IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. FOR FOUR YEAR NOW I NEVER HAD SEX WITH YOU APART FROM THAT INCIDENT WHERE I ALMOST RAPED YOU. THIS MEANS U DON’T RESPECT MY FEELINGS, YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT MY EMOTIONS. IF YOU WANT ME TO START PAYING ATTENTION, GET ME WITH MY WEAKNESS. MY WEAKNESS IS SEX. GIVE IT TO ME. SO TO GET ME, GET PREGANANT FOR ME. IF YOU CAN DO THAT, I PROMISE NOT TO LEAVE YOU BUT TO MARRY YOU.”

Ladies In The House; Have You Ever Come Across Brothers Like The One Who Said This? Any “Brother” Or “Pastor-To-Be” Who Will Ever Utter These Words To You Is Not A Genuine Born Again Christian And You Should Run From Him! Another Man Who Will Appreciate You For Wanting To Keep Yourself Will Come For You By The Grace Of God.

Sex Without Marriage Is Fornication No Matter How We Try To Paint It And Any Guy That Says You Should Get Pregnant For Him Before He Can Marry You Is A Liar. Why Tempt God? Your Getting Pregnant Might Not Solve But Rather Compound The Problem And What Would You Now Do In This Case? Abortion? God Forbid!

[1 Pet.5:8 – “Be Self-Controlled And Alert. Your Enemy The Devil Prowls Around Like A Roaring Lion Looking For Someone To Devour.”]

What If His Family Or He Personally

Rejects You After Getting You To Commit Fornication And Becoming Pregnant For Him? Will She Now Take The Other Option Of Abortion Or Laying Curses On Him? Know Now That Curses On Him Will Not Work Because He Did Not Force You To Commit Fornication With Him. You Agreed!

Even If Him Or His Family Accepts The Pregnancy, They Can Still Refuse To Marry You. So Is It Better For You To Conceive And Raise Your Child Out Of Wedlock? Is It What God Asked You To Do? Have You Forgotten His Word In Heb.13:4 And 1Cor.6:18-20? Don’t Ever Allow Emotions And Desperation To Make A Mess Of And Wreck Your Life!

Finally, Any Man That Tries To Rape You Against Your Will Is Not A Christian Even If He Lives In The Church And Tells You He Wants To Become A Pastor. Flee All Works Of Darkness And Embrace Christ For He Alone Can Protect From Wolves In Sheep Clothing Going About As Brothers In The Lord.

#BE WISE#

Weekend Quote..

2013-04-05T08:21:00.004+01:00

What Can You Do If Your Partner Finds It Hard To Control His Emotions Around You??

2013-04-02T14:34:00.000+01:00

Dear Beloved, What If Your Partner Who You Are Convinced To Be The Will Of God Still Finds It Difficult To Control His Emotions When You Are Together Though A Christian. What Can You Do To Stop It?

ANSWER:

In As Much As I’ll Advice You To Avoid Being Together With Him Especially In Private Places, One Question I Need To Ask Is This; A Man That Finds It Hard To Control His Sexual Emotions Around You Will Also Find It Hard To Control His Emotions Around Other Ladies; So How Do You Plan To Put His Sexual Emotions In Check?

If It Is About You, I Can Easily Advice You On How To Control Your Sexual Emotions With The Help Of

The Holy Spirit Of Course, But This Is About Your Partner And Even When You Help Him Control His Emotions When You’re With Him, Who Would Help Him When You’re Not There? Being Just A Christian Is Not Enough; He Needs To Become Born Again In Christ Jesus.

When We Become Born Again, The Change Occurs In Our Spirit But We Also Have To Work On Our Mind Which Influences Our Bodies And That Is Why We Are Told In Rom.12:1b To Present Our Bodies As A Living Sacrifice, Holy And Acceptable To God, Which Is Our Reasonable Service. When We Do This, We Honour God With Our Bodies.

It Goes Further To Say In Verse 2 That We Should Not Conform To This World’s Standard But Rather Be Transformed By The RENEWAL OF OUR MINDS So As To Prove What Is That Good, Acceptable, And Perfect Will Of God. As Born Again Christians, We Must Make Sure To Do Away With All Fleshy Desires That War Within Us And Put On Christ Jesus Because We’re Dead To Sin And His Spirit Is Alive In Us.

Finally, On Your Part, Avoid Visiting Him Alone In His House If He Has A Place Of His Own. Do Not Sit Close To Him On A Chair If He Has A Tendency To Touch Or Caress You Whenever You’re Close To Him. Avoid Conversations That Arouses His Sexual Needs Rather Let Phil. 4:8 Be Your Watch Word. But Above All, Let Him Not Just Be A Christian But A Genuine Born Again Believer In Christ Jesus. Shalom

Do Not Waste Your Love..

2013-04-01T11:24:00.002+01:00

Do You Know That It’s Very Possible To Waste Your Love On The Wrong Partner? That You Spent Three(3) Or Five(5) Years In A Relationship Does Not Make It Marriage-Worthy If You’re With The Wrong Partner. It Means You Just Wasted Priceless Years Of Your Precious Life..

**Why Go Naked By Over-Exposing Your Breasts, Buttocks, Thighs, Fixing Artificial Eye-Lashes And Everything Fixable Just Because You’re Hoping Against Hope That You’ll Get Him/Her To Approve Of You?

**Why Lavish Your

Love And Expose Your Heart To The Wrong Person Who’ll End Up Trashing Or Breaking Your Heart Without A Second Thought?

**Why Waste Your Energy Servicing A Relationship – That You Know Deep Within Your Heart Will Not Last – Just Because You’re Desperate To Get Married?

**Why Waste Your Money Buying Heaven And Earth For Someone Who Does Not Give You A Second Thought And Forgets You Once You’re Gone Just Because He/She Is Physically Attractive?

**Why Labour In Vain By Cooking And Washing For A Man Who’ll Carry Another Lady Immediately You Leave His House ‘Cos He Really Has No Plans Of Marrying You?

When The Right Person Comes Into Your Life, Surely You Will Know It Except You’re Not In Christ Jesus. Better Wait On God To Give You The Right Person To Shower And Lavish Your Love Upon Than Suffering Avoidable Heartbreaks.

##PLEASE BE WISE!!

HE IS RISEN!! HAPPY EASTER!!!

2013-03-31T13:48:00.004+01:00

HE IS RISEN!!!

Thankful As We Are For The Empty Tomb, That Should Not Be The Only Thing That Convinces Us Jesus Is Alive..

The Greatest Evidence Is That He Is Alive Within Our Hearts – And For That We Ought To Be Eternally Thankful..

Happy Easter To You All..

He Died For You... Will You Live For Him??

2013-03-29T07:53:00.001+01:00

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I Have Never Been Into A Relationship. Is Anything Wrong With Me?

2013-03-28T20:39:00.003+01:00

Dear Beloved, I’m A Lady In My Final Year And Have Never Been Into Any Relationship Though People (Friends And Families) Are Asking Questions. I Don't Feel The Need For One At Least Not Now. Do You Think Something Is Wrong With Me?

ANSWER:

My Dear, Knowing Your Age Would Have Been Of Great Help In Knowing If Something Maybe Wrong With You Or Not. Most People In Their Final Year And Fresh Graduates From The University – Especially If They’re Still Very Young – Ought To Build Their Lives FIRST Before Engaging In Relationships That Will Lead To Marriage.

So If You’re In Your Early Twenties And Don’t Feel The Need Or Desire For A Relationship, I’ll Say Nothing Is Wrong With You. If You’re In Your Mid Twenties, I’ll Be

Wondering Why You Don’t Feel Any Need For A Relationship And Might Take It To Be That You’re Just Being Cautious But If You’re In Your Late Twenties And Still Feel No Need Or Desire For A Relationship, Then Something Is Obviously Wrong Somewhere And I’ll Advice You To Really Take Out Time To Pray And Know The Cause Of The Lack Of Desire.

When I Was In My Final Year; Just Like You Do Now, I Felt No Need Or Great Desire To Fully Commit To A Relationship And Get Married ‘Cos I Felt It Was Too Stressful And I Needed My Peace And Time To Sort Out My Life But As I Advanced In Years, The Desire For The Right Relationship Built Steadily Till God In His Mercy Revealed My Husband-To-Be To Me.

So Check Yourself And Make Sure That There’s No Psychological Aversion To Men That Causes The Lack Of Desire For A Relationship And If There’s None, Then Pray About It. When You Pray And God Tells You To Wait, Then Just Relax And Wait On Him And At The Right Time, He’ll Put The Desire In You And Also Reveal Your Husband-To-Be To You.

My Boyfriend’s ‘Ex’ Is A Thorn In My Flesh. What Do I Do??

2013-03-26T15:06:00.003+01:00

Dear Beloved, I’ve Dated My Boyfriend For 1&1/2 Years Now But Something Recently Happened And It’s Really Affecting Our Relationship. We’re From The Same Church Though I Joined Them 4 Years Ago – Was From Another Branch. Now, Like 5 Months Ago, His Girlfriend Appeared And Joined Back The Church. She Is From The Church But After Dating Him For 6 Months, They Broke Up(The Lady Did)She Left Him Because He Didn’t Have Money And She Left The Church Too, Went Out There And Started Some Other Relationship.

She Even Was Dating A Married Man(That’s What We Gathered). Now, She Has Come Back To Church And Claims She’s Now Serious And Wants To Stick To The Church. The Problem Now Is That She Wants My Boyfriend(Who Was Her Ex) Back And She’s Doing Everything Possible To Hurt Me. My Boyfriend Decided To Tell Her To Step Back Because What They Had Is Over And He’s Dating Someone Else. He Asked Her To Respect That But She Is Still Insisting.

What’s Bothering Me Is That She Is Now Calling Him Frequently And Want To Kip In Touch. I’ve Asked My Boyfriend Not To Communicate With Her But He’s Saying That He Can’t Just Ignore Her To The Extent Of Not Picking Her Calls. He’s Saying That Because They’re Just Talking General Things, That It’s Not Reason Enough To Ask Her Not To Call And Also Because Of Church ‘Cos He Has An Image To Protect. He Thinks That If He Ignores Ha, She Will Step Out Of Church And He Doesn’t Want To Be The Reason.

Now I’m Fearing That The Lady Will Insist On Calling Him, Because She Wants To Be Around Him In Church. My Boyfriend Is Trying To Avoid Her But She’s Still Persistent. She Has Even Started Doing Things That Are Hurting Me 2 Show Me That She Was The Ex Girlfriend. My Boyfriend Says That I Should Understand And That There’s No Way He Can Turn Back To The Past More So Because She Left Him. So What Should I Do In Order For Them To Stop Communicating At All Because That’s What I Feel Should Happen?

ANSWER:

Hi Dear, I Understand Your Plight But I Have To Ask You Some Questions First Before Advising You On What To Do. Is God In Support Of Your Relationship? Has He Given His Consent? Is He Just Your Boyfriend Or A Man That Wants To Get Married To You(Your Fiancée)? If He's Your Fiancée And You Both Attend The Same Church, Does Your Pastor Know About Your Courtship/Engagement? Are His Parents And Yours Aware Of The Engagement?

If Your Answer To These Questions Are NO And NOT YET Or NOT SURE, Then I Will Say That

This Might Be The Reason You're Not Settled In Your Heart About His Love For You And It Also Shows A Lack Of Trust In Your Boyfriend Because From Your Writings, You Keep Thinking His Former Girlfriend Will Snatch Him Away From You.

In A Godly Relationship/Courtship, Trust Is The Backbone Of That Relationship Because You Are Not First Responsible To Each Other But To God. And As Such, Each Of You Should Be Striving To Live A Life That Pleases God And That Includes Your Relationship. A Heart That Panics A Lot As Yours Is Doing Concerning The Fear Of Your Boyfriend Going Back To His Former Girlfriend Shows A Heart That Is Not Fully Grounded/Secured In God.

If He Leaves You For His Past Girlfriend, Then He Didn't Deserve You In The First Place. This Issue Is His To Handle Like A Man But If He Refuses To Take A Stand And Politely Asks His Former Girlfriend To Stop Disturbing Him, Then Maybe He’s Not Man Enough For You. Please Don’t Go Fighting Over Him Or Lose Your Peace Over The Matter Because Christ Ought To Be Your Peace.

As For His Former Girlfriend, Don't Worry About Her Because If God Has Approved Your Relationship, Then He Will Surely Remove That Girl From Both Your Lives. There's Freedom In Love So Don't Try To Stifle Your Boyfriend By Suspecting All He Does. Rather Allow God To Handle Everything In His Own Way And Believe That God Will Work It Out For Your Own Good Whatever Happens.

When You Have To Say No..

2013-03-25T13:02:00.000+01:00

Do You Agree To Everything Your Partner Asks Of You In Your Relationship All In The Name Of Love? Love Is Wise And Not Stupid; It Sees Clearly And Not Blind. There Are Times When Saying No Is Absolutely Necessary Especially If You’re In An Ungodly Relationship.

**If You’re Truly Born Again, Then You Must SAY NO To Premarital Sex No Matter The Excuse Or Reason Given For It.

**You Must SAY NO To Having An

Abortion For Him ‘Cos You’ve Made The First Mistake And You Don’t Have To Compound Your Sin By Making Another.

**You Must Say No To Invitations To Go Clubbing ‘Cos No Worldly Music No Matter How Sweet They May Sound Glorifies God And Neither Is A Place Filled With Over-Exposed Breasts And Buttocks; Cigarette Smokes And Alcohol.

**You Must SAY NO To Romancing, Kissing And Caressing Of The Body With The Excuse That It’s Not Bad To Have Just A Feel Of It{If Anyone Wants A Feel Of It, Then Let Him/Her Be Ready To Say ‘I DO’ First Of All}.

**You Must SAY NO To Performing The Duties Of A Wife – Washing Clothes, Cleaning The House & Cooking For Him And His Friends – And Performing The Duties Of A Husband – Buying Pants, Braziers And Recharging Her Phone All The Time – When You’re Still Single.

**And Finally, You Must SAY NO TO Being In A Relationship With An Unbeliever Who Just Warms The Bench In The Church Every Sunday Because It Is Far Better And Profitable To Be Single Than Being In A Wrong Relationship

Weekend Quote..

2013-03-22T06:50:00.000+01:00

What Are The Benefits Of A Christian Relationship??

2013-03-21T20:17:00.000+01:00

Dear Beloved, Is It Wrong To Tell A Girl That You Love Her? Secondly, Is It Wrong To Go Into A Relationship With A Girl That Is Older Than You And Lastly, What Are The Benefits Of A Christian Relationship?

ANSWER:

To Answer Your First Question, It Is Not Wrong To Tell A Lady That You Love Her Because God Is Love And He Instructs Us To Love Our Neighbours As Ourselves. But If You’re Talking About Sexual Love, Then It Is Very Wrong. Ladies Have Tender Hearts So You Should Be Mindful Of The Kind Of Words You Speak To Them. Your Words Should Always Edify.

For Your Second Question, It Is Not Wrong To Go Into A Relationship With A Lady That Is Older Than You As Far As You’re Very Sure You’re Working Under

God’s Instruction And Not After The Lady’s Bank Account. True Love From God Does Not Know Age So The Issue Of Age In Having A Godly Relationship Should Not Be A Cause For Worry.

Finally, For Your Third And Last Question, Some Of The Benefits Of A ‘TRUE’ Christian Relationship Are; (A) Both Parties In That Relationship Have God Solidly Behind Them Therefore The Fear Of Cheating On Each Other Is Firmly Eliminated. (B) Both Parties Are Free From The Fear Of Contacting Sexually Transmitted Diseases Or Unwanted Pregnancies ‘Cos They Don’t Engage In Pre-Marital Sex.

(C) In A ‘True’ Christian Relationship, Beatings, Abuses And Fights Are Greatly Reduced ‘Cos Both Parties Are Seeking To Please God First Of All And Do Everything That Glorifies His Name. (D) Selfishness, Bitterness, Envy, Keeping Record Of Sins, Etc Cannot Be Found In A True Christian Relationship.

Some Scriptural Verses For Old And Young Couples..

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Dear Beloved, Can I Please Ask For Some Bible Verses That Suits Couples; Newly And Old Couples.

ANSWER:

Here Are Some Scriptural Verses For Both Old And Young Couples:

Gen. 2:24&25 – “For This Reason, A Man Will Leave His Father And Mother And Be United To His Wife, And They Will Become One Flesh. The Man And His Wife Were Both Naked, And They Felt No Shame.” This Means That A Man Should Never Make The Mistake Of Putting His Parents – Especially His Mother – Above His Wife And Both Couples Should Not Keep Any Secrets From Each Other.

Amos 3:3 – “Do Two Walk Together Unless They Have Agreed To Do So?” This Means That Both Couples Must Strive To Agree On Most Issues So As To Avoid Unnecessary Arguments And Quarrels.

Malachi 2:16a – “I Hate Divorce, Says The Lord God Of Israel...” This Means That Both Couples Must Remove Any

Thought Of Separation Or Divorce From Their Minds. They Must Seek To Resolve All Issues Amicably.

1 Cor.7:3&4 – “The Husband Should Fulfill His Marital Duty To His Wife, And Likewise The Wife To Her Husband. The Wife’s Body Does Not Belong To Her Alone But Also To Her Husband. In The Same Way, The Husband’s Body Does Not Belong To Him Alone But Also To His Wife.” This Means That For No Reason Whatsoever Should The Wife Or Husband Reject Sexual Advances From The Other Except By Mutual Consent.

Eph.4:26&27 – “In Your Anger, Do Not Sin. Do Not Let The Sun Go Down While You Are Still Angry And Do Not Give The Devil A Foothold.” This Means That In A Marriage, Issues Might Make One Or Both Of The Couples Angry But The Anger Must Never Remain Till The Next Morning ‘Cos The Devil Is Always Waiting To Strike/Attack.

Also Read Up These Ones – Eph.5:22-33, Matt.19:1-12, Mal.2:13-16, Songs Of Songs 8:6-7, 1 Cor.7:1-6,10-16,&39, 1 Tim.5:8, Prov.14:1,21:19,&31:10-31.

REAL LOV‘E’ (8)… {Not Being An egotist}..

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Being An Egotist Means Being Self-Centered And You Can Never Claim To Know What Real Love Is If You’re So Full Of Yourself. Pride Kills Any Relationship Because It Is Not Of God – He Resist The Proud But Gives Grace To The Humble. Are Your Status And Achievements In Life Swelling Your Head? Love And Self-Centeredness Can Never Go Together!

The Problem Of Overblown Ego Is Not Only For The Guys But Also For Ladies Too! My Sister, Are You Carried Away By Your

Shape, Height And Beauty Thereby Thinking That You Can Easily Have Any Man You Want? You’re So Far From Knowing What Real Love Is! Is Your Love Truly For Real?

Real Love Is Humility Personified! If Christ Did Not Consider His Equality To God As Something To Be Grasped But Made Himself Nothing, Humbling Himself As Man To Die For Our Sins, Then Who Are You To Think You’re Something When You’re Mere Dust! Remember, Your Attitude Should Be The Same As That Of Christ Jesus.

So Have You Had A Personal Encounter With The Author Of Love (God)? You Cannot Give What You Don’t Have! If You’re Not Yet Born Again But An Ordinary Church-Goer, Suspend Whatever Relationship You May Be In And Surrender Your Life To God First.

Prov.11:2 – “When Pride Comes, Then Comes Disgrace, But With Humility Comes Wisdom.”

Prov.13:10 – “Pride Only Breeds Quarrel But Wisdom Is Found In Those Who Take Advice.”

John 3:3 – “In Reply Jesus Declared, ‘I Tell You The Truth, No One Can See The Kingdom Of God Unless He Is Born Again.”

The End…

Weekend Quote..

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I Find Myself Falling Into The Same Sin Again And Again. I Need Help Please..

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Dear Beloved, I Have Had Awful Relationships. I’ve Fallen And Risen So Many Times And I’m So Tired Of Finding Myself Committing The Same Sin Again And Again. I Need Help Please.

ANSWER:

I’m Very Happy To Inform You That You Will Surely Receive Help If You Will Seek It In Christ Jesus. From Your Words, I Can Say You’ve Really Had A Hard And Sad Experience In Your Quest For True Love. But The Truth Is That True Love Can Only Be Found In Christ Jesus Because He Is Our First Love. Only When We Are Secure In God’s Love Can We Have Good Relationships.

As I Ponder On Your Committing The Same Sin Again And Again, The Words Of Apostle Paul In Romans 7:21-25a Which Says “It Happens So

Regularly That It’s Predictable. The Moment I Decide To Do Good, Sin Is There To Trip Me Up. I Truly Delight In God’s Commands, But It’s Pretty Obvious That Not All Of Me Joins In That Delight..

..Parts Of Me Covertly Rebel, And Just When I Least Expect It, They Take Charge. I’ve Tried Everything And Nothing Helps. I’m At The End Of My Rope. Is There No One Who Can Do Anything For Me? Isn’t That The Real Question? The Answer, Thank God, Is That Jesus Christ Can And Does.” Does This Sound Like The Way You Really Feel?

The Only Way Out Of That Continuous Sinful Lifestyle Is By Becoming Genuinely Born Again In Christ Jesus. Accept Him As Not Just Your Saviour But Your Lord As Well And Things Will Begin To Change For Good In Your Life Because The Holy Spirit Would Now Be In Control To Direct All Your Affairs Including Your Relationships.

Finally, When You Become A New Creation In Christ Jesus, You’ll Re-Discover Your Self-Worth In Him And Will No Longer Want To Please Every Man That Comes Your Way By Sleeping With Them Because You’ll Be Satisfied In Christ Till He Brings Your Husband For You. Shalom.