Iitoko Texas いいとこテキサス (ダラス・プレーノ)

Holiday Gifts with Lasting Impact

2020-11-30T14:30:00.000-06:00

I have been living here in the States for about 30 years and have tried to immerse myself in our society and culture. Yet, holiday gift giving is one of the things I have not accustomed to. It's not likely because of the culture I grew up in. In fact, the gift giving custom is more prevalent in Japan. When I was in middle school, many decades ago, I remember going through boxes and boxes of unopened gifts my mother kept and wondering why they keep giving and receiving all the things they don't even use.

Well, I had accepted the reasons for and benefits of gift giving a long time ago. I also did typical Christmas presents things when my children were small - wrapping many boxes after they went to sleep, putting them under the decked out trees, and placing cookies for Santa in front of the fireplace. When children still believed in Santa...it was lots of fun.

But, after they realized Santa was not real, I stopped. Magic was gone and there was no reason to pretend. So, the following year, I wrote several Christmas coupons on the cards, put them in envelopes, and hung them on the tree. I want to say I came up with that idea, but I most likely read about it in the paper or something. (This was right before the internet with dial tone came to our house.)

I thought coupons were clever, but they were not fun and quickly forgotten. I wanted to add something meaningful that would last longer and potentially impact their lives. So, I focused on going on trips with children; mini ones in spring and fall and big adventures in summer. We explored new places, got into some mishaps, and had blasts. They were not exclusively holiday gifts, but that did not bother much. We cherish those memories and still talk about them.

When children were in high school, I gave each a letter promising airplane tickets to and from anywhere in the world. The stipulation was they had to write why they wanted to go and what they wanted to do; and they had to convince me. After traveling together for years, I thought they were ready to take off on their own. Since then, they traveled far and wide, experienced many things they wanted to try, and went on their own adventures.

They are now grown. They know what they want and can get those themselves. I’m definitely grateful for that. It just makes it more challenging for me to come up with something that would give a lasting impact. My latest presents were the program that was designed to help them think and write about how they want to live their lives. I worked on it myself and it helped me a lot. Like those airplane tickets, it might take time before they embrace this one. But, when they decide and work on it, I sure hope it will help them make their lives better.

Why speak your mind? 4 - Carefully and truthfully

2020-11-08T20:27:00.001-06:00

Trump lost. “Time to Heal”, Biden said.

Let it heal. Then, reflect on what happened in the last four years, how we let that happen, how that affected us. And, ask if we want that to happen again.

I went through that process three years ago. It is nothing strange. I just happen to let someone with the same personality type tyrannize me for decades and got out a few years before our nation did.

As I healed, I started to speak my mind again - carefully and truthfully as I could. Then things started to change. I was able to put closures to the things that had been in my mind for a long time. Endless efforts that used to go nowhere started to bring some results. Now I feel solid ground under my feet again and ready to build things up from here. Most importantly, I no longer feel all alone in the darkness even in this COVID-19 induced isolation.

Speaking our mind carefully and truthfully affects whether potential tyrants stay just potentials or become full blown tyrants to us. At least, that has been my experience, and I should have learned a lesson or two from that.

Empty shelf - no more

2020-10-15T09:38:00.001-05:00

I have floating shelves on both sides of my fireplace. The top left shelf has been empty...for a long time. It’s the most prominent self. I just have not found anything I like for that spot.

I’ve tried potted plants, fresh cut flowers, and tree branches - all of which required regular attention. I already have a tall ceramic sculpture on the shelf across the fireplace, so it has to balance without being too similar. I thought about a drift log. (We had one I really liked growing up at my parents’ “tokonoma”. We brought it from a mountain and varnished it.) But, I wanted something vertical. How about a stone sculpture? But, that felt too heavy for a floating shelf. Umm... Nothing clicked. So, I just left it open.

One day, I came across this while looking for something else online.

I liked it, kind of. Simple enough form with upward movement. The size seemed to work, so as the color. It just felt a little too light and somewhat weak. Possibly too curvy to my liking?

When I built this house with a production builder (not custom), the original design had interior arches all over. It was a trend at the time. I told the builder not to make any arch openings and use straight lines instead. I’m glad I did. There are many beautiful curvy things in this world I like and admire. But, I tend to get attracted to cleaner lines, even a tad masculine designs.

Then I thought, well, the self space was nothing but straight lines, so why don’t I put this curvy piece in the middle and see how I like it.

The piece came. It was good, but not great. I felt it needed a little more height and some color as it blended in the mirror behind it. I thought about making a small box base and wrapping it with a piece of beautiful fabric. I checked a few stores and did not find any fabric I liked.

A few weeks past, then I suddenly remembered I had a wooden box that was probably the right size. When I went into the office closet to get it, I saw a Japanese handcrafted paper with silver and gold flakes there. I had this for over thirty years and almost forgot about it.

I carefully wrapped the box with the paper and placed the piece on it. That gave what was missing - a base for this piece’s upward movement.

The peice got a base. The box and paper found their place. The shelf is no longer empty.

Yakushima in sandals

2020-10-04T17:55:00.001-05:00

7 years ago my oldest and I were in Yakushima, Japan. The island with the tallest mountain in Kyushu, famous for its dense forest with 2000+ years old Jomon-Sugi, where they say it rains 35 days in a month.

We barely slept, left the inn shortly before 2 am, took a local bus, then switched to a private bus that dropped us off at the trailhead in pitch black darkness. As more hikers arrived, most with their private guides and headlamps, we headed in. The first leg was pretty easy; we just walked on the old logging railroad.

The scenery got interesting once we left that easy trail and started ascending. Hundreds of mystical looking ancient trees, with roots like tentacles covered with moss, were just everywhere.

As we walked past groups, we overheard their guides explaining the vegetation and the history of the island. Some guides looked at my son’s feet and told us he should not be on this trail. He was hiking in his sandal with T-shirt and shorts - more like being on a beach. Most others were dressed in proper hiking attire.

With those sandals, my son skipped up the trail quickly and had to wait frequently for me to catch up. We had good weather. Trails were all clear on the way up to Jomon-Sugi and down to almost Wilson Stump.

Then rain started. We took shelter in the Stump for a while, quickly realized the rain wouldn't stop anytime soon, and started to trek down. My rain jacket was no use. I was drenched; my hiking boots were full of water and heavy. And, there my son, skipped lightly in his sandal. He even joined a search to help a worrying guide who had two of his parties go off the trail in dense fog. They were located, and the guide thanked him.

Back in the private bus, people talked about how wet they were; their rain suit did not protect them, and so on. It was a bit funny. Sometimes being well equipped won’t help. Oh, I would not recommend hiking there in sandals though. If you are young, fit, and pay attention, maybe you can pull it off.

A matted stray pup...a year later

2020-08-13T04:39:00.000-05:00

This girl came to live with me a year ago. She just had her annual and shots, and was declared in excellent health. Vet and aides praised how well behaved she was.

She can go off-leash, in a big field when no one around; I don’t need to worry about her running away anymore. She watches the house for me when I leave, and makes no mess; I no longer need to put her in her crate. It took a while to get to this. But, she has good temperaments, so that wasn't hard.

There is this one concern. She does not eat foods. She inhales them, literally. And, she seems always on the hunt for food on walks, and puts almost anything into her mouth. Did she grow up deprived of foods? I don’t know. I have not been able to change this and decide to let go. I'd better monitor how much she eats though. She has gained 12% weight since she came. That’s a bit much.

Living in this pandemic isolation, I feel lucky that she’s with me. I still LOVE German Shepherds; they are my kind of dog, and that likely won’t change. But, deciding to adopt this mini poodle mix last year turned out to be good. Like my daughter quipped, “That’s a sensible choice, Mom!.”

Tesla picked Texas!!

2020-07-23T19:21:00.001-05:00

Yaaay, Tesla picked Texas!! I knew it!

I'm one of those who's been believing in their mission and following them for nearly ten years. When they were building the first Gigafactory in Reno, NV, I contemplated moving there. Well, the new factory will be in Austin. Not exactly nearby. But, just a few-hour drive away. No, I am not moving there. I have a business to run and clients to serve here in Dallas. Still, this news made me so happy :)))

テスラがテキサスにやってきます！彼らのミッションに賛同して、10年近くフォローしているので、うれしいです！まだ、テスラを持ってもいないのに、North Texas Tesla Owners Clubに、4年前の創設当時から入れてもらっている私ですー創始者の好意に感謝。

テスラが何を目指しているのか、ご興味お有りですか？わかり易く面白く書かれたティム・アーバンの記事を、本人の了解を得て、私が日本語にしていますので、どうぞ御覧ください。全部で19ポストのシリーズで、5年前に書いたものですが、今でも十分通じます。今度、テキサスにfactoryをつくるのも、その延長上を突っ走っているってことです！

https://iitokotexas.blogspot.com/2015/07/blog-post.html

https://iitokotexas.blogspot.com/2015/07/blog-post_5.html

Twelve short paragraphs

2020-07-04T16:55:00.001-05:00

There are twelve short paragraphs I recite every morning. I do this while doing a plank at the end of my stretching session. They are the things I need to and want to work on. Some are what I aspire to. So, one can call these my affirmation. Every weekend, I go over these with my calendar, review how I did, and write down.

I’ve been doing this for more than two years. I don’t remember what I had on the first version because I have been editing and updating as I had overcome or attained (enough). Some of them ceased to align with me. I revised most entirely on the new year's day this year. A few months ago, I changed the wordings, thus nuance, of the last three. The previous version had not been sitting well with me and I had been somewhat forcing myself to say them. Now, they feel right (to my current self).

This simple daily and weekly practice has been helping me tremendously. Maybe because I had been in such a horrible state two and a half years ago (and the thirty preceding that.) Starting at the bottom has so much upside...haha. Well, I had been unbelievably lucky in the early part of my life, and thinking about what I had received, overall, I have been pretty lucky.

Looking at these twelve and rereading aloud as I write now, I feel I am good with eleven of them. I have not mastered yet and still need to and want to work. But, at least, I don’t feel I am an impostor when I say these. The last sentence of the last paragraph, however, is still tough to say - I am fulfilling my highest possible potential.

“Doing the best I could” and “fulfilling my highest possible potential” might be similar, yet, I don’t feel that they are the same. The part of me who has learned to “treat myself like someone I am responsible for helping” and “not to tyrannize myself”, kind feel they are similar enough. I don’t know yet. I might be working on and thinking about this for a while.

Wabi-sabi confusion

2020-06-20T22:27:00.001-05:00

Wabi-sabi has been one of the things difficult to explain. I can tell if something has wabi-sabi feel when I see it. Maybe because I grew up in Japan surrounded by them. Or because I love modern interpretation of its style, like Zen influenced California modern.

But, I probably don’t know what it is because I can’t articulate that to my own children. Hell, I can't even do that to myself. It is far more than its words mean. And we value it even though we really don’t understand it. Wired.

I was reading up on the history of cha-shitsu (茶室), tea-ceremony building, recently. That had not helped me to solve the puzzle yet. However, I felt like I might be getting at why it was so confusing. That was not much, yet, it could be a good place to start.

I’m now reading Tao Te Ching. It might help me to see whether my hypothesis, if I can call that, is totally out of whack or I might be onto something.

Down the rabbit hole.

Ocean and babies. What do I really miss?

2020-06-12T17:37:00.000-05:00

So, my baby (the youngest) posted a short video clip of a beach with the Pacific Ocean waves.

That brought back some memories from almost thirty years ago. I had a real newborn baby back then, my oldest.

I used to take him to Palisades Park in Santa Monica and pushed the stroller up and down along the beach. Another favorite place we frequented was the original Getty Museum; now called the Getty Villa. At night, I played "Pachelbel Canon D Major Ocean Sounds" on cassette tape to help us sleep.

Do I miss the ocean? Yes. I grew up near one. It intensifies, because one just can not hop on a plane and go now. I should be grateful, and I am, that I can just go to a nice swimming pool and swim. But, it's not the same.

Do I miss my children? Definitely and sometimes terribly. None live nearby. (My daughter lives the closest. Still, five hours drive away.) Okay, I am the one who has been telling them to go and explore the world on their own. And, that's what they are doing. So, I am honestly happy for them. I am also grateful that they grew up to be wonderful adults and that we have great relationships. We text, video chats, and all that. But again, it's not the same. I miss hugging them.

I know I am okay. I have things to do and am doing them as usual. I just miss real and good human connections, face to face kinds. Like billions of others, I'm sure. Until this pandemic becomes more manageable, I need to stick to virtual means. Not the same, but better than no contact.

Renzo was a cutie. He was also very alert. This is him at only a couple weeks old. Yes, he was born with that much hair. A nurse in the delivery room told me, "Oh, you are having a cat baby!"

One day, I was sitting on a bench at Palisades Park with Renzo. He was probably three or four months old. A well dressed old gentleman sat next to me. He was watching Renzo for a while, then, asked me if I would consider selling him for a million dollars. I was taken aback and laughed off. Well, he was so cute and had infectious giggles. He was a people magnet.

He is nearly thirty now. Grown. Up. Okay, I feel much better now. 😌

A prominent Japanese joined Tesla board

2020-06-05T12:53:00.003-05:00

Tesla's shareholder proxy vote had a Japanese name listed.

For a split second, I thought he must be an executive from Panasonic. I am glad I did not dismiss it as such and googled him instead.

Tesla Welcomes Hiromichi Mizuno (水野弘道) as New Independent Director to its Board...
Hiro’s entire career has been in finance and investment... Most recently, Hiro served as Executive Managing Director and Chief Investment Officer of Japan’s Government Pension Investment Fund, which is the largest pension fund in the world with approximately $1.5 trillion in assets under management.

During his time there, Hiro emphasized the importance of environmental considerations in portfolio management and became a global thought leader in sustainable and responsible investment. He also challenged many established market practices, including short-selling, to promote long-term value creation by corporations. ....
We are excited that Hiro has joined our mission to accelerate the world’s transition to sustainable energy.

(excerpt from) https://ir.tesla.com/static-files/f455a322-7032-4a6f-a314-df1afc21397f

He is the only prominent Japanese who works with Tesla (well, other than Panasonic) I've come across in a decade I've been following Tesla.

He is also articulate. He sounds like he talks about what he believes, which, unfortunately, is rare in governments or corporations in Japan.

Here is a short talk he gave at Cambridge in January this year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AIlgTwqo2M (Short talk)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNHhYytoJQE (Q&A)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC-Z4Q8wdj0 (Q&A)

It's possible someone like him is not that unusual in current Japan. I may just don't know as I have not been following anything of or about Japan for three decades. If that's the case, please excuse my ignorance.

Anyhow, I am glad that someone from Japan, who has an influence, joined Tesla to accelerate the world's transition to sustainable energy. A piece of good news in a rather dark time.

#Tesla #sustainableenergy #HiromichiMizuno

P.S.

If you want to know what Tesla's mission is all about, in detail with background info and stories, read this. It's the best and easiest to understand among all I've come across. And, it's fun to read.

https://waitbutwhy.com/2015/06/how-tesla-will-change-your-life.html

If you want to read the above in Japanese, I have translated it into Japanese and summarised, with the author's permission. It's 19 parts published in this blog in 2015. Hope you enjoy it.

https://iitokotexas.blogspot.com/2015/07/blog-post.html

seventeen more...

Lawrence Wright Predicted This Would Happen - Krys Boyd interviewed Lawrence Wright

2020-05-03T00:56:00.001-05:00

No, I did not get fearful or panicky. On the contrary, I felt calm and somewhat relieved after listening to this interview.

The guest was Lawrence Wright. If you google him now, you probably see words like “terrifying” or “creepy”. Why? Because he submitted a novel last fall about a pandemic and aftermath of what happened to the world. And this spring, so far, what he portrayed has happened.

I felt more in peace, maybe because I sensed he was telling the truth. The truth he managed to derive from his dedicated research. Man, he has been talking with those pandemic researchers way before anybody else paid any attention or respect they have deserved. I firmly believe we can face and do whatever necessary if we feel people are telling the truth.

You are welcome to draw your own opinion. But, this interview helped to stabilize my mind better than anything I’ve read or listened to so far.

https://beta.prx.org/stories/319105?fbclid=IwAR1D8wRZaoeu5cMVyG1DwMoKheOR0P8-Y2V6Rr1iOABlzvruua48LPEv-ko

Andrew Lloyd Webber musical masterpieces for free (48 hours)

2020-04-17T19:19:00.003-05:00

I just L-O-V-E musicals. Yes, I love all kinds of performances. But, musicals...they make my heart leap.

I am so grateful Andrew Lloyd Webber is letting us enjoy his masterpieces for free. This is the next best thing to attending the live version. And, there are no live ones now anyway.

Only for 48 hours for each piece, so don’t miss. (24 hours for my friends in UK!)

Last week, the first piece was “Jesus Christ SuperStar”. I have watched it in person a long time ago. I did not dislike the show, but it did not speak to me much back then. This time, even on screen - maybe because their performances and productions were jaw dropping good, and maybe because I have learned so much about the depth of human minds and behaviors since - it shook me.

I now have something I can look forward to each weekend. Hope you can enjoy it as well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nINQjT7Zr9w

Treating myself - taking a breath

2020-04-15T20:17:00.003-05:00

Feeling a bit blue, I decided to treat myself with a nice breakfast.

My initial realization this COVID-19 was a real threat came when I heard Austin’s SXSW was canceled in early March, so it’s been well over a month. Quarantine and social isolation fatigue are setting in, I’d bet.

I know this shall pass. I know we will be okay. I know I will be okay as long as I stay healthy and do not become a statistic.

I’ve overcome plenty of hell in the last 30+ years. So, this is nothing.

I just need to be mindful, careful, and wise. I just need to keep working on what I need to take care of now, prepare for the better future, and treat myself from time to time to feel blessed I am able to breathe on this beautiful earth.

My refrigerator was in trouble. So, what to do?

2020-04-11T19:39:00.000-05:00

My refrigerator was in trouble. So, what to do?

“shelter in place” + “avoid people coming into my house” = “DIY
repair”

If it was in normal time, I would have bought a new one. My fridge is 21 years old. It had a major repair 10 years ago. Water supply to it was cut and capped two years ago - so, no chilled water, no ice at the door. Its freezer has suffered ice-dam a few times before, and a new ice sheet was building up at the bottom. Renzo offered to fix it, but the freezer was full of food at that time.

If I was to buy a new one, people need to deliver it, set it up in my kitchen and remove the existing one. I did not want to take that kind of risk just yet. So, as my freezer mostly emptied out I decided to tackle it.

Thanks to YouTube, figuring out the problem (frozen drain) wasn’t difficult. The toughest part was trying to get to the back of the fridge to clean and make sure the drain was clear. My fridge is surrounded by three walls, snug, and fronted by a large kitchen island. Even with my petite frame, it was tight. I felt like being that Asian acrobat guy in Ocean’s Eleven.

Well, anyway, it is fixed. Well, at least it seems working now. There is this hack I saw, placing a copper wire from the heating element to the drain hole in the freezer, which I wanted to try to prevent future freezing. I looked around my garage and there was no copper wire. And again, I did not want to risk going to HomeDepot just to get a few inches of wire. So, I removed the plastic covering from electrical wire, twisted it together, and used it.

Hope this works. Time will tell. Or someone with this kind of knowledge can tell me what I did was stupid and I should have used something else. But, sometimes, you just have to do with what you have at hand. Trying to learn a tiny bit from those NASA engineers in the Apollo 13 movie. 😁

What am I doing while under Coronavirus lock down?

2020-03-18T18:52:00.000-05:00

I was supposed to be in Austin for a conference and my son (the oldest) was supposed to be flying to Peru today. Well, we are both in Plano. All my in-person schedules have been canceled like many of yours. My son's situation is a bit harsher. He moved out of Colorado a month and a half ago and has been staying with me before going to Peru for three months. Peru closed its border a day before, and his plan evaporated. Obviously, he was not happy. But, it could have been worse. If his plan was to leave a few days earlier, he could have been stuck at the airport or in Peru during this chaos. Everything is relative, so I am not complaining.

Don’t I worry about the Coronavirus? Yes, to some degree. I don’t think my bronchi and lungs are that tough. I tend to get bronchitis easily. Although swimming in recent years should have strengthened my pipes and I haven’t suffered one for quite some time, it’s best not to get this virus into my system, at least until things get more stabilized.

Fortunately, I keep my house reasonably stocked with basic necessities, so no rush-buy needed. And there is enough work I can do from home, thanks to the technologies. Last few days, we were under lockdown and it's been pouring. So, what did I do other than working? Filed income tax and franchise tax, made a plan for asset allocation revisions, had my car inspected and registered. Just taking care of things I need to and can. So, when new opportunities show up, I am better prepared to go after them swiftly.

Being mindful and careful enough so I can stay healthy, active and productive seems to be the best thing I can do now. If I feel up to it, I might even paint another large canvas this weekend. I had fun painting one last month. It added nice colors to my neutral living room wall.

Hope you are staying healthy and active!

Holding onto it or saying goodbye?

2019-12-13T23:18:00.000-06:00

I've been using this ball cap last fifteen years or so. It's the only one I have. I've been taking it everywhere from my daily walks to my latest trip to Australia.

It's still perfectly functional and clean. A little bit of fraying showed up after yesterday's wash. I know what I am going to do... just mend it with a needle and thread.

I tend to keep things for a long time. When we entered our elementary school, we all received a plastic pencil case, a blue one for a boy and a pink one for a girl (typical!). A cheap semi-translucent plastic, which would break easily if you step on it accidentally. I used it every day and took good care of it. I graduated from elementary school with it, still in good working condition.

Believing in sustainability, this should be a good trait to have. But, is it really?

I have learned, sometimes, it's better to say goodbye a lot sooner. Especially, when holding onto it prolonged your suffering.

Now I know if something is good (for me, my life, my future, my family, friends and everything I care about), I'd keep it. If not, I'd say goodbye. So, I can move forward and find something better.

I'd keep this ball cap for a while, though.

Time to let go of my childhood dream...fondly. 2

2019-12-07T06:03:00.002-06:00

I joined the Overseas Study Club soon after I enrolled at my university. We spent our first summer break in eastern Hokkaido. (It felt like a foreign country to a girl from Kagoshima.) We traveled to S. Korea during the following spring break. (The first time I got my passport.) When we were having a great time at a tourist site, a group of young Korean guys walked up to us and started telling us what the Japanese did during WWII. It felt like a bucket of ice water dumped on me. Because I knew nothing about it, I did not know what they were saying was true or not. Realizing how ignorant I was about Japan, I spent the following summer break in Kyoto and Nara, walking around everywhere visiting many shrines, temples, gardens, paths, and historical sites. I tried to take in art, culture, history and everything else.

My anthropology professor asked me to assist a researcher do her fieldwork around Kagoshima. She was an Italian American at Oxford U, doing her research at Tokyo University. So, I spent my third summer break with her visiting all over Kagoshima, some well known but mostly remote places I had never been to. Her research was about people’s perception of spirit after death; we met and interviewed many locals, mostly old, including monks and priests. We also visited my hometown and stayed at my parents’ house. Before we left, my very proud Japanese father took me aside and told me he approved of her even though she was not Japanese.

I ended up taking all the necessary credits to graduate in three years. (Back then, universities in Japan were hard to get in, but easy to graduate.) I also did various part-time jobs to supplement my living expenses, fund my travelings, and save for my eventual trip to Australia. By then, I had saved up enough chunk to let me go. The problem was that I have not found any reasonable resources or reasons to convince my father to let me. Australia was still a faraway land.

My high school and its Jr. college where my father wanted me to attend were near my university. The Jr. college had three English teachers from the U.S. They were my friends. They encouraged me to go to America instead. My economic geography professor, who was in charge of my degree, was supportive as well. So, in my senior year, I spent six months traveling around many parts of the U.S. and Canada, met up with many people, and did some research along the way. I went back to Kagoshima, wrote my thesis and graduated in four years.

I worked at a small company that operated homestay and exchange student programs. It located yet walking distance to my university. One day, I came across information via my university club mate about a British based youth adventure program. I applied and went through multiple selection processes. To my surprise, I was selected to participate in this all-expense-paid project in, none other than, Australia.

Finally, I was in my dreamland. Three months in Kakadu National Park and Bathurst Island in the Northern Territory, exploring Aborigineese wall paintings, laying freshwater pipelines and building small rock pool for Aborigineese children...I was in heaven. We worked hard to our physical limit almost every day, shared incredible moments in harsh natural conditions, slept under the sky full of bright southern stars, in a mosquito net, on a cot, in outback bushland. We developed life long friendships.

After the project, I traveled around Australia for a month, then went back to Japan, determined to be back to Downunder with a proper job and a visa. I did not go back to Kagoshima. Instead, I stayed in Tokyo and looked for a job. When I saw a wanted ad by Qantas Tokyo office, I felt something was helping me. I got my dream job. I was blessed with a wonderful boss and a super nice big boss. Most of my colleagues were at least two decades older than me, and I learned a lot very quickly. I loved my job. I loved the Qantas culture. I was working my way to eventually move to Australia with my job.

Then, life happened.

Time to let go of my childhood dream...fondly. 1

2019-11-30T05:31:00.002-06:00

When I was in elementary school, I decided, someday I would move to Australia.

I wanted to explore the world. I wanted to go to many different places. Why Australia grabbed me the most among all? I don't really know. A sense of adventure, maybe? I went through books at the libraries and bookstores trying to learn whatever I could find about other countries. There was not much available about Australia back when I was growing up in a small town in southern Japan. Australia seemed so distant, kind of unknown, and definitely different from the life I knew.

Another thing is that I suffered severe frostbite every winter. I remember thinking if I lived half a year in Japan and another half in Australia, I could avoid winter.

Then I read Maugham’s The Moon and Sixpence. A tropical island in the southern Pacific somehow mixed with Australia’s exotic animals and plants, beautiful beaches, and expanse of red dirt. Funny how a child’s mind worked. The excitement I felt from the book sealed my desire to go to Australia. (The story is actually a tragedy. I did not get that until I re-read it many years later.)

In middle school, we started to learn English. I went to bookstores and found guidebooks for making foreign pen-pals. I found several pen pals and started writing: a girl in Brisbane, a girl in Quebec (whom I'm still in touch with), a boy from Copenhagen, Bhutan, Milwaukee...etc.

Michelle, the girl in Brisbane, often sent me cutouts from magazines and talked about pop singers she loved. She made and sent me a few cassette tapes filled with her favorite pop songs. (One of them was ABBA's Dancing Queen. I didn't know they were Swedish until several years later.)

I moved to a bigger city to attend a girl's high school, and lived in an on-campus dorm supervised by
Catholic nuns. I was expected to move on to it’s Jr. college, work a few years and marry.

Halfway through HS, I suddenly decided I wanted to go to a four-year university. I respected my parents. I also knew my decision would not fly with them. Apart from that, my HS was not equipped to help students prepare for rigorous college entrance exams.

I started to study for the national exam like mad relying on guidebooks and radio programs. I was able to convince my teachers to let me switch my class/curriculum middle of the school year. My new homeroom teacher helped me persuade my parents to let me sit for the exam. They finally agreed with conditions. I could only apply for a national university; have to stay in Kagoshima; no 2nd or 3rd options allowed (if I fail to get in, I had to get a job - Jr. college option was gone.) Basically, I had to pass the exam to get into Kagoshima University. There were no other options. I got in. I was the only one from my HS.

"The Topic of Truth" podcast

2019-11-09T00:15:00.001-06:00

When I hear someone articulate what I have known deep down for a long time - yet I have not able to state it clearly even in my mind, let alone explain it to others - I feel awed.

I feel like...all of a sudden, the fog cleared. I can see my surroundings. I can see far out, and realize the direction I was heading was right. With a sigh of relief, I start walking with more conviction...

I come across those moments the most frequently while listening to Jordan B Peterson in his podcasts. Maybe because he has been thinking about the meaning of life, the truth, deeply and intently for a long time. And then, he can (at least he tries really hard to) articulate it with great details in many different ways.

I have been a curious person since childhood. I explored, stumbled along and kept going. Ultimately, I was, and still is, seeking the truth. With life experiences, my senses are getting better in feeling the truth. But, understanding why I feel the way I feel has been rather foggy. By listening to JBP's podcasts, I am getting those whys.

S2 E32: The Topic of Truth
https://www.jordanbpeterson.com/podcast/s2-e32-the-topic-of-truth/

Some of the recent podcasts, the recordings from when he talked during the fall of 2018, speak to me even more clearly than others.

S2 E28: Responsibility is the Key to Meaning
https://www.jordanbpeterson.com/podcast/responsibility-is-the-key-to-meaning/

S2 E25: Be precise in your speech
https://www.jordanbpeterson.com/podcast/s2-e25-be-precise-in-your-speech/

And, more.

Trip to Japan to reconnect my families and friends

2019-10-19T01:08:00.000-05:00

I took a trip back to Japan to reconnect with my family. The family I thought I had lost when I had decided to marry my ex ... over thirty years ago.

Just like I've been finding myself back, I feel I have found my Japanese families back. I felt humbled though; I did not expect them to be so welcoming. I was able to spend time with all of my brothers I love, their wives, and their children (except my oldest's.) My favorite cousin and her sisters came to meet up, and that was fun. I have no sister, so my sisters-in-law and cousins mean a lot to me.

Kaimon-Dake, Satsuma Fuji, was as beautiful as it used to be. Sakura-Jima was looking perfect when I went up to Shiroyama while waiting for my HS friend to arrive from Tokyo. I felt grounded looking at these mountains. They remind me of my roots.

And the friends I cherish...

Thank you Chaki-chan for meeting up with me at KanKu Airport while taking care of emergency issues!!! Sorry that I missed you on the way out on the 15th!

Akko-san, a friend from HS and ever since. She has been there for me all these hard years. I can never thank her enough. I still have a lot to learn from her.

Hanamure, my HS buddy. One day, we went to see "Close Encounters of the Third Kind". We were up on the dorm roof that night and were sending hand signals to the aliens. We were those kinds of girls. Ha!

Masako-san, a neighbor during my Kichijo-Ji era, and a friend since. She is super compassionate like no other! She is also a professional level cook. I have no idea how she can whip these feasts up in less than ten minutes.

And the cherished friend I don't have a photo with. I truly enjoyed the time together.

Last but not least, thank you Meriam, sending welcome back flowers. I felt welcomed into my own home in Plano. That was priceless.

I felt alone for a long time - just me and my three children. Now, I feel I have ten thousand people stand behind me and another thousand beside me.

"Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible Helping"

2019-09-14T11:38:00.000-05:00

Early last year, when I was frantically trying to find my way out of the abyss I was in, I came across Jordan B Peterson’s podcasts. I was skeptical. But, I did not hear my inner BS buzzer go off that often while listening to him talk. Decided to give it a cautious try, I kept listening, knowing I can stop immediately when I feel being manipulated.

Since then, I have listened to all of his podcasts, watched some of his lectures on Youtube and read/listened to his books. Later part of the last year, I worked on Self Authoring Program. My Christmas presents to three children last year were the accesses to their own Self Authoring Program. By the way, I spent merely $50 in total for all of that. I don’t agree with everything he says, but I have relearned a lot.

Among all the things he talks about - specifically among the rules he explains - I feel I need to understand this one the most. He does not talk about this rule often. Maybe because the majority of his audiences are young men (I am not), and other topics are more compelling for them than this one.

Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible Helping
- link to his talk about the topic in Edmonton, Canada

Anyway, this is the most important one for me at this time. (The other one I am working on is Be precise in your speech.) After 30 years of abusive marriage and barely coming out alive, I need to relearn why I should care and value myself.

I’ve been practicing this for almost a year. I have been regaining who I am. I feel much stronger. I will continue practicing to stay strong.

By the way, I have been stressing the importance of getting the information from the source as much as possible. For Jordan Peterson, that is crucial. There is so much noise on the internet about him interpreted and created by others. I would not waste my time/energy to that. His own podcasts and lectures on Youtube are readily available on the internet and are free to access.

Diaper dilemma

2019-08-17T23:00:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite podcasts is “Energy Gang”. (I also love its sibling podcast “Interchange”.) I’ve learned a lot over the years by listening to these smart people talk about green/clean energy.

They are down to earth and fun to listen to, but because they are super-duper knowledgeable (and not to mention they are prominent figures), I haven’t thought I share similar experiences...until yesterday.

The host, Stephen Lacey, recently became a father. He talked about the dilemma of choosing between cloth diapers and disposable ones. He ended up choosing disposables and asked his co-hosts, Jigar Shah and Katherine Hamilton, about their thoughts and experiences.

Jigar became a father a few years ago (I think) and Katherine is a mother of four. They both went through the same dilemma and decided to stick to disposable. Katherine used the cloth ones for her first baby (now 29) and gave up because the urine smell filled up and seeped through the entire house.

When my oldest (also now 29) was born, I tried the cloth diaper route first. I could not bear the thought of sending mounds and mounds of soiled diapers to landfills. We were in a two-bedroom apartment near the edge of Brentwood off West LA in Southern California. We had a washer and a dryer in the unit, but very quickly, I realized I could not do laundry for those diapers, and switched to cloth diaper delivery service.

However...each time I received a bagful of super white diapers in exchange for smelly and yellowed ones, I wondered if that was the right choice. What and how much chemical they use to make them so white? How much hot water or steam they use?

One day, a call came while I was nursing my baby. It was from my friend in Australia to congratulate for the birth of my first baby. I was happily talking with her until my baby started to poo. It ran over my lap then onto the carpet while I was tied to the lined phone. (There were only landlines back then.) Next day I went out and bought a pack of disposable diapers with side guards and never looked back. I remember reading somewhere that both types of diapers are equally bad to the environment and felt somewhat justified.

So, hearing those three clean energy experts chose disposables made me smile. Jigar and Katherine also talked about raising less materialistic children who are responsible and care. They used hand-me-downs, got stuff from garage sales, frequented to library, let the children play outside...etc. I did all of those as well.

Well, even though I feel I am falling short every day, maybe I did alright. At least how I raised my children were not too far from those people who are leading the green/clean energy revolution.

https://www.greentechmedia.com/podcast/the-energy-gang#gs.wei6r8

https://www.greentechmedia.com/podcast/the-interchange#gs.x21zgh

Collin Creek Mall will be reborn into a Mixed-Use Community

2019-08-03T15:05:00.001-05:00

Collin Creek Mall is officially closed and getting ready for an exciting redevelopment (w/ $1B price tag). As I walked through the vast parking lot toward the celebration event, I overheard a lady saying the other, "I feel so sentimental..." Maybe she spent many of her teen days in this mall. As I spent little time there, other than occasional back-to-school cloth shopping for kids while they were in grade school, I don't share that sentiment.

I am actually pretty happy that this huge super underused property (=wasted space) will be reborn into a walkable, mixed-use, and vibrant community that offers a place to live, work and enjoy for many. I'd bet many shares my sentiment. After seeing resident groups fought fiercely against multiple development initiatives in recent years, it's refreshing to see both the city of Plano and residents are FOR this project. It being near my home base adds more excitement. Along I-75 is getting more and more interesting :)

New pup in my life!

2019-07-19T20:17:00.000-05:00

We know nothing about Pia's history other than she was found at a parking lot somewhere all matted and flea-ridden. Luckily, she was comfortable with me from the get-go. No drama.

So far she has learned not to jump onto my bed and my leather couch. (It took a week!) She also learned how to fetch a ball. (She had no idea how to play with a tennis ball. I was like, what?) She was already house-trained, so at least I don't need to worry about that.

I am now teaching her not to gobble up all her foods in five seconds. Once that's done, I will try to teach her not to jump on people without getting permission first. We will see how that goes. One at a time...

Thank you, father!

2019-06-16T00:28:00.001-05:00

My beloved father, in his mid 30’s. The man of integrity, who named me a child of integrity.

Thank you for raising me well and for loving me so.

I have missed you last twenty-five, but knowing you loved me, and the sense of responsibility to raise my children well (like you did for us) sustained me last thirty. Thank you.

I am proud to be your daughter.