Allan's Perspective

GOD is not happy! | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 05:27:00 PST

Dear Readers;

We’ve got trouble in River City folks.

GOD is not happy!

It’s Sunday, and time for another batch of religious news…………!

This first one is rather ambiguous, if it’s about attacking a zombie, then we here at Perspective don’t see any problem. If, however, it’s about attacking the Prophet Muhammad, or his zombie likeness, then we see a HUGE problem!

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American Muslims Allowed to Attack People for Insulting Mohammad!

By Mark Whittington

Jonathon Turley, a law professor at George Washington University, reports on a disturbing case in which a state judge in Pennsylvania threw out an assault case involving a Muslim attacking an atheist for insulting the Prophet Muhammad.

Judge Mark Martin, an Iraq war veteran and a convert to Islam, threw the case out in what appears to be an invocation of Sharia law.

The incident occurred at the Mechanicsburg, Pa., Halloween parade where Ernie Perce, an atheist activist, marched as a zombie Muhammad. Talaag Elbayomy, a Muslim, attacked Perce, and he was arrested by police.

Judge Martin threw the case out on the grounds that Elbayomy was obligated to attack Perce because of his culture and religion. Judge Martin stated that the First Amendment of the Constitution does not permit people to provoke other people. He also called Perce, the plaintiff in the case, a “doofus.” In effect, Perce was the perpetrator of the assault, in Judge Martin’s view, and Elbayomy the innocent. The Sharia law that the Muslim attacker followed trumped the First Amendment.

Words almost fail.

The Washington Post recently reported on an appeals court decision to maintain an injunction to stop the implementation of an amendment to the Oklahoma state constitution that bans the use of Sharia law in state courts. The excuse the court gave was that there was no documented case of Sharia law being invoked in an American court. Judge Martin would seem to have provided that example, which should provide fodder for the argument as the case goes through the federal courts.

The text of the First Amendment could not be clearer. “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof-” It does not say “unless somebody, especially a Muslim, is angered.” Indeed Judge Martin specifically decided to respect the establishment of a religion, in this case Islam.

That Judge Martin should be removed from the bench and severely sanctioned goes almost without saying. He clearly had no business hearing the case in the first place, since he seems to carry an emotional bias. He also needs to retake a constitutional law course. Otherwise, a real can of worms has been opened up, permitting violence against people exercising free speech.

http://news.yahoo.com/penn-judge-muslims-allowed-attack-people-insulting-mohammad-210000330.html

(It should be noted that another atheist, dressed as a Zombie Pope, was marching beside the Zombie Muhammad. No outraged Catholics attacked him. -Ed.)

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Next is an article that shows the disrespect one religion can display for another.

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ReligionNewsBlog.com — Mormons operating independently of the Mormon Church — and in direct contradiction to the church’s edicts on the subject — have posthumously baptized Holocaust victim Anne Frank in a ritual referred to as ‘Baptism for the Dead.’

Anne Frank was the third Holocaust victim discovered to have been baptized posthumously this month.

‘Baptism for the dead‘ is one of many un-biblical practices of the Mormon Church — which, theologicaly, is considered to be a cult of Christianity.

Christian website CARM explains that in this practice “individuals go to their local Mormon temple, dress appropriately for a baptism, representatively adopt the name of a person who has died, and then the Mormon is baptized in water for that deceased person. This way, the dead person has fulfilled the requirements of salvation in the afterworld and can enjoy further spiritual benefits in the spiritual realm.”

CARM shows that the Mormon rite is based on a Bible verse that has been taken out of context.

Earlier this month the Mormon Church apologized for posthumously baptising the parents of Nazi-hunter Simon Wiesenthal.

The Mormon Church, officially name The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS), has stipulated that its followers may not perform the proxy baptisms for Holocaust victims who are not related to a church member.

A 2010 pact between the LDS Church and Jewish leaders was supposed to halt the practice of baptizing Jews posthumously. [See: The Mormon/Jewish Controversy], but incidents keep occurring.

Anne Frank’s baptism, which took place in a Mormon Temple in the Dominican Republic, was discovered by former Mormon Helen Radkey.

According to the Huffinton Post

Radkey said she discovered that Annelies Marie “Anne” Frank, who died at Bergen Belsen death camp in 1945 at age 15, was baptized by proxy on Saturday. Mormons have submitted versions of her name at least a dozen times for proxy rites and carried out the ritual at least nine times from 1989 to 1999, according to Radkey. But Radkey says this is the first time in more than a decade that Frank’s name has been discovered in a database that can be used both for genealogy and also to submit a deceased person’s name to be considered for proxy baptism — a separate process, according to a spokesman for the church. The database is only open to Mormons.

Peggy Fletcher Stack at the Salt Lake Tribune says “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints also learned that Jan Karski, a Roman Catholic who witnessed the emerging Holocaust in Poland and risked his life to bring that news to U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt, had been similarly baptized.”

She quotes LDS spokesman Michael Purdy as saying that computer access to the database has been suspended for the members who submitted the names of Frank and Karski.

The LDS Church then issued its strongest response yet to the violation of its agreement not to do proxy baptisms for Holocaust victims who are not related to a church member.

“It takes a good deal of deception and manipulation to get an improper submission through the safeguards we have put in place,” Purdy said in an email, language that suggests these baptisms could be the work of mischief makers. “While no system is foolproof in preventing the handful of individuals who are determined to falsify submissions, we are committed to taking action against individual abusers. … We will also consider whether other church disciplinary action should be taken. It is distressing when an individual willfully violates the church’s policy and something that should be understood to be an offering based on love and respect becomes a source of contention.”

http://www.religionnewsblog.com/26575/anne-frank-posthumously-baptized-in-mormon-ritual

GOD is not happy! | BlogsCanada.ca

Saturday Morning Confusion About the Gay Lifestyle! | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 07:35:00 PST

Dear Readers;

This article is not against gays, but rather a condemnation of the gay lifestyle, since it is the underlying source of many of the S.T.D.’s we have in our society today!

AIDS started out as a predominately gay disease, and so did a host of other ailments …………. NOT because of gay sex in general, but due to the promiscuity of most male gay members!

Just like Sodom and Gomorrah of Biblical times folks, wild, wanton, uninhibited sex with multiple partners can, and will, have their consequences.

Gay bars and bath houses are the source of many of our sexually transmitted diseases, and it is the gay male who is the culprit here. While all women are primarily monogamous by nature, most guys will shtup anything that moves! (And even some things that don’t!)

THIS, my friends, is where the trouble starts.

Just like the AIDS epidemic, an outbreak of syphilis in New Brunswick that has seen the number of cases rise tenfold in the last three years and could get worse, a provincial health official warns.

From 1993 to 2007, the province recorded an average of one syphilis case per year. In 2008, it recorded six. That jumped to nine the following year, 37 in 2010 and 57 last year.

This year officials expect upwards of 100 cases!

And why you ask?

Let me tell you.

According to The Canadian Press……….., “We seem to unfortunately have a trend,” Dr. Denis Allard, New Brunswick’s deputy chief medical officer of health said in an interview. “We hope we can have an effect on it, but for the time being it seems to be as high or higher than last year.”

Allard said most of those being infected are between the ages of 20 and 25, adding that some people are at particular risk because of their sexual behaviour.

“These are people who have multiple sex partners, especially if these sex partners are anonymous,” Allard said.

“People these days tend to go on the Internet to find partners there and don’t seem to inform themselves very much, they just want to have sex, and they get infected.”

Allard said the Health Department has done a lot of work to provide information about syphilis on its website, and to circulate brochures and posters on the infection and the proper use of condoms to the public, particularly young adults.

Since late 2009, 92 per cent of syphilis cases in New Brunswick have involved men, and most of those reported having only male sex partners, according to the January issue of the New Brunswick Disease Watch Bulletin.

Alex McKay, a research co-ordinator with the Sex Information and Education Council of Canada, said New Brunswick’s statistics show that specific education programs need to be directed at the province’s gay community.

He said too many people believe a condom is all that’s needed to protect them.

“Oral sex is a much lower risk activity for the spread of HIV, however syphilis is quite easily transmitted through oral sex,” he said.

Allard said much of the province’s education programs last year were directed at bars and websites frequented by gay men.

He said there has been a recent increase in female cases reported in the province, but it’s hard to say why.

“It could be that people are a little more promiscuous in their sexual behaviour.”

Nick Scott, executive director of AIDS New Brunswick, said it’s a big concern whenever there is an increase in cases of sexually transmitted infections because it could mean an increase in other diseases.

He said a particular worry is that many people who have such infections are unaware.

“When you don’t know that you have it is when you spread it,” he said. “If you know that you have it, you will take the proper precautions.”

Other provinces have seen syphilis outbreaks prior to the one in New Brunswick.

Between 2000 and 2009, the number of cases in Ontario jumped from 43 to 711. During the same time, the number of cases in Quebec jumped from seven to 374, and they went from 15 to 271 in Alberta.

An outbreak in British Columbia peaked at 328 in 2008 but dropped to 216 in 2009.

Nationally, the number of cases jumped from 174 in 2000 to 1757 by the end of 2010.

Read more: http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/Canada/20120225/syphilis-outbreak-newbrunswick-120225/#ixzz1nPIyJqnD

JUST REMEMBER KIDS, IF IT CAN HAPPEN TO AL CAPONE, IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU!

Saturday Morning Confusion About the Gay Lifestyle! | BlogsCanada.ca

Mid Week Mayhem! Maria or Kathy or Roseanne? | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 08:19:00 PST

Just like any other guy I can see a picture or clip of a well known celebrity, and immediately the thought, ‘boy, I’d like to sleep with her” comes to mind.

WE all do it, and I have to admit that in my mind I have been carnal with at least half of the good looking women in Hollywood at one time or another. (According to the Bible, just thinking about it is a mortal sin …….. so I’m fucked in more ways than one!)

However!

Yesterday was a slow day for me, so I took it one step further and said to myself; ” suppose you really COULD sleep with just one person of your choice ………. who would it be?”

Oh, the decisions, boys and girls!

First and foremost, I would have to go by looks since that is the only criteria there is to judge.

Or is it?

I couldn’t go by any acting they have done because that is just what it says ………………. acting!

I couldn’t get to know what they were all about by what was written about them, since that is someone else’s opinion.

I couldn’t even rely on ‘quotes’ because that is suspect as well.

No sir!

If I wanted to find out if someone was interesting, and therefore attractive, I would have to listen to an interview, or better yet, some sort of routine where they said what was on their mind.

Like a comedy routine!

(Can’t really get inside anyone’s head better than listening to what they have to say in a funny way ……………… so that’s the way I am going to judge them!)

And that brings me down to two women who I would like to sleep with, and one I couldn’t!

Maria Bamford, Kathy Griffith and Roseanne Barr. I will leave it up to you to decide which is which ……, and which is a witch!

Mid Week Mayhem! Maria or Kathy or Roseanne? | BlogsCanada.ca

Republicans are still a bunch of lying, scum sucking bastards! | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 13:35:00 PST

Dear Readers;

It’s Sunday, and time for a bit of religious news.

Ever since they went after Bill Clinton for getting a blow job, the ‘holier than thou’ Republicans have been nothing but a bunch of lying, deceitful, mean spirited, underhanded, scum sucking S.O.B’s who will stop at nothing to criticize and embarrass anyone on the left with whatever piece of bullshit they can either dig up or make up! (Good thing I’m not REALLY mad!)

The latest thing they came up with this weekend is telling people that Obama is not a real Christian ………………. or at least not the ‘right’ kind of Christian!!!!

COLUMBUS, Ohio (Reuters) – Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum challenged President Barack Obama’s Christian beliefs on Saturday, saying White House policies were motivated by a “different theology.”

(When asked about the statement at a news conference later, Santorum said, “If the president says he’s a Christian, he’s a Christian.”)

BUT! Santorum did not back down from the assertion that Obama’s values run against those of Christianity.

“He is imposing his values on the Christian church. He can categorize those values anyway he wants. I’m not going to,” Santorum told reporters.

A social conservative, Santorum is increasingly seen as a champion for evangelical Christians in fights with Democrats over contraception and gay marriage.

“This is just the latest low in a Republican primary campaign that has been fueled by distortions, ugliness, and searing pessimism and negativity – a stark contrast with the President who is focused everyday on creating jobs and restoring economic security for the middle class,” said Obama campaign spokesman Ben LaBolt.

(At a campaign appearance in Florida last month, Santorum declined to correct a voter who called Obama, a Christian, an “avowed Muslim.” Santorum told CNN after that incident, “I don’t feel it’s my obligation every time someone says something I don’t agree with to contradict them, and the president’s a big boy, he can defend himself.”)

Listening to these assholes is not much different than watching some Sunni Muslims calling a bunch of Shia Muslims …… “infidels!”

Makes about as much sense too!

Republicans are still a bunch of lying, scum sucking bastards! | BlogsCanada.ca

Sunday Morning Funnies on the NET! | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 08:26:00 PST

Dear Readers;

The younger net surfers have a certain vocabulary, so I think it’s about time we middle-aged and older folks have our own symbols too!

WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
WTP: Where’s The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil
GGLKI: Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In

ATD: At The Doctor’s
BFF: Best Friend Farted
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth

CBM: Covered By Medicare
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers

FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again

HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor

LWO: Lawrence Welk’s On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROFL… CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing… And Can’t Get Up

SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?

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The NET is a superhighway?

Superhighway.” The don’t know JACK about the Net. It’s NOTHING like a Superhighway. That’s a BAD metaphor.

Suppose the HIGHWAYS were like the NET.

A highway HUNDREDS of lanes wide. most with potholes. Privately operated bridges and overpasses. No highway patrol. A couple of rent-a-cops on bicycles with broken whisltes. 500 member VIGILANTE POSSES with nuclear weapons. 237 ON RAMPS at every intersection. NO SIGNS. Wanna get to Ensenada? Holler out the window at a passing truck to ask directions. AD HOC traffic laws. Some lanes would VOTE to make use by a single-occupant vehicle a CAPITAL OFFENSE on Monday through Friday between 7:00 and 9:00. Other lanes would just SHOOT you without a trial for talking on your car phone.

AOL would be a giant diesel-smoking BUS with hundreds of EBOLA victims and a TOILET spewing out on the road behind it. Throwing DEAD WOMBATS and rotten cabbage at the other cars, most of which have been ASSEMBLED AT HOME from kits. Some are 2.5 horsepower LAWNMOWER ENGINES with a top speed of nine miles an hour. Others burn NITROGLYCERIN and IDLE at 120.

No license tags. World War II BOMBER NOSE ART instead. Terrifying paintings of huge teeth or VAMPIRE EAGLES. Bumper-mounted MACHINE GUNS. Flip somebody the finger on this highway and get a WHITE PHOSPHORUS GRENADE up your tailpipe. Flatbed trucks with ANTI-AIRCRAFT MISSILE BATTERIES to shoot down the Traffic Watch helicopter. A little kid on a tricycle with a squirt gun filled with HYDROCHLORIC ACID.

Now THAT’S the way to run an Interstate Highway system.

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A list of redneck computer terms

Backup – What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods.
Bar code – Them’s the fight’n rules down da local tavern.

Bug – The reason you is a giv’n for calling in sick.

Byte – What yer pit bull dun to cusin Jethro.

Cache – Needed when you go to da store.

Chip – Yer cusin’s uncle’s mother’s boyfriend’s name.

Terminal – Time to call da undertaker.

Crash – When you go to Junior’s party uninvited.

Digital – The art of counting on your fingers.

Diskette – A female Disco dancer.

Hacker – Uncle Leroy after thirty years of smoking.

Hardcopy – Picture looked at when selecting tattoos.

Internet – Where cafeteria workers put their hair.

Keyboard – Where you hang the keys to the John Deere.

Mac – Big Bob’s favorite fast food.

Megahertz – How your head feels after seventeen beers.

Modem – What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall.

Mouse pad – Where Mickey and Minnie live.

Network – Scoop’n up a big fish before it breaks the line.

Online – Where to stay when taking the sobriety test.

Rom – Where the pope lives.

Screen – Helps keep the skeeters off the porch.

Serial port – A red wine you drink with breakfast.

Superconductor – Amtrak’s Employee of the year.

Scsi – What you call your week-old underwear.

—————————————–

Computer novices may feel like they’re alone these days, but some of the following calls to IBM’s help center show there are plenty of people out there who still are inching onto the information superhighway.
After a caller gave a technician her PC’s serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, “I see you have an Aptiva” desktop unit. Before he could say another word, the caller shrieked and said she’d be right back. When the customer returned, the technician asked if she was all right. The caller responded: “Had I realized you could see me, I never would have telephoned in my bathrobe.”

A customer who had just received a laptop computer asked about the power-saving feature known as “hibernate.” Would this hibernate device work in the spring and summer, the caller asked.

Another caller explained she had received a gift of software on 5.25-inch diskettes, but she had only a 3.5-inch disk drive on her computer. The technician said she had two options: Get a second disk drive, or use 3.5-inch diskettes. The customer called back later, now complaining that her disk drive was making a terrible noise. And this despite the fact that she was using a 3.5-inch diskette, she said. After a bunch of questions, the technician determined the caller had used a pair of scissors to trim the 5.25-inch diskettes to fit the 3.5-inch drive.

A caller, perplexed that his new desktop computer–the one that was supposed to do everything short of bringing on world peace – was doing nothing, cried out for help. No problem, the IBM technician said. First, open a “window” to launch a specific program. The conversation continued, and the caller asked a few moments later if it might be all right to close the window. Why, the IBM technician asked. Because, the caller responded, it was getting very chilly.

Sunday Morning Funnies on the NET! | BlogsCanada.ca

Saturday Morning Confusion on Privacy! | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 06:32:00 PST

Dear Readers;

We here at ‘Perspective on Canada’ have been talking about Bill c-30 and your right to privacy a lot lately, and this article in the National Post show us how we are going another step down the road to ‘Big Brother!’

Although this article is a bit long, it is important that you realize the gravity of the situation!

————————————

By Adrian Humphreys

Proposed legislation Bill C-30 giving police access to your Internet account is causing controversy, but those personal details — and many more — are already on the public record and open to prying eyes.

After a B.C. lawyer’s dinner companion left the restaurant, police officers came to the table and asked everyone still seated to hand over identification. To clear up any misunderstanding, the lawyer complied.

He was then registered in a government database as having a known association with a gangster. Befuddled, he learned the person he had dined with had said hello to a gang member on the way out, the lawyer’s supporters say.

He is quietly fighting, so far unsuccessfully, to have that designation deleted, concerned that anytime police check he will immediately be flagged as suspicious and dangerous.

Welcome to the age of the data shadow.

A proposed federal law, Bill C-30, tabled this week by Public Safety Minister Vic Toews, requires Internet service providers and cellphone companies to hand over basic customer information to authorities without a warrant.

It is causing a furor.

Related

Vikileaks Twitter campaign against Toews shuts down because of ‘government witch hunt’

Online surveillance bill ‘a gold mine’ for hackers: Ontario privacy commissioner

“Now, every single Canadian citizen is walking around with an electronic prisoner’s bracelet,” NDP critic Charlie Angus said.

While that hyperbole makes a terrific sound bite, just like the bill’s title — The Protecting Children from Internet Predators Act — it is purposely polarizing.

It does, however, spark the question: What does government already know about us?

Unless you are exceptional, your data shadow is huge.

Ian Waldie/Getty Images Files

Attaching a name to your face in a crowd using biometric recognition of driver’s licence photos is one of the ways the government can track you

From tracking your movement with automated licence plate readers to attaching a name to your face in a crowd using biometric recognition of driver’s licence photos; from bureaucrats and politicians reading your health records to police analyzing your income and spending habits, if push came to shove, the information on you in the government’s reach is immense.

And electronic records are smashing the silos of data like never before, allowing hard facts to be linked with lifestyle information in a way that doesn’t always end well, privacy advocates warn. It is the stuff found in shadowy “citizen dossiers” of Cold War-era dictatorships.

“The government has a voracious appetite for our private information. Now, with electronic records, we do that by linking electronic databases without ever creating the actual, old file. It’s all already there,” said Micheal Vonn, policy director with the B.C. Civil Liberties Association.

“It incorporates many, many people into a web of suspicion that shouldn’t be there. The growth of the database nation presents a grave danger to democracy.”

Never mind the proposed bill, government already has enough data to make almost anyone feel uncomfortable.

Here is a taste:

Medical

The intimate information in medical files might include: erectile dysfunction, anti-psychotic medication, HIV tests, addictions, body mass index, the times you sought help because of stress, depression or sexual trauma. Health records can include psychiatric counselling.

And it isn’t just information about the person named on the file. They contain concerns expressed about a spouse’s drinking or infidelity or drug use by their child; the times they vented about their unstable boss.

Aren’t these out of the hands of anyone other than health-care providers?

Ask Sean Bruyea. The Gulf War veteran found his health records, including psychiatric reports, had been passed around by bureaucrats and sent to a Cabinet Minister in an apparent bid to discredit the outspoken critic.

Financial

Financial records are similarly sensitive: how much you earn, how much you donate to charity, which charities you choose, bankruptcy declarations, who you owe money to.

Financial data in government hands include income tax records, pension information, child tax benefits and much more. Anyone who has received a cheque from the government for any reason or ever paid money to the government is now in a database.

Corporate and business registration, federally and provincially, also requires a lot of personal and financial information. Credit card records offer a detailed profile of spending habits. Although privately held, a court order sees them turned over.

“You can find almost anyone and learn an awful lot about them if you have their credit history,” said a former police officer who now works for a provincial government.

There are also the enormous databanks of the Financial Transactions and Reports Analysis Centre of Canada (FinTRAC), a government agency collecting and disclosing information on suspected money laundering and terrorist financing.

Banks, life insurance companies, securities dealers, accountants, casinos, real estate brokers and others who deal with cash are obligated to report the deals or attempted deals under certain circumstances.

“Behaviour is suspicious, not people,” is FinTRAC’s mantra.

Scholastic

Extensive student records exist on most Canadians, including government student loans.

Local school boards and provincial education ministries have recorded your marks, attendance, illnesses, notes from teachers to parents and notes from home to the school. Many jurisdictions are moving to creating a complete, portable account of each student that follows the person from class to class, school to school.

Like head lice in a shared toque, it never goes away.

Policing

Law-enforcement databanks allow officers anywhere to check if a person is dangerous or a fugitive. Databanks such as the Canadian Police Information Centre lists criminal convictions, warrants and other important interactions with police. Also flagged are “emotionally disturbed persons” and those who are HIV-positive.

But there is, increasingly, much more to police databanks, with almost anyone who has a police encounter being entered into one.

It is hard to muster worry that a convicted killer or child molester is flagged in a police computer, but what about you being embedded there for complaining about a noisy party or reporting stolen property?

The PRIME-BC police database contains the names of more than 85% of B.C. residents, according to the B.C. Civil Liberties Association, which warns citizens could be passed up for jobs and volunteer positions because of misleading red flags. In Alberta, TALON, a new, $65-million database, is also raising concerns.

Manitoba, under Mr. Toews when he was the province’s attorney-general, was a trailblazer in recording interaction with young men to note markers of gang activity to help identify and declare them as gang members.

The Toronto-area forces have an enormous, shared combined database.

Federally, also, those convicted of certain offences are ordered to submit their DNA to the DNA databanks, perhaps the ultimate baring of your identity.

Travel

Passport Canada, an agency of Foreign Affairs Canada, keeps a large repository on citizens, including facial-recognition biometrics, those who vouched for your passport application and all trips abroad as well as visa applications.

Canada Border Services Agency keeps track of who is crossing our borders, including where you go and who arrives to visit you.

Recall that thin slip of card for customs you filled out on the airplane when returning to Canada. You wrote your name, address, travelling companions, passport number, where you went, how long you stayed and what you bought.

Those cards — its catalogue of booze and tobacco and all — are kept and can be forwarded to police or other government agencies.

Immigration

The Field Operations Support Systems, used by border and immigration agents, track all immigration-related information.

The Computer Assisted Immigration Processing System tracks every immigration application being processed by overseas offices, including family history, assessment notes, appeals status and concerns raised by citizenship staff.

Both of these large databanks are being consolidated into the Global Case Management System. The consolidation is but one example of the government’s drive of integrating data.

Transportation

Provincial ministries regulating driver’s licences hold a bevy of information, including medical information, address, photograph and its biometric information for facial recognition, driving and vehicle records.

This summer, the Insurance Corporation of British Columbia caused an uproar by offering biometric data from its database to police to help identify participants in the Stanley Cup riot. Critics blasted the potential use of data collected for one purpose for a distinctly different one.

Automatic Licence Plate Recognition (ALPR) creates another powerful tool for surveillance.

Pitched as a way of finding stolen cars and kidnapped children, the technology has appeal, but the portable devices that read hundreds of passing licence plates every minute and runs them through registration databases to attach it to an owner is causing concern.

Scanned pictures can be stamped with GPS co-ordinates, date and time information and stored in a database. It can track cars coming and going from any destination.

In Britain, there have been wide complaints of police using ALPR to stop vehicles coming or going to political protests. Privacy watchdogs in B.C. uncovered that among those automatically targeted by the RCMP’s ALPR included everyone who has gone to court to establish legal custody of a child, all who had a mental health problem that received police attention, and those linked to others under investigation.

Corporate information

Information collected by private corporations also has a way of making it to government.

407 ETR, the privately run electronic toll highway north of Toronto, scans licence plates so the owner can be billed. Police have accessed the data to track vehicles entering and exiting the highway, cross-referencing it and linking it to their investigations.

More widely used is hydro-electricity data. Special legislation in some provinces sees hydro data turned over to government to help identify homes with unusually high usage.

Drawing a lot of power is a marker for running a marijuana grow operation. More than one hothouse cucumber farmer, hot tub or swimming pool owner has been on the wrong end of that information.

National Post
ahumphreys@nationalpost.com

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sarlcagan 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand

I doubt much of this is news to anyone. Besides, all of them combined don’t even come close to being equivalent to C-30 in terms of intrusiveness.

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10 hours ago

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anon413055020 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand

Most of this was done without us even having a say or even how we feel.
Using fear to manipulate us into accepting something for our saftey but at the same time giving away information about you by infringing on your privacy. How much information is needed? Why do the police need so much information on us?

Soon we will have to be finger printed and face scanned and retina scanned and DNA samples given just to go to Alberta.

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9 hours ago

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CalgaryHeraldisownedbyTheNP 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand

What better a time to make our lives about complete bullsh’t! Let’s all get to lookin really bad on paper or in cyberspace. I suppose I could be tied to the “environmentalist terrorists” if I went into a health food store!

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9 hours ago

2 Likes

CalgaryHeraldisownedbyTheNP 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand

I had a beer with the biker’s before. I guess I’m screwed!

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9 hours ago

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CalgaryHeraldisownedbyTheNP 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand

portugal, ahhhhhhhhhh! I’m a threat!

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9 hours ago

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prawn 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand

…..BREAKING NEWS ….. Vikileaks IP address not linked to NDP…but rather a Conservative Caucus IP address!
The
House of Commoms IP address has now been linked to the Cons – so they
started all this so they could be able to point the finger at the NDP.
Guess
in letting ol’ family values Toewsie take the fall they got caught up
in their own game or else someone with a lot more internet saavy than
who the Cons have, pointed the finger at the Conservatives. As well the HoC IT people don’t have a clue as to what is really going on. One more exorbitant waste of taxpayers money!

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9 hours ago

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CalgaryHeraldisownedbyTheNP 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand

Moooooo Mooooooo I’m a Cow!

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8 hours ago

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CalgaryHeraldisownedbyTheNP 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand

I have friends that I talk to when I run into them I must be in a gang!

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8 hours ago

1 Like

CalgaryHeraldisownedbyTheNP 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand

I have kitchen knives! suspect me of weaponry!

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8 hours ago

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CalgaryHeraldisownedbyTheNP 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand

I like Horror movies! I must be pathological!

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8 hours ago

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CalgaryHeraldisownedbyTheNP 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand

I bought a wallet at a head shop! I must be pushin drugs!

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8 hours ago

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David Krae 8 comments collapsed Collapse Expand

Just blew off my Friday night to take a closer look at Bill C-30 and its little friend Bill C12.

My notes are a bit long, but if you take a look you will see that things get better and better (or worse and worse) the further you go.

C-30 apparently does the following:

1) — provides for the installation of monitoring software on ISPs (and possibly websites).
2) — makes sure to legally define a ‘device’ as inclusive of a ‘computer program’
3) — includes reference to use of a device (or computer program) ‘…to commit mischief…’ — still looking into that one as it’s scattered all over the Bill and the actual Act…but is pretty loosely defined
4) — expands the definition of and identifiable group (in terms of hate crimes) to now include “national origin, age, sex, mental or physical disability” – in addition to the original definition being “colour, race, religion, ethnic origin or sexual orientation” – which then means what? –calling someone a ‘leftard’ could be construed as a hate crime due to the use of ‘tard’, or being critical of a nation or someone from a nation could be a hate crime, women saying…

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8 hours ago

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edncda 5 comments collapsed Collapse Expand

Thanks for taking the time to share this. As I’ve posted previously, who in hell thought this up? The Chinese government? The Ayatollah in Tehran?
I’m dead certain no elected MPs did. So that leaves the mandarins. Give them a mandate to come up with a bill and this is what they think is appropriate for Canada? Who did this? Seriously.

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8 hours ago

in reply to David Krae

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David Krae 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand

You should read Bill C-51 (its predecessor) – in some ways its even more draconian. It pretty much indicates the intent behind this kind of legislation…

Alas, I’m sure there are a number of MPs who were in on this Bill, but it’s not unlikely that the bulk of it came from a team of advisors and a think-tank or two — probably specifically tasked with harmonizing the Canadian legal system with those of other nations when it comes to implementing surveillance and the suspension of civil liberties.

International politics are a ‘give and take’ exercise. We have resources but we need markets…so there’s always pressure on our government to give in on certain issues. The US, Europe and Asia have been making big moves in this direction (although they just jumped back with SOPA and ACTA – though only temporarily, I’m sure) and it’s not surprising that this Canadian government is so blithely following along.

Its too bad though, because we in Canada are the most ‘connected’ people in the world, and we could be a voice of reason for protecting the freedom of the Internet.

Apart from some annoying spam which my email filters are getting pretty good at…

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7 hours ago

in reply to edncda

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Nestor James 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand

I think this is the work of the Police. They’ve been making the case that The War On Kiddy-Porn is some kind of terrible world crisis that must be won at all costs, and then if you disagree with them, they can go ahead and say you are an advocate of child pornography, which is exactly what f^ck-face did. I’ll bet they’ve been putting this together for years. People know they can do anything they like in this world as long as they say, “It’s for the children”. It sure works for the teachers. I suspect this bill is the work of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police – maybe we should name a state after them.

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7 hours ago

in reply to edncda

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edncda 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand

@David Krae: Re your reply published below: I agree it was likely a committee of some sort. In which case they must have published meeting minutes. Might be interesting to put our vaunted Access to Information legislation to the test – if only to find the documents have been completely redacted. I simply can’t imagine the average MP (Toews not included) not being pretty much like average people and I just can’t see them initiating this kind of perspective. So who else was in on the meetings? In particular, were there any “non-Canadians” or lobbyists included?
This could be a job for Wikileaks…….

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7 hours ago

in reply to edncda

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David Krae 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand

edncda It would be interesting to find out the details of who is coming up with these proposed (and totally unnecessary) legal changes and what kind of steering they are being given from the PMs office and any other organizations or agencies. There’s certainly an intelligence aspect to the objectives as the Bill references the laws of other countries being applicable to Canadians as well. It occurred to me why the ISPs (or TSPs as the Bill calls them – which is probably and expanded term to include websites and their databases – like blogs, Facebook, Twitter and social networking) have been somewhat silent on this issue.The Bill makes it clear that the tech companies will be paid by the Government to implement the listening and monitoring software. This will be an immense undertaking and the money to be made is huge. Also, from what I know of the internet tech world and its culture, there’s likely a sentiment of ‘it’ll never work anyway’ from the super-smart tech folks. To them, this might appear as a huge ‘make work’ project that they believe will ultimately fail. The problem is that this kind of legislation will certainly succeed at creating an air of fear and distrust across our fair country. And the implementation of such technologies along with the granting of such open-access to agents of the government — even if mostly ineffectual — will certainly lead to unwarranted invasions of privacy.Worse yet, let’s say they don’t find a whole lot of child pornographers. How are they going to justify what will be a massive expenditure, most likely in the billions? “It’s been a slow month…we need some busts to show how effective this new system is and to justify all our new Inspector positions”….do you see where that leads?

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6 hours ago

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Bobbi4 2 comments collapsed Collapse Expand

Thank you David for taking the time to weed through those invasive Bills. Our freedoms have been slowly escalating for decades .
My parents fled from socialist/communist countries. No words can describe what they lived through.

If the laws truly targeted & nailed child perverts, criminals, terrorists , yadda yadda and make Canada a safe country for law abiding people than fine, BUT there are far too many ways (loops) to abuse honest citizens as we all witnessed with the abusive Firearms registration supposedly confidential, NOT !

One of our sons’ neighbors was arrested for having a grow op in his basement, WHO KNEW? They socialized once in a while like neighbors do, does this mean he’s on some sort of red flag file, from what I’m reading he likely is. How discusting :-{

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4 hours ago

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RH6 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand

I is like the story of the frog in the lukewarm pot of water. You know?

So we perceived the smoke. that means that there is fire somewhere from some years already.

I wonder how many files are ILLEGALLY already existing on people?

Why do you think the police is being more and more arrogant and shooting on any given opportunity?

http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/02/17/bill-c-30-may-give-the-government-new-surveillance-powers-but-its-shocking-what-they-already-know/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+NP_Top_Stories+%28National+Post+-+Top+Stories%29&utm_content=My+Yahoo

Saturday Morning Confusion on Privacy! | BlogsCanada.ca

Sunday Religious News! | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 10:02:00 PST

Dear Readers;

Just so ya don’t think I only pick on the Muslims ………….., or the Catholics ………….., or the Scientologists ……………………, or the Right Wing Evangelicals …………, or the Mormons ………., well, you get the idea!

As I said in my book; “The Plain Truth About God” (A brief history of religion) I have no use for mainstream religion, since it’s all about the agenda of the guys in charge, rather than about God!

Once humans start meddling in religious matters they end up using it for their own ends, and God only knows what happens next! (Pardon the Pun!)

————————————————————-

The pastor of a scandal-plagued church in Toronto, Canada, was found not guilty of sexually assaulting a member of his congregation.

Jae-Kap Song of the Jesus First Church had been accused of telling a parishioner that evil spirits would turn her into a hunchback-like creature, before sexually assaulting her.

The woman said he warned her that the evil spirit would also change the color of her skin, and then requested that she remove her clothing so he could assess whether the process had already begun.

According to the Toronto Star

The woman said the pastor then removed the rest of her clothing, while she lay on the bed “frozen” and in shock.

“It’s serious,” she said he told her of the skin condition, before assaulting her with his hand as he tried to convince her to have sex with him. She said she refused and he eventually backed off.

Afterward, she said she was too ashamed to tell anyone what had happened. The woman said she knew her husband admired Song and believed he was a true spiritual leader.

The alleged incident took place in the early hours of Valentine’s Day 2010. Song was charged several months later, after nine members of his congregation were slapped with 485 charges — including gang rape — after Song accused them of sex crimes.

The scandal made international headlines, but last October the Crown dropped all charges against the nine members after a five-week pretrial, saying there was “no reasonable prospect of conviction.”

At the time, their lawyers claimed the accusations — including gang sexual assault, administering drugs for sex, threatening death, forcible confinement and assault — were very likely concocted on instructions from the church controversial leader, Pastor Jae-Kap (Joe) Song who was himself charged with sexual assault.

The defense lawyers also maintained that Song had cult-like power over his followers.

The Toronto Sun reports that while Justice Katherine van Rensburg was clearly “troubled” by the evidence at trial and admitted it was “possible,” the assault happened, she was not convinced “beyond reasonable doubt,” and acquitted Pastor Jae-Kap Song.

According to the paper

The judge said the complainant’s evidence at trial was “clear and compelling,” while she found Pastor Song’s testimony “troubling and unconvincing,” noting he did not answer questions with straightforward answers. [...]

In the end the judge ruled that the complainant is a university educated woman and it did not make sense that she willfully followed Song to the bedroom. She also noted the woman initially reported she was digitally penetrated for 20 minutes but later testified the incident lasted only about two minutes.

The judge also noted that the woman may have had motive to concoct the story to deflect that charges that her husband originally faced.

The Orangeville Banner reports

Throughout the trial, the court heard Song held influence over the complainant as her pastor, elder and landlord.
“I am not satisfied that Pastor Song had control over the complainant and her will was overborn,” Van Rensberg said.

While Van Rensberg said Song’s role as a landlord held no influence over the complainant, she said as founder of the church, the pastor was “held in high regard” by his congregation. However, Song attempted to downplay his influence during his testimony according to Van Rensberg.

“Mr. Song attempted to minimize his level of influence in the church he founded,” Van Rensberg said. “He was the true spiritual leader.”

During his testimony, Song was evasive, and did not answer questions directly, even those posed by his own lawyer, according to Van Rensberg.

“I found his demeanour troubling,” Van Rensberg said. “Many aspects of the defence’s evidence, I did not believe.”

Song’s church congregation has dwindled from 60 to 20 followers, but he says he hopes the church will recover.

http://www.religionnewsblog.com/26525/bizarre-sex-scandal-within-toronto%e2%80%99s-jesus-first-church-concludes-as-pastor-found-not-guilty-of-sex-assault

(Your humble writer has no idea what is going on with this crowd, but I can tell you one thing! There is something very wrong here! -Ed.)
————————————————-

Sunday Religious News! | BlogsCanada.ca

Sunday Morning Funnies! | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 09:33:00 PST

Dear Readers;

Once again you can thank your lucky stars that we live in Canada. Although people are quick to sue in this country it’s nothing like it is in the States!

Here are the Stellas for year – 2011:

* SEVENTH PLACE *

Kathleen Robertson of Austin , Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers

after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store.

The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler

was her own son

Start scratching!

* SIXTH PLACE *

Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor

ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the

wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor’s hubcaps.

Scratch some more…

* FIFTH PLACE *

Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way

of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he

could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn’t re-enter the house because the door

connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count ‘em,

EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner’s

insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must

pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish. Keep scratching.

There are more…

Double hand scratching after this one.

* FOURTH PLACE *

Jerry Williams, of Little Rock , Arkansas , garnered 4th Place in the Stella’s when he was awarded $14,500

plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor’s beagle – even though the

beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the

jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed

over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

Pick a new spot to scratch, you’re getting a bald spot.

* THIRD PLACE *

Amber Carson of Lancaster , Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her

$113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink

was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

What ever happened to people being responsible for their own actions?

Only two more so ease up on the scratching…

*SECOND PLACE*

Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell

from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was

trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said

the night club had to pay her $12,000….oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.

Ok. Here we go!!

* FIRST PLACE *

This year’s runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City , Oklahoma ,

who purchased new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game,

having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver’s seat to go

to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway,

crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner’s

manual that she couldn’t actually leave the driver’s seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury

awarded her,

are you sitting down?

$1,750,000, plus a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit,

just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.

If you think the court system is out of control,

be sure to pass this one on.

Sunday Morning Funnies! BlogsCanada.ca

Saturday Morning Confusion About What to Drink? | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 05:36:00 PST

WATER

#1.     75% of Canadians are chronically dehydrated.
(Likely applies to half the world population)

#2.     In 37% of Canadians, the thirst mechanism is so weak
that it is mistaken for hunger.

#3.     Even MILD dehydration will slow down one’s metabolism as 3%.

#4.     One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs
for almost 100% of dieters in a University study.

#5.     Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.

#6.     Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of
water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain
for up to 80% of sufferers.

#7.     A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term
memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on
the computer screen or on a printed page.

#8.     Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of
colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast
cancer by 79%., and one is 50% less likely to develop
bladder cancer. Are you drinking the amount of water
you should drink every day?

COKE

#1.     In many states the highway patrol carries
two gallons of Coke in the trunk to remove blood from
the highway after a car accident.

#2.     You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke
and it will be gone in two days.

#3.     To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the
toilet bowl and let the 'real thing' sit for one hour,
then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes
stains from vitreous china.

#4.     To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers:
Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds
Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.

#5.     To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour
a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble
away the corrosion.

#6.     To loosen a rusted bolt: Apply a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola
to the rusted bolt for several minutes.

#7     To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into
the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake.
Thirty minutes before ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix
with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.

#8.     To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of Coke
into the load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run
through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen
grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your
windshield.

FOR YOUR INFORMATION:

#1.     The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid.
It will dissolve a nail in about four days. Phosphoric
acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major
contributor to the rising increase of osteoporosis.

#2.    To carry Coca-Cola syrup! (the concentrate) the
commercial trucks must use a hazardous Material place
cards reserved for highly corrosive materials

#3.    The distributors of Coke have been using it to clean
engines of the trucks for about 20 years!      Now the question is, would you like a glass of water?

or Coke?

Saturday Morning Confusion About What to Drink? | BlogsCanada.ca

Mid Week Mayhem; From Scotland, lessons on separatism! | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 17:30:00 PST

Do you agree that Scotland should be an independent country?

That is the question Scotland’s separatist First Minister, Alex Salmond, proposes to put to Scottish voters in a referendum sometime in late 2014. Ten words, no subordinate clauses, its meaning incapable of confusion. Compare it with this little essay in obscurity:

Do you agree that Quebec should become sovereign after having made a formal offer to Canada for a new economic and political partnership within the scope of the bill respecting the future of Quebec and of the agreement signed on June 12, 1995?.

Or how about that lengthy brain-teaser, posed to Quebecers in 1980, which began with the words “The Government of Quebec has made public its proposal to negotiate a new agreement with the rest of Canada …,” and ended, many, many words later, with “Do you give the Government of Quebec the mandate to negotiate the proposed agreement between Quebec and Canada?”

Yet, remarkably enough, Salmond’s proposed question has run into fierce opposition, on the grounds that it is loaded in favour of the separatist side. “Do you agree,” it is argued, invites people to say yes: Who wants to be disagreeable? Proposed alternatives include “Do you want Scotland to remain a part of the United Kingdom?” or “Do you want Scotland to leave the United Kingdom and become an independent country?”

Related

Insight: Scottish separatists face tough independence battle

Analysis: Is Scottish independence brave or foolhardy?

Full Comment: Cameron dares Scotland to separate or get off the pot

Vote sooner on Scottish independence: David Cameron

No, that’s not the remarkable part. What’s more remarkable, rather, is that it is not solely up to the Scottish government to decide the question. Under the terms of the 1998 Scotland Act that created the Scottish Parliament — how Tony Blair must regret it now, having given Salmond the platform to pursue his ambitions — constitutional matters are “reserved” to Westminster. And while David Cameron, the British Prime Minister, has signalled his willingness to transfer the authority to hold the referendum to the Scots, he has also made clear he will do so on conditions, not only with respect to the question, but the timing and the rules.

The referendum, then, will effectively be a joint venture, on terms negotiated between the two premiers, but with Cameron holding very much the whip hand. Indeed, Cameron has been bold enough to demand that the referendum be held much sooner, within the next 18 months, rather than subject the country to the three years of uncertainty of what he called, in an obvious bit of borrowing, Salmond’s “neverendum.”

Provided his conditions were met, he promised, he would accept the result as binding — which is to imply that if his demands were not met, he would feel free to ignore the result, as he is fully entitled to do. There has been no suggestion that Scotland could ignore the law and simply hold a referendum on its own, still less that it could declare independence unilaterally. Whatever comes to the United Kingdom, it will be by a decision of the British parliament, and carried out under the law.

No, I’m sorry, that’s still not the remarkable part. The truly remarkable thing is that we in Canada should ever have allowed the contrary notion to have taken hold: that the secessionists would dictate the wording, the timing, the rules, the requisite majority and the consequences of any vote. And that, having meekly surrendered every possible advantage to the separatists, we would then participate in these rigged votes, not once but twice. For the longest time, we trembled even to suggest the rule of law should apply — I remember federal ministers insisting, with the special ferocity of the fearful, that separation was a “purely political” question, beyond such “narrow legalisms.”

That changed with the Supreme Court reference on secession and the Clarity Act. But only just. The Clarity Act, remember, does not bind the government of Quebec in any way. It is binding only on the government of Canada. It does not set the rules for any future referendum. It only defines the conditions under which the federal government could enter into negotiations afterward. The Supreme Court required Ottawa to negotiate if there were a “clear majority” in response to a “clear question” (though quite what it was required to negotiate was left unclear). The Clarity Act forbade the feds to negotiate unless there were. But everything else was left to the separatists.

Among the very short list of advanced democracies that permit secession, we are on an even shorter list of those that leave it to the seceding power to arrange its own exit. Britain is more the norm. Still, Cameron is playing this game more aggressively than most. I can’t imagine he would actually sit down to negotiate the breakup of the United Kingdom, three centuries after the Act of Union: no Prime Minister would. His promise to do so must therefore be regarded as a bluff. There’s a certain game-theoretic sense in this. Not only does he avoid accusations of high-handedness, but by making “clear” the consequence of a yes vote, he warns off strategic voters who might be tempted to vote no just to extract better terms of union.

But he would not do so if he were not confident of victory. And with good reason: current polls show support for Scottish separation is higher in England than in Scotland.

Andrew Coyne / Postmedia News

http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2012/02/08/andrew-coyne-from-scotland-lessons-on-separatism/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+NP_Top_Stories+%28National+Post+-+Top+Stories%29&utm_content=My+Yahoo

Mid Week Mayhem; From Scotland, lessons on separatism! | BlogsCanada.ca

Sunday Morning Funnies! | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 05:14:00 PST

In the continuing debate on old age pensions, in order to save the economy, Harper will announce next week that he is ordering the immigration department to start deporting old people (instead of illegals) to lower Canada Pension Plan and Old Age Security costs.

Seems old people are easier to catch, and will not remember how to get back home!

—————————————-

A traveling salesman’s car breaks down in the country, so he decides to call on the closest farmhouse.

When the farmer opens the door, the salesman says, “Sir, my car died just up the road. Could I stay here for tonight?”

The farmer says, “Sure, but I have a very handsome son and you’ll have to promise not to sleep with him.”

“Excuse me,” says the salesman, “but I think I’m in the wrong joke.”

——————————————–

Some “Senior” personal ads seen in newspapers:
(Who says seniors don’t have a sense of humor?)

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80′s, slim, 5’4″
(used to be 5’6″), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing
companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband,
and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness,
fainting, shortness of breath not a problem..

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga
and meditation. If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our
hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a
dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel
candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my
Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were
a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let’s get together and listen
to my eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can
remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let’s put our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair,
many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn’t in running
condition, but walks well.

————————————————

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says: “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: “OK, now what?”

——————————————

Two Newfies, Archie and Harry, were driving down the road drinking a couple of beers. The Passenger, Harry said, “Lord tunderin’ jaisis…up ahead, Arch, It’s a police roadblock!! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’!!”"Don’t worry,” Archie said. “We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers, then peel off the label, stick it on our foreheads and throw the bottles under the seat.”

“What fer?”

“Just let me do the talkin’, OK?”

Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight and put a label on each of their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the officer took a look at the pair of them and said, ” You boys been drinkin’?”

“No, Sir,” said Archie while pointing to the labels, “We’re on the patch.”

————————————————————–

Rookie Sailor

Newfie goes down to the Grand Bank wharf looking for work and comes up to this captain of a fishing boat and says ” Hey Capt’n got any work fer me?”

The captain gives him a 28 page job application and says “Fill this out and bring it back to me”. So 2 days later the Newfie brings it back and gives it to the captain.

The captain takes a quick look at it and says “OK, you’re hired, now go on board and find something to do.”

Just then, this Japanese guy comes up to the captain and says “Lookie wok, need wok.”

The captain tells him “OK you’re hired.”

The Newfie is standing right there and asks the captain, “Hey, you made me fill out a 28 page job application and you just hired this guy like that, why?

Captain replies “He’s got an honest face”

The Newfie sighs and walks onto the boat, right upset.

A few days later, they’re out to sea and the Newfie is up in the crow’s nest looking for icebergs and the Japanese guy is down on the deck mopping the deck.

Just then, this great big wave comes along and washes the Japanese guy overboard.

The Newfie gets down out of the crow’s nest and walks into the captain’s office and tells him:

“Remember that Japanese guy you hired with the honest face? Well, he just disappeared with your mop!”

——————————————

The Far North

Ned took a job working alone in Canada’s far frozen north. “Here’s your emergency survival kit,” said his boss. “It contains a box of flares, a radio and a deck of cards.”

“What are the cards for?” Ned asked.

“In case the flares don’t work, and the radio freezes up,” replied the boss, “just take out the cards and play solitaire. In about ten seconds someone will tap you on the shoulder and say, ‘Put the red nine on the black ten.’”

——————————————

National Survey

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the Canadian auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black box voice recorders in selected four-wheel drive pickup trucks and SUV’s in an effort to determine, in serious accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.

They were surprised to find that in most towns in Canada the recorded last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, “Oh, shit!”.

Only the places like Esquimalt-Sooke, Langford, Shawnigan Lake, Duncan, Nanaimo, Cranbrook and Port Alberni were different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were: “Hold my beer, I’m gonna try somethin’.”

Sunday Morning Funnies! | BlogsCanada.ca

Saturday Morning Confusion about Indians! | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 09:44:00 PST

Dear Readers;

Your long suffering writer has said repeatedly that Indians should do less complaining, and more to help themselves, if they want their lot in life to improve.

As an example, about a hundred years ago the Chinese had it as bad, if not worse than Indians ……………. and look at them now.

(As a matter of fact, they have managed to establish their own reserves. One is called Richmond, and it’s in Vancouver, and the other is called Markham, in Toronto!)

If Indians stopped living in stupid places like on the shore of Hudson’s Bay, and moved to places where they could get a job, things would start to look up for them almost immediately. And please don’t give me that old argument that the white man came here and destroyed their way of life.

First if we hadn’t come here the natives would still be living in tents and walking wherever they went, because the Spanish brought horses to North America.

Second, the Native North Americans aren’t native to North American anyway!

New studies show that Native Americans originated from a small mountainous region in southern Siberia, new genetic research shows.

The work is the most targeted study yet to suggest a genetic “homeland” for North America’s indigenous peoples, according to the authors.

This means the we are ALL foreigners, it’s just that the white man came a bit later than the Indians!

(Here in Canada the true native North American is the beaver!)

———————————————-

By Christine Dell’Amore National Geographic News

New DNA analysis of ethnic groups living in the Altay Mountains (see map) revealed a unique genetic mutation that also occurs in modern-day northern Native Americans.

A possible link between Siberians and Native Americans is an “age-old question” that was first raised by European explorers in the New World, said study leader Theodore Schurr, an anthropologist at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia.

That’s because some of those early explorers had also been to Asia, and they noticed physical similarities between the two populations.

Now the new genetic data has “allowed us to identify more precisely the founding types of these [Siberian] lineages that are present in North America,” Schurr said.

Tracking the Siberian-Native American Link

Between 1991 and 2003, Schurr and colleagues—including Ludmila Osipova of Russia’s Institute of Cytology and Genetics—traveled to ethnic villages in the Altay region to collect genetic samples.

With its plentiful natural resources, Altay “has been a place hospitable to human populations for quite some time,” Schurr said, extending as far back as the age of the Neanderthals.

(Read about the earliest known pet dog owned by Altay hunter-gatherers.)

The scientists received written consent to take DNA samples from nearly 500 people, many of whom were living in remote areas and had never met Americans. As part of ongoing genetic research, the team had previously taken samples from close to 2,500 Native Americans in the U.S., Canada, and Mexico.

Depending on the location and individual preferences, the researchers collected DNA via cheek swabs, mouthwash samples, or blood samples.

In their analyses of Altay and Native American DNA, the scientists focused on two parts of the human genome: mitochondrial DNA, which is passed down through mothers, and the Y chromosome, which is passed down through fathers. (Get a genetics overview.)

Over time, mutations accumulate in these part of the genetic code that can help scientists pinpoint when populations branched off and migrated to new places, said Schurr, who is also the North American director for the National Geographic Society’s Genographic Project, which is conducted independently from the Altay DNA project. (The Society owns National Geographic News.)

In the case of the Altay people, the scientists found a mutation in one paternal lineage that arose about 18,000 years ago—a genetic marker that’s also found in modern-day Native Americans.

The finding dovetails with previous studies, including some by Schurr, that found a shared mutation in the two groups’ mtDNA, one that arose around the same time as the newfound Y chromosome mutation.

This time line also fits with other genetic research showing that the first Altay populations began to leave for North America about 15,000 years ago, most likely reaching the continent via the now submerged Beringia land bridge.

(See “New Land-Bridge Evidence Adds to Mystery of 1st Americans.”)

Native American Ancestry Hard to Pinpoint?

According to anthropologist Connie Mulligan, the new paper—to be published in the February 10 issue of the American Journal of Human Genetics—offers the most detailed genetic picture yet of ethnic Altay peoples.

Yet she thinks Shurr is “a little overly specific” in saying that Native Americans’ founding DNA comes from the Altay region.

“I would broaden [that] to say [it's] that general region of central East Asia,” said Mulligan, of the University of Florida in Gainesville.

That’s because the mitochondrial and Y chromosome mutations that Schurr identified are also found together elsewhere in Asia, for instance, in China and Mongolia, she said.

The bottom line is that it’s important to keep other Asian “populations in the running, and [it] means we should do dating studies on those populations as well,” Mulligan said.

Stephen Zegura, a professor emeritus of anthropology at the University of Arizona in Tucson, thinks Schurr and colleagues have a strong case for pinpointing Altay. But he added that, ultimately, it’ll be difficult to tease out exactly how the New World was peopled.

“We don’t have definitive information, like remains of people from the Beringia land bridge with ancient DNA,” he said.

“This is one of the problems—we have hypotheses, but we don’t have strong confirmation.”

The University of Florida’s Mulligan agreed that piecing together human migration patterns can be complex. (Explore an atlas of the human journey.)

But one thing’s for sure: The research so far “fits our picture of people being creative, adaptable beings—and that’s most likely how we were able to colonize the whole planet.”

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2012/01/120203-native-americans-siberia-genes-dna-science/

Saturday Morning Confusion about Indians! | BlogsCanada.ca

Mid Week Mayhem – Many in Afghan Community Supported Honour Killing! | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 05:34:00 PST

Dear Readers;

This is what happens when we admit people from a society that is still stuck in the twelfth century!

—————————————————

Diba Masoomi, sister of Rona Amir Mohammad, received mysterious calls from Dubai telling her to withdraw a police complaint against Mohammad Shafia.

MONTREAL — The Shafia honour killing trial heard from plenty of Afghan witnesses prepared to vouch for the parents and son accused of murdering four female members of their family.

Mohammad Shafia’s half-brother said Shafia was being framed because of his wealth. A brother of Tooba Mohammad Yahya, Shafia’s second wife, swore his brother-in-law was an upstanding businessman, as did another Shafia associate. The Shafias’ 18-year-old son, brother to three murdered sisters, described the family home as “happy, joyful.”

In the end, the jury dismissed their testimony and found Shafia, Yahya and their 21-year-old son Hamed guilty of first-degree murder in a Kingston, Ont., courtroom on Sunday.

The verdict, in part, can be attributed to the testimony of three members of the extended Shafia clan who felt obliged to tell the truth about what was going on in the family’s Montreal home. For their efforts, they have been shunned by family and subjected to threats.

Related

Quebec child-abuse registry came too late to help Shafia victims

Six perspectives on ‘honour’ killings in Canada

Mohammad Shafia was ‘so obsessed, so closed-minded’

Christie Blatchford on the Shafia guilty verdict: No honour in ‘cold-blooded, shameless’ murders

Latif Hyderi, an uncle of Yahya who lives in Montreal, offered shocking testimony about a conversation he had with Shafia about his 19-year-old daughter. Zainab, desperate to escape her oppressive home, had married her boyfriend, then promptly had the union annulled. Shafia told Mr. Hyderi she was a whore. “She is dirty. She is a curse to me,” Mr. Hyderi recalled Shafia telling him. Shafia, who was away on business, told him: “If I was there, I would have killed her.”

Courtesy of Reza Hyderi

Latif Hyderi and son Reza

Mr. Hyderi’s son, Reza, 31, said in an interview that his family was threatened after deciding to go to the police with suspicions that the deaths of Zainab, Sahar, 17, and 13-year-old Geeti Shafia and Shafia’s other wife, Rona Amir Mohammad, were no accident.

“We used to receive calls from people, threatening over the phone,” he said. One cousin warned him not to “create problems for yourself and for others.”

Since ignoring the threats, his family “has been completely abandoned by the Afghan community,” he said, calling the response disturbing.

“Honestly I don’t care about myself. I don’t care if they don’t talk to me or if I’m not in their society,” Mr. Hyderi said.

“But my parents, they’re very, very good people, and this is their world. They cannot communicate either in English or in French. They’ve grown up in Afghan society. It’s everything to them. And suddenly you snatch everything from them.… It’s a punishment for the fact that my Dad went to testify against Mr. Shafia.”

Fazil Javad, a brother of Yahya, travelled from Sweden to testify about another conversation with Shafia. He said Shafia had talked about planning a family trip to Sweden to kill Zainab. “He told me that we will put her in water and drown her,” Mr. Javad testified. He said Shafia cursed his daughter and complained that she was dating a young Pakistani man.

Mr. Hyderi said Mr. Javad, his cousin, has also been ostracized by the family for speaking out. Reached in Sweden, Mr. Javad, who speaks limited English, said, he was tired of talking about Shafia. “They are crazy people,” he said. “How can a father kill his children? I don’t understand.” Since the deaths, he added, “I am always thinking about it.… I cannot sleep.”

Lars Hagberg/Postmedia News/Reuters

Mohammad Shafia (L), his wife Tooba Mohammad Yahya and son Hamed Shafia are guilty of killing four of their family members.

The third family member to testify for the Crown was Diba Masoomi, a sister of Ms. Mohammad living in France. She had written to police soon after the deaths to alert them something was fishy. To begin with, she could not understand why Ms. Mohammad had been referred to as a cousin when she was the first wife in Shafia’s polygamous marriage. But worse, she reported that Ms. Mohammad and Zainab had received death threats.

Murder charges were filed two weeks later, in July 2009. That fall, Ms. Masoomi began receiving mysterious calls from Dubai, where the Shafias had lived before moving to Canada in 2007 and where Shafia still travelled frequently for business.

Wali Abdali, Ms. Masoomi’s brother, said his sister was frightened by the calls. “Three times they called after my sister had filed a complaint against Shafia about the deaths. They called her telling her to withdraw her complaint,” Mr. Abdali said. “They said they are not murderers, they never killed anyone, you have to withdraw your complaint.”

She persisted, travelling to Kingston, Ont., to testify at the preliminary inquiry and at the trial. In November she testified that before her death, her sister had told her about overhearing Shafia plotting to kill Zainab. “I will kill her because she dishonoured me,” she quoted Shafia as saying.

Mr. Abdali said they never learned who made the calls, and they did not report them to police because they eventually stopped. But he said he remained nervous. “Every time she had to travel, I would accompany her,” he said. “I didn’t want to lose a second sister.”

National Post, with files from Postmedia News

• Email: ghamilton@nationalpost.com | Twitter:

http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/01/31/shafia-relatives-threatened-shunned-for-testifying-against-family/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+NP_Top_Stories+%28National+Post+-+Top+Stories%29&utm_content=My+Yahoo

Mid Week Mayhem – Many in Afghan Community Supported Honour Killing! | BlogsCanada.ca

Sunday Morning Funnies! Apology to Americans. | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 15:34:00 PST

Dear Readers;

On behalf of Canadians everywhere, I’d like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven’t been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.
I’m sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron, but it wasn’t nice of us to point it out. If it’s any consolation, the fact that he’s a moron shouldn’t reflect poorly on the people of America. After all, it’s not like you actually elected him.
I’m sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn’t give us the right to sell you lumber that’s cheaper and better than your own. It would be like if, well, say you have 10 times the television audience we did and you flood our market with great shows, cheaper than we could produce. I know you would never do that.
I’m sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours. As a way of our apology, please accept all of our Canadian NHL teams, which one by one are going out of business and moving to your fine country.
I’m sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you’re going up against a crazed dictator, you want to have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different: Everyone knew he had weapons.
I’m sorry we burnt down your White-House during the war of 1812. I see you’ve rebuilt it! It’s very nice.
I’m sorry for Alan Thicke, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Lover Boy, the song from Sheriff that ends with the high pitched end note, your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer, but we feel your pain.
And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I’m sorry that we’re constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way, which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you’re not upset over this, because, we’ve seen what you do to countries with whom you get upset with.

I’m Canadian. And I’m sorry.

———————————————

A Jewish person, an American and a Canadian were riding in a car together and were involved in a very bad accident. The ambulance took them all to hospital together but they were just barely alive….as a matter of fact all three expired in the same operating room while doctors were working on them.
Suddenly the three of them appeared in the clouds at St. Peters Gate and as they approached, St. Peter gestured to the American and said, “If you give me fifty dollars I’ll send you back….you are too young to be up here so soon.”
The American whipped out fifty bucks and….poof! He jumped off the operating table in perfect conition! Not a scratch on him. The doctors were amazed and asked him how come?
He said that all he knew is that the three of them were “up there” with St. Peter and when St. Peter asked him for fifty bucks to send him back….he paid it and….poof! Here he was!
The doctors couldn’t help but be amazed and asked him, “You say those other two were up there with you?” (They were on the next two operating tables in the room) The American said “Yes they were.”
The doctors then asked him, “Well what about them? Are they coming back too? What were they doing when you left?”
The American said, “Well, all I can say is when I looked back at them just before I left the Jew was arguing about the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his!”

——————————————-

CANADIANS IN HELL
Two guys from Toronto die and wake up in hell.
The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, “What are you doing? Isn’t it hot enough for you?”
The two guys reply, “Well, you know, we’re from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We’re just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh.”
The devil decides that these two aren’t miserable enough and turns up the heat.
The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, toques and mittens. The devil asks them again, “It’s awfully hot down here, can’t you guys feel it?”
Again the two guys reply, “Well, like we told ya yesterday, we’re from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We’re just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh.”
This gets the devil a little steamed up and he decides to fix these two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Canada and finds them in light jackets and bucket hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer.
The devil is astonished, “Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves.”
The two Canadians reply, “Well, ya know, we don’t get too much warm weather up there in Toronto so we’ve just got to have a cook-out when the weather’s THIS nice.”
The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell.
The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere; people are shivering so bad that they are unable to do anything but wail, moan and gnash their teeth.
The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Canadians.
He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, toques, and mittens. NOW they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men!!!
The devil is dumbfounded, “I don’t understand, when I turn up the heat you’re happy. Now it’s freezing cold and you’re still happy. What is wrong with you two???”
The Torontonians look at the devil in surprise, “Well, don’t you know? If Hell freezes over, it must mean the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup.”

——————————————————–

As we all know, the Taliban considers it a sin for a man to see a naked woman who is not his wife. So, this Sunday at 2:00 PM Eastern time all Canadian women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighbourhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti- terrorist effort.

All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Taliban, demonstrate that they think it’s okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all Canadian women.
And since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.
The Canadian Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

God Bless Canada!

———————————————–

The original name for Canada, dreamed up by a parliamentary committee in London, was “Cold North Dominion,” but that waas too long, so they abbreviated it C.N.D. The King’s Royal Governor presented the new name to the inhabitants, and they didn’t say a word. Just looked at him.
“Well, what do you think?” asked the Royal Governor?
“C., eh?” said the first fellow, and just looked at the Governor.
“N., eh?” says the second guy.
“D., eh?” says a third one. Then silence.
“Hey,” says the Governor. “I like that. It’s a helluva lot easier to pronounce when you spell it that way.”
So that’s how Canada got its name.
The original name for Canada, dreamed up by a parliamentary committee in London, was “Cold North Dominion,” but that waas too long, so they abbreviated it C.N.D. The King’s Royal Governor presented the new name to the inhabitants, and they didn’t say a word. Just looked at him.
“Well, what do you think?” asked the Royal Governor?
“C., eh?” said the first fellow, and just looked at the Governor.
“N., eh?” says the second guy.
“D., eh?” says a third one. Then silence.
“Hey,” says the Governor. “I like that. It’s a helluva lot easier to pronounce when you spell it that way.”
So that’s how Canada got its name.

Sunday Morning Funnies! Apology to Americans. | BlogsCanada.ca

Saturday Morning Confusion About the Shafia Trial! | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 05:13:00 PST

Dear Readers;

Now that the case has gone to the jury, I feel it is time to comment on this trail where most of a family were wiped out!

There is still debate among some people as to the true facts behind this murder / accident, so we present this article in the hope that it will give you all the poop,and nothing but the poop!

(I use that term because this whole thing stinks!)

———————————————–

By Allison Jones, The Canadian Press

KINGSTON, Ont. – A jury in eastern Ontario starts its first full day of deliberations Saturday to decide the fate of three people accused of killing four family members over honour.

Plans to kill Shafia sisters Zainab, 19, Sahar, 17, and Geeti, 13, as well as Rona Amir Mohammad, 52, their father’s childless first wife in a polygamous marriage, had been set in motion weeks earlier, the Crown alleges.

But the girls’ father, Mohammad Shafia, 58, their mother Tooba Yahya, 42, and their brother Hamed, 18 at the time but now 21, have pleaded not guilty to four counts each of first-degree murder.

During the 10-week trial, jurors heard vastly differing accounts of what happened.

Here’s a look at the agreed upon facts, along with the Crown’s version of events and the defence scenario.

The facts:

On June 29, 2009, the Shafias, an Afghanistan-born, Montreal-based family of 10 including two wives, wrapped up their summer vacation in Niagara Falls, where they had travelled the year before. After a trip mostly spent in Niagara — Hamed and Shafia left for one day and came back — the family packed it in that day.

They checked out of one of their hotel rooms in the morning, but didn’t check out of the second one until about 6 p.m. They didn’t head for home right away, instead leaving Niagara Falls at about 8:20 p.m.

In the family’s Lexus SUV were Shafia, Hamed and the surviving Shafia children. In a 2004 black Nissan Sentra, purchased for $5,000 one day before they left on the trip, were Yahya and the four family members who would soon be dead. The Shafias’ Pontiac minivan was left at home.

They drove toward Toronto, taking a little detour through the downtown and the girls took pictures of the CN Tower on their cellphones. As they travelled east from the city, they stopped at two different McDonalds, one being closed.

Yahya, Shafia and Hamed spelled each other off with driving, switching positions between the cars at a few points along the trip. But Yahya mostly drove the Nissan and Hamed mostly drove the Lexus.

At 1:36 a.m. Sahar’s phone receives a text message that goes unanswered and cellphone signal mapping technology shows it is routed through the tower closest to the canal at Kingston Mills locks. The map shows that while the signal pings off this tower, the sector that the phone was in is not that of the locks, but that of the Kingston East Motel.

The Shafias first try to check in to the Lord Nelson motel, but it has no vacancy. They next try their luck at the Kingston East Motel, just down the road.

At roughly 1:53 a.m., at least some of the Shafia family arrives at that motel. Hamed and Shafia wake up motel manager Robert Miller through the call box and he checks them in around 2 a.m. They ask for two rooms, and when he asks how many people will be in each room, the question seems to cause some confusion, he says. The father and son speak to each another in a language Miller can’t understand, and settle on six people total, three in each room.

About 15 minutes later, Miller sees Hamed and Shafia leaving the parking lot in an SUV. He stays awake until about 2:30 or 2:40 a.m. and doesn’t see them or anyone else return.

People near the locks either in boats along the canal or in some of the few houses in the area hear the sound of a horn. Someone hears a splash. Someone sees two cars, one with no headlights on.

It’s known that at some point Hamed went alone to Montreal in the Lexus. He says it was to conduct business and retrieve his laptop.

At 6:48 a.m., he receives a call from Shafia at the motel and cellphone mapping shows he is indeed in Montreal by that time.

Shafia makes a call from the motel to Sahar’s cellphone at 7:01 a.m. and it goes straight to voicemail. He does not try to reach her again.

Shortly before 8 a.m. Hamed calls 911 in Montreal to report that he has had a collision with a barrier in a near-empty parking lot. An officer arrives to take the report and Hamed asks her if he can have his vehicle fixed immediately.

Hamed returns back to the motel at roughly 11:30 a.m. or 11:45 a.m., not in the Lexus, but in the family’s minivan. He and his parents drop the other children off at Tim Hortons and go to the police station at 12:30 p.m. to report their four family members missing.

Meanwhile, around 9 a.m., lockmaster John Bruce discovers a car in the locks at Kingston Mills. He calls police and divers survey the underwater scene, finding that there are four female bodies in the car. The bodies are floating eerily over the seats, with Geeti and Zainab in the front and Rona and Sahar in the back.

They were not wearing seatbelts. Sahar was also not wearing shoes and Zainab had a sweater on backwards.

The Nissan Sentra is found with its wheels jerked to one side; the ignition, lights and wipers are off and it is in first gear. The seats are reclined all the way back, the driver’s window is open and there are scrape marks on the undercarriage.

Police officers find pieces of plastic on the ground by the edge of the canal wall and on the grass nearby. The pieces of what would later be found to be bits of the Shafias’ Lexus SUV headlights soon spark an investigation into the three now-accused family members.

What the defence says:

The end of the Shafias’ trip to Niagara Falls was not a well-organized affair. The day they were attempting to check out and leave, various children were sleeping, eating or exploring, and the family could not get around to leaving until after 8 p.m.

Yahya starts getting sleepy and isn’t feeling well, so they decide to stop for the night. At some point between making this decision on the highway and checking in to their motel in Kingston, the family stops somewhere again to switch drivers. Neither Yahya, Shafia nor the surviving son who all testified can nail down that location.

It was somewhere dark at the side of a road, they say.

They try the Lord Nelson motel and it is full, so Yahya tells Hamed and Shafia to go on and look for another motel and she will wait in the Nissan with the girls and Rona a little way down the road from the Lord Nelson. The passengers are sleeping, so Yahya reclines her seat and rests her eyes.

Hamed and Shafia get the rooms at the Kingston East Motel, drive a short distance down the road to where they left everyone else in the Nissan, no more than one kilometre away, and the whole family heads back to the motel. The girls and Rona are in one room, Shafia, Yahya and the other children are in the other room.

Zainab knocks on the door of her parents’ room and asks to borrow the car keys so she can get some luggage out of the car. Shafia and Yahya say this is the last they see of her or the others. But Hamed tells a different story.

He says he saw them leave the parking lot in the Nissan, so he followed them, concerned for their safety because Zainab was an unlicensed and inexperienced driver. He suggests they were looking for a gas station to buy phone cards. They end up at Kingston Mills, where Hamed accidentally rear-ends the Nissan with the Lexus.

He gets out to pick up broken pieces of headlight and, as he is doing so, hears a splash. The Nissan has gone in the water.

Hamed rushes to the edge of the canal, dropping the pieces, and calls out their names. He runs to the Lexus to get a rope and honks the horn once for help. He dangles the rope in the water, but there are no signs of life. He waits for several minutes in shock, wondering what to do.

He was scared and thought he would get in trouble for not stopping Zainab from driving, so he decides not to call police and not to tell his parents.

He drives to Montreal to stage the collision in the parking lot to account for the damage. He doesn’t initially tell police about this in an interview with them after making the missing persons report, but admits it when he is confronted with evidence later that day.

Meanwhile, Shafia wakes up early and discovers the Nissan and everyone from the other room is gone. He buys a phone card from the motel clerk and calls Hamed to ask if he has seen them.

Shafia makes a call from the motel to Sahar’s cellphone at 7:01 a.m. and it goes straight to voicemail. He does not try to reach her again.

Back in Montreal already, Hamed stages a collision with the parking barrier to mask the damage sustained when he rear-ended the Nissan earlier, because he is afraid his father will find out and blame him for the girls’ deaths. He doesn’t tell his parents about the damage.

His father calls him again to say he still hasn’t heard back from Sahar or anyone else, so Hamed drives back to Kingston. He returns in the minivan so his parents won’t see the damaged Lexus. Shafia and Yahya wait for Hamed to get back to report the disappearances to the police because their English is not strong, and they don’t want to wake up their other English-speaking children for fear of worrying them.

Hamed returns back to the motel and he and his parents drop the other children off at Tim Hortons and go to the police station at 12:30 p.m. to report their four family members missing. Hamed doesn’t say a word. His lawyer says he is only guilty of being stupid.

What the Crown says:

The entire trip to Niagara Falls was part of the plan, and hardly a vacation at all.

By the time the trip was coming to an end, the accused were stalling on leaving Niagara to ensure they would pass through Kingston in the middle of the night. The detour through downtown Toronto was a stalling tactic.

The plan all along was to stop in Kingston, the Crown says, it wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment decision. Why else would they have passed five exits leading to the main part of Kingston? In particular, why not get off at the exit where hotels are visible from the highway, including a hotel where they had stayed the year before?

Instead they exit at Highway 15, likely around 1:36 a.m., which would put them on the highway at the time of the last text message to Sahar’s phone, and not at the motel yet.

If they were already at the motel at 1:36, 17 minutes are missing, having arrived there on the evidence at 1:53 a.m. at the earliest.

The two cars drive to Kingston Mills, where Hamed and Shafia leave Yahya in the Nissan with the four soon-to-be victims. She reclines her seat to rest, as her daughters and Rona are doing, while Shafia and Hamed check their other children into the motel. Zainab has probably put her sweater backwards over her while she sleeps, the Crown suggests.

Kingston Mills is about 4 1/2 minutes away from the motel and when Hamed and Shafia return, Rona and the girls are drowned in one of the several areas of open water, either to the point of unconsciousness or death.

Their bodies are placed back in the car, but the accused forget to pull the seats back to an upright position and they forget to buckle in the dead, or at least incapacitated, bodies with seatbelts. The headlights are off so as not to draw attention.

The Nissan is put into neutral and maneouvered into place by the edge of the canal wall. The steering wheel is cranked to one side so that when the car goes into the water it will drop perfectly in between a gate arm and a walkway, a tiny triangle-shaped slot with little clearance on either side.

When it’s in position, someone reaches through the open driver’s side window and puts the car into first gear, thinking it will cause the car to go into the canal under its own power. But the front-wheel drive vehicle gets hung up on the ledge, scraping the undercarriage.

With wheels spinning, making noise, and four bodies in a car perched on a concrete ledge, someone reaches through the window and turns the ignition off. Someone else gets the Lexus and drives it up to the canal wall and bumps it from behind. The impact causes the Nissan to plunge into the water, but also causes damage to both the back of the Nissan and the front of the Lexus.

Hamed drops his mother and father off at the motel then goes to Montreal to stage his accident in the parking lot.

When he returns the family drops the other children at the Tim Hortons while they go to report their family members missing. They have already come up with a story about Zainab taking the car keys, and the fewer people there are for police to interview, the lesser the chance that someone will stray from the script.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/shafia-family-murder-trial-read-facts-crown-theory-100007938.html

Saturday Morning Confusion About the Shafia Trial! | BlogsCanada.ca

Mid Week Mayhem. Sorry folks, oral sex might not be good for ya! | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 05:37:00 PST

Dear Readers;

Are BJs Giving You Cancer?

————————-

By Caity Weaver:

The Canadian Cancer Society reported recently that the rate of oral cancer tumors possibly caused by human papillomavirus (HPV) is on an increase.

And, as the Atlantic knows, one way to contract HPV is by engaging in sexy, sexy mouth sex.

But don’t get go declaring your mouth a no-fun zone just yet. Part those lips, pop a chill pill, and let us break down the evidence for and against oral sex as the cancer culprit.

Let’s start on the defensive:

Evidence Oral Sex Might Not Be Killing You

- The Cancer Society’s report analyzed data taken from patients between 1999 and 2008. If you think people didn’t have oral sex before 1999, you need to watch Remember The 80′s.

- The rate of HPV positive oral cancers did go up quite a bit during this time period, but only in white people. Data from other races showed no major changes, which could suggest that oral sex is but another Great White Secret, but probably does not. (It’s because black guys refuse to hum! -Ed.)

- The spike was especially high in white males: men reported a 4.4% increase per year, while the rate in women was less than half that. Are men really putting their mouths to genitals that much more often as women? C’mon, guys. Equal opportunities, please.

- A doctor in the Atlantic piece reports seeing the same trends play out in the elderly, a group not traditionally known for engaging in rampant oral sex.

- There are lots of risk factors besides HPV associated with the development of oral cancers, and practically all of them are cool things you like to do, like smoking, chewing tobacco, and drinking alcohol. Something’s definitely giving you cancer, but it might not be all that oral sex you’ve been having.

Evidence Oral Sex Might Be Killing You

- Well, the big one is that HPV you contract during oral sex can develop into cancer. It just can. I’m sorry.

- It takes a long time for HPV infection to progress to cancer. The latency period can last decades, in fact, which may explain the spike among the elderly. After all, the nonthreatening, asexual grandparents of today are but the freek-a-leek swinger parents of yesteryear.

- For that matter, who’s to say octogenarians don’t spend their days engaging in rampant oral sex on the down low? A lot of them are retired and they get up so early.

So there you have it. Keep having oral sex or maybe don’t, you crazy kids. Good luck.

http://gawker.com/5879036/todays-hummer-tomorrows-bummer-are-bjs-giving-you-cancer

Mid Week Mayhem. Sorry folks, oral sex might not be good for ya! | BlogsCanada.ca

Sunday Religious News | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 13:18:00 PST

Religious Persecution • Sudan:

Sudan Threatens to Arrest Church Leaders

Sudan’s Ministry of Guidance and Religious Endowments has threatened to arrest church leaders if they carry out evangelistic activities and do not comply with an order for churches to provide their names and contact information.The warning arrived a few days after Sudan President Omar al-Bashir told cheering crowds that the country’s constitution will be more deeply entrenched in sharia (Islamic law). »

Religious Persecution • Uganda:

Ugandan Teenager Tortured for Becoming a Christian Regaining Use of Legs

A 15-year-old Christian girl in western Uganda who lost the use of her legs after her father locked her in a room for six months for leaving Islam has begun to take tentative steps.Susan Ithungu had been hospitalized since September 2010 after neighbors along with police rescued her. »

al-Shabab | Al Shabaab • Hate Groups • Religious Persecution:

Somali Convert from Islam Whipped in Public

A Somali convert from Islam was paraded before a cheering crowd last month and publicly flogged as a punishment for embracing a “foreign religion,” sources said.Sofia Osman, a 28-year-old Christian from Janale city in Somali’as Lower Shabelle region, had been taken into custody by Islamic extremist al Shabaab militants in November; the public whipping was meant to mark her release. »

Indonesia • Religious Intolerance • Religious Persecution:

Anti-Christian Incidents Nearly Doubled in Indonesia in 2011

Acts of violence and intolerance against Christians in Indonesia almost doubled in 2011, with an Islamist campaign to close down churches symbolizing the plight of the religious minority.The worst is perhaps yet to come if authorities continue to overlook the threat of extremism, said a representative from the Jakarta-based Wahid Institute, a Muslim organization that promotes tolerance. »

Calvary Chapel:

Calvary Chapel congregation stunned as Chuck Smith announces that he has lung cancer

The congregation at Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa, California, were stunned last Sunday when Pastor Chuck Smith, its senior pastor, announced during his Sunday morning services that he has lung cancer and will have a biopsy on Tuesday and surgery the following week.Chuck Smith, now in his eighties and the father of the Jesus People Revolution in Southern California, said that he has never smoked in his life. »

Hate Groups • Islam • Uganda:

Muslim Extremists in Uganda Throw Acid on Bishop

Islamic extremists threw acid on a church leader on Christmas Eve shortly after a seven-day revival at his church, leaving him with severe burns that have blinded one eye and threaten sight in the other.On Oct. 15, area Muslim leaders declared a fatwa against him demanding his death. »

Pakistan • Religious Persecution:

Pakistani Christian Falsely Charged with ‘Blasphemy’ after Argument

A young man has been charged with desecrating the Quran under Pakistan’s controversial “blasphemy” laws after the Christian had an argument over rent with his Muslim landlord, his attorneys said.Police charged the man after his landlord accused him of burning pages of the Quran in order to prepare tea. »

Laos • Religious Persecution:

Laos Authorities Expelling Dozens Of Christians From Village

Dozens of Christians in southern Laos have been told to leave their village within 24 hours if they continue to believe in Christ and hold worship services.With Christmas approaching, Lao authorities already plan to expel at least 47 Christians, “including men, women and children,” from Natoo village in the Palansai District of Savannakhet province. »

Other News

• Algeria Stalls Appeal of Convicted Christian

• Iran Jails Pastor Extra Year Before Feared Execution

• Christians in Kashmir, India Increasingly Fearful, Report Says

• Uzbekistan Churches Banned From Evangelism, Youth Worship

• Al Qaeda Cell in Turkey Accused of Planning to Bomb Churches

• Christian Civilians in Burma Face Deadly Attacks

• Pastor’s Arrest Stir’s Anti-Christian Sentiment in Kashmir, India

http://www.religionnewsblog.com/

Sunday Religious News | BlogsCanada.ca

Sunday Morning Funnies! | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 07:39:00 PST

I once was on a plane where I was served by an obviously homosexual male flight attendant. At one point, he bounced over to where I was sitting and announced “The Captain has asked me to announce that he will be landing the big scary plane shortly, so if you could just put up your trays, that would be great.”

I did as he had instructed but the woman sitting next to me did not. A few moments later, our flight attendant came back and said to her: “Ma’am, perhaps you couldn’t hear me over the big scary engine, but I asked you to please put up your tray so that the captain can land the plane.” She still wouldn’t comply.

Now he was getting angry and asked her again to put up the tray. She then calmly turned to him and said: “In my country, I am called a princess. I take orders from no one.”

Our flight attendant replied: “Oh yeah? Well in MY country, I’m called a queen and I outrank you, bitch, so put the tray up!”

—————————————-

A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall,
holding hands, gazing out over the loch.

For several minutes they sat silently.

Then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, “A penny for your
thoughts, Angus.”

“Well, uh, I was thinkin’… perhaps it’s aboot time for a wee kiss.”

The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

Then he blushed.

The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

Minutes passed and the girl spoke again. “Another penny for your
thoughts, Angus.”

“Well, uh, I was thinkin’ perhaps it’s noo time aboot time for a wee cuddle.”

The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds.

Then he blushed.

And the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch..

After a while, she again said, “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

”Well, uh, I was thinkin’ perhaps it’s aboot time you let me put my
hand on your leg.”

The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee.

Then he blushed.

The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch before the girl spoke again.

”Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

The young man glanced down with a furled brow.

“Well, noo,” he said, “my thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time.”

“Really?” said the lass in a whisper, filled with anticipation.

”Aye,” said the lad, nodding.

The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in
anticipation of the ultimate request.

Then he said, “Dae ye nae think it’s aboot time ye paid me the first
three pennies?

——————————————

Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. “Here’s that $20 I owe you,” he says.

—————————————–

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. “Cold floors,” he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, “Bad food.” They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. “I quit,” he says. “That’s not surprising,” the elders say. “You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here.”

—————————————–

Sid and Irv are business partners. They make a deal that whichever one dies first will contact the living one from the afterlife. So Irv dies. Sid doesn’t hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a call. It’s Irv. “So there is an afterlife! What’s it like?” Sid asks. ‘Well, I sleep very late. I get up, have a big breakfast. Then I have sex, lots of sex. Then I go back sleep, but I get up for lunch, have a big lunch. Have some more sex. Take a nap. Huge dinner. More sex. Go to sleep, and wake up the next day.” “Oh, my god,” says Sid “So that’s what heaven is like?” “Oh no,” says Irv. “I’m not in heaven. I’m a bear in Yellowstone Park.”

—————————————–

A Jewish guy goes into a confession box. “Father O’Malley,” he says, “my name is Emil Cohen. I’m seventy eight years old. Believe it or not, I’m currently involved with a 28 year old girl, and also, on the side, her 19 year old sister. We engage in all manner of pleasure, and in my entire life I’ve never felt better.” “My good man,” says the priest, “I think you’ve come to the wrong place. Why are you telling me?” And the guy goes: “I’m telling everybody!”

Sunday Morning Funnies! | BlogsCanada.ca

Saturday Morning Confusion about Newt Gingrich! | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 07:37:00 PST

Dear Readers;

Foret all the pundits predictions.

Forget that he yelled at two debate moderators for asking him personal questions this week.

Forget that he has jumped about 20 percentage points in the polls.

Now that Chuck Norris has endorsed him in a meditative World Net Daily piece, Mit Romney and Ron Paul don’t have a chance!.

Newt Gingrich is going to win the South Carolina presidential primary.

Just remember folks, if Chuck Norris is endorsing him, he must be a winner.

And that’s as big a joke as The GOP race in the first place!

Saturday Morning Confusion about Newt Gingrich! | BlogsCanada.ca

Mid Week Mayhem – Macho urinal game makes a splash! | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 05:34:00 PST

Dear Readers;

Just when ya thought you’ve heard it all. (I love these types of stories.)

A new video game from Japan is about to hit our shores and it’s a real pisser! You play it in the toilet at your favourite bar.

Users target their urine at a sensor inside the toilet which measures volume and speed, with software then matching that to progress in a selection of five video games in a console mounted at the top of the urinal.

Go figure!

——————————————————

TOKYO (Reuters) – Three years ago the “Toylet” was just a pipe-dream for developers at Japanese video game maker Sega, but now the urinal video game has been rolled out at pubs across the nation.

“At first, we thought it would really be only young people who would like this kind of game. But … we’re seeing this phenomenon where people are enjoying playing with it, regardless of age,” said Hirotaka Machida, the console’s lead producer.

At 150,000 yen (1,295.17 pound) for a single unit, Machida said the original plan had been to avoid the mass market, but tests in pubs and restaurants showed it had broad appeal.

An infra-red device cuts off play if gamers stray too far from the urinal, reducing the amount of mess, according to Sega, making it a hit with pub managers as well.

Toilet humour and raunchy gags are a staple of far from high-brow variety shows in Japan where Toylets were rolled out on general release.

Sega now has its sights on a global expansion plan later in the year.

(Reporting by Ruairidh Villar; Editing by Elaine Lies and Nick Macfie)

http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/offbeat/12659007/macho-urinal-game-makes-a-splash-in-japan/

Mid Week Mayhem – Macho urinal game makes a splash! | BlogsCanada.ca

Sunday Morning Funnies! | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 18:32:00 PST

A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?” The husband says, “What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?” A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, the car won’t start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?” He says: “What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?” Another few days go by, and it’s raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, “Honey, there’s a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?” He says, “What do I look like, Bob Vila?” The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. “Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them,” she says. “Great! How much is that going to cost me?” he snarls. Wife says: “Nothing. He said he’d do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him.” “Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?” asks the husband. “What do I look like,” she says, “Betty Crocker?”

——————————————————————-

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”The boy takes the quarters and leaves.“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

————————————————————————–

It’s Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. “No” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.” “This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?” The neighbor says, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven’t been to together since we got married.” “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible… But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?” The man shakes his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.”

——————————————————–

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, “What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.” “I don’t need to outrun the bear,” the first guy says. “I just need to outrun you.”

———————————————————————-

A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in shit up to their necks. The guy says “no, let me see the next room.” In the second room, people are standing with shit up to their noses. Guy says no again. Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. People are standing with shit up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating danish pastries. The guy says, “I pick this room.” Satan says okay and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, “O.K., coffee break’s over. Everyone back on your heads!”

———————————————————-

On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight.. Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, he says to his co-pilot, “What would relax me right now is a cup of coffee and a blowjob.” All the passengers hear it. As a stewardess immediately begins to run toward the cockpit to tell the pilot of his slip-up, one of the passengers stops her and says “Don’t forget the coffee!”

———————————————–

A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: “Paint…my…house.”

—————————————————————

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. “I’ll go into town for a doctor,” the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. “I can’t leave,” the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground.” The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?” the victim asks. “He says you’re gonna die.”

Sunday Morning Funnies! | BlogsCanada.ca

Saturday Morning Confusion #2 Snow fails to deter Friday the 13th revellers! | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 06:57:00 PST

PORT DOVER, Ont. – Whatever the weather on Friday the 13th, Port Dover can always count on a good crowd and a good party.

The large number of people who came to the lakeside for the first of three Friday the 13th motorcycle rallies this year proved that the event has irresistible drawing power. There was a wintry change in the weather the night before, but that didn’t keep people away. Nor did it keep motorcycles off the road.

“It’s no different that riding a skidoo – just a lot more fun,” said Dean VanKuik of Bolton, Ont., a member of the Canadian Ural Russian Dnepr Riders Group. “We’re out on our bikes all the time. We have a Polar Bear ride every Jan. 1. We have events and rallies all year around. This is just another excuse for us to get out and ride.”

Peter Pacos of Fredonia, New York, came to town wearing a bison-skin great coat.

“I’m a die-hard biker,” he said. “Wherever there’s a biker party, I’m there.”

Motorcycle enthusiasts have been coming to Port Dover every Friday the 13th since 1981. A well-attended rally during the nice weather will attract as many as 150,000 people and 15,000-plus motorcycles to the lakeside community of 6,000.

The small town is expecting large crowds at the next two Friday the 13th rallies this year in April and July.

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2012/01/13/19243396.html

Saturday Morning Confusion #2 Snow fails to deter Friday the 13th revellers! | BlogsCanada.ca

Saturday Morning Confusion, OR, ‘I was told to move to the back of bus because I smelt of cigarettes’ | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 04:14:00 PST

By Neco Cockburn

OTTAWA — A female passenger claims she was asked to move to the back of an Ottawa bus by the driver because she smelt of cigarettes.

OC Transpo, the group responsible for Ottawa’s transport system, continues to investigate after Misty Parent complained that she felt “harassed” by the alleged incident.

Parent, who was commuting to her job at a shelter on Tuesday, says she has usually finished her second or third cigarette of the day by the time the Route 178 bus pulls up to her stop near Meridian Place and Tallwood Drive at about 6:10 a.m.

However, on Tuesday she was running late, “so I was puffing away on my cigarette and (the driver) saw it,” she said.

The driver “let me on, he pulled up a bit to where my cigarette was. He looked at it, he stopped, and he was like, ‘Can you come here?’

“I said, ‘OK.’ … He says, ‘I need you to move to the back of the bus because you smell of cigarette and I don’t like it,’” Parent said.

Parent, 29, said she refused to move. She usually stands at the front of the bus, she said, since her trip lasts only a handful of stops before she transfers.

She has taken the same bus for a year and a half, “and not one bus driver has ever complained about it,” Parent said, adding that the driver appeared to be new to the route.

After she refused to move, Parent said the driver told her they would have “issues” the following day. When she left the bus, he told her that “I don’t think you would like to smell that in your workplace” before driving away, she said.

On Wednesday morning, the same driver did not say anything to Parent when she boarded, but after they arrived at the station, another OC Transpo employee got on the bus and stated that the driver wanted her to move back “because the driver doesn’t like the smell of smoke,” she said.

Parent again refused and a discussion continued until her connecting bus arrived, she said.

Parent said she twice called OC Transpo to make a complaint and to ask whether she was required to move back.

“It doesn’t make much sense. You work with the public, I’m sure you smell lots of different smells. I’m only on the bus for a matter of maybe four or five minutes. I just feel like I’m being discriminated because I smoke,” Parent said.

“For any smoker there’s a smoker smell. Are they going to start asking all smokers to move to the back of the bus?”

City spokeswoman Jocelyne Turner said Ottawa bus drivers are not permitted to ask passengers to move back on a bus because they smell of cigarette smoke or any other odour.

“Drivers request passengers move to the back of the bus to make room for other passengers who are boarding, to clear their sight lines, or to find an available seat,” but are not allowed to do so because of smell, Turner wrote on Thursday in an email.

The head of the union representing OC Transpo bus drivers said there should be no problem with an operator politely requesting someone to move back on a bus because of such a smell.

“People should adhere to it without complaining,” said Garry Queale, president of the Amalgamated Transit Union, Local 279. A driver could have allergies or asthma, he said.

As well, passengers have complained about drivers wearing strong perfume or cologne, Mr. Queale said, “so it’s a two-way street. People should realize that.”

Mr. Queale said he was not familiar with Ms. Parent’s case and her allegations, but generally speaking, a driver has a work space “and people should adhere to his area.”

Parent said other drivers on the route have been “phenomenal” and her only other incident with a bus driver happened on another route a few months ago when she was on a full bus with her son, who was in a stroller. Another stroller was also present and a person in a wheelchair got on, which led to a debate about who had priority, she said.

Parent said the other stroller ended up moving and she called OC Transpo to ask about the hierarchy for strollers and wheelchairs.

Smoking and smoking bans have been popular topics in Ottawa in recent months, although not directly related to the issue of smoke caught on clothing or other so-called “third-hand” smoke that gets trapped and builds up over time in skin, hair, fabric, furniture and other items.

On its website, the Canadian Lung Association describes third-hand smoke as “a new name for an old problem — the toxic chemicals in smoke that stick around even after the smoker has put out the cigarette, cigar, or pipe.”

http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/01/13/smoker-told-to-move-to-the-back-of-ottawa-bus-because-she-smelt-of-cigarettes/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+NP_Top_Stories+%28National+Post+-+Top+Stories%29&utm_content=My+Yahoo

Saturday Morning Confusion, OR, ‘I was told to move to the back of bus because I smelt of cigarettes’ | BlogsCanada.ca

Just how much do the cops know about us? | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 16:35:00 PST

The story I’m going to tell you will cause panic if you’re at all concerned about Canada turning into a police state.

We here in North America go through life pitifully unaware of just how much the authorities are watching our every move.

Oh, It’s not like Great Britain where they have CCTV cameras on just about every corner, but it’s not too far off!

On Monday afternoon a friend’s daughter was on her way to work the afternoon shift at her downtown London company when she had a minor fender-bender with another car at a stoplight. It was no big deal, she just rolled forward while waiting for the light to change and gently bumped the car in front of her.

This “accident” didn’t cause any damage and since she was in heavy traffic, she just continued on her way and went to work.

What she didn’t realize was that the woman whom she bumped called the cops and reported her license number, and also said she got a sore neck from the impact. (Whiplash? The whole thing was a bunch of crap, but since there was a report of personal injury the cops had to investigate!)

NOW, HERE’S THE RUB, BUNKY!

This girl is an extremely private person and has had no previous contact with the police at any time. On top of that, nobody where she lives knows anything about her!

SO! How come about one hour after this whole thing started the cops showed up at her place of employment to question her?

You see my point?

No one knows her, no one knows anything about her, and they only have a license plate number which would only give her name and address. (And no one at her apartment building knows anything about her!)

This doesn’t make sense, folks! Unless the cops have a secret database on ALL OF US, they would have no way of knowing where to find her if she wasn’t at home!

Would they?

Your “ever concerned” writer;

Allan W Janssen

Just how much do the cops know about us? | BlogsCanada.ca

Mid Week Mayhem. North to Alaska! | BlogsCanada.ca

noreply@blogger.com (Allan) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 06:20:00 PST

Dear Readers;

While most of Canada, and especially South West Ontario, have seen little or no winter yet, that’s not the case when we go north to Alaska!

Extreme winter weather has left one Alaskan town battling huge snowdrifts and forced another to seek fuel supplies from a Russian tanker.

National Guard troops are in Cordova, helping the town dig out after fresh snowfalls on Tuesday added to the 18ft (5.5m) that has fallen since November.

A US Coast Guard icebreaker and a Russian tanker are trying to resupply Nome, cut off by thick sea ice.

The town is running out of fuel after a previous storm blocked a shipment.

The US ship, the Healy, is attempting to cut a path through thick ice in the Bering Sea, ahead of the Russian tanker Renda which is carrying 1.3 million gallons (4.9 million litres) of oil.

Shifting ice up to 3ft thick in the area is hindering the process, forcing the ice-breaker to double back to recut the path.

The scale of the mission is unprecedented for the US Coast Guard in the Arctic, Commander Greg Tlapa told the Associated Press.

If they succeed, they would be the first ships to make a delivery to western Alaska in the depths of winter.

Coast Guard spokesman David Mosley said the two vessels were less than 100 miles (160km) from Nome on Tuesday afternoon, having covered 53 miles on Monday.

A severe autumn storm prevented the usual pre-winter delivery of fuel before the town was iced in and cut off until spring.

Temperatures regularly drop below zero Fahrenheit (-18 C) in January.

The resupply effort also needed to clear bureaucratic hurdles – a waiver was needed to allow a non-US ship to deliver the goods.

Flying in the fuel would be possible but extremely expensive, Nome officials say.

‘Epic snowfall’

In Cordova, a fishing town only accessible by air and water in winter, fresh snow on Tuesday added to the burden of the town’s 2,200 residents.

Dozens of National Guard soldiers are helping dig out drifts in order to keep municipal buildings, including the hospital, open and make sure residents can leave their homes.

Earlier heavy falls of snow were followed over the weekend by rain that weighed down the snow, creating dangerous conditions.

Pressure on the ice is so great that the icebreaker has needed to circle back to reopen the path

Some roofs in the town have collapsed or caved in under the weight of up to 7ft of snow.

“This is epic. This is snow in amounts and weights that we are not used to and it’s difficult to handle,” Wendy Rainy, who works in the Orca Adventure Lodge in Cordova, told the BBC.

“The road to our airport has been closed again due to danger of avalanche and when there’s high winds, the boats cannot dock in Cordova, so I’d have to say pretty much at this point we’re cut off.”

John Madden, the director of Alaska’s division of homeland security and emergency management, told the BBC that Tuesday’s storm meant crews would unlikely to be able to get back to work until the weekend.

Drifts from the pitched roof of one restaurant slid off and broke the roof of a back shed. A bank building also suffered a interior buckled wall.

No injuries have been reported so far in the town, but Alaska officials state of emergency was declared on Friday. National Guard troops arrived on Sunday to begin digging out.

Sunday’s arrival also included a snow-melting machine, and equipment to help dig out the buildings at greatest risk.

Cordova is estimated to have received 18ft to 20ft of snow in the past 60 days, Mr Madden said.

“It’s the right time of the year for storms, but we have had so many”, he said, adding that the town has been hit by three separate storms within the past seven days.

“The only thing we’re really lacking is – there’s not a snow shovel left in town,” Allen Marquette, a city spokesman told the Alaska Dispatch newspaper.

The town has put in an order with a manufacturer after no shovels could be found in Anchorage, Fairbanks and other cities, Associated Press news agency said.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-16495880

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Dear Readers;

WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
WTP: Where’s The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil
GGLKI: Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In

ATD: At The Doctor’s
BFF: Best Friend Farted
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth

CBM: Covered By Medicare
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers

FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again

HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor

LWO: Lawrence Welk’s On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROFL… CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing… And Can’t Get Up

SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?

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Dear Readers;

WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again WTP: Where’s The Prunes? WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil GGLKI: Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In

ATD: At The Doctor’s BFF: Best Friend Farted BTW: Bring The Wheelchair BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth

CBM: Covered By Medicare CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center DWI: Driving While Incontinent FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers

FWIW: Forgot Where I Was FYI: Found Your Insulin GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low! GHA: Got Heartburn Again

HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On? LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out LOL: Living On Lipitor

LWO: Lawrence Welk’s On OMMR: On My Massage Recliner OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas. ROFL… CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing… And Can’t Get Up

SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop TTYL: Talk To You Louder WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?

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Mid Week Mayhem. North to Alaska! | BlogsCanada.ca

WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
WTP: Where’s The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil
GGLKI: Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In

ATD: At The Doctor’s
BFF: Best Friend Farted
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth

CBM: Covered By Medicare
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers

FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again

HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor

LWO: Lawrence Welk’s On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROFL… CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing… And Can’t Get Up

SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?