Bond Hunter's Guide To Wondir

Christmas, The Holidays and Children

2006-01-02T15:08:00.000-05:00

Christmas, The Holidays and Children

Sorry but this was SUPPOSE to have been posted before Christmas, but he had a little change in our plans for the holiday season. While the post is late, we had a fantastic time this past week. So here's what was suppose to be up about a week ago:

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With the approaching holiday season and the merriness of the children, it’s time to reflect on life and the things that are really important.

No doubt your child/children have had their Christmas lists made out for the past year or so…and no doubt with each commercial on T.V. you hear the chants of “OHHHH…I want that!”

But at this time of the year I think its more important to think about and teach your children about the things you already have.

Yes, there still need to be lots of pretty toys under the tree, my daughters all got brand new notebook computers and a bunch of clothes this year, they’ll get more from Mom and the Grandparents I’m sure…but they know those gifts are just gifts…they’re not the real meaning of the season or what the whole idea of life is all about.

To me, and I’m sure I’m not alone, the most important things are the love you share as a family, the closeness you feel with the extended family that you have and the joy in just being alive and being able to live another day with a chance to help someone, care for someone and even at times love someone.

This past year has brought many changes to the lives of myself and my children.

In September of 2004 I joined a website called Wondir and started answering questions from whoever popped on the site. In little over a year I had answered over 25,000 questions. I had met countless people who in their own personal time had given help to those in need, those seeking answers and those just seeking a friend.

Over the year that I was on Wondir I counseled many people, giving only my opinion of what I saw as a possible answer to their problems.

The past year has been a wonderful (WonDirFul?) year for me and for my family. We’ve had a blessing from God that we never would have expected, never knew was even possible. The countless emails, the calls (yeah I do rarely give out a private phone number when I feel it is really needed and won’t be abused), the cards and letters sent to me, my family and other people who I have counseled.

I have my share of happy endings, the ones that turn out much better than you ever expect. And I have my share of unhappy endings, or more like unhappy hiatus…I always like to think the missed chances will come back one more time and try to get things right.

I’ve had my share of failures too. The things you knew just had to work cause the case was so clear and everyone had to see it. But online, you have to realize that you never know what is really going on with the other person, what is really happening and being said on the other side.

As I’m typing the draft for this post, I have Sarah watching T.V. in the living room with her Mom and my kids. I hear laughter and see smiles. I see four children, five if I count Mom, coming out of their shells more and more each day.

I see the future, I see the past, I see what caring for someone is all about.

No, I can’t change the entire world, no one can. But together, if we really try, we really can!

It’s not a war on terrorism, it’s not a war on drugs, it’s not a crackdown on illegal immigration, it’s all about the caring and the love we show each other. It’s about reaching out when no one else will, it’s about taking risks when you truly believe the reward out-weighs the risk. It’s about places like Wondir where you can reach out and help another person, maybe even save their lives.

I’m proud of the time I had put in on Wondir, I’ve been able to be a part of a wonderful community of warm, loving and caring people who give from their hearts, care from their very beings and believe in the one true gospel of this day and age…help others.

I could recount for you story after story, email after email, the successful help I alone have given, then take a long hard look at the countless people on Wondir and magnify that times ten.

What do you have?

A caring, loving and nurturing community that not only has a proven track record, but continues to grow daily, expands to handle new issues, listens to its users and really cares about the person behind the question.

I’d also love to thank all of the people who have stopped by here in connection to me time on blog exchanges…especially Jack, John, Michelle, Raja, and Peebug: who has a blog that always makes me smile…

I’d also love to thank the sites I link to for doing all you do to help others. I’d like to thank the sites that link back to me, you make it all worth wild bringing others in need closer to where they need to be.

I’d like to thank my own kids, for giving up a little of their Daddy so someone else is happy.

I’d like to thank “Mom”, for trusting, believing and having the courage to step-out and do what was needed.

But most of all, I need to thank one little girl who made me really believe, through the good and the bad, that it was all worth it. That no matter what people said about how much time I spend on a website, that no matter how many people told me a person was beyond help or beyond reach, it mattered.

A little girl, who through her courage and perseverance has overcome so many odds and beat the system that is bent on just covering things up and making them go away. A little girl who never gave up hope, never stopped believing, never stopped loving or caring. A little girl who should have the Nobel Prize for Faith…

Sarah

You’ve changed my life, the lives of my children, your mothers life and most importantly, you changed the life you had into one that you wanted.

Look under the Christmas Tree this year, you’ll see the difference you’ve made in our lives.

We love you, we thank you for being a part of our lives and we look forward to many happy years being close.

To the rest of you who had to read through that sappy love song, remember what BH always tells you…

BE SAFE…

BE HAPPY…

BUT MOST OF ALL….

BE YOURSELF!!!!!

Until next time….love ya all…pray for Sarah, pray for our country…and help each other!

Bond Hunter ~ Over and Out!

The Prince Of Tides

2005-10-30T18:26:00.000-05:00

The Prince Of Tides: Our Own Hidden Secrets

As people who want to help others, as online advice givers, oh to hell with to so called professionals, as Online Counselors…a quiet question lingers…

“What secrets do YOU hold Lowenstein???”

If you have ever seen the movie “The Prince Of Tides” you know what I’m talking about. If not…watch it a few more times…

If you have NEVER seen this most blessed of all psychological BS flicks than GO RENT IT TONIGHT!

It deals with the holding on to the past, even when it is bad, ever horrible, because it is the only past we have.

We cover up, lie, deny, cuss, cheat, steal, runaway, and commit the most hideous acts of violence all in the name of protecting those most precious thoughts.

Nick Nolte and Miss Barbara gave their best performances in this lesser known but well respected movie. It gives everyone a better sense of who we really are on the planet, no matter our station in life, yeah face it, we all have our station…

It also shows the horror of child abuse and rape, while holding on to family values, though in the movie they aren’t the correct values.

To put it bluntly, we all have secrets…how far are you willing to uncover yours to be a better counselor?

Give out a free email address? Call someone, risking Caller ID? Talk to their significant other? Talk to their PARENT??????

Maybe none of the above…

Does that make your advice any less valuable? NO…

You have right to privacy, but the person you are counseling has rights too…

That’ll be covered in another post…but for now let’s deal with your rights.

You have the right to protect your personal information…banks, jobs, family all the usual BS.

You have the right to voice your opinion…but, you may at some later date be called to the rug over it…(been there, done that….it ain’t pretty, but if you are right it is worth it.)

You have the right to ask for more information, though not personal, just in reply to what you have been asked.

You have the right to refer to a PROFESSIONAL for further advice. This is a right we ALL need to use over and over again.

Unless you are a certified professional with degrees, you, at times, need to refer to one. Not getting in the Ad-Sense “Call Joe Smith CSW….he’ll cure all your ills” Google ads BS…

But to give the advice that “You should really talk to your doctor” or “You need more help than I can give you…I have a hotline number that can help…it’s…..”

Sometimes the best that we can do is refer to someone else, I’ve referred to other regulars on Wondir as well as to professionals.

Hey, I’m not a woman, I can’t tell you much about the feelings of pregnancy…but I can tell you to talk to So-And-So.

Now, there are areas we know, there are areas we can research, and there are areas in which we are of no help at all. You know it, I know it.

But I’ve seen it so many times when someone has to stick their nose into something they know NOTHING about and just throw in a little BS to boil the waters. It happens on Wondir all the time. (Thank God for good moderators!)

A lot of the time we let our own experiences dictate how we respond. We let our own opinions lead us in how we advise others, especially kids and teens. And to the kids and teens this is not fair at all.

While we can use those experiences to guide our advice, we can’t dictate to them what they can and cannot do.

Offer options, advice, guidance. No scriptures, condemnation, don’t laugh at them, criticize them, don’t condemn them.

Let them make the choices. Do you as a zealot think God is going to reward you for pressuring someone into believing something they really don’t? Not saying you are wrong, but if it is not their choice, it must be yours alone. In the end, no one wins. And maybe a child walks away from God, or worse…dies.

We bury what needs to be, only to have it come back later to be finally dealt with. That’s not what we do in online counseling. We try to get a person stable, happy and healthy…moving on with their life. Then if we are so inclined we can express religious convictions at a latter date. For now just keep them alive, happy and willing to see the next sunrise.

Anything less then that is wasting the time of all of those of us that truly care and want to help and it is wasting the time and life of those that need our help.

It all boils down to “If you aren’t part of the solution, you’re part of the problem”

Sorry if that’s a little too rough for the trolls and smart-asses, but that is how it is and how it has to be.

For now, as I’m fond of saying: Be Safe, Be Happy, But MOST OF ALL…BE YOURSELF!!!

Cross-posted on Bond Hunter's Guide To Online Counseling & Resources

What’s The REAL Question: Short-sightedness In Counseling Online

2005-10-29T17:02:00.000-04:00

What’s The REAL Question: Short-sightedness In Counseling Online

Let’s call her Sarah.

She’s a 10 year old girl I met on Wondir about a year ago. It’s taken me about 7 months to build a relationship with her and her family. She is the only child of a single working mother who just completed a divorce from an extremely abusive husband.

Both Sarah and her mother were abused in this situation. Her mother physically and emotionally. Sarah was abused physically, emotionally and sexually.

When I first met Sarah online it was in response to a question she had posted somewhat along the lines of “Do you always go to hell if you commit suicide?”

Well, right off the bat, that sent the religious zealots of Wondir into a great theological debate that did little good in getting to the root of Sarah’s problem. You see, while Sarah’s question involved religious aspects, it wasn’t for theological debates that she was looking for, it was for help in stopping her thoughts of suicide.

With all of the horrible things that had happened to Sarah in her life, she had lost the will to live. Yes, even a 10 year old can get that so depressed and so desperate that they can’t see any way out from the living hell their lives have become.

Meanwhile back on Wondir, those of us who aren’t concerned with the religious aspects of heaven and hell when it comes to a child’s plea for help, attempted to aid her the best we could amid all the quotations of scriptures, mostly taken out of context anyway.

After a long discourse with Sarah and the other people who were focusing on helping Sarah not converting her, I left her with a message that if she wanted to talk more she could always email me and I gave her my email address, which most regulars at Wondir probably have memorized by now since I give it out so freely.

I didn’t hear from Sarah for about two weeks. Then one day I received an email asking if I remembered answering a question on Wondir and she gave me the details. I’ll be the first to admit that with all the questions posted per day on Wondir it gets a bit hard to remember even the heated debates (of which there should be NONE when the true question isn‘t about religion, but about life) but as Sarah’s remembrance of the responses unfolded I began to remember the post and it’s ensuing debate and the little true advice many had offered. (Thank God for the few level headed regulars and mods who saw past the terminology and phrasing of the post and saw what the true meaning behind it was).

Sarah thanked me for talking to her about her problem and not condemning her for her thoughts, she really only wanted to know if anyone really cared enough to reach out. She thanked me for all the help the I and all the other level headed posters gave her without telling her that she would go to hell, or only God can decide that.

Those posts while valid in the religious realm, were not what she was asking. And this gets to the main point of this post…(God, it took me THIS long just to get to the main point? You know this is gonna be a long one…..)

How often do we, as advice givers online, overlook the real problems, the real questions being asked, the real issue being raised…

Do we look at questions and responses and just assume? Remember what the great comedian Benny Hill said…“Never assume, cause when you do you make an ASS out of U and ME” (hence the ASS-U-ME).

Or do we, as we should, solicit more information, reevaluate the information as new information becomes available and offer new, fresh and innovative ways of handling the problem? Which is more valuable? Which is more helpful? Which would you want an online counselor giving your 10 year old daughter?

Sometimes you have to look beyond the words you see on a web page, listen a little closer to the words in a phone call, play many ideas and possibilities through your mind before you want to add anything more. Sometimes the best and most helpful response is to either remain silent or to ask a question of your own. “Well, what else can you tell me?” “Wow, how did that make you feel?” “Do you have any ideas on how you think you might want to handle this?”

A few simple and direct questions can open up a whole new line of questioning which in turn will lead to new information and possibilities. Or, it could open up a whole new Pandora’s Box.

But, after all, that’s what we do in counseling isn’t it? Pry the box open just a little bit at a time?

For now, as I’m fond of saying: Be Safe, Be Happy, But MOST OF ALL…BE YOURSELF!!!

Cross-posted to Bond Hunter's Counseling and Resource Blog

Take The BOND HUNTER Challenge!!!

2005-10-02T18:12:00.000-04:00

Due to my constant posting of my email address I get a TON of spam in my gmail account daily.

Well for the next 30 days I'm not going to empty any of my spam mail.

Post your guess of how many spam emails I get in the next 30 days.

I offically began at midnight today and currently have 167.

Heck maybe I can sue them all inthe end...

Let's see who gets the closest to the real tally!!!

Guess Size DOES Matter

2005-09-27T20:07:00.000-04:00

Google now says it is 3 times larger than any other seach engine

Umm....that's for pages indexed

Here You Go!

A mad and RAVING rant on Parenting, American Society and OUR Responsibility to kids!

2005-09-27T01:41:00.000-04:00

I recently posted on a board on Yahoo that is connected to Wondir the following RANT, yes, a RANT...not that I'm not already known for these but here's the whole story...be patient

The Moderator posted this sad but true story and a question...deep in deed:

A mother was walking home along the road in Middlesborough, Teeside UK
with her 10 month old baby girl in a pushchair when she was approached
by a youth who appeared to be drunk or under the influence of drugs.

He punched the baby twice in the face before fleeing.

The baby was taken to hospital but thankfully was not suffering from
any major injuries.

If/when this moron is caught what punishment would you prescribe?

Now...you all know me and my love for children and kids and teens. Do you think I even had a chance to think this one through or did I just unload?

Well if you guessed BOTH you're right...I fought posting for the longest time and finally had to blow...

So here it is in all it's mess and bloody glory, Heed my words!

That's so disturbing...

Depending on his age...youth usually means over 13 or 14....

LOCK THE SOB UP

Detox him, make him face the family and pay for what he did...jail
time INCLUDED!!!

Come on people stop using drugs or intoxication as an excuse for
horrible crimes. THIS is what is wrong with this country and even
the world.

We excuse things like this because "they may have a problem".

It's the BLAME GAME...spin the wheel and see which family member or
section of society you get to BLAME for all the nasty things you did
wrong and why your life is so messed up!!! WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!

And, sadly we have a loser...

Society...think back to when we were all kids, I'm talking to those
of us in our mid 30's to early or even late 40's...

Would this SHIP have happened then? (grins at the careful cloaking)

If this had happened to my child I would have tracked the little
punk down and kiled him, just like my daddy would have done. THIS is
what is WRONG with AMERICA...PARENTS NOT BEING PARENTS...not doing
what is RIGHT for their kids!

I deal with this on Wondir day after day, it's why my posts have
dropped from #1 in 90 days to like #8...I'm not there as much, I'm
in IM's and Emails dealing with issues of families falling apart and
parents not doing their jobs...drunks daddies and dating mommies
don't make up for a STABLE FAMILY HOME LIFE!

I'm not saying you HAVE to stay married when you know its over, or
to do what our grand-parents did and STAY TOGETHER FOR THE
KIDS...but be a father or mother, even if you aren't with the child
at the time.

It's time for American families to GTF up...a little faster than our
kids are...cause if not...remember...when you're old and in
diapers...THEY DECIDE WHERE YOU GO!

*Reposted to my blog just to tick off a few more Wondirites

We waste so much of our youth trying to grow up, yet we miss so much in doing so. And as parents we rush our children through life as if it was our decision. Who gave us that right? Who said "Make your kid take care of YOU ASAP!!!"?

Who is the father that sits by and gets drunk night after night while his kids chat online to strangers asking for ways to get Daddy to stop drinking?

Who is the mother who is out running the town while her preteens sit on the internet and ask "Why doesn't our mom love us anymore"?

Who is the teen the sits home at night contemplating suicide while her parents are out drugging up?

And who are WE who sit online trying to help these kids in need?

Well I already know who I am, I think you do to...now...how to get this BACK TO THE PARENTS!!!

I'd love to come to a board that only whats recipes!!! Instead of info about cutting, suicide and running away...

What a sad, cruel world we live in today...and to think...WE WERE THE ONES THAT WANTED TO GROW UP SO FAST...

The only solace I have is that it happened inthe UK...or is it just never reported HERE?

Rant over...continue your surfing...

Google WiFi?

2005-09-21T15:04:00.000-04:00

Google is at it once again...this time in the Wireless Internet Arena!

Check this out Google Secure Access

Bond Hunter Part 2?

2005-09-18T03:26:00.000-04:00

Here's a linky to my next project.

Let me know what you think!!

Once agian I'm bondhunter@gmail.com

Google Blog Search!!

2005-09-14T12:41:00.000-04:00

Good God!

Good Google!!!

It's finally here. Google has done gone and done it again...this time with BLOGS!

Here's a couple of articles about this long needed and wanted search engine for blogs...

Once again, my hats off to Google! Go get em boys!!!

Bright and Shiny Future: Part Four

2005-09-13T01:53:00.000-04:00

Bright And Shiny Future: Part Four
* Or “How To Lose Friends And Tick Everyone Off!

Hey all, welcome to another issue of your suggestions and ideas for enhancing the Wondir experience.

If you read your Weekly Wondir…and you should! You know we got our first Blog Suggested Upgrade! We got…umm…..what are they called…..umm…err…hmmm…..oh, wait PARAGRAPHS!!!

So now I CAN post

THIS

IF I

WANT! (Just kidding Allen…)

Now on to the next batch of rants and raves…hold on boys and girls and keep all limbs inside the car as it barrels into the unknown…

One suggestion that has been brought up and it was also one of my ideas too is a little box on the site, preferably on the Category board where one can type in a registered users name and see their posts without having to wait for them to post.

In other words, you want to see what questions I’ve asked and answered you would simply click on this box, type in my name and click OK.

Up would pop both my Q’s and A’s with links to the Q’s I posted the A’s to.

Just like clicking on my name gives you the option to see both my Q’s and my A’s but you don’t have to scroll through the whole day to see if I was on to get to my name. (Yes, I know you can always bookmark my Stats page, but that gets to be too much if you have a lot of people that you know and want to keep an eye on, especially for those who are moderators. Sometimes we like to keep a long-term eye on known offenders so we know that they aren’t repeating their prior infractions.

Someone suggested that if you post a link in a WIM, it should open in another window that BOTH you and the person who asked the question would see…kind of like a shared ride...some site did that I know I heard about it but never knew what is was for…

Now this would be interesting. But I’d like to take it a step further, how about incorporating into the WIM, so the WIM window (WIMDOW?) opens to a full page and you can type and guide at the same time (me sees Allen dialing MIT for this one…)

I could talk to you in the message part, point with my mouse, even GUIDE you if you ALLOW me to do so, and walk you through things step by step.

*Me hears Matt scream from the background*

Yeah too open to MAJOR ABUSE…

Imagine if you will…you or your CHILD, allows me to take you on a magical ride over the internet…did it just get cold in here or was it just me? We all know each other to an extent, those of us regulars…but who are you going to trust THAT much? *Note: Whole other Blog Post to come…

*Great idea, hard to implement, harder to monitor. This would take a lot of work but I’d love to see it. For this to happen I would have to foresee a “quasi-staff” who were both verified by the staff at Wondir, with a police background check and constant monitoring. For now it is impossible considering the size of Wondir’s staff and the complexity of the project…BUT…..it’s on my back burner for when *dreams of a Google/Wondir pairing* things are different.

Fad Boards…

Yes, this is an issue that has been sent to me either here on the blog or by email a zillion times!!! Ok, not a zillion but lots of times…

Books *cough*Harry*Potter*cough* and TV shows and Movies create a HUGE following at times, simply look at Lord Of The Rings or that series about some Wizard Kid…forget his name though…

I know a lot of you don’t like the Fad idea or the Kids idea, but face it…kids are a HUGE part of Wondir’s following. If we kicked all the kids off we’d all be sitting around answering questions like “What is the name of the guy the manicures a horses hoofs?”(and again HUSH YOU!!) and you know we have ALL been though that phase already.

Fad Boards are a part of the internet, like fan pages are to celebrities. I like or love you or your movie so I set up a fan page at some free hosting site…

This is no different, those questions would be routed to the correct board for them and, IF, we are not subscribed to that channel we don’t have to see it.

Yes, that’s another post I need to do…how to add and subtract boards from your list.
The question is how many boards Wondir wants to have and to support. Specialty board thin out the people answering on the ALL CATEGORIES while adding little value to the site as a whole, except to those who are on that board.

To me, it’s like the Mature Category.

Personally I don’t go there, I’ve been there and seen it before, didn’t feel the need to offer my hand…umm…bad wording there….offer my advice there and to tell you the truth at times it is just a message board meant solely for adults.

I’d say 90% of the sex related questions go to Pregnancy, Relationships Teen or other (though I have no idea why) boards.

To me the Mature Category should be a restricted board. You sign up, you send Wondir a copy of your Drivers License and they call you to verify. From that point on it’s THEIR problem.
Get a mod or two, I know there are a few that go there, have them watch for fake accounts and kids.

Someone posted this…and it has my 110% backing.

When logged in as a moderator, some right-click features would be great. From the Wondir site, it would be great if I could right-click on a question and choose to re-categorize, then be offered the categories, and select. I could buzz right down the board and get stuff in the proper categories.

Easier re-categorizing would be a major upgrade. Point, click…zip

End of Story.

Again…Moderator Tracking…

I’d love to know who is a mod and when they are online. And the added ability to /message them in a NON-POSTED way to discuss problem posters and deletions.

I’d don’t want to have this turn into a Mod. Vs. Mod. War

I’d just like to know who you banned and why… show me the reason and I can back you 100%
Otherwise it is your word against theirs…

How about a pop-up when you Suspend someone or delete their posts or answers.

Simple form: Mod123 erased response from WGuest12123232. Reason: Vulgar
Explanation: Modified Curse Word

Mod 563 Suspended account named Bitemybutt for: Explanation: User repeatedly violated Wondir rules by cursing, asking for or offering sex, harassing other users…blah, blah, blah..

These I can understand…but there has to be a link to said infringements.

Email responses

This is something I’ve noticed and think needs to be addressed soon. Someone answers or responses to a post or a question and in my email I only get part of the post…send it all to me…easy enough…plus include a link to View Question and all responses, not just a link to email them back and make me have to hunt for the Question.

The AnswerBus Problem…

A lot of people do not know that AnswerBus is a so called “search site” that refers to Wondir when it is not in their database.

Well I’ve almost lost my head a few times with AnswerBus and it’s repeated posts of the same questions over and over and over…

Someone posts often Does AnswerBus EVER learn?

Apparently not. The database seems to miss everything, add nothing and is totally useless. I’ve actually posted the same question over and over to see if it learns, I’ve even gone as far as to make sure I’m the one that answers it. Yet still the AnswerBus database learns little if anything.
Someone needs to get AnswerBus to put more of Wondirs answers into the database a lot faster. I love the idea of type question, get instant answer, but this ain’t it.

WonDir Contests/Wondir Bowl

A recent visitor asked that there be some contests that aren’t geared to users being online 24/7 in order to win.

Now, as a long time winner in these Wondir Bowls I would love to see something original. Something not based on ratings or how many questions you answer.

But that’s a hard field to sow.

If anyone has any suggestions I would love to see them. After all, I have enough mugs to last me a while.

Contest suggestions should be fair to all, not geared to ratings, or number if questions answered, focused on a real topic, not CHAT related.

Email me with some ideas!!! Allen and Matt would love to see them!

And on that note, I’ll remind you once again, we have the ear of the guys in charge. All you have to do is ASK!

If you don’t ask, they don’t know, they can’t respond and things don’t get better. The worst you get from asking is a No...sorry can’t do that for these reasons….

I have NEVER had anyone at Wondir just tell me no or YES for that matter…they always tell you why…

For now…Be Safe…Be Happy….but most of all…..BE YOURSELF!!

Bond Hunter Over and OUT!

Bright And Shiny Future: Part 3 of Many!!!

2005-08-30T01:40:00.000-04:00

Wondir: A Bright And Shiny Future: #3 of MANY!*
* or how to muck things up without really trying…

As you have noticed by now I’m doing this 1 trillion page post piece by piece.

Got a lot of GREAT responses that deserve responses, so here I rant on about a few more….(Poor Matt, Allen and the rest of the Wondirful staff at Wondir for having to follow all this)

Some Wondirful Wondir mod wrote in with this…

“On the Admin Site, I would like the ability to plug in a Wondir ID and see all the user's questions and answers. (Sometimes I see a post complaining about another user. I end up searching every single question and answer looking for that user's offensive post. If another moderator got to it, then I can search for it and never find it!)”

To me, this is a definite 10! I’ve been there and done that too many times. Give me the abusers WGuest number and I can see what’s been said and done. This should also include deleted posts and if the person or email addy has been banned before. It would make it simpler for Mods to be able to track trouble-makers and perverts. *Gasp* Yeah I’ve run across a few but not too many YET…

The same user/mod offered this idea:

“When logged in as a moderator, some right-click features would be great. From the Wondir site, it would be great if I could right-click on a question and choose to re-categorize, then be offered the categories, and select. I could buzz right down the board and get stuff in the proper categories.”

I agree here, to re-categorize stuff on Wondir is just a PITA. I gave that up months ago. The filtering system gets most things right but a lot of times it really mucks things up and you sit there in a category and go “Hmm…..what made it put THAT here????”

As I said in my previous reply, no filtering system designed yet is perfect but…why not shoot for it now? And if you can’t…why not make it easier on those that can and would be reorganizing things?

This same resourceful mod offered the idea of letting mods know when other mods are online at Wondir.

Anyone think Wondir ought to just hire this mod? LOL

I love this idea, and when a post gets deleted I can message the mod if I have Q’s about who, what, when, where, why and how….well we know how….so pass on that..

This brings me to another post…err, posts and a few private emails I’ve gotten. Mods cover your ears cause you might not like this one…

A few people have mentioned this, and I’ve seen it with my own eyes. And is PISSES ME OFF TO NO END! (Originally I had ticked in there, but no, it’s MUCH more than that now that I think about it…Grrrrr!!!!)

Posts that are not there when I click on them. And I mean posts that are for real, serious, meaningful and not in offensive language or off-color.

I’ll give you an example. I was in an on again/off again posting with a girl one night and I noticed that several of her posts were getting deleted almost instantly.

If that wasn’t bad enough, this girl was in an abusive situation at home and needed help instantly, not to have to repost 100 times.

Then, if things were not bad enough, her account was blocked 4 or 5 times under a WGuest account. Finally I had to resort to giving out my email addy, not like I haven’t done that a million times before, but this time it was forced out of me by someone deleting posts and accounts.

It seems occasionally we have rouge mods at Wondir. Mod’s who wheel a little bit of power and let it go to their heads and think they know what is and isn’t proper for Wondir to answer, a child to ask, or a user to post.

GET OVER YOURSELF! You aren’t THAT FLIPPIN’ IMPORTANT!! And if you feel the need to be…then…..GO SOMEPLACE ELSE!!!

Wondir is about Questions and Answers. Wondir is about reaching out and helping others. Wondir is about a community that comes together and helps those in need.

As has been said on my blog…

"Sometimes it takes a village, or more precisely, someone in the village who can help you," Dr. Matthew Koll, founder and CEO of Wondir.

And Matt has a great point there in reference to this post…if you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem…

You don’t like it…move on to the next question you like. We all have that choice, we can ignore anything we choose to, if we CHOOSE to…

Rogue Mods choose to decide what the rest of the community is allowed to say and answer. If you can’t be a tiny bit open and objective, RESIGN your Mod status and go hang out in a Yahoo chat room! You’ll be more useful there!!!!!

I despise censorship in all its forms unless it gets racist, sexually explicit or just plain senseless.
Wondir is driven by people answering Questions. Openly, honest and truthful.

Just as I hate people that answer a question with “Google it” or “I don’t know” just to get their ratings up…I hate even worse the people that abuse their powers to help…turning them into powers to hinder.

As a mod, your job is to keep the boards safe and clean (by standards accepted within the community).

You don’t decide whose opinion is right or wrong, you don’t say who can ask what question unless it is put in foul language or seductive phrases, you don’t decide if a person should or should not have an abortion…you give opinions, without causing the person to be offended and run screaming from Wondir to some place more safe and users friendly)

My true feelings be known, I would love to see the Mature and Religion categories deleted. They are the cause of most of the wars and problems on Wondir. Wondir is not a debate board, it is for answers…give yours…back it up…cut the bullshit….and move on!

Don’t sit there and delete an answer that is different than yours unless it is clearly wrong (Hint: KNOCK IT OFF IN THE RELIGION CATEGORY!) or offensive (Hint: KNOCK IT OFF IN THE MATURE CATEGORY!)

This in and of itself is reason for knowing who the mods are that are on and what they have done. And I believe that all users, registered or not should have the ability to see who the mods are and what they/we have deleted and WHY.

Which brings me to my personal rant for this post…

Short and simple: When a Mod deletes a post they should be required to give a reason WHY!
This cuts through all the BS and gets right to the point. Same way with banning people. Let me see their history, let me see the post where the complaint came from..let me decide from there!

Enough for now….

Bring it on!!!!

Be safe, be HAPPY…but most of all…..be YOURSELF!!!

Bond Hunter ~ Ken

Google Talk!! It's Here!! It's Free!!! It's...ummm

2005-08-24T13:32:00.000-04:00

Had to get this baby first thing.

Google, the true key to internet search,has finally unveiled its long needed and wanted Google Talk!!

Here's a Link

http://www.google.com/talk/

You need to have a Google GMail Account to get it, but good news...

I have 50 invites and will send them out to any of the regulars on Wondir free of charge, simply send me an email with your Wondir name and email account so I can send it to you.

There are a few links to news stories about Google Talk (personally I think GIM would have been a better name) (Or GYM for Google, Yahoo's Master!)

http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,1895,1851348,00.asp

http://www.techworld.com/applications/news/index.cfm?newsid=4271

Wondir's Growth - 2 Million Questions and Answers!

2005-08-22T22:43:00.000-04:00

Pop on over to Wondir's blog and see the amazing growth over at Wondir.

Wasn't that long ago the number was 1 million...6 months later its DOUBLED!

Hey Buddy, Can Ya Spare $4 billion?

2005-08-22T14:03:00.000-04:00

Google to raise 4 billion with another stock issue....plus word of a mysterious "communication tool" Can anyone say "GIM"?

New Google Desktop Beta!

2005-08-22T13:49:00.000-04:00

It's finally here and it's FANTASTIC!

Just downloaded it today and can't stop playing with it.

Bright And Shiny Future: Part Deux!

2005-08-18T01:20:00.000-04:00

Bright And Shiny Future: Part Deux!
Ideas For Wondir’s Future Growth*

* Or “How To Muck Things Up In One Easy Blog Post!”

O.K., here goes everything…this is where I prove to you once and for all just how dumb I can be.
As we all know, Wondir is going to change over time, everything has to change in order to adapt to new environments and new situations. Anything that doesn’t adapt becomes extinct, with the exception of Microsoft.

I’ve blogged on here previously about get a bunch of ideas down for feedback to Wondir as well as for use in future posts on here.

I knew you would all have great ideas, we Wondites tend to be like that!! ;)

The first and to me probably the easiest issue to handle is “Adding Paragraphs” to Wondir posts.

When I first got to Wondir, this probably more then anything really irritated me. I spend time typing and making sure everything was separated into neat little segments that were east to read and held related or semi related information and lo and behold…it posted like a letter from an 7 yr old on speed!

Where’d all my breaks go?

And more importantly why did they go wherever they went?

I can see some sense in not having the breaks, it takes up extra space and it is open to abuse if you get some idiot who posts two words and adds 50 spaces in between them. But there has to be a way to allow them and limit them to just one page break for “X” number of words.

Can’t Post

This???

So there’s my rant on “Paragraph Breaks” Should be easy to add if there is not a good reason for not having them, which we don’t know yet but I know Allen, Billy or Cindy, maybe even Matt will let us know, Gotta love it when you get personal response from the head honchos and you get it fast…these guys are GOOD!

Onto issue two: HTML Links…

Another issue that bothered me when I first came to Wondir was that when I posted and added a web site link so the person could go see where I was getting my information from, it didn’t create an automatic HTML link, one someone can just click on instead of having to cut and paste it into their browser, a think I hate to do because if I only have one browser open it causes me to leave the site I’m currently on.

What I’d like to see implemented at Wondir is clickable links. Ones that open in a new browser, not take me away from Wondir. I’ve gotten several suggestions about that.

But, in being fair, Allen did write me and tell me that Wondir use to have them but they were abused at times. Now we all can imagine what types of places “certain” people would send others to. So I clearly see why it is not in practice today.

What I’d like to see is if there is a way to get them back. Even if it is only on a limited basis to Moderators or other “TRUSTED” regulars.

I hate to sound like I’m talking about a Class System, but face it people, some people just can’t be trusted with too much power, like the ability to add links to god only knows where. But in the case of Mods and Regs I would think there are some out there that can be trusted to wield this mystical power.

The solution to abuse is loss of Mod rights, or banning the Reg that abuses the power. Now that would cost Wondir time in checking on complaints (another “Report Abuse” linky..”). but in the end it would help build a better system. Though I do believe that those people that get the right to use HTML links should all be taught how to look for spy-ware and programs that automatically install.

Another issue that was brought up was an interesting one. The ability to type in a question ID number and pull up the question. Now I’m horrible with remembering numbers so this doesn’t help me out at all, others may want to keep track of their favorite questions, something I do on a limited basis using “My Favorites”.

If something like this was implemented, I’d like to see it set up like the links suggestion, where it would open in a different browser so as not to disrupt my main screen on Wondir. (You should note here that while on Wondir I usually average about three other browsers open and both my IM programs running, usually for private sessions, so I’m use to being distracted by multiple windows and browsers…)

Ok, next rant…

The Filtering System: It’s been suggested, several times both here on my blog and in personal conversations with different people that the Wondir filtering system doesn’t catch a lot of the stuff it should, but I lay down this challenge, find one that does work all the time…filtering technology is like that of voice recognition software, it’s only as effective as the people who use it.
When posting a question, Wondir users are offered the chance to place their questions in a wide array of boards. Most opt out to let Wondir put it where they think is best. Now most of the time, and I’ve looked at this posts on most of the major boards I post to, Wondir does an effective job of getting stuff where it belongs.

On to the next gripe…err, suggestion:

As User suggested: It would be great if when a member were suspended, that the registered e-mail address would be blocked as well. I know it is easy to get a new address from somewhere like hotmail, but I think it would cut down on people who get suspended just signing right back up.

BRILLIANT!!

I, personally have too many email accounts, and I know how hard it is to get one. Hell it takes forever to get through the BS that Hotmail and Yahoo and the others make you fill out…if I was to be a TROLL, I’d get tired of being banned and having to apply for new email accounts just to troll….and it is better than an all out ISP ban, like what Dal-Net tried with the AOL spammers a few years back, all their ban did was reduce real accounts. So I back this suggestion 110%!!!

This same user also suggested that multiple accounts be tied to one email address. Hmm…well I’m not a fan of multiple accounts but here’s my best…

Ok, suppose for SOME reason, WAY beyond my grasp, I decided that I wanted to spend ½ my time on Wondir being Mr. Good and ½ my time being Mr. Joke…can I have everything tied to one email account?

Personally, I’d say no. Now hear me out….Wondir is not some Yahoo Chat Room, you can’t have an identity for hitting on girls, an identity for hitting on guys and one for being Mr. Clean…What is the problem? Why the multiple accounts? What is the need? Do you have split personalities? Alter-Egos?

Get over it…either be yourself or admit you aren’t acting right cause your meds need to be adjusted.

Wondir is designed to be a place people can go to for rock solid advice and information. Not someplace where the same guy is going to answer your question 3 times under three different names.

Why do you need three accounts? Why can’t you just have one account and do what you are supposedly here to do…ask and answer questions? I’m all for banning multiple accounts, especially when one or more are being abused or used to up the ratings and ranks.

Basically people, it boils down to this, BE YOURSELF! That’s ALL you will ever be and if you can’t be honest about that with people a billion miles away from you then you seriously need help to stop hiding whatever it is you are hiding!

On the old Dal-Net we banned those people, Wondir should do the same.

Bright and Shiny Future Update: #1

2005-08-15T01:04:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to let everyone know I have read all the posts as well as the emails that have been sent to me personally and I am currently working on a reply article.

This is currently an EXTREMELY busy time of the year for those of us in the "vacation resort" business and I don't have lots of time to work on it or to be on Wondir right now, but it is coming!

I knew the Wondirites(c) would come though with a long list of Wondirful ideas.

Just to let you know, Allen and Billy, both from Wondir read the responses you give here, as I'm sure others at Wondir do too. Wondir has a fantastic (can't keep using the Wondirful..it gets old at times) staff who listen and respond to our needs, wants and gripes...

Keep posting what you like, don't like, need, want or just think might be KEWL to have!

As always, the people who come to Wondir continue to impress me with both their caring and their wisdom. Together with a great staff, we can continue to make Wondir Wondirful! (sorry, had to do it!)

Keep the ideas and suggestions coming, they will ALL get heard...err, read and responded to...since you already know I can't help but throw my two cents in!

Till then...Be Safe...Be Happy...but most of all....BE YOURSELF!

A Bright Shiny Future!!

2005-08-01T15:06:00.000-04:00

Wondir’s Future: What Would YOU Like To See?

* Note: Yes, I’m still working on the Wondir Blogging Article. So Don’t GRIPE!

As recent poster asked if some of us could add a little input to an article he is writing for the New York Times about Community Search Engines like Wondir or the old Google Answers.

Now what I’d like readers here to do is make this the longest and thread Blogger has ever seen.

Imagine a year down the road, two years down the road, even five years down the road. How would YOU see Wondir? What improvements would you like to see? What features would you like to see? Got a category you want added?

Well this is YOUR chance to add to the Wondir that is Wondir! Voice your opinion!

Tell me what you’d like to see added to, taken away from or enhanced at Wondir!

Want a better WIM? Want more Moderators? Want better filtering? Want better category placement? Voice your opinion!

Tell me what you want and I’ll see it gets to the guys that count!

Make a good plea for what you want and why you see it as needed on Wondir and I’ll back you up. If you think it’s a good idea to have at Wondir let me know, I’ll probably agree with you. But if you don’t voice your opinion you’ll never get heard.

So post what you like here or feel free to email me at BondHunter@gmail.com and I’ll pass it on to the staff at Wondir?

Now we all know there’s things we would love to see either added or updated on Wondir! This is your chance…maybe your last chance…why not post a suggestion or two, or a whole page!!!

Don’t be shy, aim for the bull’s-eye!!

Tell them what you REALLY think needs to be updated! I know these people listen.

If you want it, suggest it. If you want it and DON’T suggest it, then please don’t be one of the first to complain when it isn’t set up. Trust me, Wondir listens to it’s users and regulars. So, VENT, SUGGEST, OFFER IDEAS!

Till later…Bond Hunter over and out…love you all! Be Happy, Be Safe, but MOST of all…BE YOURSELF!!!

WTF is a "WIDGET"?

2005-07-26T03:45:00.000-04:00

Yahoo! has just bought a company that makes, of all things.....yes......Widgets?

Gotta be the coolest things I've discovered recently...they even have an RSS feed reader!

Wanna know everything about everything? They've got a widget for that!!!

Check it out!!

No link, No Post, Just A rememberance of Jonnie B

2005-07-25T20:01:00.000-04:00

Nine and 1/2 years ago on the 26th of December the world lost its most beautiful angel...

We still remember JonBenet...and always will

Rest in peace baby girl, your killer WILL be found!

Interview With The Search Engine

2005-07-24T01:35:00.000-04:00

If you like computer humor than you HAVE to read this

http://www.satirewire.com/features/satire-jeevesinterview.shtml

Blinkx Gives Users Their RSS TV

2005-07-20T15:28:00.000-04:00

Nice article for you RSS Fans out there:

Startup indexes search terms, then notifies users when matching content is available.

Juan Carlos Perez, IDG News Service
Tuesday, July 19, 2005

San Francisco-based startup Blinkx has announced its multimedia search engine will be able to notify users whenever it indexes content that matches a term the users previously searched for.

The RSS alert system, called SmartFeed, is expected to go live on Blinkx's Web site on Tuesday. After users enter a search term on Blinkx TV, they will get the option of setting up an RSS alert for it. Blinkx TV delivers the alerts to the user's Really Simple Syndication aggregator service as text links to the multimedia content.

Users can opt to receive content alerts for any search term from all or some of Blinkx TV's more than 30 audio and video channels, which include BBC News, Fox News, CNN, Bloomberg Television, NBC, MSNBC News, ABC, and ESPN, said Suranga Chandratillake, Blinkx's co-founder.

Media Everywhere

Blinkx also plans to make available the application programming interface for SmartFeed so that developers can incorporate it into their own Web sites and software, he said. Those using the API for personal purposes will not have to pay anything, while commercial developers will have to request a license for it, he said. There will be a section of the Blinkx site devoted to SmartFeed developers, according to Chandratillake.

In addition to indexing multimedia content from commercial providers, Blinkx TV also serves up amateur audio and video collected from the Web at large, as well as podcasts.

Blinkx TV uses speech recognition and transcription capabilities to index not just audio and video files but the spoken parts of those files. This means that Blinkx TV is able to deliver the precise clip that contains the term the user is searching for, as opposed to just pointing the user at, say, an hour-long clip without indicating where in it the desired segment appears.

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

2005-07-15T02:51:00.000-04:00

Stupid Is As Stupid Does:
The Forrest Gump Syndrome On Wondir.

Mama always said “Stupid is as stupid does”

One of the most memorable lines in the movie Forrest Gump. But, how does it apply to Wondir?

Oh you’d be surprised…

Ever had a poster who just repeatedly asked the same question over and over and over again?

We all have. But how do you handle it?

Me, I repost the same answer I gave the first time.

But every now and then we’ve all had the poster who refuses to even acknowledge you or anyone else, except if you post what they WANT to hear.

There are people out there that only want you to back-up what they want to hear. If they don’t want to hear it, they’ll ignore you, most likely give you a zero on the ratings and keep posting until someone says what they really want to hear.

As annoying as it is, we all have to learn to live with it, post what is your hearts best response, open and honest and truthful, and move on.

There are people who wallow in their unhappiness and want you, me or anyone to be their backbone.

“Tell me what I want to hear…”

Sorry, I’ll tell you want you need to hear, what you may not want to hear and on occasion I’ll tell you what you want to hear…If you’re right.

If they are registered users you get to know these people, but most of them just want the instant gratification and they’re gone…the dreaded WGuest.

But some might stick around, how do you handle them?

Not easy, but monitor them, read their posts…see their responses…maybe they’ve learned from us, or at least become a little more open-minded to other possibilities. If you can achieve that, take a bow, you’ve worked Wondirs…

The main thing is to not get too bogged down on one post (Yeah, I’m a GREAT one for giving that advice…post on Wondir, spend 6 months on AIM in the same convo). Don’t let them steal your joy and your motivation. We’ve all here to help, or we should be…and on a personal note again, if you aren’t on Wondir to help…GO AWAY, you’re just part of the problem.

Be true to yourself and what you believe, post with your head and your heart and don’t let this contagious disease make you its next victim.

Next Up:
If You Can’t Fix It Duct It, If You Can’t Duct It…BLOG IT: Wondir Blogging!

To Register or Not: That Is The Question (Part 2 of Many I Suspect)

2005-07-12T02:09:00.000-04:00

I linked to the original message but you have to be a member to see it so I'll repost it here for those who don't Yahoo...

Topic: Wow! Someone agrees with me that anyone should be able to answer at Wondir! (in regards to a poll that left me as the only one who thought anyone should be able to post answers to questions at Wondir.)

Now for the meat of the post....

/me does a little dance

It was lonely being the 1 sitting by myself for so long.

To whoever posted:

/me sings

It's you and me against the world.......(Helen Reddy version)

Sometimes it feels like you and me against the world...

But seriously...

I'm looking into several possible options on this issue cause I can see both sides.

There's ideas like a "trial" membership, which has great potential, but is open to abuses...there's a "free membership" that requires someone out of Wondir to read the replies and either allow them or not, another possible abuse issue and it takes tooooooooooo long considering the volume Wondir does now and what it can and WILL do in the future.

Another idea is more moderators...but how many of us are really out there and want to play "cop" all the time, it kind of takes us away from what we are all at Wondir for...the questions!

Yet another is "requiring I.D." which is so riddled with flaws I can barely believe I typed it with a straight face....NUFF SAID!

What we have now, works for now, we all know it will change, and probably within the next 6 to 12 months.

For better? We hope!

For worse, God forbid.

But this is no different than the problem with the Mature Category. I mean GOD forbid kids find out the TRUTH about sex....

Which I am more worried about because it it way more abused and has way more possibilities for SERIOUS abuse, than WGuest clients.

The solution lies with US...

Together with the WonDirful (darn that slipped)*winks at Allen*, people at Wondir and the input we get from Allen, Matt and Cindy, I think there can be a realistic and workable option for both the Registered accounts and the Mature Category problems.

But, before we cut people, including kids, off from getting the help they want and at times NEED, we need to look carefully at this issue and where we see ourselves in a year, or two, or ten.

Do we really want to be sitting here cutting and pasting from Wikipedia all night long?

Or do we really want to reach out on the rare occassions and really make a difference?

If I could give you a list of the teens and preteens that I have helped online, thanks to Wondir, you'd be shocked. These are kids I keep in touch with, and a lot of parents that I keep in touch with who are very glad that Wondir is there and that someone stepped up and was willing to help when their child asked for help with a problem.

Realize that each and EVERY answer you post on Wondir can change alife. More often than you believe is possible!

Just a little for you to chew on for a few days...I'll have more rants for you later as you already know...

But as for you and yours....

Be Happy, Be True, Be Honest....but MOST of all....BE YOURSELF!

Bond Hunter ~ Ken

*Message first posed on Wondirland Yahoo Group then to my blog...available on the links page of this Group.

Google Teams Up With T-Mobile!

2005-07-11T23:51:00.000-04:00

Seems like Google never sleeps...Full internet access on your Cell Phone? Google Home Page? Gotta love them boys and girls over at Google!

Not to mention their stock broke $300 a share!

Personally I'm holding out for $500 if they don't do a 4-1 split.