Walking It Out

Rip Tides (and the lifeguard)

2014-06-22T17:02:00.000-05:00

Just one of those summer days of being mom with 8 kids in all stages of school age and younger. Some were off to a job or a friends house. Another had plans to be picked up by a friend and their parent I didn't know well AFTER I would be gone already with the 4 I was taking with me. It had me more than a little on edge so I was praying in the spirit about it. Except that when I would stop long enough to hear what I was praying about, it kept coming back around to me and the 4. That was odd to me because I figured the ones with me were right there in my care...the others were not so I wanted extra protection on their behalf you know?

This was when we were not all armed with cell phones and all that instant communication potential.

We were on our way to THE BEACH and THE ZOO picnic lunch, double stroller, diaper bag, bathing suits, sunscreen, beach towels...you get the picture if you are a mom of even one child. Enter the storm. Not long lived, but enough to close the beach a while and send us to the zoo first and perhaps only the zoo.

Eventually though, it was deemed "safe" for opening the beach and we were delighted to head that direction next. Lydia and Martin were released to wade in the water about knee to waist deep only to the sand bar while I proceeded to sunblock Abe and Lily. Sunblock the back. Look up and out. Sunblock the little face. Look up and out, in the rhythm of a mom tending and watching her little flock. Look up and out...Martin was missing! The feeling of dread hits me as I type these words. "Where is he?" I mouth to Lydia, her beautiful blue eyes large and fringed with still dry blond hair because she was still only about waist deep. Young hands of a 10 year old half lifted in that expression matching her desperate words mouthed back "I don't know".

Praying, grabbing Abe and Lily, running to the shore and looking with Lydia in the longest time warp of seconds...Some how I became aware of a situation down the beach with the life guards bringing in a boy...my 8 year old son...alive bless God!

Here is what I remember my son telling me. An undertow pulled him under and swept him down the beach (yes that shallow and near to shore).
"I knew I was drowning but I thought to lift my hand up"

When he lifted his hand it so "happened" he was right next to a life guards boat! He was pulled up and out to safety!

A couple of things I take from this now that it is a memory...

One is the whole thing of my kids are safe if they are with me.
Well surely they are most times but the Holy Spirit makes intercession and prays for those things we do not know. That day the Holy Spirit was interceding for me and my kids...the ones who were with me and would be needing His help even though they were with me.
American King James Version
But you, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost,
Jude 1:20

Another is this picture.
Sometimes circumstances or choices in life or the enemy of our life, sweep us under and far from our place...
If we will think to LIFT OUR HAND to the One Who inhabits the praises of His people, we will be lifted out by the One Who Guards Our Life...

Enjoy summer. Don't be afraid of the beach (but respect that water!). Pray in the spirit. Count your blessings...Know you are loved by the One who desperately wants lost sons and daughters recovered...and if you are a found one or a saved one join Him in rescuing the others.

Feast, Fast (or famine)

2013-12-16T09:23:00.000-06:00

Something about scarcity can make a thing more valuable. Take gold for instance. We wear bits of it and it has value but in heaven we will walk on it since the streets are made of it. We don't treasure asphalt (unless it is missing from our streets) but never enough to pay to wear it.

The feasting we are fortunate enough to participate in for most people in our country, allows us to enjoy lots of our favorite things whether it is food or fun or ability to be working to earn the means to get those things.

I think that the idea of fasting something is that it has value to us but we want to show
that the thing we are intentionally fasting from is less valuable than what we are fasting for. Like to hear from God more clearly on a matter. And maybe the time I would be spending eating would be spent praying for others or meditating on God's words to me from His book.
But sometimes I fast from the wrong thing like fresh reading of His word. Don't get me wrong, remembering and thinking on his word is good and something to be doing, but really I don't like eating stale food when it comes to what I am putting in my mouth. I need to freshen it up even as much as I like to eat leftovers for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Kind of like when we pray give us this day our daily bread...Jesus being the bread of life is what I need daily...remember He is the word of God so meeting with Him in His book and in prayer feeds me on a deeper level that affects all of me...
And now that I think about it more, fixing a good meal to enjoy just takes some time and effort. I love reading but reading a novel, reading how to or informational books even books about the Bible all take little effort for me. There is something different about the Bible. It engages me on so many levels. It is not just a book. It is what God tells us it is...Words he was inspiring men to write...words that are a discerner of my heart (yikes!), a two edged sword, Spirit and LIFE, a mirror, bread, a light and lamp, a revealer of WHO GOD WAS, IS and WILL be, who WE are and more...yeah a lot going on when reading that book...it is more effort than a novel.

Then there is famine. I have not ever experienced famine. There are times I have had scarcity of some things and that was hard for me but true famine never. That happens in many places in the day we live in which is why relief efforts are established to participate in. When times were tight for us, I would remind God of His word that I have never seen the righteous forsaken nor his children begging for bread. I knew I was not righteous on my own scale of good things but because I believe He gave His life to make me that way. Or I would remind Him of the time He multiplied the few loaves and fish from a little boys lunch for feeding thousands and surely I could trust Him to take what I had and make it enough for the 10 of us.

But the Bible tells us of times of famine. There were 400 years of no one hearing from God before Jesus was born...that is a famine of His word. Apparently "we don't know what we've got til it's gone" as the old song goes. And then in the FULLNESS of time God sent His Son Jesus, Immanuel (meaning God With Us). He showed up not just as a whisper in a prophets heart to be spoken aloud. But in that baby's cry, as the Word of God made flesh dwelling among us, born of a Virgin, in a stable in Bethlehem (which means house of bread. Interesting the bread of life would be born in the house of bread!)

Make time to hang out at His table this season. He loves you and wants to BE WITH YOU.

Rolling Eyeballs (and porcupines)

2013-09-14T07:41:00.000-05:00

When did this happen to me? How did this activity sneak in? Lately I have caught myself rolling my eyes!!! And the worst thing is that it is at things my husband would suggest or ask! Wow! Have I been doing this all along but only now become aware of it?

I have noticed that since we began Walking It Out Marriage Counseling I seem to have escalated in undesirable behavior... but maybe it really is that I feel more accountable, more visible...just plain and simple more aware.

I realized the other day when I was behaving in an EGR manner (Extra Grace Required) that sometimes the pressure is on when a new endeavor begins. Add to that a number of disruptive crisis type circumstances with several that seem ongoing, coupled with fatigue quite possibly created by said circumstances and the tendency is to become a porcupine with rolling eyes type personality. All meant to keep people at a distance and hide myself though not consciously doing so. For instance I do not think a porcupine thinks about putting its quills out nor does a skunk think hard and long before letting loose with that marked Peppy Le Pew fragrance. It is automatic when perceived danger is on. In my case being asked to do one or several more things has the effect of danger I guess.

Now this is a cute little porcupine. But get a full grown one upset and beware! They can inflict quite a bit of damage!
So I don't have quills to speak of, but I do have a tongue and body language that can be damaging and even more long lasting. Yikes!

I am not excusing my behavior really, just being aware that it is happening and that it indicates change is needed. Not just catching my rolling eyeballs as they are making an escape, but changing a few things in life that I may be saying yes to that I should say no to. Not adding new things and more new things on top of all the already there things. Some of the already there things need to be let go of or rearranged. It's a song sung by many who are time management people. It is wisdom really.

Can I just point out to you who have had babies or been in on a delivery that when in the transition stage of childbirth, everything else is set aside to get that baby born! Think about it.There is a plan to have the other kids watched, your place at work handled, meals brought in, a room prepared, extra people to assist which can all COST something mind you and still the process is intense even while it brings about a glorious result. So why would I not practice that with other things in my life that require quantities of my attention?

Just as practical and helpful is real communication about how something is affecting me. And then if my behavior calls for it, a very sincere apology. Not just shooting off a quick sorry for poking them with sharp "quill" like stuff either. Sincerity...Because humbling myself to the one who was recipient of my porcupine behavior, usually is stabbing my pride, which is not pleasant. But it bears that fruit of repentance in my life and others around me which is pleasant.

If you see me running I am may be trying to catch run away eyeballs...you can help me...keep me accountable...catch them and hand them back...with no condemnation please...just a gentle smile will do. Hopefully this is a habit broken by this public confession of sorts...

Have a blessed weekend!

Coasting (is never uphill for very long)

2013-04-08T20:22:00.000-05:00

Who doesn't love the exhilaration of coasting downhill especially after an uphill climb? I even think I might I feel like I have earned the coast and want to take full advantage of it. Eventually though the bike, car, skateboard or what ever wheel type used at the moment runs out of power. It may even have enough of an edge to get me a start on the uphill in front of me or if no hill is there get me a decent stretch on the straight way but will not take me far.
Movement to be productive is intentional. Getting further ahead in life. Moving in the life God sets before me is an intentional choice. The law of entropy is the law that things tend to disorder rather than naturally fall into order. Anyone alive can see that by trying to take care of a living space!
What I found out was this: I was coasting on past knowledge and past experience with God. But I didn't catch on to that until I was required to step it up a bit by a daily Bible reading schedule to get me through the Bible in a year. Go figure! A Bible College wanting us to read the Bible diligently, daily, not just in a bite size verse a day.
Over 35 years of being a Christian I had packed in a lot of scripture and sermon material and teaching and devotional reading. That is all good as far as it goes. Over the 50 plus years of living I have also packed in plenty of food of various kinds but it seems my body requires more and is a real baby about it if I even indicate I will be skipping a meal or two.
Imagine my surprise when I discovered how much of the Word of God I had forgotten when I reluctantly began trying to meet this requirement. Yes I was a bit prideful actually not thinking this much daily reading was necessary or even do-able. The high of an awesome worship service and ministry time at church or a conference works a lot like a birthday party. So fun. So great. Many highlights and memories.
But that only takes us so far. Life needs maintenance in all kinds of ways that are not all fun but important just the same to keep it running well and heading toward the goals God gives us.
There is a scripture that is ringing around in me today that I had forgotten about and came up in my reading this week. It seems to fit what I am talking about.

If you have run with the foot men and they have wearied you, how then can you contend with horses? And if in the land of peace in which you have trusted, they wearied you, then how will you do in the floodplain of the Jordan? Jeremiah 12:5

If our strength is small contending with the small issues of life (and I do know there are wearisome issues but we have the Lord Almighty who is powerful and loves us and says He gives us power to overcome all the power of the enemy)...so if we are contending with smaller albeit difficult things in life and having a difficult time standing, HOW can we stand when life seems to fall apart if we have not been eating and exercising not only physically but spiritually? When life is tough and it takes all to maintain is the time we need a reserve built in us already to give us the power move us ahead, not coast to a stop.

Do you know what that place between the two sides of a hill is? A valley. It is hard to see a future in the valley. So fill up your spirits gas tank so you can get up the other side and to the place where you can see again.

This link will take you to some options for Bible reading Schedules. I will be honest I needed accountability and a schedule. There are some portions of scripture I would not have purposely read on my own. I was just too hit and miss with Bible reading not knowing where to begin or just picking a place to read or reading something about the Bible and leaving it at that. Honestly some days I do still miss or miss part of the days reading but I try to catch it back up if possible. This is not about rules, regulations and religion so no beating myself up over it. It is about feeding on the Word of Life.
So the link:
http://www.biblestudytools.com/bible-reading-plan/

Blessings! Lea

Monday Morning (melody making)

2013-02-11T08:27:00.001-06:00

Eyeballing a sink of weekend dishes waiting to be cleaned before 6:00 am, I opened the dishwasher to see it full of the miscellaneous little things, among larger things, waiting to be sorted and put in their places. Where they will wait until they can be used again, to be washed again, to be put away again, to wait to be used again and so on. That put a bit of a pause in me. I still have not tackled it because I don't need any of it immediately because frankly I am blessed enough to have more than enough kitchen stuff to get by and create more dirty dishes.

I have written about conquering mountains of dishes in the past and even though it sounds like I am headed there again, I'm not. Mainly its pots and pans in the sink for now.

So I reminded myself that 16 years ago with a newborn infant and all her siblings ranging up to age 17, I was very sick with something that could have killed me instantly or left me a quadrapeligic unable to do dishes for the family AT ALL. Unable to make meals for them to create dirty dishes AT ALL. But for the touch of God. Now I don't flog myself with that reminder, and neither do I insanely rush to the task with that reminder. But I do put things into perspective with it.

I went about the makings of a Monday morning grateful for the sounds around me from the tasks causing them. The hum and clink of the dryer and clothes tossing around with zippers from a sweatshirt tapping the inside drum. Thankful to have clothes for my family and the ability to keep them clean. Thankful to have a family to clean up after. Thankful to have a home to clean (even though my version of clean may differ from what my fantasy version of clean is.)

The sound of the knife slicing fruit and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for school lunch and the sound of the bagel popping up in the toaster. The wind outside and the hum of the amish heater. Footsteps coming down the hall and down the stairs signaling my family getting ready to leave for their days at school and office. It's the music we don't usually think of as music but making a melody in my heart even so. The music of my monday morning.

God bless your day with the music of the ordinary today..

Making a List (checking it twice)

2012-12-17T14:01:00.000-06:00

My list isn't a "naughty or nice" list. Mine is the "Things To Do" to be ready for Christmas and family and events happening this week and next. And I will tell you I already have 4 lists written since this morning. Some are pretty lengthy. They will also be checked many more times than twice. Can anyone relate?

Mine are not this advanced. They are on lined notebook paper torn out of a spiral binder.

My lists have lists...

I wonder if God has lists. I think in a way He does. His word talks about things that happen in the "fullness of time". Seems to me that means certain things have to happen or be finished first before the time is full. You know, those prophetic words telling a Savior would be coming and what to be looking for, for example.

But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah
Though you are little among the thousand of Judah,
Yet out of you shall come forth to Me
The One to be Ruler in Israel,
Whose goings forth are from of old,
From everlasting.
Micah 5:2

There are well over 50 scriptures telling of Jesus' first coming, some of those speaking of Him being born of a virgin and, as the above states, in Bethlehem. And why He was coming.

He certainly came in a dark time, to a dark place, to be the light of the world. A harsh, jealous, perverse king was in rule commanding people to return at their own inconvenience to the place of their family origin so he could better tax them for his own gain. Ordering the slaughter of all male babies age 2 and under. Can you imagine the terror of the time? Yes a crazy time, under a crazy king.

People were looking and longing for the Savior to come well before God sent forth His son. WE have our time table and God has HIS prophetic time table. Why would it be wrong for Jesus to come before He did? I don't know. But I do know if I do not cook the roast for Italian Beef long enough, it is not going to be fall apart tender. If I do not add the right spices at the right time, it just doesn't taste as good either. It needs the fullness of time.

Many cry out against God for things that are mans own inhumanity to man. Or even satan's orchestrating his steal, kill and destroy strategies and whispering lies about it being God we should blame. People prone to leaning to their own understanding, tend to believe these lies and then speak them loudly against the One who IS LOVE and loves so much He GAVE His own perfect son into the dark world to become it's Savior. If anything, we live in a day when it should be pretty apparent we need the Savior.

God has given the world into the hands of people. People who have opportunity to choose what to do with the gifts He has given us collectively and individually. He does not leave us as orphans however. As He says...He sends His Spirit to live in us to comfort, teach us truth, empower us, to live through us if we will receive Him.

In the fullness of time Jesus Himself will be returning and not as a baby. The cup is looking pretty full to me, but then God knows the fullness of time. Until then let's live ready. Let's live understanding why the baby was born in a manger that Christmas night. Why it was declared by angels, shepherds, wise men, prophets to be a birth like no other...Let's each choose Peace on Earth and Goodwill Toward Men to be on our to do list for every day.

Love each other!

Be The Light (all christmas like)

2012-12-10T13:46:00.000-06:00

I love Christmas lights!

Life lessons not always so much. They do not rank neck in neck with Christmas lights even if I do later appreciate them. So last week I was sick. Something was "going around" evidently, and dropped in to visit me for a while. An unwanted visitor. But actually sometimes, the day after day, morning, noon and night schedule without let up can eventually create an open door for sickness which forces me to *ahem* rest. Perhaps better recognized as collapse.
So today I am thanking God I am much, much better! Up until this past Saturday night however, there was not one speck of Christmas decoration yet adorning our home.
There were and still are boxes of books lining the hallway waiting to be put away in a recently repaired room, which is waiting to be painted before putting in shelves, waiting to be purchased for the boxed books to be put away upon. Beds need to be set back up for family coming in for Christmas ect...Stuff to do stuff to do...

Last week mid recovering, I was picking up a prescription at the pharmacy and on the way home admiring the lights in the yard of a home when I noticed sneaking along in there with the admiration was envy. Maybe I should say "snaking" in there... I was jealous they were so well done and I had none... Suddenly I heard clearly in my spirit "Lea, I want you to BE the light". Yep even heard my name. Well then. Letting my light shine like the One Who came to be the Light of the World. (jealousy puts a bushel over it just so we know and as much as we try not to, we might just tend to do some comparison of who gets what and who gives what at Christmas...OK maybe I am just speaking for myself...but I don't think so)

None of this is a BAH Humbug on Christmas..I will still decorate and enjoy how my home is during this season. I will be happy to be giving and getting gifts. I love that I will have more of my family around for several days!!! I think it is still a beautiful time to magnify the LORD and what Christmas means for us all, the gift of God to us.

Yesterday was our Sunday to minister at one of our local Nursing Homes. Both my friend and my husband prompted me to share this little experience with the ladies and gentlemen who were attending that afternoon.
As I was telling my story, I started seeing each of us in the room as part of a string of Christmas lights. No not transfigured but each person representing a light...Ever had a string of lights where some just don't light up? Or maybe just one has gone out so the whole string stops lighting or half a string? I was seeing God wants each of us to be the light that shines in darkness. One itty, bitty Christmas light bulb doesn't do much on it own, but a whole bunch of itty, bitty lights strung together does, especially when they are connected to an outlet turned on. (Kind of like the vine and the branches theology Jesus talks about.) Don't under estimate your importance in the scheme of things. Your life matters. Your light shining matters. Your living for Him matters. Your words matter. Your loving others matters. Your joining and belonging to a church matters.
Have a very Merry Christmas and remember to be the light!

Sometimes (before 10:30 am and beyond)

2012-11-19T12:48:00.000-06:00

Realizing that more people pay attention to me than I may be aware of at any given moment...and that is not said pridefully but because of the place I have as a leader at church..so it comes with the territory..I am about to whisper something to you readers that makes me feel like not a good leader but none the less I will forge on...
Sometimes in the morning before church, I get really, really mad at my husband! So angry .. Whew! Yesterday was one such morning. I won't tell you why. Sorry. I guess I still think I was right yet am not trying to get anyone to take sides. He thinks I was wrong so there we are. And frankly he was not angry, I was. So whats a God loving person to do in such a case? And especially when said pink person is supposed to open the church service in prayer and most certainly needs a right spirit to do that and set the tone we open with.

First I need to recognize the purposes of God are bigger than my perception and offended feelings so forgive as He (God) forgives me. No getting around that truth. No matter how long we walk the walk, forgiving remains part and parcel of it. Yes even 7 times 70..which was feeling like a tall order this particular Sunday morning even though we had not reached 70 offenses before 10:30 am. But it does seem sometimes, when I am working to lay aside an offense and move forward, the spot is still tender and the supposedly forgiven offender can not do much right in my eyes for a while and seems to poke the tender place intentionally or not, which I am guessing was the experience of the disciples as well or they would not have asked the "how many times shall we forgive" question in the first place.

Second I also need to remember we have an enemy who is all about stealing, killing and destroying and is the father of lies. Certainly one of his devices is about stealing, killing and destroying unity among God's people and part of that is through lies. ll Corinthians 2:11 says we are not to be ignorant of his devices. As Jesus plainly states "a house divided can not stand". Psalms 133:1 tells us it is good when we dwell together in unity. Look at the example of the natural law of Synergy (God created natural laws you know)...

"At a state fair there was an event where horses were being hitched to wagons to see which horse could pull the most weight. Two horses pulled 9,000 pounds. They then hitched these two strongest horses together on the same wagon. The horses didn’t pull 18,000 pounds – a mere doubling of their individual efforts. Instead, together, in true teamwork, they pulled 35,000 pounds. Now that’s synergy!"

If we stay in unity as much as possible, so much more can be accomplished.

Third I began picturing myself standing and a large concrete block was at my feet. It was at best the stumbling block of offense. At it's worst it was the beginning of a thick block wall to divide me off from my husband but also from most other good things in life.

I felt directed by the Holy Spirit to kick it to the side and walk on by. And do the same with any offense that came after.

Fourth I told you we each still thought the other was wrong. That happens sometimes doesn't it? What in the world happens then? Well in the world we do know...bitterness, ugliness, hurtful words, family rifts for generations...so, what in the life of a Christian happens then?

I had already expressed my viewpoint to him. Because I do that. Maybe too much. But again I r e a l l y believe I was right. But so does he think he was right...sigh... So here is what I did. I cast him with his contradictory opinion and my care (wounded, offended feelings and inability to change things by words or knowing the ugly tactic of cold shoulder -tempting as that may be-would not make them better) upon the Lord who cares for both of us and has the ability to turn the heart of the king of a nation, so surely my husband's heart as well. In prayer you know, not physically throw him around as if I could anyway.Was it simple? Did I pull this off seamlessly? Well no actually...some people knew I was struggling with something but at least I was struggling to do the right thing with all my menopausal emotions wanting to run at nasty high speed.

Fifth At the risk of sounding like I am making a formula out of all this, I have numbered my process but there is no formula really. It is a walk with Jesus and staying in the light of the narrow path to avoid destruction...I passed my thoughts through the scripture grid. It is the place set up internally from learning the Word of God. Do my words and actions pass through or do they get stopped on the mesh of truth?

"Therefore, laying aside all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy and all evil speaking..."1 Peter 2:1a

"Let every man (woman) be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not work the righteousness of God... be doers of the word not hearers only...let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgement. For we all stumble in many things. If any one does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able to also bridle the whole body...All from the book of James

Leader or not we are all human beings. We are not perfect beings. We are not going to always see eye to eye in relationships. And I don't always get to be right and get my way. We are in the process of change and attaining the high call in Christ Jesus. But this morning I was watching a program of leaders who were pretty vulnerable about behind the scenes trials while needing to hold it together by the grace and power of the Holy Spirit when moving from the back room to the pulpit. They were not making an excuse for sin. And I had just written this blog but not posted it. We do get angry. Jesus acknowleged that. His word says be angry but in your anger do not sin. The above is how I processed anger in order to not sin. But all in all what I heard today was "Jesus loves me". In spite of it all and in spite of it being unresolved even still, so having mixed emotions going on, Jesus loves me not because I do it all the right way or am always right but because He just does. And for that I am thankful!

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Pressed Down (shaken, running)

2012-10-15T21:08:00.001-05:00

Ever feel a bit pressed down? How about shaken together? Running over by any chance? Like running away perhaps?

Maybe the journey of life shakes our faith going along some paths that we didn't anticipate...there are some promises we have been hanging on to that we didn't get a hands on answer to yet. Or we have confidence shakers speaking into our lives. We might feel like we are settling for something less than God's best. And maybe we are, though sometimes we don't always know God's best even when it stares us in the face because we suffer from the "grass is always greener on the other side" syndrome. And sometimes it is because the journey to the promised land is a journey through some wilderness.

Seems to me I always have to remind myself to be thankful..even when things are going smoothly for a while. You know getting comfortable and forgetting how grateful I am for where God has me. That actually might be a great fertilizer to the grass I don't think is as green as that growing on the other side. And honestly we don't know what has gone on behind the scene to make it so green. It is a whole lot better to be running over with intentional thankfulness, than going natural with frustration, misery and complaining.

See, I know there are things that are incredibly frustrating and hurtful. Stuff that makes us feel like running away. As fast as we can! Or pray like the Psalmist to have wings like a dove so I could fly away.

Those days that Calgon just won't do it for me. I am not suggesting to not acknowledge that and try to just pretend those life things are not there. A mom with sick kids can be completely overwhelmed at times. Broken appliances are inconvenient at least. Unexpected bills and a shorter pay check can bring despair. Broken relationships can be devastating.

Those are the times to pull on the Holy Spirit who is given to us to be our Helper...the word is Ezer in the Hebrew text meaning help, aid or sustainer, a person or thing that gives help, relief, aid, etc. as in lifesaver in my time of distress. (which as a side note is what woman is meant to be to man from the time of creation; an Ezer...I found that to be eye opening)

Jesus said "and I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever..." John 14:16

He also said "But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all the things I said to you. Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:26-27

If I were a betting woman, I would bet you thought this was going to be about the verse that tells us to give and it will be given to us pressed down shaken together running over... did you? That dear readers is a writing for another time...remember to pray in the Spirit because scripture tells us He makes intercession for us praying for the things we don't even know we need. And tells us when we pray in the language of the Holy Spirit we strengthen ourselves.
I Corinthians 14:4; Jude 20

I guess tongues is a touchy issue for some. I am not one to try to dive into topics controversial..but I can't ignore that praying in tongues has been part of my walk with God from the time I gave my life to Him 35 years ago. I happen to also suspect that something God means for our help and strength is also something the devil would try to steer us away from by saying "it's not for today" or "that's from the devil" or "only some people can but not you"...you know things like that..sure I have seen people misuse the gift. But just because someone else drives their car crazy doesn't mean I should not drive. So start your engines and get praying!

Your Heavenly Father gives GOOD gifts. If you are asking Him, He isn't going to slip you something from the father of lies.

Walking on Monday (what I hear on sunday)

2012-10-01T09:36:00.000-05:00

The whole idea behind my first Devotional Blog Diapers Dishes and Devotions and then starting this one Walking It Out stemmed from wanting to practically apply the word of God and the love of God (His toward me and mine and toward Him) to everyday living. Sometimes though I seem to hit a bit of a wall. Maybe we could say I might pick and choose what parts to walk when. Or maybe I am just a bit confused on HOW to walk it out. Maybe my kids are sick. Or maybe I am. Or maybe I am continually offended by someone and not knowing what to do with the emotions of that even knowing I am supposed to forgive as I am forgiven. So do my emotions mean I haven't forgiven?

See what I mean?

I remember "counseling" a mom of teen age boys about something when I only had very young toddlers and not only that had never been teen age boy myself! There is something in knowing the word of God is TRUTH because you know and trust that to be so. There is something else when you have lived that truth for your self and your family when life has thrown some stuff at you that looks contrary to the word that says "by His stripes you WERE healed" or looks more like a barren land than the one flowing with milk and honey...though as a mom the milk and honey may be all over our furniture, floors, cars, us and our kids.

You know the Doctor might prescribe something and say take one 3 times a day. Or quit smoking. Or walk 20 minutes a day 3x a week. If I just look at that instruction. If I just look at the doctors handwriting and muse to myself and all who will listen "Look at that Doctors handwriting! Isn't it awful!" But never get it filled and follow instructions, I am probably going to be worse off for that. On the other hand, if I follow instructions and take it fully, I am more likely to get healthy results. And frankly I will probably not even begin to see immediate results. (I am not too sure why I would go to a professional that I trust for something and then decide I know better than they do anyway)

That is a pretty good picture of me and the word of God. What if I just hear the word. What if I am not a doer just a hearer like the book of James says it. What if I happen to read it in the old King James and say "that language! That is so archaic! Who can even understand it?" Then never took the time to follow its instructions. Or attempted to a couple of times but didn't see immediate results so decided "It isn't for today. It doesn't work for me."

What if I tried to potty train my kids just one day and have 5 accidents to deal with? Should I give up trying to direct where they are supposed to go and just assume they won't be in diapers when they are adults and let the process all run its own course?

And I am positive Olympic contestants were pushed and trained and they are not ones who quit at the first sign of pain or opposition.
Now see this woman making contact with the baseball? That is us with the word of God against whatever the enemy of our souls may throw our way. We need to skillfully use Gods promises and knock lies and attacks OUT OF THE PARK. Now I don't know about you but skill with a bat does not come natural to me. In fact I prefer not to play the game. However we really don't get to just tell the devil "um I don't like to play that game. no thanks".

King David before he was ever king, was king in training for a long while. He started as a kid watching the family sheep. During that time he practiced his harp and worshipped. He practiced using his sling shot. He killed a lion and a bear. All this before he approached Goliath. See he took time to know his God. He also took time to develop skill. When He approached Goliath he did not trust in his own strength though he had a measure of it by then. It wasn't his first time to lay hand on a sling shot and he refused to use the armor he was unfamiliar with. He spoke what he believed to Goliath and those who doubted...Who is this uncircumcised Philistine!?! Everyone else thought that Philistine was something..But to David that Philistine was eclipsed by the God Most High Mighty in Battle! And wow, boldly said "THIS DAY the LORD will deliver you into my hand, and I will smite you and cut off your head" and much more did he say and then he proceeded to do just what he declared that the people would know God does not deliver by sword or spear but the battle was His..

Well how did I end up here from where I started? In general, Sunday sermons are not just for Sunday. It is part of getting equipped for life there but one time a week in the word and prayer only goes so far. We need to take time to know God ourselves in our day to day life. Let's take the Gos-pill,if you will, on a regular basis according to instructions, meditating on it day and night that it may go well with us and we would have favor and good understanding. No problems? No, I won't promise that, but far less problems and the way to overcome them.

Monday Musings (and the re-po man)

2012-09-24T12:13:00.001-05:00

I so need Monday's. I think I have even posted it before. Like some people want their Friday or Saturday to get here, for me it's Monday. Of course I do not have the added thing to do of clocking in at work on Monday unless I have scheduled an appointment with a client. My weekends are generally so packed and not with things to amuse or refresh but normally it is with thingstodo (albeit usually with people I at least like and many times love),that by Monday I am exhausted. (I will interject that this weekend I just had was bust out exciting and refreshing! But it is not the one I am writing about for now) Well I can examine all that and figure out where the driven-ness comes from but that is not the reason for this post.
It was a Saturday night while I was standing in an excessively long check out line winding all the way into and on down the frozen food isle with a basket full of sale matched with coupon items, when a young man stepped behind with with just 2 cans of yams. He was on an errand for a friend. I learned that after I offered to let him ahead of me. "You will be checked out before I can finish unloading my cart." It was the evening before Easter so the place and lines were packed with last minute shoppers. He declined for the time being but somehow started talking to me about his job. Alot about his job. Which he loved by the way. He is the owner of a Repossession Company. He does not just order people to do his bidding but does much of it himself. Even went on to tell me how he finds these low livers who don't pay and just takes the car if its in a parking lot without the person even knowing until they come out and find it gone.

The truth is I had been at one time the recipient of a re-po man visit in a situation that really was unjustly handled. I felt pretty wounded by the experience knowing we had been making very large payments which evidently were not being applied correctly but he was not the person who could actually do anything about that. He was just "doin his job" unsavoury as it may have been. Later we learned the car was sold for less than the value and we were still supposed to pay up! Yeah a painful mess. In spite of all that I was speechless pretty much talking to this second generation re-po man.

That was unfortunate and something I am praying about because I wish I had an on time word for him from God. I kept casting around in my mind about what to say to him that would not seem canned or rote religious words but rather prick and awaken that place in him to the things of God. I became very aware that weekend how many people seem to be sheep without a shepherd. I did not know what to say to bring it around. I mean Jesus knew. He would take the woman at the well and identify the real issue beneath the conversation and turn her into the town evangelist. I want that skill. I want to hear the person, hear from God and speak. Or He could find Zaccheus watching from a tree no less, go eat with him and His manner and words so engage Zacs spirit and heart he vowed to return in multiples what he had cheated others out of. To be like Jesus...
As a bit of closure, God has brought us through those awful years where it seemed locust were eating everything we put our hand to as in the book of Joel. Where we needed to trust the God of our hope to sustain us, be our vindicator and restorer. His promise from Isaiah 61:7 is worth reading and holding on to:
Instead of your (former) shame you shall have a twofold recompense; instead of dishonor and reproach (your people) shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double (what they had forfeited); everlasting joy shall be theirs... and much more if you read on in the amplified version. And that is what we have found through our years. God is FAITHFUL! He can be trusted even in times of devestation that seem to come in ocean like waves. He never leaves us nor forsakes us. His delay is not necessarily His denial, but in there is the working of all things together for our good because we love Him and are called according to His purpose. He is building our character. Our foundations must be strong to hold those big things He has planned for us. And we will be continually amazed at what those things are!

Taking The Fence Off (offence)

2012-07-18T17:23:00.000-05:00

There are practical fences.

There are picket fences.

There are privacy fences.

There are fancy fences.

There are fences like this one.

And there are OFFENSES.... I was pondering today my tendency to get offended about certain things and what my response is when I allow that offense not just to happen and roll
away, but to take hold....like a fence post. You know take out the post hole digger and dig deep. Secure the post with cement so it has a firm hold. I do that by dwelling on the offense. And when the next offense comes, why I just set another post and so on, making a fence line. And it is even worse as time goes on because a fence line does get fencing of one sort or another hung on it. And for me it sometimes tends to be the sharp and pointy kind like in the picture above figuratively speaking.

One of the worst things about my offense fence is that it keeps me in too, not just others away. Naturally not everyone should have complete access to my life, making a privacy fence a good thing.

But this OFFENSE...this is how I recognized it in me. I tend most often to be offended by my husband, sad to say, even when he never intended to offend me. This is partly because the making of a good marriage is a process not the instant happily ever after fairy tales we have been surrounded with all our lives and loved. There is process in making the two, one. First of all he is a man. And men are not women and women are not men. So I hear and see things differently than he does. I feel things differently than he does.

Now there is reason for that, making perfect sense, since together we can form a more well rounded picture of things that need to happen in our lives. NOT me vs him. Well in my natural state of being (the Word of God calls it being in the flesh not the spirit), I can take something he says or does and immediately become offended because it isn't how I would say or do it after all. And I must have this innate sense of I am right, you are wrong in me. And perhaps just a good measure of "I want my own way" selfishness still rearing its ugly head.

Sometimes it is so hard to try to tell these things without quick jumping in to say things like "of course sometimes I am right". *Sigh* So back to how I saw it this time though hopefully I am doing less and less of this as the years go by. Some background to the story...

We were watching something one morning and usually it is Christian programing which is an awesome way, a privileged way actually, to start the day. We love it. But the program had ended and before we could change the channel on comes the infomercial. I am sure many people get sucked right into these (I still want to order the Dog Training Kit!!!). However this one was for a product that promised more energy and weight loss by teaching you what foods are best for your body type and instruction on body sculpting using a resistance band. I wanted to change the channel since, not overly overweight, but moderately perhaps, I was not totally keen on watching women who had not had eight babies and were not my age, but it was kind of interesting and then my husband said something like "why don't you take down the number and order that. You would probably feel better and have more energy"

In fairness I had been worn out for quite a while and have some pretty good reasons for that too, but worn out does not feel good, and he was looking in his man sort of way for a solution to fix this for me, besides what nice things he was doing, like bringing me coffee in the morning sometimes or iced juice in the evening.

Does any one have any guesses on how my pink brain took that suggestion? I said something like "Wow, really? Thanks! That is a great idea! You would really order that for me? Maybe I would start feeling better.."

NOPE.

While I do not remember my exact words...there was no profanity just so you know...
I do remember my resistance to the whole thing and being profoundly offended and sure he must think I am old and fat and I flat out refused to make the call. "You want to get it for me?!? You call!" And pink makes it look kind of like I said it somewhat nicely but it was actually a bit frosty. And I left the room.

He made the call.

A couple weeks later the box arrived. I set it aside for two days. Then he started wondering out loud why the stuff had not come yet. I told him it had. Which meant opening the box to find several DVDs, CDs, books, binder, cards, resistance band and so on...Have you ever had to assemble something that came in pieces, like a bike or swing set? You have to be motivated. He tried using the word WE as in WE will feel much better when WE do this...but I was pretty sure there was not going to be a WE figuring this out and that when it was finally assembled it would be ME doing it. And that is how it was, only it was still several more days later. It took time but wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I became a bit intrigued by the test to see what type of food worked best for my metabolism and decided I would give it a try.

So that was about 5 days ago. Today I realized that I am starting to see a difference. Not that I don't want a short mid afternoon nap still if I am hanging around home at that time. But one of the things I realized was that I like the idea that my posture might improve. I had used nursing 8 children as an excuse long enough! (Our youngest is about 16 now) I did not realize it had bothered me because I did not have to look at me slouching my shoulders forward- my husband and others did. I am able to tighten my belt a notch too. Weird. My muscles are so willing to do what muscles are meant to do and I am happy about that. I was never much of an athlete but I did like training at the gym years back. I had forgotten that.

What I realized also, was my tendency to get offended could keep me from something that really is good for me. I can look back and see other instances where this has been true too. You know, because I am offended I can not take even good advice from the one who offended me. I think bitterness is like poison ivy climbing the fence. So best to take the advice from Jesus when his disciples asked how many times they should forgive...like 7 maybe...that does feel like quite a stretch sometimes but we have a life to live and He knows how we should live it best so said "No I say to you 7x70". WOW Lord really?

He just wants to fulfill His promise to FILL my life with GOOD things and staying offended when the inevitable offences come, just does not let them in.

What I Said (what God heard)

2012-06-08T12:28:00.000-05:00

I am wondering how that title comes across because this time it isn't that I said anything bad.
Did you ever hear of "fox hole conversions"? Most likely you have. It is essentially an "if You God, will do such and such then I will do this, that or the other" prayer bargain. Fox hole because it is a soldier in desperate straits that is praying to live and getting out alive will serve God and so on as my husband did when in Viet Nam. (and has endeavored to hold to his end of the bargain as long as I have known him through our thick and thin years of marriage)

They are not always dire circumstances though. Some times we make a statement that we think we are up to living out in our own strength. Like the time before I got married and was so excited by how God provided for Pat and Dede Robertson in the early days of their ministry and for George Mueller as he built orphanages trusting God to supply EVERYTHING for them. I prayed sincerely "GOD I WANT TO LEARN TO LIVE BY FAITH" I think God was just waiting for me to ask and that began quite a journey for us walking with God.

But that is not the exact subject of this writing. This is about another statement I made once upon a time and more than once actually in response to my husband wanting to build an orphanage on our property...

I want to defend myself so much here because I am about to sound hard hearted and if you really know me you know I am not! I knew an orphanage was BEYOND my strength and ability and emotional stores to do. See, I saw myself as being the mom of all of them, when I was already the mom of our own 8 biological children plus other endeavors that included other children. Soooooooo here is what I would say:

"If God ever brought a baby to my door that needed me, you know I would be on that and take care of that baby! I just do not feel up to purposely setting out to take care of more. I am at my limit."

I guess sometimes we do not know our own limit as well as God does...He says in Isaiah 54 after all "expand the place of your tent" among other things like the children of the desolate woman will be more than those of the married woman.

The likelihood of that baby on my doorstep was so slim. Or so I thought. Then one day God knocked on my door. One of my sons brought home the news a baby was on the way through a relationship that was not going to continue between himself and the baby's mom in a way that would have the two of them raising this little one together in marriage.

Knock, knock. "Lea, are you listening? Because I, God, was."
Knock, knock. "Lea, are you even looking out the window to see Who is at the door?"
Knock, knock. "Lea, I, God, have a special delivery for you. You already verbally agreed to it. It has to be signed for though, this one can not be left outside the door."

Sometimes packages don't come packaged the way we like, but when we open them we find the most precious gift inside!

So as time passed the little girl in the God box joined our home. Starting with a nursery crib graduating to the bottom of the bunk bed with Minnie Mouse comforter and sheets, toys, princess clothes, diapers on to potty training, pacies and bottles on to sippy cups, being fed to feeding herself. Toddling to running, using a scooter, singing songs from her car seat every where she went. Helping feed the dogs, cat and fish. Sitting with Grandpa while he watched Joseph Prince or Bill Winston and asking a continuous stream of questions all the while.

Oh sure the crabby moments were there too. Times of sickness and toddler tantrums.We know life is not all glossy and airbrushed. I will admit I was tired. I felt guilty being tired. I had been a SAHM almost entirely while raising our own kids when they were young. Even with her daddy on hand, he did have to work. Even with Grandpa and my daughter involved they both had full days too. Even with one week a month trips to maternal family who also love her. So we enrolled her in Mini Miracles Daycare. We all adjusted and she was like a little sister to the kids we had left at home- well except for her daddy of course- he was Daddy. And look what we got:

I know, she is adorable right?

Then a career change came about meaning she and her daddy were moving out of state.

That was last week. I am really trying to get my emotions to line up with my trust, that God has a plan for her that fits with the plan He has for my son. The "strange" thing is that I spoke on Mothers Day at our church about the life circumstances that reposition people and place them smack in line with their life purpose to unfold. Like Jocabed and her baby Moses. Like Hannah and baby Samuel. Like Joseph the dreamer, the slave, the prisoner, to the second in command in Egypt. Like Naomi and Ruth. Like Esther.

And the thing is the circumstances they experienced were hard and even frightening!
The kind we want to avoid, but they are the kind God is so good at redeeming and bringing beauty for ashes and joy to replace the heaviness. The kind that we are dangerously close to becoming bitter from if we don't trust He has better than bitter for us.

So God was listening to what I said. He took me up on it. He had a suprise package for me. A special delivery. One He knew I would love. It just didn't have an expiration date stamped on it letting me know how long it would last after opening. There I was once again living like I had years and years of hands on time when really what I had was a few very short years to lay a foundation for others to lovingly build on. You know sometimes the gift does come wrapped in way we are not very excited about at first but it is a GIFT. What we do with that gift becomes our gift back to God.

February's Shoes (one size fits all)

2012-02-01T00:51:00.000-06:00

Could you imagine a one size fits all shoe? Yeah, me either. At least not if its made from man made materials. Or what about a shoe that fits every occasion? Is there such a thing? Not really, though some of us probably could do with fewer shoes than we have in our possession, it is wonderful to have shoes that fit the activity and outfit.

This being the month of February upon us, and that means the Valentines holiday, I thought I would write about something I heard being discussed on a program. Honestly I don't know which one it was or even who the speaker was or I would give them due credit. The topic was marriage. You would think after 34 years of marriage I would have heard all I needed to know about the relationship wouldn't you? And especially from someone YOUNGER than me. (Pride you may lower your ugly head!)

I have also lived long enough, and Marty and I have been married long enough, to know not every day is a happily ever after day. Some days are just ordinary days. Some days are the kind that make you wonder if you will ever get merging your life with the person you have committed yourself to, until death do us part, right. Some days you feel the bliss of contentment with your marriage, and some days you choose contentment. So.....

On to what the speaker was saying. She said we should be giving our spouse one compliment a day. Intentionally. I do not remember if there were statistics involved about what kind of difference this makes, but the challenge stuck with me.

What would life be like if I gave my husband a compliment a day? Every day. You know, looked for the good. Not default to the things that I might dwell on due to my tendency to get offended or just irritated and hide myself away, snapping and snarling at him if he comes close to my hide away. Or putting an Ice Wall up to further prevent communication. I don't think I am as bad as all that sounds, at least not for the most part.

Oh, not that the sinful nature of me might not bring it to the brink and if not for the grace of God manifest itself at times...But do I tend to dwell on the negative. I am kind of that way. Except not so much in any relationship but my marriage. Hmmmm. Why would I be gracious and encouraging to those who have not invested so many years of their life in mine, then not give that much and more to one who has? Even if I don't like everything that has transpired in our entire history together.

Why am I keeping a record of wrongs? Who ever gave me that right? And gosh do I want someone keeping a record of MINE to quickly page through and find the appropriate thing to hold a magnifying glass over to remind me of? Why no, I do not.

Just what would happen if I take the challenge I am challenging us all with now? I am about to find out and in less than 30 days (because this is the short month...the one that brings the bill cycle around more quickly than the others but I guess also the pay check)

So lets do this thing! Are you on board? If you are not married, what about complimenting your kids, or co-worker or parent. You get it. I will check in with you and you check in with me and see how we are doing. We are slipping on our walking in love shoes this month and truly one size does fit all. Remember one deliberate compliment a day starting today. Let's get started...

Roadside Boxes (and blankets)

2012-01-11T13:30:00.000-06:00

I needed a box. A big one!

Yesterday I mentioned this to the LORD in pondering the blanket drive we were starting again this year at Living Waters Worship Center to help supply area shelters. We had done this the previous year and I believe we ended up with around 78 or more brand new blankets to share among 4 shelters.

In my mind this past Christmas season we already had a number of projects going on to help people in need, so I had decided to not have a "Bring A Blanket" drive. Then someone sorking with a shelter, approached me asking if we would be donating blankets this year. And then another someone and then I was at a Veterans home where a need for blankets for another place was shared....

Well ok then LORD...maybe you do want this happening. Still in all I did not want to burden the congregation and did not even have the ability to help supply them yet either...Then a blanket was given to me in case we were giving blankets to a womens shelter...and then I was approached again..Maybe I just needed my spiritual ears cleaned out! And then I was told 20 hats had just been knit and donated for us to give to the mens shelter. They are now on my desk awaiting their new owners.

So it was announced Sunday that for the next two weeks we would be collecting NewTwin Size Blankets again to deliver to the area shelters. Next, I needed to get a LARGE box to collect them in for this Sunday coming up. And so the pondering...Where am I going to get a box that size LORD? I am picturing stopping at a couple different places to check availability. I really am just not energetic right now..it's winter (yes I know it has been mild so far), my youngest son just moved (glad for him yet still sad you know), my dad has been in the hospital 3 times in 2 weeks, Christmas stuff still not completely down and still some gifts I have not even mailed to my grandkids yet (what a weighty and embarrassing confession that is!), my washer is still broken. Yes. Well in all that, I am still more than a conqueror as Apostle Paul would say...persecuted not abandoned...pressed down but not destroyed...nothing separating me from Gods love...
And I am NOT in a homeless shelter or even close! So coming home from prayer meeting last night lo and behold on the side of Highway 149 is a huge ....go on, you guess...no, not a tiger... not an animal at all, but a box! My eyes opened wide...

As we continued on our way passing it by, I casually said to Marty,
"I need that box".
"Why do you need that box? You don't know what it was used for or if it is even empty and since it is late, I do not want to go check it out".
"OK. But I want you to know that box is an answer to prayer". At least I was pretty sure it was. So I explained myself, we pulled into the driveway, and went inside the house. I got busy and forgot about the box actually.
This morning after taking Lily to school and Adrena to daycare he came in and said,
"The box is still there and it flapped open as I drove past. It's empty. We can go get it if you still want it."

So my partner in some of my ministry endeavors (although sometimes it is the other way around and I am a partner in his) took me back, broke down the very large box, put in in the back of his already loaded with someotherthingsfromme jeep, and took us home before he headed off to work at the office. (Thanks Honey!)

If I needed more signs from God that He has need of blankets for some of His people, this one, providing the box, really clinched it...even so He allowed me to talk at length today with a woman (a friend I had not seen in years) who works with one of the shelters...and so for now this is what we are doing and if you live nearby and want to help over the next couple weeks..Please bring a blanket. Must be new and twin size. Thanks!!! You may drop them off at our church Sunday mornings 88 E US Highway 6 in Valparaiso or even at one of our offices Angel Auto Insurance (RT 6 Hobart or Willowcreek Rd Portage)

Un-Decking The Halls (gettting the decorations down)

2012-01-10T14:11:00.000-06:00

Not ever the quickest to get my decorations up in the first place, I am now faced with taking them down and *sigh* putting them away... In their proper storage bins so they are easy to locate next year. And then up the stairs into the attic. I really love how my house looks when it is Christmas decorated! But now 2 weeks past not so much.

Slowly, and slowly is the key word here, I have been taking things off the walls. Garland and lights are off the banister, careully placed on the couches and coffee tables where they really do not belong. Felt gingerbread people no longer hung on the enormous oven hood WITH CARE because as I write this I realize hanging them there sounds hazardous but if you saw them you would know it wasn't. Penguins off the fake Hibiscus tree in the kitchen. Mini ornaments off the "kid tree" which was at one point stunningly decorated with a slinky and foam flowers and "normal decorations".

So why am I moving slow as molasses on a winters day? Why am I not jumping in to clean this mess up and restore post Christmas order to my home? I do not know. Really. I don't. I think it is because this year unless I want to wait until it is dark outside and temperatures have dropped and I have a school day weary daughter to help, I am doing this alone and it is ALOT of work. I could tell the overcast weather was trying to cast a blanket over my mood yesterday because I started feeling sorry for myself. Ummm yes, that is what it was for real. Feeling sorry for myself. I told myself I was like one of the maids in the movie I had just watched last weekend, "The Help". (See how what we watch can affect our thoughts? I don't think I am the only one with a suseptible brain).

So now that I have vented a bit with this blog..and in light of the sunnier day we have today...and in spite of my low energy level, which there are any number of reasons for...I am going to at least begin pulling the bins into the family room (here known by the knick name the TV Room) and into the Living Room (aka the Fireplace Room). I am pretty sure to have help hauling them upstairs when it is time, although it will probably be with a fair amount of reluctance that they are hauled.

You know that scripture in Proverbs that says "Where no oxen are the stall is clean"? As in: we should be glad to have the stall to clean even though that is unpleasant, since it means we have the oxen to help us produce our livelyhood. Well, in the case of unpleasant other tasks like this (and really comparatively it isn't as bad as shoveling heaping piles of steaming, poopy straw out of an animal stall)... Anyway...as in this case it means I have a home to decorate for Christmas. I have decorations to decorate with and a family to do that for and celebrate with...
So now I have reason to rejoice. See I just needed you all to help me straighten my thinking cap out. Thanks! I am now off to continue un-decking my halls....

Emotions (not responding to logic)

2012-01-05T10:58:00.000-06:00

He just isn't here anymore. Physically that is. My mind climbs the stairs to his room and then remembers all over again. Yesterday he moved. Yesterday I held my tears tight so he wouldn't be embarassed at the airport. My youngest son just 17 moving across the country. A good move. An awesome opportunity. He is with people who love him. I know it. Logic tells me so. Even my spirit tells me so. Ahh but my emotions just do not want to get in line with that today.

So typing and wiping the tears off my cheeks I am grateful for the normal things going on around me. Taking Lily to school. Dishes needing to be done. Annali not feeling well so I get to help with baby Lincoln for a while. A visit to my parents, taking a senior cup of coffee to Dad, who can't drive yet after his TIA last weekend, for his morning McDonalds coffee ritual. Thankful for the milder winter day and the bird feeder my nephew made for us as I hung it up today.

You know Abe wasn't always downstairs all day long, but he was home. When my mind travelled to where different ones of my kids would be, I could place them. So when I would think upstairs to Abe, I could place him there in my mind. I could count on being asked food questions throughout the day... What's for breakfast (or lunch or dinner)? I spent the last two weeks making as many of his favorites as possible knowing he would be leaving soon.

And then "suddenly it came to pass" as one of my favorite passages in the Bible goes...because we seem to waaaaaaaait....at times for the answer to prayer and promises we are given and then suddenly it does come to pass...! With plans put together in an amazingly short amount of time and smoothly I should add, suddenly the day was here to get him to the airport. And leave him there. After he crossed the threshold of scanners and places where only ticketed passengers are allowed to go...the place I could not go...because now the hands on day to day part of raising him was out of my hands.

For this to be hard and sad is not the indication of a hovering controlling mom. It is the normal releasing of a child by a proud, loving, mom who didn't know her time would be up so quickly. One who feels the emptiness there is when a child transitions. I know I will adjust. I know it is a new year and a new season in so many ways. I am not a complete empty nester, thank God. I just love my youngest son and today I miss him. In spite of all I can tell myself. And that is ok.

Turning Swords Into Plowshares

2011-12-02T13:04:00.000-06:00

Driving home after dropping Lily off at school and Adrena at daycare, I was pondering yet again the fierceness of the struggles we have encountered the past couple of months. Almost as if everything we declared was good in our lives met with incredible challenge to prove it was NOT so. Sadly, even to the point where my mom had tears in her eyes as she observed that the children who seemed most openly tied to a walk with God were the ones who struggled the most. It hurt that my mom would have to worry about me. Or that my kids would feel that they have to try to figure out how to solve our problems or that we may be a burden to them as we work through this. That we are even going through some of the things we are going through is embarrassing! That others looking on would not see a "victorious walk in God" but instead a reason to want to run the other way from walking with Him. That frankly I was grasping at straws when it came to the "Why" of all the things. I had no real answers unless I wanted to play the blame game which I found myself playing to some extent.

I know I can look at the past and see where wrong turns were made, with me making my own fair share of them, but isn't GOD BIGGER than all that? Yes, of course He is! He is the author of grace- which means unmerited favor. The favor I do not earn for myself. He is also LOVE. He is also the One who tells me to cast my cares on Him because He cares for me. And He supplies all my needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. He is my peace.

Yet my life was not matching these heart held declarations. Enter the piece of the message we heard this morning by Joseph Prince. Among many things he said was this one that lept to my ears and heart. A leader is formed, a ministry is birthed, in the crucible of fiery trials. That gave me hope. (Not allowance to make excuses for anything we may need to take responsibility for, but hope all the same.)

Definitions of crucible (n)

1.container for melting something: a heat-resistant container in which ores or metals are melted

2.bottom of furnace: the hollow part at the bottom of a furnace where molten metal collects 3.testing circumstances: a place or set of circumstances where people or things are subjected to forces that test them and often make them change

Most of us have been fire walkers at one time or another, of one sort of fire or another. One of my problems tends to be going through a trial and finally getting through it by applying God tools from His holy toolbox (Bible) then putting that tool away thinking I will never need to use it again. These have been the days of needing every tool I ever needed to learn to use. I can not just stare at the tool box and expect the tools to magically march out on their own and start going to work for me. My inward scream and outward crabbiness and dispay of fear are not going to get me very far. In fact that may cause me to lose ground.

Did I learn to speak in faith? I must do that now.
Did I learn to agree in prayer with others and the word of God? I must do that now.
Did I learn to give thanks in everything? I must do that now.
Did I learn God will never leave me or forsake me? I must still trust that truth.
Did I learn to pray in the Spirit? I must continue.
Did I learn to take God given authority over demonic strategies and do not wrestle with flesh and blood? I must do that now.
Did I learn I am hidden in Christ my hiding place? I must realize that still.
Did I learn I to put on the armor of God? I must wear it still.
Did I learn to not be surprised by the fiery trials which are to try me? I must not be surprised then.
Did I learn it is the plan of satan to steal, kill, destroy, devour, lie? I must be aware of his strategies.
Did I learn no weapon formed against me will prosper? I must believe that now.
Did I learn when I lie awake at night troubles overwhelming me, to pray then for my neighbors? I must pray for them knowing I am not the only one with difficulties.
Did I learn all things may not be good but will, by God, work together for my good? I must still trust that.
Did I learn God promises to give me wisdom? I must ask then trust He is giving it.
Did I learn that I must forgive as I am forgiven? I must forgive those who offend me.
Did I learn that having done all to stand, then STAND? Then I will by Gods grace STAND still and see the salvation of the LORD.

Well I didn't plan to go into all that, but what I was thinking on my way home was about swords and plowshares. Before a plowshare can be used in the land, the land has to first be taken. What is the land you are being moved to possess? Is it the life of a child? Is it your home? Your finances? Your business or ministry? Is it a neighborhood or city or nation? Is it your own broken heart or spirit? Your health? Your marriage?
There is first warfare involved in taking the land. We have to clear away the presence of the enemy who has no right to our land, but doesn't care and will take it unless we stop him. Take up the Sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God. It isn't just a book of words to read. It is living, active and powerful!

Then, when we have secured the land, we can begin to plow the land. Many times land that has not been worked for a long time is stoney and hard. Plowing that type of ground is pretty tough work.

So while we may be past the actual warfare, and "own" the land, it doesn't prepare itself, nor plant itself, nor cultivate itself and keep itself weedfree, insect free and pruned. I have tired myself out just thinking about all that while writing that sentence! We also have to have boundaries to keep predators out.

In the end though, it is worth it. In the end we have something to bless ourselves and others. We have satisfaction. We have fruit for our effort. We have partnered in bring forth life that endures!

And the life of Christ has been formed in us and those around us. We have planted the Heavens by our efforts. All of that is what Satan hoped to stop when the fiery trials hit. But God who loves us is able to WORK ALL THINGS ( the good, the bad and the ugly) TOGETHER FOR OUR GOOD.

I the God of Israel, will not forsake them, I will open rivers in desolate hieghts and fountains in the midst of the valleys, I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water. Isaiah 41:18 NKJ

Just a few references:

Peace- Isaiah 26:3,12

Trials and Refined as Silver-Isaiah 48:10, I Peter 1:6-9, James 1:2-4

Hidden in Christ- Colossians 3: 2-3

Never Separated from His love-Romans 8:31-39, Hebrews 13:5-6, Isaiah 41: 9-13

God working things together for good- Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11-14

Weapons, warfare and armor-Ephesians 6:10-20, Isaiah 54:17, Luke 10: 18-20

Wisdom- James 1:5-7

Forgiveness-Matthew 6:12-14, Ephesians 1:7

Swords into plowshares-Isaiah 2:4, Micah 4:3 and this one is just the opposite; it speaks of turning plowshares into swords Joel 3:10

What Not To Wear (not ever)

2011-08-15T10:15:00.022-05:00

Should I wear this, or should it be this, or should it be....I have never really figured out how much time I spend choosing what I am wearing for what ever thing I am doing. Sometimes what ever it is will have to work for a few different things I am doing that day as I go from one thing to another in my work a day mom world. I prefer grocery shopping in my jeans but that may be following a business type meeting. I am trying to develop a dressy casual look that can go both places but have to admit while shopping at Aldis is definately on my list of things to do for the great deals, I still feel funny shopping there immediately after church or the office. I feel like I am over dressed because I am one of those who likes to dress up a bit which may include heels with the ensemble.

All of this said to say...yesterday morning was church...so I took time to pull out an outfit that was smashed under some other articles of clothing waiting to "be put away". I hung the quite wrinkled items on hangers (ahem, yes now instead of days ago when they first came from the dryer). I proceeded to spray them down with a handy dewrinkler product my sister gave me most likely because she had observed my frantic run to toss items into the dryer while getting ready for something or because she had stepped in to help iron things before one of my daughters weddings (a pretty funny inside joke that will put a smile on her face like it does mine when I remember it). I have also been known to use my hair straightener to do quick fixes on my collars and the bottom edge of shirts that want to roll up.

So here is what happened. I proceeded to do make up, choose shoes and accessories, get the now wrinkle free clothes on and walk out the bathroom door to be met with the words "honey you know the red shirt you sometimes wear?" What ?!? What is he talking about? He hates when I wear red. (and for the record black is on his least favorite color for me to wear list too) Did I gently inquire with "no darling, which shirt is it you mean?" Uh uh. No. I became like a porcupine with all quills at attention.

So began the sunday morning battle that tries to steal our peace on the way to minister and have open hearts to be ministered to as well...(surely we have company in these skirmishes world over)

Shortly I learned which shirt it was and ladies and gentlemen it is one my husband bought me which is not solid red but has paisley burgandy, tan and brown designs. It is one he loves on me and one I do like but was more casual than I wanted to have on that day. Besides it would not match my grey dress pants and black high heels. It would mean an overall change of said ensemble. And besides all that, I just did not want to change.

This would be a great time for the sound effects of brakes squealing to the stop sign...I just did not want to change...my clothes or my attitude either one. So of course I tried to point out the sensibility of keeping what I wanted on. Without having him feel that it meant I hated the shirt he loves because I don't and I don't want to offend him either. Although I was myself offended that my appearance was not lovely in his sight.

Looming large was the pretty much unfavorite verse for many women because we think it devalues us somehow. It is the one from Ephesians that kept whispering to me "wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as unto the Lord" Yes that one. Not submit when it makes you happy to or makes sense to you or continues to let you have all your own way about things...and as unto the Lord...do it for Jesus sake, the One Who laid His life down for me do it as if I were doing it for Him. I said my life is His so shouldn't my actions line up with my words for goodness sake?Not that there wasn't some "I don't care if you like the other better" stuff bouncing around in my heart too. I did however, give my life to Jesus 30 some years ago and become a new creature in Christ like the Bible says. So I may be imperfect in walking it out sometimes but overall it is the standard that I stake my actions on since that divine transaction over my life took place.

Do any of you remember Esther before she won the kings heart and place as his queen asking the one in charge of preparing her for her night with the king to choose for her what the king would like. Most women probably went for what they liked and made them feel pretty and hopefully worthy of the king using all the physical charms they had. Esther had those charms but she also had something more, a desire to learn what would please the king. We know who became the queen.

Even so what offends my heart also reveals my heart. I did not want to change. I wanted to be thought attractive in what I wanted to wear but you know what is NEVER attractive? A bad attitude. Unforgiveness. Anger.Bitterness. Self righteousness. An unloving attitude. Grudges. Pride. Stubborness. None of it looks good no matter what shoes I wear. There are scriptures about what to take off and what to put on. We could call them the "what not to wear" scriptures after one of my favorite shows. Then we could talk about the scriptures that tell us what to wear.
That will be a different day though.

For today I just want to mention the one from 1 Peter 3:3-4
Do not let your adornment be merely outward-arranging the hair, wearing gold or putting on fine apparel-rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God."

Here is to some quiet spiriting by the grace of God! And guys if you are in on this reading -no fair intentionally pushing our buttons!

The Inside Kitty (and the day God has made)

2011-08-06T13:59:00.000-05:00

Did you ever have a day that seemed really divinely orchestrated in spite of your own self? A day you didn't set apart for something like a wedding or party yet when the day happened was perfect for what you had to do? That is this day for me. What is it you ask? Well nothing most of us would normally be saying "this is the day the Lord has made! I will rejoice and be glad in it!" And yet I am! Story behind the story....

One month ago I took Lily to the Hobart Humane Society to look at kittens. Just look. Period. No purchase promise. In fact we "WOULD NOT BE GETTING AN INSIDE CAT". Don't laugh at me yet. And apologies to you friends who dearly cherish animals but most of our animals for years were outdoor living due to allergies and athsma and life busy enough with a household of 8 children.

On our first stop they had just closed. Oh how sad... but you know for Lily it really was. And I love her so I was sad for her even if I had breathed a secret sigh of relief for my own sake. And you know my word is supposed to be my bond so this meant after our next day visit to the Chiropractor we would stop again during their open hours. Lily happily strode in. I followed trying to look engaged in the whole process. Naturally God has made baby creatures absolutely adorable....but none of the kitty cats in the front were yet heart grabbers for which I was thankful. I really was.

But you know not only do I love Lily but God does too and knows the desires of her heart and after all I have got to remember life is not all about me and only what I like. "Are there more kittens somewhere?" we asked. "Certainly. In the hallway is a room off to the right with more and you can take them out of the cage into the room across the hall and play with them"...oh they know what they are up to....

Into the room we went and there was Charlie. Front and center. 4 months old. Like Marys little Lamb except he followed some kids home from school one day and ended up at Hobart Humane Society.
"Oh Lily no" I silently pleaded. "Don't open the cage door", as she was proceeding to open the cage door.
She pulled Charlie out to cuddle him and I am not kidding you he reached out with his front paws and HUGGED MY ARM! Oh no! Why kitty Charlie? Why would you hug this self professed non inside kitty persons arm? Is it because you saw something in me that my tough no inside kitty exterior could not hide from you?

We left Charlie that day since I really had no money to adopt him. Because her dad loves Lily, he said he thought an inside kitty would be nice to have. And not only do her daddy and I love Lily, her brother does too and Abe gave up part of his birthday money to get Charlie for Lily as an early birthday present for her. So the next day we were back to make him Lily's.

And he fits here. Makes everyone happy. Even the dogs. Already litter trained, only a couple of issues we are working to resolve. (Finds the curtains especially intriguing and attack worthy. Also loves to jump on the table which is especially a NO in my house rules.)

And then there was the promise we made to the shelter to have him nuetered. Today was that day. And it could not have come at a better time. He and our two dogs had developed a flea problem that was starting to affect people too. So today he is getting his male kitty stuff done and treated for worms, fleas, mites, long claws, rabies and something else that I can't remember.

In the mean time I have purchased and am using (well have been until this break) all the equipment needed to treat the dogs and house to rid us of fleas. So see I know it isn't a day most people would be rejoicing in but if you saw how busy my life gets and how rare it is to have a whole saturday just open itself to coordinate all of this at once maybe you would rejoice with me too.

Soon we will have to go pick up our inside kitty cat from the Anderson Feline Clinic. But we won't be asking for Charlie because he has a new name...(kind of like God having new names for us written on a white stone that only we will know that the book of Revelation talks about in Chapter 2 vs17 except everyone gets to know our kittens new name and it will be engraved on his tag not a stone). We will be picking up Saint Mewis.

Have blessed weekend. Time for me to get back to task...

Gate Keepers (the gate swings both ways)

2011-08-01T15:50:00.000-05:00

This is the thing...if I don't get to blogging early when the idea is fresh, it is really hard to get back to. It's kind of like praying and reading the word. If I don't "hide out" pretty much immediately in the first morning hour on my living room corner of the couch where my Bible, books, notebooks and pens are right next to me on the end table with great lighting, that time is pretty well swept away in the flurry of the day. Hard to find and get back ahold of.

I did get a bit of my Bible time in before the rest of the day took hold and some thoughts worth jotting down and thinking about (aka meditating on) stood out to me. That dear reader is what this days writing will be about. It is a new brick to add to something I had been building on previously but not written about. Its about DOORS.
As in Who is knocking and should I open or not?

Even before we get to the doors though there is a gate

From 1 Chronicles 16 (what I was reading this morning) there is the telling of bringing the Ark of God (different than Noah's ark) back to Israel but this time correctly since it had been attempted before without consulting God just doing things the way it seemed to mans mind would be good and honoring except it had disastrous results.

Don't we get ourselves into some fine fixes when we go about things our own way sometimes. Like this (whatever I think this is) makes me good enough for Heaven when God Himself already told us how to go about being good enough by receiving what HE says is the only way good enough to get us there... accepting that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (meaning I am a sinner), believing that Jesus died for my sins and confessing that as true before others. Its the A,B,C's of Salvation..

There I am rabbit trailing again..someone may have needed that though.
So yes, DOORS and GATES

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Verse 18 talks about who the GATE KEEPERS were and verse 24 the DOOR KEEPERS. This reminded me of a situation where someone doing work for us here wanted to have an acquaintance come over to help. After a bit of background on the person, I said no. This made me appear mean and uncaring in his eyes and I simply told him "I am a gate keeper here and have say over who or what is allowed to come in" Sounds a little archaic as far as terminology goes and it was the first time I had ever said it. It turned out later we were to learn how wrong it would have been to let that acquaintance join him here as we became aware of newer events in his life. Super unhealthy in fact.

Sometimes we think because we are Christians we are to have an open door policy to show Gods love to others but I don't believe that is true. Life without limits is chaotic. Water has borders and look what happens if it doesn't stay put there...Tsunamis...and light breezes are ok but heavy winds need to be still or stay high above the earth...don't invade my happy space with the things and people important to me. No hurricanes or tornadoes wanted here. Earthquakes where the earth is moving out of its proper place. Not good. Undisciplined kids, lawless community structure which is not structure at all bring ruin. Get where I am coming from now in a general sort of way? Soooo bringing it home....

We give permission to things that enter our lives. (Not to be mistaken with sometimes wrong and horrible things do happen in our lives uninvited.) Just as we have gates and doors to yards, homes or at least our own rooms, we have spiritual gates and doors. What we allow in either way can affect us spiritually and in many other ways. And sometimes to paraphrase an old saying we need to tell those wrong things "don't let the gate door hit you where the good Lord split you" as we send them on their way out of our lives for good.

Something allowed to get through the front gate it has easier access to my door.It is why parents get frantic even belligerent seemingly about things their kids want to do sometimes. It is also harder to remove something once it has been already allowed into our lives. A simple example would be smoking. How many people wish they had never gotten started with that? A miserable relationship. Messing around with occult stuff. 1 Chronicles talks about Gate Keepers and Door Keepers as separate things.

How do I gate keep aside from naturally assessing things and saying yes or no? Prayer. We have great authority given into our hands by God to use for good in this world. He says
"Behold I give you power to tread on serpents and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy and nothing shall by any means hurt you." Luke 10:19-20
"In my name you shall cast out demons"Mark 16:17
Look not every crummy thing happening is a demon, but the devil does masquerade as an angel of light to deceive and we are not supposed to live ignorant of his devices and think that he will leave us alone if we pretend he isn't around or don't make trouble for him by standing up to him and setting captives free and keeping ourselves and family free. So when he comes slinking around the gate say "NO in JESUS name NO! Leave now!" He has to bow to the name of Jesus but he may try again just to see if you meant it. Just like trespassers who take my no trespassing signs down around our property. Have to rehang the signs because we mean it really!

Four points just to wrap it up today:
*Some people or things are allowed past my gate
*Some people or things are not even allowed in
*Some may be in the yard but not allowed in the house
*Some may get permission to come in the house but not access every room

I will be continuing in this gate and door line for a few more future blog posts...have a blessed week and take some time to check your gates...

One Prayer (like potato chips can't stop at one)

2011-07-29T12:38:00.000-05:00

If God were to come to you and give you opportunity to have one specific prayer asked would you be able to pare it down to just one request? What is on your heart most? Is it the thing that brings you to tears when you think of it being answered? Maybe it doesn't but it is still the thing that occupies your heart and mind so frequently.

Watching a minister yesterday morning on television he began closing out his message with this very thing. What do you most want God to change or move in your life between you and God not you and everyone else? After you pray, write it down and date it. Do you have a notebook or journal for stuff like that? Now would be a good time to start if you don't have one already. (candle not necessary but Bible is a perfect addition)

Here is what I found myself doing. An instant request came to mind. The primary pressing concern of my days pretty much every day these past few years. The kind of thing I worry over instead of casting over (on Him who cares for me). So I prayed that along with a couple of promises from scripture to declare and position my answer on. Then in came another thing I wanted answers for. Then another and so on until I found myself with several I want God to handle for me all tacked on.

It made me feel like I was being like the senate and congress members who debate and try to pass or veto then in the hopes of getting a pet issue taken care of tack it on to a major bill moving through hidden in the mess of legal verbiage.

Well fortunately for us we don't have to stop with one prayer only and am I ever glad about that! And we don't have to sneak one or two more in between the layers of the first one either! We are invited to come boldly to God's Throne of Grace. We are told whatever we desire when we pray believe we recieve it and we shall have it.

And it doesn't all depend on my own perfection in everything I do. My racking up good God points that out number my bad ones. Not "I get my prayer answered because I do so much better than the other guy or gal" either.

It is because I am righteous through the sacrifice Jesus made for me and my sins. He makes it so I can boldly approach the Grace throne. (Recently heard at the county fair of all places: GRACE= God's Riches At Christ's Expense and thought that was pretty good) Ok we all know we are not to trample on that grace either by purposely sinning just to take advantage of it either right? Our minds can twist things up pretty much for our own advantage so have to remember to use Gods word in a right way too. Sooooo go now! What are you waiting for? Ask! He is waiting to hear from you. Remember write it down. Years later you will be amazed to look over your journals and see how "it came to pass"...

Mickey Mouse (menopausal musings)

2011-07-27T01:03:00.000-05:00

This blog post really is more for the ladies, so sorry bout that to you guys who say you do read my stuff. I have been somewhat "missing in action" the past few months and hope to get on a more regular writing schedule again. Always trying to be real to life at least as it works in my little sphere, I will let you know I hit a place called Menopause or rather it hit me. I am trying to get through it as graciously and with as little damage to those around me as possible.

I think I will look into what women in other cultures do when in this phase of life but I think we should find a cool cave somewhere with a view. Just hide out until we can emerge happy and able to live with ourselves and people again in a civil manner. But assuming most of us have lives that are busy with people relying on us to help their lives function in a fairly steady, predictable way we do not have the liberty to remove ourselves for long. Let's face it, some women can not even remove themselves long enough for a short bathroom visit without children calling out to them outside the door. Wish I could see a show of hands on that experience.

I am never very certain how to put things out here in writing without making anyone who is part of my life's moments feel less loved so...Lets just start with fiery hot flashes surging in leaving me dripping with that oh so unattractive sweat and drying up what fruit of the spirit I had grown. We all know dehydrated fruit is a little more difficult to chew and swallow even though it is fruit for real. And when do I need the fruit known as patience more than when I am stressed out which is also when the trigger is pulled turning on that unwanted embarrassing heat wave faucet. Clothes stick to me. I have a liquid mustache. My hair rises to the occasion by its natural curl assuming non-style poof and frizz. My skin changes shades of red and I am just so hot I have to stop and remember it is probably me and not anyone else in the room dwelling in her own secret furnace that has its own thermostat set to go off at the most inconvenient times.

Well then what does Mickey Mouse have to do with any of this? Reasonable question. It is just now part of the daily routine in the span of my responsibilities. We have a beautiful, lively toddler as part of our household now. We also still have our own three youngest kids, two who are awesome teens, and one who is a hard working, in his twenties Daddy to above mentioned beautiful, lively toddler.

We also are the residence of two dogs and one cat which is admittedly rather small in number from our earlier part time farm. In those years we had lots of teens, pre-teens and preschoolers, 17 sheep, a cow, ducks, lots of chickens and roosters, a pony, a pig, a goat (oh don't get me started on my not so fond memories of her!) and two dogs and way too many outside cats. We generally have always had fish in a tank in one room or another and sometimes rodents called pets because we bought them and put them in enclosures with wheels to run in at night and finally birds, turtles, salamanders, frogs, lightning bugs. I draw the line at snakes and spiders. That was definitely a rabbit trail...

So some of the verses that brought some relief this week were from Isaiah 54:11 and started out "Oh you afflicted one, tossed with tempest, and not comforted" Really!?! "Afflicted one" Well yes that seems to fit.
"Tossed with tempest and not comforted"...Yes again.The whole chapter is worth reading and so valuable when we are going through hard times. God sees it and He has promises for us there. Further on it says "Behold I have created the blacksmith who blows the coals in the fire..." that made me smile because it sounds like menopause to me "Who brings forth an instrument for his work.." we will come through this and we will be useful in a way we never were before. Hoping you are all blessed this week by the best blesser of all..and stay cool!

Coming Awake (the place between sleep and sunlight)

2011-07-05T13:59:00.000-05:00

I will lift my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth, He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps Israel shall neither slumber not sleep. The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is the shade at your right hand. the sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul. The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore. Psalm 121

She remembered these words later. Later, after she awoke from her twixt sleep and not quite awake state of being in the early morning. She had seen herself quite clearly on the cliff of a mountain in a range of barren granite mountains. No trees. No water. Stone gray skies. Just the barren mountains. And she was in modern day clothing not a dress like this pioneer woman in the picture.
Something had dropped from her hand over the edge as she stood looking to the west over the place, sensing an unfriendly presence behind her that would push her over if it could. Tension hung thick in the air. Why was she here and what had fallen? Oddly enough it was a teddy bear she realized and as quickly as she recognized that she spun toward the east into a warrior stance with a sword in her hands to face her enemy. To engage him and to win. And that is when she came fully awake.
"It is time to lay aside childish things", she heard her Lord say.
"It is time to awaken from your slumber"
"Think it not strange the fiery darts of the wicked one but also know you can not put his darts out by childish means. You can not hang on to the things of children (unless it is a child like faith) and walk as a mature daughter of the King."
In the place of dream world and visions there were lessons to bring away to use in her everyday flesh and blood life. Spiritual armor firmly in place once again. Her disengagement from battle due blows dealt in the spirit and manifest in the natural had gone on far too long. It had made her lukewarm with weaponry dull from disuse. She had lost sight of her identity and purpose. She needed to hold to the recognition of her true enemy that ever seeks to steal, kill and destroy. Enough was really far too much given into his hands without a fight and she would once again be strategic in preventing his gaining any ground and begin recapturing those things he had stolen from her. She was a child no longer. Rather a woman of royal lineage whose weapons of warfare were not carnal but mighty through the authority God had entrusted her with to pull down strongholds. She was seeking re-enlistment to active duty.

TGIM (thank god its monday and other rambling thoughts)

2011-06-27T13:48:00.000-05:00

Usually people thank God it's Friday. Understandably so. For most people that is. I wanted to thank God this morning was Monday. Because for me our weekends get so busy and full of everything that isn't normal weekday stuff that they never really feel like a time to refuel but to be spent even further. Not that what we do on weekends is stuff I hate. It's just packed with busyness (guess that is spelled right since spell check isn't showing it otherwise).

I am always a bit reluctant to comment on this topic, since the alternative of being alone with nothing at all to do or people to care for ever is more than horrible in my opinion. Like I am thinking people will say "well let's just leave her alone then". Hear me people I love who are part of my life,"I love you and am not trying to get rid of you! OK?"

I am a person who recharges with alone time though. If God put me in time out, I might secretly breathe a sigh of relief. Only for a while... If we kept to the rule of thumb one minute per year in age I don't even think it would be enough time.... Even if I am getting up there in age. But no not really. I do not want to be on the sidelines of life either.

I remember when I was so sick with something that had been building and getting worse for two weeks after my last baby (bebe # 8) was born nearly 15 years ago. I was put in intensive care locally and then zipped by ambulance to a private room at Rush Presbyterian for a total of 11 days followed by about 9 months at home for recovery.(making a little notation that my healing was not instant even though I have seen Him do instant healings. But this one was a process even though I had been told by the Holy Spirit right before going to the hospital "You shall live and not die and declare the glory of God" I didn't know where that verse was then. You can find it in Psalm 118:17. Another version says "declare the works of God " which I am doing right here right now!)

The words in my head during those sick days would not come out straight from my mouth nor from my fingertips holding a pen to the paper. And many other scary symptoms along with a pain that never went away in my head no matter what and got worse when lying down. BP totally out of control. Yet I was trying to care for a newborn and 7other kids and a husband, house, business and ministry stuff. Nope. Could not continue as I was. I really thought I might die. Really. So when I heard those Holy Spirit words I hung hard and fast even while thinking what is wrong with me that You are telling me I will not die from it?

Many tests later, after no findings, we prayed for the hidden things to be revealed and low and behold a new doctor came in and did a test like an ultrasound on my head. That is when I heard things like. "You have the brain pictures of a woman in her sixties." Alright I am not there even now, though I am closing in on the age. I was 42 at the time. I heard "You are primed to have massive stroke and it will either kill you instantly or leave you a quadriplegic" Option one or option two. Well I had option three and it had been given to me before I even left home for the hospital...It is times like these we need the word of God "Rhema-tized" to us. God breathed and made fresh and alive.

I needed that word "You will live and not die and declare the glory of God" spoken and re- spoken in my mind and heart. (Which is what meditating on the word of God is) I could not even read correctly at the time from what I remember. I needed His promise. It is why it is important to hide God's word in our hearts. We need to be able to pull on it in times of trouble! And we will have times of trouble. We can't be more than conquerors through Christ Who loves us, if there is not something to conquer. And catch that part "loves us". Hard things to overcome do not mean He has abandoned us. No He is the One who equips us to conquer. Even if I am flat on my back in pain. Even if I don't know where to begin. He shows me. Even if it is to whisper His promise for me to think on when I am too sick to cling actively.

I am grateful to God. So grateful!!! Just think. I could have been unable to do the busy weekend things. I could have been unable to cook the last 14 years of dinners one at a time to care for my family. Don't get me wrong there are times I am not exactly excited to brainstorm and cook one more "delicious perfectly nutritious meeting all the food groups for the day" dinner, lunch or breakfast. Or I could have been unable to wash more loads of clothes to await folding on the couch or dining room table than any one wants a count on. Or read stories to grandbabies. Or unable to speak of the "glory of God" whether to my kids or face to face with someone or in a women's group or teaching in a class or from the pulpit or *gasp* my blogs!

So back to Mondays. This is a restful Monday today. Obviously I am healed and have walked in that healing for 14 years now. Repeated tests show the condition to be gone even when I was sometimes worried it was making a sneaky return. I hope your day is restful too. Even if it is a rest that means you are leaning on Him in the midst of your busy work day. I pray you are strong and at peace today. I pray you hear your Heavenly Father's voice and know His love for you. That you are surrounded by His beauty.