Jay Leno for President

"Draft Jay Leno" Rally Draws Crowd of 225,000 Supporters

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 00:07:00 +0000

A crowd estimated at more than 225,000 people gathered early Monday afternoon in a spontaneous rally of support for the Jay Leno for President campaign. The mostly sunny afternoon provided the perfect backdrop for the speakers and rock bands who entertained the crowd while they waited patiently for Jay's appearance at the rally. Many in attendance believed that Jay would use the event to formally declare his candidacy for the presidential race. Rumors that "Jay might show up" circulated among the crowd throughout the day.

The impromptu gathering of nearly a quarter-million supporters surprised many, but Jay Leno for President campaign chairman Howard Lester seemed to take it in stride. "We knew if we mentioned it a couple times to a handful of people, word would spread quickly," Lester said. "People are so interested in Jay Leno as a potential candidate and are so eager to draft him into the presidential race that everybody would naturally want to be there. I'm just glad so many people came out."

Crowd control experts agreed that the conflagration of Jay's supporters was the largest political rally in the city's long and colorful history. "Every presidential candidate comes here to rally support, but no one's ever drawn this many people," remarked one expert who had observed the extremely well-behaved, good-looking crowd. "The largest rally we've had up to now is when Hillary Clinton came to town, and I don't think she drew more than about fifteen hundred people."

The "Let's Draft Jay Leno for President" rally, as it rapidly became known, was a family-oriented, multi-ethnic, inter-cultural, and environmentally-friendly event that seemed to thrill everyone who took the afternoon off to attend. "I love it," said a smiling mother of three, "and so do my kids. Where else can you find so many nice, friendly people in one place on a Monday afternoon. It's because of Jay, you know, he brings out the best in everybody. Don't you think so?"

"The minute we found out about this, we canceled our annual board meeting and asked all of our shareholders to come join us at the rally instead," remarked the CEO of a Fortune 500 company who asked to remain anonymous. "That turned out to be one of the best business decisions we've made all year. I mean, look at what a great time everyone's having. And the best part about it is that no one is hitting us up for campaign donations. Can you believe it? The Jay Leno for President campaign is a donation-less! Well, he's got my vote, that is, if he runs."

"There's no place we'd rather be," said one college student who marched around the rally with several other coeds carrying a homemade sign written on a bed-sheet that read "All the Way with Jay!"

As the afternoon went on, some people were curious whether Jay Leno was aware of the rally and whether he planned to attend. "We figure, sooner or later, someone will tell Jay about it," said chairman Lester during the rally, "or he'll see it on TV. Either way, it's hard to ignore such an outpouring of support, especially when most presidential candidates would gladly cut off their right arms to be able to raise a crowd half this size. But we know Jay's a smart guy and he doesn't do anything without careful thought. So, if he doesn't show up, we're sure it's all just part of his brilliant strategy for when, where, and how to make his formal announcement to run for president."

Jay's strategy seemed to be working once again Monday afternoon. Amid chants of "Where's Jay?" and "Is Jay Going to Show Up or What?", the massive crowd was finally informed by campaign officials late in the afternoon that Jay Leno still hadn't acknowledged the campaign and probably would not show up. A collective sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, but nobody seemed to take Jay's non-appearance personally.

In fact, people who'd spent as many as seven hours at the rally waiting for Jay seemed quite upbeat about it all. "Really, I had a great time," said one rally-goer as she helped pick up trash on her way out of the gathering, "and even though I would have liked to hear Jay say he's running for president in person, I'm sure he'll get to it when the time is right."

Others calmly exited the large rally sharing much the same sentiment. One twenty-something attendee summed it up by saying, "We were like oh, no, Jay's not coming, but then we were like that's okay, we'll just get some ice cream and watch him on The Tonight Show!' And everyone else was like yeah, great idea, let's go to Krogers!"

Given the success of Monday's rally, the Jay Leno for President campaign organizers are considering other rallies in the coming weeks. Perhaps simultaneous events in several cities around the country. Said campaign chairman Howard Lester, "Hey, we put this rally together in less than twelve hours with a just few announcements on the website. Imagine how many people would turn out if we gave them two or three days notice."

Media Clamors to Report Jay's Announcement

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 21:25:00 +0000

Hundreds of reporters gathered yesterday in a posh meeting room of the Beverly Hilton Hotel eagerly awaiting Jay's announcement that he will run for president. Most of them had waited for several hours, passing the time by drinking coffee from silver coffee urns, playing cards on the floor, and chatting with fellow media colleagues.Said one well-known television network newsman, "Though we weren't sure whether Jay would even show up, we certainly didn't want to miss reporting this, so we brought camera, sound, and a satellite link just in case. If he does announce his candidacy, we want to be the first, or, at least, second or third to report it to the nation."

For weeks, Jay Leno for President campaign supporters have been anticipating an announcement from Jay about his candidacy. "He hasn't acknowledged the existence of the campaign yet," said campaign chairman, Howard Lester, "but we're confident it's part of Jay's overall strategy to make sure he's on top of the heap before declaring he's running. Grassroots support at the Jay Leno for President campaign has been so enormous, it shouldn't be long before he's on top, so the wait is well worth it."

There was no indication from Jay Leno, The Tonight Show, or NBC that Jay would attend the gathering of reporters at the Beverly Hilton, nor that he would use the news conference to formally state his intentions to run for president in the 2008 race. However, political insiders believed the timing of the news conference was just right, and, as word spread rapidly among local and national news media, the rush was on to get the story.

"This may be the biggest scoop of my career," said one nationally syndicated columnist who declined to be identified. "I mean, how often does this kind of thing happen? And, besides, even if Jay doesn't show up, I still would have won sixty bucks in poker from the guys at CNN ."

While reporters were waiting for Jay to appear, most coverage of other 2008 presidential candidates in the Los Angeles area went unreported. Few reporters in the room were aware of (and even fewer were concerned about) a cross-town speech on the fiscal responsibility that was being delivered by John Edwards to the National Association of Hairdressers.

Said one veteran newswoman, who has covered many presidential campaigns, "John Edwards, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Barack Obama are all old news by this point. We all know exactly where they stand on the issues. It's just more blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda. Hell, I could report accurately on Edwards' speech without even being there. But Jay Leno running for president? Now that's news!"

By 11:00 PM (PST), it was clear that Jay wasn't going to be addressing the news conference and most of the reporters left for the day. Few seemed disappointed, however. One camera operator for a cable news station was heard to remark, "We don't mind the wait, we're getting paid either way. Besides, it's Jay Leno and he's definitely worth waiting for, whether he shows up or not."

One correspondent for the New York Times summed up the event by saying, "Even though Jay didn't show, he's still the most interesting potential candidate out there. You think these news guys would wait thirteen hours for Rudy or Hillary? Half-hour, maybe forty-five minutes tops, then gone. But everybody loves Jay. So, if we don't see him here at the news conference, we'll see him tonight on The Tonight Show. Either way, it's a win-win situation."

Support from the Right Bolsters Campaign

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 00:58:00 +0000

An unexpected comment from a prominent right wing politician has bolstered the Jay Leno for President campaign and may become the catalyst for cross-over support from the right.

"It's possible, just possible, that Jay Leno could garner support from the right wings of both the Republican and Democratic parties," said the politician, who refused to be identified during his call into a popular AM radio talk show. "If he takes the edge off the abortion and gun control jokes in his monologue, he could really sway lots of the right wing faithful to his campaign."

Jay Leno for President campaign officials were surprised by the comment, especially from such a well-known leader of the right. Though they're not sure exactly who it is, most believe it is someone pretty important.

According to campaign chairman, Howard Lester, "We've analyzed the voice over and over, and we've got it narrowed down to a few likely people. But until we know for certain, we'll just assume that whoever it is knows what he's talking about and is simply expressing the sentiment shared by everyone on the right. In any case, it's a great boost for the campaign and should be helpful in convincing Jay that support for him is strong, so he needs to declare his candidacy as soon as possible."

To date, Jay Leno has not acknowledged that he's running for president, nor has he contacted the Jay Leno for President campaign to endorse it's efforts. That fact, however, has not dampened the unbridled enthusiasm of his supporters. Said one eager grassrooter, "I'll like Jay whether he let's us draft him for president or not. But, like, he'd really make a good president, you know?"

Campaign organizers are confident that prominent support from the left will be forthcoming in the next few weeks.

Campaign Fundraising Report: Update

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 14:49:00 +0000

The Jay Leno for President campaign is right on track to position our candidate strongly for his 2008 presidential bid.

To date, the grassroots campaign has exceeded its initial goal of raising support for Jay's candidacy without raising any money or in-kind donations from political action committees.

"Our approach from the beginning was to get Jay elected president without spending a single pennny," said campaign chairman, Howard Lester. "While the other candidates raise and spend tens of millions of dollars to bamboozle the American electorate, our approach takes a man of impeccable integrity, who's already known and loved by millions, and simply puts him out there as the only logical choice for president. Who needs to spend money to do that?"

An unaudited financial analysis of the Jay Leno for President campaign conducted last week confirmed that the campaign has raised $0 and has spent the same on all efforts to date.

Political analysts and campaign think-tanks for both parties remain baffled by the viability of the Jay Leno for President campaign. Said one undisclosed expert, "How can his [Jay's] campaign continue to grow without raising or spending money? They gotta be doing something!"

Indeed we are. At the Jay Leno for President campaign, we're not raising money, we're raising consciousness. Simple word of mouth and millions of internet exchanges between ordinary Americans will do what all the money in the world can't do: Get an honest, funny man elected president.

Jay's "Lenonomics" Platform

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:11:00 +0000

In response to his Democratic and Republican challengers, the Jay Leno for President campaign has begun drafting Jay's economics platform from which his positions on the economy will be launched. Labeled "Lenonomics", the platform will compete head-to-head with Obamanomics, Clintonomics, Bidenomics, Thompsonomics, McCainomics, and other "-onomics" flipantly tacked onto candidate names.

"Fortunately for Jay, his name last name ends in an 'o' and allows 'nomics' to be added effortlessly," said campaign chaiman, Howard Lester. "I can't imagine how you'd add it to Giuliani, Huckabee, or Kucinich."

The apparent similarity between "Lenonomics" and "Leninomics" or "Lennonomics" was carefully considered by economic advisors to the Jay Leno for President campaign. "We certainly don't want voters to think Jay is basing his economic platform on the ideals of Vladimir Lenin or John Lennon. But since most Americans are not burdened by knowledge Lenin's or Lennon's writings, people will just think Lenonomics is brand new."

Though the planks of the Lenonomics platform are still under development, campaign officials promise Jay Leno will have a clear-cut position on the economy and all of the important presidential campaign issues if and when he finds out he's a candidate. Until then, he'll continue to joke about it as usual on the Tonight Show.

The Jay Leno for President campaign offered supporters a quick glimpse of the formula on which the Lenonomics platform will be based. Suggestions from other economics experts are being warmly received.

Jay's Position on the War in Iraq?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 17:35:00 +0000

Among the hundreds of e-mails received daily by the Jay Leno for President campaign, many have inquired about Jay's position on the war in Iraq. Because it has become a major presidential campaign issue for Democrats and Republicans alike, people are naturally wondering where Jay stands on the issue.

It's clear that the war is of concern to Jay. Night after night, he finds clever ways to comment on it in his monologue. If it's not a direct quip about Iraq, Jay's comments about President Bush's ineptitude and other politicians' support of or opposition to the war give most viewers a pretty clear indication of how Jay feels about it. His uncanny ability to help people find something to laugh about in the midst of such a despicable situation goes to the very heart of why we need Jay to run for president.

As for a formal position on the war, it looks like Jay is biding his time. He appears to be waiting for other presidential candidates to finish making total idiots of themselves trying to find a reasonable stand on this slippery issue. Once the "waffle factor" has been established for each of the major candidates, and their meaningless soundbites have finished anesthestizing American voters, the time will be right for Jay to let the nation know how he feels about the war in Iraq. We're confident that Jay's response will be well worth waiting for.

To date, Jay has not yet announced his candidacy or acknowledged the existence of the Jay Leno for President campaign. This appears to be part of a brilliant strategy on Jay's part to allow the support for drafting him to reach such a fevered pitch that he'll have no choice but to run (or else let down tens of millions of supporters). We'll continue to encourage support of Jay Leno as a viable presidential candidate and will track the growing juggernaut on this site.

Global Warming Spurs Jay's Grassroots Support

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 19:38:00 +0000

Global warming has become a critical national issue, yet few presidential candidates have been able to use it to mobilize their supporters beyond the level of mild concern. However, at the Jay Leno for President campaign, it is global warming itself that has ignited a terrific surge in grassroots support.

That's because as temperatures rise or heavier rains fall or bigger twisters wind their way across the country, more and more Americans are staying inside to watch The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. In their refuge from the ravages of global warming, people are being comforted, soothed, and "warmed by Jay's endless humor and wit. And millions are starting to realize that Jay Leno would make a better president than any other candidate.

Even as Al Gore was predicting that global warming would accelerate plant growth, the grassroots of the Jay Leno for President campaign were also responding to the change in political climate. Though Jay hasn't yet announced he's running or acknowledged this campaign, it's clear that a lot of people want him to do so. Global warming is a "right now" issue, and so is the need for Jay to run for president.

"It makes sense to me," said one campaign supporter, "that Jay should rise to challenge and help direct America to the answers it needs. Who better to address crucial issues, like global warming, than America's favorite late night host?"

Other supporters seem to agree as the word spreads far and wide about the Jay Leno for President campaign. "It's certainly the talk around the water-cooler," said another grassrooter, "even though these days it's really the coffee machine everyone's gathered around. I mean, who's drinking water anymore? Unless you want to count those people who are trying to cut down on their caffine, and even they're drinking juice or some kind of energy drink. Me? I usually stop off at Starbucks for a double mocha non-fat latte with extra foam."

Back to global warming. It's time for Jay to grab the steering wheel of this campaign juggernaut and point this country in the right direction. Don't you agree?

Keep the Whoopee Cushion for Barack!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 19:01:00 +0000

NBC's alleged decision to remove the whoopee cushion bit originally planned for Barack Obama's next appearance on The Tonight Show is a mistake. And though we normally don't openly criticize Jay Leno's employer, we must appeal to their sense of fun and fairness.

The time-honored tradition of producing a fart sound to make people laugh is probably the only thing that will redeem Barack in the minds of Jay's viewers. Obama's last visit was a largely forgettable affair. Despite Jay's valiant efforts to find a sustainable punchline within Obama's veneer, more than a few bored viewers clicked over to CBS in the hopes Dave might be doing something funnier to Hillary. Unfortunately, not even Dave can make Hillary funny.

A well positioned whoopee cushion, strategically placed in Jay's guest couch, would elicit the kind merriment that viewers dream of. All Jay would have to do, after introducing Obama, is to keep candidate standing for a few seconds while the applause quiets down, then, in the silence, invite Barack to take a seat....PFWEEEWWTT!

Wait, wait!!! BARACK! sounds more like a fart than PFWEEEWWTT! Ah, the laughs are sooooo built-in. If only NBC could see it that way.

It's about time NBC and the other major networks allow ordinary viewers the opportunity to hear the bodily noises of key political candidates. It humanizes them and brings them down to a level to which we can all relate. You think Jay wouldn't fart if it could get him a few extra laughs? Of course he would! And that's what separates our man from the rest. So, reconsider, NBC, reconsider!

Campaign Moves Into High Gear

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 17:15:00 +0000

The Jay Leno for President campaign announced today that it has moved into high gear.

"Fourteen months isn't very much time to get ready," said Howard Lester, chairman of the Jay Leno for President campaign. "I mean, the sheer number of candidates in the race is going to keep Jay's team of writers at NBC busy day and night until at least November 2008."

Support for Jay has been running high. The numbers are impressive. To date, there have been nearly 60 billion visits logged at websites related to entertainment or politics, the two cornerstones of the Jay Leno for President campaign.

Experts seem to agree. Said one unidentified expert, "Given Jay's undisputed popularity as the leader of late night hosts, it's only natural that people would support him as a presidential candidate. In my uninformed opinion, Jay's going to be the man to beat."

Candidates from both parties, wrapped up in their own self-absorbed presidential ambitions, aren't paying much attention to Jay's campaign.

"They [Jay's challengers] are appearing on his show as if absolutely nothing's going on," said one obscure political analyst, "and that's a big mistake for them. The more they talk about their own campaigns on Jay's show, the more people will realize that Jay Leno is the only logical choice for president."

Today's "high gear" announcement by the Jay Leno for President campaign follows last week's announcement that the campaign had moved into second gear. Keeping with Jay's love of cars, campaign officials told supporters that all future announcements will be based upon the same automobile metaphors to help keep the campaign in-tune and revved-up.

With No Knowledge of Campaign, Jay Leno Still Leads the 2008 Field

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 15:38:00 +0000

With absolutely no acknowledgement of the campaign that wants to draft him as a presidential candidate, Jay Leno is still leading the crowded field of candidates in the 2008 race for president.

According to Jay Leno for President campaign chairman Howard Lester, Jay's lead over Republican and Democratic hopefuls has remained strong, even though it appears that Leno himself is unaware of the grassroots efforts to pursuade him to run for president. "We're pretty sure Jay still hasn't heard or read anything about this campaign," Lester said, "even though there are tens of millions of people who would like to see him run."

The fact that neither Jay Leno nor NBC has called or e-mailed campaign organizers appears of little consequence. "Actually, Jay's unawareness of the campaign may be helping his chances rather than hurting them," said one political insider. "He's so popular on the national scene, given half a chance, everyone would vote for him anyway. In Jay's case, playing 'hard-to-get' might turn out to be a very effective political strategy."

Whether Jay Leno's silence is part of a political strategy or not, the Jay Leno for President campaign is confident that they will hear from him. "Our phone number and e-mail address are posted on our website," said campaign chairman Lester, "so he'll know how to get in touch with us. When that happens, we'll let his supporters know and then we can really move this campaign into high gear."

The Big Question: Is Campaign Obscurity Jay's Secret Weapon?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 14:58:00 +0000

The relative obscurity of the Jay Leno for President campaign has resulted in a surprising upsurge of support among apathetic and uninformed voters. According to a recent survey, nearly 90% of all apathetic and uninformed voters who had not heard anything about the effort to draft Jay Leno as a presidential candidate say they would support Jay Leno if he runs for president.

"This may be the first time in American politics that an undeclared, unacknowledged candidate has actually gained support among voters who know nothing about the campaign itself," remarked one prominent political historian. "Obscure presidential campaigns have historically failed due to the accompanying lack of voter interest. But, for reasons I can't explain, in the Jay Leno for President campaign, obscurity seems to be having the exact opposite effect. It's actually sparking voter interest!"

Since its launch earlier this year, the Jay Leno for President campaign has remained largely obscured by the campaigns of the leading Republican and Democratic candidates. "While they've spent tens of millions of dollars, we haven't spent a dime," said Jay Leno for President campaign chairman Howard Lester, "yet the overwhelming support we've gained confirms what we've known all along: The less people know about our campaign, the more they want to support Jay Leno for president. I know it doesn't make sense, but the facts don't lie."

Some political observers believe that the explosive growth of the Jay Leno for President campaign can be attributed to a "boomerang" phenomenon created by the other presidential campaigns. Said one, "It appears that the harder the other candidates push their weak agendas and worn-out ideas on the American people, the more people resist it and they turn to other approaches, like the Jay Leno for President campaign. With that kind of boomerang effect, it's no wonder Jay's obscure campaign is generating such an incredible amount of support."

The current obscurity of the Jay Leno for President campaign is expected to lessen whenever Jay finally declares his candidacy, or, at least, acknowledges the existence of the campaign. "Until then, we'll be patient," said campaign chairman Lester. "Either way, we're gaining millions of supporters every week, some who know about the campaign and some who don't. So whenever Jay decides to make it official, he'll have a huge basis of support from which to launch his formal campaign for president."

Stock Market Jumps After News of Jay Leno Campaign

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 14:50:00 +0000

The Dow Jones Industrial Average rose sharply after the Jay Leno for President campaign reported that it was saving its supporters $4600 each.

The momentary spike in stock prices that occurred late Tuesday morning was initially attributed to favorable news from the Federal Reserve. But upon further analysis, it was discovered that the markets were instead reacting to an article posted at the Jay Leno for President website.

"We knew millions of people were visiting our site and becoming supporters of the campaign to draft Jay as a presidential candidate," said Jay Leno for President campaign chairman Howard Lester, "but no one expected that one article could impact the stock market so favorably. I guess it makes sense that people would be taking the money our campaign is saving them and investing it in the stock market. All in all, it's another boost for our campaign."

Stock market experts were quick to see the connection between the article and the sharp rise in stock prices. Said one prominent market watcher, "It's easy to see how that article influenced the stock market. It talked about how the Jay Leno for President campaign is saving every supporter $4600 because it's a donation-less campaign. So, instead of wasting that money on a meaningless presidential campaign, those same people have it on-hand to invest in the stock market."

Tuesday's jump in stock prices marks the first time in history that the stock market has responded to news about an undeclared presidential candidate. "We're pretty impressed," said campaign chairman Lester. "Jay hasn't even acknowledged that there's an effort to draft him, yet the financial markets are incredibly sensitive to everything coming out of the Jay Leno for President campaign. It just goes to show how popular the man is with American voters and it speaks well to his chances of actually being elected president."

Presidential candidates from both parties have remained silent on the issue of the Jay Leno for President campaign, though most political analysts view their silence as proof that they're very concerned. "Can you imagine how worried they all are about Jay Leno?" said one unidentified commentator. "Here's a guy who shakes the stock market with a simple article on the internet and he hasn't even declared he's running. America's never seen a non-candidate with that kind of influence. So, yes, the others running for president are worried, very worried."

Hot Dog Eating Contests Creating Quite a Stir on the Campaign Trail

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 17:42:00 +0000

Hot dog eating contests are creating quite a stir along the presidential campaign trail these days. Major presidential hopefuls from both parties, clamoring for photo opportunities, have been spotted at several major contests over the past week, sparking speculation that the candidates are running out of mainstream supporters and are seeking fresh voters from whom they can leach campaign funds.

Jay Leno for President campaign chairman Howard Lester has been following this unusual development to gauge its impact on the campaign to draft Jay as a presidential candidate. "Frankly (no pun intended), this sudden candidate interest in hot dog eating contests looks like a good thing for our campaign," Lester said. "It just shows how desperate the Democrats and Republicans are getting in their quest for money. What they don't realize, and what I'm not going to tell them, is that Jay Leno actually enjoys a higher level of support among hot dog eaters than all of the presidential candidates put together."

A recent survey confirms what Jay Leno supporters have known for years: Hot dog eaters, both contestants and spectators, naturally love and support Jay Leno. The scientifically based survey, published in a leading journal, was conducted over a two-year period and randomly polled 5000 people. When asked who they think about most while eating a hot dog, more than 86% responded that they think of Jay Leno. Of the remaining 14%, only 6% said that they thought of any of the 2008 presidential candidates, with 4% of those saying they think of Dennis Kucinich.

Political analysts are baffled by the sudden interest in hot dog eating contests among the presidential candidates. Said one prominent analyst, "I simply cannot understand why Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson, and the others are spending so much time and money attending these meaningless events. Don't they realize that Jay Leno has that segment of voters in his hip pocket?"

Jay Leno for President campaign supporters certainly realize it. Campaign organizers in at least seven states have invited frankfurter vendors to their rallies and Oscar Meyer's Weenermobile was recently spotted at a campaign picnic in Dubuque, Iowa. Unsolicited offers of free hot dogs for Jay Leno supporters have also come into campaign headquarters, but have been respectfully refused. "We've got to stay true to our campaign mission to raise consciousness, not money," campaign chairman Lester said, "and that goes for hot dogs, too."

To date, Jay Leno has not yet announced his candidacy for president, nor has he acknowledged the existence of the Jay Leno for President campaign. "We're still waiting for the 'go-ahead' from Jay Leno or NBC, and we really expect that any day now," said one senior campaign organizer. "Perhaps this whole hot dog thing will convince them that now's the time."

Donation-less Campaign Saves Jay Supporters $4,600 Each

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 18 Aug 2007 15:24:00 +0000

While Jay Leno's Republican and Democratic challengers continue to squeeze their supporters dry to fund multi-million dollar campaign war chests, the Jay Leno for President campaign is saving its supporters $4,600 each.

According to federal campaign laws, individuals may contribute up to $4,600 to a presidential candidate (with a maximum of $2,300 going to the primary election and $2,300 to the general election). By running a donation-less campaign, in which no money will be raised or spent to get Jay elected president, his supporters enjoy what other candidates' backers are sorely missing: The financial windfall of not having to contribute a dime to an election campaign.

"Our donation-less campaign is the first time in America presidential politics that supporters save money before their candidate even gets elected," said Howard Lester, chairman of the Jay Leno for President campaign. "Every candidate says they'll save people money with tax cuts and other empty promises, if they're ever elected. Meanwhile, they're costing their supporters thousands of dollars each with absolutely no guarantee they can even win. It costs Jay Leno's supporters nothing to back their candidate. That's something we can all be proud of."

The credo of the Jay Leno for President campaign is: We're out to raise consciousness, not money. For that simple reason alone, there's no "Donation" button on this site, nor any vehicle whatsoever for collecting or disbursing campaign funds. In fact, after nearly three months, and millions of supporters, our campaign war chest is still bone dry.

Of course, it would be a cinch for Jay to raise money, if and when he finds out about the Jay Leno for President campaign. He knows lots of rich people. But, if he's the kind of candidate we know he is, and if he knows we're the kind of supporters we know he knows we are, when he finally declares his candidacy, we're certain of one thing: Jay'll will want to continue the strategy of building support without relying on money to do it.

That simple, humble quality of Jay Leno, the man, will make him shine even brighter as a presidential candidate in the hearts and minds of American voters.

Jay's Reaction to Rove's Resignation Seen as Politically Brilliant

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 16:40:00 +0000

In a brilliant political maneuver, Jay Leno reacted to President Bush’s announcement that his senior advisor, Karl Rove, will resign at the end of the month by airing a re-run of The Tonight Show Monday night.

Jay Leno for President campaign chairman Howard Lester said that NBC must be paying attention to the campaign to draft Jay as a presidential candidate, or they never would have responded as they did. "It's clear that the release of Rove's resignation was timed to take the focus off Bush's dismal handling of the war in Iraq and his failed domestic policy," Lester said. "While every presidential candidate and media outlet is busy feasting on the Rove story, no one's paying any attention to what a horrible president George Bush still is, with or without Rove's counsel. I'm glad Jay Leno and NBC did the right thing by not pandering to Bush's little ploy. Airing a re-run was the perfect response."

Political analysts, following both the Rove resignation story and Jay Leno's reaction to it, agree with the actions taken by NBC. "Airing a re-run on the same day as Rove's resignation announcement was the right thing to do," said one well-known analyst. It sends the right message at the right time."

"A pretty shrewd move by the Jay Leno folks," commented another political expert, "plus it gives the joke-writers a few more days to craft some real zingers."

Some Jay Leno for President campaign supporters see this latest response to current events by NBC as a sign that the network is warming to the idea of Jay becoming a presidential candidate. Said one grassroots supporter from Spokane, "NBC gotta get behind the Jay Leno for President campaign sooner or later. I mean, how can they ignore the fact that millions of people would rather have Jay as president than anyone else?"

Campaign chairman Lester sees all roads leading to an eventual declaration of candidacy by Jay Leno. "Though he still hasn't acknowledged the Jay Leno for President campaign," Lester said, "it's more obvious than ever that both Jay and NBC are paying a hell of a lot of attention to it. My guess is that they're just waiting until the right moment for Jay to make the announcement. Who knows, maybe it'll happen tonight!"

Jay's "Cleavage" Sparks Little Controversy

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 19:12:00 +0000

Hillary's not the only one facing the cleavage issue. A letter received by the Jay Leno for President campaign contained a picture of Jay in an open shirt that sat low on his chest and had a subtle V-shape. "It's cleavage," the anonymous sender proclaimed, "not an unseemly amount, but there it is!"

Sure enough, under additional examination with a magnifying glass, Jay Leno for President organizers noticed a distinct plunging neckline that appeared to reveal the "fuller" portion of Jay's chest.

"We can't deny it," said Jay Leno for President campaign chairman Howard Lester, "because there it is. But to call it 'cleavage' on a man, especially on one with Jay's generally acceptable, yet impeccably attired, physique is really pushing it. I can't believe Jay's opponents are stooping so low as to poke fun at his anatomy. It just goes to show how worried they are about him possibly declaring that he's going to run for president."

Though Jay Leno himself has not publicly commented on the picture, many political experts agree that the photo might actually boost Jay's overall popularity. Said one prominent campaign analyst, "Jay's quiet aplomb in handling this 'cleavage' issue by not commenting on it, nor paying it any acknowledgement at all, is a strong reminder to people about the kind of candidate Jay Leno could be in this campaign. When Hillary finally confirmed to the public that she actually has boobs, it derailed her rhetoric for weeks. But, you've got to admit, that was better than having to listen to everything else she was saying."

Another political expert summed up the general mood of most Americans by saying, "Sooner or later Jay's going to make a quick joke about all this and the issue will evaporate completely. That's the difference between between Jay Leno and those other deadbeats."

Jay Leno for President campaign workers have been busy surfing the Internet non-stop since the anonymous letter arrived, searching for any other revealing or compromising pictures of Jay. "We don't want to be taken by surprise," remarked chairman Lester, "so we're gathering every sordid picture of Jay we can find, real or re-touched. Then, we'll take the initiative and publish them first to prove that, as a candidate, Jay will have nothing to hide and certainly nothing to be ashamed of showing in public."

Jay Leno has not yet acknowledged the existence of the campaign to draft him as a presidential candidate, but supporters are convinced that his silence is part of a brilliant personal strategy to enter the campaign at the very apex of his popularity. Campaign organizers are expecting contact from Jay Leno or NBC sometime within the next few weeks.

Jay's Position on Energy, Environment Revealed in Popular Mechanics Article

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 15:33:00 +0000

Jay Leno's position on two key presidential campaign issues, energy and the environment, were revealed to the public in an article he wrote for the September 2007 issue of Popular Mechanics Magazine. His comments in PM's Jay's Green Garage series mark one of the few times during the campaign Jay has spoken out on the issues, sparking speculation that he may be inching closer to a formal declaration of his intention to run for president.

In the article entitled "Blowin' In The Wind," Jay demonstrated how he is leading by example, doing his part for energy conservation and the environment, by installing wind-driven turbines to generate electrical power for his garage near the San Gabriel mountains in California. The article gave PM readers and Jay Leno for President supporters a first-hand glimpse of Jay's personal commitment to solving this country's problems. It also shows the kind of leadership we can expect if this concerned and dedicated man becomes president.

"None of the other presidential candidates have put in wind-powered generators, super-efficient water heaters, or environmentally-friendly parts washers at their garages," remarked Jay Leno for President campaign chairman Howard Lester. "Jay's a man who's taking action on the environment and energy-conservation, he's not just talking about it. While Jay's spending tens of thousands of dollars of his own money at his facility to personally help improve the environment and cut energy consumption, Hillary, Mitt, Barack, and the others are busy spendings millions of dollars of other people's money to fund campaigns in which they just talk about it. So in a contest of talk versus action, doesn't that make Jay Leno the obvious choice?"

As the owner of a huge collection of classic and antique cars, Jay Leno has been a featured writer for Popular Mechanics, contributing his automotive views and ideas to millions of PM readers every month. Sharing his thoughts on the environment is nothing new for Jay. Several previous articles have detailed other initiatives Jay has taken at his large garage to do his part for the environment. But, the September PM article went further on the issue, an indication that Jay is sensitive to the feelings of his supporters and might soon accept their draft of him as a presidential candidate.

Acknowledging that there are people who believe in doing something about global warming and those who don't, Jay's own efforts with generating wind-powered electricity provide a solution that's good for both. Jay said it best in the PM article: "Either way, you're doing a good thing: Saving the environment and striving to be more self-sufficient, which is an important goal for all Americans."

Campaign Seeks Letterman's Endorsement

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 14:57:00 +0000

In a bold and unprecedented political move, the Jay Leno for President campaign is seeking the endorsement of Jay's candidacy from David Letterman. After the post The 10 Top Reasons Letterman Should Support Jay's Bid appeared recently, the overwhelmingly positive feedback from supporters immediately caught the attention of campaign organizers.

"There's no doubt that an endorsement from Jay's late night rival could add a terrific boost to our campaign," said Jay Leno for President campaign chairman, Howard L. "Dave's got everything to gain and nothing to lose by lending his support to Jay's bid for the White House. It would be good for the country and good for comedy. Who knows, it might even land Dave a Cabinet post, like Secretary of Defense, or some other token of appreciation."

The Jay Leno for President campaign is "pulling out all the stops" to obtain David Letterman's endorsement. E-mails have been sent, voice-mails left, and a few idle grassroot supporters are hanging around the Ed Sullivan Theatre in New York in the hopes of running into the affable host of The Late Show.

"Neither David Letterman nor his representatives at CBS have stopped to talk to us yet," said one of the grassroooters from his lawn chair in front of The Late Show's Broadway venue. "But that's okay because we don't have anything else to do anyway."

Most political experts believe that it's just a matter of time until Jay acknowledges the existence of the Jay Leno for President campaign and formally declares his candidacy. They also predict that David Letterman's endorsement will follow shortly thereafter, along with endorsements from other late night talk show hosts.

Efforts are also underway to obtain the endorsement of radio talk-show host, Larry King, though none of the campaign organizers will openly admit to it.

SiCKO Health Care Card Draws Speculation About Jay's Healthcare Platform

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 20:16:00 +0000

Jay Leno's acceptance of a large SiCKO Health Care Card from independent film maker Michael Moore has generated considerable speculation about Jay's possible health care platform when and if he decides to run for president.

Jay received the SiCKO card during Michael Moore's appearance on The Tonight Show last week. NBC allocated a large part of the show to Jay's interview with Moore about his wildly popular new film, SiCKO, a documentary about the problems of America's health care system.

Through a series of in-depth questions, Jay Leno demonstrated his considerable grasp of entire health care debate. Many believe his mastery of this highly complex campaign issue is indicative of Jay's broader desire to personally do something about it, like run for president.

"It's clear to us that Jay Leno is concerned about the health care crisis that exists in this country today," said Jay Leno for President campaign chairman Howard Lester. "Look at how deftly he interviewed Michael Moore. And this isn't the first time Jay positioned himself on the issue. Why, the last time Moore was on his show, Jay offered a poignant personal story about the medical care received by his mother-in-law. How much more do a Americans need to know about Jay Leno's position on healthcare? None of the Democratic or Republican presidential candidates can touch the hem of Jay's pants on this issue."

During his Tonight Show interview last week, Moore encouraged viewers to obtain the SiCKO Health Care Card and use it whenever problems occur with insurance companies, doctors, or hospitals. "Anytime they give you any grief, your insurance company, whatever, you just whip this [card] out and say, 'how would you like to Michal Moore's next movie or on the DVD of SiCKO?' And if you're denied coverage, it'll provide coverage in a Michael Moore film."

Obama Calls for a Leader Like Jay Leno

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 15:45:00 +0000

Some might call it a "backdoor" endorsement, but Barack Obama's call for a leader who can unite the country seems to point directly to Jay Leno.

Speaking at the College Democrats of America convention at the University of South Carolina, Obama said, "The experience we need in the next president is the ability to bring this country together." Obama supporters assumed he was talking about himself, but most political analysts say the remark was referring to abilities of Jay Leno.

"It's clear that Obama was talking about Jay Leno as the 'uniter' America needs in the White House," said one long-time observer. "Nothing unites us better as a nation than simple laughter, and Jay's been doing that night after night for fifteen years on The Tonight Show. How long as Obama been in the public spotlight, a few years? And when did he ever make anyone laugh?"

Is Jay Leno really the uniter Obama was referring to? Jay Leno for President campaign chairman Howard Lester thinks so, though Obama might not have realized it when he said it. "It's like I've said all along," Lester remarked, "the more these candidates say about what America needs in a president, the more they're endorsing the kind of qualities we all know Jay Leno can bring to the White House. In any side-by-side comparison of Jay to the presidential candidates out there, Jay wins hands-down in the areas of integrity, compassion, intelligence, honesty, and, most importantly, likeability. What more could we as Americans ask for?"

Though Jay Leno has not yet acknowledged the Jay Leno for President campaign, nor has his staff or NBC confirmed his intentions to run for president, most grassroots supporters believe he will ultimately allow himself to be drafted as a presidential candidate. Said campaign chairman Lester, "The Obama remarks are great for our campaign because they add further credence to the idea of Jay Leno as a presidential candidate. I'm confident Jay and the folks at NBC are taking note on the impact our grassroots campaign is having on the 2008 presidential race. I think we'll be hearing from them soon."

Jimmy Kimmel as Jay's VP? Hmmm....

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 14:07:00 +0000

A recent e-mail received by the Jay Leno for President campaign caught the attention of campaign organizers and prompted lively discussion about the possibility of Jimmy Kimmel as a vice presidential running-mate whenever Jay formally enters the race for the White House.

The short e-mail message, from confirmed Jay Leno for President supporter James K., suggested that Kimmel would make an excellent vice presidential candidate and would only strengthen a campaign that many have labeled a "juggernaut" of grassroots support.

"It's an interesting idea," remarked Jay Leno for President campaign chairman Howard Lester. "Jimmy's gotten so popular over such a short period of time, he might be good for the job. He's bright, witty, and funny, the kind of attributes Americans want in their elected leaders, but have never gotten. He obviously doesn't have the depth of experience that Jay has, but by working under Jay, he'd only get better."

A leading political analyst agrees: "Vice presidents don't have very much to do on a daily basis, so Kimmel would have plenty of time to polish his skills as viable back-up to Jay Leno. Were something to happen to Jay while he's president, such as a Las Vegas showdate, Jimmy could probably step right in and handle things until Jay returned. Jimmy Kimmel as vice president really isn't such a bad idea."

Though Jay Leno has not yet acknowledged the growing campaign to draft him as a presidential candidate, interest in Jimmy Kimmel as a vice presidential candidate on a Jay ticket could get his attention. As Howard Lester points out, "Once Jimmy starts talking about this on ABC, the folks at NBC are sure to take notice. Then, it's only a matter of time until they let Jay know about it and we'll be in business."

The Top Ten Reasons Letterman Should Support Jay's Bid

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 21:32:00 +0000

Listen up Dave Letterman. Here are tonight's top ten reasons why you should support Jay Leno's bid for president:

10. Every vote for Leno puts Conan O'Brien further behind the eight-ball.

9. Once Jay's gone, Paul Shaeffer can pick up Kevin Eubanks for a song.

8. Dave will finally get first dibs on those idiotic Michael Jackson jokes.

7. Dave can trade-in his Big Apple digs for a place in beautiful downtown Burbank.

6. With Jay as president, Dave's barbs on the oval office can finally be taken personally.

5. Without Jay, advertisers will flock to Dave's show.

4. Hard-to-get guests will have no choice but to appear on the Late Night Show.

3. NBC will finally suffer for their decision not to put Dave in Johnny's place.

2. Jay might actually make a pretty damn good president.

1. Once Jay's president, people will have no choice but to watch David Letterman.

Dems, GOP Candidates Raise $675 Million, But Still Trail Jay in Popularity

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 14:06:00 +0000

With more than a year to go before the 2008 elections, Democratic and Republican candidates have raised over $675 million in campaign contributions, yet none can claim the popularity that Jay Leno enjoys...and he hasn't even entered the race.

According to Jay Leno for President campaign chairman Howard Lester, the grassroots campaign to draft Jay Leno as a presidential candidate has raised no money at all, but interest in Jay as a candidate has never been higher. "Visits to our website have gone through the roof and we haven't spent a dime," Lester said. "Each night, tens of millions of people watch Jay on The Tonight Show awaiting his announcement that he's going to join the race. They absolutely love the idea of Jay Leno running for president. What presidential candidates out there have that kind of appeal?"

Political media experts are still baffled by the outpouring of support for drafting Jay Leno as a presidential candidate. "We know Jay's a popular entertainer," said one unidentified advisor on political advertising to the Mitt Romney campaign, "but the fact that so many people want him to run for president, too, is inexplicable. Do you know how much money we'd have to spend to build that kind of popularity? Billions."

As total campaign contributions approach the billion dollar mark among the presidential hopefuls of both parties, the contrast between the Jay Leno for President campaign and other campaigns is growing more stark. "For every dollar they raise and spend that we don't," explained Howard Lester, "they're proving just how out-of-whack our whole system of presidential elections has become."

"We've spent no money and Jay's more popular than ever. In fact, he hasn't even acknowledged our campaign to draft him. But the Democrats and Republicans will probably spend $2 billion and the best they'll be able to give us is another mediocre president. That's why so many people are joining the campaign to draft Jay Leno: Americans simply can't stomach another mediocre president."

Thousands Gather in New Hampshire in Anticipation of Jay's Announcement

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 18:28:00 +0000

Several thousand supporters of the Jay Leno for President campaign gathered in Manchester, New Hampshire Saturday afternoon in anticipation of the announcement millions have been waiting for since the campaign was first launched earlier this year.

As one of the first states traditionally visited by presidential candidates, New Hampshire was the logical choice for a formal declaration of Jay Leno's candidacy, if he decided to enter the race. So it was no surprise that the square in the middle of downtown Manchester filled quickly when it was learned that an announcement might be in the works.

"We really expected that Jay would use this gathering of intelligent, good-looking supporters to announce his candidacy," said Jay Leno for President campaign chairman Howard Lester. "All the media was already there after reporting on the visits to New Hampshire by other Republican and Democratic hopefuls, so we didn't have to do very much to prepare, except send out a few e-mails. What a great day for the campaign."

A series of local politicians spoke about their interest in the Jay Leno for President campaign and their desire to ride whatever coat-tails might be available. Said one unidentified state representative, "I didn't even know there was a campaign to try to draft Jay Leno as a candidate. If I had, I wouldn't have spoken so enthusiastically about Barack Obama when he was here."

Indeed, a number of local dignitaries were surprised by the large turnout. "When the first couple of hundred people set up their lawn chairs on the square, I thought something really special must be going on," remarked one local politico. "And when the crowd grew to thousands, I realized it was going to be big."

It's not clear whether Jay Leno actually knew about the Manchester crowd or whether he had planned to attend. "We figure Jay's tracking the campaign's progress on a pretty regular basis, so he'd know probably know about it." said Howard Lester. "We naturally figured he'd be there to announce his candidacy, and so did lots of other people."

When the news came late in the afternoon that Jay Leno would not be there, the Jay Leno for President campaign implemented a contingency plan they had for just such a situation. "We asked a guy who looks a lot like Jay to tell the crowd that the real Jay Leno was still in California and wouldn't be there," Lester explained. "Nobody seemed too disappointed and, after he did about ten minutes of some pretty good Jay Leno impersonations, the crowd gave him a standing ovation. Once again, Jay Leno didn't show up and it didn't bother anyone. Now that's support!"

As the highly enthusiastic crowd dispersed from the square, the popularity of the Jay Leno for President campaign appeared greater than ever. "This was amazing," said one Jay supporter, while heads nodded in agreement all around her. "We knew Jay hasn't acknowledged our campaign yet and might not show up. But that doesn't bother us. After all, it's Jay Leno! He knows what he's doing. If he doesn't announce his candidacy here in New Hampshire, we know he'll do it somewhere else. When you love Jay, things like that just don't matter."

Other Jay Leno for President rallies in several primary states are also planning for appearances by Jay, and no one appears too concerned about whether or not he'll actually attend any of them. Said one Midwest rally organizer, "We're there for Jay whether he's there or not. How many presidential candidates have ever been able to say that about their supporters?"

Supporters to Jay: "It's Time to Announce You're Running for President!"

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 14:24:00 +0000

Thousands of e-mails to the Jay Leno for President campaign raised a new hue and cry from supporters: "It's time for Jay to announce his candidacy!"

The e-mails, mostly sent from west coast locations, appear to be part of a coordinated effort by a large group of enthusiastic campaign supporters to urge Jay Leno to declare that he's running for president. While most supporters have waited patiently for Jay to make his announcement, an increasing number are anxious to hear him declare his candidacy sooner than later.

"I think Jay's supporters are watching the Democratic and Republican candidates closely and realize the political climate is getting better and better for a Jay Leno candidacy," said Jay Leno for President campaign chairman Howard Lester. "McCain's campaign is faltering, Hillary's wasting time with some Pentagon aide, and the other candidates are continuing to bore the hell out of everyone who watches them on TV or the Internet. For many of Jay's supporters, especially those on the west coast, the time just feels right for the kind of humor and entertainment that only Jay Leno can bring to a presidential race."

Jay Leno for President campaign organizers considered forwarding the e-mails from supporters to NBC but decided against it. "We're pretty sure NBC deletes every e-mail they receive, as no one has ever gotten a response back from them, so we don't think it would do much good," said the campaign's webmaster. "Besides, the other candidates are e-mailing out so much crap we don't want our message of hope to get tossed into the 'delete bin' along with the others."

As the groundswell of support for a Jay Leno presidential bid continues, the campaign is awaiting Jay's acknowledgement of its efforts, followed by a formal announcement that he's joining the race for the White House. "We're confident he'll be tossing his hat in the ring," added Howard Lester, "it's just a matter of time. One thing we all know about Jay Leno is that he's acutely tuned-in to his audience whenever he appears in front of them. Considering the tens of millions who are gathering in the 'draft Jay Leno' audience, it's no wonder he's taking his time to prepare his announcement. And when that happens, look out America!"