the gatekeeper to your portals of joy

PACMAN song to MAYWEATHER

2009-12-01T17:43:00.002+08:00

forwarded email..............

This appears in the Examiner, a newspaper in the USA. Made to taunt Mayweather so as to force him to fight PACMAN. Pinoy siguro ang nagpadala nito sa Examiner. Sing to the tune of Sometimes When We Touch as sang by Pacman on the Jimmy Kimell TV Live show.

-GHOST HANDS-

PACMAN SONG TO FLOYD

They asked you if you'll fight me
And you choked on your reply
I'd rather Arum deal with you
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you,
On what you say or do
The fans are now beginning
To see the real you..

And someday when we tats
My LEFT will be too much
That you have to close your eyes
Where do you hide?
I wanna pound you til you're white
'Til your face breaks down and cry
I wanna beat you
'Til you dream and say, goodnight.
You think you are a strategist
That you can insult my pride
But through your insecurities
You're ZERO loss seemed right
You're just another fighter
So far from what is true
An overrated boxer
Who never gives his due

And someday when we tats
My RIGHT will be too much
That you have to close your eyes
Where do you hide?
I wanna pound you til you're white
'Til your face breaks down and cry
I wanna beat you
'Til you dream and say, goodnight.

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
The fans would like to watch you
And see your first defeat
Your huggers understand you
And we know how hard they try
I've watched your Dad protect you
And your Uncle loves to smile :biglaugh:

My coach thinks your a loser
Still searching for a break
You think your odds are better
But then the public bets AGAINST!

And someday when we tats
My SPEED will be too much
That you have to close your eyes
Where can you hide?
I wanna pound you til you're white
'Til your face breaks down and cry
I wanna beat you
'Til you dream and say, goodnight!

HAHAHAHA! kinanta niyo noh!

natoral!

2009-11-25T19:55:00.002+08:00

anak: nay! ang galing ng teacher ko! tinuturuan kami ng kagandahang asal!

nay: talaga anak? eh di marunong kanang gumalang?

anak: natoral.. parang tanga to!

masarap ako..

2009-09-14T21:07:00.001+08:00

masarap

talaga

pag

walang

ginagawa..

tingnan

ako..

wala akong ginagawa..

kaya masarap ako!

hahahahahaha!

cool dance.

2009-07-08T09:42:00.001+08:00

tae.

2009-06-21T08:28:00.001+08:00

boy: mahal alam mo bang para kang tae?

girl: eeeww! kadiri! bastos!

boy: di totoo talaga! seryoso ako!

girl: bakit ba?

boy: hindi kasi kita kayang paglaruan..

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

korean essay worth reading..

2009-06-11T20:34:00.002+08:00

// FORWARDED EMAIL //

all filipinos... . please read this.......

SUBJECT: KOREAN ESSAY WORTH READING
Please pass it to all Filipinos you know.
The message goes:
As you know, we have plenty of Koreans currently
studying in the Philippines to take advantage of
our cheaper tuition fees and learn English at the
same time.

This is an essay written by a Korean student i
want to share with you. (Never mind the grammar;
it's the CONTENT that counts) Maybe it is timely to
think about this in the midst of all the confusion
at present.

MY SHORT ESSAY ABOUT THE PHILIPPINES
Jaeyoun Kim

Filipinos always complain about the corruption in
the Philippines . Do you really think the corruption
is the problem of the Philippines ? I do not
think so. I strongly believe that the problem is
the lack of love for the Philippines

Let me first talk about my country, Korea .
It might help you understand my point.
After the Korean War, South Korea was one
of the poorest countries in the world. Koreans
had to start from scratch because entire country was
destroyed after the Korean War, and we had no
natural resources.

Koreans used to talk about the Philippines , for
Filipinos were very rich in Asia . We envy Filipinos.
Koreans really wanted to be well off like
Filipinos. Many Koreans died of famine.
My father & brother also died because of famine.
Korean government was very corrupt and is still very
corrupt beyond your imagination, but Korea was
able to develop dramatically because Koreans really
did their best for the common good with their heart
burning with patriotism.

Koreans did not work just for themselves but also
for their neighborhood and country. Education inspired
young men with the spirit of patriotism.

40 years ago, President Park took over the
government to reform Korea . He tried to borrow money
from other countries, but it was not possible to get a
loan and attract a foreign investment because the
economic situation of South Korea was so bad. Korea had
only three factories. So, President Park sent many mine
workers and nurses to Germany so that
they could send money to Korea to build a factory.
They had to go through horrible experience.

In 1964, President Park visited Germany to borrow
money. Hundred of Koreans in Germany came to the
airport to welcome him and cried there as they saw
the President Park . They asked to him, "President,
when can we be well off?" That was the only question
everyone asked to him. President Park cried with
them and promised them that Korea would be well
off if everyone works hard for Korea , and the President
of Germany got the strong impression on them
and lent money to Korea . So, President Park was
able to build many factories in Korea . He always
asked Koreans to love their country from their heart.

Many Korean scientists and engineers in the USA
came back to Korea to help developing country
because they wanted their country to be well off.
Though they received very small salary, they did their
best for Korea . They always hoped that their children
would live in well off country.

My parents always brought me to the places where
poor and physically handicapped people live. They
wanted me to understand their life and help them.
I also worked for Catholic Church when I was in the army.
The only thing I learned from Catholic Church was that we
have to love our neighborhood. And, I have loved my
neighborhood. Have you cried for the
Philippines? I have cried for my country several
times. I also cried for the Philippines because of so many
poor people. I have been to the New Bilibid
prison. What made me sad in the prison were the
prisoners who do not have any love for their country.
They go to mass and work for Church. They pray
everyday.

However, they do not love the Philippines . I
talked to two prisoners at the maximum-security compound,
and both of them said that they would leave the
Philippines right after they are released from the
prison. They said that they would start a new life in other
countries and never come back to the Philippines

Many Koreans have a great love for Korea so that
we were able to share our wealth with our neighborhood.
The owners of factory and company were distributed their
profit to their employees fairly so that employees could
buy what they needed and saved money for the
future and their children.

When I was in Korea , I had a very strong faith and
wanted to be a priest. However, when I came to the Philippines ,
I completely lost my faith.
I was very confused when I saw many unbelievable
situations in the Philippines . Street kids always make me sad,
and I see them everyday. The Philippines is the only Catholic
country in Asia , but there are too many poor people here.
People go to church every Sunday to pray, but nothing has
been changed.

My parents came to the Philippines last week and
saw this situation. They told me that Korea was much poorer
than the present Philippines when they
were young. They are so sorry that there are so
many beggars and street kids. When we went to Pasangjan,
I forced my parents to take a boat because
it would fun. However, they were not happy after
taking a boat. They said that they would not take the boat
again because they were sympathized the
boatmen, for the boatmen were very poor and had a
small frame. Most of people just took a boat and enjoyed it.
But, my parents did not enjoy it because of love
for them.

My mother who has been working for Catholic Church
since I was very young told me that if we just go to
mass without changing ourselves, we are not
Catholic indeed. Faith should come with action.
She added that I have to love Filipinos and do good things
for them because all of us are same and have received a great
love from God. I want Filipinos to love their
neighborhood and country as much as they love God
so that the Philippines will be well off..

I am sure that love is the keyword, which Filipinos
should remember. We cannot change the sinful structure at once.
It should start from person. Love must start in everybody,
in a small scale and have to grow. A lot of
things happen if we open up to love. Let's put away
our prejudices and look at our worries with our new eyes.

I discover that every person is worthy to be
loved. Trust in love, because it makes changes possible.
Love changes you and me. It changes people, contexts and
relationships. It changes the world. Please love your
neighborhood and country.

Jesus Christ said that whatever we do to others we
do to Him. In the Philippines , there is God for people who
are abused and abandoned. There is God who is crying for love.
If you have a child, teach them how to love the Philippines .
Teach them why they have to love their neighborhood and country.
You already know that God also will be very happy if you love others.

That's all I really want to ask you Filipinos.

(FOR THE LOVE OF OUR COUNTRY PLEASE PASS THIS MESSAGE)

wi-fi.

2009-05-23T21:38:00.001+08:00

sa mcdo..

boy: may wi-fi ba dito?

crew: ay sir. wala po eh. apple-fi lang tsaka pineapple-fi.. do you still want to order sir?

NGEKEKEKEK!

seven.

2009-05-18T12:55:00.005+08:00

what's in the number 7?

why is it God's perfect number?

well in fact.. 7 is an odd number!

just think..

there are 7 days a week..

7 wonders of the world..

in the bible.. you must forgive a person 77 times.

even the word FORGIVE has 7 letters.

the rainbow has 7 colors..

and the word RAINBOW has 7 letters.

even the word PROMISE.

maybe God designed it.

for even the word MYSTERY has 7 letters..

and now use OLAY TOTAL EFFECTS to fight the 7 signs of skin aging..

see the effect in just 7 days..

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

tulala..

2009-05-13T19:17:00.005+08:00

cheesiest poem ever made:

mahal kita. todo todo.

walang break. walang preno.

mabangga man sa kanto.

ikaw pa rin ang mahal ko.

sa dahon ng gumamela.

sa bulaklak ng sampaguita.

doon mo makikita ang

salitang "mahal kita."

mahal kita sa tagalog.

i love you sa english.

143 sa mathematics.

ewan ko lang sa physics.

tubig is water.

ilog is river.

combine it together.

i love you forever.

HAHAHAHAH!

definitions..

2009-05-08T20:58:00.001+08:00

Pedro writing his medical entrance exam.. gives definitions as follows:

* antibody: against everybody

* artery: study of the paintings

* genes: blue denims

* hymen: greeting to several males

* labor pain: hurt at work

* liposuction: french kiss

* microbes: small dressing gowns

* cardiology: advanced study of playing cards

* cat scan: searching for lost cat

* coma: punctuation mark

* bacteria: back door to a cafeteria

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

the more the merrier..

2009-04-19T21:55:00.008+08:00

akala ko ba THE MORE THE MERRIER? eh bakit nagagalit ka?!

- pimples

waaaaaaaaaaaaahhahahah!

usok..

2009-04-12T10:25:00.004+08:00

napag-alaman ko na hindi pala talaga water vapor ang usok na lumalabas sa takore pag nagpapakulo..

..yung usok pala ay actually..

..kaluluwa ng mga germs.

iskandalo..

2009-03-29T19:53:00.006+08:00

The truth behind Chris Brown and Rihanna's scandal..

Si Chris Brown at Rihanna nag KISS KISS. Tapos bigla silang nag-away. Sabi tuloy ni Rihanna, just SHUT UP AND DRIVE but PLEASE DON'T STOP THE MUSIC. So itong si Chris Brown, nagalit naman. Tapos hinagis ni Chris Brown bigla si Rihanna WALL TO WALL kasi SUPERHUMAN siya eh. After nun, sinakal ni Chris Brown si Rihanna hangga't sumigaw si Rihanna ng NO AIR! NO AIR! Gusto mag-sorry ni Chris Brown pero as usual, sabi lang ni Rihanna, TAKE A BOW and just go to the REHAB. So ayun, na-DISTURBIA lang sila pareho.

hahahahahahah!

iligan - the city of majestic waterfalls

2009-03-27T11:07:00.012+08:00

Maria Cristina Falls

Limunsudan Falls

Tinago Falls

Mimbalut Falls

Dodiongan Falls

Dalipuga Falls

Hindang Falls

Langilanon Falls

Pampam Falls

Kalubihon Falls

Other waterfalls: Lumbatin Falls, Languyon Falls, Malaigang Falls, Kalisaon Falls, Malapacan Falls, Linanot Falls, Malinao Falls, Guimbalolan Falls, Gata Falls, Kibalang Falls, Pindarangahan Falls and Rogongon Falls.

palusot!

2009-03-16T08:50:00.003+08:00

nahuli ka ng parents mo na inumaga na ng uwi..

anong palusot mo?

"hayy.. ang aga ko talagang gumising..

mag-jogging kaya ako ulet?"

heheheheheh!

tagtagan na!

2009-03-13T09:48:00.002+08:00

rules: (1) isulat kung sino ang nag-tag sayo (2) sagutin: pangalan mo / kaliwete o kananete? (tagalog ng right-handed? hahahaha) / paboritong titik na isulat / hindi masyadong gustong isulat na titik (nakalimutan kong isulat! hahaha) / isulat: the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. (3) mag tag ng limang nilalang (4) sulat-kamay talaga!

tag galing ke amor. larawan daw ng legs. kaya heto na. wooohhh la laaaaaahh! hahahaha! tag ko sina cindyrella, jhosel, gasdude at mamayanah!

matulungin!

2009-03-10T21:38:00.001+08:00

teacher asks the pupils what they want to be in the future..

kiko: i want to be a lawyer!

juan: i want to be a doctor!

nene: i want to have a child!

pablo: i want to help nene!

nyahahahahahahhahaha!

nakakaaliw!

2009-03-04T22:18:00.001+08:00

tugsh!

2009-03-01T18:27:00.001+08:00

nagkabungguan ang dalawang boys..

TUGSH!

boy1: aray! bulag ka ba pare?

boy2: paano ako magiging bulag..

..eh may pagtingin nga ako sayo?!

hahahahahahahahah!

hahaha!

2009-02-23T12:13:00.004+08:00

Wife stands in front of the mirror and tells husband, "I'm ugly! My boobs are sagging! My ass is too fat! Give me a compliment!"

Husband: "You have a very good eyesight!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

tameme!

2009-02-17T11:36:00.003+08:00

si juan nag-apply sa call center..

interviewer: what's your name?

juan: maam.. my name is is JUAN D' GREAT.

interviewer: (nagulat!) ahh.. so what are you applying for?

juan: maam.. i'm not applying four.. i'm applying only one.

interviewer: (tameme!) ahh.. so what can you contribute for the company?

juan: maam.. i got only P100 in my wallet.. is that ok?

interviewer: taena ka! humanap ka ng kausap mo!

juan: maam.. i can't understand tagalog.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

isang tanong. isang sagot.

2009-02-14T09:05:00.006+08:00

may nakita ako sa spikedhumor.com na sa tingin ko ay totoong sagot ng isang totoong estudyante sa isang totoong pagsusulit sa isang totoong math problem. hahaha. tawang-tawa talaga ako dito.

kokontra ka pa ba sa sagot na ito? tama naman diba? hahaha. pinapahanap ang x. ayun hinanap niya. at natagpuan! hahahaha. isa ka talagang henyo! kung sino ka man! hahahaha.

awooh?

2009-02-12T20:27:00.009+08:00

pinapasigaw ako ni mamayanah kaya heto na..

BAAAALLLOOOOOOOTTTT??!!!

ang sarap! kumain ako ngayon ng isa!

MAAAANNNNNNNGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

kumain ako kaninang hapon! hindi ako masyadong nasarapan sa sawsawan!

kailangan bang ipasa? okey sumigaw na rin kayo RJ, cyndirellaz, payatot, jhosel, abe mulong caracas!

hulog sa bitag!

2009-02-11T21:03:00.009+08:00

kahapon ay bumalik kami sa pond para muling subukan ang aming kapalaran sa pamimingwit ng isda sa ikatlong pagkakataon. nagdala kami ng nylon, mas maliit na hook kesa dati at yung pain pa rin namin ay yung maliliit na shrimps. pagdating doon ay sinimulan na namin ang pagkabit ng hook sa nylon. at pagkabit ng nylon sa sanga. tatlo kami. kaya tatlo ang ginawa naming pamingwit para more chances of winning ikanga. hahaha. isipin nating may dalawamput limang isda lang ang lumalangoy sa pond na yun. at iisa lang ang aming pamingwit. so 1/25 = 0.04. so 4% lang ang probability na makahuli kami. ikumpara natin sa tatlong pamingwit. so 3/25 = 0.12. so 12% ang chance namin na may mauto kaming isda. hahaha. sasabihin ninyo 'bakit di nalang kayo gumawa ng dalawamput limang pamingwit para siguradong may mahuli kayo?' una. nakakatamad. dalawa. kukulangin na kami sa nylon, hook at pain. tatlo. baka abutan na kami ng gabi sa paghanap na mahabang sanga. apat. excited na kami sobra makapwesto at mamingwit. lima. hindi naman talaga 100% sigurado na makahuli kasi nga ang laki ng pond. hindi natin 100% alam kung saan talaga ang lokasyon ng mga isda. at hindi rin natin 100% alam kung titirahin nila yung mga pain baka kasi busog rin sila. haha. basta ang daming factors. kailangan ko pang mag-review. basic statistics lang ang gusto kong ipakita. more chances of winning ikanga. nagsalita ang unemployed statistician. hahaha.

okey heto na! nakahuli na rin kami sa wakas! ang unang klaseng isda na nahuli namin. hito ata ito. di namin masyado alam. mga tatlong pulgada lamang ang liit nito. ako ang unang nakahuli sa amin kasi ako ang unang nakapaghanda ng pamingwit. hahaha. pero sa buong hapon ay isa lang ang nahuli ko. nakatatlo o apat na mga kaibigan ko. hahaha. pero okey lang. masaya pa rin. ang ikalawang klaseng isda na nahuli ng isang kaibigan ko ay isang maliit na tilapia. ayun sapol sa hook. haha.

masayang masaya kami kasi may nauto na kaming mga isda sa wakas. hahaha. nakakaaliw talaga ang pangingisda!

nagpakain lang sa mga isda..

2009-02-09T19:35:00.009+08:00

bumalik kami ni hardwaremaster dun sa pond nung linggo kasama ang isa pa naming kaibigan na absent nung una. siya ang nakapagbigay liwanag sa amin kung paano gamitin yung fishing rod. wala rin siyang karanasan sa paggamit ng ganung klaseng bagay pero siya yung nakabigay ng tamang paraan kung paano gamitin ang bagay na yun. chamba? siguro? pero sa tingin ko common sense lang talaga kailangan dun. haha. wala. mga utak manok lang kami ni hardwaremaster nung una hahaha. ayun okei na ang setup. yung dinala kong mga pain ay maliliit na shrimps na talaga. haha putek na talaga kung wala pa kaming mahuli dito. may mga bata at ilang manong ang nanood habang hinahanda namin yun. nakakahiya kasi parang tingin nila sa amin ay mga eksperto na sa larangan ng pangingisda at pamimingwit hahaha. manghang-mangha sila sa aming gamit na pamingwit. haha.

ilang minuto pa lang ang nakalipas ay nagrereklamo na kami sa tagal ng mga isdang lumapit sa aming bitag. panay pa sabi ko ng 'patience talaga kelangan pag namimingwit.' hahaha ang nagsalita. palagi akong lumilipat ng puwesto. mister patience nga naman talaga. hahaha. ayun. hanggang umabot na kami sa puwesto katabi ng mamang namimingwit rin. grabe ang dami na niyang nahuli! maliliit at may katamtaman din ang laki ng mga isdang nakuha niya. sabi niya may mga malalaki daw dun sa bandang malalim. mga tilapia, hito at iba pang isda. binebenta daw niya ang kanyang mga nahuhuli at ang iba ay ginagawang ulam. ayun. napansin rin niya na malaki yung hook na gamit namin at mga maliliit lang na isda ang nasa bandang mababaw. natawa si manong. haha. ngayon lang din namin napansin. haha mga utak manok talaga. hahaha. kaya isang dahilan rin yun kung bakit di kami nakakahuli. di pa rin kami nawalan ng pag-asa. ilang minuto ay may mga lumalapit na na mga tatlong pulgadang laki na mga isda. kaso. tinitirahan lang nila yung pain sa gilid. halatang enjoy na enjoy sila. busog na busog sa free meals. hindi talaga naming makuha sila na makabit sa hook. sayang. ibibigay din sana namin kung may mahuli kami kay manong. pero di pa rin kami nawawalan ng pag-asa. babalik pa rin kami sa susunod. mister patience nga talaga naman hahaha.