I asked Ty one day if I would ever stop missing her.

And as I sit here still waiting to miscarry, other thoughts plague me.  When I wrote Enjoying YOUR Quiverfull, it was something I needed to hear.  I still need to hear it.  I still find myself wanting more children in an unhealthy way.  A way that seeks to “replace” the one I lost.

Because I never will stop missing her.

And I will NEVER have the right amount of children. (<— and that post still makes me cry)

And truthfully, I don’t feel like a large family.  I am facing my second miscarriage in a row and I wonder if the Lord will ever bless again and I know I can never bring the one back that would bring my number of living children to 7 (which somehow sounds so much “larger” than 6) and I wonder am *I* enjoying MY Quiverfull?  And do I have any validity when it comes to talking about being a large family.  There are multitudes out there with many, many more children than I have who could give you much better advice on running a large family household.  Who am I?  But, there I go again…playing the numbers game.

It’s been a rough few months leading up to the 4th anniversary of Emily’s passing.  Some days I am an emotional train wreck.  (I can say that and know that you will all still love me.)  But, the moments of wreckage come and go and for the most part, I am fully sane and mostly functioning (although the pregnancy hormones have done a number on my sacroiliac joint and my blood sugar).

And I refuse to live a life of wreckage.

Emily’s life and death are not the end.  Everything that happens to me while on this earth is not the end.  It makes no sense as a Christian to spend my life looking back and considering all that is behind me as wreckage.  All that is behind me has created the path that is before me.  And it is a good path…God says so.

I just have to keep walking.

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Then we moved to the city.

And despite the fact that I thought I would never forget and never fit in, before long that country girl got lost in the concrete and life felt a lot like rush hour traffic.  I didn’t seem to have time anymore.

Now I know the city didn’t time warp me.  There were other factors too, but already only a few days into our life back in the country I can feel time slowing.

The other day we worked in the asparagus patch – getting it ready for the new growth (I am so excited about having fresh asparagus!).  I’ve been researching what I need to do to take care of the fruit trees on the property.  I’ve started my compost bucket underneath the kitchen sink and I’m hoping to get a hold of some shipping palettes to make my compost bin outside (mine isn’t going to look as nice as the one in the link!).  Due to my poor health right now, I’ve been determined to return to eating whole foods and more raw foods – something I had no trouble doing when we lived in rural areas.  We’ve been taking in the local wildlife, looking forward to spring, and exploring the property in our spare time!

And I finally feel like I have time again.

It seems like a strange phenomena to me.  How did the city ever manage to suck this life out of me?  Surely I cannot blame the city for all of this.  However, I think the city can cause a person to lose their resourcefulness.  Most of my life I lived in places that required me to drive long distances for resources, so much of my life was spent finding ways to make do with what I had.  Making do creates a person who is resourceful and typically more content.  I have struggled with contentment for years (which is why I write about it so often here…I NEED to hear it too!)

Obviously, not everyone can run out and get a house in the country.  And obviously living in the country will not automatically create contentment and add hours to your day.  I sincerely believe you can bloom and thrive in the city, learn to be resourceful in the city, and even find more time in the city! 

So,this is my challenge to you – if you live in the country, GREAT – I would love to hear how you spend your time and how you are resourceful; and if you live in the city, GREAT – I would love to hear how you are being purposeful about your time and how you are living a life of contentment there!

And I really hope you don’t mind me rattling on about living in the country and all the things I’m relearning – this has truly been one of life’s “Aha” moments for me and I can’t help but share it with all of you!

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And now she has an ebook!

28 Days to Hope for Your Home isn’t a how-to book full of cleaning tips that only serve to overwhelm you.  It is a book that helps explain you, show you how to work with who you are to create habits that stick…for good!

And the best part is that Nony isn’t some cleaning expert who doesn’t have a clue what it’s like to be you.  She’s a mom who has struggled all her life with being messy and is finally finding her way out of the vicious cycle!

So, buy your copy today for half price – only $4.00!

Click here!

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Don’t own any, but would like to?

Here’s your chance!

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If reading via email or feed reader, click over to the post on Raising Arrows to enter!

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This weekend we officially made the move from our rental in the suburbs to a country home nearby.

It’s been a breath of fresh air…literally!

You see, these are my roots. I grew up the daughter of a farmer, living in a small town, picking sandhill plums and listening to bird calls. Life was slower-paced and I liked it that way.

While I don’t have the time this week to really expound on why this truly will be a return to my roots and even a new learning experience for me, I wanted to give you a quick preview of what you might expect here in the coming weeks…

• relearning country life
• working on a huge garden
• exploring the property (all 100 acres!)
• considering the doable-for-me aspects of sustainable living
• looking through some of my old books that might be helpful (listed below)
• and taking all of you along for the ride!

It’s good to be home!

Speaking of home, this week’s Welcome Home Link Up is brought to you by my dear friend, Tonya who is hosting a book study of The Hidden Art of Homemaking!  I’ll be quietly following along with my own copy as we settle in.  Check it out here

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When eight people live together in a house, it often gets messy very quickly!  Our home is especially susceptible to this on the weekends.  It could be because we are busier and out of our routine or it could be because we don’t want to take the time to pick up after ourselves.  Regardless of why, we sometimes need to have a “Reclaim the House” session, where we all work together as quickly as possible to get the house back under control.

Tonight, while we were “reclaiming”, I was hand washing all of the dishes that wouldn’t fit into the dishwasher, while my 6 year old daughter helped to dry them.  She is normally my slow worker, the one who HATES anything that even resembles a chore.  She usually finds a reason to delay working by saying she’s hungry right as soon as I announce that we need to get busy.  This time was different though.  This time, she was excited, because she was encouraged to work right alongside of mommy.   I was excited because I had the privilege of encouraging her to be a harder worker by complementing her work.  She totally ate it up!  It was a way that I could fill her love tank and help her to enjoy being a hard worker all while bringing us closer.

That had me thinking about a recent quote that I read.  I wish I could find it now, but it went something like this:  ”The more quality time you spend with your children while they’re young, the more they’ll want to be around you when they grow up”.  It’s all about spending quality time.

Do you spend quality time with your children?  I know I’m guilty of spending too much time in front of the computer while they’re off doing something else.  I’m also guilty of sending them away to do a chore, while I’m off doing another chore.  How much more valuable that time would be if we spent it working together.  We could talk about anything important to them, laugh and make it into a fun game.  They will remember their mother as someone who they like to be around.  You will be someone who makes them feel special.  They will grow up wanting to be around you!  I understand that it’s not always possible to be right next to your children when you have them assigned to a job, but I do think that we can make a more conscious effort to do so.

In addition to cleaning together, here are some ideas of how we can spend more time with our children:

• Play a game .
• Read a book
• Do a puzzle
• Take them out for a meal one on one
• Go out for dessert
• Set aside so much time per day to talk (especially important with older children)
• Do a craft
• Cook dinner (rotate in a child to help you each day)
• Volunteer together outside of your home
• Let one child at a time go to the store with you

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On the long car ride home, I looked back to see my oldest daughter sleeping soundly while my youngest child pulled her hair, pinched her nose, and stuck his hand over her mouth.  When his antics finally roused her from her deep slumber, she looked him in the eye and said,

You little stinker!

Awww, sibling love!

Sometimes it looks like two boys tumbling over each other in a wrestling match.  Sometimes it looks like two girls whispering through bunk beds late at night.  Sometimes it looks like a little brother standing at the door waiting for his big brother to come home.  Sometimes it looks like a big sister scratching a little brother’s back.

The sibling relationships around here aren’t perfect, but they aren’t what most people consider the norm either.  My children actually like each other!

In an effort to foster the sibling relationships in our home, Ty and I have done a few things that we’d like to share with you in the hopes that you too can reap some long-lasting deeply-bonded sibling relationships between your children.

Don’t dwell on the negative.  Our society expects terrible sibling relationships.  In fact, I believe traditional school even encourages enmity between siblings by separating them and inadvertently teaching them that anyone not their same age is not worth spending time with.  It simply is not “cool” to hang out with your siblings.  If we buy into this and foster this negative outlook on siblings, we end up encouraging strife as a norm.

Don’t build walls.  We have one child who flies off the handle easier than the others.  At one point, I made the mistake of focusing in on that with the other siblings nearby.  It took me a long time to remedy that.  No, she shouldn’t fly off the handle, but my job as mom isn’t to call her out in front of her siblings, but rather to take her aside and guide her back to reconciliation with them.  If I am constantly pointing out the faults of one sibling in front of another, I will build walls I will eventually be unable to tear down.

Make “togetherness” the norm.  While we do allow our children their own space, we do not encourage them to spend massive amounts of time doing their “own thing.”  We do take our children out separately on occasion, but more often than not, another sibling comes along.  And more often than not, they WANT another sibling to come along.

Talk about their bond.  Since losing Emily, we talk to our girls a lot about how they are the only sisters they have and how important it is that they foster that relationship.  We don’t do it in a preachy way, just a matter-of-fact way.  We talk about how perhaps one day one of the brothers will work with another brother.  It might never happen, and we certainly don’t expect it, but there is no harm in building that bond with our words.

Encourage their similarities.  My children are all so different, but they also have similar likes and interests that I believe deserve to be encouraged as a way to build that bond between siblings.  All too often, we focus on differences and forget the lovely similarities that exist too.  However, that brings me to my final point…

Complementary rather than comparison.  Siblings are often far more different than the same, but rather than make that a comparison or a black and white contrast, find ways to show them how those difference work together within the dynamics of the family.  My oldest is a talkative planner while the next sibling in line is the quiet, creative type.  He plans trips while she takes the photos and journals her way through vacation.  Together, they offer a complimentary benefit to the family.  So, rather than making sibling differences insurmountable, we choose to point out ways each siblings strengths compliment the rest of the family’s strengths.

It’s all about strengthening, encouraging, and loving the individuals who make up the community you call a family!

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As homeschool convention season approaches, you can almost feel the tension in the air.  Homeschooling families everywhere are reevaluating everything they have taught the previous year and trying to decide if it was effective, good enough, or a total failure.

And many feel just plain confused.

Today, I want to offer you a few resources to lessen your confusion!

Start Here:  Homeschooling with Purpose Series (this series gives you an eternal perspective!)

Before the Convention:
Curriculum Evaluation from an Eternal Perspective Worksheet

Create a Homeschool Convention Notebook

At the Convention:
Surviving the Vendor’s Hall

Surviving the Speaker Sessions

Other resources:
Peace Creek on the Prairie Convention Forms

Curriculum Fair Survival Tips from Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers

How to Make an Overall Plan for the Year from Curriculum Choice by Barb at Harmony Art Mom

Tips from My Very First Homeschool Convention from Angie at The Homeschool Classroom

Preparing for a Homeschool Convention from Betty at Peace Creek on the Prairie

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While we are not a true unit studies homeschooling family, we do like to supplement from time to time.  One way I like to supplement is with A Journey Through Learning products.  If you remember a few months ago, I told you how I was using their Little House on the Prairie lapbooking binder with my younger children.

Recently, I was introduced to a brand new product from AJTL (who will be at the Teach Diligently Convention, by the way!) called DigiFolios.  These were a brand new concept to me as they might be to you as well, so let me explain…

DigiFolios are a digital lapbook.  They require no special program as they can run on the Paint program that comes with your computer.  (We have used both the Paint program and our Photoshop software to work on these.)

In my opinion, they work best for older children, 4th grade and above, but there are a couple of DigiFolios geared toward younger children too.  If your child has no knowledge of computers, this is a fun way to introduce some computer skills as DigiFolios do require both typing and designing.

Need more info?  Click on the Instruction Sheet below to enlarge:

In the photo at the top of this post, you see my oldest daughter (age 11) with her World Book software open to a photo of Ronald Reagan so that she could read about him and then try to draw him behind the podium of the Presidents DigiFolio.  She did a fantastic job and the photo simply does not do it justice.

Above, is my 7 year old daughter who insisted on trying her hand at Abraham Lincoln.  She did a great job for what little computer skills she has; however, much of the work was simply too difficult for her to do on her own.  Perhaps next time we will try one of the younger ones.

By the way, DigiFolios can be printed out for a hard copy or left on your computer in a file.  I like that!  We can go completely paperless if we wish!

And here’s the best part! I have 5 Digi products to give away here at Raising Arrows! If you win, you will get your choice of a DigiFolio product, so start checking them out to see which one you might want!

If you are reading this post via email, click over to enter to win!

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Once again, I find myself in between homes.

If you remember last year when we moved, I wrote an entire series on Large Family Moving.  Rather than rehash that, I thought I would take a more spiritual approach.

Jesus said to him, “The foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.”
Matthew 8:20

I know I talk here a lot about your home life and homemaking skills and finding peace in your home, but there is such a thing as being too wrapped up in the temporal here and now of our home life that we forget this is not truly our Home.

So, this week as I am packing up one house and preparing to unpack another, I am reminding myself that what matters most is not found inside the walls of a home, but inside the heart and mind.

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