Eat Play Love

Are you an asset or liability in a relationship ?

2010-10-04T07:17:00.000-07:00

It sounds superficial, but in a way, it is a method to ensure a secure relationship and to ensure a secure family in the long run.

Just imagine, if you hold a party, and your guest come empty handed - they have your food, your wine, your place - and after the party, they just leave. For how long can you sustain it ? In terms of money, psychological support, help and care, no matter in what format, we ought to provide something for each other, and at the same time, be independent.

Love and support should to be reciprocal, as we need to grow together, to stay forever.

~ Toni

I do

2010-09-16T07:45:00.000-07:00

His hello was the end of her endings
Her laugh was their first step down the aisle
His hand would be hers to hold forever
His forever was as simple as her smile
He said she was what was missing
She said instantly she knew
She was a question to be answered
And his answer was "I do"

courtesy from SATC

~ Cora

Reality check

2010-09-03T06:54:00.000-07:00

Reality is what we made of.

things change, people change,

our outlook changes, our career path changes.

the only thing that's real is who you are to you, your family, and your genuine friends.

it's an art to differentiate a Totem from fantasy.

you are one of my Totems.

~Toni

Love Is (part iii)

2010-08-31T21:44:00.000-07:00

Love and acceptance are probably the most fundamental human needs. Especially in my field of work, I have witnessed many people fear dying alone more than they fear death itself. We all want to feel loved. We think about it, hope for it, fantasize about it, go to great lengths to achieve it, and feel that our lives are incomplete without it. It is especially unfortunate, then, that most of us have no idea what unconditional love really is, and we prove our ignorance with our horrifying divorce rate, the incidence of alcohol and drug addiction, and the domestic violence in our community.

Our misconceptions of unconditional love began in childhood, where we saw that when we did all the right things - when we were clean, quiet, obedient and otherwise “good” - people “loved” us. They smiled at us and spoke in gentle tones. But we also saw that when we were “bad,” all those signs of “love” instantly vanished. In short, we were taught by consistent experience that love was conditional, that we had to buy “love” from the people around us with our words and behavior.

So what’s wrong with conditional love? Because we simply can’t feel fulfilled by love we pay for. We can feel loved only when it is freely, unconditionally given to us. Most people spend their entire lives trying to fill their emptiness with conditional love, but all they achieve is an ever-deepening frustration, punctuated by brief moments of superficial satisfaction. The unhappiness in our lives is in part due to the frustration we experience as we desperately and hopelessly try to create happiness from a flawed foundation of conditional love.

There’s only one kind of love that can give us the happiness we all want: unconditional love. Unconditional love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get in return. Of course, I am not advocating that this is the only definition of unconditional love, because we each have our own understanding, and this is only what I believe. When we make foolish mistakes, when we fail to fulfill expectations, and even when we become an obstacle, this is the time when true love can be tested. An individual who unconditionally loves you will not feel disappointed or irritated.

The burning question naturally is: how do we find unconditional love? For that, honestly, I have no answer. I guess for those of us who are lucky, we will find it. And for those of us who are especially fortunate, it will find us. At least once we realize the distinction and rarity of unconditional love from other forms of love, if one day it happens to cross your path, or if it is already part of your journey through life……remember to hold on tight, cherish it, and never let go.

Secondhand

2010-08-25T03:57:00.000-07:00

Some secondhand buyers contacted me recently, asking to buy and they resell my Louboutin heels. I refused.

This is how I am exposed to this second-hand industry.

In Hong Kong, this industry works like this: secondhand buyers give you a sum of money to buy your products, then they resell it; Or they sign a contract with you, keep your product in their stores for a period of time and sell it at a price you desired. You can take it back at anytime.

Sounds alluring, as Hong Kong is a materialistic city. No matter how much we can spend, we all have a closet full of clothes, handbags and shoes. That only means we have to throw away of some of them regularly.

It is desirable, if you can get money back when you try to get rid of it. Actually, this can be a reason we used to justify ourselves in buying luxury products.

However, if you are trying to gain profit by reselling luxury items, it may not be easy. Think about it, why would one wants to buy secondhand products? It is either because one have limited budget, or one truly wants to buy them as collectibles.

People would like to pay a lot for collectibles, but if they are the one who buy secondhand items because of limited budget, they want to pay less.

Unless you are having a limited edition Chanel or Hermes handbags, secondhand-product reseller usually prise your product at 40-60 % of the original price. To gain profit, they can only buy your product at 20-30% of the original price.

So, again, unless you are truly trying to throw away your handbags, your shoes… you no longer need them or love them, or else, you are actually losing money by reselling.

However, if you want to throw it away, why would you pay thousands of dollars for them in the first place? And if you have limited budget, why would you want to buy a luxury product?

This leads to a deeper thought into the value of luxury and shopping psychology.

My conclusions are :

1.     Think twice before buying anything, only buy if you would like to keep it for lifelong and the quality worth your money
2.     Craftsmanship is irreplaceable. The only concrete aspect you can count on when buying.
3.     If you have less to spend, money is the first priority, buy practical items instead. If you have extra money to spend, go for something made of fine craftsmanship, not because of brand names.
4.     What you buy should be an asset instead of debt
5.     If you want to earn from reselling, go for something that people would like to pay even if overpriced. They are usually things that are of limited edition, which are not usually assessable by the general public. That is why I say it is difficult.

~Toni

Finding the right place in Hong Kong

2010-08-20T04:14:00.000-07:00

Hong Kong property has proven itself to be a safe and prosperous investment if you pick the right location and enter the market at the right time. Unlike with stocks or funds, where you can lose everything, property is tangible and at times of financial crisis, you can choose to rent out your property or live in it yourself.

Hong Kong’s economy is built upon the success of real estate, it is not surprising it is the primary business for some of the richest men in town and also the secret to how some employees with regular jobs can become billionaires by making use of the their steady, regular income to purchase property over their career span.

My favourite place to live: Bel-air, Island south

Apart from the Peak, Repulse Bay, and Mid-Levels, Hong Kong Island South is the most sought after location for expats and individuals who value quality of living. Bel-air is situated away from the hassles and pollution of downtown, engulfed by an obstructed seaview but yet, convenient enough to allow access to Central within 15 minutes by taxi.

It is rare to find in Hong Kong, a flat that allows total privacy. In certain sea facing flats at the Bel-air, you can be totally undressed in the comfort of your own home without having to worry about being sued by your neighbours for indecent exposure (just for the sake of illustration). This permanent, unobstructed seaview, and total privacy is well worth the price, making it a hot pick for local celebrities and foreign diplomats.

The club house, of course is grander than most hotels with practically everything that you can possibly imagine in a club house, although personally, I think the facilities are way over priced. If you are someone who likes to return home and feel as though you are on holiday, then Bel-air would be a good consideration.

coming soon....

My favourite place to invest: Kowloon Station

My favourite place to rent out: Grand Promenade

My favourite place to rent: Four Seaons Place

~Jacky

Love Is (part ii)

2010-08-16T04:56:00.000-07:00

Regardless of our culture, our level of education or economic status, we all have the same fundamental desires - to love, to be loved, and to be happy. Of course we could add other desires to this list, like money and expensive things; but when you really evaluate the reason for wanting them, it is so that we can appear more desirable, and will hopefully be loved and accepted.

During the past several days, I felt the love that my friends had for me when I needed it, I witnessed the love that my Christian friends expressed for their savior Jesus Christ during the Easter holiday, and I felt the love that my best friend had for her baby when she was ill. If love is something so fundamentally important to us, then why is it that we have so many issues and misunderstandings in finding it? Among my many daily ponderings, distractions and reflections, I have come up with a simple answer: I think it is because most of us have never been educated in this fundamental area during our development. I certainly didn’t study relationships in my high school curriculum. For most of us, it’s been an adventure in trial and error, and learning through pain and heart-break.

I now turn my attention to a particular kind of love, the quest for finding a romantic partner, a “soul mate”. Many of us have latched onto this concept of finding “the one” person out there for us, and so we linger in every relationship that we have, fearing that we might miss out on “the one”. But I’ve been thinking: there are almost 7 billion people on the planet. With that in mind, it seems to make more sense that “the one” is more likely to be “the one-hundred-thousand.” Perhaps there are a countless number of people who will be great companions, and it is just a matter of finding one of them.

We all have a rough idea of what our perfect partner is like: beautiful, or smart, or rich, or educated, or tall, or funny, with this car or maybe that one. I think the problem comes when we find ourselves constantly comparing our partner (or potential partner) with this conjured-up ‘perfect’ person. When that happens, we stop appreciating all the beautiful qualities that the individuals around us do possess. The truth is, and I have finally realized, that this perfect person does not exist. But more importantly, we may not actually need all of these perfect qualities in a companion to be happy.

I believe that we cannot truly allow others to love us, until we first love ourselves (if you recall, I have written about this at length in my last note, so I won’t dwell on this issue here). But to repeat a truth, loving yourself makes you a more attractive person to the outside world. Before you know it, you will be surrounded by those attracted to you for who you really are.

A recent conversation with a friend raised a very amusing thought on the issue of sex that I must share. Apparently, when you have an orgasm, your body releases the hormone oxytocin that binds you emotionally to the other person. For a man, the effects of this hormone last for 48 hours. For a woman, the effects last for 14 days. This explains why, after having sex with someone who is clearly a bad choice, we can end up in a relationship with them, even if it is only for a short period of time. And these relationships can turn into long-term relationships that ultimately end badly. So my friend (who holds a doctorate in human physiology, so I bullshit you not) recommends not to have sex during your dating process unless you are ready to be emotionally bound to that person for 14 days (if you’re a guy, for only 2 days.…go figure).

So is there any conclusion from my many ponderings? Well this is what I think. First we need to gain clarity on what we really need rather than what we desire in a perfect companion. Then spend time practicing how to love yourself. For all my single friends, be open to the idea of your ideal mate entering your life; I would not actively seek it, instead spend your efforts on self-development. For all my friends who have already found their partner, your journey only begins here.

I am a very rational and logical person, I do not believe in gnomes or leprechauns, but as with all things of the heart, I think there is an ingredient of magic in finding love. There are no coincidences. Everything happens for a reason. Love is beautiful and unpredictable. I don’t want to sound like some relationship guru, but I think the best thing we can do is to start by becoming the most outstanding person possible. And when we are, true love will happen, unexpectedly.

~Peggy

THE One

2010-08-13T01:17:00.001-07:00

Many of us ask when we know when we have found the RIGHT person.

Whilst there are no hard and fast rules, consider the following as a guide.

Characteristics of a life companion:

1. The person should make your stress at work feel silly and irrelevant.

2. Someone whom you wish to hug even on a hot sweaty day.

3. You are willing to wait for this person for 2 hours in the rare occasion and when they do show up, you are just glad that they are safe rather than interrogating their whereabouts, because you trust that they must have a good reason for making you wait.

4. When you actually enjoy spending time with their family.

5. When your heart aches seeing them unable to do/accomplish the things that they want in life.

6. When your heart would stop if they were to leave you for someone else but that you would not stop them if you knew that you would not offer the safe happiness.

7. When you just want to freeze the time spent together.

8. When this person enables you to love yourself more.

9. The first person you want to tell when something unexpected and miraculous happens.

10. The person who comes to mind now after reading the above.

~Jacky

Four Seasons

2010-08-08T17:27:00.000-07:00

It’s a sunny day...

After long day of work and talking to people. I am really exhausted.

Running three blogs is like running a company to me!

I need a getaway to feel, to write, to relax , to think and to clear up my head.

Here I am again, at the Lounge of Four Seasons Hotel and the waiters and waitresses were expecting me.

Another Chocolat Tea please…

~Toni

My Love

2010-08-07T06:27:00.000-07:00

Sia's haunting 'Eclipse' ballad leaves many with the vivid images of the steamy scene between Edward and Bella. It is one of those songs you'd blare as you speed on a dusty road meandering through a vast meadow, with the wind ruffling through your hair, and you're lost in thoughts you forgot how you even got there.

Sia's vocals are painful, heartfelt and intense. I've been tracking her since her 2004 album, 'Colour the Small One', carrying the single 'Breathe Me', which appeared on the series finale of the H.B.O television series 'Six feet Under', and the broadcast of the 2006 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LsDXQYxqYM

My love, leave yourself behind
Beat inside me, leave you blind
My love, you have found peace
You were searching for relief

You give it all, give into the call
You took a chance and
You took the fall for us

You came thoughtfully, loved me faithfully
You taught me honor, you did it for me

Today you will slip away
You will wait for me my love

Now I am strong (Now I am strong)
You gave me all
You gave all you had and now I am whole

My love, leave yourself behind
Beat inside me, leave you blind
My heart, look what you can do
I am mending, I'll be with you

You took my hand added a plan
You gave me your heart
I asked you to dance with me

You loved honestly
Did what you could release
Aaaahhh oooh

I know in peace we'll go
I won't relive this loss

Now I am strong (Now I am strong)
You gave me all
You gave all you had and now I am whole

My love, beat inside me.

My love, leave yourself behind
Beat inside me, I'll be with you
oooooohh ooooh
Du du du ooooooh

~Cora

The Jimmy Choo Story

2010-08-05T01:26:00.000-07:00

I went to a book store looking for business books. I saw this book on the rack. Out of curiosity, I bought it.

It is not a book for fashionista, but a book for entrepreneur and wanna-be-designers. Behind the glamorous name of Jimmy Choo, there lies a sad story about the struggle for power and money.

The story of the Jimmy Choo brand is different from that of Jimmy Choo himself.

It is definitely an eye-opener.

~ Toni

Love Is...

2010-08-05T01:15:00.000-07:00

There are many types of love that we have for the people in our lives: love for a romantic partner, for our family (my poodle is included in this category), for our friends, for humanity in general, and for ourselves.

Recently, I felt that I was losing sight of my priorities, losing my way in this often difficult and complicated world of love. That was, until a dear friend reminded me today of a truth that I had forgotten and often ignored, "before you can love someone else, you have to love yourself, first." After his sobering advice, I spent the rainy afternoon (rain seems to be especially conducive to introspection) reflecting upon his words, and I have some thoughts I would like to share.

Although love for others is extremely important, self-love should - and must - come first. This adage has almost become a cliché. Yet, on some level, many of us feel uncomfortable with this. So many of us, especially women, are caregivers; we tend to put the needs of others before our own needs. We try to please and care for others first, often putting ourselves last.

We believe that to love yourself, or to give to yourself, is "selfish" or "self-centered." My mother was very concerned about preventing her children from becoming conceited. It never occurred to her that she might want to put as much effort into fostering our self-esteem. But I don’t blame my mother: like all of us, she is a product of her generation and culture. She only taught what she had learned, herself. I find it a shame, though, that our culture and traditional Chinese values seem to create so many people who lack self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-love.

When I talk of self-love, I am not advocating that we should stop caring for others, and just focus on ourselves. Being in service and giving back to your community is something I believe is very important. Showing kindness to others and generosity for our loved ones is a key to having a fulfilling life. However, you cannot keep giving to others if you do not give to yourself, first. When you love yourself, you will make it easier for you to give love to others. When you take time to re-energize, you will have more energy both for yourself and to share with the people you love and those in your care.

There are an infinite number of ways for us to love and to care for ourselves. One of the most important ways is to nourish and care for your body: eat healthy foods, exercise regularly, and take care of your health (this is my professional side speaking). Taking breaks are important as well, and this does not necessarily mean extravagant vacations or expenses. Perhaps you enjoy taking time to paint or to write, as I do.

Another way to love yourself is by being in the practice of using positive affirmations. I recall an example from my childhood. I went over to a friend’s house, and I saw several Post-it notes in their kitchen and in the hallway, with short phrases written on them like ”you are bright and beautiful” or “you are confident and strong”. When I asked my friend why her parents had put up all these notes around the house, she told me it was so that her youngest sister would grow up feeling good about herself. Now I realize what wise parents she had.

To this day, despite the fact that my best friend and I live thousands of miles apart, we would exchange notes, cards and emails on a regular basis. We would tell each other how much we love each other, and what wonderful qualities we each possess. Even if, at first, you feel silly or uncomfortable reading or writing these phrases, you may find that you grow into and become these qualities. You may even realize that you embodied them all along; you just had not realized it.

So, go ahead. Love yourself. Be good to yourself. Treat yourself well. Replenish yourself. You will discover that, the more you love yourself, the more you will be able to give love to others - and the more others will want to be around you and give back to you.

~ Peggy

Eat. Play. Love

2010-08-04T20:54:00.001-07:00

Eat iːt/ Verb (past ate /ɛt, eɪt/; past participle eaten /ˈiːt(ə)n/)

put (food) into the mouth and chew and swallow it

Play pleɪ/ Verb

engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose

Love /lʌv/ noun

1 a strong feeling of affection

2 a great interest and pleasure in something

3 a person or thing that one loves

verb

feel deep affection or sexual love for (someone)

EPL is a reflective and creative outlet of a bunch of friends, 5 free-spirited professionals living in Hong Kong. We study the tangible and intangible pleasures in life with inquisitive minds, contemplating the true meaning of happiness in this fast-paced 21st century, and ask questions we hope we can answer ourselves.

~ Cora