Living Like Kings(burys)

Christians Arguing on Social Media: Somebody Please Make it Stop

2015-12-29T14:26:00.000-06:00

This little blog of mine, where I used to opine. It's been a long while with no new posts to file...:)

But...I'm dragging out my soapbox and dusting it off now to step up and address something that I feel needs to be discussed. Cordially and respectfully. I hope.

Before I continue, I would like to request that you read this blog entry in it's entirety before forming an opinion. I know, wishful thinking, right? But still, I believe that you can do it. So, if you could just humor me and hang in there for the next few minutes, that'd be great.

I just spent a very depressing and impotently frustrating several minutes reading the comments on a Facebook post by Ricky Gervais that happened to pop up on my newsfeed. (Yeah, thanks a lot to whomever shared that one...). Here is what he posted...

"There have been nearly 3000 Gods so far but only yours actually exists.The others are silly made up nonsense. But not yours. Yours is real."
If you want to read it for yourself, here you go: https://www.facebook.com/rickygervais

Three tiny little sentences. Meant to be snarky and controversial. He laid out some juicy bait, waited for a nanosecond, and then got exactly what he was hoping for. It was beautifully executed for his purpose. Just like taking candy from a baby. *sigh*

First, came the atheists and agnostics and internet trolls, doing virtual high fives and posting memes with cartoon 'Jesus' images depicted in various situations, (some really disgusting ones, I might add) and other disrespectful and condescendingly arrogant and dismissive comments followed. It was interesting to me that for some reason, practically every comment that was a response in agreement with the original post, mentioned only one religion. Christianity. That's the cool thing right now. It's trendy to hate on Christians for their beliefs, don'tcha know? No mention that I could see of Krishna or Buddha or Vishnu and certainly not Allah. Because of course.

I wasn't terribly surprised by this but I did find it compelling. I think they target Christians in these situations because it's just more fun. We are predictably easy marks. I say this because just as quickly as the comments began, here came the Facebook crusaders armed for battle with Bible verses (many out of context) and links from Answers in Genesis, etc. There was outrage. Insults were thrown around. Self professed Christians were getting their undies in a bunch and throwing around phrases like "Well, you're an f-ing idiot!" Ignorance was mentioned (on both sides, rightly so) People were being damned to hell and castigated for being blasphemous heathens (I'm paraphrasing but I'm not too far off), and frankly, they weren't all wrong. the things that were said and some images and jokes were pretty heinous. Still, it's not the message I have a problem with. It's the method. I was groaning out loud and shaking my head. Literally.
Please, my dear brothers and sisters... tread carefully or better still, please just stop. You mean well but you're making us look foolish and reactionary and in some cases, are just making the whole situation worse. There. I said it.

When did this kind of inflammatory and angry reaction to criticism ever win over a single soul? How can we make a case for Christ when we are jumping into the fray armed with righteous indignation and being confrontational, unloving, unforgiving and so easily upset? It boggles my mind. It really does. In many cases, when we engage, we only do so out of pure emotion. We react to our tender feelings. No matter how well meaning, it's a slippery slope and many lose their footing by becoming offended, emotional, angry and defensive. At that point, the victory in the war of words belongs to the unbeliever. The hope of winning the real battle, the battle for a lost soul, seems a moot point amid all of the posturing and debating. Speak out for Jesus? Yes! Absolutely do, but with self control and truth not insults and arguing. Think about it. Jesus was chill. He didn't roll that way. Are you with me so far?

Ok, good. So here's the part where I call myself out for being just a little bit of a hypocrite. I once used this very blog that you are reading right now to verbally rip into some atheist activists who got under my skin regarding a lawsuit they filed about the giant iron cross at the 911 memorial museum. If you are interested, you can read that post at your leisure. http://livinglikekingsburys.blogspot.com/2011/07/you-havethe-right-to-remain-silent.html

In my defense, I was not arguing with anyone in this post, merely letting off steam. Since this is a small blog that reaches a limited audience, there was no controversy. Just me and my humble opinion, which I'm certainly entitled to. I'm also relatively sure the atheists I was referring to in my post never even knew they were being addressed by me. No harm, no foul. I only bring this up to make a point.

I understand the indignant outrage. I understand the desire to squash the ridiculous misconceptions and outright lies being thrown around on social media about who we are and what we believe. Especially about WHY we believe. The problem is that grace, mercy, repentance and salvation are really difficult to explain to someone who has never 'been there.' The transforming power of Jesus is a very real but also very personal experience. It is something you can witness in others but unless you are seeking it, is a very difficult concept to grasp. God meets us at the level of our expectations. If you believe He is nothing, He is nothing to YOU. That is the difficulty we face as we lead our lives with a desire to reach the world for Christ. We are to be be the hands and feet of Jesus. Unless we are called to that ministry, we may not be spiritually equipped to be the mouthpiece. We can be satisfied with living an example of humility and service. His word can speak for itself. Jesus is completely capable of using us as He sees fit in the lives of others when we, ourselves, are living examples of His love and light. I think it is hard to use us as examples of His love and forgiveness...of salvation and redemption when we are combative and defensive and angry at those who simply do not accept Him or understand Him for whatever reason. They are given free will to choose not to believe. They laugh at us and they mock us, they treat us with arrogant disdain and in some parts of the world, truly persecute us. But, wait...why are we, as Christians, so surprised? Didn't Jesus tell us in His own words that this kind of stuff was going to happen? Of course He did. Check it out.

John 15:18-27 NLT
The World’s Hatred

"If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you. Do you remember what I told you? ‘A slave is not greater than the master.’ Since they persecuted me, naturally they will persecute you. And if they had listened to me, they would listen to you. They will do all this to you because of me, for they have rejected the one who sent me. They would not be guilty if I had not come and spoken to them. But now they have no excuse for their sin. Anyone who hates me also hates my Father. If I hadn’t done such miraculous signs among them that no one else could do, they would not be guilty. But as it is, they have seen everything I did, yet they still hate me and my Father. This fulfills what is written in their Scriptures: ‘They hated me without cause.’

"But I will send you the Advocate—the Spirit of truth. He will come to you from the Father and will testify all about me. And you must also testify about me because you have been with me from the beginning of my ministry.

God doesn't need you or I to get all hot and bothered with internet commenters who do not believe in Him. He can defend himself. What we can do is ignore the haters, choose not to engage and keep our feelings out of it. These countless people on social media are not the problem and should not be the focus of our angry rants. They should be the focus of our prayers and our loving forgiveness. Why? Because we are not in conflict with people. They don't realize what they are missing out on. They don't really care to know. It's not a people problem, it's a spiritual problem.

Ephesians 6:12(NLT)
For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

Jesus said it best when He said, "Forgive them, Father they know not what they do." He said a lot of really cool things like that. I love the red-lettered King James version!

How about this for a New Years Resolution:

Try your best to not feed the trolls and haters. Don't take the bait, and no matter how tempting, choose not to engage.

Except this one thing... this is for Ricky Gervais:

(who will most likely never, ever, ever read this, so it's ok to respond to him, lol)

"I can't speak to 3,000 other gods and I don't disrespect other people's religions as nonsense but this one thing I know to be true; my God is the one true God. He is real and He reigns! He loves you and He's longing to be good to those who are looking for His goodness. He wants a relationship with you. Yes. Even you!! Keep your head up and your mind and your eyes wide open because God works in mysterious ways. I'll be praying for your awakening!"

Happy New Year!

Blessings,

~Cat

My Thoughts on Ferguson...

2014-11-29T11:05:00.000-06:00

We are one race...the human one. With lots of beautiful and unique varieties and cultures. Just love one another. Focus on our commonalities and realize that all of us are here, sharing space on this earth, at the same time. We are an imperfect species, all of us. But...we can do better by each other. Listen to each other. Stop the hate and unrest. Nothing to be gained by shouting and disrupting and violence. No one ever respects you more because you're yelling and being intimidating. They only listen because you are yelling and being intimidating. How is that a victory that means anything? Submission bought by fear is not respect. It shouldn't be the ultimate goal. You want to be heard? Be respectful in your speech and say something that produces positive results. a lot of people are doing that. A lot of people are not.

This picture says more about the REAL status of relationships in our country than all of the images of anger and raised fists. Love conquers all. I am a white woman who happens to love and adore my family of all races and ethnic groups. And they love me back! You hear me? I really, genuinely love them ALL and nothing will ever change that. I hurt when they are hurting. I celebrate their successes. I hold their hands and hug their necks. I pray with them and sing and worship with them. I see the struggle and I know it is REAL. We are all created equal and should be treated accordingly. I couldn't agree more! Things need to change. We all see that. But now what?
I'm tired of hearing all of this division and strife on behalf of this one incident. Protests will not undo what happened. They can't bring Michael Brown back. Let this young man rest in peace now. Let his family begin to grieve properly. Let the healing process begin.

The grand jury decision will not be changed because of protests. Justice has been served. Maybe not the justice some wanted or were expecting, but it is what it is. The legal system worked as it is intended to. Not by mob rule, but by existing laws. There is no going back. No amount of civil disobedience or burned out businesses or mall closings or traffic obstructions will alter that reality. What can be done now to move forward to effect POSITIVE change? That should be the conversation we are having at this point. How can we be the change we want to see? Our children need adults and representatives to look up to and emulate. They need to see us respecting each other and listening to each other with the intent to understand. Seeing rioting and looting and disrupting Christmas tree lighting ceremonies and frightening little kids who showed up to sing carols (last night in Seattle) is not going to improve race relations. It only widens the gap of frustration and distrust. There's enough of that going on already, don't you think? We need to stop acting out in anger. Having a four month long nationwide temper tantrum over this issue is not bearing good fruit that will sustain anything positive long-term. I'm sorry but it won't. We just keep picking at a wound that cannot heal properly until we carefully nurture it, tend to it and give it time.

This article gives me hope. This picture makes me cry. We can't say that all police officers are racist. It simply isn't true. We can't say all black youth are thugs and criminals. It simply isn't true. Let's be honest with ourselves. Plenty of black and Hispanic cops are unfortunately racist. Plenty of young white kids are certainly thugs and criminals. The truth is that we all should be seen and judged fairly individually, not collectively, by the content of our character and not by the color of our skin. We should all expect consequences appropriate to our choices and actions. We should all be accountable and take personal responsibility for our own behavior. I love the message of the kid in this picture. He was brave enough to stand out in the crowd and offer free hugs in a climate of unrest. I wish I could hug him and wipe away his tears myself. The officer came forward and asked for a hug. They talked and embraced and shared a beautiful human moment. They both made a difference. The best kind.
Because when all is said and done, love is healing. Love covers a multitude of sins. Love conquers ALL.

I pray for a day when we can all move forward in love and in peace, hopefully somewhere on this side of forever.

Just my opinion...

Blessings,

Cat

Mouse Droppings, Mud Daubers and Dreams

2014-04-24T18:16:00.002-05:00

I have dreams, y'all. Big, audacious ones. For instance, I'm in the process of writing a novel. I am in no way qualified or have a literary degree nor do I possess any other educationally relevant document that says I can legitimately claim the ability do so. But really...who cares about all of that, since I've just decided to go ahead and do it anyway. I have, by my own personally-sanctioned authority and by the powers vested in me by my ownself, officially declared that I am a legitimate author. Yes.You can do that. See? I just did.

I say I'm in the process but I don't want to be misleading you in any way and confuse that with any measurable progress at this point. Figuratively speaking, I've dipped my toe into the pool but don't actually have my swimsuit on yet. I'm struggling with the fact that there just don't ever seem to be enough big blocks of time to really dive in and deeply immerse myself in the process the way I want to. I've just had another birthday and time seems to really be racing by, creating in me a sense of urgency that makes me want to go full-on Nike and 'JUST DO IT' already! I'm inspired. I'm motivated. I'm positively bursting at the seams with creative ideas, twists and turns, and dialogue for this book which I've already basically completed in my mind. All I need to do is to simply transfer this information from my brain and into the computer, then tweak it a little, you know? Sounds pretty do-able when you put it that way. Grab your snorkel, hop in and just keep swimming, right? Yeah...not so much.

Honestly, that is precisely what I have planned to do about eleventy-bazillion times over the past few months or so, but to no avail. Life just keeps happening. Today, I was convinced that I was finally going to dive in and I was so excited. David took the kids to school. I sorted laundry, put in a load, did the dishes and went outside to the back deck, armed with a cup of coffee, my iPad, my trusty companion (Sparky the Chihuahua-nator, who diligently keeps the squirrels at bay) and tons of creative inspiration. I was determined to really put a dent in it this time. How did it go? You guessed it. Not well. Just as soon as I started writing, I was hijacked again by another tedious interruption because Sparky the squirrel scout began barking furiously at the rear garage door. I went over to get him to chill out, because he was seriously disturbing my groove. As I looked down in the direction he was barking, I saw to my horror (insert scary movie music here)...a bunch of mouse droppings and fuzzy stuff coming out from under the garage door. I know. Awesome, huh?

Now, you may be thinking to yourself that I could have just waited for David to come home and deal with it. Truthfully, I considered that. Then I reminded myself that my husband works insane hours, is exhausted when he gets home, and rarely gets the opportunity to really relax during the times that he's here with us. So, I chose to brave the garage and investigate. And I learned a few things during that investigation. Here they are in random order:

Storing bird seed in the garage for the winter is pretty much the equivalent of posting a blinking neon sign welcoming all nearby rodents to come on in and enjoy a luxurious buffet 'on the house'.

Mice and their friends and family members are extremely messy eaters and they poop and pee indiscriminately and prodigiously.

Mice can chew up pretty much anything they want to and turn it into a cozy (albeit disgusting) little nest for themselves.

My darling husband is one of the smartest guys I know but he does things that I'll never understand. Such as: Putting a bunch of random screws and nails into a small container and balancing it precariously on top of a bunch of other random stuff that is also balanced precariously on a shelf. All of which fell into the massive collection of empty sunflower seeds, mouse poop and other gross stuff I had just swept up into a pile. Which led me to my next discovery...

Shop Vacs are AWESOME. They can really suck up virtually anything. As it happens, they can even suck up random screws and nails like a champ! Good to know. Wanna know something my husband apparently doesn't know?

You should probably clean out the Shop-vac filter a bit more often than say, EVERY TEN YEARS OR SO. I'll just say "Eeewwww!" and leave it at that. *shudder* Never. Again.

Apparently, mice enjoy chewing up colored sidewalk chalk. Who knew? I'm still uncertain as to whether the Easter confetti appearance of their droppings was actually produced inside of the mice or just as a result of the chewing. I'll leave that one up to the mouse experts to ascertain. Yuck.

Carpet remnants left over from the Christmas parade need to be discarded and not stored in the garage. The carpet still contains numerous staples, one of which became embedded in my foot. (Hope my Tetanus shot is up to date...)

Dirt Daubers apparently build their creepy little dirt kingdoms waaaay back in the nooks and crannies of my garage that we never see unless I am cleaning up a bunch of mouse poop. Shop Vacs work for those as well. The wasps are evidently VERY protective of their icky mummified bug handiwork.

Thankfully, you can suck up angry wasps with a Shop Vac, too! Yep, right out of the sky where they fly! I'm not gonna lie. I found that to be a very satisfying exercise, indeed.

If you sweep the little garage door sensors too vigorously, they will be misaligned somehow and the doors will not function. I'm totally leaving that one up to the hubby to sort out. I'm so done.

The Shop Vac company probably should hire me to be their next spokesperson.

Two and a half hours and a punctured foot later, I just wasn't in the mood to do anything except take a long, hot shower and spray myself directly with Lysol. From head to toe. Also, a call to the exterminator was in order. The last thing on my mind was the creative process, dialogue or character development of my book. Although, for grins and giggles and just to make the whole thing worthwhile...I may weave a mouse home invasion into the story line somehow. Yes. I may have to do just that.

You know what? It's all good. In this season of my life there will sometimes be necessary and often messy interruptions. No matter what life throws at me, I'm determined as ever to get this book done. Dream delayed but not dismayed. It may take me until after my kids graduate. From college. Be that as it may, I will complete this endeavor and I humbly believe it will be a whopping success. It really is a great story (if I do say so myself) and based on what I know for sure about God, it will not be late in coming out and will be right on time for whomever is intended to read it. Hopefully it will be some of you. And hopefully, I used 'whomever' correctly in that sentence above. I guess I should know that. You know...what with me being an official author and all.

For now, I must boldly go and complete some rather mundane mommy tasks. There is laundry to finish. Dinner to serve. Hubby is working late. Again. The kids are home and as per usual, they have left their socks and various items that they tracked in from school laying all over the floor and I...hey, wait a minute...

Oooh! I just had a flash of brilliance. Gotta go get the Shop Vac. Woohoo! Until next time...

Oh, wait...before I go, I'll leave a quick tip for all of you guys out there. You're welcome.

Truth.

Blessings,

~Cat

What Do You DO All Day?

2014-02-11T12:53:00.006-06:00

Good day so far. I went to the gym and made it 45 minutes on the exercise bike. Went to the store, grabbed some stuff and have beef stew in the crock pot. I'm currently set up by the fire, resting my knee, listening to piano music and getting ready to work on my book as soon as I log off of FB. Don't be too impressed, though. I'm only mentioning these accomplishments because they are not exactly typical. I'm feeling good about it and just wanted to share.

One of the moms at the gym asked me the other day what my job was. I said that I'm a stay home mom. As usual this was followed by the question "Oh? How old are your kids?" After I told her I waited for the standard response and she didn't disappoint. "OMG, your kids are in school and you stay home? Wow. What do you DO all day? I would be so BORED."

*sigh*

Let me clear this up. I owe no one a justification for how I spend my day. Neither do you, whether you have a 'real job' or are a SAHM or are a single mom or dad or whatever! How I spend my day is between me and the man who pays my bills and supports and encourages me to do exactly what I'm doing. I am Pro-parent. Period. We all do what we do according to our particular resources and desires. We should be supporting one another and lifting each other up. I spend a lot of my time doing just that. Pouring love and encouragement into others. I feel am called to do this and I find it very fulfilling. I believe it is time well spent, though I don't receive monetary compensation for it. Loving others and encouraging them is never boring.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I had my children quite a bit later in life. We planned and saved for a family for seven LONG years, believing in faith that we would be blessed with children. I was another rat running the race for a LOT of years. I've worked and supported myself since I was 16 years old and worked right up until I became pregnant with my first child, 11 years ago. My husband and I agreed that from then on, being a mom my would be my primary vocation. I'm grateful for the ability to do this and I know I am fortunate. I know some people think I'm wasting my life being devoted entirely to children who will eventually grow up and move on to begin their own lives and leave us with an empty nest. But don't worry about me. This is what we have sacrificed and saved for. My children are my everything in this season of my life and I'm giving it all I've got for them right now. Still, I have big plans and dreams that are not going unfulfilled. My life is FULL. I am writing a blog and working on my first novel. I'm singing on the worship team. I warm the bleachers several nights a week while my kids practice gymnastics. I have a best friend who loves me and I plan to keep devoting myself to him as long as God allows. Sounds boring to you? Maybe even (gasp) self indulgent? That's okay. I understand where you're coming from. But here's the truth...I'm not asking for more than that. I don't want to run a company or climb a corporate ladder. Believe me, I could if I wanted to...that's just not the choice I have made. If it is your thing, then I say GO FOR IT! Do it. Be the best career oriented mom or dad or even single person you can/want to be. If you must work to provide for your family, I applaud your stamina and perseverance for balancing a busy life! I really do admire you. Hardest thing ever. No judgment here. How about this? You do you. I'll do me. Easy enough.

Because I have this opportunity does not mean my life is easy and I don't experience challenges and difficulties. I certainly do. Still, I won't minimize your successes or your challenges and I would ask the same of you. Life is hard. Parenting is hard. Regardless of our status, whether single or married or whatever. Let us all celebrate one another. Ask me for help if you need it. Ask me for prayer if you need it. Call me or message me and you will find me ready to embrace you and love you through any difficulties you may be facing. I'll dance the happy dance with you when things go your way. This is the best I have and I offer it freely. I pray you will do the same for me if I call on you, too. Love. It is the loftiest goal of all. It is all I really want as my legacy. That everyone in my circle of influence felt loved by me and saw my unwavering faith in God. Everything else will fade away over time. Love and faith will be alive long after I'm gone in my children and in their children's children. I consider that the pinnacle of success. I'm totally nailing it.

So, what do I do all day? I'm busy building my legacy. Love to all.

Blessings,

~Cat

"It's Not My Fault!"

2014-01-29T14:58:00.002-06:00

Well, I'm in a mood today, so remember...you were warned.

First of all, let me state for the the record that I love my country and I have a lot of respect for our elected officials and am grateful for the job that they do in representing us and governing our land. There are times, however, when the whole thing seems a little campy and insincere and I don't like that part. Last night was our country's annual 'applauding politicians on display doing choreographed knee bends in unison' accompanied by a 'say a lot of stuff while saying nothing much' speech from our current Commander-in-Chief, followed by hours of mindless interpretation and scrutinizing by countless talking heads on every media outlet known to man. This event is commonly referred to as the 'State of the Union Address.' These annual spectacles are almost always the same no matter which president is at the podium. I was hoping for a little more this year, though I don't know why. I guess I felt that given our challenges at the moment...our president might step up to the plate and knock one out of the park, giving me a feeling that he finally gets it. As per usual this particular speech was full of earnest, ideological, and hopeful speechifying but was lacking the ONE thing I was hoping to hear from our president, and that is: ACCOUNTABILITY. Not. One. Word. He never said "I could have done better" or "my only regret is..." or "I'm the leader of this country and the buck stops with me." I know, I'm a dreamer, right?

What did he do? He just pretended that we are all without brains and would blissfully ignore the big white elephant (no insult to Republicans intended) in the room which is that the state of our union is shaky at best. I mean...let's just be honest. There is a lot to be accountable for. Big mistakes have been made. We all know that. Everyone here should agree at least on the issue of the Affordable Care Act. It has been a big mess and the administration royally screwed up the implementation and the facts were misrepresented (I'm being nice, here...) and a lot of people are stranded right now without insurance and have no idea what to do. (This is true...look it up). That is unacceptable. They were not ready to implement the law but they did it anyway. That was a mistake. I know that everyone messes up and that's why I wanted to hear accountability. I would have really been impressed if he had taken personal responsibility and been a real leader and simply said: "We were wrong and we intend to do better. Here's how we are going to fix it." That would have gotten my attention. His approval rating right now is around 37%. He knows that many people have lost confidence in his policies and leadership ability. He knows he has lost some credibility even among his own supporters. And yet, he never once mentioned that and glossed over it all as though everything was peachy keen and our country is not all but a hot mess. His message was clear. "Blame Congress! These guys won't let me do what I want. They're being total boneheads (this is also true, you can look that up, too) and they are in my way. I give up! I can't work with these guys anymore. I'm going to have to bypass the rule of law and do my own thing. It's not my fault." That did not resonate with me, personally. Alas, it is an election year, so honesty and accountability are not possible in Washington, DC from either party at this time. Sad but true.

Let's forget about politics for a minute. Too depressing and I'm going somewhere with this, so stay with me.
I came across an article on Facebook this morning that really blew my mind but totally illustrates the point I'm trying to make. We are seeing this kind of thing far too often.

There was this 16 year old girl, you see, who wanted to go sky diving. It is not legal for a minor to jump out of a perfectly good airplane for no particular reason other than the 'fun' of it, so the parents were required to give their consent. And they willingly did so. The dad even decided to join in the fun. He went up with her in the plane and for some reason that my parental brain cannot begin to grasp whatsoever (but who am I to judge) he jumped out FIRST. Go figure. Maybe it was so he would be there when she landed. Maybe it was to 'show her how it is done.' All I know is that there is no way in H.E. double hockey sticks that I'm gonna leave one of my kids in an airplane with a parachute strapped on his/her back to go it alone. My eyes would not be leaving my child. Maybe that's just me, but what do I know? I wouldn't take my kid skydiving, anyway and like I said...who am I to judge? Ha!

Anywho...the 16 year old girl jumped out on a static line which automatically deployed her parachute but something apparently went wrong and she plummeted 3,000 feet to the ground. I know. Yikes! Although she suffered serious injuries, she miraculously survived. Yet another example of the old saying "If it's not your time...it's not your time," I guess. But that's when I read what the father had to say and it astounded me. Check this out...here is an excerpt of his comments:

"I don't think she should have been allowed at 16 to go up there and perform that type of jump, no matter what I say or she says, she shouldn't have been allowed," Joe Wethington said at the news conference. "I find it very hard to believe that the rules and regulations in Oklahoma are that lax. I think there is a flaw there somewhere, and I don't think it's through the state of Oklahoma. I think it's the company. I'm not sure."

I'm not even making this up, y'all! You can read the whole article here... http://www.khou.com/news/texas-news/16-year-old-girl-falls-3000-feet-in-skydiving-accident-survives-242570671.html

Huh? What the wha??? Somebody sounds awfully confused. There is a flaw somewhere, dude and I can see it clearly. And yeah...I smell it, too. A lawsuit. This guy is likely going to try to sue the company for allowing his daughter to skydive, even though he signed the consent form to let her. He's playing the "It's not my fault" card. Talk about a lack of accountability. This is her dad. The buck stops with him. And he jumped first. He knew what 'type of jump' she would be doing because they both trained for it beforehand. He was made aware of the dangers but signed on the dotted line anyway. Are you kidding me? That is his statement? How about..."Thank God she's alive!!! All that matters to us now is that our child is safe and we need to focus on her recovery and getting her well. We are going to quietly celebrate our miracle now." Sheesh! Sure, he's probably feeling really guilty and remorseful about the part he played in what could have been the catastrophic loss of his child. He knows it was his decision. I understand that. Still, this is exactly the kind of nonsense I'm talking about. And in my opinion, which is worth what you paid for it, it is entirely too pervasive and it needs to stop. It is sending our kids the wrong message and I'm so tired of the excuses and the blame game and the 'get my attorney on the phone' mentality.

So here's my message for the day. You can take it or leave it just like you do all of the other stuff I say on here. I'm sure you are all responsible adults and already are aware of this but it will feel better if I just get this off my chest, if you will indulge me.

Please realize that life is all about choices. As adults, we all do the best we can (I'm assuming) and we win some and we lose some. As a result of the choices we intentionally make on a daily basis, there will be consequences, sometimes good and sometimes bad and we all need to take personal responsibility for the choices and decisions that we make. No matter what the outcome is. That's life. If you are at fault, own up to it. Stuff happens. Other people make mistakes that can sometimes accidentally affect our lives adversely. If you can, try to give grace to others as you would like it measured out to you. We are all here at the same time doing life together. It should be our goal to try to leave the world a little better off when we are gone. If we don't take responsibility for the stuff we do, we will not grow. We will not flourish and we will pass along the same stunted mentality on to the next generation. I'm not willing to do that so I will be paying attention to my own words and deeds to be sure I am practicing what I am (yes it totally sounds like) preaching. I am teaching this to my kids and enforcing it to the best of my ability. I hope we are all striving to do the same. We must lead by example, drop the excuses we make for ourselves and for our children and simply own our own stuff. Am I right or am I right? ;o)

I bring up this subject and say what I do out of frustration but also with love. I know that God is in control as always and that nothing that we say or do is a surprise to Him. He alone is worthy of all praise. Having said that, we are called to remind and gently nudge one another in the right direction now and then so I decided to go ahead and publish this post and pray the message goes where it may be best received.

If I have offended anyone, then that's on you. You shouldn't have kept reading until the end. It's not my fault! (Hahaha...gotcha. I'm only kidding!)
Hopefully, I haven't offended anyone but I sincerely regret it if I have. My intention is to share my thoughts with transparency and with honesty so that some day, when they're older, my kids will know what their mom was thinking about during their childhood. Hopefully it somehow blesses everyone who is along for the ride! Thank you for reading and supporting my little blog. All my love to all of you.

Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. ~ Proverbs 28:13

Okay...I'm done here.

Blessings,

~Cat

I am a Person of Color. White (or kinda Peachy) is a Color

2014-01-03T17:39:00.000-06:00

Okay...here we go. I'm taking a risk with this one, I know. But as they say...nothing ventured, nothing gained. I'm going to venture out there for a second and see if anything can be gained. Please read with an open mind and with the intent to understand. I am writing this in love and with respect. Please leave your knee jerk judgments at the door before you walk into this one. I dedicate this blog to the future of all of our children. I pray they will sow love and peace and real equality into the generations to come. I hope you will join me in that sentiment.

I've been spending my down time during the holidays doing quite a bit of reading. Some has been for fun, some for researching my book and some just to catch up on current events. I love reading, period. Something I was reading recently got me thinking. It was an excerpt from the blog of Dr. Alveda King (Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr's niece. http://www.priestsforlife.org/africanamerican/blog/index.php/2013/12

She posted this quote of her uncle's from a 1967 Christmas sermon:

“The next thing we must be concerned about if we are to have peace on earth and good will toward men is the nonviolent affirmation of the sacredness of all human life. …Man is a child of God, made in His image, and therefore must be respected as such….And when we truly believe in the sacredness of human personality, we won’t exploit people, we won’t trample over people with the iron feet of oppression, we won’t kill anybody.”

I enjoy reading her blog. And I love the writings of Martin Luther King, Jr. He was an incredible visionary and devoted man of God. He was courageous and remarkable in his willingness to speak out about his faith, views and beliefs whether or not they were politically correct or acceptable in the minds of the masses. He believed in racial equality. Really, human equality. He believed in a sovereign God. He was a follower of Jesus' teachings. He believed in the sacredness of ALL human life. That can't be stressed enough. How I wish he had been able to follow through with the movement he started. Where would we be now? As a nation? As a global community? I can only wonder.

All across the nation, there are memorial highways and boulevards and buildings dedicated to his memory. To his life's work. We even take a day off to memorialize him as a nation. We should. We should all just STOP on MLK day to reflect on the man and his mission and his ministry. His was a deep message. A mature and meaningful one. I feel, at times, that we are too selfish and too immature as a country to fully understand, grasp or more importantly...to emulate the spirit and commitment to human equality that MLK wanted us all to embrace. If you search your own heart, do you come to the same conclusion? Look around you. Read the millions of opinionated and often ignorant comments by your fellow Americans on the issue of race. It will curl your hair. It does mine. It makes me sad and mad and impotently frustrated to see how divided we still are on some fronts. Sadly, I feel the current administration of our government and the main stream media, just add fuel to a long burning fire that will only be extinguished when the people we have allowed into positions of power and leadership stop setting a poor example of division, derision and confusion among the very people they serve. Of course, this is just how I see it. Your outlook may be different. I respect that.

If you know me, you will agree that I'm a real (please pardon the cliche) 'people person.' I look at people and see first into their eyes. I'm looking for a spirit connection. I pay attention to their smiles and their faces. I just love people. We are all an example of God's limitless and beautiful creation. I'll talk to anyone. I love getting to know other people and I revel in our differences and uniqueness. I'm naturally curious and friendly when it comes to people of all races, religions and ethnic groups. This can be perceived as good and bad. I am at times naively unaware that people don't regard me in the same way. I have been wounded at times when people of other races have openly chastised me for crossing a boundary or breaking a rule that I wasn't even aware existed. There are apparently a lot of rules, you see. But as far as I can tell, there is no rule book, as it were, to consult to be certain that I do not unwittingly offend someone. This distresses me because I would never, ever set out to do anything hurtful or offensive to anyone. But unfortunately I have. More than once and it seems unfair to want so much to embrace my fellow humans while being keenly aware that they may not be too keen on embracing me back. I have been eyed with suspicion. I've been talked about behind my back. I've been made fun of and called names. I am sometimes judged simply by my appearance without the benefit of being allowed to present myself as an individual. It hurts when people do that. Sound familiar? I'll just bet it does. And in whichever direction this judgmental, prejudicial behavior is being projected it is DEAD WRONG. And that's all there is to it. I know Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. definitely would agree with me on that one. Google it if you don't believe me.

~And before I go any further, no matter what indignities or abuses or hard times I have seen in my lifetime, I will never, ever identify myself as a victim. Never. I am an overcomer through Jesus Christ. That is my identity. I was saved by grace. I am victorious.~

Aaaand...cue indignant responses. Let me save you the trouble. "Oh, reeeeaally? Miss white and privileged and high and mighty? You don't understand the struggle! You've never known real discrimination." (Yes, I have). "You don't know lack or poverty." (I've been homeless). "You don't understand what it's like to be under a generational curse of a lack of education and substance abuse." (Yes, actually, I do). You don't know what oppression feels like." (I totally do, unfortunately). You don't know what it's like to be on the wrong side of the social wall that separates the haves from the have-nots!" (Umm...not a lot of my contemporaries know more about that experience than I do. If you don't believe me, go back into the archives of this blog and read my story). "Well, wait just a minute...you've NEVER been a person of color now, have you?" Yeah, okay. You've got me there. Well, actually...I'm classified as white. White is a color. So, I can only speak from my own experiences as a white female living in America. So what? That is all any of us can do. Speak from our own, individual life experience. I'm certain that there are quite a few who can tell a sadder story than mine. There are also many who have been raised in strong, loving family environments that were far more enjoyable and advantageous than my growing up experience. White, Black, Asian, Indian, Hispanic, Jewish, or whatever. All different but with individual life experiences. Once again, I will say...so what?

Your ancestors may have been slaves. Or kings or criminals or servants or ranchers or architects or political leaders. Members of the KKK or cattle barons, tenant farmers or in my case, poor Irish immigrants. Read up a little on how Irish immigrants fared when they stepped off the boat onto American soil. Not necessarily ideal. Everyone has a back story. We all came from someplace but they way I see it, it's not where or who you came from but where you are going that really matters most!

Please don't take what I'm saying as insensitivity to the struggles of certain groups of people. I've read the horrifying history and seen the ugliness of bigotry first hand. And I've always hated it. But here's the thing...There are good and bad folks in all walks of life. My point is that the more we purposefully segregate ourselves and compete for the right to be the biggest victims or the most oppressed or wronged people, the further away from MLK's dream we are slipping away. Are we judging each other by the color of our skin or by the content of each individual person's character? If we are to truly grow and move forward, we have to start holding each other accountable for the content of our own character and not be protecting each other merely because those who transgress against others may belong to our own group or race. Right and wrong know no particular ethnicity. We need to stop making excuses for our fellow Americans and start expecting personal responsibility and accountability from every citizen in equal measure. Will there be injustices? Yes. But if we remove the scales from our eyes and truly see things as they are...injustices exist everywhere. Are we willing to fight against them all? Will we speak up for our brother or sister from another race even when one of 'our own' is the one at fault? Will we stand up for what is right and denounce what is wrong? Will we be color blind in our commitment to see those wrongs righted? I pray that we will. I'm committed to do my part and to teach my children to do the same.

Let's strive not to be easily offended when someone makes a mistake that breaks a cultural 'rule' that they may not even be aware of. Let us embrace one another with the same grace and mercy our heavenly Father does. Let us walk in forgiveness and move forward without dragging the baggage of the past along for the ride. We won't always see eye to eye. but let that be okay. Let others be who they are without judgment or ridicule. Let us love our neighbor as ourselves. Do I sound naive? I don't care. Like Reverend King, I have a dream, too. I am dreaming big on this one!

The following is an excerpt from an article that really lines up with what I'm trying to say. You can read the full story here: http://www.cerm.info/bible_studies/Topical/racism.htm

There is only one race—the human race. Caucasians, Africans, Asians, Indians, Arabs, and Jews are not different races. Rather, they are different ethnicities of the human race. All human beings have the same physical characteristics (with minor variations, of course). More importantly, all human beings are created in the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1:26-27). God loved the world so much that He sent Jesus to lay down His life for us (John 3:16). The “world” obviously includes all ethnic groups.   God does not show partiality or favoritism (Deuteronomy 10:17; Acts 10:34; Romans 2:11; Ephesians 6:9), and neither should we. James 2:4 describes those who discriminate as “judges with evil thoughts.” Instead, we are to love our neighbors as ourselves (James 2:8). In the Old Testament, God divided humanity into two “racial” groups: Jews and Gentiles. God’s intent was for the Jews to be a kingdom of priests, ministering to the Gentile nations. Instead, for the most part, the Jews became proud of their status and despised the Gentiles. Jesus Christ put an end to this, destroying the dividing wall of hostility (Ephesians 2:14). All forms of racism, prejudice, and discrimination are affronts to the work of Christ on the cross.   Jesus commands us to love one another as He loves us (John 13:34). If God is impartial and loves us with impartiality, then we need to love others with that same high standard. Jesus teaches in Matthew 25 that whatever we do to the least of His brothers, we do to Him. If we treat a person with contempt, we are mistreating a person created in God’s image; we are hurting somebody whom God loves and for whom Jesus died.   Racism, in varying forms and to various degrees, has been a plague on humanity for thousands of years. Brothers and sisters of every ethnicity, this should NOT be. Victims of racism, prejudice, and discrimination need to forgive. Ephesians 4:32 declares, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.” Racists may not deserve your forgiveness, but we deserved God’s forgiveness far less. Those who practice racism, prejudice, and discrimination need to repent. “Present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God” (Romans 6:13).May Galatians 3:28 be completely realized, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”  

Amen!!

Whoever you are and wherever you come from, I send you blessings and love for the coming year. May your every happiness be realized and may you find peace and contentment wherever you go.

~Cat

God is Old and He's SLOW

2013-11-29T18:24:00.000-06:00

A girl I used to work with was a massage therapist. The best part was that while she was working out the kinks and stress from my muscles, she was also a really great listener and gave awesome advice. I used to say she was my therapist who happened to give massages because I received two services for the price of one. Her name was Gretchen and she was one of those people who is an angel on earth just when you need one. Whenever I was griping to her about something I was hoping/believing for but was not seeing any progress with, she would smack me one and say, "Girl, be patient. He hears you. Just remember that God is old and He's slow!

I always giggled when she said that because it put a funny visual in my head. But the truth is, I took a lot of wisdom out of that one little phrase that was part joke and part reminder that God is timeless and that He literally has all the time in the world to do whatever He sees fit whenever the timing is exactly right. Sometimes we have desires or needs that we want resolved immediately. Hurts we want healed. Relationships we want restored. Pain that we beg to subside. Grief that seems interminably long. We cry out to God and say "Hey, you're God. Why can't you just fix this, already!" Or something to that effect. We pray and we wait. And wait. We stretch our faith and try to keep the flicker of hope alive as we keep on waiting. Eventually, we may be forced to move on and just hope for the best. Can you relate?

Here's a story to illustrate my point:

Once upon a time, when I was a young girl, I had that intense and overpowering experience of my first real love. He was a great guy and I thought he was perfect in every way. He was tall and handsome and strong. I had never met anyone who made me feel so special and cherished. I thought about him constantly and when we were apart, I counted the minutes until I would see him again. I was so in love and so in awe of him that I thought he was the knight in shining armor in my Cinderella story. I fantasized about all of the places we would go and things we would do together. We would be Mr.and Mrs. fabulously, perfectly happy. I was young and naive. I thought we would love each other forever and live happily ever after.

Enter: reality. My family life was falling apart. His family wasn't crazy about me or the status of my family life.(I don't blame them). I started to be afraid that he would be like so many other males I had trusted in my life and he would leave me. I had some worthiness issues. People close to me whispered into my ear that I wasn't good enough for him and that if I held onto him, I would drag him down with me and would that really be fair? Was I that selfish? Would loving me ruin his life or his future? I knew he sincerely loved me. I knew he was willing to take care of me. I knew he would stand by me but I allowed people to convince me that he would stay with me out of obligation. That he would stay by my side because he was an honorable guy and he felt sorry and responsible for me. Eventually he would see me as a liability. This pricked at my pride. Those castle walls I had imagined began to crumble. In my desperation, I began to put up emotional walls of my own. I began to rebel. I hurt him and pushed him away. I was nobody's charity case. I'm sure you can see where this is headed. To make a long story short, I began to make a series of disastrous choices that coincided with the time that I was thrown out into the world as an emancipated minor. I was afraid and alone and had lost all hope of retrieving my knight or my fairy tale. Just for good measure, by my naive and foolish actions, I blew up the castle and my heart was shattered into a million pieces in the process. ~The end

Well, not exactly. God had a plan for my life. I had a destiny to fulfill. I began trudging through the mud with the faint glimmer of hope that somehow, I would survive. I fell down and got back up countless times. I made bad choices and learned some tough lessons. Eventually, I began to work harder and make better choices. My God supplied all of my needs, if not necessarily all of my wants. As I matured and healed, I felt more and more hopeful that I would find that pure kind of healthy, unconditional love I had felt when I was younger. I let that be my ideal goal. To experience that happy ending that I believed God had meant for me. In fact, that young love experience taught me some of the most valuable lessons about love and relationship that I needed to learn in order to weed my garden of undesirables. I'm hard headed and I made mistakes but never gave up hope and prayed that when my prince finally came, I would be worthy and I would be ready for him. It took a LONG time. Remember? God is old and he's slow. Still...David came into my life at just the right time. Handsome, strong, capable and compassionate, he swept me off my feet into a life of love and security that is way more than I ever imagined and is better than I deserve. I am loved and cherished. My prayers were answered. Our family is built on a firm foundation of faith and trust. Things are great in love and life. I'm living out my fairy tale in real time.

But...there's more to the story and I'm sharing all of this personal stuff to make a point and I'm hoping it helps some of you.

Through the years, I had never really resolved the guilt and the sadness that was buried in the old rubble. I felt there was unfinished business to be dealt with. I felt I owed my former knight an explanation and an apology. I knew he had moved on and found a happy ending of his own and I was truly happy for him. Still there was a disturbance in the force, as it were, and I had held on to the pain and regret and dragged it behind me like a punishment. I even carried around a box of memorabilia with his name on it containing letters, napkins, swizzle sticks, goofy mementos and old photographs. On particularly bad days, I would drag out this box and weep rivers of regretful tears into it. The memories were comforting and painful at the same time. I guess in a way, I thought I deserved the pain and anguish. One Monday night (the same night that Joe Theismann broke his leg on Monday Night Football...yes, I'm that old...) God whispered to me through my tears that it was time to throw away the box and everything in it, including the guilt and the regret. I didn't want to obey. I stood outside under the stars on a cold, clear Dallas night, and held onto my box in front of my apartment dumpster for a long time. I didn't have the strength to let it go. I hugged the box harder and contemplated forgetting the whole thing and going back in. In that moment, I felt God's presence and a whispered promise that He would make all of my wrongs right and would give me an opportunity for resolution. The only catch was that I knew had to throw the box and the residual emotions out once and for all. With a shout of anger and grief, I hurled the box up and over the top of the dumpster and winced as I heard it's contents clinking and banging to the hollow bottom. I stood silently in the darkness and the cold and cried a while longer, then finally turned away and went inside, pulled the covers over my head and fell into an exhausted sleep. From that day on, I waited for God to fulfill his promise. Nothing happened that week or that month. Or that decade. I moved on and hoped for the best. Time marched on and so did I. The pain gradually subsided but I still prayed for peace in my spirit.

Fast forward to this week. David knows this whole story, as we were really close friends and had shared a lot of our personal triumphs and tragedies before our relationship turned into a romantic one. He has always understood me. He knows I'm soft-hearted and sentimental and that I cannot stand unresolved conflict. He knows that this issue has bothered me for a long time but that I had put it into God's hands. He's been urging me to reach out to people and to trust God to provide healing and resolution with anyone I might feel I needed to. In his words, "You have a lot to gain and nothing to lose." That's my prince. He's supportive and awesome like that. That's one of many reasons why I love him so much! A month or so ago, The knight had found me on Facebook and this week I finally summoned the courage to write to him. He responded and, just as God promised me, all those years ago, there was communication. There was resolution. There was mutual respect and we were able to finally tell each other we were glad our paths had crossed all those years ago and wished each other every happiness. He has a beautiful, loving wife and awesome kids. His story is a successful one and I'm so gratified by that. Decades later, all is well. Finally finding peace took a LONG time. But as you know, God is old and he's slow. :)

You may be praying and believing for something that seems to be taking FOREVER. You may be in a painfully dry season. I would encourage you to remember that although God may seem slow, He is never too late and is always on time. Sometimes it takes a lifetime of lessons and experiences to get us in position to fulfill our potential and purpose in Him. I know that my relationship with David is stronger because it is built on honesty and openness. I know that God had always intended for me to have the family I have (and the testimony that comes with it) from the beginning. I don't know why things went down the way they did but because of the difficulties and trials I've been through, my faith is strong and I trust God with every detail of my life. I hope you will take away from this story that God really will give you beauty for your ashes. That healing can come out of our deepest hurts and that sometimes we have to be reduced to rubble so we can be reconstructed on the solid foundation of God's love. It's a process and God may be old and slow but His perfect design for your life will always be worth the wait! Just keep moving forward and continue trusting the plan. When it gets to be too much or you get discouraged, remember what God says:

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.
As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. ~Isaiah 55:8-9

Blessings,

~Cat

Trickle Down (Mom)enomics

2013-11-15T12:07:00.001-06:00

I'm back and I'm in a hurry to write this because I'm basically in a hurry to do everything these days. I guess it's just that time of year. So much going on and this year, it is compounded by the fact that my dear hubby got an amazing promotion (thank you, God) and is also in the middle of back to back turnarounds, so he is working really long and totally random hours. We see each other in passing and this will continue until after the New Year. We are making it work and the kids are transitioning okay but we all miss him and our (sort of) normal routine. It is hard for them but I'm realizing more and more as I gain experience as a mother and wife that when it comes to the family vibe...I set the tone.

Hear me out. I've had a lot of time to think about this, experiment with it and the evidence bears me out. Most of the time, when I'm calm, cool and collected, everyone in the house seems to line up with my mood. Conversely, If I'm not careful, I can send the whole clan out into their various daily lives in a stressed out, bummed out or frustrated mood simply because I fail to exercise a little self control. I'll give you an example, though it's not flattering to me, personally and is a bit embarrassing. In the spirit of mom unity and all that, I'll go ahead and put myself 'out there.'

Last week, I woke up feeling awful. My knee was hurting, I fell asleep too late, while reading, and hadn't taken my contacts out, so my eyes were dry and blurry. David was still not home from work and I allowed myself to become resentful that I had to get the kids up, fed, dressed and driven off to school (earlier than usual that day) without any help. This was particularly stupid because David is rarely here in the mornings anyway and I am perfectly capable of doing all of those things, as I always do, by myself. Besides, my kids are really compliant and generally in a good mood when they wake up, so getting them to school is no big deal. Usually, it's my pleasure. Actually...it's my JOB.

But on this day, I was NOT in the mood. I walked into the family room and immediately began finding fault. Clothes not picked up, the kids weren't moving fast enough for me. The dog wanted out and then in and then out again. There was no food in the dog's bowl. I began grumbling purposefully loud enough to hear that I was sick and tired of having to do EVERYTHING and that I was going to start grounding them from electronics for leaving their stuff out and I was not their maid and I was nobody's personal servant and what about personal responsibility and accountability and disrespect, blah, blah, blah...I mean, I was on a roll, y'all!! I was riding them like a jockey at the Kentucky Derby. Totally out of character for me and completely unnecessary. But you moms out there will relate that once we get started like that, it's like a snowball going downhill. The momentum is too much and all of our pent up frustration comes to the surface and then before you know it, you're anger jumps out of the gate and it's off to the races. I'm ashamed to admit that I kept this up all the way to the school drop off lines. And believe me, I was justified. I was fired up with righteous indignation. I had had it.

Nothing I was saying was wrong. I had legitimate complaints. But wow, was my timing and delivery way off. My kids are sensitive and eager to please. They were sleepy and had just woken up. They are used to laughing and giggling and kisses and prayers in the morning. Talk about a blindside. The two little ones were holding back tears and sniffling and Patrick just looked shell shocked. I dropped them off and drove home still juiced up with aggravation. It wasn't until I walked back into my quiet house, mess and all, that I realized the damage I had done. Too late. At that point there was nothing I could do about it but wait until I picked them up and try to gently explain and apologize. After I had time to reflect, I realized that the whole thing was my own fault. That morning, I had become so self centered that I bypassed my usual 'Good morning. Lord...thank you for this new day' and jumped right into "poor me mode." I forgot to put God first. I zoomed in on my inconveniences and failed to take a moment to just be grateful for a new day. That's not like me but I'm human and have weak moments just like everyone else. I felt contrite and regretful all day. I asked God to forgive me but I couldn't wait to see my kids to ask for theirs, as well.

As parents, I think it is vital to openly admit our mistakes to our kids and to ask their forgiveness. THAT is how they learn accountability and personal responsibility. By modeling what they see us doing with them and with others in our lives. When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong. I don't try to be perfect in their eyes. I just want to give them my best. Sometimes my best isn't all that great but at least they see me trying and learning and growing. I feel like that's a good lesson. That no matter our age or position, we should be accountable for all that we say and do at all times. Also, that regardless of who we are or how old we may be, we are (hopefully) always learning and growing.

When I saw them that afternoon, all of my kids were noticeably a little wary and even a bit distant with me. I don't blame them. During our conversation when we got home, Patrick threw a truth bomb at me that I will never, ever forget. He said, "Mom, I like the way we usually have fun in the mornings because I think that's a special time for us. Not all kids have moms that are fun like you. When you are griping and mad in the morning, it just ruins my whole day. I mean...you didn't even pray with us this morning. I prayed for you when I got to school that you would stop being mad at us."

Boom. We all talked it out and I was able to articulate my expectations with them and they forgave me for being a raving witch. Although it ended well, I'm left with a lesson I'll keep with me always.

Since that a-ha morning...I've made a commitment to myself to do a little mental inventory before I even open my bedroom door to be about the business of my day. I'll give Jesus His due, as the first greeting I give in the morning belongs to Him. I'll think about how I'm feeling. If I'm annoyed because I stayed up too late, I'll shake it off and tell myself to deal with it. I'll greet my husband and kids with a hug and a smile. I will gently but firmly nudge them in the direction they should go. I will do my job and set the proper tone for the day. I will encourage, uplift and pray with them as we part for the day. There will be plenty of time for reinforcing behavior and unless one of the kids is being a total pain and I have to deal with it (it happens), we will greet the day as positively as possible. That is on me. Why me? Because I am the grown up, I am the mom and wife, and whether I understand why or not...it's my responsibility to set the tone in my household. The tone I choose is peaceful, calm, patient and loving. With God's mercy and grace...I can at least do that. Call it 'trickle down Momenomics.'

Will I get this right every day? Probably not but I'm determined and usually that means I will succeed. When I do slip up, I'll own it, apologize for it and ask for a do-over. Sounds a lot like life, I guess. Thankfully, I know that to err is human and to forgive is divine.

I'm grateful for divine forgiveness and also deeply humbled and thankful for the unconditional love and understanding from my best friend and husband and our darling little humans who are growing up way too fast. :)

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Blessings and love,

~Cat

The Power, Perks and Perils of Being a Girl...An Open Letter to my Daughter

2013-09-12T14:14:00.000-05:00

Hello, sweet girl.

As I am writing this, you are sitting in your 4th grade classroom with your sassy 9 year old self and I am sitting here, smiling to myself thinking about you. Last night on the way home from gymnastics, we were giggling until we were snorting and helpless with laughter. You had me rolling. One day, when you are older, you will understand why I call such exchanges 'freeze frame moments.' There are those special experiences that we share when there is so much joy, just in the loving of you, that I wish time would stand still and I could just bask in the feelings and intimate emotions shared by just the two of us. You are a rare and precious gem. A pearl of great price. A source of wonder to me and conversely, sometimes a serious pain in the rump and a thorn in my side, as I'm sure I am in yours. That is just as it should be, of course. This is the way with mothers and daughters.

I wish that you would always see yourself through the eyes of your Daddy and me. I pray that you will carry the self confidence and sense of self that you have right now all the way through your childhood, teenage years and into adulthood. Unfortunately, I am honest enough with myself to know what the odds are of that and I have concerns. There will be speed bumps and hairpin turns in the road ahead. I want you to be prepared but not overwhelmed. I want you to dream big but be ready for the inevitable disappointments. I want you to be compassionate and caring to others without getting lost in the shuffle. I want you to be able to discern real love from false affections. I want so much for you. Mostly, I want my own experiences, mistakes and unfortunate choices to be the bridge you use to carry you above the turbulent waters and guide you safely over the same pitfalls that we all encounter along the way.

Honey, the world will often look at you through narrowed, steely eyes of judgment, jealousy and predatory opportunism. It will whisper deceiving, accusing seeds of thought that, if nurtured or allowed to implant, will multiply and crowd out reason and truth. You must be vigilant in your thought life. Whatever is true, whatever is good, whatever is holy, whatever is loving and peaceful and humble...stay focused on. Any thoughts of failure, unworthiness, hatefulness, envy, false pride, or of being alone are to be removed by the root and cast aside like the garbage that it is. Remember who you are. Remember whose you are.

You will make mistakes. You will have lapses in judgement that will lead to consequences. Be ready for that and be ready to take responsibility for your actions and to be accountable for your wrong doings. Apologize quickly and forgive easily, even if others are not mature enough to do the same. There are a lot of lost and hurting souls walking around in this world. They may hurt you or betray you. Don't take it personally. 99% of the time, the actions of others toward you really have nothing to do with you. It is about their own issues. Don't feel you must carry the burdens of others. You were not designed to be an emotional pack mule for everyone around you.. Be loving and pray, help within your own capabilities and give the rest to God. He's bigger, stronger and has way more wisdom than you (and me, for that matter...) please learn to let Him do the heavy lifting.

There will be a lot of other girls/women out there who will tell you that you "deserve" to be treated as an equal to your male counterparts. That men and women are actually equal. This is simply NOT SO.

Anyone with a basic grasp of biology and anatomy will realize the inequalities of the sexes and not bemoan them but celebrate them! This is why we need each other. We were created to be in partnership and relationship with one another based on love and respect and our mutual interests and beliefs. A healthy relationship is not founded on competition. I've never seen one of those that ended well. That is not to say that you don't deserve to have the same RIGHTS. Totally different issue. Don't allow anyone to confuse you about this. It will lead you on a quest for something which is ultimately unattainable and will lead you in circles. You are a girl. You have power in your own right. Don't waste your time trying to prove yourself or your value to anyone. If they don't want or are unable to see and appreciate your fabulousness...just politely move along.

Here's the big one. We've already established that you are loved, smart, beautiful, worthy and are filled with limitless potential. Period. Since we know that, I want you to listen carefully to me here...You do NOT need a boy/man to pay attention to you in order to validate any of the things I mentioned above. There are good guys out there. There are some not-so-good ones out there as well. Both types will look to you for guidance on how to treat you. I'm going to repeat this because it is SO IMPORTANT. If you respect yourself, your faith and commitment to God, your body, your values and your beliefs, you will be respected in return. You will filter out the undesirables by letting them know you are not an easy target. Respect yourself ALL THE TIME. Especially when it comes to taking photos, or posting things about yourself on social media that do not line up completely with who you really are. Be vigilant and behave. One mistake in this area can create a huge ripple in the sea of your life that is vast and far reaching. Once spoken, something cannot be unspoken. What is seen cannot be unseen. Remember that wherever you are, whatever you are doing. One moment of indiscretion can lead to some serious regrets. You don't want to deal with that. Make it easy on yourself. Carry yourself with respect, dignity, integrity and represent your family and Jesus well.

One other thing...Your father and I will always be your soft place to fall. We will love you in spite of any mistakes you might make. As a family, united in love for each other and bonded together by the blessing and love of almighty God, there is nothing we cannot overcome. Nothing. Come to us confident in the knowledge that nothing can separate you from that love and mercy. Also be confident that we will use WHATEVER means necessary to protect and guide you in the way that you should go. This may include invading your privacy, telling you the truth, (even if it hurts), popping up unexpectedly wherever you tell us you may be, taking away your phone, car, privileges and other things that you value in order to keep you on the right path. We are willing to risk your anger to keep you safe. We are friendly with you. We are not your FRIENDS. We are your parents and it is our profound duty and obligation to protect you from anything or anyone that may do you harm. Even yourself. We are completely unyielding in this area. Save us all a lot of heartache and drama by abiding by the rules and respecting yourself, the authority of your parents, your brothers, your friends and others placed in your life. Remember that if we didn't love you so much, we wouldn't bother to care so much about these things.

As your Grandaddy (my Daddy) used to say: Stay close to Jesus and don't waste energy trying to make sense out of nonsense. I often wonder how my earlier years would have turned out if I had heeded his advice a little sooner. The truth is, I made a lot of mistakes and mischief. Somehow, God was able to turn it all around and give me beauty for my ashes. That beauty is you, my love. You are beautiful. Your soul is beautiful. You are treasured and I honor you for the amazing little girl that you are and look forward to enjoying the amazing woman you will become. Stand strong on that unbreakable foundation of love. You have the royal blood of the King of the universe flowing through you. You are destined for greatness and are ever my powerful little princess...

Matelaine of Kingsbury.

These are the words to the lullaby I used to sing to you as I rocked you in my arms or knelt by your bed side as you slipped off to sleep:

You came into our lives one day.

Right then, we fell in love...

A little girl to love so much,

Our baby's gentle touch...

Mattie Noelle, Mattie Noelle

You were sent from heaven up above.

Mattie Noelle, we hope you can tell...

Just how much you fill our hears with love.

Our Mattie Noelle.

I love you forever, baby girl.

Love,

Your Mama

Please watch this to remember WHO YOU ARE!

Steve Crawford Changed My Life. Here's How:...and here's what I want YOU to do about it....

2013-07-11T16:00:00.000-05:00

Hi, Everyone.

If you don't already know of Steve Crawford, allow me to get you up to speed. He is one of the worship leaders at Lakewood Church. He is a ridiculously talented singer and musician. He and his equally ridiculously talented sister Da'dra Greathouse are the leaders of the Lakewood Worship Team which I am humbly honored to be a member of and serve with. Both of them are wonderful and I love them both very much. Today, I want to single out Steve.

Steve Crawford

This will make him uncomfortable and a little embarrassed because even though he is incredibly gifted and is quite well known, and sings in front of sold out stadiums all over the world as he travels with Joel Osteen Ministries, he's shy and refreshingly full of boyish charm and has a huge heart for God who he serves with humility, reverence, honesty and, quite frankly, a lot of man hours and personal sacrifice. Lots of self confidence. Zero arrogance or ego. I mean, zip. He's a regular guy and wants to be treated as such. Just a few of the reasons why he's so well loved and respected by those who know him.

I first saw Steve Crawford on the platform at Lakewood Church one Sunday during our family's first visit there several years ago. Like everyone else who hears him sing...I was blown away. Not only by his voice (as I said...ridiculous) but by his powerful heart of worship. Watching Steve praise and worship makes people go: "Wow...He's totally in the presence of God. Man...I'll have what he's having." It had a profound impact on me that day. (Still does, even now). I was like..."Who is this guy?" Honestly, I'd never seen or heard of him or of Da'dra before. Probably because in the churches I attended before...people just didn't do praise and worship like that!

Boy, was I missing out. Well, I've definitely made up for lost time during the last few years! Check out this video of Steve (and the rest of us...I'm on the far right of the screen, can't see me until the very end...) in action, getting our praise on at Lakewood Church).

Turns out, Steve and his sister have been singing gospel in churches since they were knee-high to a grasshopper. They also formed the group 'Anointed' and have performed in front of some pretty influential people over the years and have received accolades, honors and awards galore. The list is long and impressive but I won't go into all of that here because I want you to see his links below and go check out his Facebook and website, etc. for yourselves and really get to know him. You won't regret it.

Over the last several years, Steve, in word and in deed, has HUGELY transformed and increased my faith walk and relationship with God. He is an amazing mentor, teacher, brother and friend. I am one of the blessed people out there who can say, "Steve Crawford loves me and I get to love him, too." He and his wife, Tammy are family to us. They have three amazing kids that they are excellent parents to. As you can see...I can't say enough good things about Steve but if he was here I know he would tell me to stop it, already. He's sweet and humble like that.

I will tell you only this much more...that this man has profoundly changed my life forever for the better by his example and selfless love and I want to bless him. And I want YOU to, as well. Today I am making a generous donation to his new solo project because I believe in him and I want others to benefit from what he has to share with believers and lovers of praise and worship music all over the world! There's no telling who his voice will touch or whose lives will be changed. Here's how you can help: Please give generously as he so generously gives of himself to others. THANK YOU!!

Blessings,
~Cat

From Steve:

Dear Family and Friends,

I have started a fundraising campaign on Kickstarter.com to raise money to fund my
first debut solo project. Kickstarter.com is a crowd-funding site, which allows individuals to support, by donations, to various projects. This is how it works:

Once you sign up on www.kickstarter.com, you be able to click the amount you are willing to pledge to support the project. Each pledge amount will have certain incentives that I am offering as an expression of my gratitude. There is a set time frame, (in my case is 21 days), in which to raise the money and reach my goal of $35,000. When the goal is met, at that point, the money pledged will then be transferred. (I am believing for this). Also any excess will still be applied toward further promotion for the project.

However, if the goal is not met within the allotted days, then the funds will not be transferred from the pledgers and the project will not be funded. At this point, I will be praying for another way to accomplish this vision.

So, the Kickstarter fundraising campaign has begun and I am asking all of my family and
friends to please help me make this dream come true. It's amazing how much can be
accomplished with many. So, in advance I thank you.

I will be communicating through the social media outlets mentioned below with more
highlights on the status of campaign as well as updates.

I want to thank you so much for your help. Please help me spread the word. Feel free to forward this message to your family and friends.

Remember, no amount is too small or too large. Every donation is greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Steve Crawford

2910 Commercial Ctr Blvd.
Suite 103
Katy, Texas 77494

Website: www.stevecrawford.cc

Facebook: www.facebook.com/ImSteveCrawford

Twitter: www.twitter.com/imstevecrawford

Steve Crawford's Solo Project Update !!!!!

Hello everyone,

I wanted to give you an update on the campaign for the project.

We have 61 backers as of today totally donations of $9,572.00.

With 21 days left we still have $25,428 to go. That's all. LOL.

Thanks to all who have contributed. Please help me get the word out!!!

I really need your help. Thank you all!!!

Copy and paste or click on URL:http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1959319832/steve-crawfords-first-debut-cd

God bless you,

Steve Crawford

Unpacking Your Baggage

2013-07-02T15:04:00.000-05:00

On The Wharf in Boothbay Harbor, ME

Well, we just returned from our family vacation in Maine and I'm feeling the usual post-vacation blues. I always say, "I need one more week." Wouldn't matter how many weeks I was there, either. I'll always want one more week of Maine. If you ever have the opportunity to vacation in coastal Maine (preferably the Boothbay Harbor region http://boothbayharbor.com) DO IT! You won't regret it. It is my absolute favorite place on the planet. It is the one place I can really let down and relax, which is saying a lot since (as most of you already know) I basically have the nervous system of a Chihuahua.

But, as they say, all good things must come to an end. Why do you suppose 'they' say that? And who are 'they' anyway? 'They' annoy me with that phrase. I want the good stuff to go on and on, don't you? Alright...where was I? Oh, yeah...the post vacation let-down. Listen, my absolute least favorite thing to do is unpack and put away all of the stuff I spent days (and really late nights) excitedly getting together and sorting and organizing in anticipation of an upcoming trip. This time, with the help of a friend, I even washed everything while still on vacation in order to avoid piles of laundry when I got home. I had big plans to be all done unpacking the very first day I got home. The result of all of that work is that, although I did put away two suitcases worth of stuff, I ran out of steam pretty early on and now have quite a few clean piles of laundry left in inconvenient places to put away. I've gotta be honest...I'm tired and I'm not feelin' it right now. Such is life.

Seanook Cottage, East Boothbay, ME

At the check-in counter at the airport, I was that lady who had overstuffed a giant suitcase and was over the 50lb weight limit. My calm and collected hubby never batted an eye as he opened my bag and began pulling out my personal belongings (in full view of the several openly hostile passengers in line behind us) in an attempt to distribute the weight evenly between our other bags. I stood helpfully by, with my hand covering my face in acute embarrassment nodding my approval as he pulled out item after item, hair spray, de-frizzing hair serum, blow drying heat protectant, etc. to be inspected for their potential transfer to another suitcase. I had done it again. Very carefully and thoughtfully packed TWICE AS MUCH stuff as I would need for the trip. And not just for myself, either. I packed way too much for all of us. Looking back at my preparations I can only ask myself in astonishment: "What was I thinking?" Where, in the dark recesses of my mind, did I think I was going to wear three different pairs of black dress pants to a place where we spend the majority of our time hiking, in a boat or climbing on rocks? Temporary insanity is the only explanation. Happens every time. I start with the minimum items I'll need and then I start seeing stuff that I feel I can't possibly do without and then it all spirals out of control from there. Here is a perfect visual aid that depicts precisely what happens to my brain during the process of packing for a trip: Especially at about 1:50...

"That's all I need." lol

As with everything else, I see this as a metaphor for life. We all do this and I'm as guilty as anyone else. We drag around too much unnecessary baggage. Stuff we can totally do without. Personal items that clutter our lives. Emotions and past resentments. Unforgiveness. Guilt. Shame. Blame. Even certain people. Boom.

This humiliating moment at the airport check-in~. And yes, I'll admit publicly that despite my efforts to the contrary, I did the exact same thing on the way home, too...(Well...can I help it if Maine has a lot of pretty rocks we just couldn't live without? I mean, besides the ones we boxed up and mailed home...and no, I'm not kidding)~

Saying goodbye to Ocean Point

really serves as a reminder that I need to make an effort to do some serious unpacking of the baggage of my life. There are a lot of things I can most definitely live without. Would actually live better without! I'm going to get started on that just as soon as I unpack my literal baggage from our vacation. I really intend to reduce the inventory around here. It will be so great. I can just feel the weight lifting off of me already.

But of course I'm totally keeping the rocks. Those are super important souvenirs of our amazing trip! And the dress pants. I mean...a girl can't have too many pairs of nice, black dress pants. And my hair care products, too because my hair has to look nice, you know, being that I'm a Texas girl and whatnot... but really, that's all I need...

Blessings,

~Cat

Who's Your Daddy?

2013-05-24T22:15:00.001-05:00

There's no point in me buying a ticket and trying to win the lottery. The odds are stacked against me winning big again since I've hit the jackpot in the marriage department. Today marks my 16 year wedding anniversary. Wow. Hard to believe it's been that long. On one hand, it feels like only yesterday that David and I and fell in like and inevitably in love. Then again...it's hard to remember my life without him in it. I sometimes feel like my life really began in earnest on the day I met him. It was like living a two dimensional existence and then being thrust into the vividness and texture of the three dimensional life experience. Knowing and loving David has fundamentally changed me for the better. He is my favorite grown up and the best friend I have ever known. He is my hero and my sidekick all rolled in to one. He is my loyal confidante, my sounding board and an excellent snuggle partner. Simply: He is the love of my life.

I had him all to myself for seven amazing years and then, thousands of prayers and tears and one miracle later, we became parents to a beautiful little brown-eyed boy who, in our eyes, was perfect in every way. Patrick changed our lives overnight and then when our precious twins, Mattie and Michael were born 2 1/2 years later, we were so delighted and thankful for our three healthy babies but man...at times we were like sleep deprived zombies, bumping into each other occasionally on the way to change a diaper or burp a baby (or two). It has been an amazing blur of a ride ever since. Becoming a mother was such a deliciously mind-blowing experience. But for me, the best part has been observing the transformation of my husband into the father that he is today. I've often said that if every child had a daddy like David, the world would be forever changed for the better. He's inspiring like that. I've told him he should write a book with his advice on how to be a loving and successful husband and father while managing a successful career. I know it would sell millions of copies. He would never have to work again. (But he would, anyway!)

Want to know why I say that? I say it because it's true and everyone who knows David would totally back me up on this one. He's a great dad because his toughest critics, his own kids, all say so. I just asked Michael to give me some words to describe his dad. He went on and on so I'll have to give you the short list: Fun, super-fun, kind, caring, quiet, dependable, hard working, cool, loving, strong and perfect. Quite the rave review, wouldn't you say? I happen to agree with Michael. He is all of those things. And more, although 'perfect' may be pushing it just a smidge. I mean...let's not get carried away, here, right? :)

When I was Michael's age, my dad made rare, unexpected and whirlwind appearances into my life. It was awesome when he came around, don't get me wrong...but he was not a consistent presence in our lives. People would ask me, "Who's your daddy?" and I would have to say "you wouldn't know him. He's not from here. He doesn't live with us. I hated that. He always made me feel loved and treasured but then he was gone again. It often seemed like important pieces of my puzzle were missing. I never could quite put myself together again completely. I vowed to myself that when I had children, they would never feel that way. Incomplete. Not if I could help it. Thanks to my husband, when people ask my kids, "Who's your daddy?' They can answer with certainty and confidence that their daddy is their role model, their football coach, their mentor, their nerf-gun battle captain and teammate, their fishing partner, their counselor, their hard working, selfless provider, the magic mender of their hearts and hurts and countless other things I don't have room to list...the most important being: Loving, supportive and loyal husband to their mother.

I'm not naïve enough to believe that because of all the love, sacrifice, dedication, discipline and affection lavished upon my children by David and I, that they will automatically all turn out to be doctors or teachers or scientists or pastors or Olympic gymnasts or whatever, who never stray from the path and who always stay away from people or behaviors that might harm them. I know life doesn't work that way. They will mess up. Poor choices will be made. I will ceaselessly pray for them and try to train them up in the way they should go and then eventually, grudgingly and probably with much hand wringing and weeping, let them go out into the world and become who God has destined them to be. I believe and declare that my children will be mighty in the land. If they follow in their dad's footsteps, they will be headed in the right direction and will not depart from it.

My husband provides all of us with daily encouragement, daily prayer and the security of knowing that no matter what the world may throw at us, when it's all said and done, he is our firm foundation and our soft place to fall. He is the best of the very best of dads and we are exceedingly proud of him.

David from all of us, we wish you a happy and blessed Father's Day. We honor you and we love you with all of our hearts. Thank you for always being there even when you don't feel like it and thank you for never complaining or raising your voice when you do feel like it. We all believe in you and can't wait to see what great things you will accomplish next and are cheering you on every step of the way!

All our love, forever and then some...

Catherine, Patrick, Mattie, Michael

& Sparky

Looking After Each Other

2013-03-18T11:16:00.001-05:00

"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." ~Romans 15:5-6

Today I was just minding my own business scrolling around on Facebook and checking my blog when I ran into the scripture listed above. I really wasn't planning on writing a blog post today because I have a lot going on and a to-do list as long as my arm. But this scripture gave me pause because it is one I've seen and read and thought about a little but today it was like reading it anew. The original thought behind it to me was, to put it in layman's terms, look after each other and encourage the people in your life. To have each other's backs, as it were. More or less.

Well, as it turns out, there is more. Much more that I have been overlooking and I wanted to share it with you, even though you are probably much wiser than I, and you've probably already figured all of this out for yourself. Still, I think it is so amazing that I can read or hear a scripture and get something new out of it in different seasons of my life. Kind of like that special bubble gum From Willie Wonka where you can chew the same piece of gum but get all kinds of different flavors out of it depending on your mood or desire. Kind of a weird comparison, I know, but as you have likely surmised by now...I'm a little weird. Stay with me anyway.

So, yesterday...another scripture crossed my path which was this:

"Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many."
~Hebrews 12:15

Sort of similar messages, right? The words that stick out for me in these two scriptures right off the bat are: 'look after each other' and 'watch out' and 'toward each other.' Doesn't take a brain surgeon to see what we are called to do. We are supposed to be taking care of each other. Loving our neighbor as ourselves. Doing unto others as we would have them do unto us. Being a friend who sticks closer than a brother, etc. The first scripture tells us to encourage each other so that we may have endurance to run this so-called race of life.

The way I see it, the instructions are pretty specific. We are to do this with a Christ-like attitude...and here's the kicker: We are to be of one mind. One voice. The ultimate purpose of which is to glorify God. As God gives grace to us so freely, we are to spread it around unselfishly and unreservedly so that as ONE BODY, we reflect and glorify the love of God. I just love that. That is our purpose as believers. Our calling. Simply to love and serve one another in order to emulate the character and image of our creator, almighty God who is LOVE. Goosebumps.

But we have to be careful, don't we? There is a warning there. We have to watch out that we do not allow bitterness to take root in us. Why? Because a bitter root produces bitter fruit. Because as one body, one mind, one voice...we are contagious to one another. The scripture says that bitterness may grow to trouble you but it will end up corrupting many. We are all connected. Just as our joy and laughter can be infectious, so can our bitterness and criticisms.

As I write this today, I realize how important it really is, what a huge responsibility and privilege it is...to be the hands and feet of Jesus. To keep 'washing' those hands and feet in the word of God, so that I will not contaminate others with my own negative stuff. I don't want to be a carrier of sin or a transmitter of hate. My desire is to carry the communicable, joyous, totally transmittable good news of Christ's salvation to every heart and mind I come in contact with.

I want you all to know that I will continue to encourage you every chance I get. Keep running your race. I've got your back as I hope you have mine. Don't get discouraged because as you know...if you've read to the end of The Book ...WE WIN. Glory to God!

I'm really grateful for this revelation and I wanted to pass it along to you. I hope and believe it will bear good, life-giving fruit. All my love to all of you.

Blessings,
~Cat

A Healthy Dose of Humility

2013-03-06T12:50:00.000-06:00

I'm going to come right out and say it. Growing up up in an abusive household doesn't make me special. If it did most of us would think pretty highly of ourselves. It surely doesn't entitle me to extra sympathy or special attention from anyone. To beat a tired, over-used phrase...'it is what it is.' By the grace of God, I have overcome so much and have grown to recognize that triumph out of tragedy is a recurring theme God has used since the dawn of time to show Himself great in this world. With humility, I will say that the course my life illustrates that attribute of God's character perfectly. Humility. Such an important word that is somewhat lacking in our modern discourse. It is a quality that I strive for in my own life but occasionally...I fall short. And by occasionally, of course I mean daily.

They didn't talk to me much about humility when I was growing up but I was put down and dismissed quite frequently. That is what I thought humility meant. To be humiliated. I knew that feeling quite well. I was raised by very self-centered, self serving people. I mean no disrespect when I say that. I'm just being honest. The adults in my life (my mom and step-dad mostly) seemed to believe that children were bothersome and intrusive and were annoyances to be dealt with in whatever manner they deemed appropriate to what their mood was at the time. This is not to say I was not loved. I was. They did the best they could, I suppose. My dad loved me very much. Just never seemed to be able to stick around for long periods at a time.

I'd describe my life growing up sort of like being in a climate where volatile and violent changes in the weather patterns would take place constantly. Hard to know how to gear up appropriately day by day. I became a human barometer. My internal dialogue became something like "Prepare for the worst, expect heavy weather and remember to really enjoy the sunshine while it lasts." I became both self protective and fiercely protective of others around me. It also created an unhealthy tendency to crave peace at any price, the end result being self taught to become a chronic people pleaser. This looks like humility on the surface but is really selfishness In disguise. ie: (If I can keep everybody happy and ok, I will feel better and safe and will have some semblance of control over my own environment). I know. That's deep, isn't it?

Fortunately, God has placed people in my path along the way that helped me to discover that I was not living on a hostile planet, so to speak. Aunts, uncles, amazing and loving grandparents and great- grandparents, even parents of my friends, who lavished love on me and gave me a glimpse of what a peaceful, loving home should feel like. People who put the needs of others before their own. True humility. I was determined that when the time came, I would never settle for anything less for my own children. And I haven't settled. My children live in a peaceful (most days), loving and God-centered, spirit-filled home. We are not perfect. We are messy and we are extremely goofy. We work together but mostly play together. We pray together. We enjoy each other. We like to hang out in our pajamas and be lazy together. My family works. We are functional. That, in and of itself, is a triumph of great magnitude in my eyes. Humbling, to say the least.

As parents, sometimes we swing too far in the opposite direction of our pain and try to build up our kids' self esteem, (which I believe to be vitally important, by the way), and we try to protect their egos too much. I've been guilty of this. But in a society of swagger and celebrity worship and 'me-ism' I have been trying to redirect my children's focus from themselves and their own desires onto God and to the needs of others. This requires vigilance on my part and I have been praying for direction in this area. There are teachable moments around every corner. The challenge? Recognizing and making the most of them. On this, I'm not willing to settle, either. I tell my kids every single day as they get out of the car to go to school:

"God loves you and I love you. You can do ALL things through Christ, who strengthens you. Now...go do great things with this day and be a blessing, not a burden to those God places in your path."

I get an occasional eyeroll and sometimes they say it along with me in a little sing-song voice but I don't let that stop me. I'm sowing precious seeds into this garden we call life and I intend to nurture them and care for them until we reap an amazing harvest. I declare our children will be mighty in the land. In order for that to take place, we must surrender, be obedient, trust in God's will for our lives and let our faith sustain us through the process. As for me and my house? We will serve the Lord. By His grace, we will serve him with a healthy dose of humility!

This verse says it all:

Philippians 2:3-11
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore also God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those who are in heaven, and on earth, and under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Speaking of teachable moments...we are watching The Bible series on the History Channel as a family. It has opened up incredible dialogue about so many biblical and general life topics. The kids even asked to watch it over again last night. I recommend this series (but not for younger viewers, as it has violent scenes, as you might expect) and we are all looking forward to upcoming episodes which air every Sunday night until the finale on Easter Sunday. My kids are getting out their Bibles to see what book the show is on and I've learned quite a bit myself. It is condensed, so we have to pause occasionally to get everyone up to speed, but overall it has been a great family experience so far. I'll share the link with you so you can get the details for yourselves.***

http://thebibleminiseries.com/

Blessings,

~Cat

'Talk To Me, Goose...'

2013-02-18T13:23:00.000-06:00

Hello, family and friends...

Yes, I'm still here. Were you wondering if I was ever going to blog again? Probably you didn't notice I've been MIA. We are all so busy all the time. For me, the weeks since the New Year have been flying by at top speed in a blur of homework and store runs and gymnastics classes and vet visits and Dr. visits, etc...but you know how it is. Supersonic. The speed of moms everywhere.

Still, through it all, God has been finding a way to reach through the turbulence that is my life and speak to me about some things. I was thinking about this the other day when I was rushing to get ready to go somewhere and there was a torrent of text messages from random people coming in non-stop. Pray for this. Can you help me with that? Are you available for whatever. Can you fill in for so and so. What do you think of this idea? Can you tell me how to say something to my boss? Holy Wow. It felt like a radio where someone is constantly flipping the channels in my mind from station to station. All the while, I'm trying to slap makeup on my face and dry my hair and just GET OUT THE DOOR. I felt like I needed a flight controller to handle the thought traffic coming in and my responses to all of these issues going out. It's hard to keep things straight when there is that much activity on the tarmac of our lives. (Wow, I'm rocking these air travel references today!) :)

So, right about the time that I was feeling like chucking my hairbrush at the mirror and switching off my phone, God put a vision of a scene from the movie Top Gun in my head. The one where Tom Cruise is about to crack under the pressure of his mission and he takes a big, deep breath and is holding the dog tags of his dearly and recently departed copilot and says quietly to himself: "Talk to me, Goose."

***Let me take an unscheduled stop and say a few words to Tom Cruise, who I am sure is positively riveted to his computer in anticipation of what I may say next because of course my opinion of him really is that important to him. Tom...you had me at Risky Business and Top Gun and Jerry McGuire. You lost me at Brooke Shields and hopping up and down on Oprah's nice furniture like an orangutan beating your chest and howling out your proclamation of love for Katie Holmes. (Although, I'm sure you meant it at the time...sorry that didn't work out for you). Unfortunately, you have made the same mistake as many other actors and celebrities by thinking that because you can pretend really well and convincingly portray characters from stories, that somehow you are authorized to be authentic experts on anything and everything. I think I speak for a lot of your fans when I say that we really just wish you would keep right on acting and keep your personal opinions to yourself. That's really all I have for you right now, Tom. Thanks for listening. ***

Ok. Where was I? Oh, yeah...'Talk to me Goose.' So, the function of Goose (before he was inadvertently and catastrophically ejected into the wild blue yonder, bless him) was to be the eyes and ears of the pilot. He was classified as an NFO, a Naval Flight Officer, specifically a RIO, or Radar Intercept officer. I researched this extensively via Google and Wikipedia. Probably in the same way Tom Cruise and other celebs do their research in order to attain 'expert status' as well. But again, I digress.

I promise, I'm getting to my point which is that the pilot felt lost without his regular copilot. He trusted in, relied on and counted upon his counsel and input to be an effective pilot. Without Goose, he was too busy handling the flying of the plane and engaging the enemy to see the incoming gunfire and missiles. He needed Goose to tell him when evasive action was necessary. Goose kept him focused on the mission at hand. When the proverbial poop was hitting the oscillating device, Goose was there to pull the plug and get the mop.

Why would God put this movie scene in my head? I think you can probably figure that out by now. How many times do we get caught up in combat mode and fly around in circles saying: "It's all too much, I'm taking fire, I don't know my heading, MAY DAY, MAY DAY, I'm going down..." without stopping for a moment, catching our breath, picking up a bible or calling out in prayer to the author and finisher of our faith saying, "Talk to me, God."

In that moment, I read Him loud and clear. God intercepted, reached me through the static, found a clear channel and managed to use me in a mighty way that day. In the midst of it all, I called out to Him and He directed my every step and through obedience and trust, He allowed me to really be a blessing to someone. To do incredible kingdom work right smack dab in the middle of supersonic mommy mode. The result? Peace. Joy unspeakable. Another life lesson learned and tucked away for future use. God really can use any of us no matter where we are or how stretched we are if we just take a moment to breathe Him in and ask our heavenly Father, How may I serve YOU today, Lord? Then just lift up your hands and let Him do His thing and take the controls. His will is a beautiful sight to behold. He filed an incredible flight plan for us all before the dawn of time. When we choose Him, our destination is a certainty. Sit back, relax and enjoy the journey.

One final thought:

Blessings,

~Cat

Seriously...What Will People Think?

2013-01-22T00:10:00.002-06:00

Well, my friends, the holidays are officially over. If you happened to be at my house, that wouldn't necessarily appear to be the case. There are ornaments and decorations all over the den waiting to be hauled back up to the attic and the winter village scene is still lit up and proudly displayed on my mantel. Disgraceful, isn't it? I know. I have my reasons (besides lack of motivation) and I would explain them to you but that would mean I would have to violate one of my key New Years resolutions and I usually make a rule not to do that until at least February 1st.

You may be asking yourselves what have I resolved to do (or not to do) in the coming year. Or maybe you're not even remotely interested. Nevertheless, I'm going to share a couple of my resolutions with you because, well.. I'm in a sharing mood and you've already read this far so might as well just forge ahead, right? Anyway it's all pretty standard stuff, like: Eat less, move more, work on my book manuscript, get my house organized, take the dog for more walks, etc. I've even resolved to be able to do the splits by the end of 2013 (the result of hours of watching young kids at my kids' gymnastics class being impossibly flexible and ambitiously believing I can still do it, too!) But here's the biggie...and it will admittedly be a bit of a challenge. I have resolved to stop being concerned with what other people think or say about me. And you know what? I must say, I'm off to a pretty good start.

Remember I told you earlier about not having gotten around to putting away all my Christmas stuff? Well there's a perfect example for you and I'm happy to report that I don't give a rat's right rump cheek whether people think I'm odd or lazy or whatever because it is nobody's business what I do or when I do it as long as I am not a danger to myself or others and it isn't adversely affecting anyone. And it isn't. I'll get around to it when I feel compelled to do so. And not a moment sooner. So there.

Here's the issue: I am, and have always been, a people pleaser and approval seeker. I wish that were not the case but I just seem to have always been wired that way. I think a lot of us are. Especially women. Something I have learned over the years is that trying to please people or win their approval (especially certain people, if you know what I mean) is an exercise in futility and leads to frustration and aggravation and occasionally even degradation. Trying to please others and conform to what they think I should be doing has created a lot of unnecessary detours and roadblocks along the journey of my life. I am moving forward in the New Year to effectively put an end to that. Here are a few reasons why:

Regardless of my best intentions or efforts to be a loving, caring and compassionate person, people are going to think whatever they want to anyway. I am strong minded, straight forward and communicate advice or answer questions accordingly. Some people are taken aback by my approach. I can be a bit of a steamroller. I don't mean to be but nevertheless...I am sometimes misunderstood because I tend to be pretty open and direct which can catch people off guard. This is just who I am.

There never has been a gate between my brain and my mouth. I rarely know what I'm going to say until I've heard what it was. I'm not saying that this is a good quality. It's not. I'm just made that way. I do make an effort to exercise self control in this area but won't say I've been all that successful.

For some reason that baffles me, a lot of people tend to want to believe the worst in others. My theory is that some believe that magnifying the flaws of others makes them more normal or acceptable to themselves. (I'll bet many of you have been subjected to this attitude).

I've learned from experience that most judgment comes from a lack of self esteem or self worth from the one doing the judging. There are a lot of sanctimonious, self righteous folks out there who are just waiting for a misstep so that they can pounce on you and 'show you the error of your ways.' To these people I respectfully say: Get a life, why don't you, and stay out of mine.

I am a gregarious and silly person with a rapid fire sense of humor that is hard to keep under wraps. I kind of like that about myself and am not inclined to change that anytime soon. I love sharing laughter and joy with others. I laugh loudly and sometimes giggle inappropriately when I'm in an awkward or nervous situation. Can't seem to help myself.

**(I've had the unfortunate experience of snickering helplessly at a funeral as the minister repeatedly mispronounced the name of the deceased. I was also once ushered out of a wedding ceremony for laughing uncontrollably after a well meaning bridesmaid yanked the bustle of the bride's dress (which had somehow become tucked way up into her bum) right at the front of the church in full view of the entire congregation before the couple could exchange their I-do's. Not one of my finer moments but a funny memory to have and to hold, as it were).

Listen...life is too short not to appreciate the humorous and ridiculousness that inevitably comes along. We are made in God's own image. The gift of laughter and joy is one of His most beautiful blessings to me. Still...sometimes others don't 'get' my sense of humor. That's okay with me. I don't mind laughing either at myself or with myself or even by myself.

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. ~Proverbs 17:22

In the infamous words of Tony Bennett: (my younger readers can Google him...)
"I've gotta be me...I've gotta be me...who else can I be but me?" Indeed.

Finally...after all these years of fretting about having a crazy dysfunctional family, not fitting in or not being thin enough or educated enough or being too indecisive or silly or not serious enough or not being perceived as a good enough Christian I have finally come to the place in my life where I can honestly say...who cares what anyone else thinks of me? I know who I am. I know whose I am. I am a living child of the living God and my Daddy created the universe and everything and everyone in it. He loves me just they way I am and He's guiding my every step. I'm shining my light and believing that God will let my life be a living example of His amazing love and His tender grace and mercy. I'm one of His very favorites, you know. You are, too!

There is a sense of liberation and freedom in letting go of what others think. Some of you may have already come to this place of peace. If not I invite you to join me. Hey, as a sign of solidarity, you may even want to join me in my other resolutions as well. Together, we can do anything, right?

I will let you off the hook on the whole 'doing the splits' thing, though. I mean really, who am I kidding? A mother of three children trying to do the splits? C'mon, seriously...what will people think? Oh, yeah,..I almost forgot. Who cares? All I can say is that I hope they are laughing with me because I may need some good medicine for my crushed spirit and dried up bones if things don't work out as planned. Ha!

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. ~Colossians 3:12-15

Blessings,

~Cat

"I Like Your Christ. I Do Not Like Your Christians"

2012-10-23T13:04:00.000-05:00

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

~Mahatma Ghandi

Ouch. Talk about a zinger. Kind of a gut-punch, isn't it?

One day a couple of weeks ago, I was driving my kids to school, ~~lecturing~~ talking to them about how important it is to remember to be more respectful toward each other and to be a blessing and not a burden to their teachers and fellow students at school. On this day, I was in a mood. Bogged down by what seemed like a thousand little loose ends and details I just couldn't seem to pull together. Sound familiar? So, anyway...I remember doing a lot of mental complaining and griping about how much I had to do, how I didn't have any help, how I wished I could just go back home, pull the covers over my head and go back to bed. You get the idea.

My husband (who is the sweetest man on the planet and who I'm still amazed picked me out of all of the women in the world he could have chosen) called me to check in and see how my day was going. Well, he unfortunately got an earful as I proceeded to download all of the stuff that was weighing on my mind and basically overloaded him with nonsense about how overwhelmed I was and didn't he feel sorry for me for being so over committed and under prepared which of course is ALL MY FAULT TO BEGIN WITH. (I am a self-confessed yes-aholic and chronic volunteer). As always, he listened patiently and calmly and said all the right things and told me it would all turn out okay and even complimented me by reminding me that I am always able to pull everything together and work it all out in the end. I hung up after the obligatory 'so...how is your day going?' which he answered by saying, "Me? Oh, I'm fine." Classic David. I love him so much.

I felt much better after that, of course. Cranked up the car radio just in time to hear someone on KSBJ talking about remembering to focus our attention on being more Christ-like in all of our interactions as Christians (he was referring to the contentious political climate) and then he shared the quote at the top of this post. And then...WHAM. My self-centered fog lifted and I realized in that instant that I was doing exactly what I had admonished my children NOT to do that very morning. I was being a burden, not a blessing. Fleshing it out, as it were. I was being burdened, period. I stopped and remembered what Jesus said:

Come to me all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. ~Matthew 11:28-30

This is what Jesus said about himself. 'Learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart.' In all honesty, I can see why Ghandi said what he did. As much as I hate to admit it, this is exactly what I have been seeing playing out all over social media and in conversations I've heard between friends and even in my own interactions with others. If this quote makes you feel convicted, that's probably a good thing. It certainly did make me stop and think. I hit the reset button that day and kept repeating that quote over and over in my mind and let it sink deep down into my spirit.

No wonder so many non-believers are turned off by some Christians. Why? Because self-righteousness and hypocrisy and a 'holier-than-thou' attitude are not attractive. Guilt and condemnation aren't, either. So much stone throwing and finger pointing going on in this world. Sounds more like the behavior of the Pharisees to me. If memory serves, Jesus had some serious issues with those guys. Seems to me that quite a few self proclaimed Christians are loudly blowing their horns about this sin and that sin and how bad everyone else (besides themselves, of course) is behaving. Being unapproachable, condescending and offensive. Passing out judgments and condemnation like Halloween candy. So unlike our Christ.

Are they well meaning? Probably. I would hope so. Am I perfect and without blame? Absolutely not. Am I condoning sin? No, of course not. Am I saying that he who is without sin, go ahead and cast that stone? Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying.

While watching the recent violent uprisings in the middle east that coincided with the murderous attack on our US Embassy in Benghazi, Libya, I was struck by the amount of passionate hatred in the eyes of all of those thousands and thousands of radical Islamic jihadists who banded together to make their presence known. It made me think. Why aren't we, as Christians committed to sharing that kind of passion when we seek to demonstrate the LOVE of Christ? I'm not talking about radical, fundamentalist anger and condemnation. In my opinion, that has NOTHING to do with the teachings of Christ. I'm talking about a committed, passionate, peaceful outpouring of love and forgiveness and charity and understanding that is news worthy! Why aren't we making news every day by showing how loving and compassionate and respectful of others we are? Why aren't we fired up to show the world the gentle and humble heart of Jesus and His salvation by living it out loud by example in our every day lives? How powerful and uplifting would that be?

Yes, I said it. Some Christians could learn a few things about expressing passion and dedication to their faith from Muslims. You may not like that but I think it is true. Yes, even in my own life. Any thoughts? I'd love to hear them.

I have (what I think is) a great idea. I'm too busy with my crazy life and I can't afford to fund it but wouldn't it be really awesome to have a new cable news channel called GNN? The Good News Network. All good news all day and all night. Reporters traveling all over the world to cover stories of unsung heroes and people doing unselfish good works and people being healed miraculously? Highlighting kids for putting others before themselves? Outrageous athletic accomplishments? Compassionate humanitarian efforts? Videos of people all around the world doing humorous things?That kind of stuff. Doesn't need to be religious...just any good news will do. Hey, it would be great to see people trying to make the news by doing good things instead of being knuckleheads or criminals, dontcha think? Somebody get right on that, will ya?

And, hey...if you need any help getting it started, I'll be more than happy to volunteer to brainstorm ideas and search for stories or help design an ad campaign. Of course it would have to be after I tear down the decorations from Red Ribbon Week and then the big fellowship I'm planning and then of course Thanksgiving....then there's the Christmas parade and by then Christmas will be here but maybe after that..... ;0)

Blessings and Love

~Cat

(I love this song 'Proof Of Your Love' by For King and Country...take a listen).

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Just Admit it...You Were Wrong

2012-10-01T11:15:00.001-05:00

Strange how even a simple squabble between siblings can become a teachable moment in the lives of everyone involved. Yes, even on a Monday morning. Before I elaborate on that, let me just say that I don't always go about imparting wisdom into the lives of my children with patience and perfection. Nope. Sometimes it's more along the lines of vexation and vocalization. Oh, well...whatever works. My motto? If it achieves the desired results then I get to call it a success.

As the kids were getting ready for school, I held up an old teddy bear which had been left on the floor and I said "Poor Buddy. Somebody just dropped him and left him here. I bet Buddy's not feelin' the love this morning." I was trying to make light of the fact that I couldn't walk through the family room without stepping on or around some random toy or article of clothing that had been thoughtlessly dropped and left behind for someone else to deal with. That someone being me, of course. This is a really annoying recurring theme in my household and I was irritated but wanted to take it a little easy because everyone was just sleepily rubbing their eyes, waking up and trying to come to terms with the fact that it was Monday morning again. No sense harping on them to add to that stark realization.

Because Mattie is female, and it is imprinted on her DNA, she can't seem to resist the urge to make some remark or to 'out' whomever she deems to be the guilty party in any given situation. Little girls seem to get a special tingle out of seeing other people get what they deserve. To put it nicely, Mattie has a very acute sense of justice. Or is it vengeance? I don't know...maybe a little of both. Anyway, the irony is that two thirds of the debris field in question belonged to her. Most likely the teddy bear was discarded by her since Patrick doesn't even play with it anymore. Of course, that didn't seem to register at all. It rarely does.

So Mattie says, "Buddy is Patrick's and he should do it because it belongs to him." And unfortunately something got lost in translation because all Patrick heard her say were the words "Patrick" and "stupid." Aaand...cue drama. He called her out and insisted that she said he was stupid and demanded that she apologize. Michael, wisely trying to remain neutral up to this point, quietly piped in from under his blanket, "Dude, really...she didn't say that." Patrick wasn't having it. Then, he ordered me to make her apologize. Yeah, well...a ten year old making demands and ordering me around never goes over well with me but especially rubs me the wrong way first thing in the morning before my coffee. What followed was a ridiculous exchange worthy of two bickering toddlers. I said "Patrick, she did not call you stupid." He said "Yes, she did, I heard her!" and this deteriorated into "did not!"..."did too!" until I realized the absurdity of what I was doing and then ended it by telling him very firmly: "Patrick, you are wrong." He shook his head 'no.' "Yes" I said. You. Are. WRONG!"

Wrong. He hates to be wrong. He got up and declared he was going to the bathroom but we all knew he was retreating because he was unable and unwilling to admit his mistake. He was going to believe what he wanted to believe and refused to be persuaded otherwise. Pride is a pretty powerful thing, isn't it? I had to wonder why he wanted to believe the worst instead of acknowledging that he simply misheard her. There are so many insightful, psychological conclusions to draw from that but really it all just boils down to pride. Pride is a place where we all stumble and fall.

I know better than to push my kids when they are in this frame of mind. It only makes them more resentful and resistant. I tucked a note into Patrick's lunch kit that read "I hope you decide to make it a great day. Please remember that it takes a person of great courage to admit they are wrong. Be that person. Love, Mom." I urged Mattie to go to Patrick and tell him that even though she hadn't called him a name, she was sorry they had a disagreement, which she did. Patrick was still sullen and mumbled "okay, fine" or something to that effect. Still not budging.

When we finally got in the car, I spoke quietly to the kids on the way to school about the meaning of courage. I told them that being brave was not just about facing fear but also about letting people see them when they are not at their best. That being vulnerable and letting people hear them say "I made a mistake" was a great example to set for others and that in order to be a great person or an effective leader, we have to be tough enough to be willing to be wrong in front of everyone. Then, I turned to Patrick and said "there is no shame in being wrong, son. Everybody makes mistakes." His eyes filled with tears and he choked them back and finally said "Sorry, Mattie...I guess I didn't hear you right." Boom. And just like that: revelation and reconciliation. Everyone all smiles and giggles for the rest of the trip. Thank you, God...what a relief, as I can't stand unresolved conflict.

Don't we all hate to be wrong? As adults, pride and arrogance make us resistant to admitting any wrongdoing. I see it everywhere day in and day out from my little kids to the highest government officials. Denial, lies, cover-ups, corruption of every type imaginable. Guilt and shame and regret all because of an unwillingness to confess the simple fact that we have been wrong. Made a bad decision. Blamed the wrong person. Lost our temper. Forgot to do something important. Gossiped about someone without knowing all of the facts. Betrayed a loved one. The list could (and does) go on and on.

My challenge to myself and to anyone who may be reading this is to search ourselves and ask the question: Do we have what it takes (humility and honesty) to do what my ten year old son was eventually able to do? To suck it up and be willing to say, "My bad." To own our mistakes and to be accountable to those we have wronged? To atone for our transgressions? I say yes... I'm up to the challenge. Are you in?

Here's Mom's lunch box wisdom for you, shared from my heart to yours as it was for Patrick:

"I hope you decide to make it a great day. Please remember that it takes a person of great courage to admit they are wrong. Be that person."

Blessings,

~Cat

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Really...Who DOES that?

2012-09-24T13:33:00.000-05:00

I would venture to say that almost every day, at some point, I come across a fellow human being who does something that I don't like, I don't understand, that I don't agree with or that just plain annoys me in some way. I mean...people do some weird things that just leave me shaking my head saying..."Who does that?" Case in point: A couple of days ago, I was getting gas in my car and saw someone a few rows over smoking a cigarette while pumping gas. Is it not bad enough that I'm standing there watching the gas pump readout furiously escalating past the $75 dollar mark? That alone is stressful enough without this knucklehead putting himself and everyone else around him in danger of being blown sky high on a beautiful fall day. KABLAM! Yo, dude...that big, red NO SMOKING sign applies to everyone. Even you. Seriously...

Or the lady driver who sped up and cut me off so she could be one car ahead of me in the pickup line. And we were there 45 minutes before school got out! Were they handing out 'Absurdly Early and On The Ball Mom' awards that day and I didn't get the memo? Why the big rush? I don't get it. Someone (well meaning, of course) actually sent me a Facebook message last week saying that it was a good thing my dog had been put to sleep because (and I quote) "I'm just glad he died peacefully. It would have been a lot worse if he had died after being hit by a car or something where he had to suffer." Now don't get me wrong, I know they were trying to be comforting and I appreciated the intent but I was really grieving and that just missed the mark for me.

I worked myself up into a real lather the other night over something someone said to me because it hurt my feelings and (if I'm honest) brought some of my own insecurities to the fore. I allowed myself to be provoked into irritation and I know I was unable to hide the fact that I was annoyed. After I got home, I prayed and reflected on the situation which led me to a place that I can see now was exactly where God wanted me to be. The situation shined a light into a dark area that is: my often narrow focus on myself. Or what I call 'Me-ism.' Being so aware and involved with my own reality and how it makes me feel that I unfortunately miss out on the opportunity to learn something important or to experience something special in my life or the life of someone else. Me-ism happens to everyone. It was happening to the guy at the gas station. And the lady who cut me off in the line at school. Even the well meaning friend who made a thoughtless remark. It happened when I became overly sensitive and reacted negatively with a friend. We can all be self absorbed and do these kinds of hit and run offenses toward others without even realizing what we've said or done. I know I need to work on that and with God's grace and mercy, I'm becoming more aware. Please keep me in your prayers and offer me forgiveness as needed as I grow in my journey of faith.

The Bible says we are to strive to live our lives as Jesus did and let me tell you, He is a pretty tough act to follow! I try not to carry offenses and to be forgiving but sometimes, in the moment, it can be hard (okay, sometimes impossible) to overlook the behavior of others and keep a calm and loving demeanor. Believe me, I've tried. I guess the best we can do is ask for guidance, apologize when necessary, try to look beyond the sins of others and keep trying to mature and grow through the renewing of our minds through God's word.

Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV) says, "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.' "

By the way, This means forgiving ourselves, too.

Once upon a time, there was a godly man who had purposefully traded a heavenly existence for a life of hard work, long hours of teaching and who gave his all for the sick and the broken. After performing miraculous healing and acts of provision for those in need, he continued being misunderstood and misrepresented, being scorned, despised and rejected. Eventually, He was tortured and killed and endured, even embraced it all in the name of LOVE. Asking forgiveness for His tormentors even as He suffered and died. He defeated death and the grave and kept His promise to return and show Himself alive to those who believed in Him. All in the name of redeeming those who had wronged Him. All in the name of justifying those who had rejected His father's love for them. He did it all for love. I mean, really...who DOES that?

Only Jesus. He is where I am putting my focus. Less 'Me-ism' and more 'He-ism.' More on loving as He loved. Forgiving others as He forgave me. On trusting our heavenly Father with this life He has given me. Of living with an attitude of gratitude for this experience on Earth. If I continue to do that, whether I understand it or not, everything else falls perfectly into place in the exact time that it should. Jesus is alive and well and living in those who, by faith and trust, believe in the whole story just as it is written. Unbelievable as it may seem, there are some who continue to tell this remarkable story because they are confident in the knowledge that there is power and life everlasting in accepting as truth the good news of the life and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Really? Who does that? Well...I do, for one. I pray everyone who reads this will hear the call and surrender it all. And live, really live. Happily ever after.

Blessings,

~Cat

Losing Lucky...From Reeling to Healing

2012-09-17T02:14:00.000-05:00

We've all been there. Cruising along on auto-pilot, feeling pretty good about life and feeling somewhat comfortable and maybe even a little carefree. Then, WHAMMO...major turbulence in life swoops in, knocks you sideways and forces you to grab the controls and try to right yourself before you go into a tailspin. This is the way I would describe the events of this past weekend. We've taken a beating and been sent reeling but we banded together and are unsteadily but surely making our way back onto solid ground.

Mattie's journal entry the day we saved Lucky

Let me explain. A few months ago, we adopted a dog who was scheduled to be euthanized. You've seen their haunted faces on the pages of Facebook. Looking pitiful and frightened, your heart melts and you think: Maybe I can make a difference, I can save this dog and give him a good home and we'll all live happily ever after. That is exactly what I thought and intended. That's how we found our other dog, Sparky. The kids and I fell in love at first sight with Lucky. He had a little heart on his forehead which we took as a sign that he needed our love. Impulsively, I made the call, saved the day by saving the dog, and made arrangements to drive the six hours to Port Isabel, Texas to pick him up. We made it into a little mini-vacation and stayed at the beach the day before we picked him up. It was a wonderful time of expectation and giddy nerves as we were anticipating meeting Lucky and bringing him home.

Lucky meeting Daddy and Sparky

It was seamless. Although he was heart worm positive, he showed no symptoms and the Laguna Madre Humane Society offered to cover the cost of his treatment. He was easy. He was obedient. He was sweet and quiet and slept the whole way home. He met our other dog and they got along fine right from the beginning. After a few hiccups during the adjustment period we realized he was a perfect fit for our family. He pooped and peed outside. He was loving and sweet, a total mush and he followed me adoringly around the house. We grew very attached to each other and I loved him so much. He was too good to be true. I see that now.

There were signs. He was aggressive toward other dogs which we attributed to his being in the shelter. He was very protective and was uneasy when people came to the front door. All of this stuff seemed workable and he was improving all the time. We let our guard down and believed we had hit the doggie jackpot with our sweet Lucky dog. This weekend, we unfortunately lost it all.

One of Mattie's little friends came over unexpectedly for a visit on Saturday. Lucky had never met her before. There were a few other neighbor kids over and the usual noisy chaos was in full swing. This little girl reached down to pat or hug him. He was confused and stressed and he lashed out and bit her in the neck and hand, and scared her to death. Her ear was cut and she needed medical attention. We cleaned her up, comforted her as best we could and David and I drove her home. After we were sure she was okay we got into the car, looked at each other and I burst into tears, knowing that Lucky would have to go. Even though he was wonderful with our kids and had never done anything like this before, there was no other choice. Biting someone is one thing but he had intentionally gone for her throat. Of course we could never risk that happening again to anyone. Ever. After consulting with the shelter and the vet, the decision was made that Lucky would have to be put to sleep. We were crushed. Devastated. We were emotionally wrecked and I was wracked with guilt.

The kids took it hard, all of them sobbing and begging us not to take him away. Michael wrapped his little body around Lucky's kennel, trying to shield him as David came to take him out. His agonizing cries of "Nooooo, don't take him away, he's sorry...he didn't mean to" will haunt me for the rest of my days. The kids insisted on taking a picture with him which I did all the while my stomach was churning and I was trying desperately in my mind to think of a way to save him, knowing there really was no way. We all took turns saying goodbye. As I cried and hugged him for the last time he nuzzled my face with his velvety soft nose and licked the tears from my face. Loving me and comforting me as always. I was undone with grief. I felt I had failed him miserably. I felt guilty and wished I had never seen his picture on Facebook, never set my kids up for this trauma. If not for me, that little girl would have been safe. Guilt and regret washed over me in relentless waves.

David asked me to promise we would all stay together and grieve as a family until he returned, which we did. We cried and shared memories and laughed through our tears. Michael said that he thought maybe God knew Lucky only had a little more time to live so he gave him to us to love before he had to go. We all took great comfort in that. As we were holding onto each other in our grief, David was in a veterinary clinic in Beaumont holding our sweet Lucky in his arms, whispering words of love and praise into his ear as he peacefully passed away. This was a terrible, tragically beautiful moment etched permanently into our family story. Painful but peaceful. We held on tight and prayed and wept and we loved each other through it. It is amazing how the worst moments in life tend to unearth the treasures deep inside of us.

I've struggled to make sense of all of this but quite frankly, I haven't been very successful. It is senseless. Period. But I've learned that God really can take any bad situation and turn it around for our good. That God is purposeful and that He is the great Master Conductor of this symphony we call life on earth. There will be moments of discordance. Things may seem off beat for a time. We will feel that we are suspended and holding indefinitely with no rhyme or rhythm to the process. And yet with one wave of His hand, there is resolution and resonance. Harmony is restored and the movement is complete. All that is required is that we obey His direction and let the music flow in His perfect timing.

Today, we are beginning the process of healing. I am drifting with the tide as calmly as I can. I'm so grateful for the ebb and flow of tears and emotions which allows us to release the pain and cleanse and heal our wounds without overwhelming us all at once. Our heavenly Father put such loving care into us, His creation. He truly is an awesome God. We were never promised a life free of pain or troubles. He did promise that He would never leave us or forsake us. We experienced that promise this weekend first hand. We felt the prayers and the love of friends and family. It has been hard but we are on the mend and all will be well in time.

Rest in peace, sweet Lucky

I told my kids this weekend that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. They seemed pretty skeptical and I guess I don't blame them. Love is a risky proposition. The outcome is that at some point there will be loss and it will be painful. There's no way around that. But I believe it is what we were ultimately created for and that love is the very essence of God. Yes, I wish I still had my beautiful dog but after all is said and done, I guess you could say that at least for a time, I was Lucky in love.

Blessings,

~Cat

My Fellow Americans...We, the People are a Hot Mess!

2012-08-31T14:08:00.000-05:00

Since this blog was originally started to leave a legacy behind for my kids and to chronicle their childhood life and times from my perspective, I feel like I can't shy away from this topic any more. What I am about to say may make some of you uncomfortable but I'm going to go ahead and say it anyway. Besides, It's just my opinion. Okay, here goes...

First of all, I hate politics. I love America but politics give me an Excedrin headache. Usually I like to stay out of politics mainly because I'm not under the illusion that I know it all, unlike so many others I see blowing hot air all over the internet. Since I am aware of my intellectual shortcomings, I try to do a lot of research about the issues because the mainstream news media is, for lack of a better word...whack. Since this is an election year which I believe is crucial to the well being and the very future of the country I love so well, I have rolled up my sleeves, removed my rose colored glasses and taken a hard look at both candidates and the issues whirling around them. In this case, I am an inquiring mind and I really want to know. What I am discovering is that politics are not necessarily the underlying problem. The problem, my friends is none other than We, the people.

Before you get all indignant and outraged and whatnot, hear me out. I will admit that I am very blessed to have a loving husband, 3 healthy children, a home and safe vehicles to drive around in our safe little city with a great school district. I worship God freely in a church I love. I am here, at this place in my life by the grace of God, the incredible integrity of my hard working husband, some sacrifices made in the early years of our marriage and some hard choices we, as a couple and individually, have made along the way. Some may look at my life and say "Must be nice to be her." Well, quite frankly...it is. I am immodestly proud to say that because, well... it wasn't always 'nice' to be me.

If you've read my blog you know I've been on my own since the age of 16 and there was a time in my life when my 71 Chevy Chevelle was my only home. I existed on Fritos and baloney sandwiches and the kindness of my friends' parents and sometimes even total strangers. I have worked at countless minimum wage jobs doing all kinds of manual and service oriented jobs. I know what it is like to have plenty and I know what it is like to have next to nothing. Homeless is about as poor as you can get. So...when I hear people saying that if someone is a Conservative (which I am), then they must automatically hate the poor and are out of touch with social issues and are just a wealthy, Bible thumping bunch of windbags, stepping on the heads of the downtrodden to climb the ladder of success, I must respectfully call BS on you. I will point out that you are unfortunately doing something that I believe is systematically unraveling our society and that is: judging an ENTIRE group and placing them into a category which you judge to be despicable. You denounce them and dismiss them all outright, refusing to listen to them, without taking a moment to realize that we are all INDIVIDUALS with our own story and experiences. Conservatives and Democrats and other political parties are all doing this. I see it every day and it makes me furious. It also makes me sad.

Here's one reason why I think we do this. And remember I'm stating my own opinion based on my own experiences, here. Some people...lets call them fringe groups...get so 'in your face' while trying to recruit others to adopt their philosophy that they go off the deep end. Westboro Baptist Church n.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westboro_Baptist_Church is one of them. Complete lunatics who have no shame and commit hateful acts in the name of God. They don't speak for Christians and are a disgraceful hate group. Here's another example: I was astounded to discover that there is group of women, who call themselves feminists, dressing up and parading around in (and I'm sorry to say this out loud) vagina costumes in order to call attention to their feeling of victimization because they want the government to, and I quote, "stay out of their wombs." This kind of childish nonsense is not serving anyone and basically sends the message that women (by their definition) are apparently only the sum total of their girly parts. If you don't believe me, I'll show you what I'm talking about. I'm sorry in advance for the tacky nature of this picture but I didn't think you would believe me unless you saw it for yourselves. I find myself helplessly giggling in horror at the absurdity of this image. Who thought this up? Why did anyone agree with it? Where does one purchase a pattern for a vagina costume? So many questions....

"Code Pink" activists

Is this the most constructive way to make a point for your cause? I think not. Though I suppose you mean well, I'm a woman and I say: Change your clothes, grow up and do something more productive and appropriate with your time. You are embarrassing yourselves, which is your right. Still, I'm sure a lot of women wish you would stop it.

I'm going to give it to you straight, ladies. There is no 'WAR on Women.' What a ridiculous notion. We may strongly disagree on issues of abortion and paying for women's birth control pills and other female reproductive issues. We can debate that thoughtfully and respectfully and most importantly with the most powerful resource we have...the right to VOTE. Please don't buy into the assertion that anyone is at WAR with women. To do so is an insult to anyone who ever served, fought, lost their life or lost a loved one in combat. War is war. It is hell. Debating women's reproductive rights is a difference of beliefs and opinions that is being considered and (whether we agree with the outcome or not) will be legislated by our elected officials. That's the way our system works. It is not war, it is a constitutional debate. Get that straight in your heads, please. (P.S. Condoms are cheap and abstinence is free).

My fellow Republicans, this is for you. Democrats should not be recklessly characterized as atheist, socialist, tree hugging, activist, hippie intellectuals. Members of my family are Democrats and are some of the smartest, funniest, socially conscious, responsible and hard working, sweet, and loving people I know. They are amazing parents. Though we may not always agree, I respect them and their views. I learn from them. I am certain that not all thoughtful and intelligent Democratic or liberal women agree with the kind of spectacle shown in the photo above or advocate these women speaking for them. Why? because it detracts from their message and makes them look foolish.

The same goes for the other side. Todd Akin said some painfully ridiculous things about his cockamamie ideas about rape. It made me cringe. It made 99.9% of Republicans do a nationwide, simultaneous groan and eyeroll. Let me make this abundantly clear: Just because a bunch of women dress up in nutty costumes doesn't mean all Democratic women are supporting them. Just because Todd Akin is foolish and irresponsible with his words, doesn't mean all Republicans agree with his outlandish comments. Do you see where I'm going with this?

We the people spend way too much time shouting our own message and too little time listening to each other. I mean listening with the intent to understand. The thing is, opinions by their very nature can't be wrong. It's just a personal belief that is expressed. They are just opinions. Why argue over it? Listening to each other, especially our differences, that is how we learn. It's all about respect. We need a lot more of that if we're going to come to a better understanding of one another. After all, we are called the United States of America. If we're not careful we'll just be the Divided States of America.

One more thing. When President Barack Obama was elected, although I did not vote for him, I stood in front of my TV and tears came to my eyes as I saw him take the podium for his victory speech. It was a momentous event in American history. I was proud for him. I was really rooting for him. Praying for him to succeed. I was hopeful for the change he wanted to bring about. It sounded so great. Four years later, I am sad to see that he was unable to move the country forward as he thought he would. Through research, I've learned more about him and his background. I don't agree with many of his core beliefs and don't believe he has proven to be an effective leader. Some say he wasn't given a chance. I have to wonder how many years worth of a chance a President should be given. We are beyond the point of blaming this side or that. There is plenty of blame to go around on both sides of the aisle. I'm voting for Romney/Ryan because what is going on now is not working. I feel we need a President who has a better understanding of the way business and finance work in the private sector. Here's another thing...I am not a racist because I'm not voting for Obama. Casting a vote for the other guy does not make someone a racist. Voting for someone strictly because of the color of their skin would more likely fall into that category. I'm not doing that. Please don't assume that about me or anyone else.

Life and death are in the power of the tongue. As a nation, I pray we will come together and stop talking so loud that we drown each other out. Of course as a believer, I'm trusting God and His will for our country. Whoever wins the election, I will do my best to stand behind them and do my part. I'll try to be careful with my words and opinions. I will listen and give others a fair hearing. The Bible tells us to do that. As you can see in my comments above, I don't suffer fools gladly. It's not always easy but the most important lessons never are.

I'm hoping and praying that by the time my kids read this they will be able to say "Wow, I'm sure glad people started behaving like responsible adults and cleaned up that hot mess they had back in 2012." I hope they look up to our generation with gratitude and pride in the same way we respect and admire the generations that came before us. Don't you?

Peace and Blessings

~Cat

***Your comments and feedback are greatly appreciated. If you do not wish to sign in with an account to leave a comment, simply click on 'ANONYMOUS' then leave your comment and sign your name and/or web address so I'll know who stopped by! Thanks.

Meteors, Adam and Eve and the Wisdom of Children

2012-08-15T19:19:00.000-05:00

Many of you who know me would probably agree that I tend to turn just about anything into a party with my kids. If there is a thunderstorm, we go out into the porte-cochere with snacks and blankets and have what we call a 'Boomer' party. We count down from the lightning strike until the thunder crack and then raise our hands and yell "TOUCHDOWN" at the top of our lungs. This is big fun for us because we're essentially a bunch of dorks. We have family movie night, epic Nerf gun battles with the neighbor kids (David is the instigator and director of these battles), geode rock busting parties and various other really cheap and fun activities that the kids enjoy and since I get to participate in my pajamas, it's a win/win.

So...when an event like the recent Perseid meteor shower comes along I immediately think: Shooting Star Party. We arranged all of the deck chairs into what we decided were the ideal positions for meteor observation, David popped popcorn, I made lemonade and we invited some good friends over to hang out. Overall, it was really fun and we got to see quite a few meteors. The kids watched in awe for a while until their attention spans gave way to other more exciting pursuits. We all made some great memories and to me, that's all that is required to call any party a success.

The most poignant memory I'll take away with me from that night doesn't really have anything to do with meteors, though. It will be of my son Michael and his ability to 'wow' me on occasion with the way his amazing little mind works. We were gazing up at the night sky and together we recited the old rhyme "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight...I wish I may, I wish I might...have this wish I wish tonight." At the end, I asked the kids what they had wished for. Mattie (being Mattie) said "I wish I had a million dollars." I can't say as I blame her. If you're making a wish, might as well make it a big one, right? Then it was Michael's turn and I'll never forget this. He said quietly, while still looking up at the stars: "I wish God had forgiven Adam and Eve right from the beginning because things would have been a lot easier from then on."

Wow. I wish I could report to you that I had some meaningful response to this statement. I really don't remember what I said because honestly, I had never even considered this observation in that context for some reason. He got me thinking. 'Yeah...why didn't He forgive them? Michael is right. It would have been a lot easier. If God is such a forgiving God, why didn't He just give them a pass? He knew they were going to eat the fruit. Why did it matter so much? Why 'THE FALL' and the sinning, and animal sacrifices and the wars and chaos and plagues and pestilence and punishments? Why the ultimate torturous sacrifice of Jesus dying on the cross to reconcile us with the God who created us and loves us? It could all have been avoided if He had just forgiven Adam and Eve on the spot, right?' Kinda makes you wonder...

I prayed on this. I pondered this. Eventually, I even Googled it. The answer came one morning while I was out walking our dog, Lucky, and was having my prayer time. I felt God speaking into my spirit and then it became clear to me. In order for us to have what God wants most from us, which is relationship, there has to be free will. The God of the universe had to give us the choice to reject Him. To let us 'go it alone' and then return to Him freely if we desired to do so. Imagine someone saying to you "Love me because I said so." Doesn't work that way. Real love means we choose to love one another despite our faults or imperfections or regardless of how powerful or powerless the object of our love is. To be loved, chosen for love, is probably the most enriching human experience of all. I believe it is what we were created for. Love. Praise. Honor. Worship. Cultivating relationship. With each other and with our Creator.

I see this fallen world as something like boot camp to prepare us for everlasting life. Without the experience of loss or grief, how could we ever fully appreciate life and how precious it is? Without sadness, how would we measure pure joy? Without feeling lack we would be unaware of the blessings of provision. Without sickness and pain in our bodies we wouldn't comprehend the perfection of our heavenly bodies to come. Without the bondage of sin we would never understand the unimaginable gift of grace, mercy and freedom in Christ. Trouble and difficulties, even emotional pain, cultivate our faith and teach us obedience and surrender. It all makes sense to me. Easy isn't always better. I am learning to be more grateful for the ongoing refining process of life. Nobody said it wouldn't get hot and uncomfortable in the furnace. The promise is that we will come out more clean and more pure and more beautiful than ever before. I can live with that. God knows what He is doing. After all, He's been doing it forever and in the infamous words of Prince...that's a mighty long time.

Our children have innate wisdom. They say things that confound us, challenge us and sometimes even push us to seek out answers we never even knew we had the questions for. My children are such an incredible blessing in so many ways. Once, Patrick, my oldest, said "Mom...why do people have the urge to do things that they already know are not going to be good for them and then do them anyway?" That one struck me dumb for a moment or two. I don't remember what I told him other than "Wow, that's a really good question. I might have to get back to you on that one." I don't think I ever did. Last year, Mattie was sitting in my lap on the couch and said "Mommy, why do people always say they are seeking God and that He is invisible? I see God all the time. All you have to do is look into the eyes of His people and that's us." I remember hugging her with tears running down my face and thanking her for sharing that with me. There's such wisdom in children hidden underneath all of the dirt and the noise and the sticky fingers and such. Yes, there is incredible wealth there that I am enjoying digging into every day. Such is the joy of parenthood.

Mattie explained that we can see God in each other's eyes and I am a witness to that fact. On a clear summer night, not long ago, as ribbons of light brilliantly streamed across the sky, I looked into the awestruck face of my eight year old son and clearly saw God's perfect love shining in his beautiful blue eyes. That's life, isn't it?

Blessings,

Cat

***Your comments and feedback are greatly appreciated. If you do not wish to sign in with an account to leave a comment, simply click on 'ANONYMOUS' then leave your comment and sign your name and/or web address so I'll know who stopped by! Thanks.

Does This Chicken Offend You?

2012-08-01T13:24:00.001-05:00

I swore to myself I would stay away from this one. Guess I need to stop swearing, huh? I really wanted to just stay out of the whole Chick-fil-A vs the same sex marriage debate. Why? Because there is so much misinformation and religious hypocrisy and hate and political posturing in that pool that I thought I'd be better off just sitting in a deck chair sipping a cold drink as I observe the last vestiges of American common sense slip down the drain.

Well, I changed my mind. I do that a lot. You'll get used to it. I've decided to weigh in with my OPINION which is worth exactly what you paid for it. If it offends you, you are free to close your eyes, read no further and then hit the delete button which is your RIGHT. I won't mind. Actually, I won't even know. We are all way too easily offended these days which is what led to this latest brouhaha over what the president of Chick-fil-A, Mr. Cathy (no relation) said in an interview in The Baptist Press about his stance on traditional marriage. If you have not read the interview (I had to look for it...I didn't even know there was such a thing as The Baptist Press) and you have commented on this issue in some social media outlet, then you are not using common sense. Sorry, but you should get your facts straight before you form an opinion. Then you can actually have what is referred to as an 'informed opinion' rather than a 'random opinion' which (in my opinion) is pretty worthless and potentially even dangerous. Here's the interview in which Mr. Cathy was speaking to a reporter with The Baptist Press which I'm guessing he probably assumed would be read mostly by...well...Baptists: http://www.bpnews.net/bpnews.asp?id=38271

That's it. He has said out loud in front of God and everybody that He built his company on Christian principles and believes in 'traditional marriage.' He means between a man and a woman in case anyone is confused by the reference to the bible. (Some biblical marriages were between a man and a harem full of women...I think it's safe to assume that since he was talking to a Baptist publication, he wasn't referring to that.) That's pretty much it in a nutshell. Hello, tempest...meet teacup.

I never saw anywhere in his comments that he was anti-anything. Or that he refused to serve anyone or hire anyone based on their sexual orientation. (Apparently they don't discriminate in either area). He was simply stating what he believes in, which is his right. He can model his American built company on any principles he wants to because last time I checked, this is a free country. He can give his charitable donations to anyone he wants to, as well. But don't worry. Here's the good news: When you build your multi-billion dollar company from the ground up, you can give your charitable donations to whomever you choose because that will be your right just as well. Nobody says you have to like what he says. If Chick-fil-A offends you, don't eat there. That is your right. Don't eat there every day!! That'll show 'em! Simple as that. However...When the mayors of two major US cities jump into the ring and threaten to keep this company from getting permits to build new locations there based on this man's beliefs, that IS discrimination. It is also illegal. It is also bullying and it scares the snot out of me.
**By the way, if you are going to base how you spend your money on where businesses stand on moral or political issues that don't line up with yours, you might as well just start walking everywhere, growing your own food, live in a hut and give up Slurpees forever.

Now, let's flip the switch for a moment. To all of my Christian friends out there...I feel ya. I know where you're coming from and I understand the feeling of desperation as we see traditional values and morality and respect for our Christian beliefs being attacked and taken away in the name of political correctness. I get it. But what are we supposed to do about it? Million dollar question, right? But let us take a deep breath and a step back. I must now be completely cheesy as I say to you: What would Jesus do? Let me say this clearly. As a believer, we know that Jesus died to reconcile our relationship with God. Every single sin was nailed into the cross with Jesus that day. This includes but is not limited to lying, cheating, adultery, murder, stealing, gossiping, coveting your neighbor's wife and his shiny new boat et al. If you are a Christian who believes homosexuality is a sin then it was covered too. So, you say (with a plank in your eye) Living in sin is wrong! We are supposed to hate sin and reject it!! Is that what Jesus did? The way I read it, the bible tells that Jesus approached sinners and was a friend to them. He loved them and healed them and forgave them day in and day out. That was His ministry, for heaven's sake. Hate the sin but love the person. Our relationship with God ultimately will come down to Him and us. As a body of believers, we are to spread the gospel (good news) about salvation and the amazing fact that it is free for ALL. Yes, fellow Christians I said all. How about we focus on doing what we were called to do as believers and trust God to shake things out as He sees fit? Just a thought.

So where do I stand on same sex marriage? I think it's a lot about semantics. Demand the word 'marriage' and you'll have a fight on your hands. Same sex unions? I believe in the right for people to choose who they love and for them to be allowed rights that other unions are allowed. Doesn't really matter if I agree with it or not. Don't we have free will to live our lives on this earth as we choose, especially in America? There are consequences to every choice we make. Still, my choices will result in my own consequences as others' will for them. We all have to live with that. I try to live as best I can by biblical Christian principles. Still, I'm a sinner. In word and deed more often than I care to admit. I'm not anti-anything. I'm pro-human and pro-love. I'm pro-Jesus. Furthermore, I think anyone's sexuality is a personal subject that I would rather see remain a private matter discussed between the individuals involved. For the record, if you are gay and Christian people are mean to you, or belittle you I'm sorry on their behalf. Please forgive them. They know not what they do.

Now, remember...this is my opinion. You don't have to agree with it or like it. But I get to say it anyway and if you are an intelligent, decent person you will respect my right to express it.

Let's all take our common sense out for a little exercise. We could all use it. Tolerance is a two-way street. If something offends you, walk away, turn away, tune it out and let it go. Forgive the shortcomings of others. Give yourself the gift of not taking everything so seriously. Pray for the sinners and the broken hearted. Live and let live and let God be God. Believe me He is way better at it and it's too big of a responsibility, anyway. Eat the chicken or don't eat the chicken. There's no need to be offended by the chicken. God's will prevails either way. If you don't believe in God, that is your right. I will still love you and pray for you because Jesus said I should.

Peace and Blessings,

Cat

Guilt, Pocket Frogs, and 'Having It All'

2012-07-11T15:10:00.000-05:00

I like to consider myself to be a pretty awesome mom. I wouldn't be too impressed, though. I also consider staying up really late and whiling away hours at a time with my kids while we play Pocket Frogs on our iPods/Phones to be a worthwhile activity. I am, shall we say, a bit eccentric in my parenting style. Well, lets just get it out there...I'm eccentric in most areas of my life. I've come to terms with my quirkiness and unconventionality. My kids, being innocently unaware of anything to the contrary think I'm a great mom just the way I am. I admit that their opinion is the one that ultimately matters the most to me. Honestly, that unconditional love from my kids is like the fuel in my engine. Really keeps me going, especially on the days when I don't feel much like 'going' if you know what I mean.

This summer has most definitely been lazy, a bit hazy and completely crazy at times. I've had a lot to deal with. Recovering from surgery, various bizarre setbacks and a MRSA Staph infection that really wiped out what few reserves I had begun to build up. I am on the mend and doing much better but after emerging from the cave that is my bedroom and squinting painfully into the light that is my household responsibilities, I felt akin to a vampire (no, I don't believe in vampires but like the metaphor) emerging into sunlight for the first time. "Aaaaiiiiieeeeggghhhh!!" Is sort of the sound that the little voice in my head makes as I survey my little kingdom and see it in ruins all around me. I've wanted to fold my proverbial cape over my eyes and retreat into the safety and darkness of my cave on more than one occasion. Actually, in the interest of truthfulness, on more than one occasion, I've done just that.

Daily, I hear that little voice in my head saying things like "Seriously...get your act together. Have you seen the pantry? You used to keep everything organized by color and alphabetized, for Pete's sake!" Or "Hey, how about you make up your bed for the first time since MAY? Whadda ya think?" And "You stay home all day with your kids. Other women have full time jobs and still find a way to keep up with everything and keep orderly, pristine homes. They are out there having it all. Marriage, career, kids, household...I mean, what exactly do you DO?" You get the drift...

After listening to this dialogue for a couple of minutes, I usually tell the little voice to bite me and just zip it. Lucky for me, like a stubborn strain of bacteria, I have become increasingly immune to the negative little voice inside my head and am resistant to take it all that seriously. The loving, positive little voice is getting much more air time these days. Denial? Maybe. Whatever works, right? Here's the thing...I do feel guilty at times. I wish I could do more. Wish I were more motivated or that I had my usual mommy-mojo back. Sometimes I feel like a failure. I pray for strength and wisdom. And then I guess I snap out of it and realize that I'm really doing the best that I can with the cards I've been dealt. Grace washes over me and I just let it go. I see things more clearly and realize that my kids don't give a rat's rump about an unorganized pantry or unmade bed or having a pristine home. They just want me to put on my jammies and play computer games with them. They want my time and attention. My husband wants me to rest and get my strength back as the doctor has ordered. He doesn't care that his kingdom is a little messy. He just wants his queen back. The only one who's been putting pressure on me is, well...me. I'm working on that but old habits die hard, you know? Say a little prayer for me, will you?

Thankfully, there's a vacation to Colorado on my horizon. I really need a change of scenery. Getting ready for a trip is a lot of work but I'm really motivated to get the heck out of my cave for a while. I'm 'going to grandma's' and I know we will all be spoiled rotten and nurtured like crazy. I've gotta tell you...I'm going to eat it up like candy.

Yes, there are superwomen out there 'Doing it All' and 'Having it All.' I will always admire them wistfully from afar. But honestly? They can have it all. I really don't want it. I'll just be on the sidelines in my jammies silently cheering them on and happily munching popcorn as my kids and I advance to the highest levels to be attained on Pocket Frogs.

After all, summer will be over soon enough and the realities of life will take over. The memories, though...we'll have those for a lifetime. Ribbit, ribbit... :o)

Blessings,
~Cat

I'm Not An Intellectual But I Play One On TV

2012-07-05T18:00:00.000-05:00

Being famous doesn't make you smart...It just means that a lot of people know who you are and it gives you a really big audience to be ridiculous in front of.

Why am I writing about this today? Maybe because I've had a fever since Sunday, I'm on a bunch of antibiotics that are making me nauseous. I'm bored and maybe a little grumpy, so I've been playing around on the internet and inadvertently stumbled across something that really blew my mind. It was a collection of 4th of July Tweets, which were posted by celebrities. Most of them were upbeat and positive...the stuff you would expect. And then there were the ones that made me do the mother of all eyerolls. I won't bore you with all of the hate and vitriol, you can Google it for yourselves. It was along the lines of 'America sucks, America is bad, America is oppressive' and so on and so forth. The one that really got my attention was the one from Chris Rock. He said:

"Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren't free but I'm sure they enjoyed fireworks."

Here's the thing. I'm not going to debate his right to say that. He has every right AS AN AMERICAN to say whatever snarcastic (my new word) things he likes. I'm 100% in favor of free speech....messy as it is sometimes. I personally happen to think what he said was ridiculous and divisive and an insult to African Americans all across the US...most importantly every African American veteran or soldier who is currently deployed who put themselves in harm's way to protect Chris Rock's right to say whatever dumb thing impulsively pops out of his mouth. Of course that's just my opinion. Apparently some people thought it was really funny and they 'got it' and agreed with him. Oh, well...As Grandma used to say: "It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round." Historically speaking, he was kind of right but kind of wrong at the same time. Sadly, he probably doesn't even know exactly what he is saying. He just thinks he knows. That can be a dangerous thing.

http://www.pbs.org/wnet/slavery/timeline/1776.html

What gets me about Chris Rock and countless other celebrities is that they use their power of influence by making flip remarks or fevered political or humanitarian statements without really having any real grasp of (A) all of the facts or (B) the impact of what they are saying to impressionable people who (for whatever reason) are sadly looking to them as role models. I don't have a problem with famous people stating their opinions, I'm against the rest of us regular folks looking to them for wisdom and letting ourselves be mentally manipulated by people who are essentially entertainers and actors and of course, politicians. (You're saying to yourself...'what's the difference?') Anyway, these people have publicists and media experts managing their careers whose sole purpose is to get and keep their clients as popular and as visible as possible. They will say and do anything to keep themselves in the public eye including stirring the pot and creating dissent. Yes, some of them really mean well and their hearts are in the right place. Some do amazing charity work and mobilize people to do incredible things for their fellow man. It just bothers me when I see people blindly following and believing celebrities and their agendas and causes without seeking the facts for themselves to ensure that they are really and truly on board with what their favorite celebrity is advocating.

The solution? Do your own research. Everything you need to know is one click away. Find out the truth for yourself and then, by all means, align yourself with whomever you feel best represents you and your core beliefs. And try to remember this:

“Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself.
Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes.” Proverbs 26:4-5

Look, maybe Chris Rock just made a bad joke. Maybe he was having an off day. It's possible, I guess. Let's face it, all of us have said things that we didn't mean or just got all wrong, myself most definitely included. I'm just a regular person. I have a very small audience and little or no influence on the world at large. Still, I say dumb stuff sometimes and hope others will give me grace and hopefully another chance. So...Chris Rock, if you're reading this: I forgive you for being irresponsible with your remarks to your fans on July 4th. I know this is a massive relief to you. You're welcome.

If you want further proof that famous people say dumb things, here you go. Most of these made me laugh out loud:

This one is one of my personal favorites from Tom Cruise who has a whole selection of silly quotes dedicated solely to him.

"I will never be done with love. Never, never. I love relationships and I love women. I’m going to get married again. I’ll never give up on that."

He also said: "There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance."

(I wonder what Oprah thinks about that particular statement, don't you?)

Here's the site: http://www.legendsofamerica.com/qu-celebritystupid.html

If that's not enough side-splitting fun for one day, here you go:

http://www.2spare.com/item_83287.aspx

See, Chris...no worries. You're in good company.

One Parting thought: As Malcom Forbes said..."The dumbest people I've ever known are the ones who know everything."

That certainly puts me out of the running! :0)

Blessings,

~Cat