Thoughts from a regular guy...

Truth Mangled

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Sun, 02 Oct 2022 21:08:00 +0000

“ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist,” Eph.6:14

Truth…is anything being trampled on today more than truth? I listen to a doctor in an interview before Congress report that a man can have a baby…can get pregnant. He says it with a straight face…to the point I think he is even beginning to believe the lie he is telling us. I am not going to get into the weeds but let’s be clear here, truth is being trampled and buried and Paul writes to us and says put on the belt of truth…to be able to stand. And please don’t anyone give me the that is your truth but this my truth story…weak at best. As I spoke about this at church, Holy Spirit gave me the image of Jesus standing in front of Pilate, the pagan ruler. Remember Pilate’s question to Jesus, he kind of spits it out in contempt. “What is truth?” John 18:38

Stop for a moment to meditate on the scene. Jesus has already been beaten by the religious leaders…beard pulled out, spit on, bruised and bleeding, Jesus stands there and hears the words, “What is truth?” I do wonder why Jesus did not respond to Pilate right then…He could have simply said, “I am.” Truth was inches away for Pilate, covered in spittle and blood and heading to even more torture, as if that could stop truth. Jesus told HIs followers that He was the Truth, Truth is a person. He stayed quiet and let the beating go on…as I re-read the story and let it settle in I realized Holy Spirit was reminding me that this is what a fallen world does to truth. It tries to beat truth into submission, telling lies about it, distorting it, shredding it until it can be difficult to recognize it. The story goes on with Jesus going to the cross and the cry of the religious and the fallen world is to crucify truth because if truth dies we can go on living in our lies. Can you hear the nails being driven into truth? The groaning as the soldiers lift the post up to drop into a hole, jarring bones and tearing flesh. You can almost hear the father of lies gloating that finally he has killed truth.

The stone rolled over the cover of the tomb…truth has died. But has it? The evil one did not understand eternal life or resurrection, he had no space for truth. And truth rises to overcome evil…the season we live in culture believes it is killing truth again. Angry voices still cry out to crucify truth…and Paul says to strap truth on as a belt so that in these days we can stand…we do not fight flesh and blood…never, but we stand against the one who lies and when he lies he is speaking his native tongue.

The images of Jesus before the Sanhedrin and Pilate are brutal images and yet I cannot take my eyes off them. I can get a little disheartened as I listen to fallen culture rage but then I remember this…yes truth is bloodied and yes it can seem like truth is being overcome by lies…but Truth is a person who so loved this world that He died for it. The same world that was ugly enough to crucify a sinless man, the same world that has lost its bearing concerning truth…is the same world He died for…Truth lives and because He lives…I can face tomorrow. Jesus prayed for us like this; Sanctify them by[a] the truth; your word is truth. John 17:17 I cannot shake the images of Truth being crucified and beaten…I don’t want to…

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Fri, 10 Dec 2021 19:57:00 +0000

Mike Yaconelli in his classic book(I think it is a classic) “Dangerous Wonder” briefly touches upon savoring a moment with God. I am sure others have used it also but it struck me deeply...I suspect because we might speak of savoring the taste of a food. Savoring takes time...and to be honest I can eat a meal quite quickly...and rarely take time to savor the taste of a meal. “Was the steak good?’ I will be asked. I might pause say, “I think so. It went down easily.”

I love worship and I love being in His presence and have learned to wait on the Lord in those moments to see what might be next or what Holy Spirit wants to do. But that right there is part of the problem I think. Do you see it? What’s next? What are we doing now? Isn’t that the point of worship and His presence? Not really...what if the point is simply He wants to be with us? Isn’t that the Christmas promise? God with us! Yaconelli says, “Savoring takes time. Savoring requires our full attention. Savoring utilizes all of us.”* Understand he is not speaking about worship in general but he is exposing how we have lost the art cherishing, appreciating, relishing God.

How do I close my mind off to the thoughts racing in my mind to figure out where we are going next to simply savor the moment? Mike tells the story of a dad putting his four year old daughter to bed. In typical fashion there was one more drink of water needed, one more trip to the bathroom, one more story to be heard and finally the dad told the little girl to go to sleep. He went down the hall to his study and was reading or working on something when all of the sudden he knew she was at the door way staring at him...you know how that works. He turned and sure enough there she was. A bit frustrated and a little angry he asked her, “What do you want me to do?” She moved closer and grabbed his arm and said, “Nothing, Daddy, I just want to be close to you.” In our busy, always in a hurry lives can you hear the whisper of God right there? We are being diligent to wait on the Lord, but there is some impatience in us because we have stuff to do...and think He has stuff for us to do. So maybe we finally just ask Him, “What is it you want me to do? I am waiting.” Quietly He overlooks our attitude and says, “Nothing...I just to be close to you.”*

As I think about holding my son or daughter when they were infants never once did I think things like, “I cannot wait until you can mow the lawn.” I cannot wait until you can feed yourself or drive yourself.” I only wanted to hold them, to enjoy them and to be close to them. And I can say this with all out transparency that if I had the chance to do it over again I would do a better job at savoring each moment I had with them.

Savor...I need to think upon this word a bit more...it will not be written in many leadership models unless it is about savoring the wins....successes. Definitely not an aggressive word is it? But it is a word that reminds us to slow down and enjoy God...cherish each moment with Him...each word from Him. Sadly much of the Church has lost the thought of cherishing Him. To appreciate Him. To soak Him in...

Bill

Pg. 87

Pg. 82

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Wed, 26 Feb 2020 17:27:00 +0000

Over the past week end I began thinking about an event in my youth, probably about my 6th grade year…maybe 7th. We had music class and we were all in the class and the teacher had each of us come up and sing a part. After we finished she called me over and requested that I come to a high school choir practice to sit in with some of the older guys. I did. There was not much explanation but I sat next to a fellow who I believe was a senior. Pretty intimidating really but he was kind and had an incredible booming voice. In fact later on he went into local TV work, some behind the scenes work and some in front of the camera. Anyway we did that one time…then nothing else. I do not remember her saying that I had a good voice or even that I had potential and nothing more came of it. In high school I was involved in sports and choir seemed like not a guy things to do. More importantly to me…no one asked. If there was something there I wondered why not be a little more persistent to get me to join? I loved and still love music.

So for years I figured this was not a talent I had and I listened to others and dreamed a bit. Barb and I married and I was introduced to church music, not choirs at first but a lot of hymns and blue grass gospel singing. We eventually moved to a little larger Baptist church and they had a choir…it was an awful choir but still a choir. I was also introduced to special music, you know the lead up to the the message but a soloist usually. We had some special music in our prior church but it was more of a, “Does anyone have a song to share?” This was more planned out. Then they hired a choir director at the new church. Immediately the choir improved. It was not great but much better and Barb and I joined. Now Barb was a natural and and a great asset to any choir. She had sung in high school choirs and trios in church. I have never heard her sing off key or miss a note…she will make up her own words on occasion;) So I was now singing in a choir…and really enjoying it. No one ever said I could sing or that I had a nice voice but they said I could sing in the choir. Then the director began a young married musical group made up of couples and we tried out…and made it. Again I rode Barb’s ability to get in but we were in. Then a men’s quartet made up of 5 or 6 guys…yep that is right a quartet…math was not his strong suit. One song they gave us to learn he passed out solos to be sung and I got one. First time ever…I began by singing timidly and quietly which really is not singing at all. I have heard it said that singing is controlled yelling…yelling on key I guess. So at one rehearsal I just decided to let it rip, sing like it sounded on the tape. When my time came I let it fly, sang with all my might and heart and it actually went well. The piano player almost fell off her stool as I sang, the timidity was gone and I was determined it was now or never. If it was bad…I would be out but if not, I as going to enjoy myself. I did.

That choir director in a short time got more out of me than anyone ever before. He left a little while later and I even led the choir for a while, me a guy who could not read music, who did not know 4/4 time form 3/4 time. It was fun. Barb and I sang in a trio for a while with another friend and we had such fun. In my head we were going to be the next Bill Gaither Trio but that did not happen. Eventually we discovered worship. Not song singing…worship. We joined a growing charismatic church in town and fell in love with worshiping God in powerful way. The pastor had our worship leader train me to lead worship and I was over the moon excited. He did not really train me, to be honest. He was such a great musician and had such a great ear for music he had a hard time relating to a person who did not hear quite as well as he did, and I was not musically inclined. I again began leading timidly and it was OK at best. I could sense the pastor was thinking that this was not working and it really was not. So again one evening I decided that if this was going to work I had to go all in. Pretend to be confident even if I was not, sing with clarity and boldness so others could follow. Worship above all…worship the way I loved to worship. Boom, it happened!

That church went through a lot of stuff and eventually closed and that story in itself is a strange one. But later on I had coffee with the pastor and I thanked him for taking a risk on me, to seeing something and putting me in a place to go for it. I never really had the chance to thank our old choir director but I hope one day I will be able to. I do think I reached out to him on social media one time to think him but never heard anything back.

A teacher sensed something, I think, but never really followed up. Maybe it is all about God’s timing. Discovering I had a voice changed so many things for me. Developing my voice was fun. I knew I was limited in my ability and yet once I found my voice I could not longer sit back and watch. Most importantly, finding my voice pushed me to discover worship. Worship took me to deeper places…leading worship trained me to lead in general. Moving people from one spot to another place is what worship leaders do. Song leaders my pick a few favorites to sing and that is fine but a worship leader takes you on a journey.

Anyway, I wondered why I even focused on this memory. It was not that exciting or even disappointing, just a thought from a time past. In the past I probably would have gotten sad or even angry at the reacher for not doing more for me, kind of play the victim card a little bit. It does feel like I was overlooked by her or not valued enough to pursue more. So what…the real story here is how God used others to bring me to a place to discover a gift I loved. He placed me in places to expand and to use the gift. I do not think I would be doing what I am doing right now as a pastor if this part of my life had not been unearthed and brought to daylight. I knew I had a lid musically as I watched other worship leaders lead. I was not instrumentally gifted though I did learn to play guitar enough to lead in our Vineyard context. And that put me in the place to say yes to Jesus when the call to plant was in my lap. I led worship at the church plant because that was my comfort place and had to grow in other things like preaching.

Why do I even share this story? I think because, especially in leadership, what we do is to dig for the jewels all around us. To hunt for and discover all the Bill’s that might be lurking around waiting for someone to notice what is buried inside of them. Some of it might not even be buried…we seem to be in a season where we are seeing the gifts of some young teenagers and it is up to us to help them develop the gifts that will be used down the road. We tend to look for the more seasoned adult and then we wonder why the percentage of young people who leave the Church as they graduate high school is so high. We overlook them but the world does not…we wait for them to grow up and then it is too late. Ok…that was a bit of a trail. I do wonder why the teacher gave up…but I am grateful for those who took a chance. As I finish up here I remembered this also…The Vineyard took a chance on me years ago when they told us to go ahead and plant a church. I have spoken to the overseers we had back then numerous times to thank them for the risk they took. I did not see what they saw…I was an average worship leader who had a few people say that they would like to see us lead a new Vineyard Church. I was not classically trained scholastically, I was a life long factory worker who loved Jesus and served in every known capacity of church life. No one…no one ever looked at me and said, “You should plant a church.” Only a few thought that being a pastor was a good idea for me…and I was not one of them. Honestly one choir director unearthed something buried deeply, another leader introduced me to worship and leading worship. The Vineyard grew that in me until one day…I said yes to being a pastor…a reluctant yes but a yes nevertheless…I again began leading timidly and grew into it. Thank you Dan Larramore, wherever you are. Thank you Tom Polker. Thank you Rich Nathan and Danny Meyer…this oft overlooked fellow thanks you for not overlooking…for seeing only what God could see…

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Fri, 01 Nov 2019 15:25:00 +0000

Whoosh! That is me blowing the dust off this blog. As a leader and one that seems to operate from a different leadership grid I am so surprised at the places and situations God has put me in. I am stunned when someone talks to me about the leadership I carry and how they see the gift in me. I have laughed on many occasions about how I took the George Barna test on leadership online and how he gently told me that I did not have that gift…a shepherd maybe…leader no. As I think about myself and my journey I have a couple of thoughts…I never sought to be a leader…at all. My strongest gift. I think, is showing up…putting one foot one front of the other and continuing on following Jesus…loving His Church.

I came into being a pastor kind of different. I had been in a church plant that was led by a young guy. We were there to support and help build the church from the ground up. I had no desire to go beyond leading worship and a small group…and after five years this young leader changed his theology drastically. Went from a charismatic bent to a full on cessationist in a short time. Caught off guard we suggested he speak to the leaders over him to see what they thought. He could not lead in the Vineyard and hold to those values…so he pulled the church out. This is a much longer story but we, with the blessing of the Vineyard, planted our church…with fifteen or so people we began again. My point in telling that story is say I understand when leaders, especially young leaders, change their minds on theology. I get it…and yet I do not.

As I look over the landscape of the church, at least in the states, there is a constant stream of articles that get passed around talking about another leader leaving the faith. Pastors, ministry leaders, worship leaders, authors of best sellers, leaving behind Jesus and His church. I read this article about another one and he spoke about his journey towards unbelief and he said something like, “I began to wonder if the Bible had gotten it wrong about the LGBTQ questions.” You know I can almost get my head wrapped around a guy going from charismatic to non-charismatic but to ponder out loud does the Bible have this or that wrong is beyond me. No one ever seems to ask, “Do you think the culture has gotten this wrong?” No…it is a Bible problem. I am reminded of a sermon Jesus preaches in John 6 and it is gross and controversial and then Jesus turns to His disciples, “Does this offend you?” That is the problem isn’t it…the person is offended because the scripture speaks to a different view of holiness and spirituality than they are comfortable with. How may times do you hear the question, “How could a loving God send anyone to Hell?” He does not send anyone there…it is a choice. Hell was created for Satan and his followers…well, now I did it I brought up the devil. How archaic is that?

Jesus knew the message He brought and the things He would declare would be offensive and even divisive and He still pressed on. John 3:16 is quoted over and over and yet God is rarely seen as loving because His view is much different than our view. For a short time I wrote for an online religious paper. I was consistently being challenged and argued with as I wrote things concerning the church and scriptures. And at least one of the arguers was a pastor…who help low value of the scriptures. Now I will be very transparent here…I am not a great theologian or even a Bible scholar…I love Jesus, His church, His word. I have had many doubts and questions, many times where I just did not understand what God was or was not doing and yet it never crossed my mind to think, “What is the Bible got this part wrong?” It is so strange and even humorous to think in this time of such great enlightenment and wisdom we still stumble for satan’s oldest line, “Did God really say?” Then, because we are so biblically illiterate we misquote scripture or overlook it because culture says we cannot say, “The Bible says.” YES WE CAN!

The great cultural architects of the day do not know which bathroom to use, what sex they are, how many sexes there are, when life actually begins. They label certain lives not worthy of having life, defend the rights of one human but not of another. A mom can begin at the age of three to tell her little boy he is really a girl. By age seven she can begin the procedure to have his sex changed. The dad speaks up and a jury votes eleven out of twelve that she is right and dad has no say. A judge did intervene but where do you even find a jury where eleven people would think it is a good idea to let the mom have her way here? I would hazard to say that just a few years ago the mom would have lost custody, would have had to go though psych evaluations and only allowed visitation with a guardian in the room. Culture has lost its mind…and the church will lose its also if we keep pandering to culture.

Pastor/author Erwin McManus says, “The church does not exist for us. We are the church, and we exist for the world.” We exist to be an alternative to what is being presented out there as wisdom and life. An alternative…it will be offensive at times. We do not have to work at being offensive it is built into our message. When Jesus declares that He is the way, the truth and the life and the only way to the Father…that is offensive to culture…and now to some in the church. Strange. In a faith where as we read about the disciples we tend to overlook that as far as we can tell only John might have died of natural causes…and they did try to boil him in oil! Culture killed everyone of them…after of course they killed Jesus.

Another story in John…after the crucifixion the guys were huddled in a room…afraid. Jesus walks in, through locked doors and all of that and then says to them, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” John 20:21 Now let’s be clear here…they did not find comfort in any of His words there. “PEACE!!!! They just killed you! I mean I know you are alive now but you were dead there for a bit…let’s talk about that…but let’s do it somewhere else!” Jesus had prayed for the guys earlier and in His prayer He did not ask God to get us out of here…but to protect us while we are here. In the Jesus movement it was a big thing to speak of the second coming of Jesus and to think that it as imminent…a bit of escapism I think. He is coming back…yet He left us here. Salt and light…salt preserves…salt give flavor…light allows others to see through a darkness that covers the world.

Let me stop this ramble with this…the Psalmist writes, “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet

and a light for my path. Psalm 119:105 The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy…so often it begins with attacking God’s word…he steals the light that lights up the path we walk on. I feel for the guy who let culture put out the light of his path. I do pray he comes back…though I suspect his new found celebrity identity will be hard to leave…One more thought…cannot help it in light of current events…I am not one to jump on celebrity band wagons but I must say…along with Kanye West…JESUS IS KING!!!!

Bill

Vision is Limited

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Tue, 03 Jul 2018 19:44:00 +0000

Recently Barb and I took a few days and got away on the motorcycle for our anniversary. We knew of a quaint inn in south east Ohio that sets right on a river next to a dam. The second day we took off for a ride even though the chance of rain was high. We rode to a town nearby and had lunch with friends and then checked the weather app and saw the chance of rain had fallen drastically so we took off for a nice ride through Hocking Hills park and beyond. Then it happened…rain. We put on rain gear and rode on trying to head towards wherever it looked like the skies were clear. Mind you we are in the country, with hills and winding roads, really winding roads, which is why we were there, to ride the hills and curvy roads…just not in the rain. So the rain kept coming and going until it mostly was raining. We began heading towards the area where the inn was located and we missed a turn or two but the GPS kept re-directing us toward our destination. It was raining pretty hard in places and we began seeing the water running alongside the road, down hill getting deeper and deeper. Missed a couple of big puddles and hit a couple of more. It was difficult for me to see to navigate our way on strange roads. Narrow roads with little space to pull off so we kept moving along with me straining to see the road in front of me. Seeing just far enough to make the turns in front of me we were not riding very fast just trying to work our way to a safe and dry place. There was a pick up truck following us in one stretch and I was very appreciative that he was giving us space yet I was aware he was there. Sometimes I think I focus too much on what is behind me rather than what is out in front.

Then it happened…as I strained to see the road in front of me all I could see was water. Maybe 10 feet away but more like less than 6 feet away water was running across the road and there was nothing I could do. I yelled to Barb to hold on and she did what she does best…yell out the name of Jesus! We hit the water…I would guess at least a foot deep, maybe more maybe less but a lot of moving water across the road. As we entered the water I kept applying the gas and holding on as the bike squirmed back and forth. I was pretty sure this would end badly…but we came out the other side and kept moving. (I would love to talk to the guy behind me to see what he saw as we splashed through the water.) A mile or so up the road I saw a large building with an awning on the left so I pulled into the gravel lot and pulled all the way up under the awning and we got off the bike. To say I was a little shaken would be an understatement and yet Barb was like, “That went pretty well didn’t it?” She told me,” I knew you could do it so I was not afraid at all…well other than asking Jesus for help loudly and He did. Jesus helped!” The rain slowed down and we finished our trip to the inn…I am not sure it even rained there! Sunlight broke through and we were safe.

This is leadership for me. I do not always see way out in front with great clarity. Fact is most of the time it seems like I am struggling to see through a foggy, wet windshield in a rain storm navigating one curve or hill at a time. Rarely do I feel like I am traveling familiar roads with wide pull off areas and run in a straight line in the sunshine. As Barb expressed her confidence in me I shake my head and tell her I was terrified we were going down. I fought every curve and intersection…nothing was easy. I wanted to pull over and call for an Uber driver to come and get me…but there were no Uber drivers where we were…no obvious ways of help. It was perseverance and steadfastness to keep pressing on even when it looked like this ride was going to end badly. It did not…it ended well with a great story to tell, an adventure that Barb says we should celebrate and not miss out on.

I get it…sometimes leadership is having all the answers and walking with extreme confidence in who you are and what you are doing. Well, sometimes leadership is pressing through a storm, even though visibility is low and there are things like huge puddles trying to take you out. You hold on and press on…sunshine is just ahead…it was not where we were at it was just ahead. We could not sit and wait for it to come to us…we had to keep pursuing it. I think there are only so many John Maxwell’s in this world and for many of us in leadership roles this thing does not come naturally. We try but it becomes mechanical and not real and then we are frustrated. The best thing I can do for those who will choose to follow me is keep getting back up and moving forward. The next morning after all of that excitement we had to climb back on the bike and ride four hours home to attend a funeral. There were no options just get back on the bike and head home…if I have one talent it is simply that…getting back on the bike and riding…not stopping when it really does seem like it would be a good idea. For some of you reading this you cannot relate to my story at all and for others you totally get it. That is why I write…for those, like myself, that find themselves in leadership roles and you feel like you don’t fit the mold. You probably don’t…have you read the Bible? God chooses the unlikely all of the time…be good with it and keep getting back up and leading…we need you.

Bill

Really? This is it?

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Thu, 05 Apr 2018 16:30:00 +0000

Whoosh! That sound is the sound of me blowing the dust off my blog…and boy is it dusty. Barb mentioned a friend of hers was reading my blog and I began to panic and try to remember what I may have written in my blog that I regret now…kidding. While my blog has been pointed at leadership issues and styles I hope to expand it a bit in the future. I did find that in part of my writing I was angry at the state of the Church and even at times angry with my own tribe. I do apologize if my anger or frustration seeped in and offended some. Having led a church now for over 20 years a reasonable person would assume leadership would be easier now. I am seasoned…and also my head and my heart have taken quite a beating. One needs to remember that the person out in front makes a great target. And if fear or injury takes over that leader it leaks to the rest of the group. Fear. It creates indecisiveness, makes one want to shrink back and it paralyzes. Quite an effective tool of the enemy.

A favorite quote of mine comes from a small book a I read a few years back titled, “Jim and Casper Go To Church.” Jim Henderson, a former pastor and Matt Casper, an atheist go on a road trip visiting about 10 churches, many of them of the mega style. Now let me say up front this book is not an in-depth study of churches and how they work, it was more like a drive through view of church. At one mega-church with lights, and cameras, big cameras and smoke machines and a lot more Matt turns to Jim and asks, “Is this really what Jesus asked you guys to do?” I have never been able to shake that question and again to be fair if we all rolled out Radio Shack sound systems and used hymnals or over heads we would be criticized also. But…what brought this question back to me is the things I see pastors have to be concerned about. The incident that caused the question come back for me was an innocent one. Our sound guy took Barb aside recently and said he would be leaving the church in June. Now before anyone goes off on him let the say that 1st off he is in love and he is engaged to a wonderful young lady and he has decided to go to church where she attends. That is not evil…it is sweet…and it seemed to crush me. Why? How did we get to the place where a young sound person can seem to make or break our church? I read the Bible and wonder why didn’t Jesus or even Paul address things like sound people, small group leaders, or musicians? Jesus spoke to hundreds and even thousands at a time…without lights or a sound person. He fed thousands without a commercial kitchen or a smoke machine.

My point here is not to criticize all the glitz or to throw my sound guy under the bus, again he has an incredible servants heart, but to unveil a bit about the things pastors and leaders concern themselves with…many times at the cost of them loving their own neighbor! I heard myself asking Jesus Himself, “Is this really what you called me to do?” Can I be real transparent with you? Only a pastor knows the feeling of having a person you love and have cared for come tell you that this is their last week at the church…on a Sunday morning. And they tell you like it is good news! You have to smile when you want to cry. You have to hug when you want to run away. You have to go preach all the while you feel like you are bleeding to death on the inside. Please hear me when I say I am not writing so someone will feel sorry for me. Don’t! I love what I do….even the crazy parts. I love the people God brings our way…all the way to the back door if need be. But I write in hopes some young guy or lady who will or is even now leading a church will know they are surrounded by other leaders who know exactly what they are going through. They actually may be kicking butt right now and they are the place to be…but what they are called to do is not wrapped up in the details of sound, musicians, heating and air or any other thing screaming for their attention. What has to sustain us is making sure we are sitting at the feet of Jesus and taking what we get in our times with Him to the people we are called to shepherd. We need to be living from His love for us, being secure knowing He loves us and that He has called us, so that every day we can love what He loves…and He loves the Church. Not the structure and the buildings…the community of believers who have called on His name.

My blog is called “Thoughts From a Regular Guy” and that is the difficult deal of being a leader, a pastor. I am not special…I do not have a secret line to the Father…I do not live in a bubble…I am not extremely gifted. I am a regular guy…who has been called…and I said yes…like thousands of other men and women. We said yes…to serving the Head of the Church, Jesus, and to loving His body, the Church. One more thing to my friends who are leading churches…when I look into the mirror I do not see Pastor Bill…I see Bill…Jesus follower Bill. The title can be taken away…but who you are in Him is eternal…live there…

Bill

Just...Small Word Large Impact

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Thu, 27 Apr 2017 16:17:00 +0000

I just sat down at a coffee shop to begin working on my sermon for the week end…well it is a Tim Horton”s but I did just get coffee. I thought maybe I would connect with my inner-hockey player and not my inner-drink cool coffee person. I will re-connect with that guy soon;) As I walked to the door I heard myself saying to myself, yes I was talking to myself is that bad? Anyway I heard myself say something like, “ I am just a guy who…” Have you had those thoughts before like, “I am just a regular guy who happens to pastor.” “I am just this way and that is how it is.” It is good for us to know who we are for sure, but when we preface it with “just” we tend to down play who we are. I do like humility but downgrading ourselves usually means we are comparing ourselves to someone else…or someone else is doing that for you, comparing you to someone else. Pastor to Pastor…worship leader to worship leader…children’s leader to children’s leader etc. Then we stand back and say that we are just not good enough…obviously. My thought as I headed to the door was “I am just a factory worker who happens to pastor.” Can I tell you something? First of all, being a factory worker was good to me, real good. Second, I have not worked in a factory for almost 20 years! 20 years ago I left the factory and became a full time pastor, though I really despise the term “full time.”

I went through a period riding my motorcycle where I began to lose confidence in my ability. It probably was not helped by Barb asking, “Have you ever ridden a bike before?” Words of encouragement for sure;) But true words, from her perspective as a passenger on the back of the bike, my wobbly stopping and starting was a bit scary I am sure. I switched motorcycles and am getting the feel back…the problem is I did form some bad habits but they are being wrinkled out. Losing confidence riding does not make it a pleasant experience for anyone, the tension you feel is real. A leader that loses confidence in their ability to lead brings comfort and confidence to no one involved. When a leader is walking around like I am, thinking, “I am just” it is not humility, so to speak, rather they have listened to other voices speak and forgot Who called them. Being compared saps the confidence away…and you become “just” another person trying to make it to the end of the day.

My thought process was stirred up a bit by a friend we are going to visit and he asked if I would talk to his staff briefly about leadership. Right…I am just…you fill in the blank. Hear me…I am no threat to be writing John Maxwell type leadership books anytime soon and yet I am a leader. My task is not to lead to the best of someone else's ability, my priority is to lead to the best of my ability…and to continue to grow in my leadership. My friend, who is a great leader, recognizes something in me that he would like shared with his staff. It won’t be better than he could do but it will be different and that is what he wants and what I or you need to embrace. It is OK if our leadership styles are different. If we stop leading because we have lost confidence or we have heard too many voices telling us what a leader really looks like, there is no leadership in the place God has put you. That void will be filled by poser voices that God has not commissioned to lead…but are filling that void with noise.

I am not “just” anything…I am a child of God…the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead lives in me. The God that called Moses, Peter, Paul and more…called me. I joke about arguing with Him about His calling…but reality is…He does the calling…it is His Church…I can hear Him say, ‘Lead Bill…lead. Share Who you know…not simply what you know.” Hmmm. I will think about that for a moment…maybe go practice riding my motorcycle and think…

Bill

Whiny but Steady!

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Thu, 06 Apr 2017 23:55:00 +0000

I never went to seminary or bible college, I did take some training from a Vineyard online school that was very good. But I wonder if at a good seminary, as the young men and women study to become pastors, are they ever told about how they will be judged or viewed, if judged seems kind of harsh. My favorite baseball team is the Detroit Tigers and for a few years we had a manager that really was one of the best in baseball. Highly respected all through major league baseball by pretty much everyone in baseball. And yet, I believe, one of the things that pushed him to retire was the constant second guessing he had to live with from local sports writers. Now mind you none of these experts had ever managed a team let alone a major league team. Most had not played baseball since junior high and yet they were so much more knowledgeable about all things baseball…at least in their own eyes. Experts just trying to help…if you are a young person thinking God may be calling you be a pastor understand this…there is always someone sitting out there wanting to help you get better. (hint of sarcasm;)

I want to get back to writing my blog again but every time I sit down to write it feels kind of whiny so I delete. Probably sounds whiny because it is…I mean I have things to say about being a pastor or even what I see in the Church but I need to communicate from a better mindset. The thought I began above came after a long, difficult conversation I had recently with a person who had began worshiping with us, had come from another Vineyard and was now proceeding to tell me what all I was doing wrong, what I needed to change to be more “effective.” The cruncher was when he repeatedly let me know the sermons we preached (mostly me) were light and ineffective. I really should be more like the guy who preached where he attended before. Now listen up…the place he came from had probably the best speaker/preacher in our whole movement. Who wouldn't want to preach like that? Anyway, like the manager of the Tigers this is part of the task of the calling we are called to. Someone, who never has been a pastor, who maybe even has not led a small group will be glad to tell you how you do not match up. And Jesus said we were to love each other…really love!

My point is this…where do you or I find our identity? Is it in the role we are called to…the title? Do we depend and need the pats on the back and the compliments on a great sermon? (it is kind of nice;) A good friend sent me this as a reminder, “You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name. John 15:16 Yesterday after I left that meeting I asked God why in the world He called me. See that is it…He called me…you. I did not seek this out…I said yes and I said it reluctantly and with much fear. In leadership you may hear on occasion, that you are not doing a very good job. Well, like any good disciple you do a heart check…you make sure you are not phoning things in…then I turn to the One who called me and remember…before He called me to do this…He called me His son. When the music fades and the titles do not matter any more…I will still be His son…find your identity in Him…not in man made measured success. We can try to make the Church run like a business…but it is His body…Jesus is the head…we are the body. So this son is going to go back to his Father and sit with Him…I might not even talk…just sit in His presence…

Bill

ramblings of as I think about life...

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Wed, 10 Feb 2016 19:18:00 +0000

I began this blog under the name “Thoughts of A Reluctant Leader” and after some feed back I changed it though it is still there somewhere. I meant it from the perspective I never sought out leadership role. And as it was thrust upon me I did not grasp it as if it were a perfect fit. Like all leaders you do have to find your own armor to put on…Saul’s will not work for you. For many of us John Maxwell’s way might not work either…you have to find your own way. As you find your way you look back to see if anyone is still following. I do think I have perfected the Jesus leadership or crowd control method. One time a friend of mine said he was coming to our church to check it out…I think I talked him out of it. Man, was Barb angry with me;) Jesus would look around and if the crowd was pretty big He might teach something difficult and then say something inviting and including like, “Let him who has ears hear.” Then shut down the meeting…how inclusive is that? Seeker sensitive? I digress.

I tend to think it is kind of arrogant for me to put out there my thoughts on leadership…and yet I know there are others out there that do get what I talk about. I do think you can lead from a position of humility, you can lead without knowing all the answers. You can lead when you are only a half step ahead…you can. My favorite prayer in scripture is Jehoshaphat praying in a desperate time of his kingship. “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you.” 2 Chronicles 20:12 I am pretty sure he prayed this out loud! The freshness of having a leader confess his weakness and depending on the Lord. What might it be like to hear one of our national leaders confess they did not know what to do…but were fixing their eyes on Jesus? For sure he would be roasted in the press… but would we rally around them knowing God would be faithful to respond to such transparency and humility? Ahhh…I can dream.

I was taking with friends yesterday from another country and they were so taken back by our U.S. model of church where we have turned to business models to run the local church. Hiring search firms to hire new staff…hiring outside the tribe we belong to for our new leaders. Like our values are not important as long as the person give a nod towards them in agreement. “Sure, I believe in that too…no I have no experience in that area but I believe it.” We want to see the test results from all the personality, IQ, gift mix, and a multitude of other tests that I am sure help but do they answer the big questions. Yes, the gift mix is awesome…how are he and God doing? Can you discover their character in a test? Passion? Because he passes our eye exam do we know they will fit in our church body? Sorry…I know I am a bit outdated…but I have seen enough over my 40 plus years of being a believer to know…the guy who passes all the tests…many times does not fit. Sorry…look around…search out the results.

Man I am wondering around a bit…I think as I turn this corner of life knowing I am racing towards the finish line I have thoughts and concerns for the Church. I am in a season where our church has shrunk a bit…transition is all around me…I feel the pain of rejection deeper than I used to. I hear all the talk of the new churches around us that are hot and happening and tend to think I am not that hot and happening leader for sure. It seems to me that every time I take a step forward and dare to be bold another bomb explodes nearby…one of my adult kids in pain…maybe both. Another marriage in the church is in trouble…another disease diagnosed. According to the books I need to walk through all of this like I am coated in teflon and things just run off because I’m the man of power for the hour. In my prayer times I cry out for relief and help…I do keep moving forward…as Rich Nathan would say, one step at a time. “Right foot, left foot. Do it again…right foot, left foot…repeat.” I know that will never sell a book or inspire someone to get on board but to be transparent that is leadership…you keep walking…one foot in front of the other.

Recently I was listening to a recording of our worship team from a Sunday morning. My daughter is now leading our worship and as I was listening to her and the team lead us in worship I was struck by one thing…I noticed she was belting out the songs. Even a brand new one she just let it rip…and I sensed the Lord saying to me, “You need to listen to her, Bill…really listen. You know all that is going on around her and yet she is leading with absolute abandonment. You need to join her in that abandonment…don’t hold back…don’t focus on the stuff going on around you. Let go…lead with abandonment. Lead with passion…lead with freedom.” Yes, I can learn from my adult children…shoot I learn from my grandkids! Some day I will venture out and talk about what a joy it is to work with your spouse and your kids…not today.

Bill

Did you know Jesus had a Plan?

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Fri, 15 Jan 2016 16:06:00 +0000

I am preparing to attend a two day prayer summit in a few days…actually helping lead it. Go figure. Sometimes when leaders get together, well anytime leaders come together, they want to know, “What is the take away?” Good question for busy men and women to ask themselves and those leading the event for sure. Now, I am not always one asking the good question or knowing the answer to the good question. I tend to think, “Let’s just see what the take away might be.” Yeah…no one will buy that tee shirt. “Let’s Just See!” Those hats and shirts will be shipped overseas somewhere or in my garage for my kids to discard of after I go home to be with Jesus. I am surrounded by other leaders, including my wife, so I don’t always have to be the “take away” explainer. Someone else will do that, thank you very much.

This morning I wrote a devotion that I sent out to our church family and on Facebook. As I began my search for the scripture to work off of I found a very familiar story in the Gospel of John that seemed pretty safe to work from. I quoted these two verses; When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward Him, He said to Philip, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat? He asked this only to test him, for He had in mind what He was going to do.” John 6:5,6 I gave some inspirational words and sent it out. But I could not shake the words and the thoughts racing through my mind. Most of you will recognize this as the beginning of the story of Jesus feeding the multitude. Great story, awesome preaching material. I can see Jesus turning to Philip with a wry smile on His face, “Hey Phil, where is the closest bakery?” Phil swallows his gum and says,”It would take us eight months of offerings to buy enough that everyone could get one bite…one bite!” End of conversation…only I love how John says, “He had in mind what He was gong to do.” Jesus! I am shocked! Now another disciple said, “I grabbed this kids lunch…some fish and bread…does this help?” What

a story!

As I pondered, or it pondered me, I am not sure the order, I could not shake the words, “He had in mind what He was going to do.” Or Andrew offering up someone else's lunch to help out the cause. A friend of mine, a young leader in the city, has this audacious vision, from the Lord, to see 500,000 people come to know the Lord in our region. That is right…500,000. Sooooo you sense the Lord saying 500k. How do you do that? As an older, mature believer in the Lord maybe I should help let him down gently. You know…George…it was probably the pizza you ate. Not sure the Lord would ever have you dream that bi…what am I saying?!?!? 500k? We tend to want to “save” people from a vision that is very large…too large. I have three words for you: Nin-e-veh! Yes, it is one word, Nineveh. 120k came to the Lord through a very reluctant evangelist. I digress. As I read John’s story today I could not shake off the words, “He had in mind what He was going to do.” When Jesus turned to Philip and asked how they could feed the people Philip’s reply really was…it is impossible Jesus…impossible. In Andrew, Jesus had someone who also thought it was impossible but had seen enough with Jesus to make a small contribution to the party.

This is ministry! When He called me to be a pastor and plant a church my first response was “No thank you…that is impossible and improbable!” Eventually I had to come to trust, “He already in mind what He was going to do.” Like Andrew I brought my meager sack lunch, and yes it probably was someone else’s and said, “Here, this is what I have.” The Message translates verse six like this, “He said this to stretch Philip’s faith. He already knew what he was going to do. Jesus was not tricking Philip…He was stretching him. I tend to respond like Philip a lot, you know, being wise in the ways of the church and all. Practical is another word you could use. With Jesus we need to be Andrew…let’s throw in with Him and see what He is doing. Being practical is not always a kingdom word or thought. The call towards Jesus is a call towards mystery as well as ministry. I don’t know how many times I have cried before the Lord,“I do not know what I am doing! Why would you call me?” Now I can see…He already had in mind what He was going to do. We can beg out…or go all in. As a leader who came to the party kind of reluctantly it has always been helpful to know the story behind the story. Yes, He always calls us beyond our gifts and abilities…and He always has in mind what He is going to do. I hear people talk about “their” ministry…I don’t have one of those…I only have His…because…here it comes…He already has in mind what He is going to do!

As we gather at the prayer summit I do wonder what the take away will be. My suspicion is we won’t know much more when we leave than when we walked through those doors. (Don’t tell anyone;) The challenge is will we be overwhelmed at the huge task of taking our region for Jesus? Or will we throw in our fish and chips and join in with what “He already has in mind to do.” I am thinking this is the bottom line of ministry…of leading…finding out what He has in mind…joining Him.

Bill

Who??? Why??? Well Why Not?

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Wed, 16 Dec 2015 00:50:00 +0000

Why a “Prayer Summit”?

We thought it might be good to give you all a little personal insight to who we, Bill and Barb Herzog, are. First off we are parents to two amazing grown up kids and grandparents to six awesome grandkids! Barb is a P.K. and being in a small church most of her Christian life she always wondered why other churches seemed to be off limits. No fellowship or working together rather mostly being protective of who they were. I, Bill, was not raised in a church environment at all yet when we married we knew there had to be more to this church thing than what we were experiencing. So one of the first things we did was help organize a youth event where we attempted to bring Methodist, Baptist and many others together for a week long revival meeting held at the local high school nearby. It was not very large but groups like Campus Crusade helped out and friends we had made in a variety churches came on board and we were hooked. We knew the Church was much better together than scattered about. God birthed His heart of unity deep inside of us.

Over the years we have cultivated many friendships with like minded men and women wanting to see God’s kingdom break in knowing His Church was the vehicle He loved. Barb directed an event called March for Jesus back in the 90’s, yes that long ago. This event was primarily a vehicle to worship Jesus in the streets and to bring His body together. At the pinnacle a reported 20,000 participated...marching in the streets, worshipping Jesus together under one banner. One thing we discovered doing March for Jesus is that the average believer had very little problem working together...many of the leaders did. It seemed odd to us that this would ever be a problem. Didn’t Jesus infer that our love for each other would speak to those around us who do not yet know Him? Didn’t He pray for our unity?

So our hearts are for the whole Church. We planted our church in 1994 not thinking we were going to be bigger or better but sensing the call of the Lord. We so relied on our friends who were already doing it, asking for help, counsel and friendship. Every Sunday after worship we take time to pray for one of the local churches around us. This has worked to remind our church family two things...we are not the only show in town and we are not alone in taking the message of Jesus to a lost and confused world. At one point, just a few years ago, we were part of some “Worship and Healing” nights held at a Lutheran church with a number of churches leading and working together. About three years ago four or five of us gathered to help some friends put an event together. We kept meeting, moving around the city, well, around northwest Ohio and asking other Pastors to join in. The group eventually put the name Merge on what we were doing because that was what we saw God doing, merging our hearts together for each other, for our city and region. We worship, pray for our cities, the local church we are meeting in, for each other and then we eat together. It has been amazing to watch leaders clear their calendars to be together. So many stories of lives touched by the prayers prayed and the relationships developed. Two summers ago we put our heads and hearts together and brought in a equipping event called Power and Love. About 25 churches supported the event and up to 800 people gathered to be encouraged and trained to go and share our faith

We now sense God moving us towards the Prayer Summit. To maybe go to another level relationally and spiritually. What might it mean for the pastors in our area to gather with no agenda other to pray and listen. Then to sit together and discuss what we heard. Don’t you think that might be pleasing to the Lord? Do we have faith that He might actually speak to us? A time of fasting, a prayer event in the city and the leaders of his Church praying together and talking….sounds like a God thing to me. Why listen to us? No real good reason...we are just two of His children that love the Church and have a strong desire to see Him lifted high in our city. Don’t let us persuade you...let Him.

Bill and Barb Herzog

Sixty-Six Reasons People are Leaving the Church! (this is going to be good;)

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Tue, 30 Dec 2014 15:07:00 +0000

Sixty-six reasons people are leaving the church today…kind of catchy isn’t it. Do I have sixty-six reasons to write down…maybe, but my ADD would kick in way before I could get to ten so let me just confess to you that I am trying to ride the wave of popularity right now. Yep…I am going to throw my hat into the ring as an expert on why people…young…old…black…white…you know, people, are leaving the Church. First off, the people leaving are obviously not Calvinist because they would know they are pre-destined to be in church…well, maybe they are pre-destined to leave. Oh, this gives me a headache. Let me start over. I am a persistent checker of all things Facebook, which may be my biggest problem, or at least does not help. I would say on the average I will see one or two posts a day where someone is posting an article on why people are leaving the church…or not worshipping…or why men hate it…or why women hate it. You get the point. The Church is a mess. I get it. I think I can help out here a little bit…not a lot but I think I have some deep insight into the problem with the church. I know who to blame here, who has screwed it up. Could it be the “seeker sensitive” church? Or the crazy “charismatics”? Maybe the traditional churches with their hymns and liturgy? The ones where the sermons are too long…or maybe where they are too short? Where they preach the real word of God, the Bible…or the guys who are nicer and use the Message?

Listen can I take a short cut here and just get it out in the open? The real reason people are leaving the church…well other than they are spoiled? The problem with the church: People. Yep, that is it. The church is full of people…if we can clear them all out the church will be a much better place. Think about it. If you have left the building it is because of a person…someone did not preach good enough, no real fellowship, the music was too loud or they sang it in too high of a key. No one said hello to me or too many people said hello, some fellow human failed you. Most likely it was the Pastor…he let you down.

So that leads me to the second problem: it is run by people, kind of similar to the first I suppose. Pastors, Reverends, Priests, Ministers, whatever you call them are first and foremost…people…human beings. I am going to blow the cover off a deep, hidden secret…we are not special because we are Pastors. Now I know this will offend some of the people in this group but get over it…you are human. Sure the church is messed up…God left it in the hands of people. I am pretty sure I am the number one reason people leave our fellowship…I could give you a litany of reasons but for my sanity I won’t. As I see it God is not the problem…so it has to be us…people…and pastors are a big part of it. If only when a person said yes to being a pastor the Spirit would swoop in and do a total make over. We could be Billy Graham, Andy Stanley, T.D Jakes, Joel Osteen all rolled into one. We would have all of John Maxwell’s leadership principles memorized and worked out, we could walk on water if need be and turn water into wine for communion. If only…He doesn’t. So let’s quit beating around the bush on why people are leaving…just come out and say it…people are leaving because of…people…humans in leadership has to be a problem. There…it is out in the open…maybe now we can see the end of the seven reason why articles. The elephant in the room has been revealed.

As a pastor I take this seriously and personally. I spent the first half of my life as a Jesus follower not as a pastor but as a participant. We served wherever needed. Later in life I responded to the call or maybe I just filled a need but I became a pastor. Funny thing is, I never wanted to be one…that was never a goal. And even funnier, God did not “fix” me when I said yes, He took me as I was. I surely was not perfect. There were much better prospects out there besides me…and we have to know that is how it is in every church. Every leader is just human…not super-human…human. With cracks and flaws. I think then as we try to make up for our flaws, if we are not careful our role becomes more important than God’s role. We are not the head of the Church, Jesus is. I am not that important…He is. When I read criticism of the Church, I do take it personal and I am offended when we try to fix it with new gadgets and ideas. The Church belongs to Jesus…it is His. I think maybe we should give it back. I think when I read the criticisms they reek of our selfishness and if we could stop for a moment and remember the Head we might see our criticism is pointed towards Him. I love the line, “I love Jesus just not the Church.” Tell me…how does that work? I try to imagine me going to Barb and saying, “ I really love your head, but the rest of you is not so good.” After I picked myself back up off the floor I could try to explain myself…or just see the idiocy of the comment. So you can take the Head…just leave the body flop around on the ground. Sounds weird to me. “If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. (now that is not very kind John) For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.”

1Jn.4:20 I will get accused of taking this out of context but read it again…John is writing to the Church…he is taking away your/our right to say, “I love Jesus just not the church.” Let me close with the words from a modern poet.

“I never understood why going to church made you a hypocrite. Because nobody goes to church because they are perfect. If you’ve got it all together, you don’t need to go. You can go jogging with all the other perfect people on Sunday morning. Every time you go to church you’re confessing again to yourself, to your family, to the people you pass on the way there, to the people who greet you there, that you don’t have it all together. And that you need their support. You need their direction. You need some accountability. You need some help.” - Rich Mullins

Obviously I have about sixty-four more reasons to point out…so maybe I will re-visit this subject again. But let me ask some of you a favor…especially if you are one who has posted the famous “Seven reason why” posts…re-post this. Maybe Charisma News will notice…or Christianity today. This could be my be break…and if you will not re-post this…then stop posting the others. It really does not help.

Bill

Ian teaches on leadership

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Fri, 12 Dec 2014 17:20:00 +0000

A while back my grandson Ian and I wrote stories together about our adventures. He would take them in to have his grade school teachers read and we got great reviews;) I am going to share a few of them on my blog and work them into some leadership thoughts. Here goes!

A long, long time ago there was a man called Papa…well that is what his grandson, Ian called him. Ian and his mom lived with Papa and grandma for a while and there was a special bond between grandpa and grandson. Now there is a special bond with all grandkids and grandparents but, I have to admit, a little more when they are under your feet, I mean roof. I am Papa…and I want to talk a little about our story…Ian and me. See we did lots of stuff together, vacations and mowing the grass and even writing some stories. I wish we had written more…see when you have a little boy or girl they do not stay little for long. They grow up and move to bigger and better things. Oh, I see him a lot but it is different…he is getting older. But we have great stories. Stories of snake catching (Ian not me), rafting down a river, fishing for flounder late at night. Lots of stories. I am sure I taught Ian a lot of things but he taught me a lot also.

Let me tell you about the fishing for flounder night…in Papa’s eyes an awful night…in Ian’s…an adventure.

One evening, in North Carolina, everyone was sitting around doing very little when all of the sudden Chris brought his big, flat boat up to the dock. He said he was going fishing for flounder and wanted to know if anyone wanted to go. Of course Ian said yes and grandma said she did but Papa, well I said no thanks. As I looked out towards the boat I saw Grandma coming back. “Aren’t you going out on the boat?” I asked. “No,” she said, “ they are going to be out way too late for me.” Well, I could see Ian still wanted to go so I grudgingly headed out to the boat. Uncle Butch and John were going and Ian was already in the boat so I thought I better go so I could be with Ian.Now looking for flounder is kind of a slow thing to do and takes a lot of patience. You go out at night in a boat with these big, bright lights that shine in the water. Flounders lay on the bottom and if you spot one you take this long spear they call a gig and you plunge it into the water and try to spear the fish. We had to point the boat towards the shore and then just drift along the shoreline with the lights shining in the water. Chris would shut the boat motor off and then start a generator on the boat to send electricity to the lights. The generator was loud and the heat from the motor was blowing right on me. Butch, John and Chris were pushing the boat along the shoreline with their long poles. Ian was up front watching everything going on. They saw crabs, cans, cups, bottles, and some fish but no flounder. John speared cups and cans but no fish. Ian then came back to where Papa was and laid down and fell asleep. The heat and the roar from the motor put him to sleep. He slept and slept. My back ached, I could not move, the hot air off the generator was blowing right on me. Finally we headed back with no fish. Hallelujah! Next, I had to carry Ian out of the boat, up the steps and into the bedroom with grandma and great-grandma. Grandma asked me how it went. I said it was awful. It was hot and it was noisy. It was boring and I never want to do it again! I was kind of cranky that she had tricked me into going. I left the room and grandma asked Ian what he thought. Ian sat up and said it was awesome. He saw crabs and he saw fish and he saw cans and bottles and he saw a stingray. It was so much fun! He loved it! It was a big adventure and in his eyes it was an amazing trip. Great-grandma and grandma laughed and laughed. It was as if Ian and I had been on two different trips but they had been on the same one…the same boat! Ian saw it through the eyes of a young adventurer and I saw it through the eyes of a bored adult. I wished I could see through Ian’s eyes because those are the same kind of eyes God Himself has. We all need to see this wonderful world through the eyes of a child filled with wonder. Jesus said we are to come as little children…and I think he means like Ian…eyes filled with wonder and awe. Filled with innocence and joy. I learned so much from being with Ian.

That story right there is filled with patience, wonder and awe. I find as I move along in life, wonder and awe can be taken from you so easily. We take the beautiful sunrises for granted or the colors of the trees in Fall. We see through eyes that have been trained not to trust anything or anyone. Loss of innocence. That is what being with Ian helped me hang on to I think…innocence…child like trust.

Leaders tend to lose their innocence pretty quickly I think…if we are not careful the disappointments of this world make us skeptics. We become cynical and view things through a dark colored lens. Hanging out with kids helps me to lose some of my cynicism…I remember the movie “50 First Dates” where everyday the girl woke up not remembering anything from her past. It was frustrating for the boyfriend but think about not having to unpack all the things we have been through to see the world the way Ian did…it was a blast. Why? His lens was not corrupted…I think a leader has to fight to keep our lenses clean of the past to enjoy each day for its own. Thanks Ian! I will never forget that trip…though I have tried;)

Bill

Friends Matter

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Wed, 22 Oct 2014 17:44:00 +0000

Well…it has been quite awhile hasn’t it? While I think things are going quite well since my parents passing it is also obvious there is still some more of the journey ahead. Anyway Barb and I just finished a 3500 mile ride to the Florida Keys and back, with stops in Charleston and the Outer Banks and more with some great friends. To be honest I wondered how I would physically fair on such a ride since I had never attempted anything that long before. We had done rides that were 250 to 350 miles in a day before and by the end it was kind of hard getting on and off the bike. We had a great time! My bike is 12 years old so I wondered how it would do…it did fine…used lots of gas towing a trailer behind it but it was cool. Our guide, Ray, did a nice job keeping the days manageable and yet making nice progress.

There were four of us riding down together from Kentucky and this made it enjoyable and challenging. We had some interesting moments as one bike would lose power going up large hills in Kentucky. Doing 75 or 80 and then all of the sudden he drops back a ways…then as we slow down to wait he would blast past us once he got it going again. (yes I did say 80 mph…our leaders idea…not mine;) Then…we hit Atlanta…at rush hour…I do not know why they call it rush hour when the traffic comes to complete halt. It was warm…very warm and one of the bikes clutch began to overheat so we pulled over in a divide in the highway…and sat and waited for the clutch to cool down. Now here is where I began to think about a few things. I know the guy whose bike it was begins to feel bad because he is holding us up…but not really…the traffic was crawling! But you do feel the pressure of being the guy whose holding things up. In this time as we waited for the bike to cool off we worked on another plan to get out of Dodge, I mean Atlanta. Danny, (I might as well use names here) took the lead with his trusty GPS and led us away from the traffic.

It was a moment when you realized you needed to slow down or even stop so you could come up with a better plan…to adjust and find a new way. I think life is like this…moments when it seems like we are going nowhere may be the times where we can make more progress by re-thinking our situation. And the guy who felt like it was his fault for us stopping then leads us through an unknown city to a better place. Maybe he was not holding us up but helping us reboot the system and move forward.

So we moved along…until Ray’s trailer began swaying wildly on the highway. We all pulled over and discovered he had a flat tire. Not good when you only have two to begin with and you do not get to carry a spare on a motorcycle. We put some air in the tire and limped to the next exit. Joe had a repair kit so we looked and found the nail and did a quick repair. I found it so comforting to not be alone on this journey. How would you react to this on your own? Ray did not even know the tire was flat…Danny got his attention. Someone else looking out for you on the road…someone else to notice you have a situation going on you were not aware of. So many want to travel this journey of life alone…not to be bothered by others. Sure where you travel with friends sometimes their breakdowns becomes your breakdowns. Their emergency stops demand you stop also…but sometimes you are the one who needs to be surrounded by others who care enough to stop with you. Even if they cannot fix it, which it ended up we could not do with Ray’s tire, you are not alone as you ponder the next step. I found it refreshing that even in the breakdowns along the way there was much laughter as well as care.

At one point I became the guy holding things up…I ran out of gas. Sigh…a half mile from a gas station…two miles from our destination that night. After a long day of riding in hot weather I run out of gas…not smart. No one said much. Ray stayed with me as Joe, Janice and Danny went ahead to the gas station. They come back with a brand new, red gas can and a gallon of gas for my bike. Of course they bungeed the red can to the back of my bike so I could be reminded of my mistake. But again much laughter and much help….traveling together…with friends. In my time of need they came through for me…no judging….a lot of teasing….my wife did have to post on Facebook my dilemma. She was hungry and I was holding up dinner:)

I always come away from our rides feeling much wiser and much more connected. I cannot imagine not having these rides to look forward to…the conversations…the laughter…the tears. All part of the package…I tend to want to be alone…to not bother anyone and maybe even not to be bothered. In this journey we are on following Jesus…we are a body…connected by our hearts to one another. Some look at the Church like it is “the” problem…its’ leaders also. I see the Church as something miraculous that only God could have imagined…and I see so many of the leaders as people like me…broken…but being put back together by Jesus. No one is claiming perfection…only healing. Like the bikes on the trip…I can over heat…be flat…run out of gas…but as long as I am traveling in a group…I can get back on the road again. The longer I journey with Jesus the more I realize I am desperate for Him…and need His Body to walk with. As a leader I don’t think we are called to walk alone or to have all the answers. I think as a leader you have to know who you are…and who your friends are…and let them speak into your blind spots…and be a source of comfort when you need comfort.

As John said in his gospel…there are many more stories that could be told but not enough room in one blog. He did say something like that right?

Bill

Thoughts while living in a fog

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Wed, 04 Jun 2014 15:57:00 +0000

A friend suggested I write about my journey in life since mom and dad’s passing. I tried…did not go so well. I think it may have helped me some, but nothing I felt was readable. I came to realize it is hard to write…think…lead when you are in a fog. Mentally. That is what it felt like…a thick fog. The kind that if you were driving your car you would feel like you might need to pull over and stop…but where? You cannot stop in the middle of the highway and you are not sure what it looks like on the side of the road. You miss the exit signs because of the fog so you keep moving along. Slowly but moving. Really wanting to get off the highway for a moment…but cannot find your way off.

Then there is the tired feeling…being exhausted…and yet you still keep moving. Sometimes the tiredness was almost physically painful…you felt like it hurt to move…so you don’t…can anyone say “couch potato”? And we don’t even watch TV! But there was an overwhelming desire…to not move. You live in a fog and you are exhausted. A great combination…especially for a leader to have. Follow me! Where? I am not sure…the fog is thick. Follow me! Where…you are not even moving. Well, it should be easy to keep up then. Soon I will move…soon.

The guilt you end up feeling when you know you are supposed to be leading others and you cannot find strength to lead yourself is off the charts. Romans seven takes new life during this time…what I want to do I don’t do…and what I don’t want to do…that is what I do. I think pastors suffer guilt in an area like this more than other leaders…but everyone goes through similar things…I am not trying to say mine is worse than yours…just different. If I was leading a business the fog and exhaustion would still have been real…and I would have had to go to work every day. I know. I think as a spiritual leader it becomes difficult when you think everyone is depending on you to be there and to be strong.

During this time we had at least one family leave our fellowship…people do leave. They did not talk with us but through to the grapevine we heard they did not like the “new direction” the church was going in. I must admit it caught me off guard…I did not even think we were moving and now I find out we have changed direction. Maybe in the fog we were moving. I did not think so. Sooo they leave…and no matter how you cut it…I take the blame. It must be me…what else could it be? This is the struggle…should I have pulled off the road…taken some time away…to be able to let the fog lift? Would that have made a difference? The life of a regular guy…in leadership.

The strange thing is I thought I was prepared for my parents dying. Really, I did. Mom had been kind of gone for over three years and my dad, the strongest guy I have ever known, was slipping away pretty quickly. I wrote about how they died, dad passing away pretty quickly and then when mom found out he was gone she died within twenty four hours, some of her last words being, “I’m coming dad, I’m coming.” Gone. One week end and both parents gone…I do think the trauma of it all was deeper than I thought at first. Getting the news mom was gone while at my dad’s showing was strange and difficult for sure. Watching my daughter in agony over losing her best friend and not being there with her was awful…and my sister. Awful. Kind of wanted to get angry with mom….really mom…you could not wait another couple of days? But she couldn’t…and I don’t blame her.

Anyway I thought I was prepared…not so much. Well, I was and I was not…who could be really? So the fog settles in…and you go through the holidays, your first holiday season without your parents. Emotions all over the map. I was able to step back from preaching at the church. Other leaders stepped up and helped out. Then we move into the New Year…and into one of the worst winters on record. Snow…cold…really cold…lots of snow…every Saturday and Sunday. For many this means nothing…for a pastor it means a lot. I would get calls, texts and e mails, “Are we having church?” It had not even began snowing yet…do we or don’t we? Should we or shouldn’t we? We did. But this all added to the fog…thinking about attendance…finances…etc. Dark cloudy days…so cold you did not want to go outside anyway…even if you were not in a fog and tired.

One of the things that really helped get me through these dark days was definitely God inspired. We begin the New Year as a church family on a 21 day fast, just focusing in the Lord. During this time we send out daily devotions that, in the past, I and a team of writers would contribute writings to be sent out in e-mail form. This year I felt like the Lord wanted me to do the writing and I was not really sure why. We have some very talented people. Now I see it was as much to encourage me as it was to lead the people. At the end of the 21 days I kept writing, short, simple devotions built on God’s word. I did cut it down to five days a week not writing on the week ends. It has had a two fold effect. One it has kept me in a devotional state of mind…each morning, me sitting with the scriptures seeking out what the Spirit is wanting to say…to me…to others. Most are really sparse. I felt like this was not a teaching time, a time to make a point theologically, but a time for connection. With God. So it has kept me connected deeply and quietly when I felt like I could not see two inches in front of my face. So even on Sundays I could speak out of an overflow of my heart not a deficit. Not re-hashing old messages just to get by.

The second effect is that even in my foggy state of mind I could still pastor my friends. I could share my devotions with others…and let them in on this journey with me. I know everyone does not get the e-mails or even if they do will read them but many do. I get feedback that lets me know they are connecting…even from people who are not part of this body but have visited or see them on Facebook. God moves in mysterious ways…and by this simple discipline of writing a devotion the fog has begun to lift. I have my prayer people praying for me…I have family support…and I know God still moves in and around me. Nice. Without this writing I would have slipped into a deeper depression I think…I would have lost my early morning time with God. I would have. But instead of me trying harder God moved closer…much better. I could come get a drink and then share it with friends. It has been a good thing…a real good thing.

You know, as a pastor in a fog, no one hits a pause button on life…saying we will wait for you to get out of the fog before we tell you the wheels have come off our marriage. Or we are moving…or leaving…not you it is us. People don’t stop having hard things happen to them…family members dying…losing jobs…getting sick. Life still happens. No one says, “ I bet Bill is still struggling with grief…maybe that is why we seem to be moving in a new direction.” Nope…just good bye…well not even that. Just gone in 60 seconds. I know people leave the church…every day…I can tell myself that. Does not help much.

If this sounds like I am feeling sorry for myself, I am not really. I can introduce you to many friends who have had much harder things than this happen to them. Much harder. It is not that. I just want to say I think, well I know, the fog is lifting. It does lift. It tries to come back but it cannot stay as long as it would like. Energy comes back too, though I have never been an over energized person anyway;)

I am coming out of the fog and I know when I do come out I will be a different person, pastor. I love it where Jesus says, “The Father is always working.” He is always working…on me and you. He is not working in me because He is disappointed in me or I am such a mess He is embarrassed by me. He works in me because He loves me…deeply. One last thought and i know this is much longer than I like to write. Worship. Worship helped me along the way. To be able to worship with friends on Sunday was life giving. God met me over and over again in worship. The fog lifted as I worshipped. It might come back…not during worship. It may have been selfish of me at times but I would let worship go on and on because I could be in His presence again. Like in the mornings but different. I think because many of my friends were there with me…and it was safe.

Anyway there some thoughts form a regular guy…

wisdom, courage and kindness...word for today's leaders

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 15:46:00 +0000

The National Director (not a real fancy title is it?) of our Association of churches delivered a message to the leaders of the Vineyard a few weeks back in St. Louis. Barb and I heard the message again in Sunbury, Ohio at a conference there. As we listened to the message it became obvious this was a very timely, prophetic word to the Church...not just our Vineyard tribe but even the larger Church needs to hear it.

Some background material, Phil Strout, the National guy, told us that the Lord had given him three prayers to pray in his life. The first one he prayed for about eleven years and the next one twenty plus. As He and his wife assumed the national role the Lord woke him up and said he had another prayer for him to pray. The Spirit told him he would need to pray for three things in this next season of life. That sounded fair enough and he asked the Lord what that would be. The Lord said he would need to pray for wisdom, courage and kindness as he moved forward. I know as you first read these words we might say, “Of course we need to pray for that...well the kindness thing seems a little out of place. But wisdom...courage sure.” But that is the beauty and wisdom of the whole message. Wisdom but no courage or even courage but not wisdom really does not make much of an impact...especially for a leader. Then kindness wraps it up in a package that communicates the Lord’s message so well. Who is not tired of angry faces and words depicting who the church is?

Sure, in Phil’s role as a national leader this makes sense but I think it is an important word for any level leader today. We are seeing whole denominations bow to the culture...exchange the truth for a lie. Calling evil good and good evil. Leaders by the hundreds are taking non-biblical stances to appease those around us, as if that would win them over. Wisdom, courage and kindness is exactly what will be needed to journey in and communicate with a culture that is bent on defying God and His way of life. I know of leaders in our own tribe caving to the pressure thinking it is the kind thing to do, to be accepting and affirming. Paul says, “God’s kindness leads us to repentance.” not acceptance.

Phil referenced Joshua 3:1-5 as he talked about all the Lord had showed him. One thing to point out, this was not a light hearted word the Lord delivered to Phil. He laughs some now but as he received it it was heavy word that he did not share with Jan for a few months. Joshua three is when the children of Israel are preparing to enter the promise land and the Lord gives Joshua some directions on how to go. The priests and the Levites would lead carrying the ark of the covenant, which is the Lord’s presence. He told Joshua to stay back a little to keep an eye on the ark to know where to go. Verse 4 says, “Then you will know which way to go, since you have never been this way before.” The key message...Phil, you have never been this way before. Key message to the Church...Church you have never been this way before. What would we need to go, to lead, in a place we have never been before? Wisdom, courage, and kindness.

In Joshua one the Lord tells Joshua to be strong and courageous, then he amps it up a bit and says to be strong and “very” courageous. That makes you pause a moment doesn’t it? But Joshua also had this promise from the Lord, “As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you or forsake you.” Josh.1:5 You really have to know the faithfulness of this God we have been called to follow...to be able to lead others in their journey with God. Courage...not heroism or bravery...courage. John Wayne, that great theologian, said, “Courage is being scared to death, but still saddling up.” (OK i am not sure this fits or not but I liked it!) Maybe courage is just knowing Who has your back...or Who is out in front. I suspect as a pastor it is knowing Whose Church it really is. Whose word it really is. Who stands behind it all. This is not a time for the Church to bow to culture like it is cultures lap dog! (Phil said this too...I like it.) I am not advocating picking a fight...I am saying let’s trust Jesus when He said the gates of Hell would not prevail against His church. Let God be true and every man a liar…in Joshua 1 as God is giving Josh instructions His main message was “stay true to the word.” “Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night.” Josh.1:8 I am sorry, well not really, but this is what I see so many doing…leaving behind the words of God to make culture happy.

for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her. Prov.8:11 Wisdom is a precious gift to the church...James says to ask for it...Paul says Jesus has become our wisdom...Proverbs is all over wisdom. I think at times operating with wisdom would mean asking better questions and listening more intently. I find reading the Gospels inspiring when I see the questions Jesus asks at just the right time. Sometimes His questions just quiet all the commotion around Him...shuts down His accusers. Sometimes the questions lead the person to the answer they were searching for and maybe did not even know it. In the garden God calls out to Adam,”Where are you?” It was meant to bring Adam out into the light...then a series of questions happen...to help Adam see what has happened.

Jesus asked brilliant questions...and did give wise answers. In the time and season we live in, to respond, “The Bible says.” brings derisive responses...outside the church...and in. I am not saying we back away from the scripture but we need to lean into it and know it and faithful to it. Jesus lived it from the inside out. Yes He could quote it…but He also lived it. We need to be able to communicate to a people who do not believe in the scriptures the truth of the scriptures. Proverbs 1:20,21 “Wisdom calls aloud in the street, she raises her voice in the public squares; at the head of the noisy streets she cries out, in the gateway of the cities she makes her speech.”

Wisdom has a voice...makes some noise...tries to get our attention. Will we listen? We will attempt to hear? In a time when knowledge is glorified wisdom is needed. I have watched attempts by many to use tools of secularism to reach the culture. Business models and such...not all bad...until those practices take precedence over scripture. Then it goes bad. Some of my peers are now taking positions that cannot be supported by scripture...so scripture is explained away. I have to ask...if the church and its‘ leaders don’t place a high value on scripture...who will? Paul said he “became all things to all people.” and I don’t think he meant he discarded scripture to reach everyone...I think he discarded religion.

God's kindness is intended to lead you to repentance? Rom.2:4 Kindness...not to be confused with being nice. I can remember reading a statement from John Wimber and I do not have it exact but in a time when he was getting a lot of criticism he reminded others, “Our brother is never our enemy.” To be heard and to live with wisdom and courage in this season will take the kindness of God in our words and deeds to be heard and seen. In a culture that screams at you how tolerant it is...we know it is not. When debate has been handed over to bullying it will take radical kindness to reach others. We are not conservative talk show hosts whose job is to talk over the other opinion and try to overwhelm them with our volume of words and sound. As Steve Sjogren has said...it will take a Conspiracy of Kindness.

A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. Prov.15:1

Folks...the prayer God gave Phil is not for him alone...it is for all of us. Whatever our role is in the Church...it is going to take wisdom, courage and kindness to be able to point people to Jesus. I cannot remember a message that has so stirred me like this one has...I hope the leaders in our tribe who heard it will pass it on...duplicate it. I know I have only given a small glimpse in...so much more to be said...and heard.

Courage will allow us to stand in the face of a culture demanding we bow to it…wisdom will give us the questions to ask and the answers to give…kindness will allow it to be heard. When you read those verse in Joshua three as Joshua works through the crowd of people he says “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.” Josh.3:5 Who does not want to see God do amazing things among us? Then let us lead with wisdom, courage and kindness…and see what the Lord will do among us.

If anyone would like to hear the message in its fullness you can go on the Champaign/Urbana Vineyard website click on the tab take the best and go and then click on the one with Phil’s name in it and watch Phil deliver it in January or go on the Sunbury Vineyard website and listen to it.

I Am Sorry…And Then I am not!

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Thu, 13 Feb 2014 20:20:00 +0000

Wow! We just got back from a conference that was a Vineyard sponsored event. Off the charts good...and I do not even like conferences...Barb makes me go! This was different. I knew much prayer and hard work had gone into this conference. There was anticipation that God would do amazing things here..power stuff...and reconciliation stuff. I knew the teams heart was to invite the Holy Spirit back to the center of the movement...not off to the side...out of the picture. He has been kind of an after thought...oh if you asked we could say He was right front and center...but really He was treated like the relative you like but knew he might offend others. Some will accuse me of longing for the “good old days” and that could be true...they were fun. I suspect it is more wanting to be a part of the “good new days.”

I am not after “manifestations” either...I mean I never fall down, shake or quake. I cry some...but as people of His presence I know when He is moving. I do want Him to move among us...I do think being cool is on its way out...and being real is coming back to the forefront...authentic. I have been reminded of a couple of things I heard or read John Wimber say. One was, “Can I have my Church back?” which is quite sobering. Another was, “I have seen your ministry...would you like to see mine?” Both of these statements moved John powerfully...as they would any leader...or should. I suspect for every leader this sounds and looks differently...plays out different...but they are still valid questions.

A few months ago I wrote blog kind of calling my tribe on the carpet for drifting away from the “main and plain” of scripture. I was critical of our new leadership for what they put out as “talking points” but they were not talking points. They wrote a clarification on where we stood on the LGBT subject...and in my boldness I criticized them...and I was wrong. Really wrong. I have had friends reach out to me and tell me how they had appreciated the stance our leaders took and I had to sit back and rethink my statements..and I came to this conclusion...I was wrong. I hate being wrong...well not really hate...I am wrong enough I know what I need to do when it happens. Admit it...and apologize. I do apologize to our leaders who have worked hard to form a biblical stance on a very politically hot subject. They do so knowing they will be criticized more than thanked...accused of being unloving and legalistic...of not having the heart of Jesus on this matter. They did it...they are still doing it. So I want to take a moment and say thanks...now I know on this small blog it won’t make a huge splash...and most of them won’t even know I said it...I will. Maybe 30 or so others.

I am sad that we are even having this kind of discussion at this early juncture of our existence. I think our National leaders feel that sadness also...why are we here? I, and this is my own thought, suspect that when we moved from being a presence driven movement to a more acceptable, calmer, brainy movement...it was only a matter of time. We had moved away from a stance of “come Holy Spirit” to one of...I better stop. I really do not want to be critical...I love my tribe...and I only want the best.

I suspect my disappointment from the letter our leaders sent out was I was looking for a more defined statement of “those who don’t believe like this are out!” Fortunately our leaders are a bit more gracious than that...but still clear enough that we can know where we stand on this touchy subject. A friend of mine in town led his church out of the ELCA (Lutheran) denomination after the denomination decided to move away from scripture and to become more accepting. What he would tell his church family is,”The denomination changed, we did not.” I am watching a collision about to happen and my advice to the leaders who have changed their mind concerning the LGBT question, “You changed, we did not.”

Bonhoeffer wrote this, “Do not try to make the Bible relevant. Its relevance is axiomatic. Do not defend God's word, but testify to it. Trust to the Word. It is a ship loaded to the very limits of its capacity." For the last 15 years I have heard the cry to make ourselves and the scripture relevant...I get it...but what do we sacrifice at the altar of relevance? I was listening to Tim Keller recently on a podcast and he said this concerning the call of Jesus to us. He said, “When you run into the real Jesus and the real gospel it shocks us in two ways. It demands more than you thought and it offers more than you thought.” We live in a time where we see no demand from Jesus...we say yes...pray the prayer...live the way we want to. No demands...and so it does not offer much either.

Keller points out the story of the rich young ruler...give it all up and start over. We think well that is one story. How about Nicodemus...you must be born again...what? How could that happen? Isn’t it the same story? Give up what you think is working for you...because it is not working...and come to me. How did I get here from there? To be relevant today...we sacrifice the amazing message of Jesus and what He offers...and demands. Why do we desire to make this life safe for people? Why do we bow at the altar of relevancy or being culturally current? Shouldn’t we of all people know to Whom we bow? Are we in such a difficult time with culture that God is overwhelmed?

I am grateful for our National Director...and I pray for him...and the board. I hope as a movement we can get back to the main and the plain of scripture. I hope we rediscover Wimber’s favorite prayer...well right after “HELP!” Come Holy Spirit...come Holy Spirit.

Bill

Maybe I think too Much

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 16:19:00 +0000

I love the whole Church...I really, really do. I try not to belittle how others go about church but I know at times what I believe to be real can come through in a negative way. I despise that really...if I make a comment it is not to disparage or to discredit but to challenge, as I have been challenged. If we are not being challenged we may be in trouble because I am sure we are not doing all things perfectly.

I was out walking the other day and I began thinking about a wedding Barb and I were attending. We met three or four couples that evening that we knew from prior church experiences and the others were people that our friends a the table knew from their prior church experiences. We were all from different charismatic type churches and we are still in that type of expression. As I thought about it was kind of odd as every couple that we connected with somehow of course the question would come up, “Where are you attending church now?” All of the couples were now in what we refer to as “seeker” churches. Most in the biggest one nearby. A great church, growing and expanding. But I find it so interesting that you would kind of go away from a worship setting where there is freedom and the things of the Spirit. I know they will tell me about all the people being baptized and we surely cannot over look that...but still.

Again please do not read this as a critical essay on the seeker church...it may be more on what the charismatic churches did to to drive these folks away? First I can say this...most of the churches these folks were part of do not exist today. What we experienced back in the day was a lot of young leaders who did not know what they believed and they experimented on many of us. There were some dynamic churches and leaders, don’t get me wrong, but little theological framework for many of them to lead from. So there was a lot of strange things taught and practiced...and much good also. I suppose the bad outweighed the good in many instances. But some of these people were immersed in it and to walk away...just seems strange to me.

As we came into a more charismatic experience, and I choose these words over “Spirit filled” because I think much of the trouble came from some elitist, divisive terminology. But as we came into the experience the object that captured me was worship...the active, intimate worship of God. I love the prophetic and the practice of all the gifts...for me they all flow from having hearts of worship...His presence...I cannot imagine leaving that behind to attend church. Now I can hear some saying we worship...and I am sure you do...even in our own Vineyard family there are groups that limit worship...time wise...experience wise. Sad.

I do know that the more seeker church does strive for excellence, as we all should...but I cannot wrap my mind around a program driven body over a presence driven one. I guess I wrestle with “what is the Church?” Is it a Sunday meeting? A building? Is it bound to a personality? Do programs make the church? Does liturgy? I think this is my hearts burden to know “what is the Church?” Micah 6:8, “What does God require of you?” I so wish Jesus or the Father had simply said this is church...this is what I expect. He does not really, although I suspect much of what we do as Church is not really Church. I wish a dialogue could happen where we could sit down and talk about this subject...where we could get together and not defend what we do but look and see what does God require. Do we do church? Or are we the Church? Why the terms clergy and laity?

We have taken on the task of being presence driven or steered for a lack of a better term. We want His Presence to direct where we are going and what we put our hands to...I suppose that could lead to some programs and it could also lead to stopping some programs. I suspect some of the people I met were driven away by the busyness and demands of those old churches. I do remember being in meetings a lot..lots and lots of meetings. I regret how many times I left my kids with sitters, mostly their grandparents which was a plus. But still...meeting after meeting. Then I saw the whole hierarchy kind of deal going on...titles being handed out or taken away..new titles monthly. A kind of corporate ladder to be climbed...at the cost of family and friends. That was sad for sure. Maybe I do get it. Our heart is to not keep people busy doing things in the church but to give them the freedom to be the church, on the job, in their community and, most important, in their family.

Now I am drifting...but I do think on this a lot...who are we? Did Jesus leave us here to do a church service? Or does the Church gather to celebrate? Are our times of getting together to win the unchurched? Is every meeting evangelistic? A friend of mine nearby has a church where they are going for all the things of the Spirit God has for them and they are seeing people confess Jesus every week. Is it really either/or? Can’t it both/and? Are we looking for converts? Or disciples? Is there a difference? I understand Jesus never said to anyone bow your head and pray...but we all need a starting point I guess. I told you I had questions! Paul talks of confessing Jesus as Lord...Bonhoeffer ran with what he called the “confessing” church.

I am not here to promote what we do or how we lead...but I will say we all need to be before God everyday seeking His face and His will. We all know we can do church without Him...that is the scary part of what we do and who we are. I remember John Wimber saying that in one encounter with the Holy Spirit he heard the Spirit say, “I have seen your ministry...would you like to see mine?” (that may not be the exact words) John replied that yes he wanted to see the Lord’s ministry. So do I. I know what I can do...it is not much...I want to see what the Lord will do.

So, as Paul would write in 1 Corinthians about some following Apollos or Peter or Paul and some even saying they followed Jesus to the point of much division, I don’t want more division or to be seen criticizing another part of the body. I only want to be found doing what the Lord has asked me to do...and do it well. I need the liturgical Church, the emerging church, the seeker church...I need it all...so I can continue to lead where I am called. I learn from all...this is what a leader does I think...I know a follower of Jesus is like this...a student...a learner. At the end of the day don’t we all want to see Jesus ministry? His Church not ours?

How Could I have Missed This?

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Wed, 18 Dec 2013 18:33:00 +0000

I have been thinking on this one thought a lot lately...how we can be so close to something we can miss what is going on. When you look in a mirror, depending on what you are looking at is what you see or focus on. If you are looking for an over all view you stand back a bit so you can see more of the image you are checking out. If it is a spot on you face you want to check out you get closer and focus on the spot you want to see. I think this is the meaning of the old phrase, “You can’t see the forest for the trees.” In the middle of the woods you just see the trees nearby...from a hill over looking the woods you can see the depth and width of the forest.

A leader has to be able to do both I suspect...to look closely at what is going around you, what is near you. Then at times you need to step back and look at everything from a distance...get the bigger picture so to speak. The hard part I think is the timing of it all...some micromanage to such point other leaders around them feel stifled. Then you can be too hands off also...I think I tend to default here, to back off too much.

Anyway this whole thought process began as I watched my parents pass away. The story goes like this, I know many of you already know but here goes. My mom and dad were married for sixty-three years...sixty three years. Some marriages hardly make sixty-three days and others seem like they have had sixty-three different spouses. This was one man to one woman...for sixty-three years. The last few years have been very difficult for my dad...we almost lost mom three or four years ago but she recovered...somewhat. She remained bed ridden for the last few years and dad was her care giver. My sisters offered to help or encouraged him to get help but he would say, “We took vows over 60 years ago and we meant them.” So for better for worse...in sickness and in health...‘til death do us part...it was a serious vow they made.

Dad and I had our moments for sure. He taught me to love the game of baseball but his methods were kind of harsh at times. His temper seemed to flare at really weird times or at least unsuspecting times. I can still remember some name calling and him making fun of my weight. This is what I mean by being too close to the story to see what all was going on around me...maybe the bigger story...well the better story for sure. I think as I grew older and I sought healing I focused on the negative a lot. Old wounds were close to the surface. I remember one time being on vacation with friends and Stacy and Ian were with us. We were riding bikes together and I had Ian on the back of mine...and he was not pedaling! We crossed this bridge which was kind of narrow and had a sharp turn as we approached the street. As we got to the top I stopped not knowing there was another couple coming up behind us. They got a little angry and were muttering...loudly as they passed by. Then they said something about us being stupid...stupid! A trigger. Not a good word. I came unglued and if I could have gotten free from our crowd I am not sure what would have done. Being called stupid as a kid leaves a mark...a deep one.

So I think I had these trees in my face...and I could not see the forest around me...the story I grew up in. I never suspected at all I was surrounded by a love story...oh sure they were married a long time but a real love story? My dad passed on a Saturday morning in a care facility as my sister was coming to be with him. Really he went quickly...we thought we had some more time but we did not. He knew he was going and I really think he resigned himself and went. My mom was in the same facility but in another room and she did not know he was gone, although looking back now I think she knew way before we did he was pretty sick. So she was kind of preparing to go too...we did not recognize this either. On Monday, dad’s 89th birthday, my sister told mom he was gone...she repeated what Diane said and then did not say much more. The next day we got word mom was slipping away now...really! Again we thought we had more time...we needed more time. At dad’s viewing we got a call...mom had passed. My Aunt Barb was with her, her oldest friend, as she went home. The nurse said she would sing “Home on the Range” and “Jesus Loves Me” and then say, “I’m coming dad, I’m coming.” Then laid her head in my aunts hands and went...to dad...to Jesus. Twenty-four hours after finding out dad was gone...she went...to join him.

Dad had fought to keep her alive when she got sick and as she recovered...he would not let her go. I really think he kept her here...and when he left it was OK for her to go too. Rarely apart for 63 years they would not stay apart either...‘til death do us part. Mom he was only gone twenty-four hours! Couldn’t you have given is at least a week to get through dad’s funeral? What kind of story is this? Did I really miss for most of my sixty-two years what really was right in front of me? I mean everyone loved mom...what was said at her funeral was she had this amazing gift of making everyone feel like they here her favorite or her best friend. Dad was little more prickly...well a lot more really. On the other hand we all knew if we needed anything he would drop what he was doing to give you a hand. I cannot tell you how many times I would be working on a car of mine and he would wander over and give me a hand. And they go down in the grandparents Hall of Fame...they baby sat for quite a few kids and all of them adopted them as grandparents also.

I think as one in the middle of the story I missed the essentials of the story...I could not see the forest for the trees. I think of the disciples as they hung out with Jesus...they all came with their ideas of what He should be about and what He should do. They had a different view of the end of the story than He did. He tried to tell them...but they could not see...they could not see the love story unfolding right in front of them. We can see it now...from a distance...from a different vantage point. I can now see my mom and dad’s story, love story, better and more clearly. It is still confounding and amazing...but becoming more clearly every day. “I’m coming dad, I’m coming.” Love kept them together, love kept her alive, love let her go home...to be with dad...and Jesus.

In this world of smart phones and tablets all making little noises letting you know you have a text or an email, where it is hard to get away or to back up to see more clearly what is going around you I hope we will all slow down and look around us. Is there a Frank and Evelyn type love story nearby that you might be missing? Are our bruises and pains from life so large we cannot see the glories of heaven all around us? Are we so busy looking for the next big thing the best thing is being overlooked?

I have prayed for years to see what God sees...I think there is a big lesson for me here...maybe I am not even looking in the same direction as He is. Maybe...I need to back up and get a better view...maybe...how about you?

Singing Off Key

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Tue, 22 Oct 2013 21:21:00 +0000

Oh man...Dave said it has been since July since I wrote anything for the blog. I do not do well just trying to get something down to put out there. I did write a couple of things I might put out after some adaptations to them. They are personal and I am not ready to share some of that yet. During this time my father-in-law passed away and we have had to place both my mom and dad in a nursing facility to get them the care they need. Lot so of stress but I so admire my siblings. My sisters have done an incredible job caring for mom and dad until it was impossible and my brother, Frank, really stepped up to help also. They are really amazing.

As I sat down to put some thoughts down it amazes me how the Lord will put us in places or situations that help us face our stuff...our issues. Then as we do step up He gently nudges us forward to places and situations to see if anything has stuck. If our healing has taken hold, I suppose. For me as I have discovered the voice the Lord has given me it seems like He keeps pushing me out there in uncomfortable places to speak. As I have been writing for a local website I have been challenged to keep writing...speaking. I direct my posts primarily to the Church, to challenge and to encourage, and many of the readers are not coming from that perspective at all. Some do....but definitely a different section of the church.

We are living in times where it seems like the call word of the day is “tolerance.” Can we be tolerant of others? Can you Christians be more tolerant? Kind of a can’t we all get along theme to life. The surprising thing is that the loudest voices crying out for tolerance are...the least tolerant! Oh if you will sing along with them their can’t we all get along song they will be tolerant....but don’t you dare change the words of the song. It could get ugly...well it will get ugly...and quickly. Strange. On one article as the comments rolled in a sweet individual joined the conversation and sang her let’s all get along song. As I sang out of key it got a little tense...strange...the next thing you know...I am not welcome to sing along anymore...no room in the inn for guys like me. You know if you can push some sweet new ager over the edge...you just might be doing something right! TOLERANT! I WILL SHOW YOU TOLERANT! AS SOON AS YOU LEAVE! Dorothy we ain’t in Kansas anymore.

How do we lead in a culture that tells you in five different ways you are not welcome here? Your kind is not welcome. Hmmm. Land of the free. As long as you know the right words to sing maybe. As I write I am thinking of the children’s song “Jesus Loves Me.” It would be OK to sing this as long as it is the Prophet Jesus or the teacher Jesus you are singing to. Then we have to do something with the line, “The Bible tells me soooo.” Can’t have that can we? Well, I guess you could as long as did not take the Bible literally...we have to remember it is just a story book meant to teach us how to love. Jonah is a fable...Genesis a story...one my favorite lines has been, “Yes I believe in the resurrection...just not literally.” Doesn’t that just kind of stop you in your tracks and wonder what does that mean? So Jonah...Adam and Eve...just made up characters to teach us about life...and Jesus too? Somebody made that all up? Really?

I do find it humorous that I am writing for something like this website...and people are reading it. Then commenting. Not agreeing with me very much but reading. I kind of feel like an exhibit at a zoo...you know...let’s go see the guy who actually believes the Bible is inspired by God! He is sooo strange. What they really would say is, “Let’s go see this guy who is a literalist when it comes to the Bible!” “He believes the stories inside it...this should be fun. Maybe we could feed him.” Yeah...that is right...they have labeled me...a literalist. Trust me they do not say this with awe in their voices...it is with sadness You can almost see them shaking their head sadly...thinking that this animal was supposed to be extinct...but there is one left. How sad. Now I know I am not a real literalist because if I were I would have one eye plucked out and one hand chopped off for sure...and who knows what else? But in the culture we live in believing the scripture for anything is taboo. It is being reduced down to a collection of fables for good living...and should be on the shelf with other sources of enlightenment.

So the point here is...well one of the points here is...a couple of years ago I felt like God gave me my voice back. That after years of being shut up and feeling like what I have to say does not matter He has put me in a place to speak. Odd thing is for me I never would have seen myself speaking to this crowd...let me talk to other Christians but not to the Buddhists, agnostics, Bahai, and liberals. Please not me. I do feel like Moses here...I don’t speak all that well...I will stutter...I am not that deep...and I will get angry! Then I sense Him asking me, “Why did I give you your voice back then? To be safe? To be quiet?” As I go through this whole deal I stay humbled because I know I am over my head in so many areas. That at an elementary level I am rejected...because of Him...well He is being rejected...and I have a birds eye view.

He never sends us places He does not go with us...He never asks us to do anything He has not already done...He did not give me my voice back...to remain silent. How can you not love a savior like this? How can you not serve a God that cares so deeply?

Last week I was close to shutting up...shutting down shop. Someone asked me about the line of casting my pearls before swine...I suppose I could make it fit here...but I can also make Paul’s words fit here...4 But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? 15 And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, “How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!”Romans 10:14,15

Listen friends...they want you to stop singing...but our song brings light and life...we have to sing...if not the rocks and hills will take our place. I am an introvert...I am not seminary trained...I am bald.Yet God gave me a voice...I will use it.

Wet Leadership Lessons

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Tue, 02 Jul 2013 19:49:00 +0000

I was talking with a few friends recently about how they were doing and the rough time they had been going through at their church. The main guy is a great communicator/speaker, his wife is a gentle pastor and his main associate is an extremely gifted and loyal guy. You would never suspect they could be facing what they are facing...then you hear more of the story. One of a good leader hearing too many voices on how to lead...and he got lost in the noise...he began leading trying to keep others happy.

Reminded me of the time we were finishing the last leg of our week of motorcycling on the Blue Ridge Parkway. We were an hour or two our from our home and Ray said I should lead us to the house. From there they might go on or spend the night and then head on in the morning. It was an easy leading assignment...it was my home...we were on a highway not back roads. Really it was just riding in front of Ray and Carol. How hard could that be? YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED!

As we got closer to home (nice title of my favorite Grand Funk song...sorry) the weather began to change especially in front of us. We stopped and gassed up and I suggested maybe we stop there and wait it out...Ray said we could press on. (thought I was leading:) So off we head...right into a storm. Now this is the hard part...I was leading but I was also wondering how Ray would lead here...what would he do? (WWRD) I was thinking we should stop but I didn’t want Ray to think I cannot lead...it is not fun getting wet on a bike. I mean the sky was ugly and menacing and it was obvious it was going to rain...sometime. I kept looking in my mirror to see if maybe Ray would wave me over...yeah I am leading...kind of. No wave. So we kept going forward...that is what a leader does...goes forward. Right?

Now to top it off we had called ahead and talked to my daughter and she told us it was raining. But we were not sure I guess. Then it happened. The skies opened up and down came the rain. Cars were pulling over...not us. WWRD was my main thought...even as it felt like I was about to drown on my bike. How embarrassing would that be...”Man Drowns While Riding Motorcycle!” The Toledo Blade would have been all over it. I can hear them interviewing Ray...”Well I wondered why we did not stop...but Bill was leading.” Sure Ray, throw me under the bus!

The point really is this...you cannot lead if you are looking over your shoulder wondering if everyone following you is happy. Happeh, happeh, happeh. Does not work. You go crazy. You are trying to think about what they are thinking. Instead of leading you are trying to keep people happy...so they will follow as you lead. This was my friends situation...the one at the beginning at the story. He had others correcting him and threatening...to stop following him. In the end that is what they did anyway...and they took many with them. Now we can blame them and they get some blame for sure. But like when I was on the bike...I knew we should stop...and I did not. I knew what should be doing but once I stopped leading and began following from up front...we were going to get wet. We sure did.

I am not talking like we don’t need feed back...there is wisdom in a multitude of counsellors...if I had stopped and consulted with Ray and Carol I might have found we were on the same page. Instead I tried to think for both of us...not good. I am not mind reader...sometimes I am not sure what I am thinking!

My friends have been hurt badly...maybe we could say they got soaked. On a motorcycle the worst thing you could do is spend more time looking behind you or to the side than looking straight ahead. You need to look ahead to see the traffic or the clouds ahead. What is behind you really cannot get you like what is in front of you...and you are leading. I just heard of a guy riding his bike on the turnpike and he looked down at something and when he looked up...traffic was stopped. He was not. He walked away...hurt...his bike totaled...stuff happens.

I know there will always be many voices behind us and around us to help us. Some will help...but some won’t. You have to discern...and that means you have to know you are leading...or not.

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Thu, 06 Jun 2013 19:44:00 +0000

Barb and I just got back from Zimbabwe. I traveled there with three women and while there I was usually accompanied by four women...I learned things like how to say, “He/she is such a sweet person.” “What a wonderful person ____ is. Just wonderful.” I learned every place you go you should take pictures...even if you have been there hundreds of times before...be quiet and take the picture. I learned a lot...and did not talk much. No room in the inn.

Enough whining, it was a great trip built around much praying. Lot of praying...at any time...in any place. Pray. Now! Awesome, really.

Now Barb has a thing about rhinos...pictures of them...carvings of them...statues of them. Rhinos...she looked for them everywhere we went...and bought a lot of them. It is my fault she has fallen in love with the rhino...not because of my body type. A few years back I did a sermon series titled, “Crashing into___” I read a book written by Erwin McManus titled, “The Barbarian Way” and in the book he talks about a trip to the San Diego Zoo he took with his children. At the zoo they would give you the names of what a group of animals were called. Dolphins are a pod. Flamingo are a Flamboyance. My personal favorite...buzzards are a Committee. So the chapter goes until he comes to the Rhino. A herd of Rhino is called a Crash...yep a Crash. Why you ask? Thanks for asking. Well, a rhino can run up to 30 MPH but can only see about thirty feet out. Hence the name crash...if you or something else is out about 31 feet by the time they see you...crash!

So why does she love rhinos so much or what does she get from that image? Why did I title a sermon series “Crashin‘ Into___”? For me and Barb the image of the rhino running that fast and seeing so little in front of them is a great description of the kingdom of God crashing into the kingdom of darkness. Both John the Baptist and Jesus came on the scene proclaiming the kingdom of God coming...now...and in the future. This was not a timid statement with a lot of religious connotations stuck to it. It was a declaration...of war. What happened as Jesus declared the presence of the kingdom? The blind see, the deaf hear, the lame run...the captives chains are broken...the poor hear the good news. Darkness was pushed back...the religious became uncomfortable...those living in shame were lifted up.

Jesus gives a model prayer to pray...”Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.” Matt.6:9-15

We have tamed this down a bit by repetition but this little prayer is another declaration of war...against the ruler of this age. Christianity has been tamed a bit...well quite a bit I think. What was once a radical call to follow Jesus and live our lives counter to culture has adapted to culture. The group that once offered healing and help now entertains and hides the power in the back room...kind of embarrassing those emotional, charismatic type. In much of the world people die for naming the name of Christ...here we fight to be popular...liked...accepted. Kind of interesting Jesus told His guys they would be hated like He was hated...and yet we fight to be accepted and liked. To be seen as accepting and tolerant...and then the biggest...to be seen as cool. Sigh...

So on our trip to Zimbabwe our team went to a game preserve where we could see elephants, giraffes, lion’s and rhino. Yep rhino...Barb was excited for sure. Well, we found the rhino and they came right up to our trailer where we were seated. I was getting kind of nervous...wouldn’t you? That big powerful animal coming right up to you...then I noticed they were being guided towards us...by skinny guys with sticks. Then the guide fed them some sweet mix of grains. Then...then Barb fed them. Are you kidding me...these beasts eating out of her hand and she is petting them on the head. What!!!!???? They were tamed...gentle. It was nice to be close to them for sure but is this how it is supposed to be? Something felt wrong...really wrong. Don’t get me wrong it was fun....but still.

Later as we left the thought started coming to me...just like we see the rhino as the kingdom of God crashing into the kingdom of darkness with the Church leading the way, this picture of tamed rhino reminded me of the church. What was once powerful filled with surprise and even chaos has been tamed. Where we once ran full speed with our eyes fixed on Jesus...the author and perfecter of our faith, we now take our cues from culture. What once ran into culture, in the opposite direction now drifts slowly, peacefully along with it. We once said give us our daily bread...like we could only see thirty feet in front now needs five year plans and CEO’s at the helms of corporations meetings budgets and projections. Acts says, “ Great fear seized the whole church and all who heard about these events. No one else dared join them, even though they were highly regarded by the people.” Acts 5:11+13 Well in many cases no one wants to join us but we are not highly regarded either.

Sure it was fun seeing tame rhinos...but not scary...and not impressive either. It would have been much more fun and intense if we had caught a glimpse of one knowing at any moment he could turn on us and chaos would ensue. His power unleashed and untethered, loose to explode at any moment. Your heart rate goes up...an encounter that could be life changing...or even ending!

I was talking with some friends the other day and I told them, “I don’t think church should be safe...from God...maybe from strange people...but God needs to be free to get their attention.” The taming of the rhinos is kind of a sad thing...but the taming of the church is even sadder. We are moving in fear...afraid culture won’t like us anymore. Some of our own super stars are pushing us to make peace with culture...to stop living counter cultural but adapt to it. Take the message of the kingdom and tone it down a bit...change it where needed. Take sections of scripture that makes us uncomfortable and explain away...or just ignore because they are offensive to many. Inside and out of the church.

I just celebrated another birthday recently and I realize I may be running out of birthdays soon...well at least I know I am way past middle age...unless I live to be 124. I know my days being a pastor of my church family could be winding down...and I have decided...along with Barb...we refuse to turn over a tame, calm church over to our successor...it won’t be a likable, easy going group looking for hand outs and just trying to be liked by everyone. We refuse to drift with culture enjoying the sights as we go...we will swim upstream, against the current. We will embrace the power and the chaos of the power of the kingdom breaking in. We are not going to feed the rhino from our hand, we are going to hop on the back of one of those crazy animals running 30 MPH knowing they cannot see where they are heading but knowing no one is going to stop it. I cannot imagine when Jesus said, “Behold the kingdom of God is here.” He saw what we see now...a Sunday morning product, rehearsed and perfected, with lights and smoke. I cannot imagine when Peter stood up on that Pentecost morning, he could envision services that would last less than an hour...parking lot attendants...an order of service. That one day we would look at the gifts of the Spirit and say, “Deny not, seek not.” That would have driven Peter back to fishing for sure. Many of our places cannot relate to “Silver and Gold we don’t have.” Lots of that around for buildings and such...but neither can we say “Stand up and walk!”

Enough for today...but you get my point...my loooong point. I may design a new bumper sticker...”Free the Kingdom of God”

Bill

PS...You thought I was done didn’t you? So did I. I remember on our motor cycle trip to Sturgis how we stopped in one of the National Parks. As we rode along a large herd of Buffalo began crossing the road and walking close by. Now these animals are not tame or use to people. They are angry and crabby...kind of like me I guess:) We sat there close to a baby with the dad coming up from behind...he began snorting and looking at us. The idea of trying to feed him and make friends with him never crossed my mind. I was looking for an escape route...my heart rate picked up...I knew at any moment this calm picture taking opportunity could get crazy real quick. Totally different than my rhino experience...and many of my church experiences! But it was memorable...

Seeker Sensitive...hmmmm

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Fri, 10 May 2013 20:53:00 +0000

Sooo I got some nice feedback on the last blog...no bad stuff. I have been thinking a bit more about where we are as an association of churches. One of the things I would like to say as I begin here is as I see things I do not understand and disagree with these are really good people I disagree with. I tend to get frustrated and when I get frustrated I can just kind of let it out. I am frustrated right now...with my tribe...and with large segments of the church that seems to me are panicking big time. But back to what I was just saying...these are really good people...motivated primarily by compassion and mercy. Feeling like there is a whole segment of the population that rejects the church and even more important to them...the church seems to reject these people. So I believe in my heart there is a pure motive behind their struggle...I disagree but I love and respect them. When there is a fracture in the family...it hurts. I think that is why I get fired up...it hurts...no winner here.

As I think more about this I am going to throw out a really hot potato...this one may get me placed in a looney bin but here goes. I wonder, as I watch this all unravel, I wonder how much the “seeker sensitive” aspect of church growth in our tribe contributes to this dilemma? As in many places, some of our largest churches, not all but many of them have gone to the seeker format...maybe even beyond seeker sensitive...seeker driven. Now from my 30 plus years in the Vineyard...oops I named names...my belief was John taught us to be seeker sensitive in the way we talked...dressed...if something happened during the service we took time to explain what was going on, prophecy, tongue, healing...just tell the people what is happening. We were a presence movement.

Worship was essential...now in some places ten or twelve minutes no more. Room for the Holy Spirit...not in a 60 minute service...get them in and get them out. Ministry time...again no room in the inn. So many things that were trademarks of my tribe gone. John wrote books like “Power Evangelism” and taught seminars, “SIgns and Wonders and Church Growth.” I heard him say on DVD that he never wanted the church to be a safe place...not safe from God! Now I know John was extremely gifted...he was a charismatic leader who moved in great power...he tried to give it to us but some things he was just blessed with. Now again before I go to far we have churches still doing the stuff, as we used to say. Penny and Danny Meyer...Happy and Di Lehman...Robby Dawkins...Christy Wimber...many others. But lots of churches with no interest in being “empowered evangelicals” maybe just evangelical...or maybe not even that.

My questions is has the church growth movement, centered on seekers, moved us away from the main and the plain? I remember our second National Director, after John and how he talked about Gen X until it came out of our ears and noses, then moved to post modernism. Over and over...post modern this...post modern that. We have got to change...we have got to get ready. At one of our National meetings he had the guru of post modern gurus in to talk with us. You know what he told us? Don’t change a thing...you are set for the future...experiential with worship...community with small groups...on and on he went...and we did not listen. We got smoother and more acceptable...and less emphasis on Holy Spirit...and grew...numerically.

Has the idea of church being for the seeker moved us away from what church really is...aren’t we the church? You know the people...aren’t we the church. I remember sitting in a work shop where the leader was talking about him planting a church and how he was not sure “the Sunday morning product” was ready. The "product"? Really? I am sure that was what Peter was thinking in Acts 2...”Boy I hope nothing happens today...I don’t think our Sunday morning product is quite ready yet.” Yep...can’t you hear that? Me neither. So we have more lights and better staging...play a secular song or two just to remind everybody how cool we really are. Two or three screens going...video clips...commercials during the message...hip, relevant message. Then send them home to do it all again. Don’t use too much scripture...they will get lost...they don’t have to carry a Bible because we can put it up on the big screens.

I am not saying a lot of this stuff is bad...but is it a distraction? Does it cause us to water things down to not offend? Do we stay away from certain topics or do we approach them like Oprah and Dr. Phil...leaving the scriptures on the cutting floor? I know we are doing this to win the lost but I continue to wonder what are we winning them to? The body of Christ, where Jesus is the Head, and the Holy Spirit leads, guides and directs. Or a performance based setting that points to a building and says...that is the church...that building right there is where it all happens.

I don’t have the answer but I wonder how history will look back on this season of seeker sensitive church growth activity. We have mega mega churches all over...not just my tribe...and statistically the Church is shrinking. Little influence on culture...not many lives changing. Massive campuses...multi campuses...and yet our numbers are shrinking. Churches closing...I wonder what the verdict will be. I wonder how a group of empowered evangelicals will respond...for me this is personal I suppose. Barb and I helped plant a Vineyard here in Toledo starting in 1988...yep...in the 80’s. Five years into it, the guy, who came from one of our biggest seeker churches said he did not believe in the things of the Spirit anymore...he was kind of excited about his discovery. Well, we went around and around for a while...he talked to the Reginal leader who told him that was fine but he could not lead in the Vineyard so he pulled the church out. Five years we invested in something we loved...gone on 60 seconds...seemed that way. Sooo we began over...with us as leaders...Rich Nathan gave us the go ahead and I mention his name because I am extremely grateful he took a chance on me...he did not have to but he did. I will always be thankful for a tribe who took a chance on a reluctant leader...a factory worker...so you can see all of this Holy Spirit stuff means a lot to us. What we saw when we came into the Vineyard is still what is important to us...worship...scripture...kingdom of God...the poor...healing the sick...all of this and so much more. I saw the Church in action...and that is what I wanted. I am not against seeker driven I just wonder how it has affected our movement...don’t you ever wonder?

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Sun, 05 May 2013 17:46:00 +0000

OK...I am back....on my own blog...so I can say what I want...right? So I thought I would write a letter to the Association of churches I belong to...an association of churches is another way of saying denomination without using the “D” word. Really it is so 80’s...network is much cooler. So anyway when you are part of a family you say things to them you might not say to others outside the family...and you can brag on them if you want. I love to brag about my kids and grandkids...awesome. I have been in my family of churches for 25 years now...wow! Now I am aware again of how old I am.

I love this family...most of the time...a lot of the time for sure. This is one of those moments when I think I want to brag on them a bit.(In a facetious way) I cannot believe how quickly we have moved on a certain topic...how quickly we are discussing this controversial subject...and how quickly we have gotten to...nowhere. I have studied Methodists...it has taken them hundreds of years...and really they are not sure yet. Some of the Lutherans..again hundreds of years before they decided to slip over the fence. Anglicans... Episcopalians...hundreds and hundreds of years...and then some of them broke up with the others. You know what I am talking about right? Really...you do. Well, it is the whole gay marriage....the LGBT issue. The leadership issue...do you ordain or not? Do we marry of not? I am so amazed we are even having discussions about this really. I wonder as I write this down...do you think we could get Rob Bell an audience with the Pope so he could explain to the Pope, “Dude you have to adapt...really you have to adapt.” I would like to see that....

(Really it is not a LGBT or marriage amendment issue...it is a biblical issue. How do we read the Bible? How do we look at the Bible...is it to be trusted? Is it a story book? Is it the Word of God...or not? I find that the amazing speed we have gotten to the point of turning scripture into a big story book has been amazing.)

See we are supposed to be “Empowered Evangelicals” taking the best of two worlds. The best of Pentecostalism and the best of Evangelicalism and we are running with it. BOOM! That is us! We love the Bible and digging into it and we love the Holy Spirit...and moves of the Spirit. Yes we do...well we did. Thing is I don’t think many evangelicals are having debates over this...they seem to think the scriptures have said enough. And I am pretty sure those old Pentecostals are not voting on anything...and yet...we are...well not voting...discussing. Well, someone is...I have heard we have some V_______d Scholars doing a lot of talking. That is not me....25 years in a factory and dropping out of VLI with just a summer session to go does not qualify you to be a V______D Scholar. No siree Bob. So we are talking about it...and it seems like it is a difficult talk. I have a friend nearby that as I tell him our leaders are almost ready to make a statement he says, every time, “So what Paul had to say was not good enough?” I have to shake my head and say, “Jim, Jim, Jim....haven’t you heard? There are many new ways to read the Bible. It is not simple.” He does not get it...well neither do I but I pretend like I do to try to make him feel bad. I mean you have to know the “original language” and what it means...but then you have to know what the original language meant before the 1850s. Because after that we got it wrong. You have to realize that most of the Bible is stories...not real stuff...stories to make a point. I know Jesus seemed to think the stories were real...but what can I say. Science...science is helping us understand the Bible now...really helpful guys, those scientist. I suppose we could look at science through a biblical lens...but it makes others happier if you look at the Bible though a scientific lens. Got it?

So then here we are...empowered evangelicals...waiting for our leaders to tell us how this all works. I have to admit...we obviously are much smarter than the average Den...Association of churches. How else could you explain us being here now? We are just quick learners....sorry you Lutherans and Episcopalians...I know it took you a loooong time to get what some would call...liberal...at least have liberal discussions. Not us....BOOM...we are there! The other day I got the word from headquarters...not yet out there for all our guys and gals. The paper I was waiting for to put this to rest...to lay down guidelines for our future. To slam it down in the table like a trump card and say, “Bam, there it is...now get with the program!” Got it. Wow! Disappointed. To say the least. Oh we did not completely disappoint...but kind of close...real close. You know I write this blog talking about my struggles with being a leader...I get it when you don’t want to lose friends by saying the wrong thing. I know what it means to be a people pleaser...so I know it when I see it too. I also know, after many hard and painful lessons, that is you don’t lead someone else will. If you don’t clarify and make a clear statement, someone will. (Now let me stop here a moment and say I truly believe the large majority of my tribe are still pretty conservative. I do not think we are a liberal group over all. But for us to be having these type of discussions over scripture is really, really strange on many levels.)

A really good friend of mine was in the Lutheran wing that decided to license and ordain LGBT. He and the leadership pulled his church out...simple really...he said the denomination had changed...he didn’t. They walked away from Biblical truth to play it safer and be more popular. He couldn’t....and neither would his church body. It was really simple in his eyes. And this guy was not a factory worker...he is a seminary trained guy who loves Jesus. I talked with him today...even he admits...we are really speedy learners.

Now I will get whacked here a little bit...the only thing I have going for me is not a lot of people read my blog. Unless you guys who do read it pass it around...then I might be in hot water. How did we get here? John Wimber and others got this thing going by allowing God to mess things up...to move. By staying true to the “main and the plain” as I just heard recently. You know we used to get a lot of “hate mail” as a movement. The Bible Answer guy did not like us....at all! And mostly over things the Holy Spirit was doing....making a mess. John, well, Lonnie Frisbee, taught us to say, “Come Holy Spirit.” and He came. Now we are kind of liked...accepted. Scientist like us...green people love us...scholars enjoy us. Yeah we are really main stream...but no longer in the stream we were in. The stream now is nice...slow...no mess...just drifting along...enjoying being liked. Except...where is the power? The Presence? Is using the right light bulbs going to save the drug addict down the street? If I agree with the scientist that our earth is really old, will he now like Jesus? Doubt it.

Soooo yes we have moved along at a fast pace. Personally I am like my friend Jim...I think Paul said it quite clearly...as did Moses. I think rather than looking at the original language maybe we should look at original intent and design. Just seems wise to me...and faith filled.

Oh well...Jesus still sits at the right hand of the Father....well...unless being on the right side makes Him a conservative...then maybe He is on the left...no that can’t be...Is He sitting on the Fathers lap? Do we still believe in heaven or did Rob Bell do away with that too. Oh man...I am too old for this. Come Holy Spirit...

What a Ride!

noreply@blogger.com (bill) — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 01:00:00 +0000

Barb and I were with some Pastor friends this afternoon and we began talking about odds and ends of things and the conversation came around to important encounters with God. This blog started out being called “Thoughts of a Reluctant Leader” so you can see I had some problems with being a leader. I got a little kick back and changed it to what it is now, “Thoughts From a Regular Guy.” I have kind of journaled here my struggle as I pondered leadership and all that it seems to mean to many. Boy many times I do relate to David when they tried to put Saul’s armor on him...uncomfortable and not very helpful...it just does not fit! So unlike the clothing we see out there where it says, “One size fits all” leadership is not like that at all. One size does not fit all...not even close.

So as we talked today we went over some of the events in the last few years that have had an impact on me so powerfully. I have had a few and being almost 62 years old I am afraid I may be repeating myself here but that is OK...it’s my blog anyway. I began to recount the encounter at a retreat called “Come Away With Me.” Awesome retreat held near Ashland, Ohio....highly recommend. Towards the end of the retreat during my one on one time with my spiritual advisor, I met Jesus, or really, Jesus met me in a powerful way. I have always struggled with feelings of inadequacy and more...like I did not have a voice. That whatever I had to say really did not matter...and I had better never question someone more important than me...which was pretty much everyone. I talked about how if I entered a room of leaders I felt like a fake and was afraid they would ask me to leave if they found out who I really was. I told my one friend, who had been a college professor at a Bible college, I would never dared to think I was his peer. Never. He had degrees...I had...25 years at Ford. He would never or has he ever made me feel less than...I did that. But it was how I lived. Then this encounter with Jesus...He gave me my voice back...tells me I do matter...and I do have value.

One person at the table eyes began to water...she not only could relate but she could feel the pain I had felt for all those years and wondered how I could live this out publicly...in front of my church...how painful it had to have been. You know it really was not that painful...the healing part especially. It was life giving...I got back what had been taken from me when I was about 13...my voice. And I live it out in front of my church family because some of them need to know there is always hope...always time for healing. Never too late. Not too late for her either. But this is the cool thing...I got to see right in the room my voice...my story mattered...to her and her story. Man, God is so good. I lived thinking I had nothing to offer...and now God is breathing on things I never thought He would...He can...if we let Him.

I talked about another encounter...another retreat...oh yeah...gotta love those retreats! This was for pastors only...Vineyard pastors...my tribe...my family. I think that is why this one had such an impact on me...it was my own spiritual family speaking into me. During the retreat each couple got to tell their stories...one hour per couple to tell all they wanted to. Barb and I were in a pretty good place thanks to all the stuff God has been doing and done in the other retreat. Our goal as a couple is to finish this race...and finish it well. So many we have seen crash and burn when they should be having the biggest affect.

So after you tell your story the other couples and the leaders of the retreat would speak words of affirmation to you...not prophetic things...what they saw about you that was good...that was God. It went on for quite a while....really nice people I think. Finally as it kind of was winding down one of the leaders asked me directly, “Bill did you hear what was said about you and to you?” I said sure...but you know they were nice people and they had to say nice things didn’t they? He then asked me again and then said, “Bill this IS what we see in you.” It connected...and I think it connected because it was my family speaking to me...my tribe...the people I love to journey with. It really means something when your family calls things out in you...it sticks. It has stuck...I see God doing so many cool things...even the meeting today was out of this overflow of God working in me...and me feeling like I have real value and things to share. Amazing!

Some of you can’t relate to what I am talking about...you are in a very different place and that is so cool. Others will know exactly what I am talking about...you feel the eyes looking you over...the questions on their faces. Now I hope you will experience God calling you out and restoring your voice...your calling. I hope if you hear or read nothing else but this...God is a healing, restoring God...and He loves you and believes in you. I hope your family or tribe will help you find your place...that they will call out the calling of God in your lives...they will affirm you and support you.

Before I began writing I was thinking of the healing Jesus did where the person had to turn and walk in another direction before the healing happened. I remember the lepers where Jesus simply said, “Go and show yourselves to the Priest.” And they went...and they were healed...one came back to praise God for his healing. I hope you will read this and understand that is what I am doing here...not bragging about the strides I have taken...but really I am overcome by how He has moved and healed...and I have to tell someone! My healing journey has been just that...a journey. Like the lepers I have had to head towards the temple to tell others about my healing...as I am being healed.

I admire and am so thankful for leaders who really do have it all together...but I would not trade my journey for theirs. John Wimber used to say that he would never follow or trust a leader that did not walk with a limp. Thank you John for making room for a guy like me...a regular guy...with a limp...and a healing.