Songs of the Salamander

Employment

2009-11-04T05:34:00.001+08:00

"The problem with you," he said, "is that you write what you want for shows that you want. This isn't about art, man. It's about getting as many shows as you can and then cashing in. It's about employment.""Okay," I replied. "I'll give you the straight dope. People like me are unemployable in the corporate sense of the word. Some of us say it's because we're free spirits or some such quasi-cosmic

Super Inggo at ang Super Tropa Trailer

2009-10-27T21:18:00.001+08:00

Airing this November!

Do You Smell What the Rock is Cookin’?

2009-10-16T16:30:00.002+08:00

Say you’re a good cook. You like cooking and whatever comes out of your kitchen brings tears of joy to men’s eyes. So, yeah, you’re a pretty awesome cook. Good for you.Well you gotta work, my friend. You gotta earn the bucks. So you try to make money out of this God-given talent by being a chef in a restaurant and cooking for other people. Fair enough. Cooking other people’s meals is a noble

Let's Not Get Carried Away Here

2009-10-05T15:20:00.003+08:00

I realize, of course, that I can draw a lot of shit from this. But what the heck. At the risk of sounding like a total douchebag…Not to diss our lingua franca, but when patriots say that the Filipino language is beautiful, I tend to ask: as opposed to what?Is there such a thing as an ugly language? Is there a standard of beauty when it comes to languages? Is it the melody? Or maybe the sibilant

PSALM 12: On the Meat Train

2009-09-25T03:21:00.002+08:00

This morning I took the train.***The bizarre thing is that I look more human than a lot of real human beings. It’s cosmic kitsch, like when Charlie Chaplin lost in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest. When you’ve lived for as long as I have, believe me, you start noticing how often these things happen. You start getting suspicious. Oh, I don’t know. That maybe there really is an Intelligent Force

Abortion

2009-09-25T03:10:00.003+08:00

My apologies for those waiting for me to continue Teeth. Yes, both of you. I grew tired of it. Probably because it was crappy. Maybe I'll get back to it some time before the Rapture. Maybe it's an abortion. I dunno. Moving on.

TEETH: Prologue

2009-09-01T23:11:00.000+08:00

There is a story that I cannot tell you simply because I’m not here to tell it and you’re not there to hear it. We’ve already moved on and left nothing, not even corpses. But that’s not right. We left our teeth scattered like pearls upon the everlasting tomb of what once was the world. A world that now lies empty as a mummy’s husk.There is a story that I cannot tell you but if I was to tell it

PSALMS 9 TO 11

2009-08-31T00:38:00.004+08:00

PSALM 9: Broken ThingsWe already have the technology to make creatures much better than ourselves. Smarter. Faster. Stronger. When we are gone and they are left to subdue the universe, will they remember us as gods? Will they think we are superior? Omnipotent? That because we made them it must follow that we also made all of Creation?Is it so unthinkable that God may turn out to be much more

PSALM 8: Flesh

2009-07-27T18:59:00.004+08:00

Chapter I: Mane, Mane, Thecel, UpharsinI pull the trigger and I murder God.Chapter II: Ecce HomoListen. Let me tell you what isn’t important:It’s not important how I scored the gun. The gun is an elemental factor. It’s a totem of destruction. It’s chaos made flesh, if you dig jive like that.It’s not important how I’m walking down this elementary school hallway, looking into classrooms, looking at

PSALMS 2 TO 7

2009-07-27T18:39:00.005+08:00

PSALM 2: CredoIf there is no God, there is no right or wrong. There are only consequences.If there is no God, there is no such thing as Justice. There is only Vengeance.PSALM 3: The Psalm of the WretchedVengeance is my shepherd, I shall not want.He maketh me rise up in bloody splendor.He leadeth me to the field of battle.He inflameth my hatred.He guideth me to smite with cruelty for his name’s

Psalm 1: The Litany of Hatred (Video)

2009-07-27T10:38:00.005+08:00

Why Do You Bother?

2009-07-13T16:20:00.004+08:00

Apologies to everyone who’s been waiting for me to update this blog. I really don’t know why you bother. There are a jillion more interesting things on the Internet.Then again, if you really do need to hear me speak out of my ass on a regular basis you can join me on Facebook. For some reason, when you search “Randy Q. Villanueva” you get my profile page. In Japanese! Weird. The name's Squid

Doggie Blowjob

2009-01-08T23:07:00.003+08:00

I'm working on a couple of things so I don't have the time for Internet bedlam but what I'm going to show you is so bizarre I just had to put it on YouTube. What the fuck indeed.

Auld Lang Syne -or- Squid Embarrasses Himself on the Internet

2009-01-03T02:20:00.004+08:00

Without further ado:Here're the lyrics in simple English:Should old acquaintance be forgot,and never brought to mind?Should old acquaintance be forgot,and old times since?For auld lang syne, my dear,for auld lang syne,we'll take a cup of kindness yet,for auld lang syne.And surely you’ll buy your pint cup!And surely I’ll buy mine!And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,for auld lang syne.For auld

Ho Ho Ho!

2008-12-25T23:10:00.006+08:00

We all have different reasons for celebrating the season. Some are honoring the birth of Christ. Others are rejoicing in the mysteries of the winter solstice. For me, this is an opportunity to remember friends, both old and new, relatives, and everyone else who have made a mark in my life. Happy Holidays, everyone!

The Call to Arms

2008-12-15T21:50:00.014+08:00

Call me a cynic if you will but despite the myriad inspirational chain emails you get from less faith-impaired friends and relatives every morning telling you how we live in a wondrous and Christ-filled world just because some interesting but nevertheless primitive book said so, it is painfully obvious that the marrow of human civilization is exploitation. Not money. Not sex. Not even the pursuit

Prize-Winning Writer Ricky Lee Set to Build 'Writers Foundation'

2008-12-11T06:31:00.008+08:00

SQUID'S NOTE: I'm up to my balls with work but this is a truly important development for film and television writers. I'm posting a copy-paste article here for now (follow the link for the original source, I obviously didn't write it) and will be talking about it till your nipples fall off tonight or tomorrow morning (talking about it, not your tits falling off). Shai-Hulud calls and I follow.

Nitpicking

2008-12-05T20:02:00.018+08:00

I don't update this blog as often as I should for a couple of reasons. The first is Super Inggo at ang Super Tropa. The second is because I have too many side projects. By "side projects" I mean playing Evil Genius on my laptop and bitching about talent fees (sometimes both at the same time). I won't apologize, though. Spending an hour translating mind spunk into a blog post that will take you

Epiphany

2008-11-07T15:28:00.011+08:00

Apologies to spike_west.GOD: Anak…SQUID: Putangina! Ehe… sori… bossing naman kasi e, ginulat mo ako e—GOD: …mahal na mahal kita…SQUID: Talaga? Maski na ilang beses na kitang minura sa Internet? Maski na gumagawa ako ng Jesus LOL pictures? May sense of humor ka pala, bossing e. Marami kasing nagsasasabi na tatamaan daw ako ng lintik dahil sa mga pinaggagawa ko sa—GOD: …minsan kahit yung problema

The Boob Tube for the Noob Part II

2008-10-13T16:21:00.009+08:00

Persistent little bugger, aren’t you? Naturally, I’m just glad for the opportunity to talk out of my ass yet again:Ever curse a network executive 'coz your idea was shot?Gods, no. I have a reputation for having a bit of a long and arrogant fang but biting the hand that feeds you because you can’t have your way is idiotic. And it’s also suicide. You can bite back if they don’t pay you what you

The Boob Tube for the Noob Part I

2008-10-09T00:19:00.012+08:00

Coffee and cigarettes philosopher Esqueleto is teaching nubile young women TV Production now, God help us. He’s put up a blog where he encourages his disciples to post their thoughts. One student posted a few questions and and here’s my two cents’ worth:Is it true that artistas are picky people; that they better have this kind of food/water or else they walk out? Are they even allowed to do that

The Coin of the Realm

2008-10-08T06:44:00.000+08:00

I can tell you I earn a hundred grand a month cranking out television scripts faster than a teenager screws. I can tell you I blow most of that moola feeding my periodic table of illegal vices. I can tell you I’d probably be earning more than that if only I didn’t spend most of my nights in bacchanalian parties where-- with a certain panache that would put Giacomo Casanova to shame-- I pick up

An Apology

2008-09-03T14:41:00.002+08:00

There are two ways to approach the matter of writing:On one hand is the path of the dilettante. You read, you write, and that’s about it. Whatever comes out of your keyboard is good enough. You show it to other dilettantes and they politely tell you that you’re quite good and that you should be doing it professionally. You get enough comments like that and you actually start believing that you’re

The Tower of Babel

2008-08-26T00:05:00.007+08:00

The Internet, indeed, is the spiritual child of the hippie generation. As this techno-cultural phenomenon further evolves beyond any single person’s hands we see the Flower Children’s DNA all over the cyberscape like a shining Mandala: a testament to humanity’s innate desire for the common good. At any given moment throughout meatspace people are uploading their art, their humor, their software,

Thou Shalt Not Post Thy Stupid Poetry on the Innurnet

2008-07-22T02:47:00.004+08:00

For lack of anything worthwhile to say to the world, I hereby assault you with bad poetry.ARKANALumapit ka kaibigan at dinggin ang kwento koNangarap ang propeta na tayo’y naging aboAnino ng diwata ay nag-aanyong apoySa tore ng tahimik may kalis ng panaghoyLumapit ka kaibigan at dinggin ang kwento koBulong-bulong sa hangin na tatangis ang mundoSa duyan ng makata ang buwitre’y hihimbingMagunaw man