Boys Will Be Boys !!

The Buzz

2011-05-21T12:15:00.001-07:00

Classrooms suck until you’re sitting on the seat in one of the classes and the Teacher giving in a lecture of How to behave well, though it’s not a Moral teaching period.

The years that you spend sitting on those benches and chairs are the ones you tend to remember even after you turn old but while we are really going through that phase of our, we really have a hard time. Even the One-Twenty Page book seems like a big task to us, though now a five-hundred page book can be skipped through in a night and that’s how the reality is and always will be.

It was the period of Mr.Curtis, don’t take it otherwise, that’s how it was called in schooldays for a class. Mr.Curtis was our new teacher of English Literature, and if you study in an ICSE school, you already know that English is more of a boring class when it comes to Mr. Shakespeare’s novels. I had a personal liking for the Subject and the personality of Mr. Curtis was quite impressive for every student to take the subject seriously.

Mr. Curtis was of no short than Amitabh Bacchan, mature looks that made him look more from the army and a Gentleman persona with a tie, two-piece and the top button of the Shirt closed even in the mid May ,which was quite surprising for guys as the collar button is never closed for the show off prospective. He was quite masculine with authority and class and was soft spoken even to contrast his personality.

He was the third teacher of English literature for us and the only one who moved of ACT I SCENE I “When the mind was tossing on the ocean”, lines from the Merchant of Venice, one of my favorite novels.

We were the Naughtiest class of the whole school, to be described as Hooligans and various adjectives of the Likes by various teachers. As guys we all were just in our Teenages, and we talked of a variety of things ranging from Tumhari Bhabhi to the x’s. Abusing was the Culture of the Class, if you didn’t abuse you were treated like an alien and there was no one who didn’t abuse from Roll no.1 to Roll no. 45 and that included the Girls. Why should boys have all the fun after all?!!

Mr. Curtis has just taken Mr.Bassanio to meet Mr. Sharma and ask of what was Mr. Sharma talking to Mr.Srivastava that they were giggling controlling their laughter. Mr. Curtis was shouting and it was the Hindi version of Pin drop silence Sui Patak Sanatta, in the class presently.

*Bell Rings*

And so does the Silence is Broken by the Classroom again and Mr. Curtis left seeing that it was no use telling us of how to behave in a class.

It was a rough day actually for all of us in the class from Biology’s Homework to Mr. Curtis’ anger.

But during the day I had noticed something that everyone was talking about and I unfortunately didn’t know of until then. It was called ORKUT then, and so is now too. But I didn’t actually know about it as I didn’t have much of a interest in computers as I barely could understand what the hell Java has to do with buffer reader, so I always just managed to pass in computers though things have changed a lot now.

I got home all tired. Do I also need to tell you the routine of what happens after you reach home?

But there was something I was forgetting like always and I eagerly wanted to know, I was thinking of it as I was playing cricket with my friends, the result is known to all I was out for a duck. It always after some shock takes up on you that you tend to realize to remember certain things and then it came to me all of a sudden “ORKUT”.

I ran to my house and gave all sorts of reasons to go to the cyber cafe from the coming up project to see something important that would just be available on the internet, we are always good at making excuses and so was I. I got the amount required just for an hour of surfing through the internet in a cyber café.

The first thing I did as soon as I got my partition in the nearby cyber café was open Internet Explorer and type “www.orkut.com”. The page took some time to open but finally loaded giving me its typical blue theme. Giving me a teaser after I read “You need an Invitation to join in”. Where should I get this invitation now? And what about the rest 55 minutes that a going to do in my partition? Thank God, we had closed cabins then what else do you need for a healthy browsing experience? I knew a few websites then thanks to the classmates, I didn’t get to realize when my time got over.

Next day the classes for me was more of find the Bakra for sending me an Invitation, luckily I am blessed with some good friends and I told one my friend Prakriti about it and to my amazement she was already an Orkut user and promised me to send 1 of the 10 invitations she had.

My problem was solved; I just wanted to know what’s so good about this Orkut that everyone wants to be on it? The only reasons I got for it from my male friends was Good females. I just didn’t buy on this idea. It was like what big deal? I have many female friends and they are all good looking, so what’s the entire buzz about this “Girls” thing?

Some questions are unanswered and you get to realize the answers only when you have to and only when things happen with you.

Incomplete Wishes

2011-05-21T12:14:00.000-07:00

“I wish”…is a unique phrase.

If it’s added to something it gives the same thought a million new dimensions.

I wish I was Fair, I wish I was in IIT, I wish I was the king of this world…

Lovely isn’t it?

But that never happens that way. We wish a million things but we never get them all. If we did get everything we wished for, Life would surely be something else.

Life never gets EVERYTHING to a person know why?

Because it would act as the reason of motivation and every philosophical thing you can link so as to give your mind a false belief of it.

But we all know the real thing…WE JUST DIDN’T GET IT.

That’s what upsets us during the highest times when you’re at the peak of success or lonely and no one to share to.

We wish a lot of things that never would happen or never can.

As children we wish I wish I was SUPERMAN. On reaching teenage we think I wish that girl did like me the way I like her ,Or if we grew up as a bookworm it would be I wish I make it to the top 10 ranks of IIT.

We go to meet our special one I wish he/she would have said that or done something special like that. I wish my special one was Romantic, I wish there would have been no one when we meet or the lights went off…!

Yes, a Million things to wish and none come true. It Hurts.

If you think it doesn’t? I am sure you’re lying to yourself then.

[FLASHBACK]

I had grown popular over Orkut. I had now become the RJ and Radio head of various leading communities on Orkut and was looking over them as well.

I enjoyed as a Voice over RJ. Every one in fact new me apart from the new one‘s or the people I never talked to, but it was fun.

It was one afternoon I had begun playing the radio and I saw a girl with the profile pic of a healthy looking girl with a skirt, open hair big eyes and confidence and her sexy looks were visible just from seeing the pic.

I being the Rj was talking to everyone and began talking to her too. I mean it wasn’t like I wanted to talk to her because she had a glamorous pic but because she was like any other girl to me listening to me.

She did like my voice and she being honest told that to me and I felt nice.

I had a bad habit of singing over the radio too but she still liked it. It’s not that I am a bad singer. It’s just I sing Atif songs quite very well.

I sent her a friend request.

She accepted it the next day she got online. I really don’t know why the girls take so much of time but they always make sure they are never quick at accepting a friend request.

Like every other guy all I did was checked out her albums.

After going through all her album pics, I came to the conclusion that no matter what women wear but they always appear the best in a saree and that was true for her too.

We started talking. Like usual.

It began from scraps went to gtalk then yahoo and then phone conversations.

Her name was Niharika, belonged to Delhi. She was a mature girl, caring and loving in her own special ways. She was quite practical and that’s what I liked about her.

She was her dad’s princess and she loved her family a lot. She was a Punjabi which reminded me of Riya sometimes. When we used to talk I tried out the little Punjabi I used to know mixed with Urdu and Hindi. She used to giggle and say “aap to rehene hi do!!”

We had got close and we were no longer “just friends”.

She had aims in her life. She wanted to be an MBA and an Entrepreneur. Starting a hotel with the help of her dad. We seldom used to talk about the name of her Hotel. She was serious for life and I sometimes thought her seriousness of things makes me a bit scared but I always wanted to be her support in everything she did.

I am just good at being a good human being. I remember there’s a column in slam book saying “What do you want to become?” I saw people’s reply was always like an IAS, Engineer, and Doctor. But I always wrote.”I want to be a good human being”. I don’t know how much I am successful in becoming one but I do love it this way.

One of my bad habits was that I used to get attach to people very easily and I was attached to her too.

Niharika and I had now entered into a relationship and I felt like a liar. Because had hidden something from her.

I and Niharika were going along quite happily.

The night talks began with a note of “KISS ME THROUGH THE PHONE” and ended on the note of a “beep” which signaled the finishing up of balance on either side.

She wasn’t allowed to take up calls at night.

But sometimes we do crazy things in love in spite of everything. Loving and the feeling of getting caught by your parents talking at night is a unique feeling. It provides you happiness of talking to your loved one but the fear of getting caught always stayed and made it into a blissful feeling.

She used to talk to me through her store room and we ended up kilometers apart though but seeing each other in each other’s arms. That’s how you go to bed thinking off. That‘s what love makes you feel special of. There’s someone whom we can hug imagining him/her close to us and that they are there with us when we need them.

I was talking to the other night when I said “Niharika I have lied to you on something and I have to confess of it today!”

She looking a bit worried said tell me about it.

I told her “I am one year younger to you!”

She got all tensed and said you should have told me before about it. She hung up the phone and didn’t talk to me for about a day.

But her love for me had to win over the age factor and it did. She just asked me not to lie again and I promised her I won’t ever. She was all happy again and so was I.

But as usual happy times do not remain for long.

It was her cousin’s marriage from her place. She was all excited. She used to tell me everything about it. Her happiness used to come out of the phone and make me smile. Happiness too is infectious.

She was all tensed of what to wear like all usual girls. When I told her that I like her pics with the saree. On which she said “Pagal ho? Wahan sab meri shaadi ke peeche pad jayenge phir to !!”

I laughed and said in a teasing way “accha hai na “. She like all the other girls was a bit dramatic sometimes so she kept the phone getting angry. But that couldn’t stop her from calling me after 10 minutes and saying “Main saree hi pehnungi!!”

The best thing of her was that she could cheer me up and the worst thing of her was that she used to always “hmmm” like a Humming bird which I got irritated of sometimes.

And she was the only first one to say to me “You are good at Playing with words!”

The cousin’s marriage was over and they were all home. She was a bit sad as her cousin was her best friend and sister and I could make that out from her soft voice.

It wasn’t mid night but I was going to sleep early today as I thought she would be tired and won’t call up.

But she called up.

She was crying. She was rather sobbing and I could feel her pain and like dumb I asked her “what’s wrong?” She replied in her soft voice crying “DAD!”

That’s all I could hear and she hung up.

I was all tensed and trying to figure out what had happened as until they returned home everything was just fine. I was all tensed and sleep had vanished out of my eyes somewhere in the dark worrying for Niharika.

She was more of a call person and never messaged me ever. But after she hung I got a message relieving me a bit of my tension until I read it.

“ Dad got an attack and we have taken him to the hospital.”

I was all the more tensed now and just prayed to God for “DAD’s” well being. I being an Atheist still Prayed to God with having tears in my eyes, not as much as Niharika but yes they were coming out of my eyes and there was no stopping to it.

All I thought was she and her younger sister and her mom the only ones how would they manage everything, they would be getting quite tensed.

It was close to 1 am at night.

She called up again. Wailing this time.

She said “Nitesh, Dad’s dead!”

I was frozen. I wan numb and I felt all the more dead. But I had to regain my senses as soon as she said this. Because if I get weak too, who’ll console her.

I made myself strong and not knowing what to say. I still tried consoling her. I didn’t know it helped her or not. But she hung up.

I tried calling her up several times.

She didn’t pick up and if she did all she did was cry and hang up.

I don’t really know when I slept calling her up but my last call said 4:32 am.

I wanted to go to Delhi then to be with her. But as usual my exams were up and no matter what I said at home I wouldn’t have been allowed to go in there.

We didn’t talk for about 10 days.

I used to call her up and message her all went without a single response coming from her.

One day she picked up the call and all she said was “Don’t call me again!!”

I was all shattered and broken but I knew it was because of something I could understand and I could feel her pain.

I don’t really remember after how many days we didn’t talk. But when we did she was not the same now. She didn’t talk to me like she used to. She just said one thing “I want to be alone!”

I couldn’t but leave her the way she was becoming. How even I could?

But she meant what she said. No Orkut. No gtalk. No yahoo. No calls. No messages. She had decided to leave me and she did.

She never thought that by doing, what she’s doing to me. She was linked with me and it wasn’t just her Father now. But she didn’t understand that. She just thought of herself. I was worried about her and her family. What will happen now? I used to think of everything.

Her phone remained “switch off”.

Meanwhile, I and Akriti were talking as usual. But I didn’t tell her anything of Niharika. She had so much to worry about herself that I didn’t want to tell her. The one she loved had started ignoring her and she didn’t like it. Well who likes it? So she didn’t like it too. And I was just meant to talk to her and make her happy but she never knew that I needed her too. But it was fine with me. At least I had a friend who would not leave me.

Niharika didn’t talk to me and it had been months. Whenever she picked up the call she used to say “Move on” and hanged up. I mean is it so damn easy? But it was like destiny was mocking at us.

It hardly had been 10 days within which everything happened from our first talk in the community till the death of her father. Things happened quickly for me. As I have this strange feeling that I don’t have much time. I have no idea why I feel so but I am always in a hurry for everything be it anything. And so everything happened in just 10 days but it felt like more than years to me and I couldn’t just move on.

But I had and this time around I had made myself tougher and the soft part of my personality was open for only a few people whom I knew.

Tears did fall from both our eyes both had the grief of departing, her grief was surely more than mine but grief and heart-broke are two different things.

We can just wish things that would have happened or would not have happened.

But everything that starts has an ending.

[Present time]

Sister shouting to mom “I wish I was elder to him [referring to me]”

I: Yea! Get out of your wish list now else you’ll remain a cry baby.

Decisions

2011-05-21T12:12:00.001-07:00

People say that as you grow old you tend to know what’s good for you and what’s wrong.

Does that really happen that way?

There are times when you tend to stop yourself from the various emotions or feelings you really want to be in or you really want to feel…but you stop yourself.

Why?

Because you’re heart says something else and you’re mind says something else and you’re in middle of both the most important parts that guide people on their way to this big journey called life.

We never want to be place in between them no matter what happens..But we somewhere or the other always do come between the mind and heart and it’s you who has to empower either the mind or the heart’s decision.

A hard decision may be..But that has to happen.

Sometimes the decisions of having a person in you’re life or making them leave you rests upon you.

Depending on various facts..Do you want to be with them? Do you really love them?

But the thing is you never really know what “LOVE” stands for until it’s not either over or the person you really love is not there anymore with you.

Love is a word that has been wrongly interpreted in many ways. Everything has a different thing that you’ve heard off and until you really experience it.

You often take some wrong decisions or the decisions that were right for that point of time.

[FLASHBACK]

Time was passing and I had not allowed anyone to get close to me emotionally.

I had made a nice friend Akriti and I was always happy talking to her…chats or sms.

We talked about different things ranging from nothing to everything.

Akriti was in love with a person elder to her by at least 10 years. He once tried being intimate with her and she refused. The guy’s behavior towards her changed. But she kept on loving her. The Guy is from other religion. He’s a Muslim and that is what all she was worried about of how she’ would get acceptance at her home.

I always like a good friend listened to her and talked to her and supported her with everything. We were more of happy people since we started talking.

I had started visiting communities on Orkut now and joined a game in one of the leading Orkut communities.

It was a nice game a mix of splitsvilla and swyamvar types.

It was fun playing that game and completing various tasks.

I had seen some of the weirdest moments then.

I never had ever flirted…yes a thing never in my habit..But in communities like these guys flirt with every girl they see.

Gosh, I didn’t like that.. Until I developed a taste for it and became an expert

But I always did it with people I knew and talked most of the time. It was fun.

I met this girl called Sonakshi. She almost knew everyone there and was pretty famous. I found that out later that she was the moderator of the community and that’s the reason everyone knew her. She was a fun loving girl and always had this special form of talking to people that I did like.

We became friends and as I got to know her I developed a kind of liking for her specially the way she used to talk like a typical respectful girl using words like “aap” and “ji”.

These are small things and I love these stuffs.

I never knew what’s between us but we did like talking to each other quite a lot.

The phone conversations started and I knew everyone right from her little nephew to her big brother. She used to share everything with me. She was damn caring. I mean she used to care for everything and everyone. She may not have the best of voices but yes her accept of speaking borrowed from her Marathi mother tongue and Hindi mix appeared very cute and I loved hearing her.

I was happy and so was she. She belonged to Pune, a place in Maharashtra I had been years ago for my national swimming competition.

Everything was good.

Just when everything starts to be good bad things follow up.

Colleges kept me busy and our timings clashed most of the times…and the night talks mostly began ending due to the tiring day and the other day to come.

Difference built between us as I found out that she has been talking to some other guy meanwhile.

I wasn’t angry on the fact that she was seeing another guy, her life she could do anything.

But being close friends she should at least have told me about it like everything else she used to tell me….or rather as I thought she told me.

Like everything else.

We stopped calling. Stopped messaging .Finally Stopped talking.

I had taken the decision of not talking up and she had accepted it.

She sometimes though used to call me up saying “Miss you”.

And I sometimes used to call her up just for the sake of talking to her small nephew.

I wasn’t much sad or something…it was just what happens when someone gets close to you and breaks you’re trust and then the things that follow. I had got close to a girl after a long time and this is what girls do to you, make you a little tough and you start trusting people less.

I and Akriti talked and that kept me happy until the time I used to log into Orkut again and give air to the memories.

It’s not people who haunt you it’s just their memories that haunt you..Or make you sad or happy.

I have seen a lot in life recently so I could take this loss of a close friend very easily.

And moreover, Akriti had started crying a lot more these days and I could not see her cry. I used to console her and told every possible joke to her just to make her smile. She was one of the Good friends that had happened to me all this time and I didn’t want to lose her.

[PRESENTLY]

Sonakshi calling

Sonakshi: “Hey Nitesh”

I: Hey? How are you?

Sonakshi: I am fine. Mujhe kya hoga ? wo mera kaafi khayal rakhte hain.

[Sonakshi has entered into a relationship by now]

I: Nice.

[I hung up after talking to her for about 10 minutes. I never want to recall memories back]

Faces of Life

2011-05-21T12:11:00.002-07:00

There are times when you seem to have everything in life...but u still find yourself lonely.
its like being in an ocean and still thirsty...

Life is such a game sometimes that inspite of you having everything still there remain certain things you crave for in you're heart.
if you get a pencil,you want a bigger one.
if you get a friend,you want a girlfriend.
if you get a girlfriend,you want someone else..or you feel that there's something missing after sometime.

Thats How life really is.

Ups and Downs...goes through everyone's life but the thing important that makes it better or worse...
is the way they come or enter you're life.

There are a few relations or people you meet and you dont value them..and aftersome time...
they are the one who make you get tear in you're eyes just missing them...or smile on you're face...
with memories associated with them.

Just like the Schooldays which you never forget in you're entire life...
A time when the whole world felt like a discovery channel where in there's a lot to explore.
Times which when you think of make you feel happy about the times and sad because they are no more..
Its just memories now.

There are certain people who leave a large impact on you in shorter times..
or people whom you did talk the entire day and entire nights...but you've lost contact with them..
or you feel that there's nothing much left to talk about to them...

Times changes and so does people but the things that never change is Memories.
Our mind is an unique thing it stores it into itself a lot of stuffs...
sometimes you dont remember the peoples name...but you recognize them through faces even when you see after a long time.

[Flashback]

Its been a time i didnt want anyone just a good nice friend in my life.It wasnt so
that i was short of friends or something...it was just that i wanted someone to understand me...
thats like a phase when you want yourself be alone and yet want someone to share you're feelings with...
Boards had ended everyone was talking of IIT's and their admissions in big colleges.
surprisingly i never talked about it and not even wanted to.

IIT tag is good even girls prefer guys with a big tag..but i didnt want it.It wasnt my idea.
I never wanted to be in an IIT.

I was suffering from the Board psychoma or something..the only thing i thought of..was after boards what will happen ?
will my best friends still remain my best friends ?.
My friends will go to different places and i would miss them.

Yes,I am an emotional fool or rather i was one.

I dont know if my friends ever thought about it or not but i certainly did think about it...and a lot.

It was the time i had left everything.

No Facebook.No Cellphone message talks.No Hanging out with friends like always.

Every damn thing that i loved doing i left it...even my favourite foods.

I didnt feel like eating them.

When you're not happy its like evry bad thing would happen to you then only.

My Grandma[Nani]..the only Human being i loved the most in this whole world...and she too loved me a lot.
fell seriously ill and was admitted to the hospital.

as my Mom tells me my grandma was on bed lying..and couldnt speak..but was asking for me..by actions.

and as usual was stuck by some stupid exams...which were going on.

I wanted to see my grandma but i couldnt.

I didnt love her just because she had a shop and made me eat everything that i loved from her shop..
from the candies to the khajurs..and even the "Kala wala churan"..was all i used to get..
and the new clothes she used to buy for me...

But because she was my mothers mother..and if my mom loves me so much her mother would love me so much..was what made me stick to her.
I was stuck to her everytime i visited her.I followed her right from her shop and watched her drinking tea in the morning..till the time
she tasted lemon making all those funny faces.

She died.I was Numb.I couldnt get to see her even once.I was heart-broken.

There are times when tears also feel numb enough to flow out of you're eyes even though they are liquids.
it describes that moment when i heard the news.

I could hear my Mom crying and thats all to make me get into my very own uncontrollable sobs..which i hardly did.

The effect remained on me for very long.

Usually at nights i used to think of things related to her...like if she was alive things would have been really different.

I Just wanted to be alone and so I really was....alone...thoughts consumed me and i was consumed by loneliness.

Time Passes Swiftly and so it did...My Mom and everyone at home got back home.

I Hugged my Mom and Cried...Yes i did that.

Mom was over it and so she wept a little with me still but told me that things happen..
and there's a lot to see for me in the future..events like that...

But nothing consoled me..not for about a Month.

After a long time I decided to be happy again..thinking that My Nani wouldnt really like me like this...
and so for her i decided to change the grief that over took me and turn it into happiness...

I opened my Orkut account..the thing that did act as a timepass for a million people...
I was going through profiles...of people in my friendslist..the pending friend requests..scraps and everything..

I Noticed someone.

She was a Girl from my school,Junior to me about two years..but yea there were times in my school..
when standing in the assembly she stood like in my row and i did get a glimpse of her..

as like there are people who leave an impression on you though you never talked to them.

she was one of those people..I was influenced by her simplicity and the innocence that she had on her face.
Very few people have that kinda face..like they're still kids exploroing the world.

I sent her a friend request.

She accepted it..and recognized me as one of her seniors at school..and yea she got that right..!

I had changed a lot by then or during the times when i wanted to be alone.

I had developed an other side of me..full of rudeness and who talks less and an I dont care attitude.

I talked less to her...and she didnt like me being rude..but i couldnt help it..i had forgotten myself somewhere..

or may be i forgot the way of talking to a Girl.

But I never acted good.

We started talking and she after sometime found out a Good side of me.

Girls are pretty good at this i think..they tend to find out things about you sooner or later and so did she.

Her Name is Akriti..and she's really beautiful..full of simplicity and innocence.

I always remembered a background song while talking to her..

"Na Kajre ki dhaar..na Motiyon k haar..na koi kiya shringaar phir bhi kitni sundar ho".

We became friends in the mean time.

Good friends.

Discussing about life and life to come..present past everything.

I was a bit happy and feeling so to..becuase she took me out of that hell of loneliness where all i found was darkness all around me.

But when i did talk to her i was happy.

You realize things off late and sometimes when it gets too late.

[Present]

"Dooriyan bhi Hain Zaroori".....

MTV is on..and thats the song thats playing on the TV...and I love this Movie "Break ke baad"...

Words for some and exprience for some.

Thats how life is....!

The Green Eyed Girl

2011-05-21T12:11:00.000-07:00

"Yaar,Orkut Bore ho Gaya hai yaar..Koi Online hi nahi aata hai ab"..exclaimed Aqib...
A Friend from College...one of the Few blessed with Brains in my College...!
Everyone has its Golden Phase and so had Orkut..there was a time when everyone was on orkut.
I once went to a Cyber Coffee and on every computer i could see a Blue coloured background..
I wanted to see what was it ? as Even the Girls were into it...
It said in Bold letters "ORKUT"..

I still didnt have an idea about it..untill i finally got addicted to it..and now the whole world wants Facebook !

Like Fashion changes so did the Social Network.

[Flashback]
I Had been Just started with Orkut..and Made Quite a few number of scraps after i joined in...

I had heard Riya to be on orkut so i joined it...but i didnt find her anywhere.

Neither in the school communities nor in the friendlists of people..and it has been a few months now...

I had made about eight thousand scraps untill then....
One fine evening i was sending a scrap to one of the people in my friend list and visited her profile....
and i went to see her last scraps..

I Saw Riya's scrap to her..and that too it showed "2 mins ago"....

I was filled with a sense of Joy...and sent her a frnd request at once.
But Girls are Girls..."Bhaav Khana puraani adat hota hai"...they love making Guys wait...!

and she was so too...She accepted my friend request after 15 mins...and i so hate waiting....!!
I sent her a "Hi"...
and she replied Back.."hey Nitesh"...!

I Replied "Whats My New Word after Hai Rabba ?"

She replied "Sochna padega"...with a Tongue out smiley...!

and that was it..we started talking !! and I was very happy about it...!
Things were going good...she always came online by 6pm..and so did I..and we talked for one hour daily...

until...

Oneday A Guy came asking for me to my class...
Boy: Ru Nitesh ?
Me: Yea ! didnt change my identity yet.

Boy : I am Saurabh.

Me : so ?

Saurabh: These days you have started talking to Riya a lot..

Me : When did that become current affairs ? anyway so ?

Saurabh : So wat ? Stay away from her Dude..She's my GF !

Me: Okay.

[he left]

[Home time]

I was walking out of my class...

I Saw Riya and i went to her and ask about Saurabh...[Y didnt she tellme about saurabh ?]

as i went closer i saw Saurabh Staring at me...

i called Suarabh..he was hesitant..but later he came..

I called Riya..and as i called her Suarabh started leaving...but i didnt let it happen...

I to Riya : Riya..Saurabh says he's ur BF.is that True ?

Riya to Saurabh : [Angrily] What do you think of yourself ? i never expected this from You.

[I went home thinking about this Drama]
I like always went online at 6pm...

It was 6:15pm..and she didnt show up..it hadnt happened ever though...

I decided to visit her profile...and the profile wasnt there..SHE HAD DELETED HER PROFILE !!

I was filled with questions..why did she delete her profile ? why didnt she tellme anything ?

is Saurabh really her Bf ?...and all these answers i wanted from her...!

Next day i went to school...

I wanted to talk to her..but never found her alone enough to talk to her personally...
and it conintued for like 10 days..

I was going restless and all the more that urge in me to talk to her was getting more on me....!

I decided to take help of an old so called Friend "Radhika"...[Remember Her ? if not go through my previous blogs].
She was in her class and i had to see her face again..though i never wanted to see it again...but i had too..!

I went upto her to ask Riya..as if y she did leave orkut and talking to me ?

She promised me to help me....! I was happy about it...!
Next day..i went upto her...with a letter...with everything written on it..what i had to say or ask to Riya..

yes the season of "Love letters" was back for me...!
I gave her the letter to Radhika to give it to Riya...in the Lunch time

[Sometimes the conditions become so worse rightly said "Waqt aane pe be gadhe ko bhi baap banana padta hai"...ofcourse of the opposite gender in this case]
I went up to Radhika..if she gave it to Riya...she said...yes ! I gave it...!

I was happy that my feelings reached Riya !...and waited desperately for her reply/

Guys become desperate when they do something for a Girl and wait to get a reaction from them...!
I was waiting for the next day..and it came...

I went to school happily...and asked Radhika..if she gave her something in return ?

She said "NO"...

I was hell disappointed...

I didnt know of any other way to interact to her.....

After waiting for about 15 days....and telling myself each day that she might reply to me today...

but she didnt...

Whenever i looked up at her...i just looked in her eyes...

and she never looked in mine for more than 3 seconds....!

That was height of my Patience test...
I decided to write a Letter again..and so did I....but got no response....

During these times i could have been imagine as modern day Devdas minus the beard and minus the wine...!

I was Sad..and that showed on me...i remained SILENT.....gosh..pathetic...!
Nitesh without a song on his lips..is not Nitesh..really...!!

But Yea ! I was sad about it...!
I decided to stop thinking of her...thats the best thing you tell yourself in such condition...
but what really happens is..you're telling you're mind "Not to think of a thing"...
and it does just the opposite...

Remember when you were young..and you're mom told you not to walk out of the door ? and you were all the more interested in Going out ?

Same was the case with me....
I was walking to my classroom....

when she came infront of me...god ! I couldnt take my eyes of her..she was looking so damn pretty today..
the snow seemed to get its colour from it..and the red beet too...was nothing in front of her cheeks....!

when i heard a Girl saying "Happy Birthday Riya"...!

It was her birthday Today...

I said "Happy Birthday Riya"..

She smiled and said "Thanks Nitesh"...

I wanted to talk to her more..but she went away untill then like a wind.

[Y didnt she talk to me all this time ?]

I was just thinking of her Smile...guys have this wrong notion of a the Girl's smile...

and Girls use it fantastically..for killing Guys..and i was literally killed....!

I was filled with high hopes again.

I took my friend and texted him...and he was there at Lunch time with a gift pack.

Sometimes you feel like Kissing you're friend...and it was a right moment...but nah ! I didnt do it !

I took the Gift pack from him..and in the last english class i had written up a LOVE LETTER again...!
I went to Radhika..in between classes and asked her to deliver it at the place where she knew !

She had become my Delivery Girl by now and that too a Free delivery Girl...!
At home time..Radhika came to me..and she gave me the gift pack..
saying...she didnt accept it....! but has taken you're letter.
I was all the more puzzled..she never responds to letters but takes them..y in the world will any girl do that ?

to show her friends off that i get love letters and stuff ?

Whatever it was...i was outraged in anger...

I went straight upto her..without thinking anything..as thoughts are the ones that stop you..
I taking care of the people around me..said.."if you're not accepting it..its not going with me too"

and i went outside the gate of my school.

Just outisde our school was the Main Road.

I kept the Gift in the Middle of the Road..and looked at her from the other side.

I could see her looking at me from the Other side...

An ambassdor came and crushed my gift...

I decided to never think of her again..as i never did so much for a Girl...!
Times passed..being in a New school and became more difficult..with i trying to avoid Riya Now...

I and my Friends...I ,Gaurav and Amol..decided to start bunking classes Now..

and we did that on a regular basis...

We bunked and went to nearby places and enjoyed..and our fav place used to be Marine drive in those days too..!
Untill..we got caught...

I didnt have any kinda image in this new school..and i was least bothered about it..
and it got worst after i and my friends were caught bunking..
It made me feel that I'll never be able to talk to Riya...after this...as she was the topper of her class..
and it happened that way too...

I went less to school...

as i fell ill with Juandice tooo.....

and time acts as the best medicine always for everything...

Though somewhere in my heart i wanted to get answers from her...

[PRESENT]

"Oye Nitesh..tu Facebook pe hai "..it was Aqib again...
all this while he deleted his orkut profile and joined Facebook...

I nodded..and opened my Facebook profile.

as i opened my Profile..i saw someone very familiar.

"Riya"..in "PEOPLE YOU MAY KNOW LIST"..

Such Irony..I laughed.....

Aqib "Kya Hua Be ?"

Me : Kuch nahi be..kuch yaad aagya tha...

Aqib : kya ?

Me: [Changing the Topic] Bangayi teri profile ?

We talked of profiles..and how to add girls you dont know on facebook profile !!

Punjabi Kudi

2011-05-21T12:09:00.000-07:00

"Punjabi Ladkiyan Bahut Khoobsoorat Hoti Hain Yaar",Said Tabish...

One of my best friends who used to live infront of my house...and had a big crush on a Punjabi Girl
of his school..
Tabish has been just like me..Honest and Loyal..and we believed in one women thing..untill then..
as we were not that heart-broken untill then !! [Sarcastically]

Tabish and I used to sit together all day and discuss of the facts of girls..
y girls r like this and that...
so you can guess a lot of time was wasted just of thinking of girls...

We defined well the definition of "Velle" at that point of time..
board exams has ended..and all we did is play and talk...!

Tabish being good at philosophy used to give me his special lessons when it came to studies.
I used to be tensed because i had to change my school and enter a new school..

All these years i had been always among friends..and being good in sports and academics..
I was quite known by one and all..and i wanted the same to happen in the new school i joined in.
I and my friends decided to go to the same school even one of them took admissions.
Some of them remained loyal and some had to follow their Parents guidance.

I finally entered into this New school..one of the best schools in town "City Montessori school"..
I got in the Mahanager IInd building...in PCM section...!

Yes,PCM..as i couldnt take PCB..I couldnt see blood and all...
and not Commerce as it wasnt considered that Good then..and my Parents wanted me to be an Engineer.

So,here was Nitesh Shilpkar...in a new crowd where no one knew me and i knew know one except a bunch of friends who belonged to the old school as me...

The daily formalities began with the day..the morning prayers....
A time when you can see your friends,pass a smile or wave them...or just move you're eyebrows in a way saying "Hello"...!

I being new didnt move my head as much as the old students...
The head boy was more of a girl...and the head girl was more of a boy...seemed like a role reversal between them..!

But I had to see who all people are there in here....specially the good looking females..like every other guy who was checking out their fresh batchmates..
i couldnt find one seemingly approchable or likeable to me..!

Every Guy looks for something specific in her girl..some want good eyes,long hair..but for me i had a unique quality to like in a girl about...
if a girl doesnt match that...no matter the girl in Miss Universe..the girl isnt likeable by me..[in particular] !

It was "Go Home" time after few days of boaring classes and everything...
Physics didnt get in my head...because of the teacher with such heavy voice..
Maths I never can understand..and Chemisrty I had to mugg up as the Teacher just lived behind my house...! Awful..!

I was walking towards the cycle stand [yes! i still go to school by a cycle].
My eyes met with a Girls eyes..greenish..yes the eyes were greenish..square lens shaped spects she had...
amazingly beautiful..not a hint of make up..such was her simplicity..
and "INNOCENCE" as i term it "Masoomiyat"...was like dripping from the banks of the bay of bengal..!

"WHOZ THAT GIRL ? I REALLY WANNA KNOW ! I REALLY NEED TO KNOW ! WHOZ THAT GIRL"

lost in thinking of her i reached home.

Next day,in the break period...i went to the other section to meet Pankhuri.

[Pankhuri remember ? The Girl becuase of whom Radhika broke up with me]

I and Pankhuri had become friends over the time.
I hated her like anything and she did the same.

But,finally when we cleared out our misconceptions we became friends.

Pankhuri told me that Radhika used to speak bad of me infront of her and she did spoke badly of Pankhuri infront of me.

It was Radhika who was the female of the Dog hence !

I went to Pankhuri and gave her the description of the girl whom i saw yesterday in school..
She promised me that she'll inquire and tellme about her..!
I went to my class relaxed and thinking of her..her eyes..the innocence on her face...!

I finally got her details by the home time.

Riya was her name and she belonged to the Commerce section...I was happy knowing about it...
but a bad thing was that she was very studious,reserved and didnt interact much with even girls..

My chances with her were no where...i wasnt good in studies...and neither was i the most handsome man in school...
and nor i was wealthy...

I down the line somewhere began thinking that its always Rich Guys who attract beautiful girls...

I was always positive no matter what...so i decided and get good marks so that eventually i earn a good reputation and talk to her...!

TESTS came up..and i had decided to do my best in them...

I studied hard enough just so that i could do enough to get good marks and talk to her....

Tests results came out..

She stood first in her class...and I did bad....!

So no chance for me talking to her....!

I decided to give up.

Thats the most strange thing when you start liking someone one cant just give up.
The urge of just seeing her was enough to drive me two floors down every period just for drinking water or for the washroom..
the best excuses one can find...!

Months Passed away.

MACFAIR an International event came up in school.

I was participating in a Group dance and so was she...

It was lovely watching her practicing and just seeing her was enough for me...! I was happy just by seeing her.

I used to get a strange shy filled smile on my face just by seeing her...and it felt really good...!

Some chosen ones were appointed for looking after the Groups coming up from Abroad and several Parts of India.

I was among one of them.

I was the Team leader of St.agustine church college,kolkata.[All boys]

Pankhuri was the leader of Mussoorie International [ All girls,but not good looking]

Pankhuri's Irritating friend Saumya..was the leader of a school from Kathmandu..[Consisting of all beautiful girls]

I asked Pankhuri to Introduce me to the Kathmandu girl from Nepal...
as they appeared friendly..

I went upto them and Said "Hey ! My Name is Nitesh"...
Giving my hand in order to shake my hands with one of the cutest girl of the Group..Riju.

She said "Hello I am Riju".

I: How is coming to India ?

[they started giggling along with Saumya and Pankhuri]

I all puzzled what was wrong ? that just happened when some guys zip remains open.

I was just hoping that thats not the case with me.

Pankhuri [Smiling]: Nitesh they know hindi...!

I[disgusted]: Kya yaar phaaltu itni angrezi jhaadni padi..! [grinning]

[All of them laughing]

I intreacted with Riju,Aditi,Akriti and Priyanka.

[Priyanka and Aditi were the sexiest chicks in there and Riju and Akirti were cute]

I enjoyed their company and they did mine...!

The Group delegates had to be with the delegation since morning 6 am to 6pm...

and all this time We used to be together...! loved this entire time..!

I had to come in and out of the auditorium for various things..i did notice a girl always busy on Phone..!
I noticed her quite a few times..always BUSY on phone..

I went up to her...

and said "Miss Phone What Important is it going on Phone always ?"

She smiled and said "yes ! Talking at Home..I am getting boared in here"

I went and sat on the stair case where she had been standing...

She sat down too..and we started talking....!

I dont Know what did we talk..but i could see her smiling and giggling.

She complained that she had to get a new sim for here...so that she could talk to her people...!

I took her number and then i left...!

Her Name was Vaishali and she was from Gwalior..
there was something worth noticing in all the Girls who came from different places...and common among all girls..
and something that guys loved...

Yes you guessed it Right "short skirts"...!!

Vaishali was dusky and sexy..with long hair..and eyes with Kajal and looked somewhat of the kinds of Konkana sen !

I Used to be seen less with the Nepal girls now..and I and Vaishali used to b somewhat together...
I used to have lunch with her and be with her almost all the time...!

Meanwhile..Guys came up to me to show their insecurity or lack of confidence...asking me to stay away from "THEIR GIRLS"...
Though they were never seen with one or asking me to introduce them....
But I was least interested...

Macfair was a 3 day even and it was just the first day of it.....!!

Next Day...while having our morning tea..I noticed a Girl all dressed up in white....
Dark though in complexion...of the likes of chocolate...and her simplicty and innocent face....
arose an inside urge of Talking to her.....!!

Heart is a unqiue entity..You can talk to a million Girls you're not that interested...
But when you are near the Girl it likes or starts liking...every damn thing happens..
confidence falls down...you have you're stomach twisting as if you have constipation problems...

Thats wat started happenning with me...I Had talked to most of the beauties who came in Macfair...
But there was something that i feared of while talking to this new girl....

I wanted to Know of her..and talk to her...

While having their Breakfast...i found out about her..!

I called up a Girl in the same kinda white dress and asked her from where is she ? she answered "SRI LANKA"..
I pointed her to the Girl i found out among so many...and asked her Name ? she answered her Name is "Sue".....!

Girls have a Bad habit of going everywhere along with a bunch of Girls together..and Sue to followed the Girls commandaments...!

There was a Time when she was alone...i went upto her all nervous though and talked to her...
We did talk and not much as her Teacher called her up...but the while we did it she was all smiling.....!! [I loved it]

Riju Gave me her Slam book to be filled by me and I while filling it got an idea to get it filled by Sue too...!

I couldnt walk up and go to the Sri Lankan Camp and get Sue to fill it...that sounds more like Hypothetical..
so i asked Riju who had become my friend now...to get the Job Done....!

and She got it done....!

Her Name was Sue and had an Hotmail email id...i had never thought of making an Hotmail email id untill then...!
She wanted to be a Lawyer and she wished me best of Luck for my life..and that she loved talking to me....!!

I was happy about the last part...i didnt know that News among girls spreads like air..!

I was talking to Sue near the canteen..trying my English to the best of my ability..

and the Girls of my school were singing...

"Sue kar mere mann ko kiya tuune kya ishara".....!! [sometimes movie flicks inspire you]

I was smiling at this act and so was Sue with her act of shyness on her face..and i was loving it...besides the fact that i wasnt in McDonalds...!

[Phone rang]

It was Vaishali calling...

Vaishali: "where are you ?"

I: I am at Canteen.You ?

Vaishali: Did You find some other girl ?

I : Y asking that ?

Vaishali: As i havent seen you since we had breakfast....!

I : I had been busy...and i made a New friend...!

Vaishali : I knew...Btw...I wanted You to fill my slam book.

I: I will do it..will come to you...!

[Hung up]

Sue was waiting for me to hang up..

I smiled and said "What ?".

Sue: My Teacher is calling i gotta leave.

I: alright..!

[We departed]

I Went to Vaishali..she was waiting for me...

She gave me her slam book..and I was filling it...

she asked me : Do You Like me ?

I was startled at her sudden upcome with such a Question.

I looked at her all amazed.

She laughed and said I was just kidding.

To My relief..I never knew such a thing would Happen..and I started thinking..wat wuld have i answered her if she did ask it ?

I Didnt bother my mind much...as she didnt look all that serious...!

We went to canteen and had Coffee together...!

I Was Happy with the way the things were in these two days...

but at the back of my mind i was thinking of something or rather someone..i hadnt seen for the last two days...

Yes ! I was thinking of Riya....!!

It was the 3rd and the Last day of Macfair..

I Had been busy with my team delegates taking them to Places[The Guys]....no time for Sue,Vaishali or The girls from Nepal...!

It was about 5pm in the evening i got free....after just one hour these three wonderful days at macfair would come to an end...
Vaishali had already called me 12 times....and i didnt get to recieve any of her calls...!

I Moved towards her room...the room was locked...
I went to her friends Room...asking for Vaishali...

Vaishali was there..at seeing me she was happy yet that angry look just to inquire of me..where i was the entire day..!
her friend left the room as i entered in....[I would like that thank you ! as said]

Vaishali asked as i thought of Where were you ?

I : Was busy with my delegates of Kolkata.

Vaishali: I thought ur a resprentative of those Pink Girls.[Nepal team's dress code was pink]

I[laughing]: Hell No ! One of my friends is their reperesntative.

Vaishali: but i thought so.[Packing her Bag]

I: When ru going ?

Vaishali: Today Only.

[phone rang]

It was the Teacher of my Team Delegate.He wanted to see me of some work.

I said to Vaishali and told her i am going and would b back soon.

I walked towards the Door...

Vaishali : Wait.

I Turned Back.

She hugged me.

and said "will Miss you"..

I Said Same here..!

She said: I'll give you my number when i Reached Gwalior.

I: Okay [smiling]

I left the room.

As i walked out of the room..I felt some strange feeling...a feeling which came to me some years ago....
as if i something is leaving me....

But i didnt wanna feel that thing again...I rushed to the teacher who called me up...!

After finishing my work....
I looked at the time it was 6:05 pm...

The Bus would Leave anytime...

I called up Vaishali to say good bye to her...and a sweet melodious voice said..

"Your Balance is not sufficient for the call.Recharge soon".

I was highly pissed though her voice was sweet and melodious...

[Phone rang]

Vaibhav: Where the hell are You ?

I:Coming.

Vaibhav: Come fast ! The bus is about to leave.

[hung up]

I Ran towards the Bus...

Fortunately the Nepal delegates were out...I shook hands with them..and bid farewell with them...
all saying "Miss You"..to which i formally replied "You too"...!

Moving out of the auditorium...I was messing up with myself..and my brains thoughts were building up a pressure cooker..hawkins wala...!
I wanted to say Goodbye to Sue...Will i get to see her for this last time ? was all going in my mind...

Making my way out..i looked here and there..in order to see any one from the Sri lankan delegates to send my message to Sue...but i didnt find any of them....!!

I finally reached the Bus..and got on it....!

Sat on my seat all taken up by thoughts of not seeing Sue..and thoughts of Vaishali...

Friends : Bye boldiya sabko ??

I Just stared at them specifying my MOOD..which just said "DO NOT DISTURB"...!! [our bus started its sounds as it makes on starting]

I looked out of my Window.

All I could see was another bus parallel to it...

a Girl looking at me out from one of the windows just opposite to me...

Her beautiful innocent face was all i could see and thought of..untill my brain told me..

"Damn You ! Its SUE"...

I was filled at that moment with more of adrenalin or testosterone..i am unsure of that..

But I stood up..smiling..

Opening the window wide..packing the whole window for the person sitting infront...i didnt care of it then...

i just opened the Window...

My eyes met that of Sue..I waved my Hand towards her..calling out "BYE !!"...

"BYE DEAR"....that's all I heard...

as my Bus Moved...infront towards home..i felt like screwing the bus Driver for moving the bus only then...!!

But..Everything had ended..No SUE..NO VAISHALI..NO NEPALI GIRLS.....!

[Beep bee]

[A Message inbox]

Vaishali:

I Had a Wonderful time with You..and will give you my number as

soon as i reach Gwalior.
This number will be switched off now.Bye Take Care.Miss You.<3.

I smiled looking at the message...!

[Good things were happening]

Reaching school again back from The Macfair place...had never been this short..or i was too lost in the memories of the last three days..!

I Had a Fantastic time in there.

[Getting down from the Bus.]

I Noticed those Greenish Eyes again...It had been three days i didnt see her.....
[Where had she been ? How is she ? is all i thought of on seeing her]

Filled up with Confidence i gained during this Macfair....

I went up to her...

"Hey Riya'

Riya: "Hey Nitesh"...[I Wonder how she knew my name]

I: You're punjabi ?

Riya : YES !

I: Mujhe Punjabi Sikhaogi ?

Riya : But Mujhe nahi aati.

I: i Donno about that ! But You're my Punjabi Teacher from Now on.

Riya:[Feeling shy] Hai Rabba !!

[I never noticed that she can change colours from whitish to pink this quicly]

She was looking as beautiful to me as always....

[She smiled and went away]

Thats How it is..girls leave you in a wonderstate...

and so was I...

with words repetedly in my head like a song with an infinite FOR loop....

"HAI RABBA"......!!

Once Upon a Time

2011-05-21T12:08:00.001-07:00

" Jag ne Cheena Mujhse...
Mujhe Jo Bhi Laga Pyaara..

Sab Jeeta Kiye Mujhse...
Main Har dum hi haara..."

Lines of a Beautiful old song..I was listening to...but Holds the Truth of a Million
people on this Earth...

The Lines Just Touch You Like a Tsunami...and still Leave you in a State of Drought...

There is something always just so associated with songs and you're life..
Like The First Song...You're loved one sang for You...
The Song that Gone into You're Mind When You think of you're someone special..is always great...!!

[Flashback]

I as a Kid was quite innocent...i am not just adding that up...

People Used to tease me a lot of my liking towards one of my childhood friend Anamika...!
Anamika was a single-boned girl with face as white as milk of a cow and big beautiful Eyes...
she was the daughter of my far off relative and his dad has recently got transfered to Lucknow.

We grew uo together..We were best friends...

Played games..hide and seek...Mummy Papa...Ghar Ghar...

all Girlish Stuff..but that's how it was....!!

She Was different from other Girls...as in..she was all lean and thin...

I used to Tease her a lot "Haddi Tahin thi" !!

She had different names for me....!!

She was the only Girl in my Life untill I was Good Enough to understand things..
I had seen a lot of Hindi Movie Flicks..and in Movies thats what Happened...
You're Best friend became you're lover...!!

Everyone used to Tease me relating me to her....

Everyone used to say "Tumhari issi se shaadi krwa denge"...

Though I was filled with Happiness within my chest..but i had to act shy and say..
"Mujhe chaadi nahi Kalni hai"...dats How Kids Speak isnt it ? !

I Always thought my live is settled when i was a Kid....
I would Have a beautiful wife as Anamika...and I would earn in thousands..and would be really happy with her...

We used To Play all day and night...except the time I used to be in School...
I was with my Childhood Girlfriend !!

Things were always so good when I used to be with her....
Holding her Hand and doing all sorts of things...from see-saw in the park...
to running together till home...

Every damn thing required energy..and that came from holding her soft Hands...

as if Vaseline was always applied on them...!

   It was Her Birthday and I Bought her a Scenery..in which there's a Guy Kissing a Girl with Red roses held in his Hands...!

Yea ! Thats Wat I Thought of..Kissing her Cheeks...as I never did that...

Though She sometimes if she cried and I made her quiet...saying something or the other....made her smile..used to do on my cheeks...

but as i told you Earlier i was very "Innocent"...!

I am still considered a Clown at my House..My Mom calls me "Joker"....and my sisters Know I am an SRK Fan..
Hence I act Quite well....!

I Could Make her Smile...But Like Every Other Guy..I never could see her Cry...

She sometimes used to hold my hand and Cry...though she never told me the reason..but did...
Her Behaviour changed for a Day but the next day she was fine...

I had been accustomed to it....!!

We Were Growing up together..and thats How I Used to see of Us..
Growing old together....

But Whatever You Think of Things Never Happen the Same way....!!

Things Changed...and that too drastically....

Her Dad Got a Transfer to a Far off Place....and she had to leave that day...
as i came from school...i gotta know about her departure...

I ran to her to say..Goodbye...

We met..Looked in Eyes of Each other...and being not mature enough to hold our tears back..
We did cry..it was like something was going away from me....

I could feel the Pain from the next day...

Neither going to school remained fun..nor coming back from it...

things were quite Slow for me..Time moved slow too..

Each time I Had a Look on Watch..it would have been just a few minutes since the last time i had seen the watch...

It was this time I made some male friends...in my colony..

because i had the Ball and the Bat..the most necessary elements for Cricket..

which i earlier used just for Playing with Anamika..!

I was Missing her in doing everything..even for going to the washroom...!

She used to keep knocking at My Door..untill i got out from it...quickly...!!

Thats how we were...! Silly KIDS !

It Had been about a Few months I hadnt seen her....or even Heard her Voice.

When i got to Know..We all are going to visit her Place...!

I was super excited...

But I had to Hide that excitement feeling in my Heart....!

   We reached her Place in the Evening...
My Eyes Just searching of her..as we had grown quite a lot in the past few months..
and I wanted to see how much has she changed over in this time...

to my surprise she hadnt changed much...she was thin and still thin..
I thought to myself..."ye Hamesha itni hi patli rahegi kya ?" !!

We looked.
we Smiled.

We went at her Terrace..and We sat together looking at the sunset....well that's how we saw in movies..and decided to see it together...!

I was there for Just One day and we had to leave the next morning...!

we being Kids slept some what close to each other besides our respective Mom's..Talking..

It since then I Know that EYES CAN TALK TOO...!!

They said the same thing like mine..that we missed Each other.....!!

We left the Next Day..!!

Leaving her felt like i was getting an Injection in each tissue of my Body..and thats the only thing i am afraid of...!!

Things became obvious for us.
We had to miss each other.
We get to see each other at family gatherings or once a year when we used to visit at her place.

Everything changes with time and so did this time when we visited her Place.

She wasnt behaving the same with me...

She was happy to see me...I could Make that out from her Eyes...but she wasnt behaving that way....

We were again there for just one day...and i coudnt wait for her mood swings...

I went up on the Terrace..She came in there Later..

I Held her Hand like always firmly...

and I asked...wats Wrong ?

She didnt say a anything just stayed numb for a while...

she said "Nitesh You're a Nice Guy and You'll get many other girls"..thats how she said it...

I was all puzzled...as if some one has taken off the mattress below me...!

she again said "Get someone better in you're Life"...

I was like..stop kidding me Anamika...wats wrong ?

she Hugged me and Ran away.....!

Next day as i woke up..she was standing next to me...
she said "Sorry for Yesteday"...

I smiled..as i was accustomed to her mood swings..!

It was the Time to Leave...!

I was so accustomed to this Leaving her act..that I had grown some kind of resistance to my tear glands...!
But she was crying this time..in a silent manner this time...!

Things were going all the same after coming back from her Place.
her Memories..the things we did or used to do always stayed on my mind and kept me Happy.

One day..i came back home from School...

Giving my first exam that just started off...

I Saw my Mom Crying.

I never like my Mom crying.Eventually Who Does ?

I asked her the reason of her Tears and she replied "Baby ki badi beti ki death ho gayi"...

I was all stunned.

[Baby was Anamika's Mom's Name..or thats how she was called]

ANAMIKA was dead.
[She was a Cardiac Patient since Birth. & I gotta Know it then]

Exams meant i couldnt even get to see her...and thats how it Happened....!

I Didnt get to see ANAMIKA ever after that.

[Present]

"Har Pal Yahan Jee Bhar Jiyo...

Uska Nishaan...KAL HO NA HO"....

a Song going on the Radio....

and Thats How Life Really is.....!!

That One Girl

2011-05-21T12:07:00.000-07:00

I and Ankur went to our Favourite Place Marine Drive...We name it just that way...its in Lucknow.
Its a Place where Guys used to do all the stunting and Racing Few Years Back..
Now with Mayawati in action..Its transformed into a Mini park...!

But I love its location..!
A Road to begin with which doesnt end...semi-red structures of walls constructed all around.
It has a White Coloured Statue of Lord Budha inside it on a beautifully carved marble platform quite high on it.
on the Other side is a red brick foothpath quite long and grasses on both sides...and it quite goes till horizon !!

Near the Footpath is a wall constructed and following is steps to the River Gomti...!

I am in just love with this place..its like a stress buster for me...!!

Ankur Lives in Gomti nagar near Marine drive so we always end up being at Marine along with our batchmates.

Couples are regular visitors in there too.....!!

Ankur Caught an Eye of a Girl..a thing which almost all Guys do..even the Guys who swear that they didnt watch another girl but their special ones.

Ankur " Nitesh wo dekha raha hai us blue top wali ko"..

Me: Where ?

Ankur : Abe wo udhar ! [pointing at her]

Me : Yes !

Ankur : She looks exactly like one of my friends in School...I had a deep crush on her and I have never seen her again...since then...!!

Me : to kya be ? Dost kisliye hote hain ? bhabhi ko hum dhoond lenge !

[ The best thing You say up to give hopes to your friend and Bhabhi is the best thing you can say !!]

[Flashback]

I used to go to School in a Rickshaw as a Kid...

There was my classmate Avantika who used to go in by the same rickshaw and lived near my house.

Avantika as i remember her was a dumb Girl as i thought her to be...She spoke only to mark attendence...in the class...

She used to sit beside me..yes she was my SEAT PARTNER...!!

We never talked as i knew she wont reply...and if you did try to talk to her..she would barely say anything..
I still did like her innocent and her being shy.....
but that was just limited to that...

I didnt notice her much...as i was the Blackboard incharge and the cupboard incharge for all the Teachers...
and then I had my best friends Puneet and Ujjwal to talk to me always...

But she was still my friend and i did consider her one...

untill she left..in class 4th...!

My Rickshaw always did go through the same route and her house used to be on the same road..so as when we used to pass from there...
I tried to see her and ask her why did she leave school ??

but Neither did i Saw her nor had any idea of her.....

But yea sometimes i did think of her...while seeing the school group pics as i tried to remember each one of them....!

It was Durga Pooja festival going on..and I went to Bhoothnath,a local market along with my Parents...

I Noticed a Girl in Short Black dress with back some what open....but i couldnt see her face..

As she turned..I was more of surprised...

Heart says believe your Eyes and the Mind says No you're eyes are lying...

In the battle of heart and mind..my eyesight was at stake...

I looked at her again...

and yes it was her...it was Avantika....!!

She had grown into a Sexy Looking Girl..and too add to my amazement she was Talking and Laughing...

But still...I wasnt that Happy..the Image I had of her was all Blown up..and i coudn't accept her or like her with this image....!!

....but i didnt talk to her..and she was lost somewhere in the huge public......!!

During my Way Back home Sumtyms I Saw a Girl looking like Avantika coming from the other side on a Rickshaw...but i never believed it was her...

though she always smiled after seeing me..!!

------------

New tenants had moved in my House.

I often Saw a Guy visiting their Place....!

Once my old childhood friend Ankit happened to visit my Place.....

We both Talked a lot of our childhood and asked of each other...Just what friends do when they meet after a Long time...!

As he happened to leave...that guy who visited my Tenants came in...

Ankit and that new guy shook hands and hugged...i had no idea of how they know each other...

Ankit introduced me to this new guy Mridul....!

Mridul seemed like a Cool Guy but a bit Wierd too.He was the kind of Guys who wanted to look cool in the eyes of Girls...and the Kinda guys I personally Hated.

----

I Was coming out of Cyber Cafe as I was Recently addicted to ORKUT.

Yea ! Orkut The Same Place we Facebook users Now dont want to Return to...!

Hey ! Nitesh...a Voice Called me from my back...

I Turned around to see...and Saw Mridul Greeting me....!!

Mridul : Hey ! Buddy wassup ?

Me : Just going back Home. You ?

Mridul : Just Came Back From meeting my Girlfriend.

Me : alright !

Mridul : Dont You have any ?

Me : [He asked me in a way as he had quite a Few] Nah !

Mridul : See ! This is my Girlfriend "Avantika"

Me : [I wasnt interesed in his Girlfriend as such except the Girl with That name] I peeped in...!

[ I was dumb struck...It was the same "Avantika" I had Known]

I told Mridul thats it such a small world.

Avantika my school time friend....

He called her Up..inorder to make her Talk to me...!

Yea ! I did Talk to Avantika after years and believed by my own very Ears that yes she can speak...!!

my heart Gave me a Thump as i heard a Sweet voice...going in my Ears as like Honey when You Taste it..except the Fact that My ears couldnt Taste it...!

But Yes they were sweet...and I was Just so Taken up......!!

I Dont remember much what happened Later after this Talk...!

-----

After I Reached Home...there was something that made me feel kinda depressed...sad...

Dont really know what that feeling was like..but it surely was related to "Avantika"...

I Couldnt Imagine her with somebody like Mridul or Rather I Didnt want that to happen....!!

Whenever I Saw Mridul I Thought of Avantika...

She had begun to Talk and Talk a Lot Now Really...so much as in to cause pain to one's Ears...!

----

I and Avantika Became Friends again..we used to Talk through cellphone or gtalk sometimes...

Mridul and Avantika Had Broken Up...and I Felt Sad when I Found her to be Sad..

She was like my best friend and I never did say to her That Avantika I like You..!

as I didnt wanna spoil our friendship...

Trust me there are lots of Guys and Girls who never say what they really want to thinking of ruining everything between them...!

and I am one of them...!

----------

[Presently]

I and Avantika are best of friends....

We fight

We abuse.

We Curse.

We Share.

We Help.

We Just keep our Friendship bonded in all conditions.

I just Pray that things stay this way between us.....!!

She is a Beautiful Girl..Innocent Face [still]...

Nice Hair and Small Eyes with lots to speak..and she SPEAKS a Lot....!

She is even better than Blondes at IQ....!!

She discusses to me about her Crushes..the Guys that Hit on her and Everything...

Yes ! She is my Girlfriend...but in Parts "Girl and "Friend"....

and She Knows i love her Like a Friend..thats how i want to keep it....!!

-----

Ankur : "Oye tu Sunn Raha hai ki nahi ??"

Me : [as if waking up] Haan be ! aur kya kr rha tha ? [with confidence so that he doesnt get a wrong impression]

Ankur : Yaar ! I wish I could say Everything to her...

Me : Yes ! Wo to hai..and shayad aisa hi hota hai yaar

[All this while Ankur Had been telling me his Story]

-Sms Beeps-

Its from Avantika.[Think of the Devil and the Devil is here]

and it reads like :

"Oye ! Mote tu mujhe bhul gaya na ???"

[I call her Moti,which doesnt mean we are out of shape]

[Girls and their Emotional ataychar].........

--------------------

Board Exams

2011-05-21T12:06:00.000-07:00

Walking across the road after my Mother asked me to get a few things from the near by shop..
I noticed to Guys talking about the board exams...
Board exams are ordinary exams just like every year we give to pass our classes but The Teachers..
act as INDIA TV and Blabber so much about it...that all we can think of yes ! Its damn tough...
and just like 2012's Earth quake...!!
Yes,they do matter for your life...but whats the point of not performing well and spending sleepless nights...
just of the mental pressure by the Parents and Society ?

[FLASHBACK]

My Class 10th Boards were the worst exams i had given till then...
I was a Good student being a Position Holder..you're assumed as a Good student anyway..
The Techers were disappointed by me...but Every single one of them knew what the reason was...and so did me.

.....Few Month Back to my Boards...

Juhi Had Left me after so many Years of being together...
I was alone as i was...
Its this point of time you're Friends give you a great company and make you feel especial..and that's what happened.
Naveen and Shirish became my Good Friends along with Manoj and Shanker...
Naveen was a Handsome looking Guy but not that Good in studies and so I was his best friend...
and Shirish was a Cute healthy short heighted Bengali Guy and was Good in studies...He was sent to Make us the "GOOD PEOPLE"..
Shirish never abused..and he used a "Sudharo" andolan..against the class...and he was happily committed to "HERMOINE GRANGER"..

Yea right..his Fantasy of HARRY POTTER...!

Two Girls made their Way in our School...Radhika and Pankhuri...

Pankhuri was a Cute Girl with short hairs..a little healthy...but all the more she had great cheeks to be pulled..and i found that cute...!!

Radhika was sexy..her eyes were always kinda red..and one thing about her she was nosy..attitude projected in her...

Radhika was made the Captian of her house after a few weeks of her admission and that amazed a few guys...

and she was one of the Girls of school..after whom Guys certainly were....

After Juhi left..I never thought of any other girl...

But School Friends and You being single..can never Happen..they'll get your Name associated with even the Helpers of the school...

and so was Me...!!

I was being associated with Radhika...the reason of that is all Guy's stuff...
Reaching Puberty every Guy Thinks of Things related to the Other Sex..and Mammary Glands being the best suited of them...

I had Bought a Cycle which my Dad being a little strict with his philosphies bought me the Cycle..mostly used by the milkmen..
and so i was named "Dhoodhwala"...and Rest you can understand being a Student at some point of life...

I was so not interested in Radhika...and I decided to Talk to her and tell her that there's nothing as such between us...as we had sometimes talked...

It was my Friends Birthday that day...and He was Giving me Treat..as I saw Radhika Cross the Road..
I Ran in-order to Talk to her...

I: Hey ! Radhika..

Radhika: Hey ! Wat ru doing here ?

I: Just Saw You Crossing the Road so came to help You..May b You needed some Guidence with it.

Radhika : [Gigling] sure.Tellme the Reason ?

I: ummmm..will Tell You...! Btw you're going home by walking today never saw you going like that ?

Radhika: Mom Has Gone out and me and Granny are only there..so I Have to go home like this !

I:[Thinking my friends will definitely make a story outta it so i should hurry]
Radhika ! Gimme Your Number.

Radhika: Umm..wat for ?

I: need to Talk to You about something.

Radhika: Okay ! She gave me her Number.

and I left saying her Good bye....!

Friends as usual..asked me..."Saale mil aaye ? kya baatein huyi ?"...

I am not gonna tell them that i got her number.

I told them nothing much....and changed the topic.[ Thats the best thing you can do to save your backside]

-----

I called her up..from my home phone number on her landline.

fortunately she picked up the call and we talked for about half an hour.

We discussed school,family and more importantly..that there's nothing between us.

We decided to "Be Friends" from then...

and talking to her i felt that she's not that bad ! as my Classmates accuse her to be !

and this "Phone Talk Process" Continued for Months.

----

I was sitting inside the Class.

*Knock at Door*

Teacher: Yes ?

Niti[ Radhika's classmate and friend]: Maam,Vice Principal Maam has called Nitesh !

I began to lose myself..why in the world has VP called me ? What did i Do ?

as i walked out of class...Niti started giggling and told me Radhika has called You.

I relieved.

I went to her class all her classmates were gone to computer Lab.

It was only Me,Radhika and Shankar [ in effect of Whitener]

This is How we Used to Talk in School..or used to meet before school as of our Remedial classes which i begun attending as she asked me for it...!

-------

I and my Classmate Gaurav Had become more than Homework Copy borrowers now as we lived quite close to My house.

Vaibhav my classmate another Guy who lived close to my House and Radhika's house had to become more than just a homework copy borrower Now.

Yes ! You got it I and Radhika Lived quite close to each other.

Gaurav was the kinda dialogue delivery boy and one of a kind.He never interacted with Girls and he never wanted to.

He became my best friend over the time.

We shared every damn thing with each other..leaving Girls and underwear.

Whenever i had to Talk to him about Radhika or if You Talk to him of any other girl.

he did come up with his Philosophies "Nitesh ye sab moh maya hai !!"...

and "Ye sab chorr do..sanyas le lo.Bhramacharya apno"...

God..I needed advice with things or someone who could just say "You're right"....

as things always are pre-determind...!!

-----------

I had gone to my friends place to hangout.

After i returned home things appeared changed....

MOM: "Whoz Radhika ?"

[When you're Mom gets to know of things its the worst time you've had untill she supports you being friends with Girls]

I: Mom ! she's a Friend.

Mom: Since when ru both talking ?

I: Umm...she must have called for some work.[Mind does work]

Mom: Does her Mom Knows about You both ?

[How on Earth should I know about it ?]

Mom Called her Landline and Told her Mom that We both had been Talking.

I just thought Wow !! Thats How things Had to be ENDED>...!

--

NEXT DAY.

Radhika: "Nitesh mom's going to come to school asking for "Nilesh"

I: My Name is Nitesh not Nilesh.

Radhika: Mom ! Had heard it has Nilesh.

I: Wow ! We can turn it up as Nitesh the Other One who left school.

[We had 3 Nitesh's in our school and Two of them had left]

Radhika: I am tensed.

I: Yea ! Mahabharat in Modern times will be fought today.

[We went for classes]

[lunch time]

I was going to get the Register for my Classteacher.

[I Saw Radhika's Mom]

I looked at her and then away.

Her Mom: Beta ! Lunch ho gaya na ?

I: Yes ! aunty.[Smiling]

My friend who was walking with me..as thats a rule in school..You never get out of your class Alone...no matter its drinking water or loo.

Friend: Saasu Ma ! Ka milan
I: Saale ! Chup aisa kuch nahi hai.

[I and Radhika were not in a relationship.We Just used to Talk]

after i got back...

a lot had happened..Kirti and Vaibhav had been inquired about "Nilesh"...

But None existed. !!

----

It was after that that I decided to Propose her.

She used to attend TIWARI TUTORIALS.

I decided her to visit her there and give her a Surprise and propose her.

----

Radhika was of the opposite section and our rival section.

Everyone except me was opposed to her.

Not a single guy of my class refrained from abusing her..but still i defended her...

and Every problem related to her..i handled it....!!

She was now the HEAD GIRL of the school..and her Nosy behavior was becoming a Reason of problems between me and my friends and i didnt like that.

They also told me that she was related to other guys too but i never did believe it...!

untill..............

----

I went to her Coaching that day..and waited for her class to get over.

She came out with some guys of her Batch.

as soon as she saw me..she got away from them and came to me.[IT WAS A BIG SURPRISE FOR HER]

I like my regular me : Who r those Guys ?

Radhika: Friends.

I: You never told me about them.

Radhika: I didnt feel like.

[I am a short-tempered person and so i left]

That Evening she called me up.

[Yea ! We still did talk on phone managing some way or the other]

Radhika: I am sorry.

I: [anger vanished] Its alright.

Radhika: I did like the surprise.

I: I came for a special purpose.

Radhika:and wat's that ?

I: I came to propose You.

Radhika: Already accepted.

I was Happy...and Couldnt Believe it...But I Really Was !!

---

It Has been Two Days Since we were committed.

Now ! The Mode of talking between us had changed..!

We reverted back to "Letters"...Like Good Old Fashioned ones.

Kirti my classmate and our common friend did the Job of Passing letters.

Kirti Gave me a Letter.

It Read:

Nitesh I Really Have to Talk to you about something and its important.

[I got tensed reading it and thought of all possible things which could Have happened]

I met her on Terrace after School.

Radhika: I am Sorry Nitesh ! But we Have to Break Up.

I: why ?

Radhika: Because my best friend Pankhuri Doesnt Like You and says You're not a Nice Guy.

[I had So started that cute looking Pankhuri Now]

I Couldnt say a Word I was so Taken up wid my Emotions.

I Never thought any such thing would Happen with me.

[A Voice heard]

We Turned Back at the stairs following the Class we were standing in.

It was our Computer Teacher.

Sir:What are you both doing here ?

We: Sir ! We Came to Take the Copies from the Cupboard.

Sir: I Know what Copies. Now Go.

[We Ran from there]

It all Happened in before my BOARD EXAMS...!!

I Cursed myself.

and the Hindi Movie flicks.

Which Show a Perfect Term after a Heart Break called as "Devdas"....

But I was not among them But I was Sad....!

Now ! Thats Wat Happens if You Have a Heart Break before a Big Exam.

[Present times]

Phone Flashing...

ANKUR CALLING......!

Ankur : Bhai ! Kal College chaloge na ?

I ; Haan ! Ofcourse kal chutti thodi na hai !!

Farewell

2011-05-21T12:05:00.000-07:00

I opened up my Facebook account in the Evening after coming back from College.
Had been a rough day,as always didnt do an assignment and the teacher told me all the ways by which
she can lower down my internals..and getting marks in UPTU is like make a Tortoise run Fast.
The Wall Was Filled up by Photos of some Girls on my Profile with their Farewell pics.
Farewell..the Only time of your School life when you feel like hugging the one you always thought of turning him up and kicking him hard !
Yea ! True Sentiments can give way to that and tears can roll down your very eyes..just seeing you're fellow class mates doing the same..
and like the whole school time thinking of one thing..
"Saala School life khatm..and main in kaminon ko shayad akhiri baar dekh rha hun"..
this is what school life is about growing up together for so many years and then leave...
just to get more Big...!!

Its sometimes,true that You tend to realize the worth of something or person when its no more there.

[FLASHBACK]

It was the Last day after our Annual Exams ended..and we had decided to Play Cricket in the field close to our school.
It was not about Exams..the Freedom..the Cricket Match...I was thinking of Juhi..
It was her Farewell Today..and all my Friends can understand the expression on my face..!
How often did one get to see me in a Serious Mood...? NEVER.

The Mind does a Lot of Work when You're really thinking of that someone special to You...and i am a Normal being too..
It wasnt Just a Crush.as it had stayed for years...and as any Hindi Flick Can tell You.."Its Not Just Friendship'...

I Love the way its said in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.."Pyaar Dosti Hai"...!

I and Juhi had been friends for years Now..No matter of what it was...we saw each other Daily..in the Lunch time and after school.

Juhi,is credited in my Life as the Girl who taught me how to Smile..as whenever I looked at her..there was this smile on my face...which just gave me a kinda pleasure and happiness...or kinda both !!

Standing in the Assembly and Checking out her Batch..just to get her Phone number...i was just remembering everything thinking of her...

In My Class Everyone knew of us and so did Girls of her class..knew that I had this Big Crush on her...

I have been a SRK Fan since my Childhood..and trust me there's nothing such as 'Ladki feelings samjhegi"...you gotta say it...

During these years I and Juhi were "Good Friends" and nothing else...as i always thought..she'll understand...!! [Screw me]

It was her Farewell today..and I always had thought of Proposing her on this very day...

The Plan was to Wait for her under the Tree we usually met as where the Bus comes and stops for her...

I would see her in a Saree today and just thinking of how she would Look in it ? made me wait for a Half an Hour.

But she didnt show up..when my friend came and told me..that she has already reached school...

I sat on my friends Cycle and went to school..trying to look for her...but i was told by the Gatekeeper..."JUNIORS NOT ALLOWED IN TODAY"...!!

I Thought of Seeing her after the Farewell gets over...!! [Mistake]

I went to the Field as where we were to play Cricket...my friends had been waiting for me...

I was Playing Cricket but my Mind was just keeping time....so that i can see her after her Farewell...

.....It was 3pm Now..and I took my Friends Cycle to Make way to School as the Farewell would b ending soon...

I padelling quickly enough to reach School..and suddenly...

*Thrashed by a Car*....I Fell off on the Road...

People Took me Up and asked "Theek ho beta ? Kahin chot to nahi aayi ?"...

I Had a Look at Myself..and as it wasnt paining...I took my cycle...and Reached School...

...as I Reached School...I could Hear the Silence..telling me the SHOW is Over Dude...!! You're Late.

I looked Up and said "You Can't Do This"....all I asked was may b a Last time...

Gatekeeper told me "saare bacche to Gaye"....

and I was taken up by Emotions...as i realized...that she would anyway go by Bus..

I hurriedly..pedalled the cycle..Carefully this time...to the Bus Stop...

But there was no one around....

I asked myself "Was it the Last time I Could Have seen her ??".....

But....

I did Meet her......!!

[Phone Ringing]

Ankur : "Bhai ! Meri File Banwa Dena"...

I: Haan ! Ho Jayega..Dont Worry...

Our Practical Exams are on..and I realized there are a lot more things than a FAREWELL....!!

Memories

2011-05-21T12:03:00.000-07:00

Exam time is mostly the time..when you Have You're Back Side tell You "Dude ! you're screwed"
All you think of is the Last minute view of the things you think is important and most likely to come in your Exam.
When you get you're Question Paper.its a moment you remember throughout ur day.
The Question paper comes with a jingle ..
"Tiding ! I am here and I Know thats Not Fair"....!!
Questions are mostly Easy and when you see sumthing that you crammed into you're Head last night..the Eyes light up saying " I Think I Know You"...
then We just jot Down The total Marks we r most likely to get in it..and if its More than the Required Passing Marks..we get a Signal "Job Done"...else
it remains "Exam was kinda Good" for when your Parents ask about it...!! Questions are mostly easy cause we r mostly familiar to it but the answers are all the more difficult..
But That Day it was different with me..I wasnt thinking of Exams,Marks or How will i Do in it..but sumthing else...You all Guessed it right my Friend..It was a Girl.
Her name was Juhi..My Friend Rohit had Introduced me to her.
Big eyes..long Hair and Simplicity with a Touch of Naughtiness all along just what's required to make a Guy have a Crush on you is all she possessed of.
She was my Senior in School..and i had this big Crush on her.Fair Enough Every Guy has it on a Senior Girl Most Likely.
Mohabbatein had Realised that Time around and she was of the Likes of Preeti Jhangiyani minus her zero figure she wasnt that skinny.
I was Kinda Nice Guy in school and She Gave way to my Thoughts...Evry Damned Guy in my Class knew about her...this is when one's Life Feels like a Devil laughing up on You..but Makes You smile when you think of it...!
Its Like for Every damn thing they take up her name and get their work done.It becomes more of a One Sided Win then.
Friend" Dude! Do this For meh"
I: Nah !
Friend:" Tujhe Uski Kasam hai"

[Bingo and Job Done] !!

ah !! Emotional Blackmailing can b a Nice Weapon sumtyms...m sure if used in World Wars..Most Wife Hating Men will Commit suicide !

School Used to be fun always especially the time after it and the Break Periods..how can i Forget that ?
There are things you begin doing especially after a Girl comes in Your Life.
Earlier..Recess as you may Know it..used to b full on Lunch time...but Now..open your Lunch and Shout of the thing you got till you're friends hear it and finish it off for You.
Walk down to her classroom just to See a Glimpse of Her...and Marvel at your Crush a little more.
Art was inside me and I used to Sketch a lot then and had been to various Painting Comptetions and i used to use it best Making Cards for her..and doing everything just to see that smile on her Face...!
Waiting for the Classes to end up so that we can walk up together till the main road and spend some time talking to each other...though after she left you have to follow a different way so that you can reach up Home.
[Alarms]
Mom Shouting "Get up ! College Nahi Jana Kya ??"...
Shouts from the third Floor thats where my room is...getting up.."aa raha'...
this is how a Day begins for me thinking of ..."Should i go to college today ??"[ damn ! College its 34 kms far frm my house]
all I go to college for is because i get to Ride my Bike which i Love to Ride..!
Yes,Bikes are a Better Girlfriend.

SHE

2011-04-11T09:27:00.000-07:00

The exams were coming near to me and WE guys,that includes me and my friends are always the COOL heads of the college,like the one’s you are already familiar with,coming late to classes,sitting at the back bench,gossipping more than taking notes are the few attributes of these COOL students…and so was ME…we are the Last day SCHOLAR’s…yea ! and I am proud of it…and one should be after all we do wonders in just one day,may be the wonder just looks passing for all of us…but it actually is…WONDERFUL !!

I was trying to study..the usual head scratching,with trying to wonder what the subject is about,and filled with questions like did the teacher actually teach this ? is it in course ? are the questions that come to every COOL head ! I’ll hi-five you later about it…!

Its just then a sms came in on my cell,with a number unfamiliar to me,I being a normal straight guy started to wonder of a beautiful girl texting me what we call as “wrong number”,the message looked like

“hey ! Rahul how are you ?”

With many questions filled in mind as in who’s behind the number ?,if she’s a girl ?........

The first thing you realize when it comes to text messages with a unfamilar number and you’re name in it,or even something else you just think its some friend playing prank and that happens 99% with the guys !! And thus,begins the “shudh-hindi” session..trying to locate all possible “matr-bhasha” words we learnt over the years,its then you realize how in love you’re with “Hindi”…!!

The other thing that happen 99% of the times with unknown number’s is that they wont receive your calls,giving all sorts of excuses via text-messages and its when you get sure of that its just a prank and you’re heart sinks back to normal !

That’s what happened with me,I tried calling but the calls were not received and I wasn’t being told the name,I then started avoiding the number !!

It was two days later,when I followed the famous “ignorance is bliss”,I got a call from the same number.

I started the hindi sessions again,and determined that if I heard a guy’s voice I’ll begin my recitation,as after ignoring the calls I got it that it would be the end of the prank session.

I in my firm voice said “hello!”

It was then I was flled words that appeared sweet for my appears,and due to my ears which became a diabetic patient as soon as the voice entered my ears..I said “hello !” again..just to confirm..if what I heard was true or not…I hate testing myself though…but I did it..for making myself sure…

“hey ! Rahul”…it said as firm and confident that I surely thought its for me...but it wasn’t as my name wasn’t Rahul,but still I said “Yes !”

I inquired for around an hour..until I realized it was some girl who got a number,from her friend( whose name was to be a secret)..her name was SONIA….had dropped her year for studying for IIT..god damn’t everyone knows that its just parents pressure..nothing else…and so was she…..

The phase for a girl and guy to get close is the same…the same late night talks,full day text messages,and when you think you know enough,it ends on a date,its where you mainly decide,where will it head to….!!

The exams were on..but being a cool student who cared ? afterall she waited for me till I finished my studies…!! The late night talks ranged from 2 am-to morning 5:30 am..and god know’s what all we talked about…! Yea but we did…the KNOWING YOU process lasted for about a month…and it was the day we finally met….

We were to meet at Waves as decided at around 5 pm..

I went to meet her ..and as I approched towards waves I already got three messages asking me “Baby,where are you ?”

As I reached,I saw a girl in white salwar suit,with wall hangings on her ears…she was appearing to be a girl full of simplicity and she was beautiful,like the one you always think of someone who can be simple and yet elegant…and it was her…!! I deicded to propose her just as I saw her…!

She was waiting for me outside waves….i confirmed again..if it was the same girl I am thinking to be…and so I called her up…and to my surprise..it was the same girl..the happiness reflects from face…and I could feel that happiness….!!

I took her to Marine drive..where I was talking to her..but in my mind I was rehersing of the ways of proposing her…

I looked in her eyes….as she was talking to me…I don’t know if I was guided by some angel or some magic…my hands stopped her hair that were flying with the wind…the times pace had slowed down and it was all happeing slowly,her face got magnified infront of my eyes..my voice had chocked…and I was still looking in her eyes,she was looking in my eyes too…my eyes were busy in the act of admiring the black shining pupil in her eyes..and I actually thanked my brain that I was still able to learn a few bilogical terms…and I said looking in her eyes..taken over by some heroism…I came up with something…yes and that something was really stupid until I realized it….

“Do you know why everything seems to be so still ?”

She still looking in my eyes..and made a picture of some funny idoit inside her head and slapping me a dozen times…said “No !”…

After saying what I said..i banged my head,in an imaginary wall..and cursed myself for being an SRK Fan for so long..i had to come up with something romantic..and I said…

“Baby,everything is so still,because like me the time,the wind and everything else seems to be in LOVE with you”.

She came up with a smile on her beautiful pink lips( I was seeing her smile and not her lips,mind you)…and seemed to be applauding at my self-composed may be romantic line..

I sat,looking in her eyes..and came up with a “what ?” after a minute…

She said “I smiled ! Don’t you get that ?”.

I have always been very stubborn…and I said..I want it to be said…but she was’nt saying it..

I am a short-tempered guy..and I stood up..deciding to leave…

It was then she held up my hand..and said “I love you too stupid !”.

To which I replied “ the name’s Rahul”(that was what she knew).

She then said “I love you Rahul”.

I smiled and so did she…and the day ended with eating ice-cream as we walked along the place together…shying or rather smiling…!

Days passed,with all lovie-dovie messages from the morning till late nights.

The fact about relationships is that in the earlier phase,the bond seems all strong ,you seem all drugged to your loved one,but as you’re relationship,gets stable..the love starts deteoriating…

But that was’nt the case with us…but yea,we got more full of responsibilites…and the word “Priority” comes into play and what do the other one actually mean to you..you get to realize in this self-reluctant phase.

AFTER A MONTH OF OUR LOVE RELATIONSHIP..WE WERE PRETTY HAPPY…..

I decided to tell her of my real identity as that of my name and everything,I didn’t tell her anything correct of myself…as the things started with just a causal thing..and now she means a lot to me I decided to be truthful to her…and tell her that I lied of my identity and I didn’t have any wrong intentions..it just happened.

I told her everything…and she burst out..crying….

The usual blames of “you broke my trust”..were thrown on me….and I told her calmly..that if she did come to know about it from any other source then she could have blamed me for it..rather than when I told her everything about myself….!!

The fight didn’t seem to end that night..suddenly I started finding my pillow wet,its then I realized that I can cry too…but she didn’t bother about it.

I asked her “did you love me or my identity ?”

She replied “You want to see me happy ?”

I certainly said “yes I do”.

To which she replied “ Never in my life call or text me again”.

The heart was in pieces,but I have always been a promise man..and so I did…..!!!

8 YEARS LATER…

Over these years I just realized,that it was just one of my promises I coud’nt keep….!

I used to call her whenever I used to miss her,from the public booth’s…and I thanked the government for making something of that kind for my help…!!

But never in my life,I became a DEVDAS or got inspired from it…I used to be happy and keep everyone near me and close to me happy..with all my efforts !

But she didn’t come back to me…..!!

I was going through a novel,when my phone flashed…I picked up the call….

As soon as I heard the voice,my ears again became a diabetic patient…..and I realized it was her…..

The tear gland became active without me having to signal it..i guess brain is really quick…

She said “Hey,Rahul…oh..sorry NITESH,how are you ?”

I replied taking her sarcasm” Fine as always”.

She said “ I called you up to meet me”.

My face became filled with happiness and enthusiasm and asked “Where ?”.

She said “My place,its my Engagement”

I smiled and said “ I will try”

She said “Good”.

I said “I’ll try my best not to come”.

She understood what I meant,and hung up…….!!

I called up all my friends for a party on 20^th Feb 2011….

All my dear friends came up..and asked for the reason of the sudden party…

I told them “I would tell them,after they finish up the treat “

All of them agreed to it…happilly..afterall it’s the tummy that matters first for everyone….!!

Everyone ate with all the capacity they could and some even tried eating for the next day….it was really fun to watch them eat and enjoy…!

After everything got over…they demanded to know the reason of the party…

To which I smiled and said “Friends SHE got MARRIED today !”…and EVERYONE knew who that SHE was in my LIFE.

That one feeling...

2011-03-24T01:49:00.001-07:00

That One Feeling...

Remember that one feeling when you looked up on the sky and a raindrop fell up on you and you tried to feel more of them ?
That Girl you waited for hours just to have a glimpse of her ? or that last glimpse of her when she was about to leave you to go home ?
That Feeling when you wanted to talk to your loved one but could not do so ? that storm that raged inside you when you couldn't help talking to your loved one ?
that one time when you were thinking of the past good moments between the two of you,as you remembered that spoken words by your loved ones which were more than just words for you ?

There are some feelings which you just cant explain in words....

Searching love in everyone and thinking she might be the one i could love and end up making a Great LOVE STORY...
but that would come to end on a note that he/she wasn't worth you !!

That Feeling when you feel insecure ? That Feeling when she's is right in front of you and you do something naughty or try making her smile ?
When happiness just meant one thing for You,and that's the Happiness of your Loved one...

We all see SRK expressing his LOVE romantically to a girl....Girls so "DREAM" about him...
but what Happens in a Film can only happen in a FILM only.

No girl,mind you NO GIRL,will be like the actress in any movie...

Let me talk of one of my favourite movie DDLJ,you all know the full form...

Did you see any other Guy in the whole movie before SRK hit on her with his CHEESY lines ?

A Girl could have ended up slapping SRK,when he was trying to CHIPKOFY in one of the tracks called "Ruk Ja O Dil Deewane"...
but that never happened...

She ended up Loving SRK...OK DONE !!

Now of KUCH KUCH HOTA HAI, who was the only guy in Rani Mukherjee and Kajol's life ?
Yes,You're right SRK....

They never talked to nay other guy and so the result also ended upon him.

Yes,there was SALMAN KHAN,but he could have never taken the place SRK had..after ofcourse she was hurt by SRK himself...

That can never happen in REAL life of course...

No Girl,I mean NO GIRL, can have just only ONE GUY in her life....!!

There's nothing such as TRUE LOVE or ONE LOVE...according to me...

One should have this MOVE ON type of Nature..I have loved this movie called ANJAANA ANJANI...
because of a few things shown in this movie...

Its when you realize that you DESERVE someone better...i mean you just cant be a DEVDAS for the girl you loved..and she didn't even care for you...
BULLSHIT....

You always will have opportunities..and its for you to make your own way of how you want to end up in your life...

I never want to say One word in my life and that's "IF"...if only..i had said this to her the,things between us would have been different..!!

Its not that its only the Guys who should say or do things..the Girls have this habit of keeping their thoughts to themselves ad when the guy switches them off...
they end up Blaming the Guy for everything..for it was the Guy who made you his FRIEND,the first step to everything...!!

Out of the numerous feelings one feels,most of them are noncommunicable...!!

Speak up,and let your Emotions be over you,for its not bad being emotional...but being without them !!

CHEERS....

1.The Realization.

2011-03-02T01:17:00.000-08:00

Ankita is all angry from me and it has been about a month since I last talked to her…..

Ankita, the love of my life yea she actually is.

You realize love, after it has gone out from your life and so did I after she is away from me.

I don’t really know of what she is angry for, but the reason is enough for her to not talk to me since then.

I am dying inside, just to talk to her but I can’t.

I can’t even contact her on her cell as I deleted her number from my cell in anger, I was so angry that I deleted her number even from the sim contacts…and I repent it now.

Ankita was my junior at school. She is what I call “Silent Killer”, yea that’s what I call her. She is a good listener to everything you say, but she never herself says anything herself. She prefers remaining silent. That doesn’t also mean that she remains dumb all the time. It’s just one side of her. When she speaks she speaks a lot, as if some volcano that remained silent and busted all together.

She’s tall just about my height, fair, stunning with simplicity that I simply marvel on. She has been a girl that I can’t stop thinking of and that completely shows of how much I love her. I love everything about her, her silence, her smile, her simplicty, her naughtiness….just about everything.

That doesn’t also mean that I love her 100%. I do hate her too. All those times when she never says anything when I want her to speak, all those times when she behaves as she’s not just to make me feel that she doesn’t care for me, but she’s the first one to call me up if I meet with an accident.

I have been missing her since a long time now.

Things don’t seem right when I ain't with her.

It was about a month ago, when she last texted me:

“I don’t trust you anymore. You can say I love you just to any girl, you’re the biggest flirt I met and don’t call or text me ever.”

I till now didn’t understand why did she say this? I didn’t do anything to hurt her nor I ever wanted to hurt her. But now she’s angry and hurt and I have been blamed for this and I don’t even know why?

I tried talking to her on facebook, but she blocked me on facebook.

I am dying of this urge of talking to her….but things just don’t seem to go my way.

When everything seems right, things start going left..and that’s how it is.

I don’t know why is god doing this with me, but I hate him for this.

Seems like everything I like or love, goes away from me someday….and that’s how it is happening…