Rithwikipedia

A Watercooler Moment

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 09 May 2010 19:44:00 +0000

This is the watercooler in my office:

It looks quite innocent and unthreatening. Helpful, even. And it is. In fact, the way it diligently dispenses cool water to the bored, half-dead bench force, might even lead the exceptionally naïve to momentarily believe that the ‘clear stream of reason’ has not lost its way into the ‘dreary desert sand of dead habit’.

But I digress. Let’s zoom in to uncover the secret that lay hidden before us in plain view. (Yes, I am channeling Dan Brown. Hopefully by the end of the year I’ll also. Write illogically broken. Sentences with superfluous italics. And sell. Millions of copies of banal thrillers. Millions.)

Now there is nothing quite interesting about the wave on the cooler until you see this…

Tada! This is the most well-known Japanese print called The Great Wave off Kanagawa, the first in Katsushika Hokusai’s series 36 views of Mt. Fuji. And if you remove the boats from this painting you pretty much get the image on the Aquaguard cooler with the Mt. Fuji intact!

I also found that this print has inspired Firefox themes and the logo of the surfwear firm Quiksilver, among possibly other stuff.

I have this nagging feeling that I have seen a similar wave logo somewhere else too, but I can’t quite remember where.

Tell me if it strikes you.

PS: Ironically, although it is the most recognized Japanese artwork, apparently the artist and this work are very un-Japanese, as explained here.

The Birthday Paradox

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 15:25:00 +0000

It's that time of the year again. Amazing how you blink your eyes and the rock you live on goes around the sun one whole time. It's been a long time. You must have forgotten how I sound. Except for my 211 'followers' here who occasionally heard me shout, whisper and cough.

Last year I tried an experiment. It was only modestly successul and the Elbonian government still stands. This time I won't run an experiment on you. I'll just tell you some tales and then wonder out loud.

Turns out that apart from being the birthday of the Internal Combustion Engine, Oersted, Danielle Steele, Johnny Lever, Rameez Raja and Halle Berry, yesterday was my birthday too. But what caught my fancy is how the Indian calendar conspired this time to make it the birthday of this Krishna dude too. He was this awesome guy who played around with cool weapons. I am not sure about his name though, for he was a cunning, power-broking kingmaker with multiple identities. Indeed, he was like a cross between Machiavelli and Jason Bourne.

One of his claims to fame is the time he infiltrated an army under the cover of an extremely chatty driver. He drove around his ride, some famous soldier called Arjun, to his favorite bar daily. Our man used to bore this Arjun guy with a lot of totally random philosophy. It was all part of the plan. One day he went on for hours at length after taking care to have locked all the doors of the vehicle. Arjun, who had already had eight pegs and two joints, went from being indifferent to irritated to hysterical to stark, raving crazy. Then our man, in the privacy of the vehicle showed him what he called the 'mega-me' with a solemn nod, smug smile and a mano cornuto. And that's when Arjun really, really lost it. He ran around pulling at his hair and shooting his relatives. Quite a stinky affair, if you ask me, but they did win the war in the end.

Now all this doesn't mean a thing to someone looking for some encouraging co-incidences to make a superstitious world believe that this year is going to be extra good for him. Here's what does: When he wasn't pushing people off the cliff of sanity, our hero was one helluva ladies' man! He was tall, dark and handsome and he liked his women in their birthday suits and if possible wet. So one day, while vacationing back in his village, he played his flute(just one of the many skills he picked up in spy school), hypnotized all the ladies living nearby and led them into a lake. (This would in later years give rise to the tale of the Pied Piper. Of course they would change the characters and theme and wouldn't acknowledge this fact. Instead they would make up an entirely fictional account of the origin.) Then while the confused women decided to take a bath as they already were wet, he stole their clothes and later appeared grinning on a tree branch. (This would inspire Lewis Caroll to come up with an equally elusive cat in his novel. And he too, wouldn't accept this origin.)

Even though all those involved in this little 'incident' enjoyed it, the elders of the village disapproved. "Not to worry," he told his playmates and proceeded to make arrangements for night-long parties in an undisclosed location. They played trance music and danced around in circles, only taking breaks to refill their glasses. This went on till a boring, but bossy bunch of bozos bearing bright bronze badges and bulging beer bellies, busted the blooming outfit. Krishna left town, never to return again.

So now, the questions I've been working my way upto, the ones I contemplate while this plays on in the background are: Will the girls, the ones who unlike me, believe in God, imaginary friends and other weird stuff, read much meaning into this co-incidence and suddenly think of me as a debonair lover? Will they want me to do kinky stuff? Will it freak me out and do I want attention from such crazy girls?

P.S. The title refers to this.

Dark Temptations, of the Indecent Kind.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 12:34:00 +0000

The Axe Dark Temptation ad has been banned in India. It has been labelled, 'indecent, vulgar and repulsive.'

Since previous ads have had similarly amorous stuff with real people involved, I am guessing the I&B Ministry just could not stand the trivialisation of chocolate. They have always held it close to their hearts for its charming character.

Although now, with sufficient publicity, people would seek out and see the ad, on youtube and elsewhere, just to find out why it was banned. And then maybe they would go buy Axes like never before.

Of course, if they just had to ban something to make up their ban quota for the year, I'd rather they ban the spread of misinformation, superstition and fear, by the likes of IndiaTV. But then these aren't remotely as terrible as the danger of girls all over the country breaking our noses for icecream toppings. Shudder. Or, horror of horrors, snack on our posteriors and fingers.

(Rashmi and Nikhil, point out other foolery. And call for bans of their own too - not the least as unwarranted, though!)

Healthy bans?!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 09:05:00 +0000

Baba Ramdev wants all the bars in Mumbai to be converted into yoga centres. Just as in the Cola Wars, he is promoting his own franchise by hitting at another.

That is all fine. Negative marketing is not as bothersome as banning. Bans are never a reason to rejoice. They just curb individual rights without serving the actual end. Gujarat, a dry state, has one of the highest consumption of alcohol - which is as it should be! Wink.

No one's forcing me to go to a bar, to drink, or involve with infamous bar dancers. But if I do decide to do the above, out of my own choice, I expect my decision to be respected. Somehow, a far removed group of people taking a moral high ground and deciding what is good for me, is something I am not okay with. But, that's just me. You may prefer dictatorial regimes to run your life for you.

Which is why I cringe when the Baba lauds the efforts of the Deputy CM of Maharashtra for banning dance bars in Mumbai. In fact, banning has probably been the single most unhealthy step for the dancers. I wouldn't be surprised to find a sizeable number of them afflicted by AIDS, by now.

I wonder what Baba has to say about Dr. Shilpa Shetty looting dilwalon ke dil ka karaar while also doing her yoga..

Further reading:
From Dance Bar Girls to Business Escorts.
Prostitution beckons India's former bar girls.
Dignity no bar.
India: Bar Girls Seek Rights.

Bengaluru, Take Your Pick: Dance or Booze.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 19:26:00 +0000

A couple of hours ago, I just watched half of a NDTV 24x7 talk show on the limitations imposed on nightlife in Bengaluru.

It included the state's Home Minister, the Police Commissioner and a moral-police sort of guy who could very well converse in English and yet kept letting out superfast streams of Kannada righteousness. (It is quite possible that he didn't subscribe to notions of free discussion. And so, insulated himself from the arguments of at least the non-Kannada speaking people in the studio.)

From what I gather, the new rules state, besides others that I may have missed:
a) No dancing where liquor is served.
b) Only recorded music. No live bands.

What great benefits this would bring forth, is beyond me. Not surprisingly, the stipulations are very vague. A nighclub owner asked the commissioner: What if a customer enjoys the music — recorded of course — and starts swaying or shaking a leg? He replied that a bit of dancing at his chair can do no harm. On being asked as to why he can dance at the chair but not when a bit afar, the commissioner didn't have much to say. He just said that a designated dance floor shouldn't be there. Promising a workshop to help the club owners understand the vague laws, he moved on, (amidst much laughter) to claim B'lore as the most liberal city in the world, compared even to London and other metros.

Anyway, one would think that, what people do, in places they go out of choice, would not concern the government, or any other group for that matter. (Unless they do illegal stuff, or harm and nuisance is caused.) I wonder how Bengaluru is feeling right now, being told what is right, by a group of people who have no business in meddling with individual lives and rights.

It turns out that the moral police had also raided a party to demand an end to the festivities. In a not much polite or legit a manner, I presume. Yet the authorities prefer to spend their time policing morals rather than acting on illegal occurrences. Pitiful, no?

Well, till things change keep practising the moves with the curvaceous chairs..

Letting the Pizza Grow

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 20:12:00 +0000

I have long been a fan of Don Boudreaux's letters to editors, which he frequently posts on Cafe Hayek. So little written, and yet so much conveyed.

A recent one addresses the income inequality issue:

Who among us sends our children to school or to the playground with admonitions to begrudge classmates or playmates possessing nicer clothing or fancier toys? Who among us counsels our youngsters to form schoolyard coalitions for forcibly confiscating expensive sneakers and video games from 'rich' kids for "redistribution" to poorer kids? Who among us would not scold our children for such envy, and punish them severely if they participated in such thievery?

Children should avoid envy and learn to thrive by producing rather than by taking. The same is true for adults.

I am tired of people giving me the whole poor-are-still-poor-and-rich-are-still-rich drivel. Of course they are. That's how things work. Besides, why be bitter about someone else becoming richer, unless of course, he does it by harming others?

Also, aren't we all richer than we once were? I think its better to have unequal slices of a sufficiently bigger pizza, than to have equal slices of a small one.

And say what you may, all efforts to achieve equal distribution, are impediments to the pizza getting bigger at all. For it strikes at the very way it grows: by competition and proportionate rewards.

(To read what James Michaels thought of Nehruvian pizza cutting, head here.)

An Independence Day Experiment

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 19:20:00 +0000

It seems Independence days in India generate obscene amounts of search traffic, year after year.

Considering that most of the traffic on this blog comes from search, I did what other bloggers all around are doing. (They won't admit it though.) I included Independence Day in the title to siphon off some traffic. But unlike the others I won't feed you jingoistic rhetoric, do economic analyses or talk about Abhinav Bindra. I shamelessly use this solely as an experiment to see what sort of an impact this has on incoming traffic.

Don't leave sullen-faced though. Now that you are here and didn't find the juice about the Independence Day, you might as well stick around for some time. Explore these pages. Poke around a bit, see if it bites.

You could start off by reading about IndiaTV. They are all the rage nowadays.

Or maybe you would be interested in Mexican Gods enraged by Bollywood, nymphomaniac bankers, or the confusing end to Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na.

Then again, you might be the kind who is turned on only by the likes of Celina Jaitley, Rakhi Sawant, dumb beauty queens, or Savita Bhabhi. (Who, not surprisingly, brings in most of my traffic and therefore deserves a place in this experiment.)

Anyway, Happy Independence Day!

Dear IndiaTV

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 19:00:00 +0000

Dear IndiaTV,

We are extremely delighted by your entertaining coverage of all that's happening around, or isn't. The other channels just show politicians shouting or throwing around some bundles of notes. Bah, bloody boring, I say! In fact, the guys at Fly You Fools are so happy with your content that they have made this artwork as a tribute.

Your informative programmes have been helpful to the kids here. Thanks to you, they now know that the world will end after 4 years, that there are Suvarna Machhlis and Jaldaityas in the Himalayan waters and that UFOs are hovering around to attack the earth. Of course, they are scared, but the truth just had to be told.

The footage you show is also stunning. Such awe inspiring graphics and deft camerawork! One would almost think that they are clippings of Hollywood movies like Deep Impact, Armageddon etc..

My neighbour's daughter, Champa, just ran away, to live with her lover, if only for the 4 years that remain. Only after the astrologer on your channel approved the alliance, mind you. The Guru helpfully noted that Rahu and Shani were in the 8th house and since they seemed happy together, they were unlikely to come to Champa's house - the 12th one on Daruwala street. Practical that the couple is, they have also stocked up little rockets. They plan to fire it off into space to attack or communicate with the aliens, as need be. We wish them a happy married life. If only the world wasn't destined to end four years hence, it could have been a long one too. Alas, it is not to be.

I wanted to send this mail at 8 o'clock today and become eligible for all the cosmic goodwill waiting to be bestowed on 08/08/08. But sadly all the auto drivers had gone to see the latest image of Sai Baba that appeared on Mukhiya-ji's wall. So I couldn't make it to the cyber-cafe in time. Well, I take solace in the fact that somewhere in West Central Africa it is 8 p.m as I post this. May the Baba bless us all.

Had met some of your reporters there. Strange though, I had seen them lurking around in the village yesterday night. They had some paint bottles too. I wonder why they were laughing so much.

Anyway, keep up the good work. Continue entertaining us. Thanks.

Regards

Bholaram
(On behalf of all the villagers of Teeveeneleliyahumrajaan)

Two Movies, Two Dilemmas

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 09:10:00 +0000

Finally, I saw 'The Dark Knight' and 'Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na'. Both the movies got me thinking on tangents.

Just before the credits roll in JTYJN the camera pans on to an old guy waiting(outside an airport) holding a board with 'Mr.Godot' written on it. Which is interesting because 'Waiting for Godot' is a play by Samuel Beckett. The play has two guys waiting for a Mr.Godot in vain. Does the filmmaker, at the happy end of a romantic film, want to convey that waiting for Love is just useless? Bleak, no? Well, maybe he just wants to convey that a long wait is often necessary.

But since these are not topics I am comfortable with, we move on to TDK:

In the movie, Joker puts bombs on two ferries with the respective remotes on the other ferry. Each ferry could save itself by detonating the bomb on the other ferry. Failing which he would explode both the bombs. In this situation it is quite clear what the players should do. Logically, each ferry had to press the button and destroy the other ferry, before they themselves are blown apart. Incidentally the ferries had humans on them, who typically use emotion to make decisions. They preferred being dead rather than live with blood on their hands. But since this is a Batman movie after all, the dark knight comes, stops the Joker and saves the day. Conversely, since this is not a Bollywood movie, he doesn't get the woman.

Though there is no dilemma here, it is interesting to see how it is not one. Also, it always helps if you know what to say to the cops, when you and your dealer are rounded up.

The classic 'Prisoner's Dilemma' is defined as:

Two suspects are arrested by the police. The police have insufficient evidence for a conviction, and, having separated both prisoners, visit each of them to offer the same deal. If one testifies ("defects") for the prosecution against the other and the other remains silent, the betrayer goes free and the silent accomplice receives the full 10-year sentence. If both remain silent, both prisoners are sentenced to only six months in jail for a minor charge. If each betrays the other, each receives a five-year sentence. Each prisoner must choose to betray the other or to remain silent. Each one is assured that the other would not know about the betrayal before the end of the investigation. How should the prisoners act?

The payoff matrix:


	Prisoner B Stays Silent	Prisoner B Betrays
Prisoner A Stays Silent	Each serves 6 months	Prisoner A: 10 years Prisoner B: goes free

Prisoner A Betrays	Prisoner A: goes free Prisoner B: 10 years	Each serves 5 years

Which in ‘win-lose’ terminology looks like this:

	Cooperate	Defect
Cooperate	win-win	lose much-win much
Defect	win much-lose much	lose-lose

While in the situation at hand, which is not a dilemma, the payoff matrix becomes:

	Ferry B does nothing	Ferry B presses the button
Ferry A does nothing	Joker blasts them both high in the air.	A sinks, B whistles a tune on its way to dry land.
Ferry A presses the button	A lives on guiltily, B gets its ass kicked.	Accidentally if such perfect timing is achieved, both sail on to Kingdom Come

And therefore:

	Cooperate	Defect
Cooperate	lose-lose	lose-win
Defect	win-lose	lose-lose

Contrary to the classic dilemma, if both the players choose not to hurt the other, they both lose. There is no incentive for co-operation, which is why they should have pressed the buttons, just as soon as they got it. They depended too much on the Batman, which is a foolproof strategy in the movies. The real world consequences are ill researched for now.

Anyway, keep watching movies and getting high. Just don't get busted!

P.S. Check out the external links in the Wiki article for more fascinating reads. Especially, the Bowerbird’s dilemma!

Goodbye, Mr. Carlin.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 17:36:00 +0000

Image by Getty Images via Daylife
"RIP George Carlin. It was wonderful having you around," I tweeted, when I got the sad news. But, the man himself wouldn't have believed in rest, much less in heaven or hell. He being an atheist and all. "Yo worms, here I come," he probably said.

I haven't seen or read as much of Carlin as I would like to. The first that I saw of him was in a clip about atheism from the stage show-'You are all deceased'(Transcript). He has been going on about that long before Dawkins & Co. came out, so to speak. This clip became a sleeper hit on the LAN, inspiring more downloads. Those were the times when Jenna Jameson lost the LAN popularity race.

So incisive was the speech that I know of agnostics who tip-toed onto our side. Though some devouts merely felt around for their popped eyeballs, clicked it back on and left, humming the 'Gayatri Mantra', some were moved. They cried with an abandon that comes with revelation. Like my uncle's old friend, who wept incontrollably after taking a swig for a first time at his retirement party. "Why didn't I try this before? Hic! Mary is bloody brilliant. Sob," he said, wiping his cheek.

Carlin was not just about rebuking religion and everyone around. It was social commentary, at its best. Inspite of his bad tongue and godlessness, which is viewed with tremedous distrust in America, he inspired a whole bunch of comics(Jerry Seinfeld remembers).

As Joe Pesci picks him up and flies away to, er, wherever he flies away to, it would probably be appropriate to leave you with one of his jokes. A gay one at that, given the latest fad of having pride parades in India.

Catholics are against abortions.
Catholics are against homosexuals.
But, I can't think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals! -- George Carlin

P.S. Here's the last interview Carlin gave if anyone is interested.

A letter to the un-boring yet not-so-interesting.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 19:16:00 +0000

Dear Unboring-friends-and-relatives-talking-stuff-that-is-boring-to-me,

I get the feeling that my relative silence and laconic replies, in get-togethers of recent times is being misconstrued as lack of friendliness, or possibly as hostility. The truth, of course, is far from it.

These occasions brought together husbands, wives, mothers and fathers, the roles of people I don't quite identify with, at least not yet. They sat together and dicussed, expectedly, family matters, childbirths, weddings, teething troubles and such like. I would be retarded not feel the odd one out. For obvious reasons, these are matters alien to me. And I am sure an inappropriate response - the kind I take sadistic pleasure in - wouldn't have been appreciated.

Such as it is, the least I can do and the maximum that you can ask of me, would be beatific smiles, intermittent understanding nods, and answers to direct questions. Smile, nod, smile, answer, nod, nod.. would be a nice routine.

What would be a cruel joke, is to ask me to participate. For verbose though I am, in certain like-minded circles, what should I do here? Make up stories about my girlfriend's first child and her divorce from the drug addict?

This is not a fault of yours, its just who you are now. Indeed it was a learning experience, observing as I was, in amused detachment.

Sincerely,
Bored.

The Bhabhi. 'Hot' News. Get the full story.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 11:56:00 +0000

Savitabhabhi, over a short period of 2 months has ascended to great heights. She also inspired a lot of debate, and become the cause of much mirth and exercise to lots, along the way.

An entertaining star that she is, she was bound to be called a threat to Indian Society one day. The moral police doesn't seem to have fallen for her charms... so far. As always, it would to do you good to see greatbong 'nail' the issue.

Personaly, I'd rather not curb the individual rights of Deshmukh, Dextar and Mad. Not to mention, of the Bhabhi herself. The unimpressed few who stand horrified, should probably just stay away. Or perhaps, they could be handed over to the bhabhi herself. Surely, after her convincing arguments, they won't be as 'rigid' as before.

But, lets just leave all that to them and talk about the really interesting part.

Pschologists say that the excitement over Savitabhabhi is partly fueled by the suspense and anticipation, since the story is told page by page. One would have to wait about a month for the whole story to be told. This improves the impact of the story, even if the content might lack substance.

If it were true, and I suspect it is, the hack that follows, would be sort of a spoiler. But I don't care, for I can no longer bear to see fellow fans writhe in agony, hyperventilating and waiting for their daily fix.

No more, my friend, no more. The moment the first page of a story is uploaded, you can grab the whole story, despite what the creators want.

1. Open one page -> Right click on the image -> Copy image location
2. Paste the URL into a download manager (I use Free Download Manager)

The URL would look like something like this this:

3. Keep changing the number in the circled part and downloading the images till the story ends.

Opening the images using such edited URLs, in the browser is not possible. You can ONLY download them. For better reading experience you can use sequential image display readers like CDisplay, which you can download from here.

Happy reading. May the bhabhi live on..

Bainsla ka Fainsla

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 12:50:00 +0000

Kirori Singh Bainsla says :

"I thank the Railway Minister as we are sitting on these rail tracks for 15 days. We will repair the railway tracks in whatever ways we can once we leave this place."

We all are very happy to have KSB & Co. as state guests. We loved the opportunity to host you so, by stopping trains and creating losses - 'Athithi Devo Bhava,' after all.

The talks our government and they, have had on the rail tracks have yielded a lot of progress. And unlike other ungrateful state guests he even graciously thanks the Minister for the hospitality. Ah, the humility. He will also clean up the heaps of waste and reimburse the government crores of rupees to make up for the losses.

Thank you Mr.Bainsla.

A sniff of the teabag

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 13:15:00 +0000

Much has happened, much except blogging. A whole semester is over, the last one of my engineering. Videos have been made, quizzes have been won. Tears have rolled, byes have been said. Hostel life has kissed me goodbye. Slowly I resign to a dull world, a world of bathing daily.

Drunk on Indian love, the mother has been feeding copious amounts of random stuff. I hear it makes some people feel loved. I don't feel anything, except when some weird bitter gourd 'delicacy' is dropped on to my unsuspecting plate. I can only begin to understand the layers of meaning in the accompanying, 'Hmpf'. Maybe it is the satisfaction of filling me with nutrients, maybe it is not-so-sweet revenge of all the troubles I have caused. One wonders.

At home there pretty much isn't anything to do, except trying to rein in the hostel bred language. Which leads me to my new-found respect for the word "Mannamkatta". It has served me well in these testing times, standing in, time and again as a substitute for the more colourful and popular M-Word.

A lot remains to be said. They might sneak their way out to the blog. Then again, they might not. Either ways, the unwritten will continue adding taste to the written. Like the teabag which never found its way to my stomach.

Hips don't lie

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 10:05:00 +0000

After we covered the assets of Celina Jaitley and Dia Mirza, we did the natural thing.

We wondered, why Rakhi Sawant rolled her 'arse'?

After much investigation, we find it's...

...because her American accent trainer told her to roll her 'R's.

Well, can't blame her for trying to improve! We wish her all the best.

[Written for CircusMouse]

Bankers, the interesting types

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 21:25:00 +0000

What did they call the nymphomaniac banker?

They called her a f---'ING Veshya'.

Heh! like she cares. She is out there selling selling herself to the bidders. TCS, Wipro, Infy, Capgemini are all in the race. And she seems to have an eye for wealthy Indians too.

[Crossposted]

Sreesanth and the taste of India

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 01:21:00 +0000

I am a fan of Amul, as are most of us here. They have this way of coming up with deliciously funny hoardings, they call topicals.

Acting how he does, Sreesanth was bound to get some screen time from them.

After praising his dancing skills (after the six against South Africa)...

...Amul now, tells him to stay calm!

Though many would agree with Amul, they would also accept that this report goes over the top(much like Sree himself), when it says this!

"If Andrew Symonds wasn't such a gentle fellow, India's Shanthakumaran Sreesanth's nose would probably be plastered all over his leering face.

The Hindu and occasionally Christian bowler can thank all his gods that the secular Queenslander is a man of peace and tranquility."

In other news, he is writing songs, acting in music videos and is being offered movies. "After that, if I have time I will practise bowling", he says. Ok, I made up the last line.

[Crossposted]

Of surveys and carnal acts

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 19:30:00 +0000

We are a nation of voyeurs. Even so, I never saw India as a place where sexual pleasures were to be found in abundance. Though this could just be the South Indian me, I have my doubts.

Things being as they are, it was natural for me to do what I did when I saw this report. Elbow propped on the table, eyes near the screen, hand on the mouse. Tears of joy streamed down my cheeks as I marveled at how much we Indians have developed in the field of physical intimacies. I heard my notions of Indian sex take a long fall. Thud. Music to my ears.

But such delight was short lived. Of course, such reports are to be enjoyed, never to be taken seriously. Much like ‘Aap Ka Surroor : The Moviee : The Real Luv Story’. Once you leave all logic behind you will revel in the absolute lack of semblance to the real world. Sadly though, you always come back to your senses.

While many would try to tell you about how we are rediscovering the ancient Indian art of being comfortable with their sexuality and with their partners. Let them not fool you. Smallsquirrel(depressing) and GreatBong(more entertainingly so) will tell you the real story.

The report, judging by the usual Indian respect for surveys, must have been a very jolly affair.

“Arey. Tere sirf 2 hi lovers hain. Hah! Mere to 28 hai.[You’ve got only 2 lovers. Hah! I’ve got 28]”

Chuckling within, he writes 34. The other one meanwhile takes sweet revenge as he writes down ‘69’ with vengeance, smiling at his own private joke. Such is life.

Now, as much as you would want me to go on, I have to stop. I can’t go on much longer with all these girls pulling at me, you know. Monica, Pavlina… here I come. And you too Riya..

Update: Ist tguoh tpiyng wehn u hev a hottei on yuor lap. In'st it?

Update: Sepiamutiny has its say.

Nehru - Worst disaster to hit India

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 07 Oct 2007 18:12:00 +0000

James W. Michaels was one of the senior most journalists in the business. After a US Army stint in the second world war, he set up the New Delhi bureau of United Press Intl. Following which he moved on to Forbes, where he stayed on for 45 years.

He was the first to report on the assassination of Mahatma Gandhi. This is ranked among the top 100 greatest news reports of all time. He passed away on the eve of Gandhi Jayanti.

In this interview with Outlook(2001) he spoke on India.

About the growth of India so far, which by what he says, was unexpected for many. -

"...I think most of us who were observing it then thought the country would break up, and that parts of it might revert to some kind of totalitarian rule. But out of that has developed a functioning democracy, a country that has had good economic growth—though not as good as one would have liked—and it takes its place among the leading nations of the world. So that's not bad, considering the inauspicious beginnings."

What is to be noted, though, is what he says about Nehruvian Socialism, which pretty much defined the way our economy behaved until recent times. Only after the 1991 reforms did things even begin to look up.

"...Nehru, though we loved him and admired him at the time, was probably the worst disaster to ever hit India, at least in economic terms. (In India Unbound, by Gurcharan Das), it's said that Nehru was basically a Brahmin snob, and he did not like business people. Instead of the government getting out of the way and letting the market allocate business resources, the government did it. And the result was an incredible waste of resources.The way to fight poverty is not by chopping the pie in smaller pieces but figuring out how to make a bigger pie." [Emphasis mine]

The government still gets in the way and the bigger pie many times never makes it to the oven. Thanks to the regulations.

"...what would've happened if Nehru hadn't been affected with this socialism. Rajagopalachari didn't want the government to get involved (with the economy), he thought the American model was right for India. And Sardar Patel also did not want all this socialism. But south India got marginalised in the early days. So Nehru did whatever he wanted."

After all these years, we still haven't learned enough.

Bhool Bhulaiyaa

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 20:03:00 +0000

Mumbai based advocate S Kunjuraman, seems to have enjoyed his private moments with himself watching the song Hare Rama Hare Krishna from the soon to release(Oct 12) Bhool Bhulaiyaa.

Consumed by guilt, he has taken it upon himself to safeguard the sentiments of Hindus and Buddhists everywhere. Apparently we are all hurt that half-clad girls are shown dancing right in front of a Buddha statue while Hare Rama is played.

“It is objectionable and therefore, the song must be deleted from the film”, he says.

It scares me. I hear in some parts of the world, white is taken to be a very pure colour and anyone degrading it is held in contempt. Considering the colours I use on this blog, I might be hurting them by using black on white. They might even tell me to delete the posts. Maybe I should shift to using green on red. Only if the Greenlanders and the algae in the red sea don’t object, that is.

Such changes would soon have to be done. Meanwhile, since Kunju-Raman[little raman] is such an obvious belittlement of Ramen and hence by extension, an insult to my revered God, Flying Spaghetti Monster, I call for his deletion from this world.

P.S. -
[If you do go read the rediff article you would note that many readers are trying to figure out which movie is a copy of which. Just so you know. Manichitrathazhu(Malayalam) was made in 1993. It was remade in Kannada as Apthamithra(it doesn’t seem to have an IMDb entry), following which Chandramukhi(Tamil) was made in 2005. And now we have Bhool Bhulaiya. Personally I think the original is unmatchable. The voters on IMDb concur with a startling 9.4/10]

Curse of the Chaac

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 21:13:00 +0000

We have seen much rain and thunder these days in Surat.

Would it have something to do with the success of 'Chaac de India'? We wonder.

Lord Chaac, like all Gods, is sensitive about usage of his name. SRK & Co. shall repent in Mayan hell, where the Chaac sings 'Aashiq Banayaaa..' through his long pendulous nose.

[cross posted on circusmouse]

Vision 2020

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 21:18:00 +0000

As much as I like our ex-president for the great things he has done, including funky hairdos, making nuclear bombs and writing books(in decreasing order of greatness), this post is not about his vision for the superpower that India would be in 2020.

There are certain quaint connections though. He loves the youth of the nation. And I love them even more. Indeed, I am a huge fan of them. They rule. (Wow. It feels good to inflate the ego!). And this is about them.

This is a 'Vision' of '20 20' world cup finals as soaked in by the highly evolved, intellectually superior, all powerful and magnificiently sublime life forms who reside in the hostels of NIT, Surat.(Seriously, this does feel good!)

The Match. House-full.
We won.
The discussions would no doubt follow.....and the game would be torn apart into little pieces and put under a microscope.
Awards Ceremony. House-notsofull.

Every great story has a certain someone in pain. MNH is our man. Firmly seated cross-legged he quietly contemplated his misfortune. He missed the last ball.

The pain.

I know the photos are not good. Also it does no justice to the actual joyous chaos, seconds into the victory. But in my defense, the superior life form that I am(Really, this is so good. I am getting addicted to it), I was actually taking a video which captured the event more juicily.

Meanwhile, the Indian in Mexico, is still in the lead after round 11. He won thrice. Things are looking good.

Of cartoons

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 22 Sep 2007 00:03:00 +0000

Can you blame them? Even I used to fight over cartoons. More so when my grandmother wanted to see some serial instead, the actresses of which, were selected solely on their ability to cry.

Only I was 9 then and didn’t burn stuff, kill people, arrest them or fling expletives at Cartoon Network for insulting dear Unicorn, whom I so dearly worship. Nor did I tell them to stop demeaning those aliens, who had so generously given me my superpowers.

I just let them draw whatever they wanted to.

Anand wins again

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 23:05:00 +0000

In the dangerously cricket infected times and regions we live in, may I point you to an Indian winning elsewhere. It might irritate people how I even mention chess when I should be talking about kiwis, tigers and kookaburras. But I am not a huge fan of animals. Much less of birds. I do like chicks though. But of a different kind.

It pains me, just as it does SK, how the media hugely disregards chess. Especially when Anand seems to be on the way to winning the World Chess Championship at Mexico. He has won twice, and is in the solo lead now.

P.S. The games are webcasted live here.

Avast! matey!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 23:02:00 +0000

Ahoy! Aye, the talk like a pirate day has come and gone. Brings more of the grog and hornpipe fun, no doubt. C’mere, me beauty. Arrr!

And you land lubbers who have no idea of what's going on. Learn stuff. Smartly, me bung holes..

Such fun it is. Especially the pick-up lines. My respect for Mr.Sparrow is almost touching them, jolly rogers. And it flutters with joy in the high winds.