CorpGirl

This Is Why Poor People's Bad Decisions Make Perfect Sense

2013-11-26T13:15:00.001-08:00

Reminding us about basic humanity!

Below was written by Linda Tirado, Night Cook, Essayist, Activist.

There's no way to structure this coherently. They are random observations that might help explain the mental processes. But often, I think that we look at the academic problems of poverty and have no idea of the why. We know the what and the how, and we can see systemic problems, but it's rare to have a poor person actually explain it on their own behalf. So this is me doing that, sort of.

Rest is a luxury for the rich. I get up at 6AM, go to school (I have a full course load, but I only have to go to two in-person classes) then work, then I get the kids, then I pick up my husband, then I have half an hour to change and go to Job 2. I get home from that at around 12:30AM, then I have the rest of my classes and work to tend to. I'm in bed by 3. This isn't every day, I have two days off a week from each of my obligations. I use that time to clean the house and soothe Mr. Martini and see the kids for longer than an hour and catch up on schoolwork. Those nights I'm in bed by midnight, but if I go to bed too early I won't be able to stay up the other nights because I'll fuck my pattern up, and I drive an hour home from Job 2 so I can't afford to be sleepy. I never get a day off from work unless I am fairly sick. It doesn't leave you much room to think about what you are doing, only to attend to the next thing and the next. Planning isn't in the mix.

When I got pregnant the first time, I was living in a weekly motel. I had a minifridge with no freezer and a microwave. I was on WIC. I ate peanut butter from the jar and frozen burritos because they were 12/$2. Had I had a stove, I couldn't have made beef burritos that cheaply. And I needed the meat, I was pregnant. I might not have had any prenatal care, but I am intelligent enough to eat protein and iron whilst knocked up.

I know how to cook. I had to take Home Ec to graduate high school. Most people on my level didn't. Broccoli is intimidating. You have to have a working stove, and pots, and spices, and you'll have to do the dishes no matter how tired you are or they'll attract bugs. It is a huge new skill for a lot of people. That's not great, but it's true. And if you fuck it up, you could make your family sick. We have learned not to try too hard to be middle-class. It never works out well and always makes you feel worse for having tried and failed yet again. Better not to try. It makes more sense to get food that you know will be palatable and cheap and that keeps well. Junk food is a pleasure that we are allowed to have; why would we give that up? We have very few of them.

The closest Planned Parenthood to me is three hours. That's a lot of money in gas. Lots of women can't afford that, and even if you live near one you probably don't want to be seen coming in and out in a lot of areas. We're aware that we are not "having kids," we're "breeding." We have kids for much the same reasons that I imagine rich people do. Urge to propagate and all. Nobody likes poor people procreating, but they judge abortion even harder.

Convenience food is just that. And we are not allowed many conveniences. Especially since the Patriot Act passed, it's hard to get a bank account. But without one, you spend a lot of time figuring out where to cash a check and get money orders to pay bills. Most motels now have a no-credit-card-no-room policy. I wandered around SF for five hours in the rain once with nearly a thousand dollars on me and could not rent a room even if I gave them a $500 cash deposit and surrendered my cell phone to the desk to hold as surety.

Nobody gives enough thought to depression. You have to understand that we know that we will never not feel tired. We will never feel hopeful. We will never get a vacation. Ever. We know that the very act of being poor guarantees that we will never not be poor. It doesn't give us much reason to improve ourselves. We don't apply for jobs because we know we can't afford to look nice enough to hold them. I would make a super legal secretary, but I've been turned down more than once because I "don't fit the image of the firm," which is a nice way of saying "gtfo, pov." I am good enough to cook the food, hidden away in the kitchen, but my boss won't make me a server because I don't "fit the corporate image." I am not beautiful. I have missing teeth and skin that looks like it will when you live on B12 and coffee and nicotine and no sleep. Beauty is a thing you get when you can afford it, and that's how you get the job that you need in order to be beautiful. There isn't much point trying.
Cooking attracts roaches. Nobody realizes that. I've spent a lot of hours impaling roach bodies and leaving them out on toothpick pikes to discourage others from entering. It doesn't work, but is amusing.

"Free" only exists for rich people. It's great that there's a bowl of condoms at my school, but most poor people will never set foot on a college campus. We don't belong there. There's a clinic? Great! There's still a copay. We're not going. Besides, all they'll tell you at the clinic is that you need to see a specialist, which seriously? Might as well be located on Mars for how accessible it is. "Low-cost" and "sliding scale" sounds like "money you have to spend" to me, and they can't actually help you anyway.

I smoke. It's expensive. It's also the best option. You see, I am always, always exhausted. It's a stimulant. When I am too tired to walk one more step, I can smoke and go for another hour. When I am enraged and beaten down and incapable of accomplishing one more thing, I can smoke and I feel a little better, just for a minute. It is the only relaxation I am allowed. It is not a good decision, but it is the only one that I have access to. It is the only thing I have found that keeps me from collapsing or exploding.

I make a lot of poor financial decisions. None of them matter, in the long term. I will never not be poor, so what does it matter if I don't pay a thing and a half this week instead of just one thing? It's not like the sacrifice will result in improved circumstances; the thing holding me back isn't that I blow five bucks at Wendy's. It's that now that I have proven that I am a Poor Person that is all that I am or ever will be. It is not worth it to me to live a bleak life devoid of small pleasures so that one day I can make a single large purchase. I will never have large pleasures to hold on to. There's a certain pull to live what bits of life you can while there's money in your pocket, because no matter how responsible you are you will be broke in three days anyway. When you never have enough money it ceases to have meaning. I imagine having a lot of it is the same thing.

Poverty is bleak and cuts off your long-term brain. It's why you see people with four different babydaddies instead of one. You grab a bit of connection wherever you can to survive. You have no idea how strong the pull to feel worthwhile is. It's more basic than food. You go to these people who make you feel lovely for an hour that one time, and that's all you get. You're probably not compatible with them for anything long-term, but right this minute they can make you feel powerful and valuable. It does not matter what will happen in a month. Whatever happens in a month is probably going to be just about as indifferent as whatever happened today or last week. None of it matters. We don't plan long-term because if we do we'll just get our hearts broken. It's best not to hope. You just take what you can get as you spot it.

I am not asking for sympathy. I am just trying to explain, on a human level, how it is that people make what look from the outside like awful decisions. This is what our lives are like, and here are our defense mechanisms, and here is why we think differently. It's certainly self-defeating, but it's safer. That's all. I hope it helps make sense of it.

Additions have been made to the update below to reflect the responses received.
UPDATE: The response to this piece is overwhelming. I have had a lot of people ask to use my work. Please do. Share it with the world if you found value in it. Please link back if you can. If you are teaching, I am happy to discuss this with or clarify for you, and you can freely use this piece in your classes. Please do let me know where you teach. You can reach me on Twitter, @killermartinis. I set up an email at killermartinisbook@ gmail as well.

This piece has gone fully viral. People have been asking me to write, and how they can help. After enough people tried to send me paypal money, I set up a gofundme. Find it here. It promptly went insane. I have raised my typical yearly income as of this update. I have no idea what to say except thank you. I am going to speak with some money people who will make sure that I can't fuck this up, and I will use it to do good things with.

I've also set up a blog, which I hope you will find here.

Understand that I wrote this as an example of the thought process that we struggle with. Most of us are clinically depressed, and we do not get therapy and medication and support. We get told to get over it. And we find ways to cope. I am not saying that people live without hope entirely; that is not human nature. But these are the thoughts that are never too far away, that creep up on us every chance they get, that prey on our better judgement when we are tired and stressed and weakened. We maintain a constant vigil against these thoughts, because we are afraid that if we speak them aloud or even articulate them in our heads they will become unmanageably real.

Thank you for reading. I am glad people find value in it. Because I am getting tired of people not reading this and then commenting anyway, I am making a few things clear: not all of this piece is about me. That is why I said that they were observations. And this piece is not all of me: that is why I said that they were random observations rather than complete ones. If you really have to urge me to abort or keep my knees closed or wonder whether I can fax you my citizenship documents or if I really in fact have been poor because I know multisyllabic words, I would like to ask that you read the comments and see whether anyone has made your point in the particular fashion you intend to. It is not that I mind trolls so much, it's that they're getting repetitive and if you have to say nothing I hope you can at least do it in an entertaining fashion.

If, however, you simply are curious about something and actually want to have a conversation, I do not mind repeating myself because those conversations are valuable and not actually repetitive. They tend to be very specific to the asker, and I am happy to shed any light I can. I do not mind honest questions. They are why I wrote this piece.

Thank you all, so much. I don't know what life will look like next week, and for once that's a good thing. And I have you to thank.
This post first appeared on killermartinis.kinja.com

XOXOXO

I Was Given the Number 10

2013-11-22T08:58:00.000-08:00

Growing into me, with a little help from my friends.

Ten things you may not know about me.

1. My Mom and Dad owned a gas and mercantile store when I was growing up. They gave people credit based on their word, not credit cards. They gave a lot of free gas and groceries away.

2. Paula Gaskin sealed our friendship in 1^st grade by giving me her color crayons. She later took them from me, but it didn’t matter. We’ve been lifelong best friends ever since.

3. I used to pass notes in school. My notes always came back spelling and grammar corrected by Paula Gaskin. Who needs English teachers with a friend like that!

4. Because I passed notes in school, I missed a lot of Algebra lessons. Paula spent time teaching me what I missed in class. Due to her tutoring I won the Algebra Awards instead of her.

5. Those road signs “Bridge Ices before Road” are true!!! I almost killed Laurie Mathes while driving her RX7 a little too fast when we hit an icy overpass on I10. We did multiple hydroplane circles across the bridge and should have plunged off the overpass when God intervened and saved us. Not a scratch on us or her car. Needless to say, Laurie took over driving the rest of the way home.

6. God is my number One. He has blessed me with more than I ever imagined possible and then some. God forgives and He never leaves when times get tough. He sent me Jennifer Klassen and Terri Carter. 'Nough said.

7. I’ve been very blessed to have a great twin brother, Mickey Peters. My mom handmade matching outfits for us when we were little. Mickey is handsome, funny, smart, artistic and all things good. But, he does have a bad temper which I’m proud to say I honed and developed over the course of our lives.

8. Look up “Clumsy” in the dictionary and you’ll see me. I have the talent for finding that small patch of ice, wet floor, hole in the ground, or even on a perfectly flat surface will break-dance into a painful fall.

9. It’s taken me years to become comfortable with me. If I could go back to my high school days, I would tell every girl at that age, “Don’t sweat it.” High school doesn’t define who you are, so don’t let it. You can be ANYTHING you want. Keep the power of becoming who you are with YOU. And never forget you are the STAR of your own life.

10. I’m sexy most of the time! I’ve learned sexy is not a size. It’s feeling good in your own skin, regardless of physical flaws or what others think. Sexy is letting go of regrets, laughing, being confident, smart, strong and finding good in a world of chaos.

XOXOXO

Live Life Happy

2013-10-18T07:45:00.000-07:00

God is good! Happy Friday.

Always Live Life Happy

Loving the Fall

2013-10-15T14:50:00.000-07:00

I love the month of October for many reasons. It's the beginning of Fall and the weather is cooling off. There seems to be a freshness in the air. October reminds me of football games, wearing sweaters and trick or treating.

Love the Fall.....how about you?

These Doubts

2013-01-03T12:00:00.000-08:00

Reprint from my Corpgirl Hubpages site.....written in the summer 2012. Hope you enjoy.

My first thought of the day......"What the heck.....?". I look around and for a second or two everything's a blur. It's a moment in time, but suddenly everything comes clearly into focus. This is my life. I'm here and everything before has led to this moment.

I'm standing beside this man completely aware of him. He's a constant for me. He's my husband. The love of my life. In that, I have no doubt. There's no second thoughts. He is it. I say that because, it's true. It will always be true. And yet, I have doubts every single day. I'm fractured and broken.

He deserves better. I'm not good enough. I never will be and yet, he's still here. The little doubts of a life time creep in and the questions begin. Why is he still here? When will he realize all I'm not? Am I enough? I can easily work myself into a frenzy. In fact, I have at times. I have my ups and downs.
Yes, I am broken, honest to a fault and self effacing. I tend to play down my good traits. Yes, there are a few......<smile>

I'm calling this out, because no matter how faulty I am, I am a smart woman. I am strong. I am enduring and durable. I have a big heart and care for others. I love with all my heart. It breaks at times, but it mends and makes me stronger. I laugh often and can be quite funny in my own quirky ways. I cry too, but not always because I'm sad or mad. I can take knocks and I can give them. I have patience and can out wait the best of 'em. I can provide for my family, for me and others. I have charity and give, sometimes too much. I can sing....offkey, but will belt it out and feel giddy for it. I can dance and do and I don't care that it's more a jitter than rhythm. It fills me up and elates me. I can hope, imagine the impossible and it sustains me.

Yes, I have my doubts. They come and go. They make me stronger and remind me where I am, where I've been and where I want to go.

XOXOXO

Congressional Reform Act of 2013 - Let's Do This

2013-01-02T10:49:00.002-08:00

Excerpt from CNBC below.....it's food for thought in getting our government back to working for us instead of against us!!!!

Warren Buffett, in a recent interview with CNBC, offers one of the best quotes about the debt ceiling:

"I could end the deficit in 5 minutes," he told CNBC. "You just pass a law that says that anytime there is a deficit of more than 3% of GDP, all sitting members of Congress are ineligible for re-election.

The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took only 3 months & 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple! The people demanded it. That was in 1971 - before computers, e-mail,
cell phones, etc.

Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took one (1) year or less to become the law of the land - all because of public pressure.

Congressional Reform Act of 2013

1. No Tenure / No Pension.

A Congressman/woman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they're out of office.

2. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security.

All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system, and Congress participates with the American people. It may not be used for any other purpose.

3. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans do.

4. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

5. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people.

6. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people.

7. All contracts with past and present Congressmen/women are void effective 1/1/13. The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen/women.

Congress made all these contracts for themselves. Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s), then go home and back to work.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I like it!

XOXOXO

Warning - Gas Exposure

2012-10-09T12:01:00.002-07:00

Door to my son's bathroom. Enter at your own risk!!!

XOXOXOXO

It's Time to Walk

2012-10-01T12:02:00.001-07:00

My grandson, Gavin, is on the brink of walking at almost 11 months old. He can easily pull himself up, he can push chairs across the rooms, rearrange the furniture in my house and he can outcrawl most four-legged bodies, but he's not yet walking on his own. Hmmm, wonder why.

Those damn cats.....

XOXOXO

Tazer Fun

2012-09-28T10:16:00.000-07:00

Borrowed from a friend on FB. This is long but worth the laugh... Happy Friday and Thanks Tanya Smith Bradley for sharing!

WARNING: BEFORE you read this, go use the restroom... & DO NOT have liquid in your mouth...just in case. Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. ... A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn S...

hop that sparked my interest.. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer. The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another. The directions said that: a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!! I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room. Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution: There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return! PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

XOXOXO

The Water is Rising

2012-05-22T10:47:00.002-07:00

2012 - is noted as the last year of the Mayans calendar and prophesies of the end of times. Is the world ending this year? The weather is one of many indicators and frankly, it's been all over the board. Storms are bursting throughout, tornadoes imploding across our communities with catastrophic results and the water is rising. It is indeed crazy times.

I've weathered worse. Not that I'm tempting Mother Nature. She'll knock us down quicker than a sneeze. But, even with this year's crazy storms rushing in all directions, we're still here. We've been knocked down and we rise again. It's what we do.

With the storms, more flash floods are expected. Whether your yard becomes a mud pile or a small river, it can easily damage your home. Cleaning flood waters is not easy and must be dealt with quickly. You need a team that can quickly assess and provide water extraction round rock,

My hope is you won't need to recover from a storm, from floods. But, if you do....be ready. Lend a hand when needed. Call when you need help.

XOXOXO

Amendment One Passed in NC

2012-05-09T09:24:00.001-07:00

What is Amendment One?

The measure defines marriage in the state constitution as between one man and one woman, and bans any other type of "domestic legal union" such as civil unions and domestic partnerships.

Constitutional amendment to provide that marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State.

Opposition for Amendment One:

This isn't JUST about gays and same sex marriages. It's about basic rights for men and women and their families. It's about the right to choose and not have a government streamline our choices for domestic families. It's about providing equal benefits to couples in a domestic partnership regardless of sexual orientation. It's about protecting minorities rights. It is discriminatory to deny rights and benefits to same-sex couples and domestic partnerships.

Supporters for Amendment One:

It's a financial argument. Amendment One without banning same-sex unions, situations in which married same-sex couples move from states like New York would seek legal rights and argued the state was not "equipped to handle that." Rep. Paul Stam said, "They're going to bring with them their same-sex marriages. They're going to want to get divorced" and have custody issues decided, he said. "We're not equipped to handle that".

May 8, 2012 Unofficial election results:

Amendment 1
Result	Votes	Percentage
a Yes	1,303,952	61.05%
No	831,788	38.95%

Did you vote? I did. It's my right to vote.....for now. But, who knows what my rights will be down the road, and my children's rights, and their children. Who will infringe upon my choices tomorrow if I choose a diverse point of view?

XOXOXO

Stiletto Sprint - Charlotte, NC

2012-04-30T13:49:00.000-07:00

I happy to report this was not a women's only event. This was a fully engaged multi-gender, age-don't-matter, foot stomping, high heeled, good time. And, for a wonderful cause benefiting the Carolinas Ovarian Cancer Fund at Levine Cancer Institute (LCI). Amount raised, one heel at a time: $63,486.75.

Some highlights from Team Twinkle Teals for Wendy:
"I was beat by a cancer survivor running carrying her dog"
"I was beat by men on 'Team Barbara' all in 3" heels duct tape to their feet" Barbara lost her battle 3 months prior and they were crying at the finish line.
"The primary sponsor of the event is a man who lost his wife 5 years prior - he was dressed up like Wonder Woman"
"There were more men running in dresses than women"!
"I couldn't control myself when they interviewed the 12 year old ovarian cancer survivor in front of the crowd"
"I balled again when the survivors raced to "I Will Survive" and a 70+ woman walked in 6" platform heels"

As their motto goes......"A good pair of heels can save a life!" Congratulations to all that participated. It's never too late to give.

Levine Cancer Institute is dedicated to supporting the fight against ovarian cancer by educating the community about ovarian cancer symptoms, conducting cutting edge research involving early detection, and providing the most current treatment options for women with ovarian cancer.

This year in the United States, over 20,000 women will be diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Nearly 70% of these women are diagnosed at an advanced stage. The disease is often called the silent killer because symptoms can be so vague.

Symptoms can include: bloating or feeling pressure in the belly; pain in the abdomen or pelvis; feeling full too quickly during meals; and urinating more frequently

Courtney McMillion - Rest in Peace, April 27, 2012

2012-04-28T11:02:00.000-07:00

Within a blink of an eye, our world can be turned upside down. Death comes every day; one day for us.

One of my childhood friends lost her daughter yesterday. She was only 23 years old! So young and beautiful. I don't have too much detail, but understood it was very sudden. Speculations of an aneurysm.

I am so heartbroken for Margaret and her family. No parent should have to see their children pass before them. It's unnatural and tragic. Losing a love one is devastating, but losing someone so young, in their prime has to be one of the hardest things. I know God has a plan for all of us. He won't give us more than we can bear. But, this seems unbearable.

Perhaps there is some small comfort to know that Courtney, in her too short life, left lasting memories for those that knew her well, for the family that raised and adored her, for the fiance' that planned his life with her, and for the rest that only had fleeting moments. We will remember.

Tonight I want to hold my family close and tell them I love them more than I can say. Life is too short and the next blink may change our lives forever. Don't waste another moment in regret. Even the shortest moment should be as if it's your last.

May you rest in peace dear Courtney. Another angel takes flight.

XOXOXO

End of an Era

2012-04-19T08:54:00.000-07:00

Such sad news to hear of Dick Clark's passing, 1929 - 2012. Such is life that all good things must come to an end.

I grew up watching Dick Clark and American Band Stand. We had so much fun listening, dancing and watching the show. We listened to him on the radio, TV and of course, watched the new year's rockin' eve and the iconic Time Square ball dropping each year. It's become a norm with my family to watch every year.

Obviously Mr. Clark led a full life with many successes and a legacy that won't be forgotten any time soon. In fact, I feel confident that millions of people from my generation and my children's will long remember him and his work.

It's always sad to say good-bye. In doing so, it's a reminder that all of us are passing through, the time shorter than not. And, a reminder to make the best of our journey while we're here.

Farewell Mr. Clark and rest in peace.

Equal Pay Day - Today

2012-04-17T11:47:00.001-07:00

SERIOUSLY?!?

FAIR & COMPARABLE PAY

Have your heard of this??? Men and women, even into the 21st century still do not share equalized payment. A woman does the same job as a man and gets paid less.

TODAY (theoretically) marks the length of time a woman had to work into 2012 in order to make the same amount of money that her male counterpart made in 2011. ~ One year, four and half months for a woman to earn the same money doing the same job.

I'm sure there are some male cynics asking themselves....."How the heck did she get the job in the first place. After all, it's a man's job." S I G H. Such is life in corporate America.

Neighbor Girl

2012-04-17T07:06:00.000-07:00

Guest post from: Constance Rodgers

My neighbor’s kid just walks right in my house any time she wants. She doesn’t knock. She doesn’t ring the doorbell. She just walks right in. I’ll be sitting there in my chair, and in walks the little neighbor girl. She doesn’t even say, “Hi.” She just starts talking like she’s been there all along. It is so bizarre and crazy. Her mom will usually come running up a few minutes behind, apologizing profusely and taking her daughter home with her. I don’t want to keep the doors locked when I am home. I like to go in and out of the house to work in the yard and what not. I don’t want to have to keep up with locking the door just to keep the neighbor girl out. I am even thinking maybe we should look at adt home alarms, just to make the point to this girl that she can’t just walk in to someone’s house. We are nice people, who would never do her any harm, but not everyone is that way.

Big Girls Don't Cry

2012-04-16T11:17:00.000-07:00

To set the record straight, I cry all the time. It's probably the single most talented thing I can do. I've had years of experience and almost every day to experience. I cry when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm mad, when I'm tired, or confused, or lost and then found.

I cry when I see someone else cry or see things amissed. When I see hardship and recovery, when I lose control or realize I never had control. I cry when I remember time past, time lost and people forgotten. I cry when I feel pain, joy, grace and blessings.

I cry for my family and friends. I'm so well versed to cry for them and I'm good at it too.

I'm a big girl. And, I love the song by the Four Seasons. It's on my song list for road trips. We went and saw Jersey Boys earlier this year and thoroughly enjoyed their many many songs. My son and I love singing their songs.

I cry and I'm a big girl too.

XOXOXO

Handbag Storage That's More Than a Few Plastic Hooks

2012-03-20T08:35:00.000-07:00

Guest post written by Rachel Scholl

It can really surprise me when I go through my whole closet and really am reminded of just how many purses I have! It's quite fascinating to figure that out and then realize all of these cute purses that I forgot I had and haven't been carrying as a result! I guess that it's more of a shame than anything, really. So I'm going to try to keep that from happening less often by finding a much better storage solution for all of my purses.

I wasn't that surprised to find some credit card counseling tips when I was looking for purse organization ideas. Actually, in my case and in a lot of other people's cases, I think that having credit card debt is closely tied to having a really awesome purse collection. But the credit card debt isn't awesome and I'm going to get that counseling for it.

I did find some great ideas for handbag storage and I think that I'm actually going to employ several of them. See, I have so many that I don't think that just one of these solutions is going to quite do it for me!

Moving Here

2012-03-16T17:05:00.000-07:00

Guest Blog.........

Posted by Gaylord Campbell

When we first moved out her I thought my life was over to be honest with you. I’d never been much of a country girl and now not only was I in the country I was in the COUNTRY – there wasn’t so much as a gas station for ten miles outside our front door. But my husband had always had the dream of becoming a professional cheesemaker and I knew we needed the land if he was ever going to do it so I guess it was the right thing. I love him to death and I can handle a few years on the farm to help him follow his goals because I know he would do the same for me if it came down to it. I love being out here and thankfully someone told me about http://www.satellitestarinternet.com which is helpful because at least I can still email all my friends. I like the quiet and the nature but sometimes I really long for a Nordstrom or some other society thing I miss!

Some People have all the Luck!

2012-03-16T17:02:00.000-07:00

Luck is in the eyes of the beholder.

We all have luck....just not always good kind. But, when it is good.....it's wonderful. Something you want to grasp tightly and not let slip away. I treat my luck like love. Believe in it, hope for it and grab it when you can.

XOXOX

Moving Here

2012-03-16T16:53:00.002-07:00

Posted by Gaylord Campbell

When we first moved out her I thought my life was over to be honest with you. I’d never been much of a country girl and now not only was I in the country I was in the COUNTRY – there wasn’t so much as a gas station for ten miles outside our front door. But my husband had always had the dream of becoming a professional cheesemaker and I knew we needed the land if he was ever going to do it so I guess it was the right thing. I love him to death and I can handle a few years on the farm to help him follow his goals because I know he would do the same for me if it came down to it. I love being out here and thankfully someone told me about http://www.satellitestarinternet.com which is helpful because at least I can still email all my friends. I like the quiet and the nature but sometimes I really long for a Nordstrom or some other society thing I miss!

Missed It

2012-02-15T15:54:00.002-08:00

Yesterday is already today! And, I'm probably the only girl that missed Valentine's Day. No flowers, no candies, no gifts....nada. It's not the first time my V-day has gone amissed....but at least I was consciously aware it was V-day....and sadly I had received n-o-t-h-i-n-g. This year.....I completely missed the day.

My husband did call me (I'm traveling) and we did our normal talk and "I love you's". But no Valentine celebration. SIGH

I'm getting older....obviously. But, going forward I don't want to miss one single opportunity to celebrate....anything. Including V-day!! Whatever the next holiday is....count me in to celebrate and make up for lost time.

Hope everyone that remembered had a good one.

xoxoxo

Wife Wants Me To Cut Back On Tv

2012-02-10T19:19:00.000-08:00

I appreciate the guest post, by Lindsay Valdez!

My wife and I finally bought our own house. To be honest, I thought I would be a lot more excited, but it has been so stressful. We found the perfect house and we both fell in love with it. The only problem was that it was slightly out of our “comfortable” range. We can still afford it, but we just needed to make some budget adjustments. Well, we thought the adjustments would be easy so we bought the house. Lately, we have been arguing about everything. I wanted her to cut back on her shopping and she wanted me to get the cheapest package she could find on http://www.expertsatellite.com/. I don’t mind saving money, but I need to have all the channels and the cheapest package doesn’t offer that. She doesn’t understand that the only way I can wind down after a long day of work is by mindlessly watching television. I understand that I don’t watch all the channels, but I need to know that I can if I need or want to. I just hope we figure this all out soon.

Dying for the Sales

2012-02-10T19:17:00.000-08:00

A few years ago (pre-2008), if some one asked me where I worked, I would have smiled and spoken proudly. "I work for a bank".   Now, I'm hesitant to tell people I don't know very well where I work. It may get me hurt.

I get it..... I'm angry about big corporate giants whose ultimate purpose is to make money for their shareholders and they lose sight of the little people.  The bottom line will dictate their actions. Consumers get hit with additional fees, employees lose benefits or worse, they lose their jobs. It's a tough world out there.

But, there's another slice of the corporate market that seemed to escape the media frenzy. I'm not sure why, since it's a matter of life or death for hundreds of thousands of people.   Where are the shouts and anger toward the medical industry? Where are the occupiers and why aren't they sitting in front of hospitals and pharmaceutical companies?

Doctors have very strong incentive to prescribe expensive name brand medicines.  It's part of their profits (and paid commissions). The generic meds (that work just as well in most cases) are not being prescribed. Economic 101, when demands go down, supplies will go down for the generic meds. In fact, generic meds are in grave short supplies and the little people can't afford the expensive name brand meds.

We live in trying times. Our economy is a mess. Our government is even worse, and they continue to dig us further in the hole with senseless spending that won't benefit the people.

But, I've digressed.   We have a huge shortage of much needed medicines for people with curable diseases.  Without the medicine these children and adults won't have a chance. Seriously, where are the occupiers?!? Where are the shouts and screams and fist waving.

How much wronger can this be???

That Phone Call

2012-01-14T09:26:00.000-08:00

Guest post written by my buddy Bernardo Graham

Since I have a home alarm system at my house I pretty much set it, leave the house and never think about it again. I go about my business all day every day not even thinking twice about my house and all of its belongings. The only time that feeling ever waivers is when you see that 800 number flash across your cell phone caller ID and you just know that it is the monitoring company calling to let you know something or someone has set off your home alarm. It is quite a scary feeling to be away from your home and have someone from adt bristol ask you if you can meet the police there and they are already in route. This has happened to me only once and thank the Lord it was just my dog barking inside that set off the glass break sensors we have in our kitchen. I was so upset with my dog but at the same time so happy that nothing really bad had happened I didn’t know whether to get mad or cry.