Blind Spot

Boondein

2016-07-21T21:29:00.002+05:30

रात के उजालों से खेल रहीं ये बूँदें
छन से बिखेर रहीं खूबसूरती ये बूँदें
तारों से लिपटीं ये बूँदें
दीवारों में समातीं ये बूँदें
तपती ज़मीं को चूमकर आज़ाद करती ये बूँदें
रस्तों को अपने सागर में समेटकर बहती ये बूँदें
पत्तों को नहलाकर तारो ताज़ा करती ये बूँदें ...

ओह! आज इस कायनात में खो जाएंगे हम
ये संगीत, ये खुशबु, इन नज़ारों पे निसार हो जाएंगे हम !
इन बूंदों ने किया हमें दीवाना इस कदर
की कुदरत के ही हवाले होने चल दिए हम !

Pehli Baarish !

2016-07-21T21:08:00.001+05:30

आसमाँ ने किया आज

आशिकी का आगाज़। ....

मोती बरसाकर दिखाया

प्यार का ये अंदाज़ ...

हम झूम गए

इन बरसातों में

खो गए इस कदर

पहली बारिश की बूंदों में ...

के सुर छिड़ गए

ख़ुशी के बहारों की

आँखों से दिल में उतरा

कुदरत का ये साज़

आसमाँ ने किया आज

आशिकी का ये अनोखा आगाज़ ...

Just Breathe

2016-01-31T23:05:00.000+05:30

Hidden feelings
Fighting emotions
War in mind
Calm Exterior...

Love ebbing away
Blood freezing
Pale skin
Red eyes...

No warmth
No shoulder
Sinking spirits
Cold souls...

Life in disarray
Dreams - clouds of illusions

Fists balled up
Drawing at Invisible Hope
Heart crumbling inside
Wanting it's blood curdling scream to be heard...

But no-one hears
Nothing else to be done
But to breathe
Just close your eyes and breathe ...

Dreams

2015-12-13T22:39:00.001+05:30

She was a bird,
A bird with a broken wing
A bird that wanted to fly high ... soar in the sky
But her wings were mangled by many of her life's twists and turns
The bird just needed a tender care
To get better and be able to make the flight that she yearned for
'Cause without that flight she was a meaningless being
So caging her, with careful practicality that too, wouldn't have helped...
It was encouragement and a healing touch needed instead
To let her do her 'thing', live up to herself, ..and fly high....

With her flight and with her lover
She would have been complete
And a woman who feels complete
Is a lover beyond compare ...
Often you have to give a lot before getting in return
But when a woman who feels complete returns to you
She loves you like you never would believe ....

But without either one....she was a disaster waiting to happen
She chose her lover, but lost her soul
She chose her soul, but lost her lover...

The incompleteness itself holds her now
Engulfs her, as she holds on,
Flapping her wings,
Trying not to drown...

Music

2015-01-15T13:38:00.001+05:30

It's magic
It is the Beauty in each of us..
It's the force that quells all fear
The elegant wave that washes away all tears

Music makes me soar in the sky
And fly like a bird
Wings outstretched
Free and full of hope

The peaks and troughs
Of the songs
Make my emotions flow in tandem
As if lost in an intimate dance...
My heartbeat plays along
As does my body...
And before i know it
I find myself engulfed by the magic
That only music brings to life...

Music is the source of strength, that lifts our spirits
It gives us the rhythms that bind us together
The notes that touch out hearts....
The world is empty without music
Life is sans inspiration sans music...

Scorched

2015-01-15T12:59:00.002+05:30

Crazy lust
feelings barely veiled
Soaring temperatures

Swaying sensuality
Unbridled attraction
Undying affection
Electrifying proximity

Bodies in full attention
Painfully aware
Oh... that sweet pain
Blood rushing inside
Heartbeats barely discreet

Minds numb
All reason dumped
All resolves left behind

Souls in limbo
In a vacuum world of their own
...a bubble with elastic seams

They look into each other's eyes... Or souls, as they say
For a fraction of a second, reason is understood
In entirety of the game the universe played in bringing them together like this

And then
They close their eyes
And kiss...

Suffers in Silence

2015-01-15T12:44:00.002+05:30

She suffers in silence.
She was the one,
That soared in the sky,
The one that sang from her heart.

She was the one,
Who had the spirit to do what none would do,
The courage to do what none could imagine,

But time flew by,
People came to her life,
Caught on by that free unassuming spirit of hers,
But despising that very spirit when it came in their way...
Those people changed her heart,
Muzzled that spirit,
And left her soul mutilated,

Her open wounds now hurt,
With every new touch

She suffers in silence,
In those moments of weakness,
Trying hard not to let the feeling of being trapped alone,
Encapsulate her again.

She picks herself up,
Somehow holding on,
To the broken shards of her looking Glass,
... or are they prices of her own soul she looks at...
She finds solace in all that she still believes in.

In her moments of strength,
That she can make it through,
That she will do what she is meant to do.

As she walks out of one the doors,
Into a new room,
The old walls laugh at her,
Mirth fills the room,
But she walks out,
Bracing herself,
For the uncharted unfamiliar ground,
She is about to hit,
Yet again ...

Fear of the Unknown

2015-01-15T12:33:00.000+05:30

Nameless, almost faceless people,
All around me,
Some driving,
Some cleaning,
Some guarding,
Helping me get through my everyday,
But still revelling in their anonymity...

But they are real people,
Whose families love them,
Families they go back to,
After working hard,
And working hard with their
Un-crushable survival instinct....

Sometimes i want to connect with them,
But fear holds me back,
For to me, and those who care about me,
They are nameless, faceless people,
Unknown people,
To be afraid of,

Always....

Winds Furore

2014-08-17T00:45:00.005+05:30

Breaking window panes,
Smashing doors,
Swishing tree bracnches,
Some even breaking away from their core....

The madness of the winds was telling a quaint story...
As the winds were slapping my face,
All accusatory,
As if, for some ills I had perpetrated...

What ills could I, The Humanity, possibly perpetrate,
I wonder.
But the Furore was ominous....
As if warning of a greater calamity...
A sure calamity,
Unless I completely surrender...

As i sit here,
Shuddering with a mix of fear and rancour ...
I pray for a long lived calm
After the Winds' Furore...

Little do i know,
That my own actions have dragged me to this.
...Or do i know but turn a blind eye?
For it is simply easier this way,
To live by my day ...

Welcoming Winter

2013-11-23T02:04:00.001+05:30

Little wild flowers,
Blooming into graceful gifts of Nature.
Cool winds blowing across the expanse,
Whistling, as they come to greet me through my window.

The flowers swaying in merriment,
Welcoming the new season.
Sometimes hiding into the big leaves of the wild plant,
As the winds gather strength.

Its a beautiful sight in this black expanse
Of this cool night of the new winter trance ....

While looking outside the window pane …

2013-06-20T01:02:00.002+05:30

This dumb brain,
Moves in circles,
Strong centrifugal force in vain!
Sends so much energy down the drain!
From wasting thoughts it must refrain!
After all what’s the gain?

Tell me,
Any point having feet in many trains?
Thinking too much is the bane.
Like playing around with a lion's mane...
You know you are gonna get slain,
But you still do it,
As if it were a daring game!

Huh! I say! It's brain drain!...
...makes the brightness wane
From your face again,
While your brows make the 'furrow' lane,
And no longer can the stress contain!

Centillion thoughts churn and turn,
Like little children in utter pain.
The pain's never in sight plain,
But it kills slowly, though Gandhiism (:-o) it would feign!

Utter nonsense clogs the brain,
And proliferates! (:-/), as if it was never alien!
Really!! If over-thinking had a smell,
It would fill you with disdain!
...
Ohh godd noo!! Now look how the thoughts have reached a new plane!
Disgusting! Uhh! Totally un-tamed!
As if waiting to actually make me FEEL the disdain!
Uaackk! "go away right from where you came!
And never crowd my brain again!
For no one needs you and you are just a pain!"

Enough time wasted on extra thoughts yet again…
Well, guess i'll get back to looking outside the rainy window pane ...!

;)

-------------------------------------------------------

An attempt based on the pattern of an earlier composition "Do I Love, or is it Lusty Amor?". Do check that one out too. :P

Thinking Aloud ...

2013-06-18T22:03:00.000+05:30

Life isn’t confusing

It just manifests

Our insecurities and our dreams at the same time…

From time to time

It weaves together our experiences

And shows new shadows and highlights

On the person in the mirror….

Life isn't an exam

It is just a road

Which never comes with a map
Sometimes we consciously choose paths

Yet sometimes it just passes us by

And sometimes it reminds us to stop and look

At the nuances that play
and weave in an out of our lives

There is meaning in everything about our lives

We only need to decode and see

How we grew with Every step

Every dilemma

Every decision

Every experience...

'cause we'll keep growing

And

While life will seem to agitate us! haunt us!

Even blindfold and irritate us!

The beacons on new paths will shine

Glowing against the contours of our face

That's when we need to look through the confusion

& Catch the glimmer

& Decide to move towards one

For we constantly need to choose our paths

and keep moving on

And keep growing...

First Time -- Forever

2013-04-20T21:55:00.000+05:30

Flying Butterflies in the stomach,
Feeling weightless,
Heart beating faster than usual,
Hands clammy and body ... tense...

The nervousness of the 'first time',
Anticipation of The first meeting,
The first touch,
The first look,
Moments full of awkwardness,
Punctuated with barely hidden smiles...

....Mind racing through myriad possibilities,
Of how the evening would turn out...

...Heartbeats never slowing...

---

Our 'first time' unfolded,
Into something worth a lifetime,
But what is more beautiful,
Is that Everytime

Still feels like our first time.

Today we're meeting again,
and i can't help smiling,
At the mere thought of him,
And at the same time,
I find myself taking deep breaths,
To calm my racing heart....,

It's overwhelming sometimes,
When i see his face,
And wonder at how he still makes me feel the same.
Today i'm gonna see him again,
And though i just saw him two days back,
I know today will again be special in itself....

'Something' to write

2013-04-20T18:37:00.000+05:30

I cannot write

It has been months,
and i have not written.
Poem, prose, or essay,
Nothing seems to set in.

It feels like i have lost it,
Lost the rhythms that used to just ... flow.
No matter how much i want to,
The words just don't flow...
But there are these ... moments,
When the poet in me rises,
Stirred from its sleep,
By Inspiration in different guises.
But then something overpowers
The urge to write,
As if overdosing it,
With Laxative of full might!

So here i am,
Finally facing YOU upfront, 'Something' !
And here is my open challenge ...
I WILL write on themes galore,
Even if it takes me Lot more time than before!

Lemme see how much you can hold me back,
How long you can stem the flow of my thoughts ...

Let me now see you face to face,
And savor my WIN over you,
'Cause i know i WILL win,
And i know Inspiration never dies ...

One life, One dream, One dreamer ...

2012-12-23T12:10:00.000+05:30

I feel for him,
The man who killed me,
For he never realized,
He killed the one he wanted to be…

Blood speaks of the moment gone wrong,
Shouting the foul play out to me,
I pity him 'cause I know he was fooled,
Into killing me if he wanted to be free...

But a murder leaves a splatter of red,
On the killer and his victim alike.
The trail haunts my killer now,
For he suffers now in my memory.

I was the one, who lived inside him,
The one who kept his dreams in myself fondly,
But I was the one none else wanted,
And so he killed me....he killed the one he wanted to be...

-----------------------------------------------------------------
To those who gave up their dream because others didn't approve of it.

Possessiveness ....

2012-03-03T12:59:00.034+05:30

Silver lights flashing around
Shimmering clothes catching your eyes
Bodies swaying with the music
This night is high
We are high
Now baby, look at me
Look into my eyes now,
Hold me, draw me close baby
Its my smile you love
My smell that you are high on
Oh baby, you are so Mine, just mine...!!!
No one can claim you, No one can take you from me
....
I know you in and out ...
I am the air you breathe, the ground your feet walk on

There's no place you can go
By escaping me
'Cause I am your life...

Everyone must know,That you belong to me,
And trying to snatch you from me,
Isn't the best idea,
'Cause possessiveness can be really deadly......

You are Mine just mine.....And the whole universe must know it,

'Cause Baby, I'm possessive about you
And there's no escaping easily...... !

----------

Silver lights, dazzling, blinding...
The rhythm overwhelming...

I'm here in your arms now baby,

And there's no one else around,

Lets dance like we never will

Like this baby, in each others arms.....

---------

Sting of an abstract entaglement

2011-08-17T23:59:00.004+05:30

What happens when you fight within,
When you have to tell yourself,
In spite of everything, you can still be happy...?

What happens when you compromise,
And feel the pinch of it for the first time,
And tell yourself, it'll be all fine....?

What do you do when you don’t know what’s in store,
And you are so scared,
Things will go wrong.....?

What do you hold on to when you cringe,

At the thought of going against your wishes,

But do it anyway, for someone or something.....?

How is it when your beliefs are questioned,
When you least want it, least expect it,
And you feel shaken by the sea of thoughts sparked on inside....?

What’s it like to feel just-not-understood,
By someone you thought will always understand you,
And be left to ponder why....?

How does it feel when you are told you overreact,
To something you felt really strongly about,
And you don’t know how to explain how it feels...?

What happens when you try to find fault in yourself,
Because you don't understand the “why's” of things that happen,
And yet cannot make sense of the puzzle?

How do you take it when you think you don’t know,

Whether YOU understood other people in your life,

And having these doubts kills you inside, because you know you always tried........?

This haze clouds you,
Making you feel distant and disconnected,
You try to be fine, but something comes in between,
And you feel.... So perturbed....
You know you try, but it doesn’t seem to work,
You know you give your best, but it still, somehow, is just not enough,
You spend too much time thinking, reflecting, trying to settle inside,
Although in vain.....

What happens then? ......

The Pathway

2011-05-27T23:10:00.020+05:30

Walking down,
Sound of shoes loud against the ground,
In-spite of the noisy street.

Skepticism – fear – stares – crowd ...

Fists clenched, eyes roving from left to right ...

It wasn’t an alien place; sharp featured faces, human smell, busy market ...
And yet, yet the fear, seated deep inside.

Beggars on the floor, people brushing past.
Shops on both sides, people buying fast.

And then, as we went up the stairs, fear spilled out,
-- just one random push, a shout, and a loud swear ...

...
.....
.......
....................
.................................................

Scare, fear; harbinger of human fight, of omnipresent tension,
The scared, the afraid, fight ... only they fight.
And there, then, i saw it for myself...

MY fear broke out in tears,
Burst out,
...OUT of years of being told about the coexisting religions,
And the fight within that very coexistence,
Ironically fuelling each other- the fight and the coexistence.
Fear that is bred since childhood,
With indifference and no real knowledge of the ‘people’,
Ironically, the religion becoming more important than those ‘people’...

A fight goes on in my mind, to date;
Are they, pathways to peace, or pathways of fear ...

---

This was written just after my visit to a famous mosque, after dark one evening. I was reluctant to go, for the fear was surfacing at the mere mention of the name of the place. But we (my family and me) eventually did go. These were words i hurriedly wrote a few moments after the pathway to the mosque had ended to give way to the leading stairs. What happened in those moments, is history. But the fight, as always, remains.....

In Sudden Spontaneity...

2011-05-24T14:21:00.007+05:30

I wonder sometimes what it is that binds me to you,

Wonder why you look like pure kashmiri hashish for my soul,

Or why all the oxygen seems to be concentrated around you...

I wonder sometimes why your thought makes me smile so much,

Is it that i am shy or is it that you are a new 'smile' infection...

I wonder How just how I got so lucky that I got you,

Was it really luck... or was it just meant to be, me and you....

.....I wonder, I always will, and will never grow tired of it it seems !

Samya's Sequel

2011-03-15T21:24:00.009+05:30

A poet on the internet had posted a poem titled 'Dreamworld'. i read it and was tempted to write out a sequel...... so here goes :)

Dreamworld

The place of Nimrodel was so fair to the senses.
They had beautiful garden-stone-houses
Full of hot-water-pools, majestic orchards and
Glass balconies.

And roamed there, the angelic people fair,
Who were so fair to the eye as their music is to the ear.

And they could get anything they wished.

When a human arrived on the forest-heaven of Nimrodel
He enjoyed the comforts
Yet he could not stay at peace
For his mind roamed for Her.

Yes, She, She, She, you know who I’m talking about.

She in his eyes,
She in his breath
Her voice in his ears
Her smell on his skin.
And Her memory on his tears.

And no one had reached Nimrodel—cross’d the long oceans that separate us and them.

Yet She was not in Nimrodel.

-samya

-----------------------------------------
The Sequel

Alas! she hadnt traveled to Nimrodel

And now the oceans separated her n him..

A matter of days,

And he found darkness all over him.

A gaping dark hole in his soul,

Even in that land so angelic, so fair

He longed for her,

Not the hot water pools!

His skin burning to feel her,

His eyes longing to see her,

He felt as if he was in a land of fools!

Her music, which once filled his ears

Was fading...

His senses slowly weakening,

In-spite of the wonder music, over which one could drool..

...

HE was all alone,
Even in this heavenly land,
For he left his heart, his priceless treasure,
Beyond the seas, where she now lay, lifeless, in the sand....

One...

2010-10-06T20:15:00.010+05:30

I am high . . .

We hadn't thought of this moment,

our bodies intertwined

our expressions deep in some reverie...

our breaths, like warm feathers on each other's bodies...

We move, in unison,

Our hearts beat in unison,

We hadn't thought,

Of this sacred moment...

There is nothing more important than you,

Nothing more precious than your embrace,

This wonderful music melts into my ears,

As we let all of ourselves,

Pour into this one moment...

I cannot think, my mind has stopped...

But I'm afraid I might skip a beat,

And lose even the millionth second

Of holding you in my thoughts...

You hold me so gently,

As if I were a delicate flower,

And yet, our lips burn with desire,

Our bodies seem to be on fire...

I cannot explain this feeling of oneness,

In words that have so many limitations...

How could you be so perfect,

That i simply forget all inhibitions...

I have a blessing wrapped in my arms,

I could let go, but I know you wouldn't...

Tonight,

I am high...on you ....

Addicted....

2010-09-10T10:25:00.007+05:30

dont die... not as yet.. stay, just some more time.... some more time with me... let me savor the aroma... which you leave behind, even when you are gone...

just stay.. some more time.. you beautiful miracle of nature...

Hard

2010-08-17T15:04:00.006+05:30

How hard can it be to be hard?
to break off from those strings
and fly away, alebit alone....

How hard can it be to laugh away frivolously?
when all you want to do is to say those three words,
and give a tight hug, albeit while breaking a bone...

How hard can it be to be detached?
from one, who bound himself around you once,
and protected you from being "hurt prone" ...

How hard can it get to stem the emotions,
and let frivoltiy take their place,
all so that you protect yourself from ever feeling forlorn....

Let me measure now, Just HOW hard can it be.......to....

------------An Un-poetic Saga of Life-------------

2010-07-19T14:05:00.021+05:30

Riding down memory lane,

-the thrilling roller coaster ride!

Fighting to stay aboard,

Yet secure in my heart, i'd never fall...

I find all my life's 'moments' strewn around,

On those unbeleivably beautiful lanes...

I play with those zillion moments of joy,

And the sad ones that peep at every turn...

With all the dead leaves i pick up,

with all the thorns that pierce my skin,

The pain becomes sweet with learning,

And i realize how pain and joy were so akin...

With all the fragrant flowers i touch,

and all the shining rays i embrace,

The ecstacy multiplies,

And shines over this beautiful life i'm bestowed with,

with God's grace. . .

........

And so, i ride on ...

Happily, on my unending memory lane...

Till ...

The dream ends.

I wake up feeling new and fresh,

Like a new life is in front of me,

In which 'smiles'

are the only residents....

Out of Sight Out of Mind...

2010-07-16T12:38:00.008+05:30

I have been thinking,
For quite a while now,
How strong you were,
How stronger you may have grown now...

You met like a lil quirk of fate,
And we talked on, since then.
I wonder if you ever saw the tumultous wave coming,
That showed no pity for our friendship even...

Yes, you did. Now i realize...
You knew ALL that was imminent.
But, you were strong, now i know,
For you never let the doubts make a dent....

You kept me happy with you,
As long as you could,
But then it wasnt meant to be...
And so the wave finally came and pushed us apart
and just fell short of swallowing up and killing me.....

Now, those lil imprints our relation left on me,
The music, the food and everything in between,
Sometimes come by to say 'Hi' to me..
and i smile in utter happiness of the good times that used to be....

I could be 'myself' with you my friend,
and thats what drew me to you.
But i guess it was too less for you, and not good enough,
For i can see you now want nothing between us to remain due.....

I loved you, i cared for you, you were my best friend.
U grew on me, and are still there..
But "out of sight, out of mind" works for you
and im happy im not there to interfere....