♥,

#331

2012-02-14T01:08:00.000+08:00

Thinking back, just a month and a half, I almost had it all.

All, came crashing down on me b'cause of the mistake I made. I will never be able to forgive myself for that.

I will find my happy ending, right? I don't know anymore. It seemed like the best has come and gone.

But, till then, I will have to keep my head held high, and believe in good things. Good things will come when one is not looking for happiness or love.

Happy V-day all!

#330

2012-02-12T23:26:00.000+08:00

Now and then I think of when we were together, like when you said you felt so happy you could die.

; told myself that you were right for me.

But you didn't have to cut me off,
make out like it never happened and that we were nothing,
&I don't even need your love

But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough,
now you're just somebody that I used to know

#329

2012-02-12T23:20:00.001+08:00

Where did I go wrong? Why do I always have people who use me? &the worst part is feeling like that from your very own best friend. I don't know if its unintentional, but it hurts. I don't wanna believe it, but things got worse when A &I "ended" &even if you don't admit it, things are changing. &its not because X is in town, or whatever else. Its, ever since that, things started changing. Yes, I may be too sensitive about all this, but put yourself in my shoes and you will see it. You only call when you need a ride when you're sneaking out if there is no one else available, or you need to talk to somebody about something, something that you can't tell anyone else, cause it involves them. The last straw was yesterday. You just take people for granted, take me for granted. I can actually understand why your bf gets angry at you for making people wait, cause I finally understood what he was so angry about. Frankly speaking, I'm tired. I'm tired of always being there for you, whenever you need me. The fact that you try not bring up him says a lot. All you do is just try to not "hurt" my feelings. So really, i don't tell you much. I just pretend I'm alright w everything. I don't know who you are anymore. But recently, I feel, you've been just one heck of a selfish friend. You only call when you need something, if not, other than that, you rarely call.

What hurts also is that you, you can even take me for granted. You, ignore me for the most part after what I said to you while I was in Vietnam &when something happened to you, &you couldn't get any answers from anyone else, you come to me &talk. You had a motive. I didn't see it then. But its all clear now. You had a motive that night when you sparked up a conversation, after one whole month of silence. All I asked was just if I called you yesterday night, &that you couldn't even reply. Says a lot about you.

Sigh.

#328

2011-12-18T20:53:00.002+08:00

Decided to remove everything.

I can't be any happier than I am right now. Although it's still in the early stages, very early, but I feel like, this is something good. I don't know how it is going to play out, but I'm just gonna wait, and stay and see what God has planned for me.

It's true, when they say, good things take time.You don't go searching for love, it comes to you.

#327

2011-11-16T13:03:00.001+08:00

Lack of sleep, sick to the core.

I can't eat properly, can't speak properly without having sore throat pain and wanting to cough till I die. Fml. How to go for Accounts Mid Sem Paper? I really want this to be over. Cannot concentrate properly. &the weather is not doing any good.

#326

2011-11-15T00:30:00.001+08:00

"In another life, I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises,
I'd make you stay,
so I don't have to say you were the one that got away.

I should have told you what you meant to me.
Cause now I pay the price"

Every word.

x

#325

2011-11-11T23:31:00.001+08:00

I wish for you, you, and only you.

11.11pm, 11/11/2011

#324

2011-11-11T15:25:00.001+08:00

I like to be alone, but I hate the feeling of being lonely.

When you’re alone, you have time for yourself. Your thoughts finally catch up to you. You set your mind on things and everything is just clearer. Nothing’s bothering you and everything just feels right for once.

When you feel lonely, you feel as if no one’s there for you. It feels like no one understands you or is willing to listen. It feels like you’re screaming in a crowded room, but yet not one person looks up.

#323

2011-10-26T20:00:00.001+08:00

It's been long since I've felt anything real.

x

#322

2011-10-19T21:50:00.002+08:00

Is it even possible to feel all this at the same time? Because, it is exactly how I feel right now. Exactly. Spot on.

#321

2011-10-19T20:31:00.000+08:00

&I never knew until that moment what it was like to lose something I never really had in the first place.

#320

2011-10-13T01:07:00.002+08:00

It still haunts me to this day. I don't think I will ever forget about it. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself. The one regret I can never get it back. The one thing that cannot be undone.

&part of why I can't forget you is because I still remember to this date, you had me go through this alone. &no one should go through that alone. No one.

x

#319

2011-10-12T01:11:00.000+08:00

If you don't love him, he'll try to win you over. When you do love him, he leaves.

The memories; keeps coming back to haunt me. I didn't realize you'd mean this much to me. Never, when I first met you, never had I thought you'd be someone who means this much &also could make me feel this way. You were the first person ever to have me feel this way, &up till now, I still have not figure out a way to get out of this hell hole. Every time I think I'm okay, I'm fine, images from the past comes back, &then I find myself walking down memory lane, alone. I would smile at first, at what we had, until I reached our "backslide" which, I wished never happened, cause then every thing would be better now, every thing would be easier; for me.

I can't keep coming back to this. I can't keep putting my life on hold like this. It's eating me up slowly. I'm trying to find a way to escape from this. But it just feels so wrong without you. Even after all this mess, I still find myself wanting you. Pathetic as it sounds..

#318

2011-10-10T02:30:00.001+08:00

Westlife; childhood memory (:

So yes, I went for Westlife's Gravity Tour 2011 with college mates. Can't believe its been 10 years since I last saw them live. They were good, still.

&in another week, I will officially start my "uni" life. I don't think there'd be much difference with A Levels except maybe a more hectic timetable, and friends, of course. I actually don't feel excited of starting uni just yet. I just hope it'll be a good month. It only the 10th day of October, but I can't wait for the 22nd already. Working at David Foster's concert :D

&I think this is getting lame. Pointless.

#317

2011-09-22T02:45:00.001+08:00

Tonight. I miss you more. I miss you so bad.

x

#316

2011-09-17T03:53:00.000+08:00

Good day, good night (: Just what I needed after so long. I miss this bunch! &xiao ying, good luck in Warwick. Will see you when you come back. xx

PS/ I still haven't forgotten about you...

#315

2011-09-14T23:58:00.002+08:00

Things are beginning to look better. Even then, this month is the month of goodbyes. I think I've lost count of how many people I've said goodbye and good luck to. It makes everything feel more surreal.

I hate goodbyes. Always have, always will.

But, its the cycle of life.

&again, I miss you. Still.

#314

2011-09-13T23:21:00.000+08:00

I'm tired. I'm sleepy. &I'm pissed off cause I can't get my sleep. Why do people just love disturbing at all the wrong times? So angry D:

&I miss you too. That sucks.

Kbai.

#313

2011-09-12T19:01:00.000+08:00

It doesn't get any easier. I just get more and more used to it. More and more used to missing you.

Sigh.

#312

2011-09-11T21:24:00.001+08:00

This has got to be the cutest video I've ever seen. They kids sure do know more about love than anyone else :')

#311

2011-09-11T12:24:00.002+08:00

"You only know what I want you to know"

#310

2011-09-10T23:34:00.000+08:00

New found love; Cameron Mitchell.

I can listen to him all day long.

#309

2011-09-10T13:28:00.002+08:00

#308

2011-09-10T10:05:00.001+08:00

So this is it. The end of the end. We've gone through this countless of times. We've played our games, and I continue to lose. You're always the winner and I'll never stand the chance....I love you and now I've to say my goodbye.

I'm ready to lose you, ready to let you go now, both, once and for all.
There will be nothing left hanging over my head.
Nothing left that is yours anymore.
There will be nothing left that can somehow connect me to you.
All that is left is history that will never be spoken off again.

So this is my goodbye.

x

#307

2011-09-09T22:31:00.002+08:00

Finally. Finally let go off what I kept inside me for so long. Sigh. Why didn't I cleaned up the mess earlier. Now I'm contemplating of what to do. I've made a bigger mess out of this mess. And I don't know what to do now.

Why the fuck didn't I just clear it up in the first place. Why wait now? Why wait until now, but still have not decided on what to do. What the fuck am I putting myself into.