Blog of Thoughts

The checkpoint number

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 19:01:00 +0000

Hey you, December 16, I miss you. Sorry for missing your birthday :( Yet, you still remember mine... Thank you. Kapan ya kita merayakan ulang tahun bersama lagi :)

Letting go

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 18:21:00 +0000

Let's go find me a companion. *smile*

The Problem with Hope

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 18:00:00 +0000

What is it with hope? Once it gets into your head, it tends to stay for a long time. Nobody knew. It was once upon a time in 2005, when I saw him there. I was happy and hoping to be able to know more. Talking more, observing, listening, understanding... Took me years before it finally became like today. I was cultivating hope. And this year, out of the sudden I felt it again. The butterflies, curiosity, and compassion. I told myself that I am not going to do this again. Feeling so much like a fool now. Forgive me, God, for I have sinned. For a moment there I thought we had a moment. But I was wrong.

Broken Hearted

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 18:07:00 +0000

"I think I better leave right now, before I fall any deeper..."

At first, it was annoying. Later, it grew into a constant itch and something that you're just dying to get rid of. It is typo.

They want to attract more. They want to make it big. I say they should build a strong fence first. Seeing it like this is just breaking my heart.

*sigh*

Four Hours of Hope

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 11:08:00 +0000

Oct 10. 10-10-11. Will it change my future? I still don't know. Do I like the thought? Yes, I do. Was it going according to my expectation? Not really. Was it better or worse? Depends on how you look at it. Is it going to be difficult?

Yes, it is. But life has to advance. And we cannot move backward.

No matter what the future holds, I will be ready and preparing my game shoes.

Bring-it-on.

And he said hello

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 20:16:00 +0000

"And I wonder if I ever crossed your mind..."

Someone was trying to be nice to me today. He smiled and introduced himself. Never thought of him as a friendly guy, but I guess I was totally wrong. He and his charming accent somehow catch my attention at first, but not his physical appearance. I never even considered being his friend in this environment. My bad, I know. I am picky, I know, but that is the fact. Today he greeted me and gave me some appreciations, and suddenly I was feeling so shy. I felt so embarrassed and could not wait to just ran away from his sight. A day before a guy also flirted with me during my working hours. We had met several times before and he always took the time to praise my look and tried to tease me in a fifth-grader kinda way. I completely ignored him, despite the fact that his appearance was pleasing to my eyes. So, it was twice in a week!

What is wrong with me?? How did I get this low self-esteem? I know I can be confident and daring when I need myself to be, but at these moments where I know that I might heading on a new relationship I just automatically shield myself. I loaded craps in my head which said that "I don't need this" or "this is never gonna work" or "he is just full of it" or "he is just too good to be true, and when something's too good to be true, it usually is."

I guess I have met a lot of jerks in my life. Ass-faces, bastards, liars who just trying to survive and feed their needs. Those jerks have left a lot crap inside of my head, and as much as I want to rewind them all, I could not.

So, I am not lucky in relationship. So, maintaining a guy is not my forte. So, it is not easy to find my compatible match. But I still have plenty other blessings in my hands that I should not take for granted. I just have to love myself for the way it is.

How many time did people praise me and I denied it harshly? Next time, I will smile and say thank you. No matter how icky and ridiculous the praise is. In the end, it is not me who could judge me. Like Lady Antebellum said:

"Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all."

- Shirley, putting on her game shoes and running to the field

Kanpai, Angie!

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 18:26:00 +0000

My friend is off to New York and she is going to study social subjects at Columbia university for two years. She will continue to write a weekly column on Student Globe. I'm gonna miss my dance teacher, fosho... Would surely remember the crazy nights...with me ended up sleeping on a stranger's couch, or when we "babysit" that young American intel, or chasing frisbee over some guy who had me at hello, or taking pictures during the fun big durian race, or how she juggled between emotions and finally fell over a guy with an accent. She asked me where I would end up in two years, and I was completely clueless! Oh, well... how would I know? All I want is to keep on moving forward... Maybe try to live in some place new, maybe try to create a new activity (I mean catching a disc is no longer fun without him and you). If you read this, I hope you do know that I wish you all the sunshine in the world :) Let's keep in touch. Drink white wine, sing rap songs, dance some more and have fun along the way...

Hopefully we will meet again in New York in spring! Until then, cheersss! ^o^ p

I Lost My Blackberry

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Sat, 30 Jul 2011 10:06:00 +0000

Jesus, help me because I know I cannot help myself. I know you were trying to say something, but I just would not listen...

A Tasty Chinese Lunch with Goorme

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 22:56:00 +0000

Last week was a lovely Sunday. The fact that I had to work on a Sunday did not stop me from joining a scrumptious lunch with Goorme. I got invited to try a new Chinese restaurant, Paradise Dynasty. The place is going to be opened soon for public, and it is located in Plaza Senayan (in front of the XXI cineplex). I asked a colleague to accompany me, and we both were ready to fill up our tummies with xiao long bao and other authentic chinese cuisine.

Xiao Long Bao is a special type of dumpling which can be found in many chinese restaurant. It needs special "technique" to enjoy it to the max; one shall put the dumpling inside a soup spoon, rip the dumpling skin a lill' bit and sip the stock soup inside, before adding a bit of ginger slice and vinegar to compliment the taste. Well, since it requires special eating method, it also requires special skill to make it and unfortunately not all chinese restaurants are able to make the best out of it.

Paradise Dynasty is a restaurant under the same management of the company who previously has successfully managed a middle upper f&b brands such as Sushi Tei and Bakerzin. The brand itself is a franchise from China, and has been known in neighbor Singapore.

As soon as we arrived, we were advised to order the 8-flavour Xiao Long Bao as our entrée. We took the advice and quick to know the reason why. The 8-flavor dumplings are really quick to serve and has been carefully prepared as the restaurant's ultimate menu. Each of us were given out "instructions" on how (and when) to eat the dumplings in specific order. I, however, found myself breaking the rule because I did not have my breakfast and was too hungry to even bother to follow the order :p

(to be continued)

Fiction: Life is a Bitch. Deal with it.

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 16:00:00 +0000

"You seduced me," he said. She laughed and rolled her eyes. Maybe she did... But he invited her and had estimated that she should be going in two hours. Soon. It was raining outside and he did not stop her from leaving. He did not even offer her an umbrella or walk her out.

"How old are you?" he asked. She did not answer. She was thinking to herself that age did not matter. The point was that very moment that she was going to treasure for a long time, if not forever.

She wanted to tell him the story of her life, but she said to herself what was the point if he was going to forget about her the following day. She wanted to tell him that she was just testing him, but turned out all came out from her lips was "I don't know". She was not ready to open up.

He opened the door and stretched his arms wide. She smiled, did not embrace the gesture. She wanted him to make her stay, but he never did.

So tomorrow is going to be another day. Another encounter with another soul. Another unexpected thing. What is the point of falling in love, she said to herself. Life is a bitch, so deal with it.

Single Girls: No Limits

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Tue, 17 May 2011 15:26:00 +0000

It was just yesterday when I told my friend that I have a good tandem now. Today I found out that she kissed our new friend, the guy that I would like to hang out more with. The hurtful truth is, I do not feel like I have anyone.

Last Friday was the craziest I have ever been after two years. Been drinking too much, dancing too wild, acting too far. Not really proud to the fact that I was acting like an early twenties again.

Never trust someone in a bar, I know. But I guess even the slightest image of that someone could made me happy. Or at least I thought so. Never expect a call, I know. But the memory of having someone to dance with was just exciting.

So one person left. I did not even look back or willing to say goodbye. The person will never come back, I know, as I saw the traces of pain were still there in his eyes. I do not know why, and I did not want to ask. All I know is it has left a small gap in my mind, that could grow bigger if I do not move it somewhere. On booze or on paper, does not really matter.

What matter now is I want to leave. I want to never deal with reality and drown myself in an immense force of something to keep my brain working as hard as it could.

Friendship, family, flings. The sad truth is; I am not an expert in any of those areas.

What Would He Say

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Thu, 12 May 2011 17:39:00 +0000

He knew I would like to sit at that corner. He knew I am in misery. So, if one morning I find him sitting there at my corner and greet me a warm good morning, I wonder what would he say...

Will I be caught off-guard like Adam and Eve after they ate the fruit of knowledge?

He knew that I wanted to be wrong. He knew at this point I do not really care. The selfish me inside was too strong to be kept hiding. He knew, he knew, he knew.

Whenever I put on my party dress and dancing shoes, he knew.
Whenever I drank too much just to loose grip of reality, he knew.
Whenever I looked at someone with lust, he knew.

There is nothing hidden from him, as he is my anchor, my guardian, my best friend. So, if one morning he decides to come by and greet me, I would like to be able to give him a big smile on my face, without having to say that I am actually... happy.

Level One: Designers’ Heart at Its Best Ground

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Sun, 08 May 2011 16:28:00 +0000

I don't know about you, but I looove watching “Fashion Avenue” series on cable TV. If you have not seen the show yet, it is about discovering fashion destination within a particular city around the world. The presenter of the show, Jodie Kidd, will be given few thousand dollars to purchase a set of outfits meant for specific occasion from local designers’ boutiques. Sometimes she would find that the price of the outfits she needs exceed her budget, thus require her to reach down her own pocket. When she found a gorgeous pair of Jimmy Choo's glittery high-heels in Italy, for example, she did not think twice to add a thousand dollar to get it.

Women and fashion are quite inseparable by nature. There is just something about shoes, purses and dresses that captures women's attention and (many times) calling them out through their deepest dreams at night *LOL*. However, my point is, shows like Fashion Ave inspire me to visit those places and do the most obvious thing to do: shopping!

Level One is located at Grand Indonesia- east mall (1/F). I bought blazer, short, dress, accessories here. I feel proud wearing them, because usually they are limited collections. Wouldn't want to go to a party and standing next to a girl wearing an identical dress, rightt?? ;p

But not everybody has the luxury to travel at anytime, nor to buy Jimmy Choo’s ankle boots in a blink. I, like common Jakarta residents, do not want to go far to shop.

Unfortunately, shows like Fashion Ave also made me realized that Jakarta, the capital city that has over 10 million population, does not have fashion destinations that could spoil my unique preference in a rich way. For a moment, curated Brightspot market could answer my euphoria of edgy stuff. However, after a while the crowd was getting bigger (which could up to thousands of visitors per event), while the space has limitation. In that bazaar-like event, I have to admit that it was not comfortable for me to try an outfit right there and then.

Level One is using centralized cashier

Almost a year ago, one of Jakarta’s post mall Grand Indonesia suddenly turned its spacious area in East mall to showcase 22 local designers. The dedicated area on the first floor was called “Level One”, where some of its stores have gained popularity in Brightspot market. After the closing of Harvey Nichols which used to be located nearby, Grand Indonesia decided to expand Level One and add a dozen more brands within the area. It's part of the mall's CSR program, which means, unlike regular merchants, Level One's tenants would get discount for their space.

I was so excited when I knew that I do not have to wait for Brighspot market to get outfits with distinctive stylish designs. If you have visited Ciel, Satcas, Saint and Sinner, Magic Happens and the rest of Level One “gank”, you would know that these young Indonesian designers are so talented and not afraid to be different! From washed-out materials, torn edges, to unexpected color combination and patterns… Their imaginations would only leave two options for you: love it or hate it. There is no somewhere in between.

So Indonesia probably still needs a long way to make its “Jakarta Fashion Week” equally appreciated like similar event in New York, Paris or Milan, but at least with a dedicated high fashion destination like Level One I would know where to take Jodie Kidd if she decides to visit, or my traveler friends who are looking to buy local designs to keep Indonesia in the back of their mind. Like Tex Saverio whose outfit suddenly modeled by Lady Gaga, I hope there would be many more designers to receive such international recognition.

Meanwhile, cozy location, edgy architecture, unique interior setting within each outlet, and cool eateries nearby would definitely give window-shoppers more reasons to stay at Level One and come back for more.

Slainte!

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 05:21:00 +0000

Dicari: Hidup Sempurna

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Sun, 10 Apr 2011 19:38:00 +0000

"(Lebih) tinggi. Tegap. Pintar. Tidak terlalu serius. Tidak jaim, apalagi sok alim."

Picky? Terlalu pilih-pilih? Bisa jadi. Tidak masuk akal? Justru sebaliknya, sangat masuk akal. Semakin lama hidup sendiri, semakin susah untuk menemukan compatible companion yang bisa menyesuaikan dengan kebiasaan diri yang sudah terbentuk bertahun-tahun.

Karena itu, menurutku mereka yang semakin "tidak pilih-pilih" ketika mereka memasuki "usia kritis" a la Asia itu nanggung. Udah lama menunggu pasangan yg tepat, apalah artinya menunggu lebih lama lagi. Bukankah begitu? :)

Terus terang, saya kini tidak begitu senang untuk pulang ke Surabaya. Makanannya enak-enak, kamar saya di rumah bikin tidur nyenyak, dan bertemu dengan keluarga dan teman pun tentunya bisa sangat menyenangkan. Tapi nyatanya, tidak demikian.

Ketika saya pulang, saya harus banyak bercerita. Meski seorang jurnalis, saya sesungguhnya tidak suka terlalu berkata-kata tentang diri sendiri. Rindu orang tua dan kakak, tentu. Tapi ketika saya menginjak rumah, saya bukan lagi anggota yang dulu pernah tinggal selama 22 tahun di sana. Saya bukanlah si bungsu yang selalu kurang hak suara. Selama beberapa tahun hidup sendiri, saya sudah tumbuh menjadi seseorang yang sangat individual dan penuh perhitungan dalam bertindak.

Sempat terpikir untuk membuka situs airlines dan mengklik tombol beli di halaman "Jakarta-Surabaya". Namun, begitu teringat bahwa saya harus bercerita panjang-lebar dan menjelaskan ini-itu, perasaan kangen itu terpaksa dikubur dalam-dalam. Begitu juga dengan pandangan teman-teman akrab yang sepertinya mulai mengkhawatirkan keadaan "solo" saya, namun hanya mampu memandang dengan iba dan bersikap sangat hati-hati supaya tidak menyinggung ketika mereka dengan antusiasnya menceritakan tentang role mereka sebagai ibu-ibu muda. Girls, I really am happy for you.

Lalu, mama sering mengirim pesan berisi ayat-ayat dan nasihat untuk jangan lupa pergi beribadah. Seakan-akan selama bertahun-tahun ini saya tidak pernah melakukannya. Beliau tahu jiwa pemberontak saya sedari dulu, namun tetap melakukannya. Dulu, saya tidak begitu perlu belajar kala sekolah. Saya akan belajar secukupnya, namun tidak sekali ketika disuruh. Maka dari itu, mama, saya tidak perlu diingatkan.

Tuhan itu baik, saya tahu. Tuhan cinta saya dan dia, saya pun tahu. Namun, ketika akal tidak bisa menerima keabsenan suatu makna dan pesan supernatural yang tersirat, hati pun tak kuasa untuk tak berontak.

Saya tahu ada banyak orang yang hidup sekian lama hingga mati tanpa mengetahui tujuan hidupnya. Lalu, ada sebagian kecil mereka yang sudah mengetahuinya sedari awal. They called it prodigy. Saya harap saya termasuk yang terakhir.

Kalau tidak, apalah gunanya otak dan tangan luar biasa yang telah dianugerahkan Tuhan pada saya ini?

Preparations for Dublin trip

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 11:58:00 +0000

Jazz bar:

J.J. Smyths. 12 Aungier Street, Dublin 2. Tel: +353 1 475 2565 Fax: +353 1 677 6325.[Saturday - Thursday]

The Conrad Hotel. Earlsfort Terrace,(Off Stephen's Green South/East. Opposite National Concert Hall) [World-class jazz guitarist, Louie Stewart, and his quartet, plays every Saturday night at 8pm in the hotel bar. No cover charge].

Dublin pub:

10. The Brazen Head

Brazen Head Pub, DublinThe oldest pub in Dublin, and a must for every pub-lover. The only pub in Dublin with a courtyard, and, in fact, one of the only pubs in central Dublin where you can drink outside If the sun is shining - don't hold your breath - there are few better places to go. With warm fires and welcoming staff, however, this is also an excellent place to visit on a chilly winter's eve. The Guinness is among the best you will find, and the food is basic but sustaining, and ideal for a session - plates of chips with ketchup, for example. The Brazen Head is divided into several rooms, some big, some small, but all with a great atmosphere. Service is quick and efficient. The pub attracts a mixed clientele, which indeed is characteristic of all the best pubs in Dublin - young trendies, people who have just left work, drunks, tourists, travellers, people out for a mug of tea, locals, country-folk and even priests will be there - all getting on with the business in hand, of having a pint and putting the world to rights. If that is what you want, few pubs can hold a candle to The Brazen Head.

9. Sackville Lounge

A personal favourite of mine, and the only northside pub to make the top 10. It is an oasis amidst the desert of inner-city north Dublin. The only place where you are guaranteed a seat and quick service on a Friday or Saturday night. Pure north Dublin. It looks like it has been transported from the 1950s. The Guinness is exquisite. The bar is tiny, and most nights of the week the clientele consists of men on their own, chatting or watching the television. At weekends the place becomes a little more lively, with an eclectic bunch of drinkers, including actors and groups of middle-aged women out for a session. It seem to be a place for husbands to hang out on Thursday while their wives take advantage of late-night shopping. Fintan, the barman, easily wins the award as Best Dublin Barman. His standards of service are second to none, and he is a laugh. The toasted sandwiches mean you will not have to leave the place all evening. If you fancy a pint on your own or a quiet chat, head for this place. A word of warning for the easily offended - the toilets are disgusting. But who cares?

8. Messrs Maguire

Messrs Maguire Pub DublinA new pub, serving REAL BEER. Yes, a new trend in Dublin is the brewing, on the premises, of wonderful real ales and this pub, along with The Porterhouse, of which more later, is leading the way. It has bouncers on the door but unless you're steaming you'll get in. It is simply superb. The Rusty ale is delicious, smooth, tasty, infinitely more-ish. The Haus lager is equally wonderful. They do not serve Guinness, which is nice. Food ranges from generous bar snacks to full blown restaurant meals. The view over O'Connell Bridge is fabulous. A pub in which it is very difficult to resist the temptation to while away the day - or the week. Clean, a touch on the expensive side, attracting a young-ish but discerning crowd, and likely to be mobbed at the weekends - Messrs Maguire is an excellent addition to Dublin's range of pubs.

7. The Long Hall

Long Hall Pub, DublinWorth a visit for three reasons - the superb bar staff, again transported from an earlier age, the cracking Guinness, and the mirrors. This is a pub of mirrors - large, small, distorted, clean, dirty. A popular place for an after-work session, and a good antidote to the more trendy Hogan's, across the road. An ideal stopping off point if you're heading to Whelan's or the The Village to see a band. Overall, another top boozer.

6. Keoghs

Like most pubs featured here, this makes a point of being piped-music free. Has a snug and a bell to call for pints. The upstairs bar is probably the finest room in Dublin in which to sit having a pint. At the risk of a cliché, the craic here is always good. There is a piano, and usually someone attempting to play it. So instead of listening to Steps through a jukebox, you're more likely to get crowds of people singing The Fields of Athenry round the old joanna. Can be crowded in the evenings, and has been known to harbour pick-pockets. Nevertheless, any visit to Dublin can only be enriched by a visit to Keoghs.

5. Davy Byrnes

Davy Byrnes Pub, DublinGo on a Saturday afternoon and spend all afternoon there. They show the latest scores on Ceefax during the football season. Mentioned in Ulysses, though you'd never know it from the modern décor. Attracts an amazing crowd - locals, tourists, mad old people. Just off Grafton Street. Good, high-quality food and great staff. A good pub for meeting and chatting with eccentrics.

4. McDaid's

Simply wonderful. Former haunt of Brendan Behan and Paddy Kavanagh, among other literary giants, and again just off Grafton Street so an ideal place to seek solace after spending too much. There is an excellent upstairs room here which is ideal for parties, book launches and leaving dos, but it will be impossible to stop people drifting down to the intimate main bar. Gets packed at weekends, but on week-nights, and especially in the daytime, this is an excellent place to hang out. And the literary connections make you feel like you're doing something cultural. Good toasted sandwiches. Nip across the road to the heavy metal disco, downstairs in Bruxelles, if you dare.

3. The Palace

Described in The Observer in 1998 as "an almost perfect pub". Has a snug. Serves what must be among the top 3 pints of Guinness in town. Part of Temple Bar but the drunks do not seem to get there. A journalists hang out. It is usually quite empty at lunchtime. Does a good line in soup and sandwiches. If this was not Dublin, this would easily be the best pub in town.

2. Mulligans

Mulligans Pub, DublinMaybe it is the fact that they serve what is unquestionably the best pint of Guinness you will get anywhere in the world. Maybe it is the friendliness and professionalism of the staff. Maybe it is the big tables in the back room, where you will not be able to help chatting away to some new friends. Maybe it is all these things. Mulligans is special. Smoky atmosphere, perhaps not surprisingly given the number of journalists who have made this their local. No trip to Dublin is complete without a night spent in Mulligans.

1. The Porterhouse

Porterhouse Pub, DublinA brew pub. The beer on offer - from the session beer Porterhouse Red to the 7% BrainBlasta, to the hundreds of bottled beers from around the world, is second to none. The lunch and evening menus are first class, including a brilliant Irish Stew, and excellent hot beef sandwiches. There is live music most nights. And you can usually get a seat. The service, at the tables, is perfect. And - thank the lord - they are opening a sister-pub in Covent Garden this year. This is the best place to be, night or day. It stays open until 2.00am as well. It wins awards worldwide for its beer, and keeps the indie flag flying high, against the corporate might of Guinness, who would stamp out this kind of place if they could. For the beer, the food, the décor, the atmosphere, the clientele - I salute you, The Porterhouse. You're the best.

Ok, I'm gonna pack a can or two Guinness in my suitcase, and compare the taste (some say that the ones sold in Indonesia are actually the old version of Guinness from the 50's). Honestly, I like Kilkenny better.

Irelands Tourist Office	www.ireland.ie
Ireland National Trains	www.irishrail.ie
Ireland National Buses	www.buseireann.ie
Car rental	www.thrifty.ie
Dublin Bus	www.dublinbus.ie
Dublin Airport 24 hour express bus	www.aircoach.ie
Maps of Ireland and cities	www.irishtourist.com
Railtours	www.railtoursireland.com

Yes, I am going to blog

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 15:17:00 +0000

Do not ask me to write names. Or explain in details. All I want to do is to write as I like it, and whenever I want it. In other word, the interesting characters or moments which most of the times does not get portrayed in an official article.

Sometimes I would be polite. Sometimes I would come across as harsh or mean. Just do not ask why.

I meet a lot of new people every day. I just hope I could capture and frame them in my bracket of sentences more :)

One Fine Friday

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 15:05:00 +0000

It only took several minutes for two people to connect. At least in my experience. It was a fine Friday. I got there pretty early, trying to eliminate the stereotype note that Indonesians are likely to be late. Well, I was on time... mainly because I just got up from the bed and the location was near from my place. I saw him whom I have seen earlier through a picture on the internet. The image in my head was 7 years younger, but there he was, just as I remembered.

We sat, introduce ourselves, and had delish lunch. He was silent at first, sitting there at a distance like any other big guy. "Do you like Indonesian food?" And from there my icebreaker sentence made him talk more. Within less than 5 minutes, I felt that the wall between all of us just fell down, especially between me and him.

Next, I instantly noticed the obvious thing: he did not have a ring. Or not wearing it. I always restrain myself when I am talking to a married man, and it is a good principal of mine. In my eyes, guys are guys, and more often than not, married man would be looser than the single one. However, I felt comfortable talking with him. Plus, he seems to understand my usual English just fine, because he responded very quickly to my every sentence. It just turned me off when talking to someone who took a pause to answer questions or asked, "what?" when he actually just tried to give himself time to think about the answer (we all know we did that sometimes). But he did not. For me, that is a sign of honesty and clicked chemistry.

Suddenly, I became more "me" and less "journalist". I even missed it when he said "region". After leaving the room, he crossed his legs and had more conversation with me. I smiled and teased him several of times. A sign that I really enjoy his companion. Unfortunately, I did not ask several important questions... such as his phone number.

Oh well. Soon after I departed from the building, I wrote him an email, along with a screen shot of my page. I hope he would not find me (although I highly doubt it). Nowadays, we can search for anyone by typing.

I did give him my number and tell him to contact me if he ever visit the country again. And he said he hoped so, too. We'll see :)

'Heddick'. And I Just Read Your Blog.

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 11:01:00 +0000

After several phone calls and text messages, I finally felt it.

You know damn well that we miss each other, and the last time wasn't exactly a good "closure".

You and your uptight composure when we stood on your soil.

You have 6 things you hate about me, what's the blank no. 4???

Well, I hate it that we didn't get the chance to say goodbye... Remember how you drove like crazy to fight the traffic to the airport and that we laughed and joked around all the way without even knowing that it would be the last time we saw each other.

It was new year's day and I dreamed about you. About a casual conversation that happened like a reality, but suddenly gone as soon as I woke up. Maybe I was hitting my conscience at the wrong time.

A year ago, it was Bali. A year before, the scorching new year on a beach located somewhere at western part of Java. A year before that, I was totally fine.

Happy new year.... or wait, just another new year without adding an adjective in front of it.

Happy New Year!

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 17:36:00 +0000

Dear friends,

I know I have not been blogging lately. 2010 has been an okay year for me, mostly highlighted with accomplishments in career life and a firm decision to leave the advertising industry and focused on journalism.

Life is not easy. It never is. During the ups and downs I have had experienced throughout 2010, I realize that the search for happiness is going to be a never-ending journey. As a high achiever, I often think about things beyond my reach and push myself to go further. By doing so, I kept on criticizing myself and learning from mistakes and things that I consider as "defeats".

So, 2010 was not exactly my favorite year. But I did learn a lot along the way.

Right now I am just focusing my energy to become a better journalist, and I apologize if I would end up "sacrificing" this dear blog. I do hope you would stick around and come to visit me from time to time.

HAVE A ROCKIN' 2011 and GOD SPEED!

I will always love you, Ogilvy!

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 16:51:00 +0000

"The thing that is important is the thing that is not seen . . ."

It's not the desk. It's not the chair. It's definitely not the Pentium 4 :)

It's the presence and the friendship that I will surely miss.

But we will meet again. If my life is a book, Ogilvy and all of you have filled some pages on it...
and I would flip the page to relive the wonderful memories.

Thank you for everything.

Good luck and God bless.

Tick Tock Tick Tock...

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 15:59:00 +0000

3 days and counting.......... :)

Do You Feel What I Feel?

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 10:39:00 +0000

It's like climbing up a mountain. You stop to catch your breath. When you look down, no one is there. It's like running a marathon. You pass a person or two. When you look back, no one is there. It's like being deserted in an island and refuse to be found.

It's not an attitude. It's simply a personality. Or could be, a destiny.

Remember, mom, I used to be so excited on my first day to school. You made me breakfast and dressed me up in my new red uniform, and prepared blank notebooks inside my matching red bag. Dad took so many pictures of me. Smiling. Ready to face the world. As soon as we reached the kindergarten yard, I asked you to go home. I never forget that childhood, because you always remind me.

Two years after that, got a story published. Since it was a small town, everybody knew. Amazing. Since then, I knew that I would never wanna use real name again. I dislike attention. Read my story, please, but do not read me. I knew that I want to be a writer.

I told mommy I wanted to be a surgeon. A lawyer. An archeologist. I want to join Greenpeace and save the world. Such a vague concept for a nine-year-old. Dad failed as a law student, so I must not try. Mom was a nurse, so she was proud when I wanted to heal the wounded. Despite the fact, I am a coward. Blood disgust me, corpse freaks me out. I could not save the world with a scalpel.

I was more in love with words. Thanks to mom and dad, I read the Holy Bible. Thanks to God, I'm not a dyslexia. Every single cell in my brain is happy to absorb letters and spit them out on paper. Not just letters, my brain captures visuals and keeps them for a long time, too. I may not be Leonardo da Vinci, but he is the perfect example of possibility.

Some called it weird, some called it geek, some even called it freak. Only some could actually say that we are created for a bigger purpose.

You are a child of the universe; your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so other people won't feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of all that's within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. - Nelson Mandela

On every road that I pass, I know that it would be lonely. If I don't have Jesus, it could be destructive, or even more, suicidal. I understand those who want to end their lives, really, because I think there is no eternal thing in this world. What eternal is our idea. Our invention. Our legacy.

Some people have a thousand friends. I have one. Some people are comfortable to be with. I am not. Some people have to live with their family. I have to live apart from them. Some people don't wanna die young. I don't wish to live long.

Yes, we are unique. We are far from ordinary. We are God's perfect creation. If we are born to be mediocre, then what is the point anyway? Do you feel what I feel? Maybe not.

Personal Thought: When Beauty is in the Eye of the Judges

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 11:28:00 +0000

Most of us have probably watched them. Like its commercial on TV who claimed models as "tall, thin and sexy", they are. I was not really into it, until the cable TV recently bombarded the channel with those shows about them. Not just America's Next Top Model, now we can watch similar shows every single day; expanding from America to Canada, Britain, and Australia. It's like the cable channel has no other shows.

The fact is they are addictive. These girls are not just pretty, but they have selling value. Therefore, they become great commodity for television. And somehow, after watching cycle after cycle, I can't help to feel sorry for them. I mean, who could possibly remember all those faces after a while. Modeling is an industry which based on vanity. Like miss pageant, no model could last forever. Eventually, they must find other things to do besides posing and smize-ing. Those who stand out longer than the rest, like Cindy Crawford, Claudia Schiffer, Kate Moss, Heidi Klum, or Tyra Banks, are just rare examples in this superficial dog-eat-dog world.

You may say that watching them is harmless. These shows are simply harmless and entertaining? I don't think so. Check out all of the shows and you will know why a woman would be affected by them. Almost like a brainwash, these shows are absolutely telling you the definition of "beauty". The judges would say that personality matters, but those who got eliminated were those who simply looked less attractive than the others. On one of Australia's Next Top Model episodes, one girl was being criticized because she had pimples. They have to portray themselves as sell-able, flexible, approachable, but graceful and unique at the same time. Those who have squint eyes, uneven legs or arms or legs, dyslexia, or introvert personality, must try hard to cover up those flaws. Being perfect is not an option for them. And if you see their stories, they are actually regular women with high hopes and dreams. Most of them even look unattractive without make-up. One touch of concealer and mascara... and BOOM! They become supermodels. They must sell their images. Most importantly, they must sell their bodies.

I have a friend who tried to loose weight after watching the show. She refused to eat carbs, until one day the doctors said that she was ill.

I have a friend who looks so skinny in trampy clothes. Her old friends said that she used to be fuller when she was in school, until she felt envious of those supermodel bodies and decided to eat diet pills and fast everyday. People still heard her throwing up in the toilet every now and then. I often read her cravings from twitter at night. Yes, she's skinny, but I think she needs help.

I have a former colleague who used to be a bulimic. She is too skinny now, and her face is not glowing and she always looks depressed. She thinks she is pretty now.

There are many reasons to love the shows. But there are plenty of reasons not to endorse them. I mean, until when will different countries around the world making similar show? Until what decade will tall, skinny, and high-cheek-bones define beauty? Until that trend is changed, we can't really blame those teenagers who want to be like them. Supermodels, however they are, are role models.

Don't even get me started on plastic surgery. I guess I am just sick of living in pretentious world. If everything is full of covered up, fake imagery, than how are we to know what is real anymore?

PS. However, I do like to watch Jay Manuel and Nigel Barker on ANTM. They looked sincere and kind. Nigel is a half Asian and a former model who became a photographer (her mother was the former Miss Sri Lanka; which explained why he is super cute). Hihi. But then again, maybe it's just their image on television, huh... Anything for the sake of our entertainment.

Dear Editors

noreply@blogger.com (coolz) — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 07:40:00 +0000

Dear Editors,

It has been a while since we last met. A lot of things had happened after that. Two of the most significant things were the awards I got along the way.

The first was Silver medal from Asia Pacific Advertising Festival 2010 (AdFest) last month, and the second was Bronze medal from AdStars 2010 Busan International Advertising Festival which was held today. So, here I am, the same person, only with more baggage and accomplishments. I can't wait to miss this industry.

Isn't life just full of irony?