mingusandthebitch

3 YEARS

2011-11-19T15:18:00.000-08:00

Dear Mingus,

Yesterday was the third anniversary of your going in the elevator without me FOREVER. You'd think by now I would have stopped missing you but the truth is that there really is no replacement for quirky, loving, devoted YOU. I was thinking the other morning while looking at the portrait of you that Tom Miller painted that even in that portrait there is a "Mingus-energy" which is so reassuring ... he captured in your face the way you ALWAYS had my back as they say.

This picture is of my little friend, Ms. Rosie. (Yes, I know, she's sleeping in your bed.) You'd like her, she has telepathy beat ;-). I haven't seen her walk through walls like the Benson-poodle, but I'm sure she could if she wanted to.

So, while I know there will never be another Mingus, I'm thinking that perhaps after the 4th anniversary of your death I'll adopt a pooch who we can try to encourage to fill the big fat void you left when you took that elevator. Would that be okay?

Love and kisses,
the bitch

Blogless Mingus

2011-02-15T21:40:00.000-08:00

Dear Mingus,

How would you feel about being a blogless dead pooch? The Bitch is sort of "done" with this format for remembering you, and I'm pretty sure I've posted every good picture of you I have. Don't worry though; I haven't replaced you. That would be IMPOSSIBLE as you were truly a one of a kind. I still have all the dog art up and I wake up to your portrait every morning cause I've hung Tom Miller's painting of you on the wall at the foot of my bed, so I think of you every single day. I think there are too many blogs out there now. It's time for something more original. Let's let the blog go gently into the good night. You'll still always be famous to me ;-).

Love you still, always will.

kisses,
The Bitch

Auntie Deen Is There

2010-11-14T11:39:00.000-08:00

Mingus you lucky boy, Auntie Deen is in your zone now. She's probably out for a walk with Alfie, maybe you could surprise them on the trail ;-). She died while I was in Paris celebrating my birthday. I wrote this haiku for her:

Deen's Winter

My birthday, Deen dies
her betraying body still
blooming with kindness

kisses,
the bitch

copyright Christine Saulnier 2010

Gus and Ben at Spanish Banks Dog Beach

2010-07-11T22:53:00.000-07:00

Hey Mingus and Chase,

Look! With a sling and crutches and lots of time I troddled Gus and Ben to the dog beach and thankfully didn't have to carry their fat butts back to the car. They remind me of you guys in your dotage. I still miss you pups!

kisses,
the bitch

Earth Day ;-)

2010-04-22T10:04:00.001-07:00

Dear Mingus,

That's an image of planet Earth, where you once lived with me (if we can believe in "reality" that is, sheesh, we don't even know where memory or dreams are physically located in the brain of humans, which makes me think that memory and dreams probably reside somewhere outside of humans so they have a better chance of thriving and surviving). How's Chase? How's swimming? Wish you were still on Earth with me but not if you were in pain. Miss you, love you.

The Bitch

Some People's Guilt Is So Overwhelmingly Well-Earned

2010-03-30T12:05:00.000-07:00

Hey Mingie-pingie-pooperama,

Is there "guilt" where you are, or just "gilt"?

Have you noticed how some people's overwhelming guilt is just SO WELL-EARNED!

Miss you loviebug. Hope the grass is greener there.

kisses,
the bitch

Mingie, You've Been Dead a Whole Year

2009-11-17T20:24:00.001-08:00

Mingus my love,
You've been gone for a full year as of tomorrow. Poopie. It's okay though because since there could never be another Mingus, I've just been coasting along with the company of other pooches who aren't TOTAL ALL-IN LOVE like you were ... sort of like the arrangement with men ;-). There are far more dogs than men amusing me at the moment.

What's going on where you are????

love and love and love and kisses,
the bitch

2009-10-12T17:22:00.000-07:00

Dear Mingus and Chase,

It wasn't a totally dog-less Thanksgiving.

Aunty B and Uncle R invited me to Salt Spring even though I don't have you sweet darlins to bring along anymore. They don't have your yellow-coated cousins anymore either. They have Ms. Daisy. She's a little porkpie Blue Heeler/Corgy sweetheart who rolls over on command. You'd love her to bits.

Anyway, now that I'm a dogless bitch I can fly harbour to harbour 'cause I don't have you and all your stuff to schlep along with me in the car. See how beautiful this place is from the air.

Love you poochies,
the bitch

You're Buddy, Enzo, Is Incoming

2009-09-25T21:44:00.001-07:00

Sweet Mingus and Chase, This is a picture of you lying on Enzo and Ferd's blanket when they stayed with us several years ago. Enzo has left Earth now and is incoming to your environment. Could you go meet his elevator? Don't bug him about his childhood Christmas sweater on that cold day when he was just a pup and visited us for the first time. We've all had terrible fashion faux paws in our day. Remember your hula skirt Mingie? You take him into your pack now and love him as you always did. You guys know the way around there now and I know you'll be your usual hospitable selves. Yeah, yeah, you can take him to "the baths".... sheesh! Help him send Jode and Ferd suitable postcards from the beyond so they know he's okay, and send love to us still here cause it is hard without you sometimes..... love you...

the bitch

Banff Without Mingus

2009-09-24T10:25:00.001-07:00

Dear Mingus, Banff is still rugged and astonishingly beautiful but I've got to say that the JOY of being there with you was lacking. I still smile thinking of our first cross country skiing expedition together ;-).

kisses,
the bitch

Six Months of Grieving and Accepting

2009-05-18T21:19:00.001-07:00

GORGEOUS MINGUS,

Today marks six months since you left for Death .... I feel a little deserted but accepting too... you put up a good face on your pain so you could stay with me for a long time... thank you Sweetness.... there will never be another Mingus...

love you,
me

Love Maintains Love--It Wasn't a Trick Question

2009-04-16T20:06:00.001-07:00

"What Makes Love Last?"

It isn't a tribunal gorgeous relatives of Mingus.

"Love Maintains Love; not Marriage" you know this innately, no wonder you look so confused at such a ridiculous question! Humans in general just don't get it, they follow the rules blindly and don't live from the heart...

Chaselove, Happy 15th Birthday

2009-04-10T23:43:00.001-07:00

Lovely Chase,
Not sure you can celebrate a birthday once you are dead, but not being one for adhering to conventions, I will celebrate what would have been your 15th birthday. I'm remembering you in your sosoftsleeps and your peachy coat, and your snuggling beauty... thank you for sharing your later life with your half-bro, Mingus, and I.... you were one funny pooch, so sophisticated and wise

kisses,
the bitch

Happy 15th Birthday Mingusghost

2009-04-07T22:59:00.000-07:00

Sweet Mingusghost,
It's your birthday! You'd be fifteen in human years if you were still here. Do you want linguine? You had linguine slurping down to a fine art. You really were the most beautiful soul, look at you taking care of Mew, making sure she didn't overcook in front of the fire..
And, not many dogs can sit on a lawn chair at the table like you could .... you never perfected the drinking out of a glass thing though did you? Paws!

Happy Birthday Sweetlove.

Love you so... hope you're happy where you are....

kisses,
the bitch

Concrete and Chasms

2009-04-05T12:29:00.001-07:00

Look Mingie,

They finished the addition to the Convention Center and now there is a square from which to view all the luxury waterfront condos that T.B. needs to sell to pay for the vet bills you left me :-)....

There's a grass roof on the new convention centre but dogs aren't allowed to pee on it... go figure...

It would be your 15th birthday on Wednesday Sweetlove.... I'd like to stop missing you, but I keep falling into the huge chasm of your death and losing my balance ...
kisses,
The Bitch

Time Doesn't Heal... Or Heel

2009-03-17T21:33:00.001-07:00

Sweet Gorgeous Love of My Life Mingus, did you reincarnate immediately? I met an almost 4 month old boy like you at the doggie beach today... I didn't cry.... he was so fabulous.... just like you.... Chelsea was a bit jealous ... it was like wrapping you up in my arms again lovely boy full of joy Mingus...

It turns out that time doesn't heel any better than you did... it's outpacing all of us, and boy is that a crock of shit notion that the passage of time heals ... sure, age and lose your memory maybe, but heal... PHHTTT! People say the most moronic shit!

You sure knew how to knock a gal out with your love baby.... miss you always... think of you always with a big smile on my face and love in my smashed heart.

Chelsea is becoming a bit more Labrador-like-- she retrieves that red warty ball pretty good now....

love,
The Bitch

Mingus Has My Back

2009-02-18T10:41:00.000-08:00

So Gorgeous Minguslove, it's 3 months today since you molecularly transformed and now exist rather macabrely as part of a shrine above our homemade condiments ... it's all rather South American in ethos... a house of spirits.

I wondered if when the soil is a little warmer, in say April--like on your birthday--you'd like me to integrate some of your ashes into the land that gave you so much physical and emotional pleasure?

I had a terroir-enforcing wine experience yesterday which rather poetically brought me back to the intensity, and the necessity, of understanding the geography of our lives and our relationships with the soil that nourishes us. Sounds profound, I know, and in a quiet and intensely private way it was, and now it's public.... bizarre that thing about being a communicator ... I don't control the live feed, it just visits me ... and asks to be transformed into words ... and you know, I decided to start sharing the words more publicly rather than hoarding them and trying to avoid acts of ego.... I've got to say that I'm still VERY UNCOMFORTABLE with this notion .... I don't trust ego ... that's why I always had complete trust in you Sweetness ... your M.O. was love, not ego ...

Kisses,
The Bitch

Step Lightly On My Memory Please

2009-02-12T10:15:00.000-08:00

Sweet Minguslove,

I'm walking lightly in your footsteps my sweets ... so is Chelsea. Sometimes I still catch a glimpse of you at the beach, in the rabbit thatch, on my pillow. Someone poetically, and strategically, scattered pink carnations (a funeral flower but also a Valentine flower) on one of the picnic tables in Jericho Park and there you were, larger than life in my feta cheese crumbly heart.

kisses,
T.B.

p.s. the other pic is Chelsea treading lightly on your garbage adventure trails by the beach xo

New Buddha

2009-01-29T22:20:00.001-08:00

Pupparoos,

Ya know, you were both born in the Year of THE DOG!!! 1994...

New Buddha in the meditation room.... He's greening--make that emeralding-- your space. Look at that electric blue heart!!! Holy! I took a lot of care and time finding him, but I had no idea once I set him up in his/my space he was going to radiate a blue heart a pink levitation cloud and an emerald green aura! So, you boyz can relax a little more and stop worrying about me.... Buddha has me covered.... go play!

kisses,
The Bitch

Ballentyne's Day--Breaking A Tradition

2009-01-23T09:13:00.001-08:00

Sweetlove Mingusboo,

I've taken over your half of the bed now, okay? Can you still eat where you are? Maybe posting a picture of you eating lamb stew is torture.... jeez, you had a beautiful coat, I wish my hair was as shiny as your coat... I know, salmon oil chasers and ooligans.... yum, yum

Auntie Robi is having a Christmas Eve/Valentine's Day Party this year since we all got snowed in on Christmas Eve and didn't get together. I'm not convinced that the saddest day of the year should be combined with Christmas Eve, but maybe now that November 18th is the saddest day of the year it will be okay not to sit home in the dark alone with a bottle of Ballentyne... maybe....

kisses to you my sweets
T.B.

Grieving, Day 60

2009-01-18T10:36:00.001-08:00

Hi Sweetness,

Today is day 60 since you went to wherever you went to (I sincerely hope it isn't a community called "Rainbow Bridge" frankly, because that sounds like a sub-division in Surrey, or maybe near Phoenix, or in Utah, designed and funded by latter-day saints, where the birthrate is better-suited to the 16th century and where you'd probably have to babysit). I hope you went to a nice flat in New York, or Paris, or Buenos Aires with a big organic farm in the countryside too--with some Great Danes--where you spend most of your time, and with Chase too.)

I'm supposed to be over missing you now, and seeing your ghost, that's if I follow the text book versions of the grieving process. Otherwise, I get a diagnosis and PILLS, but not the kind of pills that you can save and overdose on later so I can come looking for you.

I'm sorry you didn't make it to the Obama Innauguration, but glad you were around for his election. The whole thing has become rather operatic since the election .... this following in the steps of Abe Lincoln is adding a solipsistic aura to the presidential role too WHICH I LOVE!--the mind as reality--my kind of escapism. The usual suspects will be here for Inauguration night dinner. I haven't set the menu yet. It will be spicy though. Auntie Robi will miss feeding you. I'll just miss you.

love and kisses,
the bitch

Marley and Me--The Non-Chewable Version

2009-01-11T22:28:00.001-08:00

Dear M.,

I finally got up the courage to see the film version of "Marley and Me". You couldn't have chewed the film version like you chewed up the book version. I agree that the story was a lot thinner than the dog, but sheesh, Grogan is making a fortune on it, no matter what you thought of the book or the film, or how the dog morphed into a totally different-looking dog at each aging.... box office receipts darling, box office receipts..... They could have taken him off the corn diet crappy food that was giving him bloat too, but let's not get started down that road to nowhere.... It all ends in death in any case. Expect a rash of dogs named Marley ....

kisses,
T.B.

Wrong Channel

2009-01-06T14:45:00.000-08:00

Dear Pupperoos,

Very funny! The Englishman's wandering/prankster spirit showed up at the goddess meditation instead of you! What was the bribe? Sirloin?

He snuck [of course] up behind me, tried to choke me with incense smoke, mucked with my very serious concentration and made me laugh and then blew out the candle. Were the two of you waiting on the snow clouds and eating frozen yogurt or what?
Okay, of all the men you might have enabled to play perfect pups you did choose well ... it was very funny ... but do I have to die to have fun with you? Sheesh!

kisses,
me

Snowed

2008-12-22T08:10:00.001-08:00

Gorgeous Mingus,

Is it really impossible for you to come back? Look how much snow there is in our back lane! How come GREAT love gets taken away like this? There really never will be another Mingus, you know.

Love you,
T.B.

p.s. Mel is having a green goddess gathering tomorrow--I'll see if as a group we can channel you back :-))

What's The Word for "Dead" in Dog?

2008-12-20T14:49:00.001-08:00

Sweet Minguslove,

Your [last] girlfriend, Chelsea, is visiting. She got freaked out when I said your name and is sniffing all your blankets and making eye signals at me like I should go fetch you.... (At least she isn't licking the walls like you did after your brother, Chase, died!) Do you think you could come and haunt her and explain where you are to her so she doesn't look at me with BLAME?

Thanks sweetlove... MISS YOU!

Love, T.B.