Only Yesterday

RANDOM MUSINGS: A FLY ON THE WALL

2026-05-30T19:28:55.987+08:00

It was a sunny afternoon, I was bored out of my mind, and the air from the electric fan was prickling my skin. I was sitting on a chair too low for me to shift my weight comfortably. We were just waiting for the time to pass so that we could clock out.

However, it was only one o'clock in the afternoon, so there was still plenty of time to kill. Usually, whenever there was a lull at work, I would pull out my ipad and watch movies. But at that time, there was no internet connection, which was a total buzzkill.

While I accepted the fact that I can't use my ipad, I was keen on opening my kindle to read, but unfortunately, I forgot to put it in my bag. Resigned to the fact that I can't do something worthwhile to kill time, I finally decided to just open my phone.

Moments later, I found myself doomscrolling through my socials when I came across a name - a name I used to know from forever ago. She made a comment about something, and looking at her name transported me back to a time when life felt a little easier, when our problems seemed a little bit silly compared to what we have now.

The thing that made me open up my blog again and write about this is that I don’t have someone to tell this to. I also don’t want to be a creep, someone who’s too nostalgic for her own good.

It was a hazy day, but I don't remember what time it was or what day of the week it was. All I saw was a girl sitting in a room, all disheveled, hair all over the place, a uniform that hadn't been ironed for God knows how long, dirty nails, and she smelled a bit weird, too. I don't remember her having friends she hung out with - though I could be wrong because I was too preoccupied with my life then, too. At this point, this only exists in my memory.

She's a nice girl, though I can hardly claim to know her. I'm just someone who happened to notice her - a fly on the wall in that particular moment in time. Yet there's one memory of her that has stayed with me all these years. She was crying. Around her, the other girls whispered and gossiped. As I remember it, she had been accused of something she didn't do, though time has blurred the details. I don't even know if the matter was ever resolved.

High school was strange like that. Everyone had to navigate a certain social hierarchy, and I was a willing participant, though more as a background character than anything else.

I'm generally careful about looking at people's profiles online, but curiosity got the better of me, so I clicked her name. And what do you know? She's doing really well for herself. She doesn't look like the person I remember from high school at all. Not because she's become someone different, but because she seems to have grown into herself. She bloomed into someone I think her younger self would be proud of.

And I found myself genuinely happy for her. What's funny is that all of this exists entirely on my side of the story. It's a single frame from someone else's life, pulled from memory, placed under a magnifying glass, and examined years later. For her, it may have been a painful day she eventually forgot, but for me, it became something worth writing about.

The image of her sitting on a chair, crying, is burned into my memory, frozen in time, but in reality, time did not stop there. It kept unfolding; days became weeks, weeks became months, and months became years. And somewhere along the way, she kept growing. She kept becoming. While I remembered a single frame, her life kept moving beyond it.

Of course, she has no idea I carry this memory of her. I doubt she ever will. After all, these are only my random musings on a very boring afternoon with no internet or a book, nothing to entertain me but this little memory I have of her, triggered by peeking through her profile.

Knowing what I know now, it made me realize that nothing is really set in stone. What you are now does not always define your future because none of us is a finished story.

BACK AT IT AGAIN (FOR HOW LONG? IDK)

2025-04-19T13:03:00.001+08:00

I suddenly have the urge to open my blogger account and write about what's going on with my life lately. It's been a long time since I posted here and I even thought that I would never go back but here I am. Life has been fine- busy but fine. I long for the days when I worry about nothing. I miss my old carefree and laid-back life. Though there are still remnants of my past self, I can't help but mourn for the life I used to have, now that I scarcely have the time to do the things I like.

If you're reading this now, I bet you would've said that I could've managed my time better, but it's not that easy for me. This may sound like an excuse, but I'm never really good at managing my time even before- I always struggle. Mind you, this is not a cry for help but just me being honest with what I feel. Actually, I don't know what I'm saying (lol) because I intended this to be a review of some sort about the books, movies, and anime series that I watched ever since my vacation kicked off. I don't really know what I'm doing but I can't help it, words just flowed through me as I'm typing my heart out.

It must have been because I actually miss writing—writing about myself, that is. This blog used to be my creative outlet from anime to fashion until it became a chore. The last time I wrote a proper a blog post about fashion was 5 years ago and the rest of the succeeding years up until the year 2022 were all about adverts- then I totally left my blog.

While I'm away, I was busy- really busy, but it's the kind of busy where I can still slack off and procrastinate, so I'm totally fine with it. But because I'm so busy and the worst when it comes to managing my time effectively, things were sacrificed. Watching anime became a chore and I no longer have the appetite to read anymore. The little time I had, I spent it doom-scrolling, be it on TikTok or Facebook. Though I watch anime from time to time, I can barely even finish a single episode without getting bored. So what did I do during those times? Well, I let myself rot, only functioning when I have to go about my day like a zombie.

Even though I don't read as much anymore, I never stopped buying books; I still take a quick peek at my bookstagram from time to time. Feeling dull and uninspired, little by little, I started reading again but it was not easy. Words just slip through my mind and I have to grapple and piece them together- it's like learning to walk after being whellchaired for years. To tell you honestly, the book that got me out of the reading slump was a children's book which I got at an online store on a whim. Fantastic Mr. Fox by Roald Dahl was an incredible pick-me-upper, then I proceeded to read another 14 books until I'm out of commission again.

Just this year though, I managed to finish Circe and I'm so proud of myself. It took me almost a month to finish Circe but I'm glad I pushed through. Currently, I'm reading The Quake by Haruki Murakami and it's so good. It's actually the reason why HM is one of my favorite writers alive. Aside from that, I finished watching quite a lot of anime eversince my sister sold me her ipad, it's now very easy and accesible. Whenever I have a lull time at work, I just whip it and watch. I will go deep dive on my next post about it.

You know, I could've totally abandoned this blog since it's no longer a thing anymore. I could've just written this on my Instagram but it's too long of a caption; I could've make an essay video and post it on Tiktok, but I'm not comfortable doing it; or I could've just post this on Medium but I offer no answer- save it to the people who actually has something to say. So here I am, in my old dusty blog- rediscovering the things that give me purpose of this little life of mine.

It feels good to do these things again without feeling taxed. How I wish I could do this every day without that sinking dread in the back of my mind. It must be great. I guess this is what reading can do to you- and hey, that's a 700+ words! Way to go!

Bye for now.

Shapellx | Plus size Shapewear Haven

2022-06-12T03:24:00.005+08:00

Recently, I started doing Zumba again after months of procrastinating and eating unhealthily. I have been under a lot of stress about the things I can't control. Funny how I know usually know what to do most times to get me out of my misery but for some reason, I just can't bring myself to do anything at all. Until I felt so disgusted with myself because it seems to me that there was no progress at all and I'm just wasting away. It doesn't help that I am always conscious of my body and most of the clothes I own don't fit me anymore, especially in my stomach area.

Romy Tisa Bags

2022-06-11T03:25:00.001+08:00

Hello lovely people! It just occurs to me that I rarely share about bags. Since we are slowly transitioning to back to how it was 2 years ago, a lot of people are out and about looking their best, be it in the café catching up with friends or doing grocery shopping. Of course, you can't complete your whole look without a bag. It's one of the essential part whole outfit because that's where you can keep your valuables all the while looking fashionable. I don't know about you but I am someone who can't leave the house without a bag and it must go with my whole outfit and vibe. Are you that kind of person too?

Introducing: Shapellx

2021-12-01T19:22:00.002+08:00

Hello lovely reader/s! How are you all doing? It has been a while since I updated my blog here. I guess I was caught up with the busyness that is life. A lot has happened but going back here and doing the things I usually do to kill some time makes me happy. I don't know why it took me so long to get back here.

Enough about me. Today, I have something very special to share to all of you especially to those women who are into fitness, eating healthy, and overall looking good. I'm no stranger when it comes to waist-trainers because I love how it accentuate my silhouette especially when I'm wearing a bodycon dress. It helps me smoothen away my love handles and makes my tummy flat. You see, I love to eat and I love food, and there are times that I can't control myself and I end up with bloated stomach,

Milanoo | Gladiator Sandals and Monokinis

2021-07-02T14:36:00.002+08:00

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Hello lovely reader/s! How are you all today? I hope that you are doing well and also you are achieving your goals and dreams one step at a time. Recently, I got into thinking about buying new shoes again despite the fact of me being a practicing minimalist. Some of my old trusted shoes and slippers are all worn out and I think I would really need a pair or two because I am constantly on the go be it for my business or work errands.

All About Wedding Suits and Prom Suits

2021-06-29T19:44:00.002+08:00

photo source

It is not always that I get to share something about men's wear especially suits since my blog is mainly about women's fashion. Although I talked about Allaboutsuit in my previous blog post before, that does not mean we'll stop there, right? Especially if they have so much more to offer.

IT Certification at SPOTO

2021-06-29T15:35:00.002+08:00

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Being at home most of the time can be beneficial to us all if we know how to make the most of it. There might be some people who would roll their eyes because here I go again being weird about it. As an introvert who rarely enjoys being surrounded by people most of the time; finding myself getting lost in my own company while doing the things I love is something I relish and prioritized above all else. Actually, I am quite good at amusing myself with things that other people might deem as boring.

Tumblemats

2021-06-29T01:59:00.003+08:00

Hello lovely people! How are you all? It has been a while since I visited my space here. Funny enough, nothing really changed about how my usual day goes but looking back, everything seems different. While we are still embracing the new normal, most of the people I know who decided to engage in different activities at home began to lose interest. They have forgotten the core reason why they even started aside from boredom.

Introducing Up2Step

2021-01-26T04:03:00.002+08:00

photo here

Have you ever heard the phrase: Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world? It is famously attributed to Marilyn Monroe whom we all love. As someone with a disability that prevents me to wear high heels- I can only dream. Recently though, I started wearing wedges after almost a decade of living my life with my flat shoes and sneakers. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining at all because they're very comfortable. However, there are times that I do wish I can be like everyone else (cliche I know) especially when the occasion and my outfit calls for it.

Where to find the best wholesale sweatsuits

2021-01-21T01:42:00.003+08:00

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I don't know about you, but I am the type of person who likes to get the best deals when it comes to shopping. Whenever there is something I want, I make sure that there will be something worthwhile aside from spending my money on that cute dress. Honestly, cute and pretty stuff usually gets the best of me. That is the reason why knowing the right website that fits your need is very essential. It is a good thing that there is feelingirldress official brand promotion that we can help ourselves into.

It's all about suits!

2021-01-13T02:22:00.002+08:00

Hello lovely reader/s! How are you? I know I have been going on and on about wedding dresses without even talking about suits. Well, today is a different day because I just found a site that specializes in that.

Affordable Casual Country Style Bridesmaid Dresses and Bridal Separates 2021

2021-01-10T02:23:00.008+08:00

Photo here

Hello lovely readers! How are you all? It has been quite a while since I posted here in my space. I have been busy renovating my room, working, and of course, helping my sister with her business. There are so many things that I want to achieve this year that I haven't had the chance of doing last year. Although 2020 was a tough year, I'm still thankful that I finally started doing the things I thought I wouldn't want to do. Slowly but surely, I'm finally getting there.

Top 5 A-line Bridesmaid Dresses from Alfabridal

2020-11-15T00:07:00.000+08:00

Photo by Timothée Pons

When it comes to shopping for clothes, we always have our favorite store and it makes things very easy and convenient for all the business we have to face every day. Imagine how stressful and time waster it would be to go on a day or maybe days just to find the perfect dresses for your bridesmaids. They may be the bride's entourage, but they are important because they are the ones who will assist the bride during her big day.

Top 5 Red Bridesmaid Dresses from Alfabridal

2020-11-11T17:33:00.000+08:00

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Just recently, quite a lot of my friends on Facebook have gotten married and I can't help but look at the bride's dress and of course, her bridesmaids dresses too. I don't know if it just me but I enjoy looking at pretty dresses in a very important event in a woman's life. One in particular that stood up for me is the kind that can be worn in a casual setting without seeming too formal for the event, and at the same time very eye-catching gorgeous. Just as I was browsing the net for some inspiration, I came across a site called www.alfabridal.com and I instantly fell in love with their pretty dresses.

Be at your best while on the go with Feelingirl

2020-10-31T00:19:00.002+08:00

photo not mine

Top 5 Cozy & Funny Onesie Pajamas for Adults from Alfagoody

2020-10-29T16:13:00.001+08:00

Hello lovely people who are reading this! Last time, I made a post about my top 5 pajamas for kids, today, I am sharing with all of you my other top 5 but for adults. As someone who works at home for about two years now, it is very crucial for me to be in my most comfortable clothes in a comfy and peaceful workspace. It took me quite a while to find the routine that works best for me. Along comes many setbacks though because, for some reason, I just can't stick to one routine. Thankfully, I can always try again because I think it is all about trial and error. These days, I am all about wearing cozy pajama and loungewear.

Here are my top 5 picks for cozy and funny onesie pajamas for adults:

Fox Cartoon Fleece Adult Onesie

First on my list is this fox onesie because I just love the color yellow!

Feelingirldress: Trendy Dresses

2020-07-26T20:46:00.005+08:00

Hello lovely people! How are you guys doing? It's been quite a long time since I made a post about cheap trendy women's clothing recommendations. I miss doing it especially now that there are a lot of online stores that cater to our needs. I always believe that we don't have to spend a lot just to look good because there is always an alternative, and sometimes, they can exceed our expectations too.

Quarantine Summer

2020-05-29T16:20:00.002+08:00

Hello to you who are reading this post. If you have been reading my blog for quite a while now, you know how I always wanted to get into photography; I even listed it as something that I would like to learn many years ago, but that never seemed to have been fully realized until quarantine happened. So I ask my cousin Belle to be my model so I can practice and polish my rough edges, but I still have a long way to go.

Girlmerry | The Flower We Saw That Day

2020-05-22T16:12:00.002+08:00

Hello lovely people! How are you who are reading this post?
As you can see from the title of this post, it is in reference to one of my favorite anime series: ANOHANA: The Flower We Saw That Day. I watched it back in college as it was recommended to me by my best friend. It became one of the best tear-jerker anime on my list up to this day, and whenever I rewatch some clips, it never fails to make me cry because they found Menma! One of the reasons why it has a special place in my heart is the fact that it mirrors the life of every childhood friends who drifted apart after a few changes in life. It can't be helped though, because that's how life usually goes. I'm just grateful that even though I am not the most friendly person in the world, I still have a few close friends I can always call wherever I'm at in life.

Hairgets | Affordable Human Hair Wigs

2020-05-21T09:21:00.000+08:00

Hello lovely readers! How are you all? Staying at home is the new normal and although it may be bothersome for the few, let's not all forget that there are heroes out there who are risking their lives to save other people. As for me, it doesn't really bother me that much because I am used to being at home all the time since I work from home. Although I would be lying if I would say I don't miss being outside doing things that render me stress-free because sometimes when you are cooped up inside your room for a period of time, it can't be helped but feel irritated over small stuff.

Femme Luxe | Homebody

2020-05-14T06:18:00.001+08:00

Hello gorgeous! This is the last item from my Femme Luxe haul. The last one I got is this Khaki Crop Loungewear Set - Deanna and it's also one of my favorites even though I am not a big fan when it comes to crop tops. You see, I am always down when talking about wearing comfortable clothes that can also be worn when running errands. This particular loungewear set is perfect if you don't want to look overly made up when going out. Finish this off with some cool, chunky trainers then you're good to go!

FEMME LUXE | Don't Mesh With Me

2020-05-11T19:10:00.000+08:00

Happy Monday to you who are reading this! I am here again to share one of my Femme Luxe hauls. I have to say that this Nude Mesh Ruffle Off The Shoulder Top - Aydn is my favorite and I am in love with how cute this is. Now that summer has come, it means it's high time to wear fashionable airy clothes all the while looking chic. The ruffles and the off-shoulder sleeves make this top look romantic. Mesh tops are fun to wear especially if you like to show a little skin without feeling too bare. So if you are not a fan of overexposing yourself, but want to ramp up your everyday look - then mesh tops might be perfect for you.

Femme Luxe | Whimsy LBD

2020-05-07T23:11:00.000+08:00

Hello lovelies! This is my 2nd post featuring Femme Luxe clothes. While writing this post, I am jamming to Red Velvet's "Psycho" which is my favorite song from them. And this particular Black Glitter Mesh Bardot Long Sleeve Mini Dress - Olivia reminds me a lot of Seulgi's. When I was scrolling through their online store, this immediately caught my attention and I knew I just have to get it since I don't have a lot of Little Black Dress in my closet.

Femme Luxe | Feel Special

2020-05-06T17:57:00.000+08:00

Hello lovely people who are reading this post! It's been years since I made an outfit post. Truth be told, I have been trying to shed off some unwanted pounds here and there to hopefully fit into clothes that I want to post; I was even well into achieving my goal weight when ECQ (enhanced community quarantine) happened. Being barred from going out means that I have no access to food supplies essential for my keto diet. I'm not complaining though, because it's important to follow rules for the betterment of the whole.