Wild Rumours

The Secret Password Is...

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Tue, 26 May 2009 05:04:00 +0000

"tadpoles." Shhhh. That's what got me into the Phoenix Zoo for free today. The zoo posted a tweet on Twitter that using the secret password would get anyone in free before 11 a.m.

So, I got to see a lot of aminals as La-la, my lil sis, used to say.

I took a slew of pics and posted them on flickr. The clarity in the thumbnails is great, but since I took them all using my blackberry, the clarity of focus when they're blown up is hit or miss. Still, you might have fun at least scanning through. I did.

Summer Is Here... Finally

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Sun, 24 May 2009 23:32:00 +0000

So, I made it relatively unscathed through my first year at ASU. I haven't updated in a while, I know, but I'm relying on RSS feeds to get this to you :)

Here are the highlights of Spring Semester:

My parents came to see me, and I got to show them where I live and take them around Tempe and Phoenix. They would tell you I tried to take them all over the state. Just too much to see and too little time. I've learned to be a better host since then. I know my visitors need rest too ;) We did drive the Apache Trail and make it up to Sedona (you can check out pics here), so they got to see the ruggedness of Arizona that I'm so in love with.

I only went on one other *serious* hike since the Flatiron hike I posted, and I tore the ligament in the back of my knee (my PCL). I was going on a 23-mile loop hike starting from Peralta Trailhead, and about 3-4 miles in, I tweaked my ankle and fell straight on my kneecap. The gash on my knee was bleeding profusely, so I bandaged it and proceeded to walk the next 7 painful but flat miles to the next trailhead instead of trying to make it back up the mountain I'd just climbed. Some really nice senior day-hikers gave me a ride back to Peralta, so I made it home okay. My knee was worse on Monday, so I went to the doctor and after a lot of referrals and Xrays and tests, they told me my PCL was torn. Repairing the ligament is a non-surgical procedure. Translation: ice, advil, and rehab. Lots of rehab. It's been over two months now, and my knee's still not quite right. I'm guessing another 2 to 3 months before I'm at full capacity again. The worst part is that I had permits to spend a little over a month hiking the Grand Canyon, Peralta Canyon, and some canyons at Lake Powell. I'll have to try again later, I guess.

I did get to go to the Grand Canyon with a friend; you can check out some of her photos of the trip online . We camped out (her first time), and we walked the Rim Trail. It's flat (relatively) and has incredible views, as you can imagine. On the way back, we saw the Painted Desert. I'm hoping to take my sister up there in June and my mom and Aunt Kathy up there in September.

Academically, I'm doing okay, holding my own. Since I'm trying to bridge a few different fields, I feel like I'm playing catch-up a lot, but that's okay. Most of you know I'm all right with that, even kind of like it.

One really cool project I was part of this semester is housed in the Arts, Media and Engineering Department. I won't detail the research here, but this video will give you a sense of the kinds of things I've been exploring in local high school settings.

SMALLab @ Arizona State University - 2009 from aisling kelliher on Vimeo.

I'm figuring out the *system* and am learning to *play the PhD game* fairly well. That's probably the hardest part. That and trying to figure out what to specialize in. Every yes is the equivalent of a thousand no's . I've always avoided limiting myself; I've made sure I've had choices and multiple paths to pursue. The goal now is to choose (only) one or two, so I'm trying to learn as much as I can about what I'm getting into and what options might be the best fit for me.

Along those lines... I was accepted into a Preparing Future Faculty program for next year. That should help me get a sense of the major differences and expectations of liberal arts colleges v. Research I institutions, etc., And I'll get a taste of admin in higher ed because I'll be president of GSEA, an organization to support graduate students in the English Department.

My mom says that when I was little I would fall asleep in the car, but the lights of a town would wake me up. She said it was because I was afraid I was going to miss something. She's not far wrong. And this isn't much different. So I'm trying to figure out all the possibilities so I'll at least know what I'm saying yes to and what I'm walking away from as I start to specialize more.

I'm also posting an *academic* blog as I try to delve into and think about social media and digital cultures (part of what I'm *specializing* in). I just put it up today actually. Feel free to check it out; it's in the works: http://jenniferlclifton.org/

More soon. Well, sooner than six months anyway :)

Climb to Flatiron

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 15:28:00 +0000

Yesterday, I finally got to do a little hiking. I went up to Lost Dutchman State Park and headed up Siphon Draw up a canyon to get to the highest peaks in the Superstition Mountains. It's really only the first mile or so that's a hike, the rest is part hike, part bouldering/rock climbing, which was great fun for me. The weather was atypical for Arizona. Most of my climbing was literally in the clouds. When I first got to the top of Flatiron, I couldn't see anything but white on any side. I couldn't even see the rocks further down the face I was on. Crazy!! But then it cleared off just enough to get a few shots in.

Some older guys in their 40s and 50s came up after me and asked if I'd seen the hoodoos. I had no idea what they were talking about, so I followed them to a different peak (actually the highest peak in the mountain range) and saw these vertical rock formations that were amazing and a bit eerie. I felt like I was walking on the moon or something; it didn't look like Earth. The clouds were too dense to get a good view of Four Peaks or of the lakes on the Apache Trail.

On the way down, the trail was crowded with people, which was surprising, considering the difficulty of the climb. The guys I hiked with for a while told me about some other mountains and trails to check out, and I saw some that cut into Siphon Draw, so I'll probably test out some more trails soon. I'm glad to finally have a little time to do that.

Sorry for the kind of boring post. I just wanted to get something up - it's been a few months, I know - and I wanted to show you my pics, although the color seems off in a few of these. Not much I can do with a point-and-shoot though. More to come soon. Promise :)

Inauguration Report

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 22:29:00 +0000

Follow the 2009 Inauguration on Twittervision:

To get your own Inauguration Widget, go to: http://inaugurationreport.com/widgets/

Presentation at AETA

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 03:30:00 +0000

Well, we pulled it off. Our presentation at the Arizona English Teachers' Association was a hit, and we were asked to do a repeat of our presentation at a Language and Literacy conference in February.

Here's the link: http://stotan.wetpaint.com

Props to Darren for the KMWP Tech matrix stuff online. I linked up to it and gave a little shout-out during our presentation.

Grading with Games

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 16:21:00 +0000

This is a video interview of James Paul Gee talking about how gaming is going to change the way we do education...

Taking a Different Tack...

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 19:56:00 +0000

So, after calming down, I decided that the WTF route would probably not be the most helpful tack to take for us to have any sort of meaningful interaction about Jesus or Facebook. And I decided I would prefer, for her sake and mine (and others'), to draw her into a conversation and tease out what she meant by her comment. So... here's what I wrote instead:

"I am in Arizona, in Tempe just outside Phoenix. I'm working on my PhD and teaching freshman comp. Fun stuff! As to your other comment... I wonder what that would look like, to see Jesus on my (or anyone's) FaceBook page. We do need to think about those kinds of things in light of the way technology and media are revolutionizing the way we think and act and interact. We need to ask these questions and learn to recognize Jesus when we see him no matter where he appears. I haven't checked out your page, but where does Jesus show up (and how) on your page? That might help give me a context for what you were looking for (and didn't seem to find)."

She says she was expecting to find tons of theological books on my book profile. When she didn't, she was surprised. It's interesting that she immediately jumped to some sort of grand sort of conclusion about who I am and what's going on in my life based on what she found on FaceBook. I've only been actively using FaceBook in the past month or so. It wasn't until recently that a critical mass of my face-to -face friends began using it. So, my book profile indicates what I've read in the most recent month or so, and then I've only listed education or young adult lit books. I haven't listed any of the books I'm reading for pleasure-- books about the desert, cycling, Superstition Wilderness, Tempe, bike repair, gardening, video games, or books that I'm re-reading, which is what I tend to do with the poetry and theological books I own. What's even more funny is that at least a third of my always-growing book collection (books that I read and re-read and journal and think about on a regular basis) consists of "theological" books by authors like C.S. Lewis, Kierkegard, MacDonald, Charles Williams, R.C. Sproul, Larry Crabb, Dan Allendar, and on and on... this is just the tip of what comes to mind in the few seconds it's taken to type this line.

I'm curious to see where the conversation goes from here, but I don't think I'll post any more of it here. Although I do think there's an entire worldview behind her comment, I don't think she thought carefully about what she was writing and I don't think she meant any harm by what she said, and even if she did, that conversation would be something better left to a more private realm.

It is interesting, though, to think about the blurred boundaries of public and private. Previously, someone would have to come into my home or talk to me to find out what I'm reading. Now, they look online (if I post it there) and make judgments based not only on what's there but what's not there as well. Similarly, as a friend brought up in a comment about the previous post, I have blurred private and public boundaries by posting the start of our conversation here for the blogging world to see. All of this makes for new ways of thinking about who we are, how we represent ourselves in multiple ways to multiple others, and how we do and can and should interact with each other. What *should* be public and what *should* be private? And who has the right to decide? Lots of, lots of questions...

"There's No Jesus on Your FB Page" - A Rant

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 12:52:00 +0000

Yesterday, I got a message from a girl I knew in my Campus Outreach days at Berry College. We were part of a Summer Beach Project in Panama City Beach, FL more than ten years ago. I haven't spoken to her since then. I haven't even thought about her since then. Anyway, she found me on FaceBook. Apparently that's easy to do, easier than I'd like, and she decides to write a message on my FB page.

Here's her message to me after we haven't talked in over ten years:
"Hey! How are you doing these days? I see you are in Arizona, which is way cool! What are you doing out there? I'm looking at your profile and I can't figure out something. I don't see Jesus anywhere. I'm surprised. When I look back at my huge spiritual turning point, you are in those moments, pushing and challenging me. Please tell me what's going on with you these days."

My initial reaction: WTF!

After not being part of my life for quite a long time, she makes an assumption about my relationship with God based on my Facebook page? It doesn't sound like her concern is for me. Instead it sounds like she has some image of what she remembers of me and what I "should" be like now. What would it look like anyway, to see Jesus on my page? Would I have some sort of flair with Jesus on it? Would my comments need to mention God every fifth word? I don't feel like I owe her an explanation at all or like I need to justify what is or isn't on my FB page. But let me offer a little bit of insight for the sake of making a point... despite being on FB, I'm very private. You won't find anything about my deep struggles or deep joys or deep desires on my FB page. Though FB is a public forum, I do not choose to make everything about me public. Neither do I make everything public here. Further, the group of people I am "friends" with on FB cover a wide range: old CO folks, Berry and Kennesaw teammates, Navy friends, teacher colleagues, fellow grad students, past and current professors, past and current students, immediate and extended family... the list goes on. Most of those people (most of us-- I'm obviously in this category too)have varying hangups (understandably) about Jesus and/or Christians, some of which are based on the way other Christians have related to them. Regardless, most of my friends on FB, who are my friends face-to-face in real life, would be highly offended and guarded if I had "Jesus" on my facebook page. As would I. I simply can’t stand the sort of consumer culture of Christianity that insists that it always be marketed and flaunted and sold in some way. I have no Jesus t-shirts, no Jesus bumper sticker (although I do love a crummy church sign), and no Jesus fish or anything else that would outwardly indicate to anyone else anything about me or about Jesus. (I don't even like having a Navy Reserve tag on my car because I think that's too much information for people to know at first glance.) I say all this not to diminish the urgency or magnitude of our need for Jesus (we all need saving from ourselves), but rather as an indictment on the way we Christians often go about wooing others to the heart of God. I'll be the first to admit that the older I've gotten and the more shit I've seen and the more I've been through, the slower I am to verbalize anything about Jesus. Partly, I think it is out of compassion and seeing how difficult it is for us to make our way. Partly, it is a kind of apology that acknowledges that Christians have done things badly for a long time. Partly, it is fear of losing or offending close friends, a risk I should probably take much more often than I do simply because I genuinely believe that my friends and I need the forgiveness and hope that Jesus offers far more than we need each other. Partly, it is because I know that God is not undone by who we are. Partly it is a trust that God knows what he's doing and that he is doing far greater things beneath the surface in others and in me than I often recognize. Those who are closest to me (whether they are Christians or not) know my heart. I hate to think that anyone would associate me with a version of Christianity that is so insecure that it needs to constantly make a show and a spectacle. Why would I put “Jesus” on my FB page? Who would that be for? Not for me. I know. Not for him. He knows. Not for my friends. They know. So for whom, then? For what purpose?

Going Viral

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 04:49:00 +0000

This is the chart that started it. After Aden Nak threw this up on his site after the debate, he woke to instant internet fame and an overloaded inbox. Other sites had grabbed his chart too, and one that featured Nak's art - DailyKos - had been Dugg 10,000 times. What does it mean when a YouTube video or a blog post goes viral? And how does that happen? This seems to be related to the digital anthropology studies that Mike Wesch has been up to lately. In writing about viral videos, he looks at what might motivate us to share with others and might make us hesitant to pass something on. He points out that there's never been a porn 2.0 because that's generally something people keep private. But in other areas, technology and media continue to change the way we think about and blur the lines between what's public and what's private. Aden Nak had a regular readership in mind when he posted the chart to his blog and the next day found another 10,000 readers he hadn't anticipated.

Now Entering Blogosphere 08

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 18:10:00 +0000

This "universe" whose name sounds like a sci-fi film is now an integral part of our daily lives. As Technorati points out, the top five entertainment sites are blogs. There is a general consensus that blogs are here to stay. But lines that define what is and is not a blog are blurring and so are the ways blogs are being used. Technorati put together a State of the Blogosphere 2008 report to take a look at some of the big questions and ideas surrounding the blogging phenomenon: what is blogging, who is blogging and how and why, blogging for profit, and brands entering the blogosphere. Just at first glance, there are some interesting things worth noting-- if you don't have time to read it, take a couple of minutes to click on the link to the report and at least glance at the graphs. I plan on checking the report out more thoroughly in the next day or so, and I'll post some of my thoughts in response to the report here... I'm eager to see what some of you think when you check it out too...

Social Soundtrack

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 20:16:00 +0000

Gabcast gives students and teachers an easy way to record the audio for a podcast, radio essay, voice comments, etc., and since users call in on their cell phones, it doesn't require a lot of expensive equipment to get the job done.

A lot of educators are already using Gabcast:

To sign up, go to Gabcast and click the Sign Up button (there are several on the page). Follow the directions that pop up asking for your email, a screen name, and a password. After you've filled out the form, you will get an activation email from Gabcast. Simply click on the link provided, and your account will be activated and you'll be able to log in (top right of the screen). Once you're logged in, you'll be able to create a channel with a password so you or others you designate (students?) can call and follow the audio directions to make a recording.

I created a channel so you can test it out from the call-in side if you want. Feel free to leave random messages, thoughts, rants about whatever... I like surprises :)

To test it out:
1. Using a phone (cell or landline) call 1-800-749-0632
2. Follow the prompts given.
3. The channel # is 23333
4. The password is 2008
5. You will be prompted to begin your podcast; press # when you're finished recording
6. You'll then have the option to hear the episode you just recorded (1) or to publish it (2).

In the meantime, I'll play around with posting audio comments to a blog or website (maybe even here)... More to come soon.

Google and Education: Dynamic Duo?

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 18:50:00 +0000

The National Writing Project has now teamed up with Google to create an online writing and online publishing site where students can write about their concerns for the upcoming election and things they would want the President to address. The site combines several web 2.0 technologies including Google Earth, Google Docs for Educators, and tag clouds so readers can quickly get an idea of where students are when they post their concerns and what issues are of most concern and access the letters that interest them most. Cool stuff, huh?

I do wonder what Google's policies are for handling information that is coming from students. What are their practices as far as using or distributing information for marketing purposes? Something to think about as more and more "free" Google tools become available and as we begin using those tools more and more with our students

My First Butte

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 18:37:00 +0000

Last week (I think it was last week), I took the short but steep walk/climb to the top of Hayden Butte in Tempe. Overall, not a bad experience, but I have to say, I was a little disappointed. The walk up only takes about 10 minutes, if that. And it's not as wild and rugged as I was hoping it would be-- there are handrails and primitive stairs and one of the "trails" is asphalt. I guess I should have expected that since a) it's in the middle of Tempe and not in a more remote location and b) there's a big 'A' on the side of the butte (I keep wanting to call it a mountain, but it's not really that big... just big compared to the flat urban-desert landscape surrounding it). Still, I was outside for a bit, and I crossed something off on my Tempe list of things to do (yay).

More exciting (hopefully) Tempe stuff to come... and those of you who've been here before or are here now, help a girl out with some suggestions.

Will we follow people or ideas?

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 16:16:00 +0000

It occurred to me that sometimes I'm looking for information about certain topics or ideas, say commuting by bike, freecycling, or crummy church signs, but lately, I'm finding that I'm starting to follow people rather than merely ideas. I've started following Mike Wesch and Will Richardson on-line. They have certain areas of interest, to be sure, but there's a trust there, I think. I've seen their other work, and I have an idea of what to expect from them, and I trust that their ideas will continue to make me think, so even though I'm interested in the ways Web 2.0 is changing the ways we learn and think and interact, I am also interested in the slant that these two guys have on that phenomenon.

So I wonder... will Web 2.0 lead us to follow people more than ideas? What does this mean for the way we blog and construct our ethos on-line and/or the ways we read/evaluate blogs (and ethos)?

Creating "Third Spaces"

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 03:49:00 +0000

I watched a video today by Konrad Glogowski (it takes a minute or two for him to get going but it's good info once he does) about creating "third spaces" in the classroom. (Steve and Joani, we've talked about this before). The idea is based on sociological concepts; our first space is our home, our second space is where we work or, for students, where they go to school, but we all need third spaces where we can just be. In cities or towns, these are typically pubs, parks, malls, coffee shops, etc.

Konrad's idea is that we can create these third spaces online with blogs (and presumably other web 2.0 tools also) by creating places where students can be and interact... spaces where they have the opportunity to use their creative voices in expressive writing, the freedom to customize and build and define their own web presence (perhaps by using their own themes, adding widgets, linking photos and videos, creating avatars...), the opportunity and freedom to network in any way they want and to seek out those with similar interests in and out of class, and accessibility to one place that houses all their interactions in a connected and convenient way.

Doing this would require big changes in the traditional roles that teachers and students inhabit...
-students have to be free to pursue their own interests
-teachers have to let go of reading every piece of writing a student produces
-teachers have to let go of dictating what exactly will be written when so they can allow the community to grow and develop a life of its own where students' interactions and passions and questions are the driving force...
-students have to learn to face the blank page and think about how to grow their blogs

This is a short list, but even these few changes would be HUGE!!! but they can be done-- I've done these things myself without blogs. The blogs add a level of freedom, convenience, speed, interaction, and connection that paper versions can't reach.

These concepts, by the way, aren't new; they are reminiscent of Donald Graves' and Nancy Atwell's research with elementary and middle grades students. It's kind of nice that web 2.0 is gradually going to force us into what research has been telling us for over 40 years...

She blogs me... She blogs me not...

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 01:24:00 +0000

Hmmm... apparently simply using a blog is not in and of itself enough to qualify as blogging, at least according to Will Richardson. Here's his blogging continuum:

# Posting assignments. (Not blogging)
# Journaling, i.e. “This is what I did today.” (Not blogging)
# Posting links (Not blogging)
# Links with descriptive annotation, i.e. “This site is about…” (Not really blogging either, but getting close depending on the depth of the description.)
# Links with analysis that gets into the meaning of the content being linked. (A simple form of blogging.)
# Reflective, meta-cognitive writing on practice without links. (Complex writing, but simple blogging, I think. Commenting would probably fall in here somewhere.)
# Links with analysis and synthesis that articulates a deeper understanding or relationship to the content being linked and written with potential audience response in mind. (Real blogging)
# Extended analysis and synthesis over a longer period of time that builds on previous posts, links and comments. (Complex blogging)

Check his blog for the full post and for lots of other thoughts and information about the ways the Web 2.0 world of interactive meaning-making is changing (or could and should change) the way we think, learn, relate, whatever...

I'm not sure I agree with all of what he says here, especially the "journal writing." I know most of the people who were reading my blog this summer (when I was actually posting on a regular basis) were interested in the journal-like stories I had to tell. I included pictures and links sometimes, but there wasn't much synthesis or analysis going on. But I would still say I was blogging and that I had a specific audience in mind. Sidenote: It's funny that many of you chose to call or email me about those posts rather than submit public comments. There's something very transparent about blogging and Web 2.0 in general...

More Not Blogging on the way...

Save your minutes... let my blog come to you

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 13:42:00 +0000

Apparently, for me, blogging is completely dependent on how much spare time and energy I have. Good thing I'm not getting paid for this... I'm going to shoot for a weekly post but just in case I miss that mark (which is entirely possible), I have a recommendation that might help save the interested few a little time: follow my blog on Google Reader (free) where you can simply subscribe to an RSS feed (don't tune out yet, I'm gonna explain) and my posts will come to you. That way, you won't have to keep checking back to see if I put up something new. Actually, it's the best way so far to follow any web sites or blogs you're interested in... big time saver...

So, having made the pitch, here's a short video that will give you the gist of how it works and how to set it up. You can subscribe to my blog, and it will take you to Google Reader. And if you're still not sure after watching this and clicking the link, just shoot me an e-mail, and I'll be happy to hook you up...

More real stuff soon...

Superstition Drive-by

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 23:16:00 +0000

Yesterday, the electrical guys kicked me out of my apartment for a while so they could change a 110V socket to a 220V socket (long story, but it relates to my washer, which i'll tell you about another day)... Anyway, I decided to do a little recon for nearby hiking and camping spots. About 30 minutes down the Old West Highway, I found the Superstition Wilderness. Score. (click on the link for more pics)

In addition to the scenery, signposts were my other major form of entertainment. Evidently Arizona allows a little leeway on their adopt-a-highway signage. Either that, or whoever prints those gets really bored. Here are my favorites:
- In loving memory of John Denver
- The Eskew family, puppies included
- Dons of Arizona

I'm not even sure what that last one means, but I kept wanting to say, "Dons of Arizona, Unite" like those old "Wonder Twins, Activate. Form of Icicle" cartoons. Do a whole bunch of guys named Don actually take care of that mile of desert road? Or is Don some title like Count or something?

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

To Recycle? Or Not?

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 23:09:00 +0000

I bought recycled toilet paper the other day, which seemed like a good idea at the time. But today it occurred to me that a thin piece of paper rubbed on someone else's ass might be the one thing I don't want recycled.

How do they actually recycle that stuff anyway? Is there some giant filter in the sewer sifting the 2-ply and 4-ply from turds in the stream? I don't know... Kind of makes you go hmmmm...

Epigraph

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 17:14:00 +0000

No, not epitaph. Epigraph.

I am working on finishing my capstone for my master's (oral defense on Monday)and came across this piece that I wrote for a class with Aaron Levy, a friend of mine who's a big part of the reason I'm at ASU. I like this piece, kind of reminds me of why I'm doing this whole Ph.D. thing...

“When I find nothing by me, much may have been done in me.”
-Francis Thompson (poet, sometime opium addict, pursued by the ‘Hound of Heaven’)(‘Discovering Francis Thompson’, Gregory Allen, Mount Carmel 49,2 (1992) pp. 81-92)

I hope that Anne Lamott is right; I hope publishing is overrated. That’s partly because I haven’t published. I mean, I have a few by lines, some poems that a few of my friends and professors like, but my name’s not hanging out on the spine of a book battling dust allergies in some library or anything. Not that I don’t want to publish. I do. But some days, maybe most days, especially if I haven’t written for a while, I’m not sure I have much to say. I’m not sure I have anything to say. But I show up and, as a teacher, I ask my students to show up too. And I ask them to trust me, to write, which to them is the same as asking them to die. But they do—write a little… and die a little… and head straight for the center of things. The days go on, and we write every day at about the same time. Partly it is to trick ourselves into forming a habit, partly it is a debt of honor, a sort of prearrangement with ourselves. And we write with the stubborn hope that if we just keep showing up, eventually it will come.

Sometimes it takes a lot of figuring out what we don’t have to say before we ever land on what we do have to say. Sometimes it takes three pages to get to one sentence. But it is always worth it. Worth the struggle, worth the waiting. It’s hard to say what exactly it is we’re waiting for. It’s different for all of us. But we always recognize the start— that choke in the throat that comes from the fear and thrill of saying something true, something the rest of us are too scared to say or see, but something we all feel glad and a little relieved to have heard. It is a sort of settling into ourselves, a coming home. After a while we start to relax and take ourselves less seriously. And in an odd sort of way, that means taking ourselves more seriously. Finally, we get into it. We are writing. At our own pace we finish one piece and move on to another. And it turns out that this thing that we had to force ourselves to do is what we most needed. We needed to hear ourselves, to hear each other. And somehow, when we manage to say something right and true and say it well—and it doesn’t always happen, there are no guarantees—it feels like we’re living up to something, like we’re coming alive.

Besides, it was either that or:

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.
-Vonnegut

Dapple Dandy Pluot

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 06:50:00 +0000

Hello, my name is Jennifer. I was a virgin pluot eater. Not so much any more.

So, what is a pluot, you may be wondering... Well, it is apparently the life's work of one Floyd Zaiger, this dude who was born in Nebraska and grew up in Iowa and spent his life on a quest to use genetics to create the perfect fruit. Not much to do in Iowa. I think we all thought that, but this confirms it. So our friend Floyd played with the birds and the bees and cross-pollination till he got this 3/4 plum, 1/4 apricot thing that tasted kind of good. According to wikipedia, which we all know to be highly trustworthy, "the pluot, like the aprium, is derived from the half-plum–half-apricot hybrid called the plumcot." Plumcot? That sounds vulgar. I might have to add that to my road rage, name-calling list. I think "plumcot" will fit in nicely. Like, "What's your plumcottin' problem, plumcot? Gaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh (long and sighed out, Napoleon Dynamite-style), Plumcot!" Yeah, that should do the trick.

Road Trip

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 23:02:00 +0000

This pic taken not by me from nearby Camelbak Mountain where I have not been has absolutely nothing to do with this post except that it's a far-off view of Tempe where I now live and where I took my first AZ road trip today on the Commuter Bike 2000 (think of it as the non-magic version of the Nimbus 2000... equally cool).

Several things of note happened on my short outing:

- I learned that here I can legally ride on the sidewalk and that I don't have to wear a helmet while riding my bike. Really adds a bit of freedom, excitement, and oh yeah, danger to urban biking. Just what I always wanted!

- A really hot guy at the Sunflower Farmer's Market showed me how I could bungee a crate to the rear rack of my bike for grocery shopping. Yay, hot guy!

- I bought a beer on Sunday (just because I can) (consider this my shout out to my peeps in Georgia who still have to plan their beer trips around a six-day week), and since it IS Sunday I chose the Monty Python Holy Gr-Ail.. I figure this is a beer I can offer the Sisters (they're coming out of the woodworks now-- I met two more today--) and they might not be offended. You know, because it's a holy ale. :) Except it is from the Black Sheep Brewery. And the label does say it's tempered over burning witches. Hmmm. Maybe I should hold off on offering them this beer.

- Twenty-five-year-old Anthony downstairs informed me that he dated a 38-year-old when he was 21, and it worked out great. Aaaaannnd? Don't hint around Anthony, get to the point... (sooooo not my type, mom)

-I met two more sisters, the ones who live "across the concrete" as they put it. (We share a staircase) (Guess Edna lives somewhere else in this complex?) These two girls both called themselves Sister-something also. That whole sister thing is a little distracting. I can't remember any of their names because I get stuck on Sister. I don't hear anything else after that. Although I realized a little too late that they're all wearing official name tags. How convenient. I need a crutch in a situation like this. Maybe I should join in the fun and pull out some of my own homemade "Hello my name is..." stickers... I'm all about helping a sister out! Ha! Maybe they get tired of having to remember everyone else's names.

It turns out they're Mormon. Anthony told me. Kind of wish he hadn't. Takes a little of the fun out of finding out. Now what? Maybe I should start leaving beers anonymously at their door. I asked Anthony what he calls them, and he said he doesn't. He avoids it and says, "Wuzzup?" which is exactly what I plan to do until I can come up with a better strategy.

Serious Food, Silly Prices

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 23:40:00 +0000

The Sunflower Farmer's Market is my new mostest favoritest place. Everything is fresh, and they have stuff you can't get other places, and they're not kidding... the prices are silly. Yesterday, I bought 38 things-- I didn't count; it was on the receipt-- and I'm talking like 5 avocados is one thing... Anyway, 38 things were like $44. Crazy, insane! Insane, crazy! And fresh yummy stuff!!! And it's right around the corner from my apartment-- yay! So, I'm excited about that and about the new handy-dandy recipe holder book my sister (La-la, not the one next door) gave me, so I've been cooking a lot the past few days. (I know this surprises you, Mary Lou) :)

Sidenote: this summer I took a class and a different group of us brought breakfast everyday. One day, I brought in this sort of southern breakfast casserole, and Mary Lou asked who made the sausage casserole. I hesitantly raised my hand, and she cried out, "YOU!? You made that?" like she was shocked and appalled and that was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard. I think she might have thought I was lying, er I mean, kidding. But then she realized I wasn't and tried to back out of it by saying to the class, "I mean would you think she'd made that? I mean, look at her!" BAHA!!! That was one of my favorite funny moments this summer. Yay, Mary Lou. I like her.

Just call me Sister...

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 16:39:00 +0000

The other day when the step-dad and I were grabbing the last few hanging clothes and assorted bebelo (I don't know how to spell it, but it means nick nacks and is just very fun to say out loud: bee' ba low) from my car, two Midwestern-looking/sounding girls who are probably pretty close to my age stopped on their way back from a run and said hi.

Girl #1 introduced herself as something Edna, I think. They were breathing a little heavy, so it was kind of tough to make out what they were saying. And then girl #2 said, "I'm Sister Maria, but don't worry about remembering my name. I'll only be here for another week." Then I realized that the girl #1 had said Sister Edna. Wait. What? Who introduces themselves that way? What does that mean?

There were no black and white habits. No rosary beads. They were in shorts and tank tops. Sister Edna? Are they nuns? Do nuns live in apartment complexes? What about Mormons? Do the Mormons call each other Sister this and Brother that? Is it some Baptist thing-- I've heard some of those pastors call themselves Brother Bob or whatever. I don't know what any of this means. And what do I call them? Are they expecting me to call them Sister Edna and Sister Maria? I really don't know about that. I'm going to have to keep a list of ways to avoid using their names.

And this morning-- I think Sister Edna lives right next door to me, like I can touch her door when I walk out of mine-- I heard a girl (could have been Edna) talking about Sister this and Sister that. What is happening? Where have I landed? I am in the middle of a Seinfeld episode. Or a convent? It's all very confusing.

If any of you have any insider info, help a girl out. Otherwise, I'm going to start my own little action research study... and I'll be asking Twisted Sister lots of questions next time I see her...

Get out the Paddle... Blue, that is...

noreply@blogger.com (-JC) — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 03:38:00 +0000

New Belgium beers are on sale at my new favorite Sunflower Farmer's Market, so I tried the Blue Paddle. Evidently, they named the slightly bitter beer after a paddle the owner's grandmother used to use when she pulled out her can of whoop-ass. Couldn't have left too much of a sting though if the beer's any indication. It's a Czech style pilsner that's a little more hoppy than most pilsners,so it's got a little bitterness mixed in, but is still pretty smooth. It's got a little malt aftertaste going on too. Just kind of a middle of the line beer for me. I was going to say "nothing to write home about" but, well... you get the joke (sorry).

Next on the beer list are two Polish pilsners: Tyskie and Okocim, neither of which I've actually set eyes on yet. But the hunt is on...