Self Titled

2009-03-15T02:30:00.002-04:00

I went. It was beautiful. I saw elk and a condor. I went for 2 days. I rode the shuttle from one end of the south rim to the other. I hiked on the Bright Angel trail. I went to the Petrified Forest and the Painted Desert. I have dirt on my boots from Florida, New Mexico, and Arizona.

New Blog

2009-01-23T03:00:00.002-05:00

I have a new blog. Find it from my profile page on this site.

I Have Seen You

2009-01-23T02:58:00.000-05:00

I have no use
No use for people who won’t listen
Who won’t bend
Who won’t be open
Who lie and deny
Themselves and each other and me

Never seen anything like it
Never care to again
So I won’t

A loud, proud, self-righteous proclamation
“I won’t listen because I don’t want to hear it”
(verbatim)

Do you hear yourself, even? Let alone anyone who speaks
An ugly truth

I wish I could live in such denial
Keep the façade of ‘Everything is Great’
Even after the lights go off
And there is no one there to pretend for
Pretend so hard that it becomes
Impossible to distinguish

Just another false reality for someone

Or…do you? In the darkest hours...can you keep it away?

I can’t

No matter how hard I try

The End

2008-12-31T07:39:00.002-05:00

I am not blogging here any more. Sorry. If you haven't already, join Facebook and find me there...I will be writing notes there from now on.
Have to keep the riff-raff away.

I know

2008-11-21T12:32:00.002-05:00

Lots of people love me. I appreciate the outpouring I have received, especially a nice room for a few nights. Thank you to everyone who has called, texted, emailed, Facebooked, prayed, and everything else. It has made a huge difference. I am in a much better frame of mind today..still not great, and still crushed by deception and betrayal, but better. Probably because I had a warm bed to sleep in last night and a good long hot shower.
I start work for Papa John's again later today. Hopefully I can deliver but I might have to work inside until I get a NM driver's license. Either way I will be doing something. I delivered for them before in Florida and actually made decent money (and cash tips don't hurt either) so I am looking forward to it. And not having to spend every bit of money I make every day on a crappy hotel room will help immensely.

Slight Revamp

2008-11-20T02:20:00.001-05:00

All I remember from my childhood is my father beating me, and my mother telling me to go away and leave her alone. The only reason I was born was because she wanted to do something first before her sister. Then, she was so thrilled to be pregnant that she had electro-shock therapy while she was pregnant with me. No one else in the history of the world has been stupid or selfish enough to do that to their unborn child as far as I have been able to find. Then, once I was born, I was blamed for every problem in the family, particularly if she was upset...even though she was mentally ill herself and it had been running in the 'family' for years. My fathers favorite thing to yell at me while he was beating me was that I was making my mother sad. There's only so many times a 4 year old can hear that under those circumstances before it becomes the truth for them....but I would really like to know how it is a 4 year olds fault that her mother is mentally ill.

I asked them for help with my rent for one more month after my surgery this summer, but they wouldn't do it. They said they couldn't afford to help me. Now, they are planning another big vacation for themselves for this Christmas. I guess they are going to pay for it with the money they didn't have to help keep me from being homeless.

Things are not always what they appear to be. Al and Martha are two of the most phony, selfish, materialistic people I have ever known.

I am not on 'vacation' here in New Mexico. I was trying to get to the Grand Canyon where I was going to jump off the edge but I didn't have enough gas money to make it there. They knew that I already tried to kill myself a few weeks ago by overdosing but they didn't care about that either.

So I don't want everybody fawning over the two of them at my funeral...if they even bother to go. They are by far the most selfish people I have ever had the misfortune to meet in my miserable life.

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Good...maybe

2008-11-11T16:31:00.005-05:00

Well...something has happened...not sure if it's good or not but it is worth blogging about, I guess..

I have gone off on a really crazy binge again. The proverbial straw shattered into a hundred pieces and I left the cesspool called Jacksonville on Thursday afternoon. My plan was to go to the Grand Canyon but I ran out of steam in Albuquerque, NM. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. It is a nice city, beautiful scenery, and a world apart from everything I have known. I know a lot of you won't understand...I know some of you will be mad...and I'm sorry. I also know you can't run away from your problems, and that's not what I'm trying to do...I just really needed a change of scenery and (a)nother fresh start. So here I am.

It feels like I was supposed to be here the whole time.

It's been an interesting few days to say the least. I found God (not in the life-altering way, but the, 'there he is again' way) at this little store in Fort Sumner...I wanted to sell a $25 Barnes and Noble gift card for $20..and the woman who runs this little store insisted on giving me $30 for it. Saved me in more ways than she knows.

Views from the drive. Anyone who has been out here knows that the pictures don't do it justice.

My phone is still on for receiving calls for the time being but I don't know how long that will last. I also have a card to get online for an hour or so at the local public libraries here so email is always an excellent way to get in touch with me if you want...it will just take me a little longer to get back to you now. Until I make a payment on my phone, my data services are off.

I am hoping to come back to visit in a month or so to get my stuff. I will keep everyone posted. You all take care and wish me luck...

Obama

2008-11-05T09:46:00.002-05:00

I said I'd blog again when something good happened. Here you go. Barack Obama will be the next President of the United States of America. Thank God for large miracles.

I am so proud to have worked at the polls yesterday. I arrived at 6am and helped set up polling booths and tables, signed official election documentation (I was an inspector and 'board member', how cool is that???), and started reviewing my section of registration documents and marking off everyone who had voted early, which was 56% here in Duval county. There was a pretty significant line outside at 7am, people waited I think up to about 40 minutes. That was as busy as we got all day! I guess since I was a first time poll worker, they put me at a teeny tiny little easy precinct, 04T. It was at the Windy Hill Community Center on Anders St. here in Jax. That was quite a relief to see...I scoped out the location the day before to make sure I knew where I was going. The building is about the size of a small house.
I was an inspector; I handled everyone with a last name starting with A-E that came in to vote. I verified their registration against my list, checked identification, sent people with any issues to the help desk, answered questions, and handed out the actual ballots, complete with fancy secrecy folders, to each person. There was a little bit of confusion at my location; there were actually 2 precincts in the same tiny building, and many people's actual voter registration cards had the incorrect precinct listed on them; I had to send almost half of everyone who came to me, to the other side of the building, including one half of a married couple, who lived together at the same address! She voted on my side, but her husband had to go to the other side...weird. And many of the people who came to me had already been to the other side. But that didn't seem to cause any hard feelings or big issues throughout the day, either. There was only one big bubba at the beginning of the day who got irate because he had to walk an extra 100' to the other side to vote; there was a deputy in the kitchen (which was right next to me, go figure..) and I kinda grabbed his attention when I saw the guy escalating...fortunately the guy went ahead and just went to the other side and voted. And fortunately I didn't have to interact with him at all.
As far as I saw, only two people all day did not vote after arriving; one was a young woman who was referred to the help desk because of an address discrepancy (which was easily remedied by going to the help desk and filling out a form). She wasn't mad; seemed to me like she was very reserved and was scared of people and uncomfortable being there in the first place. Don't know how I would be able to detect that off of someone who I didn't even speak to... But anyway..she said she was going to go and we all encouraged her to not to, that it was easy to fix and it would just take a second, but she left anyway. That made me a little sad. That's me sometimes. Not capable of dealing for another single second. Been there and done that. And there was one gentleman at the very end of the evening who was listed as 'ineligible' on the registration roster. Of course he went to the help desk...they did everything they could for him, and he really didn't fight it very hard...he and the precinct manager talked for a minute or two but the gentleman just went ahead and left. He wasn't nasty at all either. I think he probably knew what the issue was and decided to just be decent and not make a stink about it.
That was my biggest worry about yesterday. Based on all the things I'd heard, I was afraid of having to deal with a lot of people who had been in line for 2 hours, were having all kinds of problems, etc. but it wasn't bad at all...everyone was pleasant and happy. Everyone was proud and excited to be there. And the people I worked with were great! That made all the difference; even those people who did have small issues or discrepancies were handled politely and in a positive, reassuring manner and that made all the difference. That and the 56% early voting rate. We had fun and laughed all day, and of course there was plenty of food and drinks and Halloween candy. Three guesses as to who brought the Halloween candy. Personally I sampled the Krispy Kremes and coffee in the morning, homemade chili, homemade red rice and sausage and shrimp, and a slice of pizza at lunch. Plus some Halloween candy.
SO many young people (kids to me, any more, but I don't want to disrespect..) were there, and proud that it was their first time voting. Telling us it was as they came up. It was great to see. People of all kinds of backgrounds, ages, etc. doing their thing and it was a great atmosphere. Oh and one lady who came to the desk thanked us all first thing for being there. That was really really nice. I think she thought we were unpaid volunteers, but it was a nice thank you anyway, and I would have done it anyway even if it was an unpaid thing. So we smiled and thanked her for her thanks. Nice.
I was very happy to see that at least at the precinct I was at, things were done according to the law and in an orderly and efficient manner, in a very laid back but supportive and professional environment. I was surprised and excited to see that I was able to see the complete results of my precinct at the end of the night; as a board member, I had to sign off on the ballot machine ticker tape in the morning as 0's and at the totals at the end of the evening. The precinct I was at was in a neighborhood that voted 2 to one for McCain. I commented to fellow poll workers (the ones I knew agreed with me, which was almost all of them), 'Don't worry; this is a podunk little redneck neighborhood and it will come out in the wash.' Sure as heck did!!!!! And I am proud and happy to have done it no matter how the voters at my location went; I participated and did what I could to ensure fairness and honesty in what I did, and that is all that mattered to me. It certainly worked out well. And...we all got to leave around 8pm after packing up the machines and signing off on stuff and everything. Not bad at all.
Couple of funny things...one young gentleman with his bling and baggy shorts and corn rows and graphic jersey...and pink glittery bedroom slippers over black knee socks. And there was one write-in ballot submitted at our location: someone put down Biden/Palin. Not quite sure what they were thinking, but it was documented and handled correctly and turned in at the end of the night. Oh and was there ever some eye candy there! And the best one of the day came back twice!!! And talked to the lady next to me!!! And me by default :-) Nice. She noticed him first! Of course they were all too young for me..but it was nice to see. Especially Mr. Bodybuilder blue shirt man. Wow. I actually had a hot flash while he was there (both times); that was the finest man I have seen since before my surgery, I guess. I told the lady next to me about it later, and we cracked up and spent the rest of the day commenting on the hot guys. It was great. I normally don't even like the bodybuilder types but this one had a really nice face and demeanor to go along with it...hehe. It was the day of hot guys and great bags, too. Lots of chicks had really cool bags. Oh and one hoochie came in! Acid washed jeans short shorts, a black tank top that didn't make it down to anywhere near the top of the shorts, and black fuzzy knee boots with heels. And all of these items were two sizes too small, she was poofing out a little (or a lot) everywhere around the edges. Muffin top, as it were. Perfect voting attire. I didn't notice her bag.

Matt Lauer said this morning that for a first time voter this time around, it must have felt like getting a hole in one the first time you ever pick up a golf club. That really does sum it up for me. I am so glad that a majority of America was smart enough to see through the mud slinging and fearmongering and outright lies and deception. I am glad America got motivated to do what we needed to get some change. And I am glad I participated. And let me say this: unlike many bitter, nasty McCain fans (and I have already encountered a couple of them, both in person and online..good grief) I am very happy with the results, but if things had gone the other way, I would be OK with it. It wouldn't have been the end of the world some closed-minded, unenlightened people would have us believe that Obama being president will be. I think McCain would have been an OK president if he had put a little more thought into his VP pick, and won. Not a great president, not my choice regardless of VP pick, but OK. I think he has very misguided but good intentions...we all know what the road to hell is paved with, don't we?
I have the utmost respect and appreciation for McCain's military career and service to our country and the time he spent as a prisoner of war and all of that. I truly do. He is a guy I might want to fight a war for us. But Obama is the guy I want, to keep us from going to war in the first place, and get us out of some of the situations we are in now, and straighten out the healthcare and pharmaceutical fiasco we currently have, and the financial issues that need to be fixed, and the rampant corruption and a hundred other things.
I think Obama will be one of the best presidents we have ever had. I would have been disappointed, VERY disappointed if McCain had won, but quite honestly my life is always going stink no matter who is president. I would still have all the problems I have now, just as everyone else would, no matter who won. It's really not going to help me much personally on the level that I need help on, and the little help it would have brought me will come a year or so too late, but it is one of the best things that has happened for the United States, ever, and I am thrilled for that and for how this historic event will improve life and world relations for future generations of Americans.

Have this many people around the world been so happy about a president being elected that they are brought to tears and celebrations on a scale that has never been seen? Doubt it. I still have goosebumps. My Obama t-shirt finally came day before yesterday...can't wait to proudly wear it all day today and go celebrate with like-minded friends tonight. This is the best thing that has happened in years.

In other news....

If you do something that hurts someone, you should apologize. Even if what you did was inadvertent. This applies to two people in particular, and they know exactly who they are. If you have any doubt at all about who it is, it's not you, so don't worry and don't feel bad. If it is you, well...if you do something that hurts someone, you should apologize. Maybe you should try to apologize before it is entirely too late...and that particular window of opportunity is closing faster than you want to admit, even though you know it. I'm not kidding. Then again...who wants an apology they have to ask for anyway? Just as empty and meaningless as any words can ever be.

OK...next blog the next time something good happens. I wouldn't recommend holding your breath. Thanks to everyone for reading. I love you.

2008-10-01T09:22:00.002-04:00

So yeah...the pollworker training was interesting. The instructor was engaging and entertaining, we covered a lot of stuff, and we were all dubbed 'Voting myth debunker deputies'...we actually do have the lowdown on the rules and process of the day. Any questions? Feel free to contact me. For example: the email that has been going around that says that your address on file with the Supervisor of Elections must match the address on your ID...FALSE. In order to vote, you must meet (or meet within 2 days after the close of elections) 2 criteria: 1. REGISTER by October 6...that's this coming Monday... and 2. Have a PHOTO ID with your signature on it.
You must have registered prior to October 6th; there is no getting around that one. But, even if you don't have your ID, or your address has changed, or any other mitigating circumstance like that, you CAN still vote. Even if you show up at the wrong precinct; at the very worst they will look you up and tell you where you need to go for that case. You may be given a provisional ballot, that requires that you provide whatever proof is needed to the Supervisor of Elections within 2 days after the elections; and the whole process may take longer, you might even have to wait in more than one line, but as long as you are registered, you can vote. And they are saying they will all be counted.

Lots of information here: duvalelections.com Your local results will vary!

There is expected to be an unprecedented turnout for this year's election. Avoid the lines! Vote early. Information available from the link above. I very highly recommend it...another bonus: if you vote early, you may vote at whatever early voting location is convenient for you. November 4th...you must go to your registered precinct to vote. I'm just saying.

2008-09-29T10:02:00.003-04:00

Been a busy couple of days. Thoroughly enjoyed watching the debate on Friday night. It went pretty much exactly as I expected. Cold, hard, detailed facts about plans for the future from one candidate, and lots of anecdotes about things that other people did 50 years ago from another. I commented to my brother, as we texted back and forth, McCain has exactly the same problem I do: he is hopelessly mired in the past. I'm just not trying to impose it on the whole world...so far mine is only ruining my life. But anyway. I was certainly happy, as always, to see Senator Obama point out all the issues that they both agree on, and use those as starting points of common ground to work from. He's not closed minded and one sided and short sighted. I love that about him. OK enough politics.
Saturday...went to a NEFGA event in the morning. Saw a bunch of friends..I was in quite a mood. I haven't been getting out much lately..I was in rare form, and in probably one of the best moods I have been in in a while...and everyone around me paid the price haha. But I liked it. I did hear the comment, "It's nice to see the old Loopy again." I guess even my humor is pretty scathing and maybe a little mean-spirited lately...people say I'm not, but maybe I am better at concealing my tone than I think I am...if only they knew what was going through my head sometimes....but I really am joking, and like I always say, 'I wouldn't pick on you if I didn't like you' ...or even 'love' you in most cases where NEFGA is concerned. And everyone there feels free to adopt the same attitude towards me, so it seems to work out good. I CAN dish it out, and take it too. But...I got a LOT of exercise. Aside from being just tired, still, a lot, due to lack of activity, and some muscles that need to get caught up, I am pretty much back to normal, physically so I am extremely happy about that. We walked a lot, I jumped in and out of the car and actually looked for caches...and found a few too. Had fun riding in the back of a truck, too. Tailgate hanging and standing...excellent exercise. Took ibuprofen all day yesterday. It was great.
At some point during the day, I signed my name on my 2000'th cache log. It's funny...a few years ago, when I started caching, finding 2K was just an almost unheard of thing...people had events thrown for them, it was all over the forums, people would seek them out and shake their hands, they were heroes. These days, it hardly even gets noticed. And I'm certainly not complaining about lack of attention or anything; it's just another testament to how quickly the game is growing. I am extremely happy with my 2K wether anyone noticed or not; I never thought I'd get to 100 finds, let alone 1,000, let ALONE 2,000...plus make some of the best friends I've ever had, some of the most fun, some of the best travelling, but here I am. Now all I need to do is go log them and make it 'official'.

I hung out with a friend for a while Saturday afternoon, and then another friend, and the rest of the day was pretty quiet. I managed to stay awake for SNL...thank goodness! Tina Fey was born to play Palin. That mess is serendipitous...how's that for good use of a big word? Right off the top of my head...but man. Too funny.

Sunday...the Jags won, and then the Skins won. 'Nuff said. And I didn't watch either game alone! I have too much enthusiasm during the games to be watching them alone. Hehe.

Tomorrow night I go for new pollworker training. That should be interesting. I am looking forward to it. I went and registered in person at the Elections Office so I am definitely good there. Now I guess I need to register to vote early, since I will be working that day.

I have made some changes to my blog....if I can remember every time, I finally started making my text the next size bigger. It was even hard for me to read, so I fixed that, and adjusted my background so it's easier to see stuff in the body of my blog...AND I added some friend's blogs to my 'watch list'. Check out my list on my profile here...feel free to add my blog to your list. That's a nice feature I just 'discovered' yesterday.

Seemed like I had more stuff to talk about...but this is probably enough for now. I guess a good weekend is enough to get me blogging, anyway. Good enough.

Check your registration!

2008-09-25T11:05:00.001-04:00

Click here to verify your voter registration!

I filled mine out at the local library, and placed it in the locked box there, about 2 weeks ago. I have been trying to verify it here online for the past week, with no luck. I called the Supervisor of Elections office yesterday, and they had not received it. They told me to contact the library, which I did this morning, and they told me exactly what I expected them to: the only responsibility they have is to keep the forms stocked and make sure the box doesn't get stolen, and that someone from the Elections office was coming and getting them out once or twice a week.

Now maybe... there are a LOT of new voter registrations this year...it might take more than two weeks for my registration to be processed. Maybe they get shipped to Tallahassee or something (but somehow I doubt it). Either way, I'm not taking any chances and I'm going directly to the main office downtown today. I will fill out another registration there, and tell them about my dilemma. If they aren't any more helpful today...well, I'm planning on going directly from there to the Obama headquarters, anyway. Maybe I'll see what they say about it.

But either way, just make sure everything is straight in advance!

Change We Need Rally with Obama

2008-09-05T14:37:00.006-04:00

Well..I do have one interesting thing to blog about. This past Saturday, my friend Amy and I joined 20,000 others in supporting Barack Obama for president. It was a fantastic, if not exhausting day. The energy was palpable and the enthusiasm overwhelming. We were very proud and excited not only to be present for a little bit of history, but even have pretty darn good seats for it. Well, Amy had a seat, I had to stand...no problem at all as there was a great local band, Sugar Bear, about 15' away and I danced to oldies, R&B, and some soul while we waited. These are some of the pics I took:

In the pic above, Obama is in the center, white shirt, shaking hands with people. I was taking pics with my phone...so I actually got some pretty good shots of the crowd, but I had to leave it to Amy to get good shots of Mr. Obama.

The pic above gives a small section of the crowd. There is actually a dip on the other side of the scaffolding on the right, that gradually climbs up towards where the flag is in the back. So in between the people you can make out, and the US flag, are thousands of people you can't see. And this is only about 1/3 of the crowd.

The pics below are Amy's. I don't think she used the zoom for these two; we were that close. When he arrived and went to the podium, he ran by within about 50' of us. I tried to get a pic when he was that close, but all I got was a blur of some secret service guys..

All in all it was a great, motivating and inspirational day. I am already signed up to take the new pollworker training class next week, and work the polls on November 4th. I have also signed up to volunteer at Obama's campaign headquarters nearby and need to return a call on that. There is also a party Friday night to watch the debates I'm planning on attending. I guess I'm trying to make up for the embarassing fact that I have not voted before. I guess it took the right candidate to come along and get me excited.

I turned 38 on Sunday. It was nice to get so many well-wishes...and good stuff from my family, and an Obama t-shirt on it's way to me courtesy of Amy. It was really cool to have so many people on Facebook and Myspace send virtual stuff too. I have been isolating a bit lately and it actually helped some. Sad and warped, yes, but whatever works...

That's the only stuff going on that anybody probably really wants to hear about. There's lots more but *I* don't even want to hear about it any more. So I will at least spare all of you...

Next blog entry: the next time something good happens.

Dr. Andres...

2008-09-05T13:17:00.003-04:00

I hope you are reading. Quite honestly, if your memory is so bad that you do not remember a single word that was exchanged between us at my last appointment three weeks ago, as you claim, I hardly think you would be mentally fit to practice medicine. I certainly don't want a doctor with such a bad memory. I remember words that were exchanged between us at my first appointment with you months ago. And I have had major surgery and lingering side effects of anesthesia since then. Anyway...congratulations on your little declaration of "We can't have a patient/doctor relationship any more" as I left...I'm glad you figured out that that was exactly what I had been telling you for the last few minutes, when you insisted on sticking to your selective amnesia story.
I am truly surprised, after touting yourself as a Christian, that you are too weak and cowardly to admit you lost yourself for a few minutes at the last appointment, apologize, and allow us to move on. Surprised and disappointed. And even more so that you would use such a childish retort as "I don't remember", which changed to "Your memory is wrong" the more I said correct, word-for-word quotes from that conversation, and you saw I wasn't going to back down. God saw the whole thing and he's the only one who matters, ultimately. If he were truly such a big part of your life, he would fill you with the strength and courage to do the right thing in this or any other situation, even if it was embarrassing to you for some reason, or might cause you to look at yourself (which I know can be painful), maybe your friends would make fun of you, whatever the difficulty for you might be. Anyway...he saw your cowardice and dishonesty yesterday. And so did I.
If you ever want to get anything off your chest, you should have my phone number on file. Feel free. That little guilt bug may be tiny and hibernate for even a very long time, but it will always be there. And they always eventually get bigger and bigger and do more and more damage...you get twenty in there, and they reproduce exponentially. Maybe better to take care of it now.

2008-08-31T22:13:00.003-04:00

Short but very important blog tonight. My friend Amy and her daughter Zella were just on the Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon! Amy does have MD, and her life is deeply affected by it. Most of the time I don't think about it because she rarely complains and has one of the best attitudes of everybody I know, with or without a serious disease. She is a good, good friend and it would mean a lot to me and Amy and Zella if anyone and everyone reading would call and make a donation.... 1-800-FIGHT-MD or 1-800-631-0814, or click here. Amy's disease is progressive, and as things stand now, it will continue to progress. Her breathing is already affected. There have been some good breakthroughs in the last few years, but the search for a cure goes on. Please help.

Ooh girl looked good too, eh? She did great and didn't appear nervous at all. In the last pic, the tux man had just asked Zella if she wanted to say anything. I was trying to get a pic with the mic in front of her but I like this one better, I think. She was too shy and everyone had a good laugh. And yes, it's sad, but I have no TiVo. This is all I could do...bad pics with my camera phone...haha.

I made Chicken Paprikash tonight. Never heard of it before. It was really good! I love allrecipes.com SO much. Go to the ingredient search and type in what you have lying around...lots of great recipes will come up! I made this one because of chicken and sour cream that needed to be used. Yum!

Glad to say I got motivated and did some cleaning and laundry today...and I vacuumed. Yay for that too! I didn't do anything at all yesterday...was too tired from the week. Glad I have tomorrow off, too, and PAID. I might actually leave the house tomorrow for a while.

Later :-)

2008-08-30T11:22:00.005-04:00

Wow...been a long week. Got back to work and it is good to see my friends there. I have missed them and they seem to be happy to see me too. Even though I have been sick all week...woke up last Friday morning with a terrible sore throat and have been sick since then. Congested, cough, headache, etc. Blech. So that really stinks. But...it's on its way out. And on the recovery note, that is going well as far as I can tell too. I actually feel human again. Weak and flabby and slow, but human. Work took a lot out of me...and laughing, coughing, and talking a lot exercised yet another group of muscles that have been doing practically nothing for quite a while, so I've had a smidge of swelling and pain the last couple of days...but it is just working towards making me 'normal' again. Seems like each time I swell I end up smaller than I was before, after it goes down, so that is fine with me.

I am SObama.

For the first time ever, I am excited about a presidential candidate. I watched the second quarter of the Jags/Skins game, but at halftime was too excited to hear him speak and watched the convention the rest of the night. I am inspired. We do need a president that will put Barney Smith ahead of Smith Barney...this guy was great. He got one of the biggest cheers of the night with that line. LOVED it. Did you see it?

Had a great time at my friend Larry's last night. He ordered pizza and we talked and played Wii. I kicked butt at the bowling, as usual. Wii bowling is good to me. I did OK on Aerosmith guitar hero too. That's fun. But the buttons are too far apart...his boys are great at it. Oh and we had a great time explaining a euphemism to his oldest son...highlight of the evening.

Oh yeah...Larry has a scanner...

Apparently, Al doesn't like this pic of him. I think it's a great pic of both of us. Taken here in Florida on one of his Christmas visits. Early 2000's.

At Aimee's cabin, 91 or 92...that was a ladder straight up the wall to the loft. Had to carry the Snorty up there...hehe.

This pic was taken a few years after graduation....these people are Amy, Scott, me, Jill, and Arthur. I have happily found Scott and Arthur through the magic of MySpace and Facebook, but haven't been able to find Amy or Jill....

Penny all beautiful, at my aunt's house in New Jersey, probably while I was in high school. This pic will probably end up in one of those forwards you get all the time, now. She was a great dog. She seemed to really enjoy wearing this stuff...

One of my high school graduation pictures, 1988. People never want to believe me when I tell them I was fat and ugly and zitty and had a 'fro in high school. Well here's the proof. Not my best years by ANY stretch of the imagination....

OK...I'm not going to post a pic like that of myself without embarrassing someone else too...here's Al in the late 80's...

I scanned about 70 pics last night. I haven't even scratched the surface....will have to go visit Larry again.

OK I need to get motivated today. Have a good one :-)

2008-08-24T22:46:00.003-04:00

What's this? Two posts in one day? No...

Yes.

So...I went to go to a friend's house tonight for a little while. I'm glad I did because I wouldn't have wanted to deal with this in the morning. I pulled my truck up all the way by the door, because the last time I came home, it was raining. That was Thursday. We have had something like 3 feet of rain since then. So, when I tried to pull out, nothing. I tried to rock it out for a minute, but it was too much for my weak and sore muscles (I drive a stick). I gave up on that pretty quickly and decided to sacrifice a throw rug that should look familiar to my mom.
Thank goodness it worked. Now I know.

Did I mention the delicious salsa I have been making? It's pretty good...pretty darn good as a matter of fact. For half the price of my former favorite commercial brand, I made three times as much and it tastes so much better....

2008-08-24T18:19:00.002-04:00

I didn't float away. I was lucky to not really have any problem with Faye at all, except for a small patch of wet carpet just inside the front door.....I'm sure the weatherstripping down there is in the same fine condition as the carpet and plumbing and the oven that didn't work when I moved in....and it smelled oddly like wet dog in here until it dried some. I haven't had a dog since the Snorty, but I'm pretty sure the people who lived here before me had one in here. Not that it matters.
Anyway I went outside with my camera just a little bit ago here...I glanced out the window and saw that the sky had gotten dark and green. These are the most exciting pics I got from this go-round...

I did put some emergency supplies in the bathroom on Friday, when things started looking really bad...tornadoes were spotted about 5 miles or so from me and headed in my direction..a bit unsettling. At least I did it in advance..I didn't want to have to choose between my purse and the cat...I have already put stuff away, but I did come close to going in a couple of times. I guess I get a little worried because we are a bit overdue here in Jax...we have had some close calls over the last few years here, and we can't stay this lucky forever. ALSO, I know I might be in very thin company on this one, but my electric did little more than flicker a few times through the whole thing...I am currently a fan of JEA. And...during the worst of the storm (while I was moving the emergency supplies, actually) I saw City of Jacksonville workers come through and clear the debris off of the storm drains on the side of the road. On the one hand I was impressed; on the other hand, tornadoes were on the way and I was tempted to yell at them to come inside! I watched out for them while they were in front of my house, but when they moved out of my sight, well, I wasn't gonna chase them down. They're big boys, I guess. Nothing ever happened around here anyway, really...
I guess I am feeling a little better from my cold...looking forward to seeing my work peeps tomorrow. Most of them hehe. Some of them will hear about not coming to visit me, even though I visited them when they had their baby. Hmph. I can say this because I am reasonably sure she doesn't read my blog. I guess she will hear it and I will get over it and I will be glad to see her too after about 10 minutes of torturing her....haha....
OK more in a few days...

2008-08-21T10:40:00.003-04:00

Sorry for the delay!

I have been up to a lot. Starting with last Tuesday...my friend Kadi and her kids took me out to lunch at Qdoba. Quite yummy, and Kadi and I had a good time reminiscing over 80's music, thanks to the music playing over the loudspeakers. Nothing says 'Mexican' like Depeche Mode.. I got a burrito that was enormous. I ate half then, and the other half for lunch on Thursday. Both were full meals. We also went and grabbed a cache after we ate. It took me a long time to find it, considering that I had found it before a long time ago and forgotten...haha.
I was inspired by lunch and made salsa on Wednesday that was really good! So good, in fact, that I bought the tomatoes and onion I need to make it again. I can't let half a bag of tortilla chips go to waste! I also made Oatmeal Raisin cookies that were pretty good but a little dry. I currently have ingredients here to make 6 or 7 different types of cookies...and I bought loaf pans..I bet I will have energy again tomorrow and Saturday to do some more baking :-)
Went and had another very traumatic doctor's appointment on Thursday. Gotta love the people who go on about what good Christians they are and how important God is in their life and then go on to display VERY opposite behavior and attitudes from what the God *I* know about condones. Can you say, hypocrite? I can. Hypocrite. Don't use your 'religion' to try to justify being judgemental and closed-minded about things that you are ignorant of. Being religious doesn't mean that you are right about everything, nor that you know everything. I think the real God is the only one who can claim those attributes. Anyway...I go back in 3 weeks and that should be interesting. The funny thing is, I'M not the one who lost my cool at that appointment. But..I am of course, the 'bad' person in the situation. I won't lose my cool at the next one, either. I am debating about either bringing a friend or a tape recorder next time. More likely a tape recorder.
I had a great time with my Aimee in Canada. I'm glad I had been working to increase my strength some over the week before I went. I left home around 11 am with my one small suitcase with wheels and my overstuffed backpack. Whenever I travel I try to bring everything with me as carry-on luggage after several lost bags in the past...and I'm usually in a hurry when I travel. Well I wasn't in a hurry this time. I had plenty of time to check my suitcase and it probably would have made it to me. But...I went straight to the gate and didn't even really think about it. I did put the backpack on top of the suitcase and rolled them both so it wasn't too bad. I think I just used a lot of muscles I hadn't used in a while. The next day I had some muscle soreness but it was manageable with ibuprofen.
Anyway...my flights were on time and uneventful for the most part. On the first flight here was a 6 month old across the aisle from me in her mom's lap. Cute cute and smiled the whole time. Cried for about 45 seconds when we got into our descent but fell asleep and didn't wake up again until we got to the gate and parked...they didn't open the doors for about 10 minutes for some reason and it got really stuffy in there. She started getting fussy and crying again but I alternated between silly faces and big smiles at her and had her laughing until we all got out. It was fun. On the next flight I did puzzles most of the way.
Once I got to Detroit, I had an hour wait until I caught a shuttle to where my Aimee lives. I actually had a good time..I sat outside while I waited (because I have been outside so little lately) and a chick came and sat with me and we talked for a while until her ride got there. She was cool and funky...pink and purple knee socks, Converse Chuck Taylor All-Stars with rainbow stripe laces, a short denim skirt (but not stupid short. completely appropriate.) and a top I really don't remember but I'm sure it was cool too. She just graduated from high school this spring, getting ready to start college shortly. And she has good taste in music (which usually comes with the funky looks)...likes a lot of my long-time favorites. She threw out a few names of some of her current favorites but I wasn't familiar with many of hers..I'm too old haha. Hi Holly, if you found me. Send me an email!
Shortly after her 'friend' got there and we said good-bye, one of Detroit's finest pulled up by the crosswalk and got on his loudspeaker and promptly screwed things up and almost got one person run over. And then he stayed and continued yelling and screaming things at everyone...drivers and crossers alike. Everyone within 200' was looking at each other in disbelief, including all the airport empolyees around, and people on the upper level for departing flights. Some of us laughed for the first 30 seconds or so, thinking maybe he was trying to be funny, but it quickly became apparent to everyone that that was not the case. He was yelling at people trying to get into cars, including an older man who got frazzled and freaked out because the officer was yelling, 'Hurry up! Figure it out! Everyone is waiting on YOU!,' etc. and the man almost fell down trying to get his bag in the car and then the driver started to drive away before he was fully in..bad scene. He was yelling at everyone in the crosswalk to hurry up...people with multiple bags and strollers and limps alike. I bet he goes to church every Sunday without fail. A lot of cops do... I'm just saying... Anyway, he did this for about 20 minutes or so...after about 5 I got up and moved further away, to where my shuttle was supposed to pick me up. It was a smidge quieter and more pleasant, but not by enough until he chose another crosswalk to terrorize or went to get a donut or something.
The shuttle picking me up was about 10 minutes late. I got loaded up and we chatted on the way to get the other passengers, and when we were almost there, he turned and said to me, 'I apologize again, and thank you for being so kind and understanding about me being late. There are a lot of mean people out there.' I said, 'Tell me about it.'
We picked up the people at the other terminal, and headed across the border to pick up 2 other people who had been denied entry to the US and take them back to where we were going. This news initially made me and some of the other passengers a bit uncomfortable, but I was relieved to see they were an older woman and an early-teen girl. As the driver and border patrol walked them over to the van, I commented, 'Phew. We can take them if we need to.' It got the intended laugh. Love the laughs I get. I guess if there had been incident (which there wasn't), I could have held the pillow to my belly with one hand, and thrown punches with the other....fortunately it didn't come to that. The most that happened was the woman asked the driver if we could stop because her daughter hadn't eaten (they had been sitting in customs for 5 hours, told to us prior by the driver, not her), and I thought about offering her some of the snack stuff I had with me. But the driver told her we were stopping in 2o minutes at a hotel where their office was and she could get something there, and she sat back down, so I held off. Lucky for her! Beware of the fuzzy pillow! That's right...
Got in to the house around 1 am. SO good to see the Aimee and the Cletus and the Caelan (of course I didn't see him until the next day). It has been 3 years. Last time, Caelan was in diapers. Now, he's starting kindergarten. Big change...he is an extremely smart, funny, articulate, polite, beautiful kid. Not surprising to me at all. But...as always, Aimee and I had some really good deep conversations and it was great. Saturday night, we went to Leanne and Chris's house for a bonfire and cookout and everyone had fun making me laugh until it was agonizing and I cried. Then they all laughed even more, which made me laugh more. Yeah. Great friends and good times. It was truly a really, really good evening. Leanne and Chris have a daughter who was born shortly after my last visit. She was a preemie...still tiny tiny and beautiful. She looks like a pixie and is just sweet. She has a younger brother who I had never met. Both of them liked me. Leanne said they both interacted with me a lot more than usual with strangers, which of course thrilled me. They are so cute. One of the best things (aside from the company, of course) was the hammock...it was so comfortable! I probably spent close to an hour in it. Everything I sat on or laid on in Canada was comfortable...hmm.....
We spent a good part of the next day at the barn, hanging out and hugging horsies and watching training and grooming and stuff. Love it. For anyone who doesn't know, I used to ride and our family had a small horse farm for a while. I miss it. I forgot about the flies, though. Sheesh. But the weather was beautiful the whole time I was there, and I was very happy to spend a lot of time outdoors. Aimee's home (that's another thing that has changed a lot in 3 years) and back yard are beautiful and very inviting. She has a garden and pond with a waterfall that goes down the 'hump' back there, and a big flagstone patio and great table with umbrella and chairs out there. Perfect except for the spying troll next door. She also now has the piano that was in her home growing up...and she plays beautifully.
We had fun in the grocery store like we always do, and watched some Olympics, and the night before I left she and Bill and I went out for steaks. Aimee ordered a Margarita, and I was lamenting the fact that it is still too soon for me to have a drink...I do love the Margaritas. But yuck. I had a taste of it and it was really bad. So then I didn't feel so bad...haha. I was missing out on nothing.
Too soon after that it was time to go. The trip home was also uneventful but long. The shuttle picked me up at 9:30 am Tuesday and I got home at about 7:45. Thanks to my friends Rodney and Sandy for the ride! Surprisingly, I had more energy and less 'trouble' on the way home than I did on the way out. I did have to go through extra security...when I got to the metal detector in Detroit, I was wearing my Caraloopy sweatshirt and it freaked the guy out. I offered to take it off and send it on the belt through the x-ray while he was looking around in a panic, looking like he didn't know what to do because I was wearing a sweatshirt. But when I suggested it, he said, 'Oh yeah, that's a good idea, do that.' So as I pulled my sweatshirt off, my shirt came up a little and he saw my girdle thing and it started him off all over again. Not that I have a problem with it in the least..I offered to take that off for a second so they could see it, but he said no and they gathered up 2 females and took me behind a partition. Everyone involved kept apologizing for the delay (I was in no hurry), and I kept telling them, check me. Check that guy. Check everyone. I don't care. I have nothing to hide so I don't worry about it. I would much rather get on a plane with a bunch of people who have been checked thoroughly for dangerous items, than with those who hadn't. The chick who came back with the wand was young and in training, and went around the girdle thing 3 times before she looked at me, puzzled, and said, 'It's not beeping now'. I told her it never did, the previous guy just didn't like the looks of it, so then they swabbed me all over for explosives and after a few minutes I went on my merry way, telling the people to think about me when they get a nasty person in later. There are people who appreciate what they do.
Again, uneventful and no delays. I taught myself a new card trick on the flight from Atlanta to Jax. :-D Can't wait to show it off tonight or tomorrow. :-)
Now all that's left to do is try not to float away until Monday, when I go back to work. Maybe bake some cookies if the power doesn't go out. Salsa even if it does. Looking at high winds and torrential rains at least through today and tomorrow. That Fay is one lazy chick. She needs to move on...but speaking of which, I guess I better turn off the laptop before it's too late...
But the trip was good. The change of scenery, a higher level of exercise, and a lot of laughter and a deep feeling of connection did me a world of good and I am about on my way to being back to almost 'normal', whatever that is. I hope me being there did Aimee some good too. I tried.
No pics this time, but seeing as how so many other people are digging old ones up, I have some good ones too. Probably some people won't even know were ever taken, and certainly lots they forgot about....hehe. Just need to get them scanned in and let the hysterics begin....anyone local with a scanner want to volunteer?
OK lightning more later.... :-)

2008-08-11T20:22:00.003-04:00

Let's see...since last time...

My recovery is going really well. I have cooled off a lot over the past week, thank goodness. Now it's down to just a few hours here and there so that's good. I'm just still...you guessed it...tired! But over the last few days I'm trying to increase my activity a little and get some muscle tone going. I am very happy to say that all the swelling is gone except for just a little bit in my lower belly...but even my upper belly is back to normal. I won't be in my bikini again until next summer, though... :-(

I went to NEFGA's annual elections event on Saturday, after spending the night at my friend Lori's house. I had a great time! I got on the Wii Fit for a few minutes in the morning...that was really cool. I want one! Our custom for food at elections has become a low country boil...king crab legs, shrimp, sausage, potatoes, and corn. Yum! It was great to get out, see a bunch of friends, and eat good food. The walk from the parking lot to the campsite was long! I did good going in, but after the full day I had had already, I had to be pulled out by Joey in a cart that the campground rents out for carrying camping supplies, etc. I was very impressed...I thought he might peter out part way through, but his dad just helped him a little. He got a bag of chips for his efforts. I owe him one.

I went to Wal-Mart today all by myself. I took a cab..it's just right across the street. I did pretty good...I would have had no problem at all except for having to stand in line for half an hour (yes, literally). I guess I might have even been OK with that but I took off my girdle thing this morning...I have to stop wearing it some time, I guess.

I am going to visit my friend Aimee in Canada this weekend. Her mom passed away last week. She was elderly and had been not well for some time. It has been too long since I have seen her..I wish it could be under better circumstances, but it will be nice to see her.

Back to work in 2 weeks. From what I hear from my friends there, it won't really make any difference...I'll be making approximately what I've been making for the last month...
I have to stay there for now for the insurance, and to show a little appreciation for how understanding they have been with me with all the illness and missed work and gross incidents over the last year. But if the real estate market doesn't pick up soon...I dunno. Either the real estate market or the job market really needs to pick up soon. A LOT.

Oh yeah...about my license plate. I called the wrecker place and briefly explained the situation. The chick I talked to sounded really confused, I don't think she ever figured out how I figured into the situation. At one point, she said something about a black Ford Ranger, and I said, yeah, that's my truck, and she said, oh no, the man who brought that in is from Mandarin. And she told me that the vehicle had been towed to Insurance Auto Auctions here in town on July 22. She also told me the license plate number of the stolen car (the one I found on my truck). Now how she knew that I have NO idea. I called the officer that had taken my report and told him all of this and he couldn't have seemed less interested. Seriously, I told him all that and he said 'Thanks for calling' and pretty much hung up. I kinda thought they might be interested in information like that...guess I was wrong. Oh well...I did what I could. Not my problem any more. Lots of things are not my problem any more...!!! :-)

I have been enjoying watching the Olympics too. USA!!!!

Tomorrow: unload the dishwasher and bake cookies. Lots of them. :-)

2008-08-04T18:31:00.000-04:00

And the winner is.....Ken!
He also mowed the front yard and he barely finished that when it started raining. AND he took my trash and recyclables out too. He got a mini loaf of bread in exchange. If I had a full loaf I would have given it to him. That's ok I am planning on making oatmeal raisin cookies soon....lots of them.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

2008-08-03T21:09:00.002-04:00

Football!!!!!! I am watching the Redskins vs. Colts in a pre-season game....WOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Football!!!!!!!!!!! Oh goodness I'm already yelling at the TV and scaring the cat....

OK. Enough about that. I guess I'll work backwards, which makes the next item the 8 mini-loaves of honey oat bread I just baked. I have never made bread from scratch before and it turned out great! I already ate one loaf, with honey butter. A few are being mailed away. The rest are already assigned and will go fast...and I will eat one more. They are darn good! And I ate the crappiest looking one first so I can give the good ones away and IT was good.

My friend Tammy took me out to run some errands yesterday, one of which was checking the mail. One thing I had to sign for was a certified letter from Abe's Towing. I opened it up and it said I owed $530 total plus storage for my truck, which had been towed on July 15th. I could have sworn my truck has been sitting in my driveway since July 10th. Was even there yesterday when I left to go get the mail. So we finished my stuff and pulled in to my driveway and Tammy said, "Yeah, your plate is there." I said "OK cool" and gathered up my stuff. As I walked between her car and my truck, I glanced down and noticed that the plate didn't even resemble my license plate. I removed it immediately and went in to call the police.
So after a couple of calls, an officer came out to my house. I gave him the plate, and a bunch of information, and he said he'd be right back. He verified my VIN, and sat out in his car for a while. He came back and gave me a 'Victim Handbook' with my case number and his contact info and everything. Turns out that someone stole a car in either Polk or Lake county (can't remember what he said now) on June 15, and sometime between then and July 15, switched out the tags. The car was found burned beyond recognition, and my plate was on the ground very nearby. OMG!!!!!!!!! I might have been driving with the tag from a stolen car on my truck for any amount of that time, up until the 9th, anyway. Yikes. I have to call Abe's tomorrow and see if they have my tag there or not. So wow...that's kind of an interesting story for my blog!

I got all kinds of cool stuff when I checked my mail yesterday :-)

Baking bread made me a little tired and a little sore. And there's football to be watched... :-) :-)

2008-08-01T13:23:00.002-04:00

Ooh...more flowers. My friends Rodney and Sandy took me out to dinner the other night, and as if that wasn't enough, they brought these. Yay! When we got back here, Kevin was here finishing up the yard. Thank goodness for him, and especially thank goodness for my friend David (IceCreamMan) who did the first half of the back yard. He's the husband of my friend Barbara who took 4 days off of work to be with me after my surgery. I have the best freakin' friends anywhere.

I am still doing so-so. Good days and bad days. Kind of on a bad spell for a few days here but trying to get out of it. I talked to my work friends this morning and that was nice. Chatted online for a while with my friend Sheena who lives in Italy. I'm trying to be more sociable...

The next person to visit me gets the honor of vacuuming my living room...I am strictly not allowed to do it myself. It only takes 2 minutes to do! Do it! I will let everybody know who it was...hopefully a guy. I will take pics and everything..

Wish I had more to talk about...not very exciting sitting here on the couch, though..

2008-07-24T10:18:00.005-04:00

One strange side effect of all this drama lately: I have NO interest on getting online at all any more. Those of you who know me well will wonder which is stranger: lack of interest in my number one go-to activity, or the fact that I have been hot since I woke up from surgery. I can't decide either...I am figuring that my interest in getting online will come back with time....and I'm hoping that I will cool off eventually.
I am doing OK physically. I am still very happy that there really hasn't been anywhere near the pain I was afraid of. I am still pretty tired and have to be careful how I move. Also the swelling has gone down significantly and I am starting to look almost normal again. (Strange that they can remove things from me and I ended up being twice as big afterwards!) I had my follow up appointment last Friday and the staples came out, and I was still feeling pretty good that evening. I had a bunch of people over that evening (I had invited about 6 people to come throughout the course of the week and of course I didn't remember inviting any of them lol) and I was a bit overstimulated and forgot myself for a few minutes and got down on the floor to play with Zella and the cat. If there had been an adult in the room, they would have said 'Hey Loopy what the _____ are you doing?!?!' But it was just me, Zella, and the cat, and it just didn't occur to any of us. So I rolled around on the floor for a minute. It didn't hurt at the time, but it did the next day. So note to self: don't roll around on the floor yet. Even if it is with Belly and Tiger.
My friend Kevin took me to Wal-Mart last night for a little while. We were there longer than I planned, and I spent more than I have, but it was great. It was by far the most walking I have done...by the time we got to the register, I had to sit on the bagging station while we waited in line. But it was cool to get out and do a normal thing and feel like part of society again for a little while. And to get some stuff to eat and drink.
I have been mostly playing video games...I am borrowing a PS2 and have been playing Star Wars: Bounty Hunter and the Lemony Snicket game. That is taking up most of my time. It's been fun....I have hardly played video games at all so there is still a novelty in it for me which is good. And the games seem to be designed to be very time-consuming. I also have a huge stack of movies that people have loaned me..I watched Gone with the Wind yesterday and the day before. I love it! I haven't seen it in probably 5 years or more so that was great. One of my all-time favorite movies. I also have The Wizard of Oz. Haven't seen that in a few years either. Plus a bunch of movies I haven't seen. Like I said, mostly playing the games for now but I'm sure that will even get old in a while and then I will switch over to movies. Maybe I'll want to get back online soon.
That just made me think...when I was a kid, our cat Dooley came home all injured one day..tail broken in 3 places and it had to be amputated. When he came home from the vet, he hid in my mom's small sewing room for quite a while...I don't remember exactly but it was probably more than a week. I guess maybe that's what I'm doing. I do have cat-like reflexes, after all...maybe I have cat-like instincts too.

Here's a bunch of pics, all of the ones I have wanted to post for a while, but haven't:

I went to the beach the weekend before. It was a great day. Got a little bit sunburned which was perfect...it's still holding on and I don't look all pale and pasty now. Yay.

I made this for my friends at work a few days before I left. I thought it turned out beautifully and everyone liked it. Yay. I am also happy to say that I have started cooking again a little bit.

These are the first flowers I got in the hospital (above). They were handed to me as I was getting into my room...they were from either Ken's parents or his aunt...I am honestly not sure which. But they are pretty.

Next, these were from my parents (above). These came from the same florist that delivered all the flowers when I was born. This arrangement is bigger than it looks in the pic; I took it from almost just above. This was actually the biggest one. Beautiful.

These came from a relatively new caching friend, Jester (above). They also had a really cute yellow smiley face balloon attached, with a note saying it was an extra smiley for me (jargon for a cache find in geocaching). This was an unexpected surprise and definitely cheerful!

These are from my brother. Absolutely beautiful. Simple and elegant and I love them. Also bigger than the pic makes them look. They came from La Mee florist which always cracks me up even after 12 years of seeing and hearing the name. I honestly don't know what the correct pronunciation of the name is. It's funny whatever the case is.

This is your arm on drugs. That's your friend Amy in the Hawaiian Tropic t-shirt. You may or may not remember she was there until you look at your pics a few days later.

This lawn mower died about 15 minutes after this pic was taken.

This is my view for the last 2 weeks and for the next month. I have started sleeping in my bed again off and on...depending on how I feel. Been sleeping in the recliner mostly.

I want to get back to my remark about not remembering that Amy came to visit me. Honestly the first week or so I don't remember a whole lot, but I do remember that a LOT of people called and visited, and continue to do so, and I really appreciate it. I'm sorry I'm not getting back to people right away...hiding like the cat, eh? I also seem to be in a pretty bad mood still...I think part nicotine withdrawl, part remnants of the anesthesia, part hormones (or lack thereof), and part boredom and loneliness. But I'm starting to come around. Everyone has been so good to me and I can't even really express how much it means. I'm talking 5-10 calls a day on average. If you've called, I noticed...even if I haven't called you back. I think by next weekend I will feeling a little more sociable. I might even try driving next weekend. The weekend after that is our annual NEFGA elections and it's looking pretty good that I will at least be able to attend...and maybe even camp. Two weeks is a long time in surgery recovery terms...I bet I'll be feeling a lot stronger and straighter by then.

OK I think I've made up for my lack of posting for now. If I have anything interesting happen I will let you all know.

2008-07-15T15:17:00.004-04:00

Wow. I cannot believe how good I feel. My plan worked: make this out to be the worst thing ever, and then when it happens, I can say, 'This isn't so bad...'. Well..this isn't anywhere NEAR as bad as I thought it would be. I wanted to get up and walk last Thursday (yes the day of the surgery) but they wouldn't let me until Friday...I suppose the pain was bad on Thursday and Friday but I don't really remember much of all that thanks to the IV drip. Now it's to the point that the only time it really hurts at all is if I cough or laugh or stand up too fast. It really just feels funny most of the time. And I'm still pretty shaky and tired a lot...getting better every day though. Yay.
I was right all along. Something WAS wrong. And it WAS related. I had severe endometriosis that had spread though most of my lower abdomen, including my intestines. That was what kept making me sick. It was nothing new. I am not done getting my vindication.

But..MOVING ON! Finally

I have had so many visitors and calls. Thank you all so much! If I haven't gotten back to you yet, I will. Don't worry. And I got some beautiful flowers. Yay! They are all still doing well. We had to make an extra trip down to the car when I left, for them. :-D

I still need people to visit!!! Home with nothing to do for another 5 weeks or so! Can't even drive for another 4 weeks! Help!

I might post a few pics tomorrow. And I have lots more to say...

2008-07-09T03:45:00.002-04:00

3:45 am. I missed most of my last day at work with my friends, first because I slept through my alarm, and didn't get there until about 11:30. Then, about 1, I got sick. AGAIN. I tried for a while, then laid on the floor in Wanda's office for about an hour, then went home about 3. Threw up about every half hour, as is my custom, until about 1am. But I figure I have all my pre-op stuff tomorrow. I didn't feel like spending hours and hours freezing at the ER last night, or being treated like a criminal or a psycho, so I just dealt with it and finally passed out at about 1. I used the anti-nausea meds I got from a couple of days ago. I took one at 1, when I first felt sick...it worked for about an hour. Then it didn't. I took another one at 6pm. That one worked for about an hour. I took another one at about 10:30 that didn't say in me more than about 30 seconds. So lots of help that was.
So..sleeping from 1 to 3:30 helped some. I have had some gatorade since I woke up with no problem. I really need to get some more sleep before my pre-op stuff starts at 1:30.
That all really sucks because I had saved back some money for a nice steak dinner with Ken, both in gratitude for all his help, and because I wanted a good steak dinner before I can't eat much for a while...don't have time to do it tonight...oh well. Now I'll have money for my prescriptions. Such is the life of Caraloopy.
I am getting nervous. The thing I am most scared about is the first couple of weeks afterwards..lots of pain.
(Here's what I'm doing...I am making this surgery out to be the worst thing that has ever happened to me, it's just going to be horrible, I will hate every minute of it...then, when it's happening, *maybe* I can say, 'this isn't as bad as I thought it would be...maybe. I'm also keeping all of this so I can look back on it, if I ever have doubt about whether I did the right thing or not...which I don't so far. I bet I have a moment of panic tonight or tomorrow morning, but it will be fleeting.)

I am so so grateful for my friends and family. Here's the lineup so far:
My aunt Elizabeth is insisting on taking me in the morning of the surgery. I'm not sure how long she is going to stay, but she will probably meet..
My friend Ken is taking the day off of work, and he and his parents will be there when I get out of recovery/into my room.
David and Barbara are coming that evening. (And of course Barbara is taking those days off of work when I get home to take care of me)
My friend Kevin is coming that night too.
Those are the 'for sure, I know when they are coming' people. There are lots of other people coming but I'm not sure exactly when. I will definitely want people to come visit on Saturday...weekends are extremely boring and quiet in hospitals, generally. So come on! I would say come Sunday....but I am hoping to go home Sunday. I'd hate for people to show up and I'm gone already...but then again, my place isn't far from the hospital. Just call and check. And...if anybody is available during the day on Friday...would be nice to see a couple of people then.
I am really looking forward to some of my 'people' meeting some of my other 'people'. i.e., work people meeting cachers, cachers meeting Ken, etc. I have known some of you too long for you all to not know each other!

Surgery is scheduled for 7:30 tomorrow morning. The doctor has allocated 2 hours for the surgery. Then I will probably be in pre-op for two hours after that. I will not be assigned a room or number or anything until after that...probably around noon. I will do my best to keep everyone updated; I bet my mom can leave a comment on this post when she hears what's going on. As a matter of fact, I am going to auto-publish comments for a few days so I don't have to approve them before they get posted. So feel free to use my blog to communicate with me and each other through comments. I don't know what the hospital policy on cell phones is, but I will have mine when I get in my room. Whether I can use it a lot is a different story, but I will at least have it and check it when I can. Remember I can receive calls, text messages, and all email to my main gmail address on my phone. I will ask my mom to post the phone number to my hospital room here too.

Too much sadness lately. My friend Brandie from work had twins three months ago. They were both premature, stayed in the hospital for a few weeks, but have been home and happy and healthy since then.
On Friday, Brandie went to get them up from a nap and Kaden didn't wake up. The doctors are saying it was SIDS. The funeral is Saturday and I obviously won't be able to go. I wish there was something I could do. I can't even imagine that pain. Guess I should quit whining about my surgery, eh?

So...to recap: I am sick of being sick. I should be out of surgery and have some kind of communication by noon tomorrow. I'm a little scared. I want people to come visit me.
Pray for Brandie and her family. Her husband's name is Keith, and she also has a daughter named Deja who is about 6, I think. And of course both the boys.

I might post more later today. There was some more stuff but I can't think of it right now. Maybe after I sleep some.