Forget Regret...

Five on Friday: The Kindergarten Reading Edition

2017-08-11T12:32:00.003-07:00

Only 17 more days until school.

My first born goes to school this year. Did you hear that, World? My baby is going to school! I'm not an emotional mom (to say the least), but I think every new Kindergarten mother must feel something similar welling up inside. This desire to shout, "Hey, STOP the presses. Something momentous has happened." Call a holiday and hand me some Kleenax because somehow, impossibly, my tiny baby is now a REAL BOY. "

17 days. He's counting down with such excitement, and I'm counting down right there with him...but with a million more emotions mixed in.

We've had a great summer- marrying off Uncle Grant, learning to swim, welcoming visitors week after week, and exploring the orchards and the vineyards and the trails of Central Virginia. But one of the most memorable parts of our summer has been plowing through our stack of Kindergarten library books. Some he's read and others I've read to him, but I'm so grateful for our school's summer reading goals that kept us immersed in classic books all summer long.

Our top five Kindergarten books to date are:

1. My Father's Dragon- My children were mesmerized by this one. This is a chapter book that we read together, and it is the perfect little boy adventure book. The animals on Wild Island are all trying to eat the little boy, so needless to say, it may be a little scarier for younger kiddos. And, you definitely know a book is inspiring when you find the children spontaneously acting out scenes from the story!

Apparently, this book is part of a trilogy, so we'll be picking up book two on our next trip to the library.

Acting out the last chapter of My Father's Dragon

2. Sword in the Tree- Another little boy chapter book. This takes place during the mythical reign of King Arthur, and according to my father, it is never too early for a boy to fall in love with all things Camelot. Once again, there are some scary elements to this story, but my Kindergartner absolutely loved it. We read the whole second half of the book in one sitting because he begged to keep going, and he even predicted a surprise ending that I didn't see coming!

3. Nate the Great- Detective books are another winner in our house! Our most recent Kiwi Crate craft box was Secret Agent themed, so this book went perfectly with the new interest in spies and detectives. I loved how this book was simple enough for Preston to read alone, but the simple style went perfectly with the cool-guy spy vibe.

4. If You Take a Mouse to School- This book was popular with both our boys. Simple and silly and school-themed. Not as good as If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, but still a fun one.

5. The Napping House- Preston says this was NOT one of his favorite books from the summer reading list, but that's probably only because he has read it a hundred times before. Both boys have loved this one, and it's another one that's easy enough for a new reader to tackle on his own.

What are your favorite summer reading books for little boys?? I can't wait to hear! Happy Summer Reading!

Nightly Reading with Daddy

Reading with your friends amongst the vino at the gourmet grocery. Classic childhood memory, right?!

Cute little reader

Precocious little bibliophile.

Space reads in your Space pjs.

Reading backstage at the ballet.

Reading with visiting friends. It's never too early to start!

More visitors. More sleepovers. More BOOKS!

Five on Friday: 2017 Reading Kids' Edition

2017-03-03T17:13:00.000-08:00

I remember when a 7-month old Preston showed no interest in his board books. He would push them out of the way...or chew them. I was devastated. I like to think that I am not a neurotic mom, but I had a total neurotic mom moment convincing myself that he would hate reading and my dreams of reliving my book-saturated childhood were doomed forever.

Holy Moly.

Thankfully, I regained my sanity and it turned out our eldest child actually is a lover of language (jury is still out on Parks boy #2). We spend a lot of time reading in our house, and we've sort of organically developed a reading rhythm that includes five parts. The book basket is a new tradition that I am trying out, so we'll see how on top of that I can stay.

1. The Book Basket- Now that we have a home with a playroom, I am trying to keep our small living room that I am trying to keep "adult friendly." No toys are kept there except for this small basket, which I am TRYING to update monthly. In January, I included a few non-Christmas winter books, potty training books, and manners books. In case you are wondering on titles, my FAVORITE preschool non-Christmas winter book is Snowy Day (Ezra Jack Keats). For potty training, all books are ridiculous, case-in-point - our current obsession Chugga Chugga Poo Poo (what has my life come to?!?!). For manners, Preston is reading this fabulous book from the 1930s called "How to Behave and Why." Oh, the good old days!

For February, we continued with manners (Berenstain Bears!), some bi-lingual Spanish books for kids, and a book of goofy Valentine poems. In March, I was hoping for a few books on Spring and maybe some poetry- ummm, NOPE, we ended up with Outerspace and Monster Trucks (shoot. me. now.) BOYS!!

2. Night-time Read Aloud with Daddy- Daddy is a rockstar and does bedtime EVERY. NIGHT. I mean- wow. It makes me almost* forgive him when he forgets to take out the trash....

Right now, the boys are working through their first big chapter book with daddy- Charlotte's Web. Preston seems to like it, but Everett mostly plays with cars under his bed while Daddy reads.

3. Bible Time- We finished our second or third time through The Big Picture Story Book Bible (our FAVE!), so now they are switching back and forth between Everything a Child Should Know about God and another book of Bible stories.

4. Chapter Books with Mommy- We started reading the Magic Treehouse books, and the boys LOVE it! Everett loves anything intense or "scawwwy", so they are right up his alley. Preston can read the chapters, but gets tired after awhile and prefers I read to him. These are perfect because each book has 10 short chapters and plenty of pictures. But buyer beware, they are definitely INTENSE for preschoolers.

5. Independent reading- Sadly, Preston no longer naps 😢😢😢, but we still do "rest" time where he colors or reads or cuts paper into tiny little pieces and spreads it out all over his room....sigh....

The big transition to reading during nap time started with getting him books that came with CDs, so he could read along with the audio. Dr. Seuss and Thomas books are always favorites at rest time.

Five on Friday: New Year's Resolutions and Five Books that captured my Imagination in 2016

2017-01-06T07:20:00.000-08:00

I've always been a resolution-maker, but rarely a resolution-keeper. I love lists and goals, but I seem to have trouble finishing them. I love big ideas and new projects, but I hate being responsible for making them happen. Can I get an "Amen" from the chorus- can anyone else relate?

My nightstand at the beginning of 2016

One of my recent resolutions last year was to delve deeper into the wonderful world of podcasts (I've loved Dave Ramsey and Freakanomics for years, but that's about as far as I've gone). I listened to a series of called Personality Hacker, and I discovered, with much vindication, that all these years I've been wrong about my personality type. And it was so liberating to hear them describe my type (ENTP if you are wondering): "You love new projects, but you get bored 20% of the way in, but because you aren't a quitter you power through 60% more....but that last 20% is just impossible for you because you've been bored so d*mn long."

YES! YES! YES!

Anyways, last year, I decided that if I was going to rekindle my love of reading actual books, and not just news articles and blog posts, I needed a plan. It's amazing what a girl can accomplish with a spreadsheet, access to libraries and amazon prime :).

And while I've not gotten even close to finish all my books and there are some I may have changed my mind about, the difference is that they are now RIGHT THERE, just like the internet!! I've found that is easier to read blog posts because they are always available, so if I really want to read, I need to make the books available at anytime JUST LIKE THE OLD DAYS. Eons ago, before smart phones, I used to keep a book in my purse, I remember reading it in line at the grocery store or the bank and even once in awhile during really atrocious traffic jams (don't judge:)). As a kid, I even used to read in the shower!

So, if you need some ideas on books to keep in your purse with your iphone, here's a peak at some of my favorites from last year:

Truly, Madly, Guilty, Big Little Lies, The Hypnotist's Love Story and The Last Anniversary (by Liane Moriarty): I can't believe I read four books by the same author in one year! Moriarty is my favorite "fluff" author right now. If you haven't read her other books, I suggest starting with What Alice Forgot or The Husband's Secret. They are all mystery books with a lighthearted style and not too sadistic (unlike other popular mysteries like Girl on the Train and Gone Girl, which were fabulous but too dark for my tastes). These are great for the beach, the plane, or just a mental break.

Between the World and Me (by Ta-Nehisi Coats): The author of this book won a Macarthur Genius award for this work and the media has been raving about the memoir, so I felt like I needed to check it out. I'm glad I did because it was an insightful look into his life in Baltimore as "a child of the black power movement." Such a timely issue! However, the conclusions of this book are depressing as the author suggests their is no healing, forgiveness or hope for the future and advises his son to never forget he is the "victim of trans-atlantic rape."

Station 11 (by Emily St. John Mandel): Futuristic dystopian novels have been my favorite genre since I was a kid (issues. i know.) This was a fantastic read. It reminded me a bit of The Road, but I liked Station 11 even better.

Wednesday Wars So my second favorite genre (if it can be called that) is young adult. This book was everything you hope for in young adult fiction- funny, poignant, and so reminiscent of the common American "school days" experience. I think I enjoyed this more as an adult than any kid could appreciate.

Boys Adrift (Dr. Leonard Saxe)- A MUST-READ for parents' of boys. I was basically horrified while reading this book. I desperately want to train up my boys to be true men in a world of stunted man-boys, and it feels like modernity is doing it's best to thwart that goal at every turn. Dr. Saxe covers five topics that lead to underachieving men: medications, video games, modern teaching methods, the devaluation of masculinity and environmental toxins. What became abundantly clear is that the training up of men starts NOW. From the very beginning. I am encouraged that, though the obstacles are abundant, there are ways to lead our boys towards being strong, respectful, motivated, God-fearing men. More books on that topic top my list for 2017!

Other books I remember reading in 2016 (mom brain fog means I can't remember a whole year back!): Love Warrior (thoughtful in it's diagnosis, vapid in it's prescription), Man in the High Castle (disappointing- like almost all revisionist historical fiction I've read), Commonwealth (not as good as her Bel Canto but, like all books by Ann Patchett, still compelling fiction), Anne of Green Gables (always a good one), Wonder (different and suspenseful in a slow, but delightful kind of way), Essentialism, The Martian (yay sci-fi! nay for excessive scientific explanations!), The Fault in our Stars (good, but not phenomenal like some of the reviews), The Knockoff (I felt myself getting dumber just reading this, but I. Couldn't. Stop.:))

Stay tuned for my 2017 reading list!

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Baby Samanda 3.0: A Labor of Love

2016-12-23T13:13:00.001-08:00

Hello, world!

No name yet. Typical.

Let's make faces together!

Bro love

It's rough being the third!

8 weeks!

Can a guy have too many reindeer hats??

Answer: No!

Helpers

You know it's been a busy year when the first (and probably last) blog post you write is in December! Yikes!

The most joyful surprise in this season of change is Baby Samanda 3.0. Here is his birth story:

Asher Thomas Parks

Usually women write their birth stories starting with labor- those hours of intense pain, emotion and at long last, joy. When I look back on Asher's birth story, I will always think of it as nine months of exhausting and painful waiting. Waiting for joy.

It was a hard season. We stood by friends as they lost loved parents, spouses, and children. We agonized as people we loved faced financial difficulties and fought for broken relationships. We scrambled to make life work as I finished grad school, Sam started a new job, and we made our first move with children to a new state. We agonized and willed that baby to stay in my belly during the month we lost our health insurance.

As I struggled physically (hello pelvic separation!) and mentally with severe insomnia, I feared that we just might not be able to do it. I feared that I wouldn't make it to his birth. It felt like we couldn't go on.

Finally, at 38 weeks on the dot, I started getting contractions. They lasted all night. Closer and closer together. Sam and I jumped into action with excitement- the end is HERE! We packed our bags, loaded the kids in the car and headed to the OB for a check. And the contractions stopped.

One whole long week ensues.

The next weekend, my pelvic pain intensifies. I told Sam that the pain was so bad I felt like there was something wrong with the way the baby was positioned and that maybe I needed to go to the ER for medication. You would think after having two other babies, I would know what labor feels like, but it turns out all labor is NOT created equal!

After chatting with my OB, it she suggests that this pain could be a form of super low contractions. No back pain, no tightening, just a stabbing feeling every 3 minutes!

So off to the races we went! We threw the "big boys" in the car and raced to the hospital. Sam's buddy (thank you a million times, Dave and Karol!!) met us in the parking lot and took the kiddos while I waddled into the delivery ward. And waited 10 minutes while the checked me in. Then walked myself down a long hallway. Then waited while the WEIGHED AND MEASURED ME. You guys- is this normal?!?! I was beginning to feel the rage swell from within. And then, the last straw.

Nurse appears. "Umm, you're 8 centimeters, would you be ok with skipping the epidural? The doctor and anesthesiologist are doing a c-section right now."

Let's just say that Sam later confessed that he was afraid of me in the minutes that ensued.

Needless to say, they got the back-up guy out of bed, and he came in for the epidural. An hour later, I pushed for seven minutes and we met our THIRD sweet baby boy! He looked like a giant- all 8 lbs and 4 oz's of him (the others were 6 1/2 pounds).

Asher is almost 3 months old now and has amazingly fit right into our family life. He is named after one of the 12 tribes of Israel, and Asher means "happy/blessed." And, his middle name is in honor of our dear friend, neighbor and mentor who passed away before he could meet our youngest son.

Stitch Fix: An update and help me decide!

2015-12-21T13:36:00.000-08:00

I feel like I owe a follow-up on Stitch Fix. In case you haven't heard of it- it's a service where you fill out your style preferences online and then a box of five items magically appears at your door.

And after trying several more "fixes" since my last post, I think the most unmagical thing about it is the prices.

I love the idea of someone else picking out my clothes for me. I don't have the time, energy or patience for it (plus central PA is not known for it's stylish clothing options). And to be fair, I feel like every box has had some fun options in it, but there were a lot of just so-so options or pieces that really didn't fit me.

I gave it one last try this month when they sent me a free credit (I caved to marketing!). Can you help me decide which item to keep from this box? I hate the dolman shirt on the bottom, and the cardigan and earrings in the middle are just boring. So, I'm trying to decide between the pink shirt the polka dot dress (there is a little cut-out in the back, which I attempted to capture in the picture before falling over :)). The price difference between the two is only 6 bucks...what do ya'll think (please forgive my crappy camera phone)?

Yikes! I can't handle the explosion of selfies!

My biggest Stitch Fix takeaways are:

1. Their customer service rocks! I had one box that just didn't live up to expectations, and they took the whole thing back without charging me the styling fee (you get charged $20 for them to ship the box, but it goes towards any of the items you keep)! Also, I've been late mailing fixes back a few times (you have 3 days to send back the items you don't want), and they have been super understanding. These two things alone lead me to recommend to friends that Stitch Fix is worth a try.

2. The dresses seem like the best deal. Most of the time, the dresses are only slightly more expensive than the tops, which doesn't make sense to me. One exception was this skirt that was a ridiculous $70 bucks! (SO SAD because it fit awesome)

3. While the stylists seem to kind of listen to my advice and wants, I'm always a bit confused by some of the pieces. I don't feel like they've really figured me out yet and it's been four boxes. But then again, maybe I'm just stylistically challenged :). One can't expect miracles!! My favorite item that I've kept is this sweater- I never would have picked it out in a store, but I've worn it about every other day this fall. I loved the jeans too, but ONCE AGAIN, they were way too pricey for me.

Overall, Stitch Fix is fun if you have a little extra money to burn and you want to change up your style. Usually I just throw sweaters in my cart at Target as I'm headed to the diaper aisle, so the experiment has been fun. And of course, if you want to give it a try yourself, use my referral link (and I'll get a discount on my next fix!)

Five on Friday: Advent and Four other Christmas Book Favorites

2015-12-11T06:26:00.000-08:00

Christmas reading with one of our favorite friends

It may be SIXTY degrees today, but Christmas is in full swing at the Parks' household. Call me crazy, but if this is global warming, I am LOVING it! I'm also loving celebrating the season of advent as we anticipate Christmas.

A million intense and crazy things are swirling around in this world and in our communities of friends, but in this season of Advent we turn our eyes to that which is greater. I, for one, am enjoying this turn in attention- this shift of focus away from confusion and fear to focus on Hope and Truth. I invite you to join us in this season of waiting, of longing, of HOPE in the coming of One who delivers us from all this sin and sadness in our world.

This year I keep thinking of the Israelites who lived in Jesus's day. Can you imagine living in Israel and hearing ancient stories of this long-expected deliverer and then one day hearing that He had arrived? That he was actually HERE? That God had come to earth in THIS place and THIS time? I would have probably found it unbelievable- wanting it to be true, but not quite being able to let myself believe it. It is sort of how I feel (and you may too) about our world today- waiting and longing for God to come to this place and fix it, to end the suffering, to end the grief, but not quite letting yourself believe that it will ever happen. Advent strips that away. It turns the cynic back to the promise and the promiser. One day all oppression WILL cease. It may be THIS day, in THIS place. And if not today, until then, we advent- waiting for that day.

If you are looking for an Advent book to read with the family, I listed the one we are using below. We also LOVE reading different Christmas books each day with the kiddos (some from the library, some we buy), so here are four other of our favorites for the 2 and 3-year-old crowd:

1) Unwrapping the Greatest Gift- I can recommend this book with a BIG caveat. The pictures are incredible. The scriptures and reading plan are great, but the prose is FLOWERY. It drives a certain dad in this household crazy, but I just skip three or four of the adjectives in every sentence and it works for me. Plus, our children seem to be enjoying it, so I think it's a win.

2) Humphrey's First Christmas- I love this grumpy camel! Humphrey grumps his whole way to Bethlehem and then has a change of heart when he meets Jesus. My kids think this is hilarious, and I feel like I can relate a little to well with Humphrey...

3) Snowmen at Christmas- This is such a fun, magical romperoo with the snowmen who come alive on Christmas Eve. Just try reading it without singing/rapping by the end...I dare you!

4. Dream Snow- Eric Carle is master of the simple, yet captivating. Even toddlers will like this one (at least the two I know did :))

5. Who is Coming to Our House? Animals + rhyming +advent (that pesky rat doesn't believe Jesus will ever come) I think this one just might be my favorite!

Why Stitch Fix is actually kind of cool (even if you're "cheap")

2015-09-10T18:23:00.001-07:00

I never ever thought I would try Stitch Fix. As one friend said to me, "I can't believe you tried it! You're as cheap as me!"

And she's right. Paying full-price gives me heart palpitations. So, I figured I owed it to my other skeptical frugal friends to tell them I LOVED my first Stitch Fix box.

Basically, Stitch Fix is the poor man's personal shopper. You fill out a style profile, fill in measurements, give them your price range and tell your stylist what kind of clothes you are looking for (you can even link a pinterest board of clothes you like). Then you pay a $20 styling fee that goes towards any of the items you buy, and they send you five "hand-picked" items.

So, what drove me to these desperate un-frugal measures?!

Three big frustrations with clothes shopping:

1. Time away from family- I usually have 5 stops to make when I escape for errands, so my clothes shopping consists of zipping my cart through the clothes at Target on my way to the sippy cup aisle or picking through rows of hideous mc hammer pants and crop tops in the junior department at Kohls.

2. Finding Flexible Outfits- I don't want two sets of outfits, but I can't teach university classes in yoga pants and I can't crawl around after my kids in pencil skirts.

3. Petite selections are lame! Vanity sizing has pushed me out of the smallest women's sizes, so at just a smidgen over five feet tall, I feel like I am stuck in the junior department for life. Call me crazy, but I don't want to walk around in booty shorts and wife beaters over a bandeau top (why do the 80s refuse to go away?!). Sometimes I find a decent piece or two at the Loft, but their department is small and return policies are lame.

So,when I heard that Stitch Fix started carrying petite sizes, I decided to give it a shot.

I figured that worse case scenario- I hate all the items and then beg/demand they refund my money (not like I haven't done such things before ;)).

VERDICT???

Let's start with the bad:

Sam called the shirt on the left "kind of cute in a jailbird kind of way." Verdict: Send Back

I hated the dress on the right. It made me think of a maternity dress (shudder!). Verdict: Send Back

But, the next three were much, much better:

I really liked the sweater on the left (please ignore how large my head looks in that pic). It was a great fit, funky but not juvenile, and it was relatively warm so pretty versatile. Verdict: Sent back (I think???)

The shirt on the right was in contention as well until Sam said, "I don't really like the fit. Or the style. Or the color." What a downer! Verdict: Sent Back

And finally, the shirt I decided to keep:

It's just a teal sleeveless shirt, but the fit is perfection! The material is versatile, and I love the classy scallop around the neckline and sleeves. Verdict: Keep!

So, the real question is, will I try it again? I think I will. The prices were a little painful (ranging from $38-$58), but I would much rather buy one shirt that fits and I feel great in than purchase three clearance tops that I hate three months from now (Kon Mari method anyone?? :)). I feel like I can honestly say it's worth a shot even for the mammas who are cheap like me;).

(If you want to give stitch fix,I would love it if you sign up with my referral link here because then I get a discount next time I order!)

Sending Season

2015-08-21T13:15:00.001-07:00

As the semester winds up in just a few days, we are once again winding down on our annual "Sending Season."

The rhythms of the school calendar are one of them many, many things I love about academia. However, I've grown to dread the period of time in mid to late summer every year when we pack moving vans, throw farewell BBQs and bid farewell to another set of dear friends.

I love to send these dear ones out to follow the dreams that take them to all corners of the country.

I love that I have friends who are artists and scientists and ministers and that their talents are blessing the world.

I love that I have a whole new set of cities where people I love will let me crash for a night.

But, selfishly, I want them all to stay right here.

I want to be with "my people." These friends are the friends that watch our kids, make us meals, sleep on our couch when we go to the hospital to have a baby, bring us toys and say prayers when we take in foster kids, share books and movies and struggles and tears. These are the friends that tell me my Christmas tree needs more lights or that my kid needs a spanking. These are the friends who bake cookies for my birthday and pick up emergency diet coke for a bad day. These are the friends I want to hang on to forever.

And, these are the friends that year after year I say good-bye to. Last night I sat and thought about all the women that I have shared life with enough that I could call them for help at anytime and not feel weird. At least Thirteen. Thirteen dear sweet friends. Not all of them besties, but all of them kindred spirits who I knew cared for me and my family. Thirteen blessings and thirteen bittersweet good-byes.

Every year we send them off into the big, big world and pray that the friendship survives the distance. Every year we stay here and pray for new friends to come along and fill the void.

Some of this Summer's most notable good-byes:

Poli Sci Nerds

The fabulous Evans

Hey single ladies- he babysits and the kids love him! ;)

Ultimate Frenemies

Soltoff- Super Friend AND Mary Poppins Extraordinaire

Have Kids, Will Travel

2015-07-21T12:44:00.002-07:00

Where have we been?

The same as you, I suspect. Busy with life. We spent the winter hunkered with work and school and sick kiddos, praying for energy and sunshine and rejuvenated souls.

But alas summer is in full swing (half gone already- say it isn't so!). We've put our travel shoes on and our lawn chairs out. We are ready to explore and create and relax.

After spending almost a year hunkered down in Central PA with tiny tots, we've started to get our travel mojo back with a few fun "trips" around the East. This week we prep for back to back road trips in a whirlwind tour of families.

This happened 5 hours and 45 minutes into a 6 hour flight...

I emphasize trips. Traveling to a conference ALONE with only a carry-on is VACATION (even if your presentation is at 8 a.m. and you spend a night in a hostel). Going anywhere with kids= trip. And, as my friend Beverly likes to say, "Vacations with kids is just parenting without all our stuff." Not sure if you are going on a vacation or a trip? Check out my favorite blog post of the summer for the hilarious guide (you will laugh, you will cry).

The Parks' family additions to the "you might be on a trip if" game:

- If you have to pack TWO pack and plays (both of which will be in sharing a room with you)- trip.

- If Chik-Fil-A breaks are strategically programmed into your GPS- trip.

- If you are laying by a pool, but there is a baby monitor under your lounge chair- trippity trip trip.

In the most ill-advised, but glorious adventure of the year for our clan, we actually attempted to take a trippity-trip trip across the country in an aiprlane with our two tots. As novice parent travelers, we learned a few things about air travel with babies:

1. It is worth the $25 extra to check a bag rather than lug a million carry-ons through the airport while your two toddlers drag their blankies and lovies through germ-infested airport halls. For the love of pete, why didn't I use my double stroller??!

2. There is a 97% chance your kid will get sick (see above for reason). Pack the drugs.

2. You can never have too many snacks. Don't think you can split that $7 airplane snack pack four ways, you will each end up with three almonds, a nibble of a fig bar and half a breath mint. Trust me.

4. Even though you packed 15 times more stuff than you did when you were childless, you will forget something (like an entire piece of luggage, perhaps?). Just remember, Target is everywhere and the sell everything (except glasses, sorry Sam :)).

5. If you have the most amazing, generous, hospitable friends in the entire world (like we do), it makes it ALLL worth it!

And beautiful friends in Monterey

Happy "Tripping" this summer my friends!

Beautiful Monterey

No really, blazzzzzing our way through Disney

And Disney won...

Mother's Day Glamping Trip to Deep Creek Lake

Daddy takes the boys to Philly to visit with cousins, while Mommy flies to Chicago to work and hang with the gals

First Friends: The End of A Bromance

2014-10-12T17:03:00.001-07:00

I've said good-bye many times in my life. And quite a few of those good-byes have been to friends who, for a season, felt like the sisters I never had. And, I swear the older I get, the harder it gets (which seems backward to me).

But, no good-bye has been harder than this first time I have to say it for my child.

A first best friend.

Do you remember yours?

Probably, if you are an oldest child (like me and like Preston), it was like having that twin or sibling you always wished for.

It was squealing with delight when you saw each other. It was running hand in hand. It was hours and hours of running or jumping or swimming. Tirelessly, laughing over the same activity that never got old because you were with your favorite friend.

At just over two, I doubt Preston will remember his first best friend. It truly was a special friendship.They say most toddlers don't really play with each other, just beside each other, but these two friends were different (we should have had researchers do a case study on them).

Preston and Monroe delighted in each other.

Kindred spirits.

Like Anne and Diana. Tom and Huck. David and Jonathan (ok maybe not quite Biblical-level bromance, but close)

The truth is that the series of life's events, choices, fortunes and misfortunes that put us in the same time and space as another person are a great mystery. Just a few more miles down the road or a few more months between these guys and their mammas may not have lived life in such close community.

I feel blessed to have been a part of watching such sweet, simple and blissful friendship.

I have a slew of fond memories of the two boys, but one of my favorites is the story their preschool teacher told me. She rounded a corner and found these tiny two-year-olds hand in hand grinning and singing Jesus Loves Me to each other (supposedly in tune to boot). Be still my mamma heart!

From the milestones to the mundane, here's a little trip down memory lane of the adventures of Roe-Roe and Preston:

One of Preston and Monroe's first meetings. So, it begins...

Monroe turns one! Preston doesn't know how he feels about it.

Preston turns One. These little men think that's as hilarious as their facial hair.

Sweet Summer! We love being ONE!

Memorial Day traditions.

Another Halloween! Don't forget the trains...

"Hey Preston, why do our moms like Target so much?"

"Hey Roe, what's it like to be two?" "Almost as good as this cupcake, P!"

We have fun MOST of the time!! Happy Memorial day!

Friends who bathe together, stay together

Soggy bottom boys.

A cold drink on a hot day with your best friend! Bliss!

Monroe turns three! Hooray!

Hey boys, these mommies love ya'll as much as they love each other!

These are the days sweet boys! Rejoice in the goodness!

Five on Fashion Friday

2014-06-06T06:15:00.000-07:00

1. I've already lost my first pair of sunglasses for the summer- on May 29th. I blame babies (you can always blame the babies).

2. Speaking of sunglasses, my husband looks pretty hot in Ray bans (did i even spell that right?). They were borrowed, and I think they cost more than my winter coat, but they were sweet for the day.

Please ignore weeping children. They were crying because we literally let them have too much fun. They will recover.

3. Rompers. For grown-ups. PEOPLE. Just say no. I've already raved about how much I love the Loft (mostly because I am old and now wear mom clothes, but also, they have an amazing petite selection), but much to my horror I got their most recent e-mail and saw this:

The Email title was "Rompers: they're for grown-ups, too." Lies Loft. Lies!

4. Sunscreen. That's fashion, right? (Clearly, I am not a fashion blogger. True confession: my hair is currently in a french braid. I love you too 1993). But, I am going to just plug two of my favorite resources. The environmental working group database puts out a yearly guide to effective sunscreens with safe ingredients. This year I am trying spray sunscreen from Aubrey Organic Kids (because California baby sunscreen was THIRTY EIGHT dollars on SALE). It could be awesome, but it could also go on like tar. Putting natural sunscreen on toddlers is one of my top five least favorite things about summer. I ordered the sunscreen from another one of my favorite resources, Vitacost (along with my ingredients for DIY remineralizing toothpaste. Don't ask. It's my well-suppressed crunchy side. I'll blog about it if doesn't turn out to be a miserable failure- which is about 98% likely.)

5. Speaking of sunglasses (again), check out THIS style:

Did I just write a whole blog post about sunglasses?

Five on Friday: Spring Edition

2014-05-09T12:31:00.002-07:00

Baby in a basket! Who doesn't want to celebrate Friday with that little elfin grin? Do ya'll still think he looks like Preston? I'm thinking not so much...

We are in the midst of the "Celebration Whirlwind" that comes every spring. Starting with my birthday at the end of April, then Mother's day, then Sam's birthday and three days later, our anniversary. By the time we get to Father's day, I end up throwing a card at Sam and telling him to cook himself a steak :).

So with the summer weather (80s- wahoo!) and celebrations, we are in cheerful and festive moods all around here. Some things we are enjoying this spring:

1. "Working" in the Yard together

On a whim, Grandma Melanie and I picked out this lawnmower for Preston's birthday. He has literally gotten hours of enjoyment from just pushing that plastic toy around the yard. I seriously do not understand the male brain...

"Working" in the garden.

Thomas is never far away...

2. Spring Creek Park

One of the best aspects of our house is that the laundry room and workshop are the same room...HA! Just kidding. No, our house can be frustrating, but the location is fantastic! The fabulous spring creek park is just two minutes away. We had our first muddy wading adventure of the season, and if you can measure fun in dirt on your body...well, a whole lot of fun was had!

I am also very excited about this park/beach/pool blanket I just got with my birthday money:

JJ cole blanket on Amazon

3. Brotherly Love

So, we attempted to get pictures of Preston and Everett together. They were not very compliant, as evidenced by this photo. Help me, mom! Granted, poor Everett had an ear infection. On a daily basis though, I love watching them interact. Everett cracks up at Preston and gets totally engrossed in what P is doing. And of course, Preston loves the attention from Everett. I'm hoping and praying they have a sweet brotherly bond for the rest of their days.

Can we just photoshop a smile on Everett?

4. Iced Coffee

Ahhh, finally time for iced coffee. I've just been sticking our leftover french press coffee in the fridge, and then pouring it over ice and copious amounts of creamer. But, I want to try this technique by the pioneer woman. Has anyone tried it?

5. Bonfires

We love our firepit in the spring and fall. It's not so much the fire, but the conversations the fire draws out. When we move to our next home, we would love put in new DIY firepit like this one (by we, I mean Sam):

The Grass Withers and the Flower Fadeth and your Twenties are Gone Forever...

2014-05-01T11:39:00.002-07:00

My 30^th birthday got superseded last year by the discovery that we were having a second baby. It took me a few months to recover from the shock, so I never got the opportunity to fully contemplate turning 30. And now, another birthday is here, and I feel like I should give my 20s the good-bye they deserve.

Honestly, if I think about the difference between my life at 20 and my life at 30, I wouldn’t go back for a second. Ok, maybe for a few seconds, but just enough time to read a book without getting interrupted by little people or finish a meal without little birdies asking for a bite. Oh, and I might throw on some pointe shoes, too - just for old time's sake.

I've seen a bunch of lists chronicling the things you should or should not do, have, or think by 30 (for laughs check out Glamour's list - hysterical!). So, there is probably nothing new here, but as I look back on my 20s there are a few thoughts and life lessons that stick out in particular. Some of them (many of them), I am still in the midst of exploring...

Ten Thoughts about your Twenties

1 1. Question your faith. But, don’t stop until you come to some conclusions…don’t cop out when it gets hard. For me this involved a lot of reading, but also spending a lot of time around people who were older and smarter and asked great questions. One of my favorite books on this topic is The Reason for God by Tim Keller.

2 2. Work in service. You’ll be a more gracious customer and probably a better tipper. Ok, don’t quit your electrical engineering gig to do this, but if you’re not in the “real job” phase yet, working in service is a major character-builder. Thank you Panera, Silver Lake Country Club, Max and Erma’s, Regal Cinemas, Perkins…

3 3. Get serious about your money. Someday you will be old and there are no guarantees that anyone else will help you. Not your friends. Not your family. Not your government. Step One: Get out of debt (sorry, that includes student loans J). If you've got a real job and a bunch of debt, than perhaps refer to the suggestion #2 and try a little moonlight waitressing. We aren't as hardcore as some, but let’s just say that we lived in our friends’ basement for a year to dig out of debt, and we still have a clothes dryer we picked up on the side of the road five years ago!

4. Fail at something. I tried golf…and tennis...need I go on? These are small things, but it’s ok to fail at bigger things, too. So you take that job overseas, and it doesn't work out. That’s ok! You can go back home , and you’ll have a great story someday.

5. Leave home. Leave your state. Even your country. Even if for just a season. You can go back. I’m not suggesting uprooting your whole life without a plan, but there is so much I didn't know that I didn't know until I stepped out of my “village.” And, I look forward to more adventures in the future.

6. Figure out an exercise program that works for you. Because someday you will wake up and your back will hurt and your triglycerides will be through the roof. I’m still working on this one. I love ballet, but I don’t have the time to invest in two hours away from home multiple times a week, so jogging it is (maybe). For me, I either want exercise I love or exercise I can get done quickly and efficiently!

7. .Repair a broken relationship. I've been on both ends of this one. It feels amazing. There are a few more serious apologies I owe to people out there, but life hasn't given me the opportunity. Hopefully, if I get the opportunity, I won’t be too chicken to take it!

8. Learn to believe the best in people’s actions. This is harder with some people than with others. This is my favorite thing about my relationship with my husband. He assumes the best in me 99% of the time.

9. Just be. Regularly. Turn off the phone. The TV. The music. Maybe grab a journal and light a candle. I’m not good at this. But when I do slow down, it is amazing how new ideas and inspiration just flow.

10. Learn to love, or at least like, kids. I was never a “kid” person. I hated babysitting. My MIL was terrified I wouldn’t give Sam any children. Thankfully, God changed my heart, and we have had two foster kiddos in our home and two bio babies. The reality is that if you don’t have children, your brothers or sisters or cousins or friends will. Learning to enjoy the unique stages of life will enrich you and endear you to those kiddos' parents forever (“love my child, love me” they say). Remember you were a snotty-nosed kid once, too! :)

So, there you have it! Now, I need to go read someone else’s list of what I should be doing in my thirties! Any suggestions????

Blurry birthday pic. You are never too old for a birthday hat :).

Good Friday Hymn: Toddler Style

2014-04-18T05:47:00.001-07:00

On this Good Friday, we remember the death of Jesus and the blessed assurance that His story is the hope in our story.

Blessed Assurance toddler style. Maybe by next Easter, we will add the other two verses :).

Blessed Assurance
by, Fanny Crosby

vs.1
Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
O what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

Refrain:
This is my story, this is my song,praising my Savior all the day long;this is my story, this is my song,praising my Savior all the day long.

vs.2
Perfect submission, perfect delight!
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
Angels descending bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

vs.3
Perfect submission, all is at rest!
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.

Five for Fashion Friday

2014-04-11T06:01:00.000-07:00

Don't worry my fearful friends, I'm not going to pretend I am a fashionista. I promise to leave most of the fashion blogging to others (like my cousin on her new blog). But, the change in seasons and the challenge of dressing post-baby have brought a few things to light.

1. I bought jeans a few years ago at American Eagle called "Skinny Kick". I've since come to believe they may be modern day "mom jeans." Horrors! Is that possible? Would AE sell me mom jeans? People, tell me the truth...

2. Natural deodorant. Verdict= why bother? Maybe I am extra sweaty. Or maybe some things just need chemicals (let me know if you want some "lightly used" organic deodorant" :)).

3. Since we live in a college town, I figure I should give my annual service announcement regarding pants. You might now be wearing pants IF:

Source: Buzzfeed

4.Sometimes my family accidentally does this (You can't really see Preston's shirt and tie, but rest assured they fit the spring blue theme):

Look at those matching skills! Except we did it by accident. Preston and Everett's outfits were hand-me-downs (thank you Nicole!). I wore the only dress in the universe that fit my post-baby physique, and Sam threw on a random work shirt. In the spirit of real-life honesty, I give you the next pic:

P.S. If any of you are wondering why a Baptist and a Mennonite-type just baptized their toddler and infant- that is for another blog post. Maybe :).

5. Who doesn't enjoy drooling over a new Anthropologie catalog? In heaven, I will live inside the anthro catalog (ok, not really). Here are a few of my favorite frocks for spring (although I don't know where I would wear them...grocery shopping? preschool pickup? Target???) But apparently, only Mid-Atlantic girls love anthro. Who knew (anyone leaving the mid-atlantic- I will gladly take your irrelevant Anthropologie wardrobe. As a favor.)?

And a bonus number six for all my vertically-challenged ladies out there...where has The Loft been all my life? Did you know every dang thing in that store comes in PETITE (well almost all of it)? Like this little number...perfection...

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Life After Debt: "Just Ask"

2014-03-28T08:25:00.004-07:00

Life after debt.

I'm continually amazed by how interested people are in hearing about the journey towards a debt-free life (except for the mortgage)- I guess that is what made Dave Ramsey a gazillionare! However, ~~I've learned~~ am learning that living faithfully within our means is a lifestyle, not just a goal. I somehow assumed the hard part was over a year and a half ago, but it turns out that when you've got more kids and more stuff (even good stuff, like a house and a car), managing the pennies gets even harder.

But, I think there are way to make it a little easier. For instance, yesterday this little gem showed up at our front door:

Baby Caviar :)

YES, that is indeed formula. CASES of hypoallergenic formula. CASES of FREE hypoallergenic formula. I think it demonstrates one of the biggest lessons/tools we've acquired in the past 18-months of debt-free living:

"Just ASK."

ASK for the discount. ASK for the replacement. ASK for the help. ASK for the company to make it right.

You know where those cases of formula came from? They came from the formula maker. I knew there had to be a way to get help with the crazy, expensive formula. I contacted our health insurance, WIC, the state medical programs, the formula company. I just kept trying and asking and digging. In the mean time, I asked the social media world for extra coupons, and I got multiple stacks of coupons from many sweet friends I haven't seen in years (thank you!). Then, I found out that regional medical sales representatives have the discretion to help out individual families who need specialized formula. I called and called and called and one day the sales guy shows up at my door with those stacks of formula.

That's just one example of how just asking has made our pennies stretch further. Sometimes it takes a little persistence and sometimes it is a little uncomfortable, but the reality is that consumers are often disadvantaged because we think we have no power to make companies and businesses do the right thing. The truth is that a consumer armed with information and patience will often find that companies are willing to make problems right.

Some more real-life examples of the "Just Ask" principle over the last few months:

1. Our swagger wagon was totaled last month. When the valuation came in a little low (we had only purchased it four months prior!), we asked for more. They threw in an extra $200.

2. We got an astronomical electricity bill this month. Not because we used significantly more energy, but because the supplier quadrupled their rates. Thanks. So, I not only switched companies immediately, but I also asked if there was anything my current company could do about the bill. Eventually, they agreed to send me a $61 rebate check.

3. My insurance company supplies new moms with free electric breast pumps (yay!). The medical supply company we used sent me an "upgraded" pump for an extra $83. I was willing to pay it until I realized the "upgrade" was just that it came in a "stylish" black nylon tote. Upon discovery, I asked them to take the tote back, when they refused I challenged the charge with my credit card company and won.

By my count, that is over $500 saved JUST BY ASKING.

On a slightly different note, I should add that even greater than these examples, are the countless examples of how our community steps up to take pressure off the crazy life we juggle.

Friends and colleagues have watched my kiddos at the last second when I needed to go to an appointment.Visiting relatives have given Sam and I rare opportunities to spend a few hours alone. People have lent us baby gear and hemmed toddler pants. I could go on and on. Sometimes people volunteer their help and sometimes I ask them.

The truth is that when we help one another, both parties are blessed. So often we want to help our friends and community, but we don't know how to. Recently Sam and I were told about a need a community member had- something we never would have known if someone hadn't asked us to help. We would have been robbed of the joy of giving if we hadn't been asked.

So, friends, if you have a need, don't be too proud to ask. If you see a need, don't be too shy to step in. Giving and receiving freely is food for the soul.

Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. (2 Corinthians 9:7)

The First 100 Hundred Days: Everett Edition

2014-03-11T07:47:00.006-07:00

"Tickle, tickle, tickle."

Happy 100th-day Everett Josiah!

We have ~~half~~ a quarter as many pictures of you as compared to your big brother at this point, but we absolutely love you just as much despite the lack of photographic evidence.

Preston has tried to crush-hug you a thousand and one times. His current favorites are using your head as a train track and playing "rollin," where he tries to push you across the room. He has attempted to feed you peanut butter and clip your fingernails...but you are pretty resilient for 11 pounds.

Nicknames haven't come in quite the abundance. We call you baby a lot because that is what Preston calls you ("hold baby, "baby crying mamma"). Sometimes, I call you Evers or Peanut or Sweet little monkey. We'll see what sticks.

You are nowhere near sleeping through the night, but we are grateful that you are now healthy and hopefully growing since our move to hypo-allergenic formula a few weeks ago.

Your new favorites are rolling from tummy to back and laughing out loud. I don't want to speculate too much about personalities (self-fulfilling prophecies), but my guess is that the differences between you and big brother go FAR beyond looks.

As for family life, we are sorting out this new lifestyle. It is crazy to think that this time last year Everett wasn't even a thought in our minds. But, God knew who he was from before the beginning of time. It's so humbling to know that God knows my own family so much more intimately than I do and that his plans are far better than mine.

The days mostly fly by. I cherish quite moments with Everett. And I soak up the full-on conversations with Preston (Sentences, folks. Homeboy is talking in six and seven word sentences!). But there are certainly (many) moments I've spent just asking God to help me survive the 30 minutes next, and I often remind myself of this favorite new-mamma mantra from a friend:

"Give it 90 days or three months. Whatever sounds shorter."

And for my fellow mamas of two-under-two, I would add to that a few extra weeks and copious amounts of coffee.

Pictures of my little love:

Happy First Day on Earth!

It's tiring being a baby.

Smiley boy at 2 months.

A little pale (long winter, little sleep :)), but enjoying cuddles with the boys.

Two Under Two (Two month update..two weeks late)

2014-02-10T12:25:00.000-08:00

Two and a half months in with two under two and clearly we have our hands much too full for blogging. But, if I can sum up the "two under two" life, it would be:

It is just as difficult as I expected, but it gets better. And, faster than I expected.

It really does. Even with a child that is struggles with reflux and weight gain, it still gets better with each passing week.

I swore that two under two was something I would never experience. Now I have a double stroller jammed in my swagger wagon, two sizes of diapers stuffed in my purse, and two monitors in my bedroom providing surround sound grunting, whimpering and wailing.

I was terrified of the physical practical aspects of caring for two kiddos. Just exactly how do I maneuver an infant seat and a toddler in and out of a car in -20 wind chills (I've never coveted a garage so much)? How do I feed an infant while at the same time keep my toddler from falling off the side of the couch...flushing toys down the toilet... getting stuck behind the furniture he wedged himself between...

Not to mention, how do I shower? Cook dinner? Get sleep? And, finish A DISSERTATION??

You know what? It WAS as hard as I expected. BUT, it gets better. Toddlers and babies change so much faster than we imagine. Preston has (mostly) adjusted to the new regime, and I trust that Everett will eventually get used to this whole acid reflux thing and start sleeping better.

I was also terrified of the emotional aspects of having two tiny beings need SO much from me. My toddler talks. A LOT. And it can be exhausting. And, we all know that babies cry. Sometimes A LOT. And, that can be exhausting. Children need discipline, affirmation, education, and all these things that take so much emotional energy.

You know what? It WAS as emotionally difficult as I expected. BUT, it gets better.

Unlike the out of body experience I had when I first saw wrinkly, red newborn Preston, I felt an instant love for Everett. And it grows each day. My relationship with Preston grows as well, as he communicates more and more verbally, as his little personality takes shape and as I see him interact with his baby bro.

We have plenty of difficult moments, and baby Everett is HARD. Poor guy is only in the first percentile and barely eats because he is in pain. I'm not sure why God decided to give me a difficult baby when I'm already stretched so thin, but I trust that it will get better and I am thankful that his health issues are minor.

I WILL say that Preston seems SO much older now at 22 months than he did at 20 months when Everett was born, and so I can't help but think that spacing children a little further a part makes the transition a little smoother. But, as my mama said, God ordains when each of us is born for a reason. So, I suppose we as parents are just the vessels for that purpose...very, very tired vessels... :)

Week One:

Week Eleven:

Preston learning to identify his feelings:

Everett learning to flail his limbs towards toys:

The Birth of Baby 2.0: Just the Stats

2013-12-17T14:09:00.002-08:00

Only minutes into his little life, Sam and I were convinced that our second son was a spitting image of his older brother. He was born 4 days later into pregnancy and weighed 3 ounces more at birth. He really is Baby Samanda version 2.0.

However, the childbirth experience and first few days at home have been remarkably different than last. I will again spare the internet world all of the gory details of labor and delivery and just share the stats for now:

36 weeks and 1 day- contractions start and continue through the night

36 weeks and 2 days- Trip numero uno to the hospital. Legit contractions 3-5 minutes apart, but not strong and only 1 cm dilated

(miserable week ensues)

37 weeks and 4 days- I yelp "owww!" at dinner and claim I feel like someone stabbed me in the gut. Indigestion?

Stabs continue all evening and night.

6 am- Call doctor and he says "You could come in, and the worst that happens is we send you home." Great.

6:30- We drop Preston off at the Watlingtons on the grossest, iciest morning of winter thus far. I curse (in my head :)) with each contraction I endure in the car (the hospital is only 2 miles away, but feels like 20).

6:50- Check in at the hospital

7:30- Doctor finally checks out "progress". I swear that if they send me home, I will break someone, but....SEVEN cm! Wahoo! Someone find that anesthesiologist!

8 am- Epidural. Instant relief.

10 am- Doctor breaks my water. Nap time.

10:55 am- Doctor appears out of nowhere and says to push.

10:57 am- Sam runs out of the room to give Becki our car keys (What?! I skip pushing for that contraction:))

10:58 am- Sam returns.

11 a.m.- Baby Boy Parks is born! His first crib card and footprints read Baby "Hudson".

Fast Forward 24 hours, and on Thanksgiving day, we finally settle on Everett Josiah Parks.

8 pm on Thanksgiving day- They release us, we pick up Preston, have a toast with the Watlingtons, and we make it home just in time to watch the Steelers lose a heartbreaker to the Ravens.

And, so begins life as a family of FOUR.

(As time goes on, I think Everett is looking less like Preston, what do you think?)

Everett- 2 weeks.

Preston- 2 weeks.

Life After Debt: Expect the Expected Unexpected

2013-11-04T12:06:00.000-08:00

The boys and the new micro-van.

What makes buying a new (to us) used car slightly less exciting?

1) Buying it a year earlier than anticipated because your old car won't pass the draconian PA inspection laws.

2) Draining not only your car savings fund, but also your "dream Italian vacation fund" AND half your emergency fund. OUCH.

What makes unexpectedly buying a new car MORE exciting?

NOT going into debt ALL OVER AGAIN to buy a depreciating hunk of metal.

Actually, I shouldn't call it a hunk of metal. We want to be wise stewards of the resources God gives us, however much or little that may be. And, for the first time in our lives, we are have TWO big kid cars. Reliable, safe, good gas mileage vehicles. Thank you God! And now that we are there (sort of), we want to stay there (unless of course, we could live somewhere where life worked with only one car).

SO, what is the plan? The "secret," if you will, of a life without car payments.

1) WORK your way up into vehicles that work for your family. Start with whatever you can afford in cash. Even if it is a rusty 2001 Nissan pathfinder (wink, wink). Then save like crazy until you can get into something better and newer. Repeat. Until you are in the type of quality used vehicle you can imagine driving for many years.

2) ENJOY the feeling of your owning your zippy little microvan with sliding doors :).

3) START saving a little bit each month right away for your next vehicle. The idea is to keep that car for only a few years, before it loses too much of its value, and then sell the old car and use the savings to buy a car that is just a few years newer. In other words, pay yourself a mini- car payment every month.

I used to think running cars into the ground was the answer (better than a car payment or a lease, right?), but it is truly is a terrible feeling when you get next to nothing because you let your giant hunk of metal depreciate into rusty scrap metal. The reality for us is that we didn't quite work this plan quickly enough, so we will spend the next 6 months or so paying ourselves back by replenishing that emergency fund. But hey, that is what emergency funds are FOR right? The expected unexpected...or is it the unexpected expected?

Either way...I am now officially a mom with a (micro)van...AND a double stroller...all in one week. EEK!

Note: I originally heard about this "plan" on Dave Ramsey's web site. His explanation is here.

18 months and 29 weeks: Update on the Boys

2013-09-29T17:58:00.002-07:00

Toddler life. Wrangling my bubsy-bear.

(One 18-month old + One 29-week pregnancy)grad school + insomnia = One tired mamma

That is the equation for a life where laundry is always a little behind and dinner is sometimes a frozen pizza. I guess that the second trimester energy boost doesn't really kick in when you have toddlers to chase and dissertations to write. And, now here we are in the third trimester already...eek!

Updates on my two boys:

Samanda 2.0:

I can't complain too much though because other than the insomnia and some superficial problems (can you say root canal?!!), baby 2.0 is relatively well behaved so far and all the tests and appointments have been uneventful. More kicking, but not too much regular back or hip pain yet due to pregnancy, but I did throw out my back picking up my almost 30-pound one year-old! Less weight gained (so far at least) than last time means I will hopefully top out lower, but just like everyone said it would be- way more belly the second time around. Now, if we could only settle on a name...

The One and Only Preston:

First day of "school". Three mornings a week in a one-year-old classroom, and after a rough start, he is loving it.

I was tempted to celebrate Preston's half birthday with half a cake and 1 1/2 candles...but then I read this article. Ok. Fine. Maybe half birthdays ARE a little ridiculous...

Anyways.

I don't know what a typical 18-month old boy is like, but Preston's favorite hobbies are running, digging and generally trying to kill himself. New obsessions include trains, buses and letters. Oh, and tantrums. Wow. Teenage girls get a bad rap because they got nuthin' on toddlers!

The biggest difference in the last three months is the vocabulary explosion. I remember counting his words at 15 months and coming up with a little over 20, and now I've completely lost track as he adds new words every day. He is starting to put phrases together and is obsessed with naming the letters of the alphabet. He hides foam letters all over the house like a puppy hiding bones. Weird. But, hallelujah! He MAY be literate someday :). I am RELIEVED beyond belief that he is finally interested in books beyond flipping pages and gnawing on them. When P-dog was 9-months old, Sam thought I was totally crazy because I was so distraught that I was raising a non-book-lover. I can't wait until I get to re-read all my favorite childhood books.

Overall, I mostly wish this pregnancy would slow down (soooo different from last time). From the moment we found out about 2.0, I've been really sad thinking about my one-on-one time with Preston coming to an end. It is interesting to consider the fact that 2.0 will NEVER experience that one-on-one relationship with mamma. It makes me reconsider the implications of birth-order and child spacing...I just pray that the Lord is gracious in showing me how to care for each of my children in the unique and individual way that each boy needs.

And now, just a few more recent pics of my little man:

Preston and his fave buddies. He asks to see Roe-Roe every day :).

Eastern shore. Preston doesn't like the crab.

P-dog and mamma on the Fourth of July.

One-size fits all? :) Paddle boats with toddler...semi-disaster.

Good-bye Summer, Hello Fall; Autumn Baking Edition

2013-09-20T17:39:00.000-07:00

It was 90-degrees last week, but leaves are changing and Starbucks has been selling Pumpkin Spice Lattes for weeks, so in the Parks' household it is officially fall. Fall candles are burning, fall wreath is hung and turning my lit grapevine pumpkin on and off is one of Preston's new favorite activities.

It's no secret I delight in pumpkin goodies. Whereas baking is not typically one of my domestic endeavors (why bake when I can just buy gallons of Turkey Hill icecream? :))... Baking, domestic, pinterest Amanda emerges for a limited-time run each fall. I think I may even give this guy a run for his money :).

Last Sunday morning, Preston woke up super early- surely to worship the Lord...so with coffee in hand, we redeemed the dawn hours with our first new pumpkin recipe of the fall- Healthy (er) Pumpkin Muffins. When I made them, I added all the ingredients except the sugar, and then made a small tin of sugar-less muffins suited for a toddler. Then I added the sugar for the "grown-up" muffins. Our version of the recipe is at the bottom of the post.

Sadly, my second new fall recipe met an untimely demise. For once, I managed to get a dessert out of the oven when it was perfectly browned... but alas, I couldn't even salvage a bite for fear of chowing on the shattered glass of my pyrex dish. Here is a link to the Spiced Pumpkin Apple Cake Recipe (it is totally a cheater recipe, shhhh, don't tell).

And finally, this evening for our weekly Friday night Brinner tradition, I finally decided to make a Dutch Apple Pancake. There is a diner in Chicago called Omega that makes the most amazing dutch apple pancakes...I mean my dad has brought them back in his suitcase before- THAT good. I've been afraid to even attempt for fear of extreme disappointment. And while I am not going to be putting Omega out of business, I was pleasantly surprised how this one turned out. Here is the link to the recipe if you want to try (you'll need a cast iron skillet or another oven safe pan)- this one is PURE fall, folks.

Dutch Apple Pancake

Healthy(er) Pumpkin Muffins

3/4 cup white flour

3/4 cup whole wheat flour

3/4 cup sugar (exclude for toddler version)

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. baking powder

pinch of salt

1 tsp. pumpkin pie spice

1 can of pure pumpkin (not pumpkin pie filling)

2 eggs

1/2 cup applesauce

1/3 cup plain greek yogurt

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spray muffin tins with cooking spray or place in muffin liners. Mix flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, pumpkin pie spice and salt in a large bowl. In a separate bowl whisk together pumpkin, applesauce, eggs and yogurt. Combine wet and dry ingredients until just blended. Spoon into muffin tins. Cook for 15-20 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean. Makes approximately 24 muffins.

Preston's Announcement

2013-07-27T09:09:00.000-07:00

Friendship, All-Grown Up

2013-07-24T07:39:00.004-07:00

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.”

- C.S. Lewis

We've moved three times during married life.

The first time was two months after we got married. To a new country. I remember periods of intense loneliness, but also of wild adventure and excitement. New jobs and culture kept us busy, and after not many months we made a lovely group of friends. And, not all of them were Mzungus (white people :)).

Our second move was back to our college town. It was a year of deepening friendships. We truly lived all parts of life with our friends (I mean truly, we lived in our friends' basement).

Our third move was FOUR years ago this month. It was a tough transition. Sam working from home and my new life in academia didn't exactly lend itself to a lot of kindred spirits. But, amazingly, once again, God provided friends from all sorts of places.

However, after all these years, I suddenly feel surprisingly alone. Over the last two years, friend after friend has moved away. Sweet friends, moving on to great things in new places. I absolutely love the friends that remain here, but I just don't have the energy to make new friends. As a mamma, trying to spend as many hours at home with my sweet toddler AND finish a PhD (oh, and grow another human), I need friends who can meet me where I am. Is this the plight of adulthood? I have to believe that this is just temporary and that God does not mean for life to be solitary, but I fear that these conditions will only be heightened by the addition of another babe into our lives. Perhaps my expectations for community during this phase of life just need to change.

The other night, I told Sam that I loved State College, but I just want to live somewhere that people STAY (which is slightly unfair, since we also plan on leaving State College eventually). He told me he knows that place. It's called Heaven.

Cheeky, but true.

How about you? How do you make and strengthen friendships in busy, post-college life?

Reflections on Foster Care: Closing Our File

2013-06-24T07:15:00.002-07:00

Earlier this Spring, we received word that chickadee's brother was officially approved to do all of his home visits from boarding school at his biological father's home. It really felt like the end to that chapter of our life. Finality. Closure.

But, it didn't feel like this was end of our foster care story. In fact, when we got a call a month later about a placement, I felt excited and eager to take on a new challenge. In the end, we felt very confident that the right decision was to say "no" to this case. It must have been the Holy Spirit whispering in our ear because we were actually already expecting our second child (unbeknownst to us) and our three bedroom house would not have accommodated this particular combination of children very well (I have some thoughts about bedrooms and private space for foster children and biological children, feel free to ask if you want to know more about them).

This summer, when it was time to renew our license for the year, we finally decided it was time to close our home to foster care for this season of life. The process to renew is quite simple (probably too simple), but I finally admitted that now was not the time for fostering.

It's hard to admit that we have limitations.

In some ways, I feel selfish for saying that I am unavailable to hurting children. I feel inadequate for saying that adding a third child to our life is too difficult in this season of life.

And, in an extremely sinful and ridiculous way, it seems just a little boring "just" to have kiddos come into our home the good old fashioned way. Foster care feels like real kingdom work, and most people view it that way. But, raising up biological children isn't always acknowledged to be the holy and awesome duty that it is. I know it's vain and self-seeking that I care about how others view the holiness of my child-rearing. And, I am sure that those out there with two under two are laughing hilariously right now because they know that we are indeed in for some serious sanctification...

I seriously doubt that this is the end of our foster care/adoption journey. And, I love that I live in a community where I am constantly reminded of the unique way God knits families together and am pushed to think beyond my biological family unit. Last month during a sweet beach vacation reunion, our friends' five year old bounced over to me, pointed at Preston and said, "Nanda...ummm, where did you get that baby?"

I floundered, wondering if this was a birds and the bees moment, "Uhhh, well first I was pregnant and then later, he was born." (Lamest. Answer. Ever.)

"Ohhhhhh," she smiled and nodded knowingly, "So THAT baby was in your belly?"

Turns out, I think all she was trying to figure out was if this was the kind of kid that comes into your family from mamma's belly or shows up on your doorstep one day. In her world, brothers and sisters arrive in all kinds of ways, in all kinds of colors, at all kinds of ages.

And, I like that world. It's a hard world, but one worth living in and investing in.