AskHeatherG

Vegan for 30 Days (Pros & Cons)

2016-03-14T19:20:00.000-04:00

In case you missed the memo, or perhaps I haven't expressed it enough on this here site, I have a vlog on YouTube under the name "AskHeatherG." Well, I have started a challenge to go vegan for 30 days and I am chronicling it there and I would love for you to join me on this journey (click video below). I am currently on Day 7 so there are somethings I can help you with to make your transition seamless. Make sure you Subscribe to my YouTube to get all the info.

In the meantime, here are some pros and cons I have experienced since letting go of meat, dairy, starch and sugar (yes I know, that's more than what's required of a vegan, but hey). Let's get the bad stuff out of the way first.

Cons:
1. Fatigue- In Days 2 and 3, I was so sleepy I could barely make it home in the evenings. I found myself nodding off at the red lights while driving home, so make sure you are able to get plenty of rest in the beginning.
2. White Tongue- Gross, I know. I have been experiencing some thrush on my tongue. This is normal since my body is ridding itself of candida/ toxins. Still, not a pretty picture. Tongue scraper maybe necessary.
3. Headaches- Well, I expected this one. Since I am not taking in too much sugar, I have limited the amount of caffeine I drink since I like my coffee to be dessert-like. Therefore, my body is going through withdrawals. Only true remedy for this is more rest.

On the brighter side, I have been experiencing benefits too.

Pros:
1. More Energy- Yes, I know I said I was fatigue, but that was in the first couple days. I am starting to gain more energy now, which is huge for someone who usually needs a solid eight hour sleep.
2. Brighter Skin- It is a very slight change, but nonetheless, a good one. I am feeling like my skin is smoother on my face and definitely more supple.
3. Clear Head- I can think clearly without that brain fog we get mid-day.
4. Great Smelling Skin- So, I will do a video on this (promise), but I stopped using deodorant 2 months ago and I am telling the honest to goodness truth, my armpits actually are beginning to smell sweet... like "yum" sweet... and no, I am not in denial because I actually have randoms do a "sniff test" from time to time to verify my findings. LOL.. Weird? I know!

So there you have have it. Make sure you check my YouTube for more updates and tips as we venture through this together. I hope I have helped someone who may have been on the fence about starting this new lifestyle. It is well worth a good go at it.

How to be Pretty

2016-02-15T22:00:00.001-05:00

There are two very important factors when it comes to how you feel about your outward appearance. It starts with the obvious, aesthetics and the less obvious, mindset.

Watch me explain how you can achieve "pretty" while staying true to yourself.

Enjoy.

How I Travel:: You Can Afford to Do the Same

2016-02-06T21:58:00.002-05:00

I was reading a post on a fellow bloggers' site when I realized, "hey, that's my lifestyle," meaning, I live a somewhat unpredictable existence. I say "somewhat" because I intentionally designed my life to look this way. I have absolutely nothing against anyone who enjoys working a 9 to 5, but saving for 12 months to take a week's vacation is not my idea of living. Take someone who wants to spend their entire check to pay for the latest hot rod, is that really necessary? Don't get me wrong, I want to get the latest hot car myself (so tempting), however, I don't choose that lifestyle currently because I feel that living life is much more than the things we acquire. Buying stuff doesn't equal happiness; maybe in that moment, yes; but how many time have you bought something, let's say a car, and months after you have it, the exhilaration you felt in the beginning turns to anxiety when you realize you have to work overtime to pay for it? Cut down on the things that do not matter so you can spend on the things that you love the most. Sometimes, the things we acquire are actually a deterrent from us living the life we want, but they appeal to you because in some twisted way they make you feel validated.

So again, not to bash anyone's traditional work life, but to those whom are curious as to how I move and travel as much as I do, or to those who are trying to figure out a way to do the same, here's what I'd suggest (in no particular order).

First of all, downsize. Letting go of excess possessions doesn't mean you cannot have nice things, it simply means you own "quality over quantity." This makes it easy to move about. It means less you have to care for and it keeps things minimal.

Secondly, figure out a way to make an income without having to report to a physical location. So for me, I blog and constantly work on my YouTube channel, both of which produces income for me. In addition, I get endorsements from my social media platforms, check me out (http://instagram.com.Askheatherg). When I want, I will sometimes take a job and use that income to add to my "investments" (even my investments are nontraditional). I know this entire concept may sound daunting, but if you really want to live a life that affords you more opportunities to travel or save, you will figure this one out. Start with googling "alternative ways to make money."

Lastly, change your mindset. Understand that this is possible for anyone to design the life they want. Living a life of abundance is about doing what you want, when you want.

Come with me to Dubai

2015-09-16T18:01:00.001-04:00

These are highlights from my last vacation to Dubai. It was incredible. I hope you enjoy watching this as much as I enjoyed filming it.

What's your favorite vacation?

How to Smell Good All Day

2015-08-09T04:29:00.000-04:00

How many times have you ran errands all day and by the middle of it all you felt... well... not so fresh? And how many times have you hugged that beautiful soul, but bless their heart, they could use a little "refresher." No bueno! No one wants to be in this situation, but best part, it is quite easy to avoid this from happening to you. Want to know how I keep everything "Zest Fully Clean?" Well, take a look at my latest video posted below.

I discuss how to stay fresh on-the-go, how to smell good all day, and best of all, how to prevent from smelling in the first place. These are definitely good tips for you, you and even... you! Especially those with active lifestyles, because let's face it; no one wants to be the stinky guy (or gal)... lol. Seriously, tell me what you think and don't forget to like my video and subscribe to my YouTube Channel. Share it too if you find it helps you. I really appreciate it!

Lastly, tell me your tips and tricks on how you maintain smelling good all day.

Always.

Why Feeling Good is Important

2015-07-06T07:15:00.001-04:00

I could go on and on about why it is important to always keep your mind,
body and spirit in a space of positivity, but I prefer you watch my
video and let me know what you think about it in the comments.

How do you get yourself into a healthy, happy head space?

Loving Two People At The Same Time

2015-06-15T17:10:00.002-04:00

Although this may seem to be a cliche topic, I've always wondered what the consensus would be should I raise the question: Is it possible to love two people at the same time? This is such a loaded question because there are several factors that go into play and since I am a woman, perhaps I should only speak from the perspective of a female. With that being said, yes, I think it is possible to love more than one person at the same time. But I'd venture to ask the more important question, is the love equal amongst both persons? If so, are the circumstances similar enough to allow the separate loves to somehow be measurable? Probably not, which is likely the reason we find ourselves in situations of loving two at the same time in the first place. You see, each person offers different attributes that appeal to our wants and needs making them feel "necessary" to our personal growth. But don't be fooled by infatuation. Before going any further, you have to know that your loves are even worthy of your love. Should you determine that to be the case, well... read on.

What do you do if you find yourself in this situation? It starts with weighing the pros and cons of your relationship with each individual and truly tapping into your feelings for both of them. Is it just love or are you actually in love with one of them? Although you may have love for them, there is only one that will truly have your heart.
My advice would be to figure out who that person is before you potentially tarnish both relationships with the back and forth and again, you do that by trusting your heart and not your head.

At the end of the day, stay true to yourself. Don't go for the "safe choice" or the one that looks good on paper because those things are superficial. Only you know what is best for you and only you know who makes you feel your highest, purpose driven self. With that person by your side, anything is possible.

Love hard.

Motivation Monday: Oprah Wasn't Built In A Day

2015-03-30T03:07:00.000-04:00

Ha! When I saw that quote "Oprah wasn't built in a day," it immediately snapped me into reality because like many of us we feel that success comes fast and easy. Truth is, it doesn't! Long hours and diligence is what builds momentum and eventually, true success and recognition. With that usually comes money and sometimes power, but we must all realize that there is a road that has to be walked before we even begin to scratch "success' surface."

Take me for example. I started my AskHeatherG Blog in 2009. Unfortunately, I wasn't diligent in my postings because of my mindset and ill preparation. In the beginning, I thought that my following/ readership was going to come quickly and in droves, but when I saw that it wasn't I was discouraged.... that easily, I was knocked off of my game. However, I now realize that losing faith in what I was doing because I wasn't seeing the result I wanted to see, was the fastest way to postpone my vision. For a moment, I was caught up in the idea of my blog not generating a substantial income. Then I was suckered in by trying to write on topics that got more "clicks," like celebrity gossip and fashion, and while those topics are of interest to me, living a healthy and beautiful lifestyle is what I have been placed here to share with you. I quickly realized that gossip and the superficial isn't true to my calling or my message (not in the context I was sharing it). Yes, I am still on a journey to building continuous success through both my blog and online boutique, but I have learn a valuable lesson along the way.

If anyone knows Oprah's story, you 'd know that she literally built her career one day at a time. She wasn't worried about competition, she was simply focused on what made her soul smile. With that mentality she has built an empire, but better believe, it took 10+ years before she even saw a paycheck that looked half as good as anyone working a job fresh out of college. The struggle is real and my only advice is stay true (and consistent) to it and yourself.

Good Luck!

It's Complicated

2015-03-23T00:08:00.001-04:00

Ahhhh... dating! Where do I start? Better yet, "when do I stop?" Over the last few years I have had opportunities to date some very beautiful men, and I don't mean in the sense of build, height, perfectly structured cheekbones and pearly white teeth; but figuratively, beautiful people, souls.. beings. It seems that every time my relationship turns from causal to serious, I press pause. I am somehow distracted by nonsense, "he's just too nice" (who says that anyway), "look at his long arms", or "ewww, does he really like that stupid music?"

Excuses.

Don't get me wrong, there are those I have met that are friggin' jerks. There are always those. You know the type, "I am going to make you let your guard down for me", "allow me in to help you open up", "I would never hurt you." Bullshit. And I say that with the mildest sense of frustration and animosity because despite popular belief, I am not one of those "angry women." In fact, I've come to realize that the blame for this dilemma lies with me, not men. I have attracted this mess of a scenario. Yes, perhaps he didn't have to feed into my desperate "last" attempt at finding the whole package, but if I hadn't jumped out there so eager to "upgrade" this option would have never presented itself. What's an upgrade anyway? Who said one is greater than another? No such thing. Still, I can't help but asking, why this cycle in my life... again? Why can't the beautiful men incorporate some of the ju-ju that the jerks embody? Why can't the perfect match be that simple? Oh because then... then I'd have the perfect package, right? Wrong! Truth is I'd find a way to make the perfect package a beautiful bore or jackass of a jerk. Don't we always?!

Confusion.

I swear growing up I never imagined dating would turn into the Hunger Games. It is like survival of the fittest and boy have I learned to armor myself with "strong," but I don't want to have to put up a guard anymore. For once, I'd like to genuinely share my wholehearted happiness, my bottom of the barrel sorrow, my universal excitement, my finicky anxiety, and my glowing essence, with someone who feels as deeply for me as I do him. How do I shed my shield and allow happy to find me instead of me resisting it? Surely not all of my beautiful men can be so bad! There's a saying that goes something like, "When the problem keeps persisting, look at the common denominator." Well, I guess that'd be me. But does that mean I am flawed? Is this part of the process of life and love? If this is part of the process, why do some people figure it out long before others?

I've come to realize that the answer is simple; change your mind instead of trying to change the man. No one is perfect, but there's someone who will be perfect for you, for me, if we simply allow them to be. Give it a try! I know I am.

Naked by New Year: The Journey

2015-01-07T03:26:00.001-05:00

As promised, I wanted to take the time to document my journey through Naked by New Year, my 90-day challenge to my friends, family, and followers, which challenged those who took the journey with me to whip their bodies into shape before 2015 instead of waiting to make a typical, result-less resolution after the new year has begun. As a result, not only did I get a great jump start on an improved version of myself, but I started seeing other women (mostly) transform before my eyes as we all posted to Instagram and Facebook with hashtag #nakedbynewyear. This journey was about more than being physically fit, it was about discipline, mindset, and overall growth. So here are some of my results:

I lost a little over 8 lbs. I started at 132.6 lbs. and ended at 124.2 lbs. My starting goal was to lean out and drop some of the excess fat on my body. Those 8 pounds have made all the difference in the way I feel and look. My arms have slimmed down by and 1.5" and my stomach is flatter than it has ever been. I still have some cellulite to shed, but that will happen in the next phase of detoxification.

Here is what I did on my journey: When I began, I went extreme in the gym. I went every single day for the first 21 days and I was weight training, in addition to cardio workouts. The reason this was important to my program is that I had to give myself something to look forward to, some results. Sometimes it is hard for us to be consistent in improving ourselves when we see no reward, so I made it a point to give myself something to look forward to. Within 7 days, I was already seeing some weight loss and I was getting stronger. By week two, I was doing 25 modified push-ups with no problem and the third week I was onto regular push-ups. Progress.

Also, I modified my meals. I was drinking anywhere from 3 litres to 1 gallon of water daily. This is the single most convenient and easy way to help flush your body of toxins. As some of you may have seen in my previous post, Choose Herbalife, I started consuming Herbalife shakes too. I took those consistently once or twice a day for the first 2 months and then switched to a low carb breakfast (2 boiled eggs, tomatoes, and avocado) during my third month, December 2014. FYI, I started back on Herbalife shakes for January and will most likely alternate the shakes and a low carb breakfast each month from here on out.

Lastly, I have been staying more active in daily activities. For example, I will walk a couple laps through my neighborhood when I go out to check the mail. I also walk to a lot more places like the post office or grocery store. Anything that will get my heart rate up.

The regimen definitely means putting in work so don't think I am saying it is easy, but the fornula is simple. Just stay with it!

Staying Positive When You're Feeling a Struggle

2014-11-22T23:49:00.002-05:00

Geez, the title sums it up. I have been feeling a little down for the last couple days and honestly, I am not quite sure why. The weather is getting colder and I am definitely not a winter person, but I am not convinced that's the reason for this dull ache between my eyes and lowered feeling of ambition. I realize, all I can do is work towards a better feeling and I figured I'd share this concept because I am not the first person to preach feeling good and being joyful; but we all have "off" days. The question is, what can you do to make it better, more positive?

Earlier I mentioned working towards a better feeling. Let me explain, when you are sad, or mad, or feeling spiteful; it is not always reasonable to turn these emotions off just like that, but what you can do is step into the feeling that's a little better than the one you're having at that moment. For example, I was listening to a woman on talk radio and she explained how she got out of her depression after her mate of 10 years left her. She simply started making herself feel a little better by thinking, "he's leaving me, but not for someone else." Now, some may not see much progress there, but if she took one step out of depression or shame and another into say, apathy, well that's a better feeling and the next step will be better feeling than the last until she gets back to "joy." Sometimes you cannot immediately leap from sadness to joy. In fact, sometimes, we don't even know why we are in sorrow to begin with, but all we can do is take one step at a time into better feeling places. Feeling angry, well, move your feeling to pride, then courage, then... well you get the point. All of these emotions come from the energy we emit and in return, gives us a feeling that matches the energy we are amplifying. Sitting at my desk, writing this entry is helping me to move from neutrality to reason and love merely off of the idea of helping people who are feeling like me, blah.

Remember, being positive does not mean being the happiest person in the room, but what it does mean is that you will work to find positive and expansive thoughts to help lift you back up when you have fallen down. If that means going to see your niece because she makes you smile, or calling your grandfather because you know he has something clever to say... do it. Being positive means creating positivity even in the face of adversity, one feeling at a time.

15 Ways to Use Coconut Oil

2014-10-21T20:52:00.002-04:00

So if you are a fan of my blog, you know by now that I am a huge fan of coconut oil. I use it for everything, especially my beauty secrets. In an earlier entry, I wrote about the benefits it posses which helped me to sooth and acne breakout I was having. In another entry, Dry Skin Be Gone, I explained how to get beautiful hydrated skin (and scalp) with it. I absolutely love what it does for my skin, but I cannot get enough of how well it works in so may other areas. Here are 15 additional ways you can use coconut oil.

As a dietary supplement to help fight candida and boost hormone production
To kill yeast or yeast infections. Coconut oil contains caprylic and lauric acid, which is excellent for combating yeast infections (fungi and bacteria) both internally and on the skin. You can take a teaspoon daily or apply it topically. Be careful with ingesting, start with small doses to make sure it doesn't upset your stomach
On feet to fight athlete’s foot or fungus
There is some evidence that regular ingestion of coconut oil can help prevent or reverse Alzheimers
A small amount can be rubbed into real leather to soften and condition (test a small area first)
As a cuticle oil to soften dry skin around nail beds and promote nail growth
Ingesting coconut oil daily can help with allergy symptoms
As a luscious tropical massage oil that's not too greasy
As an eye-makeup remover
As a makeup brush cleanser. The oil helps cut through the dir. Just mix 1 part oil with 10 parts water and allow brushes to soak overnight.
As a pan greaser. Use coconut oil in the place of other oils such as canola, vegetable or even olive oil because these oil can be hazardous to cool with past certain heating point. Coconut oil is not affected and therefore a safe alternative.
As a Thyroid Supporter - Regular coconut oil consumption has been shown to support healthy thyroid function.
As a lubricant. Yes, no KY needed. Coconut oil will get the job done and is all natural
Furniture polish. I know, how did I go from making love to oiling up the wood (well kind of the same, lol). Use this in the place of your furniture polish for a deep condition.
To oil door hinges. I actually tried this by chance and it worked wonders. The molecular stucture of coconut oil is smaller than most other oils allowing it to "get in there."

These things worked for me, saved me money and kept me green at the same time. Enjoy! How do you use coconut oil?

Naked by New Year: Nutrition

2014-10-14T13:44:00.001-04:00

When we think about getting shape, we usually turn to our workout regimen and think that the lack of physical activity is the culprit. While this is a contributing factor, exercise alone accounts for about 20% of your desired outcome, be it bulking up, losing weight, or toning. The other 80% is nutrition. Let me walk you through a day of my meals so that you can get a better grasp of the types of means you should be eating to lean out and build muscle.

When I wake up in the morning, I start my day with a Herbalife Shake. I choose the shakes because I am a person that never prepared breakfast in the morning and skipped having a meal of any sort until lunchtime. I can probably attribute it to being lazy and not feeling like preparing a meal before I start my day. Instead I'd grab coffee and off I went. However, now that I consume the shakes as my breakfast, it is fast and convenient and gives me all the vital nutrients I need in terms of proteins and proper caloric intake.

Approximately 2-3 hours after I have breakfast, I will typically prepare two boiled eggs or I will make a simple spinach and eggs scramble. To make this meal, scramble your eggs as usual and add spinach. You can add as much or as little as you like and you can use fresh or frozen spinach (I personally prefer the fresh spinach, but either is fine). If you are feeling extra fancy, chop some onions and bell peppers to stir into the eggs. It is all up to you and how fast and easy you want it to be.

A couple hours after that, I will have another shake, followed by a small snack like almonds. Greek yogurt, a KIND bar, edamame, hummus are all good snacks too and packed with protein.

For dinner, I enjoy quinoa with most meals. It is high in protien and easy to make. About 50% of my plate are covered in green veggies, like spinach, kale, or brocolli. The other 50% is split between the quinoa and chicken, fish or beef. Now this may sound boring, but this is when getting creative with herbs and spices come into play. If you check out my Facebook post, you can see how I use a cilantro marinade to smother my chicken and fish dishes. Onions and bell peppers are also great to add some color and flavor. I recommend trying some varied options and see what is easiest and tastiest for your palate.

Continue to follow me on Facebook and Instagram @askheatherg for more motivation and tips. Post your progress with the hashtag #nakedbynewyear

Naked By New Year: Exercise

2014-10-08T01:24:00.001-04:00

What's this talk about being naked... well, let me explain! I have taken on a challenge, one that will test me both mentally and physically. It is a 90 Day Challenge, meaning I will finish up right around the New Year. What's the challenge you ask; getting in the best shape of my life! What is it that you'd desire to achieve if you were to give yourself 90 days of complete discipline? For me, I want.... no, I will have a tight and toned body. This requires fitness and nutrition, but I am going to talk exercise for now.

Usually we wait until Dec. 31st to give ourselves New Year resolutions, but I ask, why wait? Why not start now if it is something you truly say you're going to do. Did you know that over 85% of people who purchase gym memberships for the new year stop going before the month of February has ended? That is less than 8 weeks, which leads me to believe we only make these resolutions because they sound good, not because we truly believe them or plan to accomplish them. So how will I get to my goal and how I can help you break some barriers to get you to yours? To understand this let me share something that will resonate with most of you, my past journey.

First, my mental challenge, mindset. For years, I never had to obsess about fad diets or serious workout regimens. I'm referring to my high school and college years. A lot of my ability to maintain my "look" has been a blessing (genetics) and a bit of clean eating, but definitely nothing I had to work for. Whenever I'd see myself picking up a little weight, I'd do a quick juice fast for a couple days or my version of "killing it" in the gym for a week and viola, I was better.. keyword: better, but not my BEST! My mindset would allow me to believe it was hard to consistently workout. I believed it to be a task to pull out my workout gear, lace up my sneakers, and head to the gym or at least that was my excuse. But here's the thing, if we want to be our best, we have to start with our beliefs. What I learned was that I can have anything I want and desire. A kick-ass body is merely effort combined with consitency and who better to whip herself into shape than the girl (me) that preaches this mindset to anyone who will listen?!

My physical challenges, on the other hand, started at home. Laziness. Once I'd get up the courage and energy to get to the gym, walk into the gym, and find a machine to burn calories on, I'd feel a huge sense of accomplishment... and it is. Getting to the gym is a great hurdle to get over for a lot of us, but that is only the beginning. I'm not sure I realized that before. I believe that I allowed myself to exert minimal effort. Why? Because "I came to the gym right?! And that trickle of sweat that just rolled over my eye has validated me, I can go home now! I got it in!" Wrong! Please don't think like this because much like me, you will get nowhere fast. If you make the effort to go, make the effort to grind.

Remember, it starts in your mind, so believe you can do it and absolutely, you will!

So why am I sharing this? Well, I want to be held accountable to more than myself this time around, something I have never done before. But, I am also sharing this because I challenge you to join me. Start now and give yourself 90 days! Let's be #NakedbyNewYear

P.S. If you are in the Los Angeles area and want to workout with me, shoot me a message through Facebook, Heather Graves! <-- click="" i="" there="">

Lose 2 Inches in 2 Weeks with 2 Steps

2014-09-27T13:55:00.000-04:00

You heard me right, 2 inches in 2 weeks! I am always looking for ways to trim down in a healthy and natural way. Yo-yo diets will never work, but I do believe in little tips and tricks that can advance and help with the process of getting to a more fit you. After hitting the beach a month ago, I realized I wanted to take a few inches off my mid-section, but unlike my previous post DIY Body Sculpting (see here), I wanted a pure organic way to achieve the same results.

Step 1: Water
I know that seems simple and almost too easy, but water will get the toxins in your body moving and help eliminate them. There are a few things you should know about water and the most effective times to drink it.

My first recommendation would be to drink 1-litre of water upon rising in the morning. I usually brush my teeth first and then chug 1-litre of water before doing anything else. I promise you that "things" will get moving really fast (if you know what I mean). This is beneficial on every level and imagine starting your day lighter and more energized, plus you're flushing toxins and allowing yourself to absorb nutrients you may take in throughout your day.

Secondly, always carry a water bottle with you. You should be drinking at least half of you body weight in ounces, ex. you weigh 140 lbs., you should be consuming 70 ozs. of water. I usually top mine off with either chlorophyll or apple cider vinegar, but those are my personal preferences. I like that chlorophyll serves as a natural internal deodorizer and ACV helps boost energy. Again, these are my personal choices, but the water is the most important part.

Lastly, make sure you are using a quality water. I prefer alkaline water (pH higher that 7) or distilled water. This way you know your body is absorbing the bulk of the water and helping eradicate the junk in our system.

Step 2: Cardio
Cardio doesn't have to be a super strenuous process, but you must make sure it counts. Get at least 30 minutes of good cardio each day. You can do this on your lunch break, have a brisk walk. Also try jumping rope or jumping jacks during times when you find yourself being idle, ex. while watching television).

As long as you stay consistent and above all, think and be positive, you will get results. Let me know how your 2 weeks turns out. Do you have and healthy tips to add?

Drama Free Life

2014-09-22T18:28:00.004-04:00

Ladies, ever wonder why they call us "drama?" Well, sad to say, but sometimes we are! LOL. Now let me give this disclaimer up front; this is not to say men are without flaw (because we all know men, women... the human race is imperfect), but I am simply referring to what I know about my fellow women.

To fully understand, we have to take a trip down memory lane. From the time we were born, we were instilled with beliefs that was passed from generation to generation. Unbeknownst to us, we were absorbing the images we saw and holding onto the feelings we felt, good and bad. Unconsciously this rendered us with beliefs on what we "wanted" or "did not want" for our lives. Example, "I will never let a man talk to me like that," so you grew up believing you had to do the opposite of whatever your mother may have done when fighting with the male figure in her life, be it fighting physically or sometimes worst, with words. The problem with this (and most any example I could think of) is it made us form invisible boundaries before we could even have true relationships of our own. How is a lover suppose to embrace you fully if you have already guarded yourself from his love. Furthermore, how are you suppose to trust if you are already ready for battle (i.e. failure)? In other words, we have unintentionally began to chip away at our relationship before we have had a chance to bury the seed.

"But Heather, I'm open minded, I'm drama free... I don't confront anyone!" Well darn, sometimes that's even worse for a relationship. There is a time and a place for uneasy conversations, but the fact that you don't express will leave a man feeling like you do not care. Never good! They NEED to know you are for them and "in it" with them. This certainly doesn't mean you should be hostile or aggressive in your approach to address issues bothering you, but talking through situations allows growth within yourself and your relationship. Most do not subscribe to this approach which unfortunately continues to forge a wedge in your relationship until it is ripped apart or severely broken. Most will fill their time with nagging and digging to try and validate whatever disagreement she is having with her beau. But this is pointless. First of all, do you even trust him? If not, you should have already moved on, but if you do, isn't that enough to believe in? Now don't put your proverbial blinders on, but if you are in it together, truly, then let go of the drama because it is only imposing stress on all involved. In fact, it is deepening your doubts of true love and happiness and it taking a toll on your personal growth, so a relationship... what relationship? How can there be one if you don't even have a healthy one with "Team Y-O-U?"

The secret? Turn your doubts and frustration into celebration. Learn and love yourself. Be whole before you allow another in. Live fully and fulfilled you will be!

Living a Life of Abundance

2014-09-08T15:25:00.000-04:00

People often forget that we were all created equal. One does not possess "more" than another because he is any better; he simply brought it to himself through the process of positive thinking and believing. Fact is, we can all have anything we want and desire. I am in my process of cultivating my thoughts and beliefs and what I have come to realize is it is much like going to the gym, in that, you must learn to control/ exercise your thoughts. We literally have thousands of thoughts, conscious and unconscious, that go through our minds daily. Learning to keep the most helpful thoughts in mind for you is the first step, but you must BELIEVE them. Getting rid of old beliefs is imperative in order to allow abundance into your life.

In the video I've included, "How to use the Law of Abundance," you will hear D. Anka aka Bashar, talk about the Law of Abundance. Abundance is the ability to do what you need to do, when you need to do it. Understand that that does not always mean you have to have the most money. Example, perhaps you want to go to Europe and see the sunset in Tuscany. Most automatically believe that they need "x" amount of dollars for this to happen and you can only get that money by working "x" amount of hours.. and so that will be your experience, having to pay for the trip by working day and night at your j-o-b. But employ this idea, maybe you could win a trip by entering an online sweepstakes or be gifted such a trip from your boss who has been to Tuscany four times already. The possibilities are endless and it is not our job to make it happen or even understand how it is going to happen, it is simply our job to ask it, think it, and believe it. The opportunity will present itself. However, if you think in an abundance of lack, well... lack is what you will get.

Be mindful and think positively!

Find the One and Have it All

2014-08-01T22:55:00.003-04:00

Since making major changes in my life (my move, my career, the focus of bait28.com), I have gained another perspective on the meaning of life, what it is to actually enjoy life and how important it is to not only explore, but to restore. What I mean by that is, living a balanced and happy life means getting out, encountering new people and seeing and observing the beauty in everything. However, living life to the fullest also means taking time to yourself to relax and regenerate yourself.

I recently read a very interesting quote, "the secret of having it all is knowing you already do!" For example, although many of us would say we aren't on a mission to find any one particular companion, I am here to tell you that they will come once you find fulfillment with yourself. It isn't important to try to "make things happen" in your life. In fact, "trying" to make things happen is the very obstacle that keeps your from reaching your full potential with finding a mate, business partner, love interest, etc. Just live your life, and know that the rest will unfold for you.

Another extraordinarily big piece of the puzzle is keeping your clear mind of the trash media feeds us, our friends tell us, or our old beliefs impose on us. This itself is a task, but once you get the hang of it, you will immediately notice a change in your day to day life, including the people and circumstances that reveals themselves to you. This means to make a conscious effort to keep pure thoughts, thoughts that only serve your best interest in your subconscious mind. At first it will be a task because naturally our mind drifts and when you actually observe what you are telling yourself, it is no wonder you don't have a better car or more money or that beautiful man that passes you in the hall everyday. As soon as you hear those hints of negativity or doubt, replace them with the knowing that you can and will have anything you want, need and desire.

These are a few simple steps to a better way of attracting and having it all. Of course there is so much more to cover, but let's start here and the rest will begin to follow. Promise!

Hall Pass: Should I Allow Him to Cheat

2014-03-04T23:49:00.001-05:00

Some of you may have read that title like, what? But reality is, some women allow their men a pass to cheat on special occasions, like say, their birthday and they call it a Hall Pass. What do you think about handing out a hall pass to your man?

Here's what I would have to say about it. While I am not one to judge one's union, I feel that usually the hall pass is discriminatory. As I explained above is normally allows the man to wander while you, the wife(y), sits at home waiting on him to finish up in the streets with some random. How will that really make you feel when he's leaving the house to do heavens knows what with heaven knows whom?? Besides, that's just not fair in my book! And while I am not one to claim women should have set the same parameters (in life) as a man, I am suggesting that something of this magnitude seems a bit one-sided. If you're a man reading this article, ask yourself this, "why do I think I am the only one that might crave some variety?" That in itself is part of the issue, wanting variety, wanting to scratch an itch, wanting to be greedy. When you decide to settle down, shouldn't the taste for multiple flavors be greatly diminished? Otherwise, why are you settling? And that bit of desire that burns for adventure and excitement, shouldn't that be something that you and your significant other work to liven up together?

In Hollywood especially, we are beginning to hear a lot about the celebrities with open relationships and I must say, they seem to be working out "better" for them than traditional ones, but do we give persons in those type of roles different standards to live by? I mean the average man isn't confronted with new challenges multiple times a day like the celebrity men are. Also, an open relationship gives the hall pass to both parties, so it seems a bit more even keel, or does it? Does it actually degrade the woman for even wanting someone outside of her beau?

Personally, I think that when going into a relationship/ marriage, these things (much like a pre-nup) needs to be sorted through in the beginning. Ultimately the decision is up to the both of you, but I urge you to think long and hard before you agree to a hall pass because once that door is opened, you cannot close it and once your heart and union is broken, your pass is as good as divorce papers.

Dry Skin Be Gone: How to Hydrate Your Skin & Scalp

2014-02-26T00:39:00.000-05:00

I never thought I'd have to find remedies for dry skin, but here I am. I am from Virginia and rarely experienced dry skin, I suppose it maybe due to the humidity on the East Coast. Yet, since moving to Los Angeles about 5 months ago I noticed the texture of my skin begin to change. The climate, constant sun exposure and California's terrible tap water took a fast toll on my skin. I used to get so many compliments on how soft and satiny my skin felt, especially after applying coconut oil, but my old regimen was no longer cutting it. My skin went from supple and smooth to dry and slightly scaly. Even my scalp had begun to suffer. So naturally I took to the internet to research some remedies. I prefer natural fixes over prepackaged store bought ones, but at this point I was willing to try most anything.

Over the course of 5 months, I finally figured it out. Here's what I did:

For my skin: I still use my faithful coconut oil and occasionally I mix it with equal parts lotion if I want the oil to absorb completely grease free, but now I have added lavender oil to my jar of coconut oil. Lavender oil can help to stimulate the production of sebum, and also balance secretions within the skin. This oil has so many wonderful benefits, especially on a dry skin, encouraging the removal of dead skin cells, repairing and healing dull, flaky patches. Needless to say, not only did I slather my body with this, I begin using this on my scalp as well. In addition to adding the oil, I bought the Sprite Filtration System for my shower head, which only cost me $19 at Lowe's and I invested in a personal humidifier for my bedroom, which I got from CVS for only $29.99. The water filter helps remove metals and chlorine from tap water and the humidifier replenishes the moisture in the air, hence keeping my environment with some level of water vapors which is good for your skin, hair and sinuses.

For my hair and scalp: I wash my hair with only Apple Cider Vinegar and water; ACV rinse. To do this, use Bragg's brand ACV (just trust me, it is the best), mix 1 part vinegar and 3 parts filtered water. I put this mixture in a spray bottle and saturate my hair, concentrating on the scalp. Obviously there is no lather, but the non use of all the chemicals found in over the counter shampoos have proved my new formula works. Simply take your finger tips and gently scratch and massage your head. This will stimulate hair growth as well as lift dead skin cell, dirt and dandruff. Some may wonder if my hair smells of vinegar; the answer is no. Once you apply this concoction, let it sit for at least 10 minutes (longer if you can, I go up to an hour sometimes), then follow with several thorough rinses of plain H2O. Your hair will have a squeaky type feel afterwards, but trust me it will be the softest you have ever felt once it dries. As I mentioned above, I use the oil combination to apply to my scalp once the washing process is done. By doing this, I am restoring some of the natural oils that I lose in the wash and also sweetening my locks with the smell of soothing lavender.

That's it! It was just that simple. Oh, and of course, drink plenty of water. Good water (meaning alkaline water is best), but however you can get it, drink it. Hope this helps!

How to get a Bigger Butt without Injections

2014-02-17T14:50:00.000-05:00

As you all know, the world has become absolutely obsessed with big butts. Some years ago Jennifer Lopez had her money maker insured and Nicki Minaj's booty is eye catching even from the front view, woah! In a effort to help women feel more comfortable in their skin, Bait28.com has begun to carry two undies that can assist in the enhancement and lift of your bottom. However, some folks seem to have an issue with that option so I dared to ask why and delve into some alternative options as well.

The Brazilian Butt Lift Panty- As mentioned above, these undies are available at www.bait28.com. This panty's purpose is to help train your butt, while offering lift and fullness to your bottom. Think of waist trainers that hold your mid-section in while training your waist to slim down. That's what the Brazilian Butt Lift Panty does for your behind. This is definitely more of an extreme lift and looks rather wonderful in dresses (if I must say so myself).

Butt Lift Boy Short- This is much like the Brazilian Butt Lift Panty and also available on bait28.com, but this short is very wearable day to day. Take a look at it and tell me what you think.

Squats- I am a huge advocate of grinding it out in the gym. Learn how to do a proper squat here. This is the first step in toning and shaping your backside. However, I understand that squats do not always fix the issue and so the Brazilian Butt Lift Panty is a great companion to assist you while squating.

Body Sculpting/ Contouring Massages- Yes, believe it or not, you can get body contouring massages that help push fat from your waist, belly, or even thighs to your butt. I hear they make vast improvements in your shape and let's not forget the amazing benefits of massage therapy. This is worth looking into if you are having difficulties achieving the body you desire.

Create an Illusion- If your butt is stubborn and will not plump up with all the little tricks and tips mentioned above, create illusions. One way to do this is the lose your waistline. Slim that out as much as possible and I also check the waist trainers at Bait28.com. Also, peplum shirts and skirts are your friends. Any clothing that grabs you up top and flare right above your butt will give the illusion that there's more there than just air. Think A-line dress and flare skirts.

Hope this helps ladies. My question to you is, how do you feel about butt enhancements?

Protect Your Dreams

2013-11-26T14:34:00.000-05:00

Life's ups and downs are inevitable. When we do well or have good news, we like to share it with our peers, especially nowadays with Facebook and Instagram. But I am here to tell you, that is not wise. Keep your dreams and success to yourself. You see, when success is on its way to you, there will be those who are genuinely happy for you, and they are special and rare. But you will always have those 'haters' that pretend to be happy, but secretly wish bad upon you. Conscientiously and unconsciously they place doubts that "you are not capable," or they gossip amongst other miserable folks saying things like "he has never completed anything in his life," or "she needs to get with the program," and then they try to convince you that your idea is too risky and over the top. Why do they do this? Because you doing good, shows them up!

Their hatred and doubts is a reflection of their lack; the "woulda, shoulda, and couldas" that they did not do once upon a time due to fear. Some of them may really want to be trilled for you, but their own misery won't allow them to. Others just don't want you to succeed at all or even hear you talk about success. So they cast negative energy upon your dreams and happiness just as someone once did to them. And you know what else... some of them are your family and friends... shocker! Now this doesn't mean they do not love you, but they know no other way to advise you than what's within their comfort zone. And what they do not realize is that deep down they are selfishly trying to keep you on their level because anything more is like a mirror staring back at them saying, "why didn't you do that!"

This is why we need to start keeping our successes or soon to be success to ourselves. Protect your dreams! It is nice to have other people believe in you, but it is far better when you truly believe in yourself. Place all your positive energy and focus on materializing whatever it is you want. Trust me, in time, everyone will know of the greatness which has come to you and if for some reason it doesn't come, well guess what... no one knew to look out or hate on it in the first place.

Evenings with Him: That Little Voice Inside My Head

2013-11-05T11:56:00.000-05:00

Since moving to California I have made acquaintances with several amazing people that I never imagined would play such a pivotal role in my life. One very honest encounter has been with a man, somewhat my elder, very attractive and physically fit, outspoken (to say the least), but most impressive, his wealth of wisdom. Every time we speak, I feel as though I have just had a session in Oprah's Life Class. His wisdom is beyond anything I have ever known and I feel privileged to have dialogue with such a master of mind. Moreover, the opportunity to pass these lessons along to you.

Yesterday, we spoke about the little voice inside of our head. That voice you hear that sometimes won't shut up... you know the one... if you're thinking you have no idea what I am talking about right now, well, that's the voice! That voice is powerful. In fact, it is the single most influential dialogue amongst yourself that has gotten you right where you are today, good or bad. Now I must admit, I wasn't completely sold when he told me this, but come to think of it... he is exactly right. Although my life has been exciting and has had wonderful moments in it, it is not the abundant and fulfilling life I have dreamt of, not yet anyway.

You see, our imagination takes us on a journey, but our voice tells us that it is only a fantasy. Our little voice tells us to play it safe and places us in meritocracy, you know that space, the "good enough" zone. For example, when we think of going to workout we say, "another day, as long as my jeans still zip, I'm good" or "I just got these Spanx to hold this stuff in place." When we think of changing careers we say, "I can't stand this job, they don't pay me enough, but I'm going to stay because I'm due for a lil' raise in two months." Yes, while these are excuses and quite frankly, laziness, it is that mentality that comes from the voice that has been playing in our head from childhood. Believe it or not, that same voice is a product of how we were raised. Our parents meant no harm, they were doing the best they could for what they knew; but little did they know, most of them helped place those limiting thoughts in our head, which was replayed over and over turning the thoughts into beliefs and as adults, turning the beliefs into pieces of our life.

Here's what I know, we have to crush those thoughts and kill our old beliefs. Emerge as a new and restored being and begin to take control of you inner voice instead of allowing your inner voice to dictate your life. It takes practice, lots of it, but it can be done. Once you start talking positively and affirming what you tell yourself, you will see a positive shift in the people and things that are placed in your life. I believe that's why "he" is here. He was placed here to help me move past the obstacles that I have placed in my own way. I hope I can help you do the same.

Scandal: Should I Stay If He Strays

2013-10-06T00:42:00.001-04:00

If you’re like me and the rest of America, you’re probably hooked on ABC’s Scandal. Kerry Washington is such a dynamic woman both on screen and in real life, which is why we gasp when her character, Olivia Pope, is in trouble and cheer when she is victorious in helping her clients. When it comes to Ms. Pope’s private affairs, we somehow seem to side with her as well, clutching our blankets when she and Fitz are face to face and secretly hoping they can make time for a quickie before “Mrs. Fitz” arrives. I must admit, like you, I applaud this raunchy behavior (shame on me). But shouldn’t we find it contrary that we despise cheating in real life, yet secretly hope for Olivia Pope and Fitz to be together on television? I suppose it’s because we view Olivia being a “better candidate” for the President. After all, we have formed this alliance with Ms. Pope that naturally encourages us to favor her, right? Or perhaps we merely enjoy the 15-second adrenaline rush it gives us to see them strip and push one another against the walls of the White House.. scandalous! Is this reason enough for us to abandon our ideals of marriage and discard our beliefs in taking vows? This led me to think, is there ever a reason for a married man or woman to cheat? Ha! Of course not, too easy right! But furthermore, is there ever a reason for one to stay with a cheater like Mellie “Mrs. Fitz” Grant has done?

Now I know some of you are wondering how in the world I could even ask such a thing, but this is an honest question; is there EVER a reason for one to stay once their spouse has strayed (I rhymed)?

You’ll probably be surprised to hear my response, but here it is… in short, yes. Give me a second to explain. There are so many layers to a relationship and although infidelity is wrong, people have far bigger issues than what appears on the surface. Yes, cheating is wrong and a sin might a mind you, but we are human and as humans we sometimes make mistakes. We are sometimes weak and we sometimes mess up especially when you throw issues in the mix like intimacy, children, finances, and plain ol’ contentment a.k.a. laziness. People fall off the bandwagon and usually there’s some random ass Olivia Pope waiting in the wing.

My best piece of advice actually comes from Actors Tisha Campbell- Martin and Duane Martin. I recently saw an interview with them and they explained how they have stayed together over 17 years. According to the Martins, you must first take time for yourself as husband and wife, because if you aren’t happy, no one is. Now I’ll toast to that!

Becoming a Beautiful Person

2013-10-01T16:44:00.000-04:00

Beverly Hills is where I am at this very moment... sitting in a Starbucks inhaling the aroma of arabic beans and warm milk while watching the flow of people move up and down Beverly Blvd in their designer frames, shiny boots, perfectly pressed hair and sun kissed skin. Yes, I am amongst the "beautiful people." So I started to think; what makes us beautiful? Sure our outward appearance is important, but what makes us glow? What draws the people closer to us? What makes us magnetic?

Being that I am a strong believer in attracting the energy you exude, I know that people are drawn to confidence and positivity. I have always seemed to have a way of connecting with people and it wasn't until recently that I truly understood why. Let me explain how you can become a 'beautiful person,' but understand it is far more than the way you look. Think about all the folks whom are outwardly unattractive according to societies standards, but always draw a crowd. How do they do that?

The first step in being magnetic and irresistible in love, business, and friendships is letting your guard down. We are so used to people judging us or perceiving us in such a way that we mask our true self. That is the first thing that pushes people away, because you seem unreachable. Learn to allow people in. It is smart to be cautious, but do not block advancement. Be open to new people... listen to what they have to say. In the same way, be open to new ideas. Be present. When you allow yourself the opportunity to view things through other people's eyes, you sometimes find exactly what you are in need of and in return you absorb information that could be useful for others. That's magical, the transference of ideas and thoughts; but more importantly, it is invaluable.

Being beautiful also means being positive. You never want to be that 'downer' type of person. We crave zest, which is why so many of us are hooked on caffeine, in search of that next joust of energy (but that's another conversation). However it is possible to gain that from human interaction. What I am saying is, be light, joyous and insightful. You must be useful, offering as much as you take... understand? Although you need information, always be in a position to offer something too even if it is only good conversation.

There is so much more to cover, so stay tuned. In the meantime, be beautiful!