tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702Mon, 09 Nov 2009 19:10:36 +0000http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/abqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)Blogger815125blogspot/stevebrewerhttp://feedburner.google.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-7282903868818994046Mon, 09 Nov 2009 19:08:00 +00002009-11-09T11:10:36.918-08:00plantsyardworkAfter finding a volunteer seedling in the yard, I say to my wife: "Where would you like another palm tree?"Ah, California!http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/ryb31qeD3JQ/not-your-everyday-conversation-opener.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)0<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/ryb31qeD3JQ" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/11/not-your-everyday-conversation-opener.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-4796793985198325230Tue, 03 Nov 2009 13:56:00 +00002009-11-03T06:01:55.072-08:00newscrimeToday's tip for aspiring criminals: If you hear a teller say, "He's here again," it's probably time to find a new bank to rob.In Tamarac, FL, the same dreadlock-wearing man has robbed the same bank four times in the past year, most recently on Saturday.Think he maybe lives nearby?Story here.http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/D3oQafW00U0/back-to-well.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)2<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/D3oQafW00U0" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/11/back-to-well.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-8040223293646081645Mon, 02 Nov 2009 19:01:00 +00002009-11-02T11:05:41.539-08:00newscrimeToday's tip for aspiring criminals: When robbing a restaurant, always keep an eye on the cook.A knife-wielding robber in Lincoln, NE, forgot that important rule, and was very surprised when the cook hit him with a sizzling flank steak, fresh off the burner. Police say the stunned robber dropped his knife and fled.Full story here.http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/6QkmykNgVQg/you-have-been-served.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)0<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/6QkmykNgVQg" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/11/you-have-been-served.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-6317055754714701696Tue, 27 Oct 2009 18:11:00 +00002009-10-27T11:16:05.433-07:00kidsholidayseyeballsHalloween may be my favorite holiday, but not for the reasons you might guess.Yes, there’s candy, and I’m all for that. Yes, there’s a sense of community from all the kiddies and their chaperones prowling the chilly night together. And, yes, it’s a lazy man’s holiday, requiring little preparation, perspiration or shopping.But here’s the reason I enjoy Halloween: I love scaring the bejeebers out http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/Z4fScCSbXzw/frightening-children-for-fun-and-profit.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)0<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/Z4fScCSbXzw" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/10/frightening-children-for-fun-and-profit.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-3242166070248350033Fri, 23 Oct 2009 11:18:00 +00002009-10-23T04:25:13.314-07:00newscrimeToday's tip for aspiring criminals: Honesty may be the best policy, but when getting booked in a bank holdup, it's really better if you don't list your occupation as "robbery."That advice comes too late for 60-year-old Lonnie Pannell, who's facing a four-year stretch for robbing a bank in Rapid City, SD.Full story here.http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/bD4EtlcAu8g/hobbies-kidnapping-occasional-arson.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)1<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/bD4EtlcAu8g" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/10/hobbies-kidnapping-occasional-arson.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-2169900442560865882Thu, 22 Oct 2009 18:09:00 +00002009-10-22T11:14:15.465-07:00newscrimePolice in New York arrested two janitors who allegedly outfitted a locked room at a state building with couches and a TV, creating a "man cave" where they could hang out and sleep on the job.As if that's not bad enough, authorities say the men also used the room as a place to smoke and sell marijuana.Dude. The janitors. No wonder all the snacks kept disappearing from the break room.Full story http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/KtGrgyi3DA8/that-funky-man-cave-smell.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)0<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/KtGrgyi3DA8" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/10/that-funky-man-cave-smell.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-2506737651889196340Tue, 20 Oct 2009 16:17:00 +00002009-10-20T09:21:08.590-07:00newscrimeToday's tip for aspiring criminals: After a crime, or even during its commission, you might feel guilt or remorse. But it's really better not to stop everything and pray with the victim for 10 minutes during the course of a holdup. Especially if the security video cameras are running.Full story here.http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/X_CHHBtyoSk/can-i-get-amen.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)1<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/X_CHHBtyoSk" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/10/can-i-get-amen.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-1634662897426361105Mon, 19 Oct 2009 17:22:00 +00002009-10-19T10:27:25.652-07:00newscrimeToday's tip for aspiring criminals: If you're going to terrorize a whole neighborhood with break-ins, attempted carjackings and threats, it's usually better to have a real gun.Police in Aloha, OR, say Billy Ryan, 26, confronted homeowners and tried to carjack vehicles, each time reaching inside his shirt as if going for a gun. But nobody seemed to believe him. Homeowners told him to get out. http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/9aLz_QKbcj0/knew-i-forgot-something.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)0<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/9aLz_QKbcj0" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/10/knew-i-forgot-something.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-4793587982169243936Thu, 15 Oct 2009 14:15:00 +00002009-10-15T07:20:49.490-07:00newscrimeToday's tip for aspiring criminals: During an armed robbery, try not to drop your wallet. But if you do, don't call the victim and demand that he return it. It's bad form, and the cops will be waiting at the meet. Trust us.Or, you can check the example of a 23-year-old Little Rock, AR, man who managed to lose his wallet during a failed stickup. While the victim was being interviewed by police, hehttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/npSj7caJucU/maybe-deeper-pockets.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)0<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/npSj7caJucU" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/10/maybe-deeper-pockets.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-2457950951544500859Wed, 14 Oct 2009 13:37:00 +00002009-10-14T13:47:30.836-07:00bookswritingTo all my fellow authors: Next time you get to grumbling about your reviews, go read this review, in which the New York Times' Michiko Kakutani holds the latest book by Jonathan Lethem in front of a flame-thrower.Whew.http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/2kNgSr0ZyaE/ouch.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)1<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/2kNgSr0ZyaE" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/10/ouch.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-6973792678801401698Fri, 09 Oct 2009 20:18:00 +00002009-10-09T13:24:16.746-07:00HarTrying out a bit of dialogue:"I like my coffee like I like my women -- hot, sweet and in my lap."What do you think? No? Doesn't work?I told this one to my wife, just kidding around, and she said, "What do you mean 'women,' plural?'"Whoops.http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/yU_a9nGZGNo/hard-boiled.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)4<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/yU_a9nGZGNo" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/10/hard-boiled.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-9147291387749136567Sun, 04 Oct 2009 16:48:00 +00002009-10-04T14:48:44.012-07:00newscrittersTrappers in St. Augustine, FL, say they killed an Eastern Diamondback rattlesnake that was 7 feet, 3 inches long.The trappers were called after the giant rattlesnake was spotted near a townhome community called Tuscan Village.Story, complete with chilling photos, here.http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/lrdoU-ZXFcQ/another-reason-to-avoid-florida.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)0<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/lrdoU-ZXFcQ" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/10/another-reason-to-avoid-florida.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-1186762224213811179Thu, 01 Oct 2009 13:45:00 +00002009-10-01T06:47:56.439-07:00calendarbooksA reminder to my friends in the Redding, CA, area: I'm appearing at 1 p.m. this Saturday (10/3) at the Barnes & Noble store on Churn Creek Rd. I'll be signing books and talking about mysteries and the "Lonely Street" movie.Hope to see you there!http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/enpv5xqdukQ/yall-come.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)0<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/enpv5xqdukQ" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/10/yall-come.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-3847520928624214383Tue, 29 Sep 2009 17:53:00 +00002009-09-29T11:01:28.073-07:00clothesworking at homecalendarweather(Editor's note: I'm jumping the gun a little here, but the blustery taste of autumn we're getting in Redding made me think of this ode to flannel.)That crisp snap in the air marks the arrival of our favorite time of year: Flannel Shirt Season.During the hot months, we all go around dressed as if we’re on our way to Physical Education class. But in autumn, the flannel shirt replaces (or layers http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/f0gSBBcFwt4/roll-out-flannel.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)1<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/f0gSBBcFwt4" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/09/roll-out-flannel.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-2519802969673868622Fri, 25 Sep 2009 12:46:00 +00002009-09-25T05:57:44.410-07:00nervesnoiseexercisemovieRegular readers may recall that I like to watch DVDs while walking on the Dreadmill in my garage, but this activity is not without its hazards.Because I'm trying to hear the movie over the thumping Dreadmill, I keep the volume up high, even though I work out in the cool of the morning. My neighbors have been very understanding.But this week I plugged in the DVD of a movie called "Surveillance," ahttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/Xr9ikj1Nhqo/everybody-awake-how-about-now.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)1<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/Xr9ikj1Nhqo" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/09/everybody-awake-how-about-now.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-2923605800099264300Wed, 23 Sep 2009 16:51:00 +00002009-09-23T09:58:57.631-07:00newscrimeToday's advice for aspiring criminals: If you work for the U.S. Postal Service and start stealing Netflix DVDs from the mail, practice a little self-restraint.Authorities say Myles Weathers stole more than $30,000 worth of DVDs from the mail while working in the Springfield, MA, post office for a year. Netflix contacted postal authorities about a large number of complaints about missing DVDs in http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/FWdDzuOhXc4/carried-away.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)0<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/FWdDzuOhXc4" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/09/carried-away.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-6068633902568196849Tue, 22 Sep 2009 22:12:00 +00002009-09-22T15:14:22.631-07:00stupidMe to my wife: You oughta stop jumping around like that. All that exercise is gonna kill your appetite.http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/D194PQOfNj0/things-i-cant-believe-i-said-vol-xxii.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)1<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/D194PQOfNj0" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/09/things-i-cant-believe-i-said-vol-xxii.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-630575958800373025Sat, 19 Sep 2009 17:48:00 +00002009-09-19T10:52:21.392-07:00overheardMe to my wife: Hey, that movie we couldn't remember the name of, the gangster one with Leonardo DiCaprio?Her: Yeah?Me: "The Departed."Her: That's right! God, that's a relief. All I could think of was "The Disabled."http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/qwR__DV7hHo/and-i-knew-that-wasnt-right.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)0<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/qwR__DV7hHo" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/09/and-i-knew-that-wasnt-right.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-6680526358468500087Thu, 17 Sep 2009 13:34:00 +00002009-09-17T06:41:48.206-07:00newscrimeToday's tip for aspiring criminals: While burglarizing a house, it's really better not to pause to check your Facebook account on the victim's computer. Also, remember to log out.Police say 19-year-old Jonathan Parker of Fort Loudon, PA, forgot this important lesson recently while rifling a home and stealing two diamond rings. The victim found his Facebook page open on her computer, which made http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/9eLhbqF_e8w/soon-on-inmatebook.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)0<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/9eLhbqF_e8w" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/09/soon-on-inmatebook.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-5402723686794343395Thu, 10 Sep 2009 19:30:00 +00002009-09-10T12:37:35.673-07:00swimmingparentingchoresMy 20-year-old son: "I saw what you wrote online about me and my friends using the swimming pool. 'Hippie soup.' Ha-ha. Very funny."Me: "After you guys left, the pool was like a mud wrestling pit, full of filth and cooties and vermin."Son: "Yeah, right."Me: "I had to give it double chlorine! Had to kill off all those youthful hormones!"Son: "Hormones?"Me: "You can't leave those untreated. If you http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/x79jbRxllWw/pool-talk.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)1<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/x79jbRxllWw" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/09/pool-talk.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-2547032004913371424Mon, 07 Sep 2009 14:08:00 +00002009-09-07T07:19:01.369-07:00newscrimestupidToday's tip for aspiring criminals: If you simply must steal that giant pepper logo from atop the local Chili's restaurant, you might want to get a battery-powered drill.Police say four young people in Bennington, VT, succeeded in removing the $8,000 pepper sign, using an electric drill to remove the bolts holding it in place. To power the drill, the youths strung 470 feet of extension cords, http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/NS_q1kruoD0/arrested-development.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)0<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/NS_q1kruoD0" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/09/arrested-development.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-4362613212424817535Sat, 05 Sep 2009 22:07:00 +00002009-09-05T15:10:57.497-07:00teensgameslanguageTwo 17-year-olds, slumping past on their way to my son's bedroom:My son: "We're gonna go play 'Halo.'"His friend: "I am the lord of all things 'Halo.'"http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/5UMRtie9Nf4/boyspeak.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)1<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/5UMRtie9Nf4" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/09/boyspeak.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-5319691897881636872Thu, 03 Sep 2009 18:02:00 +00002009-09-03T11:07:57.236-07:00houseworkgizmoschoressciencecrittersI don't understand why, with all our scientific advancements in cloning, etc., we can't develop animals to do our household chores for us.For instance, I would happily house an anteater-like creature that would hoover up my carpets. I'm tired of pushing around a loud piece of machinery that breaks if it picks up a crumb. No, don't try to sell me a better vacuum or a Roomba or whatever. I want a http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/zHSp7z3-fao/and-birdbeak-stereo.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)0<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/zHSp7z3-fao" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/09/and-birdbeak-stereo.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-8011306423399994867Wed, 02 Sep 2009 22:10:00 +00002009-09-02T15:14:36.440-07:00newscrimeA former inmate in Florida has been injured on a 12-foot-tall fence when he tried to climb back into the jail.Sylvester Jiles, 24, had been held on a manslaughter charge, but was released after a plea deal. Later, he showed at the jail, begging corrections officers to let him back inside because the family of the manslaughter victim was gunning for him. The guards couldn't just take him in, so hehttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/VplODrdy5Mc/youre-doing-it-wrong.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)0<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/VplODrdy5Mc" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/09/youre-doing-it-wrong.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-927335469212041702.post-2050494446201723502Tue, 01 Sep 2009 17:43:00 +00002009-09-01T10:48:24.179-07:00kidsswimmingparentingsummerI look out the patio windows and there in our relatively small in-ground pool is our oldest son, the wandering minstrel with the blond dreadlocks, and five of his equally filthy freak-flag-flying friends, swimming and splashing and having the time of their lives.I turned to my wife and said, "Hippie soup."http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~3/NiKtm_aFJrs/woodstock.htmlabqbrewer@aol.com (STEVE BREWER)1<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/stevebrewer/~4/NiKtm_aFJrs" height="1" width="1"/>http://stevebrewer.blogspot.com/2009/09/woodstock.html