Jeremy & Kate Morris

Hospitalization and Recovery

2012-02-29T08:00:00.000-05:00

What I have realized through this process is that I take a lot of things for granted.

· Being able to sit up on my own

· Being able to walk

· Being able to go to the bathroom

· Being able to eat

· Wanting to eat

· Being able to do any of the above on your own

· Being able to move fast enough to avoid harm

· Not being a burden on other people

· Not being afraid

Going into the surgery I figured as soon as I could get out of the hospital I would want too. But when the doctors did their rounds on Thursday and told me I could leave the hospital that night if I wanted to my immediate response in my head was no way are they crazy the surgery was barely over 48 hours ago. I think what I said to Kate was maybe we should wait till tomorrow, which she was fine with because she had wanted me to stay until at least Friday all along.

There is a huge difference between visiting someone in the hospital and being a patient that I am not sure I was aware of. When you can barely sit up on your own, and it is really painful to get up and go to the bathroom the idea of getting out of the hospital and having to do all of that on your own doesn’t sound so great. As annoying as it is to have people checking on you every hour or so and waking you up in the middle of the night, it is nice to know that if something happens they are there, it is the ultimate safety blanket.

Don’t get me wrong I was happy to get out of the hospital but there was definitely a part of me that was going to miss it (I mean they get excited when you walk the circle, and are able to get up and pee by yourself), where else to you get that kind of support and encouragement. When I am home no one is excited when I go to the bathroom, actually sometimes people are upset about it. Stupid toilet seat.) I can understand how people who are chronically sick would be very scared to leave.

When you come home from the hospital, especially in our case there isn’t a huge greeting party, except for Kate she has been my cheerleader throughout this process. The reality hits that you are fairly disabled. The first night we were home I thought; let’s take a walk up to the market. I was going to need to do this anyway when Kate went home for her show so why not get it out of the way to prove I could do it.

While it is only 3 blocks to the market what I hadn’t calculated in my head is that the 1^st block has about a 2 story incline. By the time I got to the top of the incline I looked at Kate and said maybe we should go back, that was all I could do. This was extremely humbling to realize that if I made Kate mad, which can happen more often than you think, or for those of you who know me, less often than you think, and she left that I was helpless to do much for myself.

Another realization that hit me was when we were actually out somewhere. I realized that I was actually in danger and a hindrance to people around me. I am not moving very fast so if someone makes a quick move, or if I'm not carefaul about what I do I could run into someone. Normally this wouldn’t be a big deal but if someone hit me right now I would probably fall down and not only would that hurt but what would it do to my incision. All of the sudden I was afraid to be out in public.

"The Illusion of Safety" (this will be a full blog post someday) that I normally live under had been lifted.

When I saw people walk by who were kind of scary looking I knew that if they attacked us or confronted us there was absolutely nothing I could do to prevent it, I couldn’t run, fight back, I really can’t even talk that loudly to have a scary voice. Even last night Kate and I went to dinner in Durham in what wasn’t a horrible section of town, but it was dark and rainy and a guy went by on a bike and took a second look at us. Instead of going to my door since he was on Kate’s side of the car I went to hers just so I was between him and her, but if he had bad intentions there was absolutely nothing I could do.

It is hard to not let that fear overwhelm you. I have a much better appreciation for what people go through on a regular basis, and I hope I am able to appreciate the things that on a daily basis I take for granted.

One of the biggest lessons for me during this process has been humility, and the perspective that God has given me through this process. My only hope is that I can use what God has opened my eyes too and not forget it.

Ephesians 4:2 NIV – “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

Spotlight

2012-02-28T15:54:00.000-05:00

*** Got this nice surprise in my in-box today. JAB is an online newsletter for women and has become a great resource. It is through JAB that Jeremy and I were able to find our apartment here in Chapel Hill. They have featured a couple of blurbs following our story and then did this feature today. Thanks Ashley S. for all the support. If you want to learn more about JAB click here ***

We are pleased to bring you a regular feature called JAB Spotlight, in which we introduce you to a special individual who has made a profound difference in our community and in our world.

Ashley & Jeremy

Spotlight On: Jeremy Morris

Our inaugural spotlight is actually on JABBER Kate Merrill Morris' husband, Jeremy (an honorary JABBER if we ever saw one). Many of you have been following the story of the West Palm Beach couple since they first posted on JustAskBoo that they were looking for temporary housing in North Carolina while Jeremy donated a kidney to Kate's best friend. Yes, you read that right. He gave her an organ. It was his (and Kate's) idea. And they never once doubted that it was the right thing to do.

After receiving a double lung transplant in 2001 to correct complications from Cystic Fibrosis, the medications vital to keeping Ashley Quinones' new lungs healthy have had a damaging effect on her kidneys. Jeremy and Kate first started the kidney donation process in the Fall of 2010, and it has taken over a year to get the various medical and insurance approvals they needed - including overturning an initial denial for the surgery by Ashley's insurance company.

A week ago today marked the transplant, and I am thrilled to report that the surgery was "textbook" according to their doctors. Both patients were discharged after reaching all their recovery milestones on target, and are recuperating at home. Knowing Kate on a personal level for many years, I wasn't too surprised she and Jeremy went down this path. Regardless, reading their thoughts on the decision to donate, and seeing how their faith in God comforted them on their journey, was truly inspirational. On behalf of JABBERs across the country who have been rooting for you, we wish you a continued healthful recovery and salute you for this selfless and loving act of friendship and faith.

Oh, and if you were wondering, a JABBER did help them find the perfect apartment in Chapel Hill - as if there was any question that one of you would come through for them! For more of their story, click HERE.

Pain Management

2012-02-28T08:00:00.000-05:00

This is the most important thing after you come out of surgery. It was described to me in many ways, but the perfect cocktail to make you feel better is the one that stuck with me. The most important word though is Management.

Manage means to succeed in being able (to do something) despite obstacles. (This really doesn’t help what I’m trying to talk about at all) My point is that they don’t call it Pain Elimination, there is going to be pain.

Which brings me back to another reason I decided to write this blog; so that all the glory would be given to God?

I haven’t wanted to force bible verses into the Blog but God has put one on my mind over the last couple of days. It is Luke 9:23 then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me”.

You have to be thinking how this fit into Pain Management, and I really have been asking God that same question but follow me here and let’s see where it leads. This is a verse I have meditated on many times in the past and every time I have focused on the idea of taking up my cross, what does that mean, what is my cross, how do I take it up. What I realized is that I am focusing on the wrong part of the verse; the most important part is to follow him. Jesus has already lifted my cross.

When we follow him it will not always be easy, the beginning of that verse requires that we deny ourselves and this is bound to cause immeasurable amount of pain. It is not if but when will we experience this pain. The next question is what do we do when we are in the pain? How do we act?

We will get back to that; let’s talk about what it feels like after you donate a kidney. The one coordinator told me I would feel like I had been hit by a bus. This was not how it felt at all; it felt like I was stabbed right through the middle of the gut with one of those giant Ninja Swords (it didn’t feel like it was pushed all the way through my body, but just into my gut).

However, that doesn’t really finish it, and then it felt like someone took my insides apart moved everything around and put everything back together, only it didn’t quite fit exactly the same. To be honest this isn’t all that far from the truth.

I have worked on cell phones for the last 7 years and I have become very good at repairing them. Over time you learn the where the parts go and are able to take them out and put them all back in, but those first couple of times you try this you always end up with an extra part or screw (I hope they were able to figure out where all my extra parts went, even though I have been told on many occasions I have a screw loose).

I can’t even imagine how hard this is for the doctors cause here is the catch, when repairing manufactured products they all come off an assembly line and are created the same way, every screw is in the same spot. Well I don’t have screws, my insides are not exactly the same as someone else’s so every time they do this it is brand new, they do an amazing job, but in my mind sometimes I can see them just saying, close enough squeeze it back in there, as long as we can close it up should be good. I know that’s not the case (at least I think I do).

The pain is significant, much more than I had prepared myself for (Kate is saying I told you so as she is reading this), the medications controlled it very well but I was very limited. I did not respond well to oxycodone, it made me nauseous and completely knocked me out so I had them switch me to Vicodin (because I wanted to be like House) to see if it would work better. It did a much better job of stopping the pain without making me useless, and I have been comfortable ever since.

Now you didn’t think I would forget the bible study at the top did you? I believe the answer is in Romans 5:3-5 “we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”

It is easy to rejoice after we know the results and we are through the pain, however to rejoice while we are in the midst of pain is what Christ has called us to and shows the true character of a disciple of Christ.

Introducing Jash

2012-02-27T08:00:00.000-05:00

JASH

Actual Age: 37

Transplant Age: 7 days

Weight: ¼ pound

Size: 4 inches long, 2.5 inches wide and 1.5 inches thick

Born & Raised In: Jeremy

Relocated To: Ashley

Occupation: Filtering Blood and Urine Production

Hobbies: Regulating Blood Pressure and Eliminating Toxins

After the surgery, we decided the kidney needed a name… after all there was a time when it was not Jeremy’s kidney and not yet Ashley’s kidney, but just KIDNEY. Some names started being thrown around. It was decided that the name should be a combination of Ashley and Jeremy – a Brangelina kind of thing.

Ashley, Jeremy & Jash

Kelly, Ginny (Ashley’s sister and mom) and I were sitting around talking about all the name options. Meanwhile Jeremy was “asleep” in bed. At this point he was very out of it and doped up on drugs… but he was coherent and heard everything going on. All of a sudden, Jeremy raised his hand and starting spelling something. He air wrote J-A-S-H and then drew a big ------------------. Like “the end” “that’s it” “the final say” “underlined” “it has been spoken”. And from that day forward, it was known throughout the land as Jash (that was Ashely’s text response from the naming!).


Ashley with her new kidney

Jash is our super star. He has already started working overtime. We are so happy that Ashley is now home to Jash.


Jeremy with his replacement kidney

Dr. Cotton was kind enough to snap a photo of Jash during transplant. Thanks Dr. Cotton! View the picture at your own risk.

Click to see Jash warning: graphic material

Ashley's Discharge

2012-02-26T16:58:00.002-05:00

Ashley ready for discharge

Ashley got discharged on Saturday. The orders came in around 11am. Jeremy and I headed over to the hospital to say a final goodbye. It is hard to accept that we won't be a few steps away from each other.

Jeremy back at the hospital - having some separation anxiety

when we arrived, I went down to the pharmacy to pick up all Ashley's medication (and grabbed a starbucks!). Once I got back, we had a little bit of a wait. The nurses called for transplant, but they were not showing up. It is hard to believe that a hospital this big shuts down on the weekend. There was hardly anyone on staff.

When 1 o'clock started rolling around, we started to panic. Ashley had to receive her next set of medication at 2pm and it was a 45 minute drive to Sanford. This is the medication she is allergic too and had to be de-sensitized to. It is also through an IV and the home health agency was already on their way to her house. If she missed the timing, then she would just have to return to the hospital.

So we took matters into our own hands. Genevieve got a nurse and a wheelchair. We loaded everything up and headed downstairs. It was our version of wheelchair racing!

Ashley was loaded up in her dad’s car and with one final hug, she was off.

We are so glad both Jeremy and Ashley are on the road for a full recovery. Thank you for all your prayers and good wishes.

What it's like to be a kidney donor!

2012-02-26T09:00:00.002-05:00

This is why I started writing the blog, when I started researching donating a kidney I had a really hard time finding firsthand accounts of what it was like, how people have felt afterward and what their experience was like. So I am going to do my best to give you my account day by day.

I want to make a couple blanket statements before I start this process because I don’t think these thoughts and stories are always going to be pretty, but they are going to be honest.

I have never doubted before or since the surgery that Kate and I have made the correct decision to donate to Ashley
I am incredibly excited that she is doing so well with the new Kidney.
I am taking pain medication (just in case I need an excuse for something I write)
I reserve the right to add more to this list but can’t think of anything else right now.

So let’s start with the surgery day.

What is it like to have your kidney removed?

The honest answer is I really have no idea; you would have to ask the doctors. This really is one of the harder things to deal with mentally. My surgery was scheduled for 7:30 which meant I had to be there at 6 and I hadn’t eaten the entire day before because of the bowel prep. I hadn’t had any trouble sleeping until that night, just the anticipation of the surgery has most of your nerves on end, so I probably only got 3 or 4 hours of sleep but it felt like a lot less. To say the least I wasn’t in my best form that morning.

We showed up at the hospital met family and went up to the procedure waiting room. There was a giant guy at the desk, but he had a really calming personality, seemed like he was perfect for the job (I will let you figure out why). They took Kate and I back into the procedure suites (I like that they call them suites, makes it seem fancy, really it was just three walls with a curtain on one side). There were an endless line of doctors and nurses that came in, that asked you all the same questions, and gave us the lovely gown.

Two things strike me about the gown, is there really not a better option for people in the hospital? We have improved on so much but the gown they came up with 100 years ago is the best we can do. Secondly how did my super crafty wife not make me a personalized monogrammed gown, it just seems like something that would be right up her ally, not that I am complaining.

After the gown they put in the IV line and well you are pretty much ready to go. There was one doctor who I’m not sure what his background was but he had a very raspy voice and he was one of the last one’s to come in. He must have been my best man because his comment was you know you don’t have to do this you can still back out (we have a car waiting in the back and we can get you out of here). I’m not sure if I am sharing too much guy information here, but that is the job of the best man, not the only job, but the day of the wedding he needs to let the groom know that there is a way out.

Both.women and men are shaking their heads right now, women because they can't believe this happens, and men because they can't believe I told women that it happens, well it does and I'm sorry.

So they wheel you away from your wife as she is crying and you go down some weird halls that they don’t let anyone see and a bunch of half faces put you to sleep. I’ve heard people tell stories of counting backwards or them saying something, but both times I have been knocked out a half face came at me and said this is an oxygen mask and I think I just passed out because of fear I have no idea but that is the last thing I remember.

Then you wake up, you really have no idea what happened. Your family is next to you and they have completely understanding of everything that is going on, and you are just thinking do I know where I am and do I have pants on (which you don’t) and to be honest you aren’t thinking that because I’m not sure you realize you still have legs. I remember talking to several people, Kate, Mom, Keith, some people rolling me around and then getting taken to my room, which until I went back to visit Ashley after we checked out I had no idea where it was in the hospital.

They ask you to roll from the rolling cart to your bed which is just mean and very painful but somehow I did it, and then you are in your room.

It doesn’t feel like anything has been removed from you, it’s not like they took a finger or an arm or a leg. They took something you really didn’t know you had from a place that you really can’t feel or see. You know you have a giant incision in your belly (4 inches) and two holes below your belly button. It hurts, feels weird and is very uncomfortable, you have a button you can push every 10 minutes and I assumed it worked because the pain was controllable but I never felt a huge difference when I pushed it.

The actual experience is to be honest the best word to describe it is disappointing. I’m not sure if that makes sense, but they explained this very well and a lot in the process of becoming a donor. You are healthy going into surgery, and in the reality of the situation they are making your body worse, they are taking something away from you, so you don’t feel better afterwards. Besides pain maintenance there is really nothing for them to check with you to see if it took or if the surgery was successful. If you are alive and breathing your surgery was a success.

That seems like enough information for today, I think Kate is going to post the kidney picture today and I will let her give the more fun updates, but I wanted to get started with the experience before it got to removed from my mind.

Hope you didn't miss me

2012-02-25T10:48:00.001-05:00

And that I am allowed to come back after Kate has been doing such a better job than I ever did.

In my mind I figured I would come out of the surgery and type a post almost immediately but that was definitely not the case. I mean I’m sure I could have written something, I just very much doubt that it would have been worth reading. So today is Saturday at 11am, exactly 4 days and 4 hours approximately after the surgery started and I am feeling up to writing something.

It has been a crazy 4 days, you prepare for something like this but it is never quite what you expect, and if you get to know me any better you will know that I think the word expectation is a 4 letter word. But that is a whole blog post after the kidney story.

I am doing really well according to everyone, not as well as I would like but I feel very blessed for what I am able to do and the support that I have. I am very lucky to have a wife like Kate who has been by my side every step of the way since the surgery, spending three nights on what looked like a very uncomfortable chair and helping me every step along the way.

We had a great team of doctors and nurses to help us get started on the recovery and I couldn’t have picked a better place to have the surgery. In the next couple of days I will update on what my experiences were like since that is one of the main reasons I wanted to write this blog. When I tried to research what it was like for the donor I really couldn’t find very many firsthand experiences.

But for now I am going to go see Ashley get discharged so that is just going to have to wait.

Discharge Day

2012-02-24T18:22:00.000-05:00

Jeremy was discharged today!!!

Like every other day in the hospital, it started by multiple doctors visiting. Dr. Watson, the surgeon, came and spied on us... he could not have been more pleased with how Jeremy's wounds looked and how he is recovering. After the entire transplant team came around, they put the orders in for Jeremy's discharge.

A little while later, Jeremy's prescriptions were ready, so I took the long walk to pharmacy on the opposite end of the hospital. While I was in the long wait to receive the medications, Jeremy texted and said they discharged him! I must admit it was happening all a little too fast for me. But I rushed back up to the room and luckily found Jeremy's parents had packed up most of everything.

Before we wheeled Jeremy out, we decided to say goodbye to Ashley. It was bittersweet to leave the hospital, especially leaving Ashley. The departing moment was made even more special when we received a surprise... a very special gift. I promise to post pictures and all the details. But this gift deserves its own entire blog post (yes, it is that great). So I will just make you wait in suspense {I know, such a tease}.

Back to the discharge. Jeremy's parents brought him down when I brought the car around. I had planned on posting all the pictures, but smart little me forgot to put the memory card in the camera – sadly no photo documentation.

Once we got to the apartment, Jeremy and I both crashed! His parents came and help us move all our things into the house. After lying on the couch for quite a while, we took a short walk. Jeremy is now napping and I am going to do some unpacking.

I have lots of pictures and posts to publish. I think I have already 3 or 4 in the works. With all the commotion at the hospital, there was just little time to get it all done. But I promise they are all on their way (just maybe a little out of sequential order).

Thanks again for all your prayers.

Recovery Day 2 Recap

2012-02-24T09:48:00.000-05:00

All the days are starting to run together…. I am not even sure what day of the week we are on (but I do know that today is my sister’s birthday – Happy Birthday Betsy! You’re a great Big Sis!)

So excuse me if I repeat the updates or miss something. It has been hard for me to make timely updates because there is so much going on. But here we go.

Jeremy

· Made 6 laps around the hall

· IV removed

· Pain Pump removed

· Is eating full meals

· Pain meds were switched and he is doing great… really this has been his big turning point. He looking and acting like his normal self with the better fitting pain medication

· He got dressed and brushed his teeth (I am thankful for that)

· His outer bandages were removed

· Walked without assistance

· Took a shower last night

· He visited Ashley and was reunited with Jash

· Sat through an interview and photo session

· Got the clearance for Friday discharge

· And got a much better night’s sleep last night

Ashley

· Woke up on the 5^th floor!

· Moved off the Pain Pump

· No more need for heart and blood pressure monitor

· Pain management under control

· Had a BM movement

· Was able to move to the chair

· Was reunited with Jeremy

· Ate full meals

· Press interview and photos

· Visited with LOTS of friends and family

· Was able to get a good night’s rest

· WALKED!!!! This was a BIG one. She walked a lap around the hall.

· Accomplished goals for the day: walk laps around the floor, transition to breakthrough pain management, drink more water

· Set recovery day 3 goals

Kidney Cutie Reunion

2012-02-23T18:59:00.004-05:00

Today Jeremy, Ashley and Jash were reunited

* Jash is the kidney *

Here are pics from the beautiful moment

Jeremy on is way to Ashley

First Sight

Big Hug

Ashley so happy about seeing Jeremy

I LOVE this one!

talking about the experience

KIDNEY CUTIES!!!!!!

Rock Star Status

2012-02-23T09:58:00.001-05:00

Jeremy is a rock star. As of last night he had reached all his major milestones.
1. sitting up
2. walking
3. pee on his own (there is that word again)
4. BM (as it is called in the "business") movement
5. gas
6. pain control
7. eating liquids

He made it through the night. He was a little uncomfortable - after surgery there is a bunch of gas in your body because they fill you with air to help move things around. So it is typical to feel blotted and gassy after the surgery.

Being the true Jeremy he is, Jeremy got up alone several times in the middle of the night to use the bathroom (I was there but with ear plugs in). He is already proving he can take care of himself - which is a good thing.

So by 6am he was up and feeling uncomfortable and being sick of his bed. So we took 2 laps around the hall! He sat in his chair for a while. and then decided it was back to bed (and I took advantage of some more sleep too).

Around 9am the transplant surgical team came around. They are overly pleased with Jeremy's progress!!!!!! wooooohoooooo. They are happy he has hit all his goals (read above) and think he is doing great. They have switched him to solid foods, in moderation. The IV and pain pump are going away. We are changing oral pain killers to find a better fit. They want him to keep up what he is doing. And said he will be discharged tomorrow for sure!

We LOVE this good report.

I have not been down to see Ashley yet. Late last night she was moved to Jeremy's floor - room 5207. I was able to spend some time with her was Jeremy was fast asleep. They have not been able to see each other yet, but it is on the agenda for today.

Ashley still needs to get up and walk around. She is feeling a little weak on her feet. Please pray for her strength and confidence as she takes those first few steps.

Thank you for going through this surgery and recovery with us. It has been a blessing to me to share it along the way. Through this whole experience, Jeremy and I have had such great peace and confidence. And I know that it has been God’s faithfulness that has led us through it. We have a big God who has protected every step of the way.

Update: Recovery Day 1

2012-02-22T16:34:00.003-05:00

Update: It has been a busy day for Kidney Cutie. Lots of doctors and lots of visitors - now lots of sleeping.

Last night I got to spend the night in Jeremy's room, so I have been able to stay with him the whole. We had several nurse visits throughout the night. The transplant team arrived at 7:30am. They gave a good report of the surgery and they are happy with how he is doing.

From about 7:30am on we have been nonstop. The surgical team also came up - good report. Dr. Watson, Jeremy's surgeon dropped in to "spy" on him. He was happy with the surgery and was glad to see him doing so well.

My parents also arrived for a visit. They left today, so they wanted to spend some time with Jeremy before they headed out of town. Shortly afterward, Jeremy's parents and brother got to the hospital. About that time my parents and I scooted up to Ashley's room.

We have a GREAT report from Ashley. I am so very excited to say, the kidney is doing beautifully. The kidney is producing a large quantity of urine (the main function of the kidney). The production of urine is the first sign that the kidney is working. I think only in this scenario is it joyous to talk about pee! Ashley has gone from barely going to the bathroom once or twice a day…. To producing a higher than normal level of pee (which is expected after transplant). Gradually her body will equal out as the kidney continues to function properly. Besides all the exciting pee news, we have other great stats

Blood pressure is also directly linked to the kidneys. Many of you remember us posting that Ashley's blood pressure had gotten really high - around 197 over something (I can't remember all the numbers people – there are just too many). Well when she was in the hospital they were able to reduce her BP to 115 with medication and rest. This morning her PB was 105 WITHOUT medication. This is when we jump up and down and shout YIPPPEEEE.

And the news keeps getting better. Ashley had developed mild diabetes some time before the surgery. This morning they were going to give her insulin as usual, but Ashley asked them to wait 30 minutes to see how her body worked without it. When I got up there, her sugar levels had dropped to 124 WITHOUT insulin - that is really close to a normal range. Hallelujah, this is such great progress!

*disclaimer – don’t quote me on all these numbers. Ashley was not awake for me to confirm. There is so much to remember… but main thing is it is good news*

Back on our front: Our day has been full of visits from nurses, coordinators and doctors {hence why I can’t get any updates posted}. In addition to all that activity, Jeremy sat up in a chair for an hour or two. He was also able to eat some clear broth. And then around 1ish Jeremy took a lap around the hall. He kept a really good pace (and was only smiling on the inside).

Jeremy is in high spirits and overall doing really well. Like I expected, he wants to try and do things himself. Not sure how much I will even get to play nurse. We have a few milestones to hit before we can go home, but the best thing is that he is on the mend and going to make a full recovery.

We are still so thankful to all the surgeons and doctors that worked their magic on these two very special Kidney Cuties. Today is a happy day.

All Smiles with the BEST anesthesiologist around!!!! He was in the operating room with both Ashely and Jeremy.

More updates to come.

Walking

2012-02-22T15:03:00.001-05:00

And smiling on the inside.

Thoughts from late at night

2012-02-22T14:03:00.000-05:00

*sorry for the delay - this was scheduled to post first thing this morning, don't know what happened.... there will be another update again today - maybe around 3 (or when Jeremy is napping) *

As I am sitting in the quite of Jeremy’s hospital room, I am reflecting on the amazing events of the day. Jeremy is sleeping peacefully and I have had several hours alone with him. It is hard to believe that such a diverse amount of activities and emotions can exist in a single day. Today has been an amazing day – full of struggle, courage and triumph. But now that I have had a few minutes to process this monumental thing we experienced, I am overwhelmed by the goodness that exists in people.

Our early (and cold) morning started off with a bundle of nerves as we prepared for Jeremy to go into surgery. I was allowed to stay with Jeremy in the surgery prep room. During that hour and a half we were pretty silent. We had spoken in length the night before and rose early to pray together. As a couple we were united in what was about to take place. And it is hard to explain, but both of us had an overwhelming peace…. Actually it is not hard to explain. We had a peace that transcends all other understanding, a peace that only God could give us. And we really did feel good about the surgery ahead. This is not to say we did not experience nerves or a few tears, but it was rather the confidence that we knew no matter the outcome of the day, our God was big enough to get us through it.

From the moment they wheeled Jeremy away at 7:30am, the time just seemed to fly by. As you probably read from all my posts throughout the day, Jeremy’s and Ashley’s surgeries were a great success. Textbook according to the doctors! It was a successful transplant – and the kidney took to its new home right away!

I am happy to report that Ashley is feeling great. She is still experiencing the normal after surgery aches and pains… but she said she feels strong! Her first words to me were “we did it”. And we did. Through all the struggles of the matching process and all the insurance setbacks, we made it to our goal.

But our goal is not a realistic picture of what today was. Yes, Ashley has a working kidney – that’s what we needed. But today was so much more than that. It was people coming together. It was a community surrounding us in support. It was families being bonded together. It was a love that spread so much further than just those in the operating room. And it was all to the glory of God.

During the surgery, God gave me this verse – my church had actually posted it on Facebook. After reading it, I just knew the post was for me and Jeremy.

I John 3:16

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.”

That truly is what Jeremy just did. I am so proud of my husband. I am amazed with the man he has become. When we first started dating I told Jeremy that I did not see him as all the things he had done wrong. But that I saw him for what he was going to become. And this is what he has become. I can’t even type this without tears because I never knew that I could love this man so much. I don’t even know the words to explain how I feel. But it has been such a blessing to hear all these wonderful things people are saying about my husband. And I am so thankful that his step of faith has encouraged others.

Really the biggest impact today has made on me is the outpouring of love from so many people. Posting updates during the surgery was the perfect thing to keep me occupied. The beautiful byproducts of the updates were the comments so many people left. I was overwhelmed by how many people left comments, sent notes, shared our story and were praying for us. I am blown away from the support of so many people - people from around the globe and so many of them that I have never even met. These acts of kindness, out pouring of love and complete support are what made this day so special. I don’t think I really grasp the magnitude of the impact the day really created. But I am blessed to be a small part of it. I sincerely thank you for going through this journey with us. We are so blessed beyond belief. And we are extremely joyful that Ashley has a new kidney.

I will continue to make multiple updates on the recovery and progress of Ashley and Jeremy. Plus there are some pictures to post! I am sure Jeremy will be back to writing the blog in no time. Sorry if I got to sappy or rambled on too much. After all it has been a long day full of emotions. But please do know that everyone here at the hospital today was truly blessed by everyone else cheering us on. Praise be to God.

Sitting up

2012-02-22T12:13:00.000-05:00

Jeremy made it out of bed and is sitting up!
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Sent from my Android phone with K-9 Mail. Please excuse my brevity.

Update: Kidney Cutie Success

2012-02-21T16:22:00.001-05:00

Jeremy is in his own room!!!! And Ashley is in the recovery room!!!!!

Jeremy is doing great. He is talking, asking questions (1st Q - how is Ashely. 2nd Q - what time is it!) and responsive. He is mostly just tired. He is snoring away as I type. He is doing ok with the pain - said it is about a 6.

Everyone is super helpful and nice. We are glad to be able to sit with him in our own space.

Ashley did great. She is OUT of Surgery!!!! Ashley's mom and dad were just able to go back and see her. She is coherent and smiling! The nurses want her to have a little more time before visitors and then they will move her to her own room.

We are blessed beyond words. Both families are filled with joy. Even now, I have tears of happiness. This has been an amazing DAY and EXPERIENCE. I have not fully processed the magnitude of all the events yet... but I do know I am so proud to have a husband who sacrificed himself for our dear friend. And furthermore, I am blown away for the out pouring of love from so many people - Ashley's family has gone above and beyond to fill every need, make us feel comfortable and let us know how much they appreciate us. The entire community in NC and Kidney Cutie have embraced us and poured out their support. There has been so many people we don't even know that have touched our lives. And our friends, oh our friends have been tremendous prayer warriors and supports. And really there is no way Jeremy and I could have made it through this day without our family. Thank you for going through this with us - I just wish and hope and pray that our experience has somehow touched your life, because you all have forever changed ours!

Update: SUCCESS

2012-02-21T11:56:00.001-05:00

Jeremy's surgeon came in around 11:45 to tell us the surgery was a SUCCESS!

Jeremy did great through the whole surgery. Everything went perfectly and according to plan. His kidney looked great and has already been put into Ashley.

He is being moved to the recovery room right now. We will be able to see him in an hour and a half.

We are still waiting to hear the outcome of Ashley's surgery.

ALL PRAISE BE TO GOD!!!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your prayers

{more posts to come throughout the day}

Update: 11:00am

2012-02-21T10:56:00.001-05:00

We got an update a little before 10am . Jeremy's in hospital kidney coordinator, Erin, came in and talked with us. She will be our go to person for as long as Jeremy is in the hospital. She gave us the run down of the rest of the day and started the process of getting all the medications he needs.

The coordinator also gave us an update that the surgery is going really well. They work on the dissection (working to remove the kidney) before they move forward with Ashley. Erin said that is was moving really fast - which is a great sign.

Then around 10am, they allowed me to go back and see Ashley. At first I did not think I would be allowed, so I was so happy to see her. We gave each other the biggest hug {and shared some tears}. She was looking really good and ready for the surgery. It really was so great for me to see Ashley - just what I needed. This day has so much involved for me. I am concerned for my husband and anxious to know he is safe. But I am also overly joyed that my best friend is going to be healthy again.

I keep taking refuge in the Lord - I know he is protecting both Ashley and Jeremy during surgery.

Make sure to scroll down and read the other posts from today (4 I think). I will keep posting through out the surgery and day.... so check in again.

oh and we would love to hear comments of those who are praying for us... it is such an encouragement to us all.

Update: 8am

2012-02-21T08:41:00.000-05:00

We arrived at the hospital just before 6am this morning. Both my family and Jeremy's family arrived bright and early with us.
We checked in at 6am and almost immediately they took Jeremy and me in the back. We were taken back into the surgery prep area. Basically it is a large U shaped room with mini rooms/stations for people to be prepared for surgery. While we were in there, the entire room was filled with people. By the time I left, there was no one else left.
During the hour and a half prep for surgery we were visited by a variety of Doctors. We met with the surgeon, an English man, and found out the scar will be about 4 inches in his center abdomen. We also met with the surgeon assitant who made sure it was not too late to change our mind and cancel the surgery. The transplant surgeon, nurse, anesthesiologist, 2 residents and a few other people came in. They all asked the same questions and made sure all of our questions were answered.

At 7:30am they allowed me to say a final goodbye and kiss. They wheeled him back and started the surgery.

Jeremy and I were able to spend some time together last night and this morning. We prayed together and really were able to connect before the surgery. We both feel an overwelming peace that we know only God could provide. We both feel confident about the surgery and are prepared for everything to happen.

The surgery will be about 5 hours. They will take Ashley back around 9:30am. We will not get any word or update until about 12:30 or 1pm.

We would really appreciate your continued prayer. We know that only our faith in God will give us the strength to get through today. And we really appreciate having such a strong group of friends and family supporting us.

Reflections before surgery

2012-02-21T08:08:00.000-05:00

By the time this posts, I will be in surgery. My family, Kate and her parents are all sitting in the waiting room.

I am a guy so talking about my feelings isn’t necessarily my best skill, and I’m sure Kate would tell you that I stink at it. Donating an organ is not something you can really ever prepare yourself for. I can’t really think of any other circumstances that really compares that you do on a regular basis that you can say, you know what it will probably be just like that. So it is all new territory. Especially for someone who has spent very little time in the hospital.

It does however give you a new perspective on what people have to go through, and makes you appreciate your health a lot more.

The other thing you never really prepare for in this situation is how hard this is on your family. I guess you kind of get caught up in the fact that you are doing a good thing, and it is stressful on you. But for your family human nature takes over and you just tend to think the worst. Even though there is a less than 1 percent chance I will die, that is immediately what you think of when you think something might go wrong. You don’t consider that they might open me up and decide it is too risky and stop the surgery, or that they take the kidney and it doesn’t take for Ashley. You think one of two things, this will go well, or I won’t make it out of it, not sure how the human mind works that way, but it makes it very difficult.

I guess the reason I am writing this I need my family to know that I didn’t go into this thinking what can I do to make their life’s harder. Also they need to know that I couldn’t have gone through this process without their support, it wouldn’t have been possible. I can only hope that this process while difficult can help to bring our family closer together (not that it wasn’t close before) but to give us a perspective of how important we are to each other (this also wasn’t anything I thought about when deciding to do this, but the day before it seems a lesson I have begun to learn).

I want to take this Blog to thank my Mom and Dad for always being supportive in whatever crazy decisions I have made throughout my life, and I know there has been more than the average kids share. I am thankful for how they raised me, and the man they have helped me become. There are so many memories that it just doesn’t seem like this is the forum to go through them all so I won’t but I just wanted to say thank you. I am also thankful for my brother and the support he has given me through this, and for me having a little brother has always made me strive to be a better example for him (even though I have failed a lot) and made me realize there are a lot of times when he can be the example I need to follow.

I also want to thank the Merrell family for all their support I know you hear a lot of jokes about in-laws but I feel pretty lucky about mine.

Last but not Least thanks to all of our friends and all the prayers and support you have thrown our way, they have been felt, and God has answered so many prayers that I can’t even begin to explain or tell you about. There is no way I could have gotten through this without all of you.

For those of you that I don’t know but have been following the blog and all of Ashley’s friends I look forward to meeting you, hopefully we will have a meet and greet after the surgery, and I just hope that in some way this story has meant something to you, I know it is about so much more than Ashley and me and Kate. It is such a big story, and is very humbling to be a part of it.

Remember to keep track of the blog Kate will be updating the details.

Ready for surgery.

2012-02-21T07:07:00.000-05:00

It's 7am and about 30 minutes untill it all starts.
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Sent from my Android phone with K-9 Mail. Please excuse my brevity.

Surgery time

2012-02-21T05:27:00.001-05:00

We are off for surgery bright and early. There is a really pretty frost on the ground this morning. Please be in prayer for everyone in the waiting room. They have the hard part today.

Snow

2012-02-20T09:33:00.000-05:00

Kate and I had really hoped we would get to see some snow when we came up for the surgery, and for those of you who have been following the blog you know I wanted to go skiing (didn’t happen, too dangerous). Considering I went golfing yesterday in 65 degree weather it seemed a long shot that we would get any, but when we were at the course some of the people where talking about a big temperature drop the next day. They said it might not snow in here but a little north.

It turned out that Kate and I were scheduled to go 6 miles into Virginia the next day for an engagement party of a friend who lives in Florida but is from Virginia and happens to be there this week. When we left Ashley at the hospital last night her last request was that we don’t’ get stuck there. I thought to myself now that is stupid why would we get stuck there (that’s right I’m from Florida and have no respect for snow). They moved the party from 3 to 2 so people would be able to get home earlier. We had planned on showing up at 2 anyway so this was fine for us.

The whole ride there it was raining, and visibility was bad, and around 2:45 it started to snow. Kate and I were the only ones excited we went outside and took pictures and well we were just like a couple of kids. It must be how we feel when people see the beach in Florida and get excited, or Disney World. But we loved it, a couple of people left at about 3:15 or so to beat the snow, and I was thinking to myself what’s the big deal, and they assured me we would be fine because we were going south.

So when we finally left at 4:15 there was about 2 inches of snow on our car.

At first we were still in the wow snow phase of our adventure until we realized that what was a 2 hour drive on the way up was about to become considerably longer and much more dangerous on the way back. At least we didn’t have to travel on very many 2 lane roads but what were 4 lane 65 mile hour roads became 2 lane 25 mile hour roads very quickly with a line of cars, and several cars off to the side of the road where they had slid (we must have seen 20 cars on the side of the road and 1 on its side).

Long story short we made it back and hour later than expected to dinner with my family. Had a great time at the very nice engagement party and if we had left any later we might not have made it back last night (at least that is what they said when we called to let them know we made it back).

One other note from the day, if you are ever in Chapel Hill there is a dairy farm 15 minutes away called Maple View Dairy Farm, they have the best chocolate milk, and amazing ice cream, try the cookies and cream, or cookie dough and it is worth the trip. I love this place.

I wish I could finish the blog there but there is one more story, after dinner we had to take my dad to the veteran’s hospital (he is fine now) but when we went out of the hotel room to leave once again it was snowing. We Floridians really aren’t very good at driving in snow even though we like to see it, so it took probably a half hour for a 15 minute drive. We were there for about an hour and a half and they took care of everything and it was really a blessing it happened when it did, and not later in the week, and something he thought he was going to have to have surgery on looks like it cleared itself out, so we are very thankful for that. He told me I didn’t have to go, but I figured they were going to be spending a lot of time in the hospital for me so it was the least I could do.

Well I don’t know about you but I have a full day of surgery prep which should be exciting. So next I guess we will see you on the other side of the surgery.

Snowing in virginia

2012-02-19T15:28:00.001-05:00

Birthday #37

2012-02-19T08:00:00.000-05:00

Today was b-day number 37. It feels like this should be more exciting since my college baseball number was 37, and I use the number 37 for all my email addresses. But it is just another birthday and now I am 8 years older than Kate for another 3 months so she will just make fun of how old I am.

It was a very good birthday though, I am really bad at receiving presents but Kate did an amazing job this year. She called John’s Roast Pork, which is the best cheese steak place in Philadelphia hands down (I don’t care what you say Geno’s and Pat’s fans, it’s not even close). It is this small mom and pop shop that is only open on weekdays and they close when they run out of meat or bread (this usually happens by 2pm). Did I mention that the roast pork sandwich is probably better than the cheese steak.

Kate contacted them to see if they would send the Steaks down to North Carolina because she wouldn’t let me drive up to Philly after the surgery. They told her they had never done it before, but somehow she talked them into it and we were the first ever to receive frozen steaks and roast pork sandwiches from Johns Roast Pork. Thank you so much Bethany and Brittany, and thank you Kate it was a great Birthday present and something I had been wanting for a long time.

Today I also went golfing at Hyland Hills in southern pines North Carolina which is fairly close to Pinehurst. Ashley’s friend Lee took me golfing there, he set up the tee time, I asked for a place that was hilly since I only play in Florida (the flatland). I was not disappointed it was a very nice course and had lots of elevation changes. The course was incredibly full, we were backed up at least 3 groups on a tee 3 times and the round took over 5 hours.

I had never met Lee before today so was not sure what to expect but he was a very nice guy and we had a very good round of golf. We also paired up with Curtis and Bill, Curtis was a Green Beret at Fort Bragg and Bill was his father in law. Bill was in town visiting as they were expecting their first child in the next nine months (I don’t remember the timing).

We paired up with them on the 3^rd hole while waiting to tee off. I was wondering how long it would take for the Kidney donation to come up. It seriously wasn’t more than 5 minutes, maybe the 3^rd or 4^th question they asked was how do you two know each other, and at that point there was no avoiding it, we know each other because I am donated a kidney to Ashley. They were very nice about it and complimentary, for some reason it seemed surprising for someone who is sacrificing their life for their country to be surprised about someone donating a kidney.

It has been a great birthday, I didn’t know what to think my birthday would look like being so close to the surgery, but it really has been a good time. Tomorrow we head to Virginia and I hear there is a possibility of snow so I am really excited about that.