A Grace and Mercy Life

When They’re Far From Home…Give Thanks

2012-11-20T11:51:00.003-08:00

Our son called from half-way around the world. He’s called my husband a few times, but this day…he called me. Say’s he’s doing well. Recovering from a cold. Enjoying his classes. Experiencing some cultural differences. Rode a bike to town on a narrow, worn road careful to move out of the way of cars. Grateful for the care package of cookies and potato chips he can’t get over there. So many questions I want to ask but mindful of the phone bill. We talk of things over there and how things are here at home. All the while I am marveling at how this boy grew up into such an amazing young man.

Just a few days before he left on his journey, it started to sink in. I mean really sink in. This child is leaving us. And he’s not just moving across town, or across the state, but across the globe. He’s reached the age of “branching out.” He towers over his dad and me. Facial stubble testifies to post-pubescence. But wasn’t it just a short-while ago that he was still a boy? Puberty causes rapid outer growth. But is the inner-boy-turned-man prepared? Is the boy still somewhere inside this frame of a man?

Worried he’ll forget this or that. Don’t lose your passport. We mean it. Don’t forget to call. Watch your budget. Keep an eye on your laptop. Don’t lose your passport. Seriously. Don’t. Perhaps the independence will grow him out of his forgetfulness. We can hope and pray.

And next thing you know, he’s gone. It’s done. He’s over there and doing his thing. He’s all grown up. But I open his closet to reveal the truth... It was just the other day that he was a pubescent boy. What remains is an amalgamation of past youth and emerging young adult.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. - 1 Corinthians 13:11

Coats, boots, caps and knives. A favorite blanket, an RC car, a cowboy hat and lariat. Awareness wristbands and a drawer-full of too-precious-to-part-with items.

And a safety harness. My husband says, “Its for working on a roof or other elevated structures. You tie off to a bracket. The rope is for how much line it will let out before it violently jerks you to a stop just before hitting the ground. Provided you calculated correctly.” Great. Growing up sure is scary…for a mom. Breathing a prayer for safety over him and gratitude for God’s call on his life.

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 3:14

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

Thankful God grabbed hold of this boy’s heart. Thankful for family, and church, and youth leaders that encouraged him. Thankful for God’s direction in his life. He’s grown and he’s softened as he’s matured. He has a heart for God and for people. He loves his family.

He’s turned into a thoughtful young man. Thankful he called his momma #2 from across the world. Thankful to be that momma.

Giving thanks for God’s grace and mercies; they are never ending.

Grace and Mercy to you this Thanksgiving Season...

Freedom through Forgiveness

2012-10-16T13:56:00.004-07:00

Over time, God gave me the grace to forgive him. Truly forgive. I no longer count his sins against him. I choose not to bring them up. Not to him. Not to others. I try not to even think about it.

I also asked him to forgive me. I received a vague response that sounded positive, but I wasn’t really sure if that meant he forgave me or not. After some recent correspondence and replies with bitterness and anger, I realized that he hadn’t forgiven me. So I asked again, said I couldn’t change the past and that I was sorry. He said he forgave me, not to worry. But in the next sentences, threw my past sins back in my face…again.

As far as the east is from the west…

Into a sea of forgiveness…

And yet, as tempting as you might think it would be to throw all his past sins back in his face, I was not tempted to do so. That’s when I knew I had truly forgiven him. Forgiveness does not mean that by some miracle you forget what was done to you. It doesn’t mean you make excuses for the other person. It doesn’t mean you weren’t hurt by it. And it doesn’t mean that you reconcile instantly every time. But it does mean that we give up our right to count it against them, or to keep bringing it up, or to try and punish them in some way.

If you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. – Matthew 6:14

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. – Ephesians 4:32 NIV

Forgiveness is the choice of the person who has been hurt.

But… that can be hard. Hard when the other person wronged you and you forgave them. Hard when they won’t forgive you back. Hard when they continue to persecute you and wrong you.

I so much want to set the record straight. But each time I try to defend myself, the backlash gets worse. It seems the least damage happens when I just keep letting them berate, accuse and gossip about me to others. Just keep letting them get away with it.

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. – Romans 12:19

When you feel like you can’t take it anymore, and are on the verge of being crushed into the dirt…remember that God loves you. He has a future for you. He is in control.

His will be done in my life. If He deems it permissible that I be persecuted, then I must trust in God’s perfect will to work all things for good. Trust that he can reverse, correct, turn-around and heal. I will lay down my pride, and breathe fresh comfort that He has buried my guilt and that my sins are covered by his blood. The enemy has been defeated and has no claim on my life - because my life belongs to Jesus.

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.” – Psalm 62:5 NIV

New Beginnings

2012-09-10T16:29:00.001-07:00

“It’s the first day of school. Are you excited?” Furrowed brows stare back at me. Another comes bouncing into the kitchen smiling and looking very well put-together. The other is still sleepily dragging himself ready. Anxiety and dread mixed with excitement and hope for the future. What will this year bring?

One is packing boxes to move to another place nearby. Leaving the old behind and starting a new life in a new place. Hope unfolds with anticipation of the unknown.

Another is packing for a long journey. A new adventure to an unknown land. Much anticipation. Much to learn.

One committed to serve for several years. Excitement, but surely some nervousness about the unknown as well.

Summer vacations over and schools beginning. Overnight, the highway is crowded with more cars. It appears everyone is geared up for a new season.

So much hope in the air. The future unsure. Greater things are yet to come. Change brings opportunity. A new season unfolds for each of us. A new season to learn and grow in Him. What lies ahead?

Remembering a famous quote, I don't know what the future holds but I know Who holds my future.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. “ Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:6 (NKJV)

My hope is in you Lord - for You hold my future.

Blessings of Grace,

Transitions

2012-08-31T16:11:00.002-07:00

Summer is winding down. Temperatures are already beginning to change. A few leaves have already started to fall from some of the trees.

The last few weeks have been a welcome period of rest. A time to decompress. A time to reflect on those things which God has given me and express my thankfulness.

That I am a child of God

The comfort of His Word

His sovereignty in my life and the lives of each member of my family

His peace that covers me when I am feeling persecuted

His love that fills me when I am feeling unlovable

Family

Friends

Rest

Warm days

Green grass, flowers, and freshly picked blueberries from the yard

The beauty of His creation

It has been a time to prepare ourselves for what is coming. Gearing up for fall. Leaves are turning colors, transitioning. School will begin soon. Some of our children are preparing for school while others are preparing to leave the nest. And a couple more leaves drop from the tree. Another is moving a little further away. Life changing decisions are imminent. Assisting those who are moving on while attending to those staying behind. So many things that seem to be of urgent importance. Conflicting schedules and priorities. Choices to be made. Seeking to balance it all. Is it even possible? Just thinking about it drains me of energy. The leaves dry and crackle and that’s how I feel. How do we manage all these transitions without wearing ourselves out - all dried up and crackled?

Our home will be shrinking in numbers. Can a house half-full feel empty? Barricading feelings of loss that are already starting to creep in. Loss of the status quo. Gone is the steady, stable and predictable. Now are the unknowns. Feeling left out and left behind and worries seep in. What will the future hold? Will they be safe? What if something happens? And where do we go from here?

The leaves turn color in preparation for what is to come. It is the ending of one season and preparation for the next. Fall begets winter and winter the spring. And the spring brings buds and blossoms and new leaves - new beginnings. A new season in life.

So the leaves that turn must drop and move on to make room for the new that is to come.

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest…

Another leaf falls from the tree. And before you know it, they will all be gone.

But there is hope for the future…

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. “ Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. Psalm 143:8 (NIV)

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 (NIV)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6 (NIV)

Grace and Mercy to you,

Return from a Respite

2012-08-21T14:52:00.001-07:00

Our family has returned home after spending a week away in rest and relaxation. I am grateful for the opportunity I had to unplug. No tv, radio, or internet. We had our cell phones but (most) didn’t use them much. It really made me see how much time these modern-day conveniences, which are supposed to save us time, actually take up. And to really get away from routine. It was restful, relaxing, refreshing, and rejuvenating. Giving thanks for:

Getting up when it is light. Eating breakfast together.
Putting our feet in the river (or going all the way in!).
Walking the dog.
Going on bike rides.
Reading the Bible.
Peach shakes.
Spending time with family and close friends.
Taking naps when you feel like it.
Warm weather and sunshine!
Taking the kids to the water slide park.
Slowing down.
Playing Farkle in the pop-up tent.
Exploring a new city.
Reading Leviticus.
Eating snacks for dinner.
Sitting in camp chairs and talking with each other.
Going to sleep when it’s dark.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

“My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Exodus 33:14 (NIV)

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26 (NIV)

“Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.” Psalm 61:1-4 (NIV)

“My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” Psalm 62:1-2 (NIV1984)

~ Rest in His Grace

When trials come…It is Well with My Soul

2012-08-08T08:35:00.000-07:00

Anxiety weighs down the heart,
but a kind word cheers it up. Prov. 12:25 (NIV)

~ Thank you my dear friend, J, for your encouraging words and affirmations!

I am so thankful for my friend who checks in on me from time to time. And shame on me for not checking in with her more often! And this time she reaches out finds me at a time of turmoil.

As we are preparing to get away with the family for a week, I am juggling tying up loose ends at work, family needs, and to-do lists to mark off, and teenagers and emotions, irrational appeals and moodiness, and praying for all these in our care. Praying for patience for myself and His grace to flow through us to them. When we are feeling ourselves become weaker, isn’t that when it comes? Like the lion who preys upon the weak to devour. And for me it comes in the form of personal attacks against my character. Against my own Christianity. When I feel like I am being portrayed as some awful, evil person and then I slip into the trap of believing it and start questioning who I am, my faith, my past sins and forgiveness and just what kind of Christian do I think am?

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Matthew 5:11-12 (NIV)

I am reminded of who I am in Christ. I am forgiven. I have been redeemed by my heavenly father. I have been transformed and have chosen to live my life for Him. Every day, I endeavor to filter my decisions through His Word. And I remember that my life is in His hands. Even this situation. I give it over to Him and release it and trust Him to take care of it.

But it still gets me down sometimes. It’s like being on a rollercoaster. I feel down, then I take a deep breath, look up to the heavens and release it back to God. Trust in Him. Hours pass and I feel anxiety creeping back in. Or catch myself wallowing in self-pity again. Breathe a prayer. Release. Trust. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

My friend in Christ, in whom His Word dwells richly, writes words of encouragement to me. Words that resonate with my spirit.

“The first thing that hits me is it's an attack of the enemy and I'm sure when you're feeling 'up' you see this too. I'm basing this on common sense and hopefully a little wisdom. “ Wisdom.

Because she’s been there before too.

“There have been at least a couple situations … where we learned that it was God/Holy Spirit leading the situation and guiding the circumstances … for one reason or another. We just didn't see it cause we try to find human ways of giving reason instead of just simply not having peace and being led by the HS (Holy Spirit).”

I prayed thatGod would convict me about this decision, if I am just being stubborn. Hours later after pouring through Proverbs, my gut-check still tells me the same thing. God gave parents the natural inclination to protect our young. Keep seeking. Trust God. Use common sense and wisdom. Do not dwell on the words of those who speak ill of you. Rest in the peace of the Holy Spirit’s leading.

Giving thanks through all of this. Because through this, I am brought back to the One on whom I depend. It is through all this ugly mess that I recognize my ~~daily~~ ~~hourly~~ moment-by-moment need for Him. And His grace is sufficient each and every time.

And these words keep singing in my head…the words written by a man who lost his son at the age of 4, was ruined financially after being a successful lawyer, lost four daughters on a ship that sunk (his wife was spared), and later lost another son. As he traveled to meet his grief-stricken wife, he wrote these words as his ship passed near where his daughters died:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
when sorrows like sea billows roll;
whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
let this blest assurance control,
that Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
and hath shed his own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

And, Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
the clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
the trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
even so, it is well with my soul.

It Is Well with My Soul ( Horatio Spafford)

Grace and Peace to you,

When You Need a Little Wisdom

2012-08-08T08:30:00.000-07:00

It’s 2 am and I gradually realize I am awake. There was no sudden noise or bad dream. Just a gradual increasing of consciousness. I open my eyes but the room is still dark. I can barely make out the shape of my husband sleeping next to me, the dresser and chair. Thoughts of the past few days start flooding my mind, anxiety creeping into all the corners. Lord, I don’t want to stress about this now. Please take these thoughts from me so I can sleep. But sleep slips further out of my grasp as full consciousness takes over.

My mind hits the rewind button. My child who wants a decision from me. A decision that she “knows is from God because she feels it so strongly.” But she is young and immature in her faith. How do I explain it to her? Without discouraging her faith in God? Without crushing her spirit? That strong feelings don’t necessarily mean it’s from God. We experience a lot of strong feelings at times. Love, joy, peace, excitement, anticipation. And the other side of feelings…loneliness, sadness, anger, hatred, jealousy, and just…selfish desires. Things we really want. Maybe not bad, in themselves, but not good for us either.

Lord, I know what the answer is but she is not going to want to hear it. She is being driven by outside influences, inward needs and desires, and emotions. But I can’t make parenting decisions based on the shifting emotions of an adolescent girl. I have to make decisions based on facts, common sense and Godly wisdom.

Father, help your daughter, this mother with Your wisdom.

I will my tired body up out of bed, pull on my robe, and quietly tread into the den so as not to wake up my husband. I pull the Bible I’ve had since I was a young teenager off the shelf and slink into a chair.

I prayed that God would convict me about this decision, if I am just being stubborn.

I open to a Psalm and read. It soothes me some. Father, I need Your wisdom. I turn to Proverbs. Proverbs 1:1. As my mind takes in the words, certain verses jump out at me. I pull a legal pad off the desk and write them down. As I continue reading, more and more verses make their way to my notepad. Exortations to embrace wisdom. That if we seek for understanding and value it as silver, then we will understand the fear of the Lord and the knowledge of God. Wisdom bestows well-being. That we should guard our heart for everything we do flows from it. Give careful thought to the paths of our feet. How hatred stirs up conflict but love covers over all wrongs.

Good people obtain favor from the Lord,
but he condemns those who devise wicked schemes. Prov. 12:2 (NIV)

Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. Prov. 13:24 (NIV)

There is a way that appears to be right,
but in the end it leads to death. Prov. 14:12 (NIV)

The simple believe anything,
but the prudent give thought to their steps. Prov. 14:15 (NIV)

A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger. Prov. 15:1 (NIV)

Folly brings joy to one who has no sense,
but whoever has understanding keeps a straight course. Prov. 15:21 (NIV)

To humans belong the plans of the heart,
    but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue.
All a person’s ways seem pure to them,
    but motives are weighed by the Lord.
Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
    and he will establish your plans. Prov. 16:1-3 (NIV)

Gracious words are a honeycomb,
sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Prov. 16:24 (NIV)

--- 5:30 am now and I put my pen down having read the entire book of Proverbs and filling seven pages of a lined yellow paper with verses.

I quietly crawl back in bed and quickly fall back asleep with a little more peace in my heart.

Grace and Peace,

Graceful Forgiveness

2012-08-02T12:21:00.002-07:00

When I think of the many poor choices I have made and the consequences of those choices – it is easy to wallow in self-condemnation. But I also think of the grace God has lavishly washed over me. Forgiven my sins. Cleansed those stains. Made me white as snow. I am forever grateful and indebted to Him and endeavor to show my gratitude for His grace by giving that grace back to others. When others speak harshly to me, judge me, criticize or speak ill of me to others – what can I do but show grace…and forgive?

Forgive even when it is not asked of me.

Feel compassion as I needed compassion. As I still need compassion - daily.

And this is a hard road... To be tough-skinned but tender-hearted. To daily battle my selfish will that wants to protest against those who are against me. Who hurt me. But God loves them, you, and me. What would Jesus do? He would show love to all, in spite of all our ugliness inside. Our selfish need for retribution. You know that feeling you get when someone “gets what they deserve?” When we inside quietly smile an ugly smile… instead of feeling compassion? To daily forgive and not hold it against someone – to not wish them ill. To the believer and non-believer alike. Because we are all people…

All human. All sinful. All fallible. All prone to selfishness.

Sometimes we have people in our life that wound us again and again and we can’t always avoid them. We can’t just avoid our family, people we work with, or certain friends. And shouldn’t that make it easier to show grace? We know we will need to give grace so we should be prepared…but we don’t always know when that shoe will drop. We drop our guard. And then it happens. What is our first quick response? Anger and indignation? Or is it Grace?

Oh, that I would always be prepared to be quick to return the hurt with grace. Because isn’t that what He is about? He is ALWAYS ready to love us, forgive us, and show grace to us.

Let us not just give grace to others, but lavish grace on them just as God has lavished us with His grace.

Loving Beyond Limits

2012-07-27T07:00:00.000-07:00

Because we all need to love one another better...

http://www.oneplace.com/devotionals/niv-devotions-for-couples/niv-devotions-for-couples-week-of-july-4-11673115.html

Living Daily with Gratitude

2012-07-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

When I am feeling overwhelmed with life, I think of my friend, J. She is very dear to me. We don’t get to see each other as often as we used to, and yet she encourages me nearly every day through her social media postings. She has been such an example for me to follow spiritually. Her life exemplifies living daily with gratitude. It’s not that life is any easier for her than for you or me. We’ve shared similar experiences. The pain of divorce. The trials that come with parenting with a former spouse, remarriage and blended families, being a stepmother and having stepchildren. Difficulties in marriage and just life in general. But through it all, she remembers that her life is not her own. She has mastered the art of savoring, reveling, and appreciating every moment in life that God has given her. Do we wait for those big moments before we express our thanks for them? Or are we finding gratitude in all the little things? Even in some of the imperfect moments, if we try hard enough, we can find something to be thankful for.

Some expressions of gratitude from my friend just in this last month…

It was a perfect day!

I just LOVE this girl!!! I am blessed to be N’s Mom :)

Almost done with school supply shopping.... For 4 kids - oh YEAH!!!

Let date night begin!

Hubby and I just duked it out over a package of fruit mentos. There are Mentos everywhere.

One giant perfect moment!!!

Thankful 'Mr. Mom' had dinner all ready when I got home from work tonight. Chicken Enchiladas from scratch! Good Job Dad!

With the crew on a cold, grey, rainy summer day after church. Perfect.

Just left the Ywam bookstore, bags loaded... Kids already reading on the way home. Let the summer reading begin! Thank you Pastor C :)

Drinking coffee, at Starbucks, with sun in our eyes. Perfect moment

Grilled Filets, baked potato, sourdough bread...

Mr. Dad aka Awesome Boat Fixer!

Soooo thankful for this church!!!

*Thankful*

Enjoying my coffee time!

It's good to be HOME!

Currently living this out day by day... it's scary and wonderful all at the same time. I'm so thankful for His hands that 'hold us'.

It's Summer!

No matter how much chaos its good to know we're in the midst of a miracle.... Amen.

This is my coffee this morning... perfection.

How can so many things go wrong and right all in a 24 hr period? Thankful anyway... God is good!

All is quiet at this moment on this beautiful, sun-shiney, mercy filled morning. Change can be difficult but when you know its what God asked of you, there's nothing better! Thank you, Lord, for a brand new day!!!

Today, I am thankful for the sunny day, steady employment for our household, the youth conference next weekend for our teens, a vehicle that sold, our comfortable home, and God's grace to give me strength daily.

What are you thankful for today?

The Battlefield for the Hearts and Minds of our Children

2012-07-23T13:57:00.002-07:00

I am not in this battle alone. I am trusting God. Sometimes I don’t feel that I am, but I am saying it and affirming it in my heart. I am letting God fight my battles and praying for God to triumph over this battle.

When emotions are being pulled in a direction that goes against logic and sensibility. Praying that God will pierce through the confusion and help them think clearly. That minds would be captured by God’s heart and will, and not by their own desires. That His good and perfect will would prevail.

That they would come to see the truth on their own, by God’s will and not my own doing. Not me trying to coerce, or plead and so undermine the truth by my own inadequacies.

"Many bad choices are made simply because we move through the decision-making process too hastily, basing our conclusions on emotions, bad information or impulses. The only basis for really good decisions is correct thinking. This kind of wisdom comes from above and is given to us through four primary avenues – God’s Word, God’s Spirit, God’s Providence and God’s people. In other words, to ensure good decision-making habits, we must be people whose minds are consistently being renewed by God’s Word. "

And how do we take the trials in life and find the good out of them? We hurt and we cry, but we must be thankful for every moment we have on this earth. Each moment is a gift given by God for He is good and loves us so much.

Days that hurt and many of them: we all must lament — when you must cry but never deny the goodness of God.

And if you always turn toward His grace, the bullets and barbaric of this world cannot.touch. you. And you’ll only become more beautiful, and His grace alone will turn you around and carry you right out and beyond all the ugliness of this world. I promise you this

Why let one hurt fill your whole horizon — when right behind you God gives one thousand gifts to fill your whole life?

Thankfulness in the Midst of Trials

2012-07-16T16:20:00.002-07:00

Oh, life can be so messy, complicated, and full of trials and disappointments! When I focus on those things too much, they become magnified. Sometimes that’s all I can think about. I get disheartened and maybe even depressed. It would be easy to let it go too far, and today I almost missed out on the little gift of God’s grace that he sent to lift my spirits and put a smile on my face. It was just a little message but I got it. And it reminded me to focus on God’s goodness to me and how much He cares about me. I don’t need to worry about this trial. He is in control. As hard as it sometimes is, I am going to choose to focus on what I can be thankful for today…

Salvation
Family
Health
The love, encouragement and support of my husband
Messages from my daughter
This beautiful sunny day!
My dear friend who every day exemplifies gratitude in the little things – You are an encouragement to me as well!

In the midst of trials, what are you thankful for today?

Modern Day Pharisees

2012-07-09T13:32:00.000-07:00

The Pharisees were members of an ancient Jewish religious group who followed the Oral Law in addition to the Torah and attempted to live in a constant state of purity. In reading about them in the Bible, we learn that they so focused on the letter of the law, that they forgot God’s heart of the law. While they were outwardly making displays of how they followed the law, their hearts were far from Him. Thinking that I could perhaps use a spirit-check - couldn’t we all? To make sure we have not unknowingly slipped into a modern day version of the Pharisee?

“They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger. They do all their deeds to be seen by others.” Matthew 23:4-5

“Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.” Luke 18:10-14

It is from these kinds of stories that the word “Pharisee” has taken on another definition in the dictionary:

2. self-righteous or hypocritical person: a self-righteous, hypocritical, or sanctimonious person

And sadly, how many times does the world refer to Christians with this definition? Is it any wonder so many want nothing to do with us? Oh, that I would not act or speak in such a way as to be seen as self-righteous. Lord, fill me with your grace that overflows from my life to others.

Now I know there are a lot of very graceful and loving Christians out there who do not fit this description. But there must be enough of us who do fit it, to cause so many to be turned off by our testimony.

Why do I judge?

Do I have a right to judge/condemn/criticize others? Especially my brothers and sisters in Christ? When I truly examine my own heart and seek God, the answer starts to surface. “Why am I getting so bent out of shape about this?” Look beyond the surface of my feelings to the real reason… deep down. Am I being self-righteous? I think hard about this. Am I?… Why? Am I trying to convince myself (and others?) that I am righteous? That I am better than them? That I am good enough? To make ourselves feel better – because deep down we know the awful ugliness in our own hearts.

Pride. Ego. Anger. Bitterness. Resentment. Unforgiveness. Envy. Jealousy. Selfishness.

We get upset when others don’t live up to our expectations. When really we should focus on living for God and encouraging others - rather than tearing them down. Nitpicking on things that don’t matter. Things that aren’t eternal. That we would show more grace when people make mistakes, make poor choices (for those who are not as perfect as we are!) As for the things that do matter, things that are eternal, do we think judging them will woo them into the kingdom of God? “But I must make them aware of their sin so that they can repent!” The old saying still holds true – you can catch a lot more flies with honey than with vinegar. Let us build relationships upon which people will want to hear words of truth. We must invest in their lives with our time and friendship, building a foundation of trust and mutual respect.

I cannot see clearly to take the sliver out of another’s eye until I remove the log from my own eye. (And lest we think we have removed the log from our eye so as to justify us to remove the sliver from our neighbor’s…) Is my log ever really gone? Or does the removal of it just reveal another? Layers upon layers of logs and slivers needing attention.

Before I speak a critical word, may I remember to be an example by living simply with grace and mercy. Remembering that just as God in His mercy forgave me in all the ugliness of my sin, I too, need to extend mercy to those who might seem undeserving.

Let us lavish each other with graciousness, encouragement, mercy and love, using gently spoken words - words of life and not death. Remembering that it is God who leads them to repentance, and not us.

More Verses:

Five Minute Friday: Things That Make My Heart Dance

2012-06-29T16:05:00.000-07:00

I'm joining the Gypsy Mama today for Five-Minute Friday. Write for 5 minutes flat on the prompt: “Dance” with no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

Go....

Things that make my heart dance

Feeling at peace with God

The touch of my husband’s hand on my back while we worship in church

Seeing our sons’ dedication to taking care of God’s house

A warm sunny day

Hugs from my kids

My stepson’s humor

The secret surprise that’s coming in two weeks…

Seeing my kids make wise choices

My husband’s love for me

Stop

The Sin of Compromise

2012-06-26T15:59:00.001-07:00

Compromise can sound like a good word. When two people can't agree on something, they might find a middle ground and compromise. And sometimes, that might be the best solution. But when it comes to our faith, compromise is never a good thing. Every time I have compromised my faith, I come away stained.

'If you put on a pair of clean white gloves on a rainy day and then go out into the backyard to the flowerbed and pick up a glob of mud, trust me, the mud will never get "glovey." The gloves will definitely get muddy. Every time. In all my sixty-plus years on earth, I have never seen glovey mud.' - Dropping Your Guard, Charles Swindoll

Consider the company we keep. If our "gloveyness" is not rubbing off on their "muddiness," then perhaps we have become muddied ourselves.

"Do not be deceived: 'Bad company corrupts good morals.'"
1 Corinthians 15:33

The company we keep and the daily choices we make, may seem insignificant, but it leaves a stain on our character that pierces through to our soul and separates us from God. I feel it in my spirit when I am at the foot of the cross. The mud of my guilt covers me and I see my selfishness and failings.

"Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. ²And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."

Romans 12:1-2

Oh, I see so many ways I have allowed compromise into my life. Seemingly small and insignificant compromises, but they have dug a jagged barb into my soul, clutching, seizing, trying to snatch me away from my Redeemer.

Would you pray this with me today?

*Father, we repent of every grey area in our lives - every area of compromise evident in our thought processes, motivations, desires and passions of our hearts. We repent, and ask You for forgiveness in Jesus' name. Dig DEEP within us, and remove every ROOT of COMPROMISE from within us. Speak to our hearts and REVEAL the specific areas in our lives where we are compromising Your TRUTH.

(And this is a hard prayer…)

Help us to let go of everything that You require of us, even those things which are not evil, but will simply hinder us from walking in the FULLNESS of Your presence and Glory.

We renounce selfishness, pride, arrogance, lust and the rebellion of compromise in Jesus' mighty name.

We speak life to the Spirit of submission, surrenderance, and obedience in Jesus' name. Father, let these pure virtues rise up within us.

*Paraphrased from: A Prayer of Repentance and Warfare Against the Sin and Spirit of Compromise

A Weekend of Graces

2012-06-25T16:06:00.003-07:00

Reuniting with old friends

Gentle reminders of holy living

A written "Love you!"

A celebration of a half-century of marriage

The laughter of family and friends...

A Father's Day Tribute

2012-06-17T12:35:00.001-07:00

In honor of my husband, who is an amazing father and stepfather to all of our children. For all the things you do: homework helper, guidance counselor, trainer of boys to young men, financial counselor, patient trainer of young drivers, Mr. Fix-it, secret-keeper, purity ring accountability man and protector of our daughters. Patient, level-headed, stable, faithful, long-suffering, strong, responsible, hard-working, provider, loving family man.

“Fixes our bikes.”

“Brought home cool storage boxes to put all our stuff in.”

“Makes the yard pretty.”

“Was a W.A.T.C.H. Dog at our school.”

“Provides transportation for us and takes us where we need to go.”

“Works hard to support our big family.”

“Does projects around the house.”

“Makes yummy dinners.”

“Didn’t get rid of the cat he doesn’t like.”

“Supports us kids in doing well in school.”

“Makes AWESOME cheesecake.”

“Took us to Disneyland!”

I am blessed and ever thankful for the gift God has given me in my husband.

Happy Father’s Day to him and fathers everywhere.

Giving Back the Reins

2012-06-15T13:57:00.000-07:00

Lord, please forgive me. I have allowed the busyness in my life to crowd out time for you. Is it any wonder I feel a bit disconnected and floundering without direction? So many things going on and did I ask you to help me set priorities? Shamefully… no. I’ve been holding the reins again. Please….would you take them back? There are so many responsibilities to be attended to but only so many hours in the day, and a limited amount of energy in my body.

As I look down at the invisible reins, and slowly loosen the tight grip which has cramped my hand – my spirit – I envision the marks left behind. Deep impressions of the burdens I was holding onto so tightly carved into my soul. Have you noticed when you hold on to something tightly for a long time, it hurts to open your hand? It’s a painful realization that I have been holding on too tightly and too long. Holding the reins takes a toll on one’s body, mind and spirit. I am weary and drained. I have lost focus on the things that matter.

I raise my hands a little. Fingers curled open – to let go. To offer it back to the One who can handle it. For Him to take control again. Why would I want it? It requires unlimited physical and mental strength I do not possess. Wisdom beyond what I have. Knowledge of things unseen by me. He has all these things and more.

You mercifully forgive. It is by grace, a gift, that You gently lift the reins from my hands. Relief. Merciful relief. And I can rest in the safekeeping of Your will.

How much simpler it is to simply come to You each day with thanksgiving and present my needs to You. You know the tasks. You know the circumstances. You know the seen and unseen. May You prioritize and direct my day. Each and every day.

The Issue of Respect

2012-06-12T16:56:00.004-07:00

To whom do we owe respect? First and foremost, we owe respect to God. Do we esteem Him? Do we defer to Him the proper acknowledgement of who He is? Do we truly follow Him? If we want to call ourselves followers of Christ, we should avoid violating His laws and his will for us. How often do we go through our daily lives, hardly giving a thought to God until we need him desperately and then call on Him to come help us. Is that respect? It is in those desperate times that I am most aware of the inadequacy of my reverence to God.

There are others we should show respect to. Our employer, police, our president and public officials (regardless of your political beliefs, respect the office being held.) The Bible clearly tells us to honor our parents and those in authority over us.

But the one that has been weighing heaviest on my heart lately, is the respect that women should show men. Especially a wife’s respect to her husband. A sensitive issue, I know. But I think it is largely misunderstood. And if we want to change this feminist I’m-just-as-good-as-any-man-or-better culture of attitude into one that God has ordained, shouldn’t we start with our daughters? They need to see respect for men modeled for them. And we must be careful about our words. I’m finding that even young girls have already had seeds of disrespect for the opposite sex sown in their lives. Maybe through their own mother, another relative, or a bad experience with their father or other man in their life.

I, of all people, have every reason to have lost respect for men, from a worldview. I was treated very poorly in a previous marriage. But somehow, by God’s grace, I still know how important it is to show men proper respect. And He helps me catch myself when I stray from how he wants me to treat my husband. But more than that, I want to respect my husband. He is an honorable, hard-working man who makes it easy to respect him. And if others disrespect him, I get indignant. He is my husband whom I love, whom God has put in my life and in a position of authority as a man, husband, and father, and he deserves respect.

Mary May Larmoyeux wrote an article about 15 things wives should stop doing. Of those, at least half are rooted in respect.

Some gleanings of grace from Mary May Larmoyeux (italics mine)

1. Stop thinking that your way is the “right” way. If he does something differently, it does not mean that it’s wrong. When a wife insists on having her own way, she is in essence saying, “I have to be in control.”

And maybe he’s hearing, “You’re wrong,” or “That’s dumb.” Oh, that I would never cause my husband to think that.

2. Don’t put others before your husband. God designed companionship in marriage so that a husband and wife can meet one another’s need for a close, intimate, human relationship. He even said in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good that the man should be alone.”

So what happens when you put your mother, a friend, or even a child before your spouse? Actually, you take a step (often unintentional) toward isolation in your marriage. If you choose, for example, to spend an afternoon shopping with your mom when your husband asked you to watch a football game with him, you may leave hubby feeling that he has second place in your heart.

When we get married we don’t stop being a daughter, sister, aunt, niece or friend and it is important to keep those relationships strong. But when it becomes out of balance, you risk creating a great divide in your relationships.

4. Don’t dishonor your husband. Suggestions included: Stop all nagging and don’t correct hubby in front of others. If you finish your husband’s sentences, you may be unintentionally communicating, “I don’t really care about what you have to say.”

Oh, this cuts to the quick. Have you mastered the art of interruption like me? Our kids are becoming experts as well. But it is something I have noticed in all of us and it is my goal to call myself out on it, as well as the kids. Fortunately, my husband makes it easier for us to notice what we’re doing as he stops mid-sentence and just stares at the offending party.

5. Stop expecting your husband to fail you as your dad failed your mom. “I spent many years waiting for my husband to give up and walk out on me, like my dad had years earlier,” said one friend. Her unfounded fears had robbed her marriage of much joy.

May we never allow Satan to use our bad experiences as an excuse for our bad behavior and lack of respect.

6. Don’t put your husband on the defensive. For example, if you are driving around a section of town looking for a restaurant and he’s obviously lost, does it really help for you to tell him that he’s been going around the same block for the fifth time? One wise wife said that she’s learned to be quiet in situations like this. Now, before she makes a comment, she weighs her words—asking herself: “Are my words needed? Would they be encouraging?” Proverbs 10:19 says, “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”

In other words, I should bite my tongue more. What did mom teach us? If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

9. Don’t make your husband earn your respect. Many women think, I’ll respect him when he earns it. But there’s a reason that Ephesians 5:33 says, “Let the wife see that she respects her husband.” As one friend said: “If women could learn to understand that respect is a man's native tongue, that it absolutely heals his heart and ministers to him like nothing else, it would make the biggest difference in the world.”

Every man certainly must have some qualities that you can respect. Look for those. Appreciate and encourage them in those qualities. If you can’t think of any, pray for God to reveal them to you.

13. Put an end to taking the lead because you think he won't take it. “The first many years of our marriage,” one wife said, “I would see what needed to be done and get frustrated that my husband would not take charge and get it done.” She went on to say that she’s changed by learning to wait on her husband’s leadership. “I really believe,” she says, “that our men don't lead because we women are too quick to jump in and take care of it all.”

Ephesians 5:23 says, “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body … .”

(For more gleanings from Mary, visit http://www.familylife.com/about-us/biographies/featured-authors/mary-may-larmoyeux)

A final thought...respect is NOT about being a doormat, submitting to evil, or abuse. If you are experiencing these, please do what I once didn't, and seek counseling. While I am not a counselor, I have a heart for you. You can contact me by comment or e-mail at agraceandmercylife@gmail.com and I will do my best to point you to some Christian resources.

I welcome comments seasoned with grace.

Scriptures on Standby (Dennis Rainey)

2012-06-07T16:23:00.000-07:00

A bit of grace from Dennis & Barbara Rainey...

"But his delight is in the law of the LORD. . . . He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water. PSALM 1:2-3

As our children grew up, Barbara and I decided that we would “embed” Scriptures in our children’s lives. We did this so that they would know how to make right choices in tempting circumstances. God’s Word has a way of bearing fruit at just the right time, proving that it is living and active. For example, as we read the Scriptures when our children were preteens, we started rehearsing different situations they would likely face later: What should a girl say to a boy who wants to park with her late at night? What should a boy do if a girl becomes sexually aggressive and starts making moves on him? We worked on making topics like these part of our regular conversation as we read the Bible and discussed how it intersected with real life and real decisions.

This came together one day for our daughter Ashley when she was 13 and found herself in a situation with a boy she liked as a friend. He told her he wanted to kiss her. “Well, I’m not going to let you,” she replied. Undeterred, he shot back, “Well, I’m going to do it anyway.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am.”

Finally, Ashley looked at him sternly and said, “You are not going to kiss me, because you are like a reed blowing in the wind, and I am a steel pole set in concrete.” Not an exact quotation of Psalm 1, but close enough to let this guy know that her God had weighed in on this situation. Do you want your children prepared to be able to withstand temptations? Embed the truth of God’s Word in their hearts.

DISCUSS

Talk about how you can do a better job of relating Scriptures to the issues your children are facing today. What are the best times of the day or week to embed the Scriptures in the lives of your children?

PRAY

Ask God to burden you with training your kids in His Word and to give you wisdom to know how to do it."

May the grace of God's word guide you today...

Prayers that Bind & Loose and go Unanswered

2012-05-31T10:44:00.000-07:00

“Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven” Matthew 18:18

If you are praying about something, or someone like your husband, children, or friends, think of this verse in terms of binding or loosing that issue.
If we are binding something, we are preventing or stopping some evil thing or influence in their life.

If we loose something, we are allowing what is good to enter into their life.

As followers of Christ, we have a direct line to God who hears our prayers. And we have authority in Jesus name to pray this way.

What are some of the things you would like to bind in your husband’s life? Anger, abusiveness, negativity, substance abuse, laziness, passivity? What about in your childrens' lives?

What are some things you would like to loose on earth? Patience, love, unity in your marriage, peace, a heart of forgiveness, holiness?

I am actually quite hesitant to write about this...I am asking myself, Who am I? I don't have the answers. I prayed over my first marriage in tears. For many years. But it didn't get better; it got worse. And in the end...I gave up trying. I handled it my own way. The marriage disintegrated and ended in divorce. I wish I had an answer for why my prayers seemed to go unanswered.

I spent months, no...years, struggling - trying to understand where God was through those dark years I went through. I felt like God abandoned me. Maybe I didn't do all I was supposed to do on my end. For a long time, I struggled with why God didn't answer my most deep and heart-felt prayers. As a result, my prayers became less frequent and more shallow. I read books like, When God Doesn't Make Sense and Disapointment with God. It helped a little. I was reminded that we all still have free will. And He's there to comfort us and see us through.

I am now remarried and although I had uncertainties as to the Lord’s ability (or willingness) to answer my prayers, it’s all I know to do. If I don't pray, what else can I do? So...I pray. Only this time…I'm seeing prayers answered. It’s not that I have a bad marriage. I have a wonderful marriage. But since we're not perfect people, there’s always something to pray about…and I’m seeing my small prayers answered.

What is the difference? I wish I knew. Maybe it was my first husband’s mental illness and darkness of heart. Maybe God can only work with a willing heart? My husband is not perfect, but he has a heart that is willing to listen when God is calling him. On a few occasions, after I had spent some time praying to God about something I was concerned about, my husband would bring up the topic to me. I never even told him I was thinking about it! The timing was too coincidental. Sometimes it might be something small with one of our kids, and I would just notice a change in a behavior. Or a door of opportunity. Sometimes those doors ended up closing.

Yes, I still have unanswered prayers and I don't understand why. I just hope in God for his perfect timing....and I'm still working on adjusting my expectations of His will. His answer may not be what I want to hear. But I see Him answering my prayers often enough to say, "Why wouldn't I want to pray?" About everything. And just watch and see what He does, the God of mercy and grace.

Lord, I pray for my family that You would bind up hardness of heart, laziness, apathy and mediocrity. Bind up selfishness and bitterness. Loosen hearts that seek righteousness, love for one another, and holiness. Loose the opportunities for each member of my family to grow as You intend.

How have you struggled with unanswered prayers?

Teaching Our Teens to Have Healthy Relationships

2012-05-28T15:02:00.000-07:00

I was reading today, an article by Dennis and Barbara Rainey, from Family Life.com. It made me wonder, how many of us are running on autopilot, when we should be proactively teaching our teens what it looks like to have healthy relationships with the opposite sex?

Perhaps we have just let it slide, or put it off, or have felt uncomfortable about it for various reasons. Is it the topic alone? Or have we not even determined for ourselves what our boundaries should be? Maybe guilt from our past is hindering us. Maybe we just haven't thought about it. But I guarantee you, the devil IS thinking about it.

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8 (KJV)

We could easily get sidetracked by the minutia of questions. Should I let my teenagers date, what about group dates, what about, what about, what about...? But if we are followers of Christ, we can look to some of the basic standards of holy living.

For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 2 Timothy 3:2-4 (ESV)

So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2:22 (ESV)

So what are we doing? Are we leaving it up to chance and hoping for God's mercy? Or are we being proactive? What are some things you are doing to be proactively teaching our teenagers God's way for their relationships?

Restored Lives

2012-05-23T12:59:00.000-07:00

We have children graduating this year. Today I set aside some time to go through old childhood photographs to put together a photo memory board for the graduation party. As I went through years of pictures of my stepchildren, I also saw years of what looked like many happy memories. A husband and a wife. Births and birthday parties. Trips, vacations, holidays and family gatherings. A well-cared for home and furnishings. From all appearances, the perfect family. The dream family I wanted.

At the same time, I had a family of my own. Children I loved with all my heart. But it was full of heartache. Yelling. The pain of abuse and manipulation. Lost dreams. Trying to make it appear normal and happy. There were also pictures of births and birthday parties. Vacations, holidays, and family gatherings. But it fell apart. Divorce.

The dream family fell apart too. She gave up everything I longed for. Such a jumble of feelings. Sorrow for two families torn apart. Joy for my new blended family. Envy for the years I didn't get to share with my now husband. But I can't think that way. Neither of us would be the people we are today if we had not gone through those difficult years. Molding, sharpening, refining.

My new family is a gift. I am so blessed by each member of my blended family. I love seeing all of our family together in church every Sunday. I love when all our children are together. I love listening to all of them dialogue with each other. I can see how their care for one another crosses bloodlines. My heart swells with joy.

“And I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten...” – Joel 2:25

"The good news is that God has promised to restore us from all the troubles of our past, the heartaches from broken relationships, the struggles from defeat, and the frustrations of our lives. All the times that we have felt broken beyond repair, God has promised to restore. We cannot change the past. We cannot go back and do things over again. But from this moment forward we can give over to God our anxieties about the past and trust Him to restore what has been lost. We can learn from sin in our past and resolve to live fully for Christ from this day forward." (Mission Venture Ministries)

I shouldn't look back with remorse, but with thankfulness. Because to go back and do it differently would mean giving up one or more of our family members. I am so thankful for my family. Each and every one. I love them all so very much. Each is a gift from God. Each so precious. God has poured mercy over us. Many hurting hearts being healed with his balm of grace.

When They Choose the Wrong Path

2012-05-21T15:53:00.001-07:00

I've been brooding over this a lot lately. As parents, we show our kids the right path to follow, but so often it seems they have to find out for themselves that they're doing it the hard way. Well, they don’t have to but they choose to.

When they are little, it’s easier to show them which way to go, and they do it because we enforce our rules and standards. But when they grow up they have to choose for themselves if they are going to follow God’s way or their own way. It is SO difficult to watch them make poor choices, go down the wrong path and wait for the pain and consequences that result. I see the road they are walking down and sometimes it brings back memories. I remember what happened when I did that. Oh, why won’t they heed my advice? Don’t they understand the pain I am trying to keep them from? I see it coming. I feel it coming. It is inevitable.

We love our children so much. We want them to be happy and live full, rich lives. If only they would strive to follow God’s laws, they would find peace, healthy relationships, and a meaningful life.

I really like what fellow blogger at The Adventurous Life of Mine wrote,

“Life becomes so much more enjoyable when we obey God. God loves us and He's given us laws so that we might find the pleasant and prosperous life He can give us. It will be to our great benefit to obey Him.”

It’s difficult for our children (even our teenagers or adult children) to understand that when the path they are going down seems enjoyable right now. They don’t understand how it could turn to pain and destruction. How far down this road will they go before they turn around?

We pray for them to wake up to their situation. To hear our words, or someone else’s words, and realize there is such a better way. We pray for God's mercy to not let them fall so hard that they can't recover, and His grace to help them get back on the right path. And we’ll be here all the while, waiting to offer our grace and mercy as well.

Grace and Mercy to you,

Praying for Our Children's Relationships

2012-05-17T15:12:00.000-07:00

The relationships our kids have with others are so important because those relationships may influence them – either for the better, or for the worse. I don't know about you, but I don't want to leave that up to chance. These relationships might be friends from school or church, boyfriends or girlfriends, or even other adults.

One of our children's long-time friends has always caused me some uncertainty. They were kids, so of course there were inappropriate words or moments, but aside from that, I couldn't quite put my finger on it. It just never felt quite right. So I started praying about their friendship. I prayed that my child would grow strong in the Lord and stand up to temptations. I prayed this for their friend too. I prayed that if this friend is going to be a negative influence, then the Lord should remove him from my child's life or else change them into what You want them to be. Thank you to Stormie Omartian for this insight into praying for our kids.

When our child was a little older, they decided to make a commitment to live their life for Christ. They had a conversation with their friend… "I can't keep doing some of the things we used to do. We can still be friends. I just can't do those things anymore."

A decision had been made to follow Christ, and part of that decision was to leave old ways behind. They were still friends, but they started drifting apart. More recently, we learned that this drifting friend is choosing their own will, rather than God's will and is leading a very troubled life. I am so glad for God's watchful eye. My child could have easily been influenced to walk the same road with their friend.

When you have a feeling in the pit of your stomach about your children's friends, PRAY about it.

I also prayed that God would bring strong, godly friendships into my children's lives. Stormie Omartian, in The Power of A Praying Parent, writes about why it's important for our children to have friends with other believers. She says it's not that they can't have a non-believing friend, but

"that their closest friends, the ones to whom they have strong ties, should be believers. 'Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?' (Amos 3:3). No they can't. That means if they are not agreed, somebody has to change. And that's why 'The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray' (Proverbs 12:26)."

I want my children to have godly influences in their lives. I pray that God will bring people into their lives that will challenge them to grow in every way. That they would be encouraged to do well in school, make wise choices, find their career path, be involved in church, and make other good relationships. One day, one of those relationships will be their future spouse. I need to pray for them too.

Have you had any issues with your children's friendships? How have you dealt with it?