Seeking Querencia

Does it pass? It does

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Tue, 31 Dec 2024 19:06:00 +0530

It'll pass

There's a thing about time that it passes. Nothing new right? I know but I think we need to look at this thought one more time. Remember the day when the whole world caved on you or the one where nothing was going right despite you trying your best to fix it or the day where you cried yourself to sleep or the one when you lost a person in your life or the day where guilt consumed you? You remember those days. Now do you remember the day where you were walking on road and it was bright day with sun on your head and you plucked a pretty flower on your way home or the day where you cooked a delicious meal for yourself and showed some love upon you or the one where you met you friends and laughed till your stomach hurts or the day where you partner got you something you very mundane that you told them once yapping or the smell of home and the comfort of your mother, you remember these days right? I bet you do. And you should too but now look back at those times can you feel that exact amount of happiness you felt that day? Can you feel that exact smile you that bloomed on your face when you saw a cute cat on the way? Or you peculiarly remember the utter sadness that the cloudy days brought or the ache in throat after you cried with all you had? Do you exactly feel that emotions right now if I were to remind you of those days? I bet not so much. This is exactly what this is about. You cannot ever again feel that exact same after that moment passes, because it will pass eventually and that’s the ironic part, because time is flowing steadily with the same rate, or is it? (its relative?) and it will pass irrespective if you had the greatest day of your life or you had a near death experience. And as soon as it’ll pass, its left just to be a memory and nothing more. You can now only see the photo and be nostalgic about how good you were feeling or just re-view that vlog you made again.

I’m not trying portray that as something not good but what I’m trying to say is that why we are waiting for that experience to pass and time to move on and then to revisit it. Why aren’t we there when its happening? Why aren’t we able to just be in the moment and not in the rush of making Instagram stories for people who doesn’t give two shits about you or why we are isolating ourselves when we need a human connection and emotional intimacy? Just a big Why. If we were to just take a step back and just try to be in present irrespective if its good or not, because if the good one gives you joy and hope the bad one gives you an insight experience of who you are? And what virtues you have as a grown individual. The not so good one gives you an experience that actually makes you grateful for the good ones. To be in the moment is one of the things I learnt this year the hard way after letting myself get consumed in the utopic site of future or the regrets of past.

If I were to ask you right now that what were the best moments and worst moment of the year and if your answer is taking a long pause while trying to remember if you even had one truly happy moment while your Instagram displayed the most amazing parts of your life even though you can’t remember one right now, I think it’s a thing to be a little concerned about and give a thought about.

As a fellow human, I ask you to try to be in the moment this upcoming year as much as you can and tell yourself the contrast of how you felt this year and the one before that. On that note, I wrote a lot this year through jumble of emotions in the form of words to immortalize those moments and emotions in ink forever and wrote a poetry collection called ‘Draft of Emotions’. A small poetry book talking about various emotions that I felt by being in the moment and not waiting till it becomes a mere memory. This year went off in the most unexpected turn of events and my book contains my experiences of it, do check it out by the below links, its available on amazon, Flipkart and book leaf publishing website. Click here for paperback. click here for E-book

I ask you to read it in the hope of letting you experience some raw emotions again or to take you back in time where you felt like that and to inspire you to try to be in the moment, with yourself, with the nerves, with the foot tapping on ground or with the laughter and smiles with your loved ones or with your red teared up wet eyes in the night. Just be there. With yourself. And the next time when you’ll look back at it, that experience will alter something in your head.

Read it and do write how it made you feel and give your valuable feedback. You can leave your review in here in comments or this accounts inbox. Tap here

Happy new year,

Loads of strength,

Seeking querencia.

Human connection

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Wed, 30 Oct 2024 11:42:00 +0530

Human connection

I think we have lost touch of it a while ago, in our quest to self-improve and in the brain rot that is out there we have somehow forgotten that we are social beings, which used to live and exist in groups and not isolated. But this so-called trend of being with yourself has taken a dirty turn where we have neglected what human connections does to us and trying to be alone so hard to fight things and get through them that we lose hope in the way and calling out seems a senseless pathetic cry for help but this is not how it was supposed to be. So, lets rewind a little and understand what human connection means.

Human connection isn’t just being intimate with your partner or hugging someone though these can a form of it but it is just not that. Human as a species has evolved over time from learning how to survive in wild, to feeding the hunt to your people, to burying your dead ones to now just a species left to sit in front of screens and blaming themselves on everything (you see how pathetic it looks a third point of view now). We as a generation or community or just a species is failing terribly and we aren’t even realizing it, the fact that you have not talked to one of your really good mates of childhood who meant so much to you in so many years just because you were apparently too busy, and that hustle has given you everything you wanted in life as reminiscing the good time means nothing more than feel good emotion. Mark the sarcasm here. This isn’t to taunt you but if you are taking it as one then that’s great too but primarily it’s to show you that as the time passes, losing the sense of human connections in form of a 10 min walk to a simple lunch or just sitting with someone who matters to you when you’re alone rather than letting yourself get consumed in absurd things and thoughts or just talking and smiling at that stranger instead of looking down at your phone is just making you less of life and more fragile from within.

You should realise that there is reason behind every emotion that exist for example, if love as an emotion is just a myth, then grief wouldn’t exist, people won’t lose their spark when a sharer of this ridiculous of a life leaves them. Grief exists to show that you are meant to love. Similarly thrill exists to show that we can feel fear too. What I want you to take from it is not that don’t love or thrill is better than fear, it’s that we humans were made to exist together and not in cyber cubicle, because if that was the case then then these emotions wouldn’t exist. Then you wouldn’t grieve the loss of someone when they leave but rather just feel sympathy.

You know why its easier to love animals, because when you love a being which can’t speak and its not self-conscious then we love them for just existing, not for what they can bring or can do but how giving them love brings us more peace. How by loving them like a habit and not a chore fills us with more life. Unconditionally as the books says. And there’s nothing wrong in doing this what’s more critical to realise is that giving out love bring you more of it and not receiving it. I’m not saying don’t receive it but rather start giving it out to the creations of this abode, be it an animal, a stranger looking lost in his life, an orphan looking hungry on sideway of road, your long-forgotten friend which made your childhood memorable or just simply to the people who claim to love you. Receive their love and give it out because it’s one thing that doesn’t become less when given but rather more. This is a what human connection supposed to looks like. It’s as mundane as salt in existence. Only the lack of it makes you realise the tasteless food. In no means it’s says that you shouldn’t spend time alone or be in your own bubble but spending time alone and rotting in self-sabotage were two different things last, I remember. Remember the difference between them.

This note is just to remind you to try and go live a life how you were supposed to, give your friend a flower, hug someone you love, buy a coffee to a stranger, walk with yourself or just take a damn nap! You need to be able to disconnect from the life you were being brain fed to live to connect to the one which you should. Earn money but have someone to spend it with, travel as much as you can but have someone to share its stories too. Human connection isn’t about making people everything but rather loving yourself so much so to be able to give yourself all the experiences and emotions that exist in world to feel.

There's a African proverb, “when death finds you, may it find you alive”

Loads of strength

Seeking querencia

La-Hasil dreams

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Mon, 1 Jul 2024 06:21:00 +0530

La-Hasil dreams

Dreams, the one we see when are asleep and the we chase while we are awake. They are called dreams. We see some, we fear some, we achieve some, we lose some, that’s what they say about dreams. But what happens to those unachievable dreams, the la-Hasil ones, the one you wanted even on the stake of your life, those dreams. And when they crumble and shatter, what happens to one who dared to see them, dared to have the courage to work for it despite knowing you might just leave empty handed with dust of ashes at end. This is conversation between two of such lost souls sitting on the edge of this bitchy thing called life.

So, she said:

And then I stood there,

Looking at them,

Looking at it all,

All that I could have seen,

All that I could have had,

Standing there as a shining prize,

The prize for which I have sold my soul,

The prize for which I’m no more,

That prize is just mocking me now,

Crowned on its throne,

High above the pedestal for me,

Far away from my sight,

And I stood there,

As if it enslaved my legs,

Captivated them,

Held me there to look at my misery,

My ruin,

My agony,

To look at what I could’ve been,

To look at what I could have had.

And the reply came:

Na-kaamyaad khaab, la-haasil khaab.

Aaik khaab jo merer seene main dafn hai muddat se

Vo khaab jo ab absaar se kahi dur ho chala hai,

Kuch dhundhla dhundhla sa nazar aata hai

Vo khaab jo dekha tha ladak-pan main,

ab la-haasil sa nazar aata hai.

Ab sochta hu vo alam gira du jo uthaye the

Vo ahad bhula jo vo khahe the

Aur bhula du vo tarana-e-baghwat jo gaaya tha

Ke main ab in lakeero ke tale kaabiz ka nazar aata hu

Majburi, mahjoori si nazar aati hai.

Loads of strength

Team Querencia

The one that goes unnoticed

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Sun, 15 Oct 2023 10:56:00 +0530

The one that goes unnoticed

A form of light is dark

disguising as a piece of Calm

A form of dark is light

hiding under the layers of it

They' ve always been there

Silently pacing on the surface

difficult to notice

harder to observe

yet it still there

on days the pulse is throbbing on neck

bringing a thick emotion on the deck

on others tis faint,

like it might end here

But what can i say

the inability to understand itself is a human trait

the littles being weeps over the insignificant

While what matters has always been floating

on this surface of light and dark.

17 March 23

A piece about light and dark and how they are a part of one.

Loads of strength

Team Querencia

Let's cry

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Wed, 30 Aug 2023 12:39:00 +0530

Let's cry

Let's cry cause saving our tears for another day doesn't really help. Not clickbaiting but this is something I have realised very late over the course of time and I don't want you to do that. So let's go back to the Nearthethal day's One thing that they knew very well apart from being excellent at survival was compassion, one of the strongest emotions, and it was not superficial but they had a deep rooted sense of compassion. And just so you know they existed 40,000-50,000 years ago. The noticeable fact is that way before we came into existence, emotions were there. Our ancestors not only felt emotions but displayed them too. The questionable thing is that what exactly happened in all those years in between is that now modern homo sapiens are trying their best to not be human, not feel things, not to let their emotions out and just be a primate.

And if we talk about crying, oh lord so many opinions are gonna hold up, though I'm not disrespecting yours perhaps have you ever thought about the significance of tears?if Yes, good and if not, then let me put forward what I came up with.

Have you ever seen a newborn being birthed? I haven't too but here's what science says. You see in the womb, the baby doesn't exactly respire like we do. Now if you're shocked let me shock you even more. The first time a child respires is when they cry for the first time after birth. Amazed? I was too. That first cry is what makes that baby alive, human. Now think about it, your entry in this world is not welcomed by a choir of laughter or a full grin. It is welcomed with a strangled cry that comes from the back of your throat. Then tell me why do we hold ourselves back when we think that we're gonna cry, Why do we hold back that river convincing ourselves that it's something we should not do, why do we exile the need of it when it's something that comes naturally, humanly to us in a pure virtue, perhaps it's to show us that we are strong, right? Time to break that myth.

Now the opinions are going highway saying that tears make us weak, fragile, vulnerable and guess what? You're correct. Because making us vulnerable is the whole point. The moment we cry, we are nothing but full of raw human-ness. We as being are most naturally, emotionally available at that time and that makes us humble. It lets us know ourselves beneath all the layers and guards we have built around us throughout life. And I must say that those guards are necessary, but they are there for other people, not for you. Not for you to become a stranger in front of yourself. Because if you did then you have destroyed the only safe place you had and that's you. To be able to be there with yourself without guards and walls, to be able to see who you are at the most vulnerable, naked and raw state is the most intimate thing you could do for yourself.

And secondly, if crying made us weak then I don't think we'd be alive, yes? Think about it, something that makes us alive, how can it ever make you an ounce weak. And since we are breaking myths today, allow me to break another one. The word weak is a subjective and a comparative term which means that it's up to you how you define weakness and since you have your own definition of it, one can be as strong or weak depending on how you want them to be. And the same concept work with strength.

The bitter reality of today is that, if you keep up with your daily escapism there will surely be a time that'll come where you will be so pent up and overwhelmed by everything and at that time where you just want to cry, believe me you won't be to shed a single tear. You'll be trying so hard to just let it all out, but you won't be able to. And this certainly not because of a medical condition but because that action will feel so foreign to you that it will become hard to see it's significance beyond your needs of that moment.

So people go to nearest mirror and look into your eyes and shed a few tears because we know that saving our tears is not gonna help.

Loads of strength

Team Querencia

Symphony of memories

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Mon, 24 Jul 2023 17:19:00 +0530

Symphony of memories

Life is strange
Things happen

We forget some
While some turn into memories
While some are happy, some are sad
Wait long enough, and

Watch them change like seasons
Each moment, a brushstroke
On the canvas of our lives
Colors may fade or deepen
As the mosaic of time unwinds

Cherish the joys, let go of pain
Embrace the ebb and flow
For in the passage of moments
Our stories continue to grow

Life's river carries us forward
Through laughter, tears, and sighs
Every experience we encounter
Becomes a chapter as time flies

So treasure each precious instant
As the days slip through our hands
For in the symphony of memories
Our journey's intricate and grand.

As we come to the end of our very special conversation,I want you to take away something from it. I want you to remember that life is indeed a strange journey, full of unpredictable instances and outcomes. We tend to forget most of these moments, while being busy in the small pranks life pulls off on us everyday, but some precious moments carve themselves deep into our hearts in the form of unforgettable memories that stay with us forever.

Embrace the magic of each passing moment and treasure the symphony of life's experiences that shape who you are. In the grand mosaic of time, find joy in the little things and allow these cherished memories to bring warmth to your soul. For it is in these moments that the true beauty and wonder of life reside.

Allow these moments to become your city of memories, with each house, each pasture, each hill and each valley depicting a unique story from your life. Each incident, whether it brought joy or sorrow holds a special place in that magical world, let the roses depict the first time you fell in love and the thorns be the pain of heartbreak, let the rivers be the times when life shoved it's challenges at you, and let the boats remind you how gracefully you conquered and sailed through them all. So embrace life and it's memories, as we both know that no one loves to be strolling into a vast expanse of nothingness to look onto.

Lastly, I want to add something on why this piece is close to my being. I spent my last year at this amazing place and it has changed how I see and percieve things including the world, life, home, and everything in between. I won't dig deep about my experience there but what i want for you is to go back to the time/place/moment or whatever it was which felt like the absolute blackhole of memory where the things you felt was so intense that it somewhere affected the trajectory of who you are right now. I want you to go back there and think about how it changed the miniscule things about you. Introspect about it and tells us in comments what you've got at the end.

Loads of Strength

Team Querencia

Life happens

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Fri, 12 May 2023 17:55:00 +0530

LIFE HAPPENS

See people even though we all have different definitions of life but we can still ground to this one common part that it has a tendency to happen. Life happens. In Fact it is happening right now. It's happening all around us at every instinct and the thing is that we can not even stop it. All we do is to get through either willingly or unwillingly. I think it's high time to dig deep into this.

Starting with the basics, life is nothing but a series of events good, bad, neutral everything. Sometimes they connect and on the others they don't. But in either of them all these events have always been a part of a phase, a peculiar one each time and these phases collectively make what we call LIFE. At each point in life you are in one of your phases which are connected to the events that are happening or perhaps I Should say that phase defines the events and not the other way around because in the end when you look back and realise how each and every thing was meant to happen for that part of your life. Now the only thing that bothers the shit out of us is that we don't know what the phase is about when it's happening. And that's why we just always look at tomorrow to connect things. The interesting thing is that phases don't have to be equally good or bad nor they have to be of the same time period because if they would then they won't be unique anymore.

You honey right now is in one of your phases that you don't know what it's about. Everyday you wake up, you are getting through things. Sometimes the experience is good and someday it's not. But you're still getting it. As each day goes by and time flies things will start to come around. Mark the word start. And when it's time is done, one day you'll realise what this phase was about. It can be about grief, joy, hurt, peace, existence or any possible thing in the world. Perhaps the most important part is still left out, it's that no matter what this part of your life was about, if you do not embrace and accept it, there is always going to a part of you that is unhealed because accepting things meaning to let them be irrespective of your wish for them and this thing honey heals you unknowingly. And the Secret advice is that don't just embrace the sad ones but do embrace the good and happy ones while they last because in life, at times you'll need that sense of content within you When everything around you is nothing but Chaos.

By any Chance if you were to avoid or for the lack of better words escape that part of phase or not acknowledge it, will always result in something that's worse than the phase itself because here comes the ugly of being, just being alive. If you don't accept it, it will still be there within you but now in some more vulnerable and shaded part. And with time as these unaccepted parts pile up, they are gonna rotten you from inside and only then they will allow you to explode. And as bad as it sounds, believe me the reality is worse.

Reflect on things and life whenever you can. Acknowledge the parts of you that have grown and that haven't. Start being a little more understanding towards yourself rather than just saying that you understand because life is happening and it spares none. So either survive it with grace or just survive at last. Choose your pick love.

Loads of strength

seeking Querencia

Breathe in a litte

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Thu, 26 Jan 2023 14:10:00 +0530

Breathe in a litte

Breathe in,

Breathe out.

Repeat with me.

Don't you think it's been a while since you've done that ?

Your body is not just a vessel for you to live in and your mind is not just a machine to work with. But lately it's been like this, that's the reason Why I asked you to breathe today. Let your mind and body breathe a little, they deserve it, you deserve it. After everything they have been through with you, you're now just gonna overlook them? I bet you're doing exactly that right how, but let me tell you something, it's all alight because sometimes it is like this. The neglect that you've been encountering lately within yourself, towards yourself, the feel of ' I'm tired now' or 'I can't now' or ' I don't know what's happening' or ' my head is pounding continuously' are simply there because you are 'burnout'. May be you're burnout physically, mentally, emotionally, or may all at once but I can guarantee that you are having at least one of these right now. The fact that we are all somewhere growing weary and that's kinda okay. But what's not okay is not letting yourself breathe both figuratively and literally.

So let's do this once more before we dive deep into breathing,

Breath in,

Breath out,

Slowly Repeat.

So since We've concluded that you are burned out then let just start this by a little questionnaire.

• What do you think is the cause of you over wearing yourself?

• Was it a good reason? Good enough for you to put yourself beneath it?

• If not, then why did you do it in the first place?

• Do you think lately you have been less attentive towards your needs about What your mind and body needs?

• Do you Really thinks that all the other things are more important that you prioritize yourself below it? And do you Really think it’s worthy in the long run?

So people the questions are there answer them and analyse yourself. Now getting Back to what I was talking about, BREATHING.

First, in the literal sense:

The magical Broom

I personally consider breathing ( in literal sense ) a Magical broom because it can do all the shit that other techniques or methods do in unbearable amount of time. We all have been there at least once, and in that moment either you're mind is racing at 100km/hr while you're body is asking for relief or your body is active but you're mind need rest. This is quite common perhaps tackling it is the real game, so here is the magical broom, okay enough with fairy thing and let's talk about it in reality. This is a simple breathing exercise, all you gotta do is breathe, yeah it is that simple. Suppose, you are laying in your bed in order to get some sleep but instead you're mind is going highway, you're getting all the thoughts, intrusive ideas, life Changing shit and what not. Here the simplest way to calm down your blain is to breath. Focus on your breathing. Start it by taking short and deep breaths and then Slowly taking long and light breaths(you might have heard the opposite of this but believe me this works). Do this meanwhile focusing on each and every breath. Feel the air through you nose and just keep doing that. Without realizing, by now you will start feeling little sleepy and tada that's what we wanted.

Now a very basic question is raised and that is what happened after doing mundane breathing?

The answer is also pretty basic, you co-ordinated your mind and body through this technique. When you were focusing on every breath and were tracing it's path, at that time both your mind and body were aligned towards one single easy and feel good task, that thing co-ordinated your mind and body to work towards a single task instead of going south and north poles. It was just another way of talking with yourself, When you are your primal attention. And that undivided attention leads to creating a calm effect that does not only soothes your system but also give you sense of clarity.

The Second Context

Secondly, We are considering this in metaphoric and figurative way. When I ask to breathe, I am asking you to relax, I am asking you to tune out all the screaming noises, forbid yourself to work and have sometime for yourself and to yourself. Go on a walk and breathe in the air or take a long hot shower and release all those tension that has been built up in your muscles or do any simple thing that relaxes you and provide you content. It can be as mundane as making yourself a comfort meal or doing any activity that you like. Or it can be just talking to your person, The person with whom you feeI a sense of understanding and homely comfort.

What I Want for you in to Stop over wearing yourself and take break from all the ‘overs’, the Overthinking, the overstressing, the overworking, the overstimulation and any other over you can think of and for sometime give yourself time to appreciate your efforts. Start Understanding your own psychic, probably the best thing you'd do for yourself.

THIS:

Even if you didn't understand a single thing then just read this ; think of all of this as working out relationships. When you just start dating, thing goes smoothly all the lovey-dovey stuff and as time passes things change in your life like your career status, family issues and with that new problem arises. Perhaps if you start tackling all your problems alone and start becoming closed off to your partner who might also be going through issues like that you both will end be falling apart in the long run which you don’t want. Now the same case happens with yourself, it's just that your partner is no one other than your own self. Now it's between you and How you want your relationship to work out. How comforting and understanding you want this relationship to be. And believe me mundane things like just sleeping in for a day or ordering a takeout just because you wants matters.

Read that again.

Loads of strength

Team Querencia

Home again- A poem about longing and finding a new Querencia

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Sun, 28 Aug 2022 16:31:00 +0530

HOME AGAIN

Tis the feel

The feel of warmth

in the midst of winter

Oh, I miss it

In the Agony of leaving it behind

In the hope of moving away

In the fear of what to come

In the wrath of not to fail

In the middle of all

I Stood, Still.

could've moved,

could've stopped,

Could've returned to the place behind it all

for the feel of warmth

in the flakes of snow

Nothingless,

I waved at sun ahead

waiting to rise

Waiting to thrive

Stepped in the way pebbles of doubt

I ogled them,waiting to see what are they?

Why are they?

And who are they?

Sighing,

in the wanted need to seek Querencia

I followed the sun ahead

To touch the feel of home again

to relive the warmth again

in the midst of winter

The poem is written about the conflicting battle within the mind that most of us Experience and have been there. There is a time or was or will be but it has to be there, the time of leaving behind your Sanity, comfort and warmth of home. As simple as it looks like it is not and as hard as it looks like its not. All this depends on the way you let yourself perceive and think. Home is not just a place Where you live, it's not just your bed or desk or living area, instead it is a place that you always come back to after experiencing and enduring a hell lot of emotions, distress, overwhelming happiness, uncertainty or even Insanity for the sake of seeking comfort or to share the Satisfaction. And Each time you come home, you can feel this weird sense of Strength or Soundness through the naked wall of comfort, and Now it's not Just your Home but it's Querencia for you. It is the place where you have cried, giggled, laughed, loved and even broke down and you did all this without any sense of discomfort or hesitation because little place allows you to be vulnerable and raw without any sense of coldness. It's a emotion now and not just a place. And the most intriguing fact is that you have built it day by day, emotion by emotion, feelings by feeling and most importantly you've built it for your own sake of Strength and reliance.

So When the parting time comes, it becomes tough and Heavy to leave the place behind and to find a way to live with a new normal. But I came to understand and believe that you can have more than one Home, and each of them are respectfully equivalent. what's more interesting is that each of them have it's own form of comfort and Strength.

But a very Valid Question is still unanswered that How one can find a new home or a second Home? How you can get the old Sense of loving and Coziness from this out of the blew new place?

so, The answer is basically I don't know because there is no "WAY" for it. You Starts to develop it, Slowly and time by time and the best way to develop that Sense that feel you should Start by accepting the Change firstly and by not escaping it and then by letting your guard down for yourself.

Allow yourself.

Accept yourself.

Push Yourself.

But don't let yourself fall.

Just flow with it.

And fuck the world then.

Simple.

Stay strong

Seeking Querencia

You are Enough- A Women's day special

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Tue, 8 Mar 2022 11:38:00 +0530

A Women's day special by Team Querencia

I was literally searching for the significance of this day and then I found it, I found its importance in my life. So, for me, this day is kind of an alarm, an alarm to remind me of something, something valuable and yet important. It’s a reminder to tell me that whatever experience I have ever endured good or bad, happy or sad, constructive or destructive, it gave me nothing but STRENGTH and it made me brave and core and it told me how far I have come, and I think that is more than enough reason to celebrate, to celebrate your journey of this little life and by celebration I don’t mean partying or spending the day eating junk (even though you can do that, yeah it's allowed) its means to celebrate within you, you don’t need to tell the world that you are strong because that’s really not important but what’s important is telling yourself, like literally yourself.

You can celebrate it by doing something that makes you feel that little precious shred of happiness, like cooking yourself the comfort meal or starting that creative project that you wanted to do for so long or by just laying in the bed and sleeping (I would prefer this). Look all I wanted to say is that you don't need anyone to say that you are strong or Brave because believe me, you are as hell!

And a note for all the men’s

I think the idea of only celebrating Women's Day and not celebrating men’s day with such enthusiasm is not good at all , so I want to say this to every men that you don't need anybody's approval in your life for anything, if you are sure of what you are doing and you like what you are doing then it’s all sorted.

Let us say it for all,

"Every soul on this planet is beautiful in its own way and has some darkness of its own. We don't need to judge each other based on anything, lastly, everybody is strong, it’s just that some of us give up easily and some don’t but that doesn’t mean you are weak in any sense possible so just hold onto yourself and care for yourself!"

Again, a very radiant and self-assertive women’s day to every woman.

Thank you

Loads of strength

Seeking querencia

Beautifully Desiccating- A poem about life and it's end

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Mon, 7 Mar 2022 14:08:00 +0530

Beautifully Desiccating

Once was green and perished,

and the time came,

It stood there next to the undead soul.

Stood there, desiccating.

As Dawn goes down Dusk came,

Over and over again,

It stood still in Ache.

But to those undead souls,

It seems beautiful,

They saw the light emerging in between those branches

And they admire its dying captivity and called Beautifully desiccating.

So, the poem that you just read can be understood in multiple ways and I respect your ones also, but here is mine,

One year back I was browsing my Pinterest and then I saw this drawing of a tree whose leaves are fallen and it just standing there, and I found it simply beautiful, so I made one by myself. Time jump, a few days back I started to notice its presence on my wall again and I looked at it and thought for long and long and then I wrote this. Once this tree was green and young and it kept on being green for a long period but then slowly the leaves started to fall, one, two, three and then more and more and at the last all of them fell off. Now there is just a piece of wood standing on the earth.

The tree understood that her time has come and now she must go, and she wanted to go because she was in pain and all she wanted was some peace. But this time nature decided to play games and kept her alive even though she was in ache. Now as the third person, you saw this desiccating tree, you reminded yourself how good she was when it was all green but then you recall the reality, everything that has walked on earth has its time limit to live, breathe and then has to die. And sadly, her time is near, and she knows it and she also knows how vulnerable she is right now. Now as an undead soul I have two options

(a)I can grieve and feel sorry for her and remind her how good the old times were

(b)I can lay down on the ground below her and can tell her how beautiful she is right now. I can tell her how the moonlight is coming from her branches and the stars upon are gazing at her, admiring her strength, and telling her how beautiful she is right now and how strongly she lived her life and how brave she was.

What will you choose?

Think and answer yourself.

The time when seeing you loved once losing all threads of hope because they know that their time is near, you can either make them feel the nostalgia of how freely they lived and all the memories that created with you and deep down you know how bad this nostalgia is for them, they are in pain and remembering good times as a daydream can only make them feel more OR you can tell them how strong and beautiful they are right now. You can assure them you are always gonna be there by their side even though you fear losing them and even though you are sad, you will be the one that will give them the thread of hope that they are about to lose and help them get true peace by letting them know they were loved in that vulnerable condition.

I know, I don't write this kind of thing but for a change, I tried, so as a request do let me know if you liked reading it and find something good in it.

Thank you

Loads of strength

Seeking querencia

Are you really empty or it is one of your subconscious thoughts ?

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Thu, 3 Feb 2022 12:04:00 +0530

Emptiness!?

Let's empty it.

As natural human behavior, we tend to see more negatives of something than its positives. When you feel empty you tend to see more cons of it than its pros, you mostly see it as disrupting thing for you but what if a tell you that you can turn this entire thing upside down. Yes, you can. first, a very legit question arises why do we feel empty? And the reasons can be infinite and different for every other being, but I can give you a wider view of your reason. So, every human has a strong desire for at least one thing. It can be anything and most of the time it came out to be very simple like getting that job or building yourself physically more fit or just loving your people. It literally can be any fucking little thing and that's what in Japanese culture people call it 'ikigai'. Ikigai is the thing that makes you get up in the morning and get that thing done. So basically, what happens is that when your desire or ikigai is no more than impactful and tranquil for you and you tend to get more confused about certain things then you start feeling empty from within. You remember that time when you felt so empty that you just want something to escape from reality and you did try escapism and it never helped you heal.

Now again a legit question arises how to stop feeling empty and kind of a bit broken? (Even though you aren't still you felt this way, so I consider this also). I divided the answer into four parts as follows

· 1. Know your ikigai

· 2. Learning Peace skills

· 3. Escapism

· 4. The golden way

So, let's dive deep into them!

Know your ikigai

Now as we already know what does the term ikigai means let's find out what's your ikigai. If you feel barren from within then that certainly means that your ikigai or your desire to get up in the morning isn't accurate for you. And yes, your ikigai can change over a period of time but it never drastically changes, like initially, you were a fitness lover now you hate the term gym. This cannot happen because that argument is so baseless. So, the strong desire you had may change nevertheless, it will always be related to what you truly love doing. Let me put these all-in simple words, the belief that you had on certain things that you were holding onto had changed, and now your mind needs some clarity to get back on track. so, in that case what you can do is to try exploring little things that seem to have no importance in your life. After some time maybe you come across something that will make you feel kinda complete or in other words it will make you a better person from inside every day.

Learning peace skill

So, many people aren't empty or broken and just need a break from their hadronic treadmill life. But if this isn't the case then you need to give yourself some time, I mean a lot of time. When you start living for the satisfaction and happiness of other people then it will make you hollow from the inside, like there is nothing interesting and fun left within you. And hence you need to learn some peace skills for your betterment. But wait you may be wondering what the hell is a peace skill? The skills by which you can persuade your mind to experience a more peaceful life, that was a very heavy statement what I meant is that learning and practicing these skills will provide you enough peace to cope with the emptiness. Some of my favorite peace skills are the art of letting things happen,, self-reflection, practicing gratitude, and many more simple things.

Escapism

Believe me, this is not a way to heal yourself it just makes you more fragile than ever. I have added this just to warn you because this is like slow poison, initially, everything seems alright, and you enjoy escapism then with time you start realizing that it's not good for you, but you still resist ending it, and finally, it left you with nothing but a fragile human.

The golden way

Oh my god, you were very anticipated about this and why wouldn't you because Afterall it is the best way, isn't it? So now let me put forward the harsh reality of feeling emptiness

You cannot stop feeling empty, broken, nothingness or whatsoever until the time you understand that you are quite in a vulnerable condition right now and it is a very human thing to be vulnerable sometimes, in fact, it develops our personality and provides a wider view of the same old shit. But it gets worse when you think of it as a pain that cannot be ended instead of thinking that I am enduring some experience and I just need some time for myself and it will be alright in the end, because remember

"You're not broken,

You're just a bit confused"

And lastly, let's talk about some mathematics. Do you know about the invention of zero? Aryabhata an Indian discovered zero back in the time when society was already so much advanced in many things but still at that time no one thought about zero, why so? have you ever wondered why? me tell you, so majorly in the western culture at that time either something was good or was bad, this or that, black or white. You know because of this typical differentiation the people of the west were not even able to think of something in between black and white, in between good, or bad and that's where the ancient thinking of Indians came into the play. Meditation was a very big key to the monks in India at that time and if you ask what meditation you are will get to know the answer that meditation is very much related to emptiness. When someone says that they are having thoughts about certain things while meditating, it may be acceptable as meditation in the west but in India meditation is vastly defined as feeling the true emptiness within. And that's where Indian monks were able to draw a fine line between feeling emotion and not feeling emotion, having thoughts about something, and not having any thoughts and that was EMPTINESS. They practiced meditation like a devotional activity to get to this level of it. So, Aryabhata came up with none of something, Zero! He considered nothingness as a part of something and called zero "SHUNYA- the nothingness" and then it changed the world and opened new doors for math. What can you interpret from this? I think I get the answer,

We have this mindset of either feeling the happiest ever or feeling you don't deserve this world, but there is a fine line between them and that's where healthy human emotion lives. If you're not happy one day that doesn't mean you're sad or if you're not sad that doesn't mean that you have to be happy. It's just some dumb shit. No matter what situations are there is always one midline to rely on and it's called feeling the emotions, not the emotion that makes you feel.

Thank you

Loads of strength

Seeking querencia

Take a note of these for 2022

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Fri, 31 Dec 2021 23:51:00 +0530

Take a note of these for 2022

We have come to the end of 2021 and are glad that to know that you survived it too. For everyone this year was kinda complex as always. Not all days were good and not all were bad. Someday we had anxiety and someday we have hope and some days were unknown and that's what makes us human. But the chance to become better never ends. And honestly, for me this year was pretty messed up, I experienced many new things some of them taught me life while some taught me the gravity of death. So Here I'm Alive at the end of 2021 and telling you to take note of these things for 2022 for becoming a better you each day.

Life is about being

The biggest thing I learned this year was that life isn't about having plans or celebrating your achievement. You always wanted to clear that toughest exam and you prepared for it so hard or worked hard for that graduation degree but now in the end even if you had passed that exam or got the degree, you have nothing to reminisce about it now, except success. And that's what I wanted to tell you that life is about being in the moment, it's about living every moment of your journey, not waiting for your destination to celebrate. The moment you realize that life is more than a series of wanting and having is the day you won.

Practicality is important

I did some surveys to know what people learned this year for becoming better than this was one of the best of all of them. The new year resolutions that humans made are so contradictory to themselves, but they don't realize it. People who never worked out want to start workout for 1 hour daily for the upcoming 365 days and that's fucking stupid because it isn't realistic. They made these resolutions based on the benefits and advantages that they have read about it. And that is the theory part of your resolution and when you do it in the gym you then realize all its pros and cons. You realize that giving yourself a break is necessary, you realize it's the motto and you understand it better each day. With every workout session, you have more knowledge, and you became your own master. And even apart from this, practicality is important for leading a satisfied life because there are many time where you can't really rely on your emotions as they suck. I'm not telling you to be heartless but to be more practical about things and life !

Anxiety is a must evil

We always fear anxiety as we have claustrophobia, and we are locked in a room. If you remember your high school physics, do you remember the term friction? It is a kinda force that opposes the motion, but it is also the reason why we can drive the car on the road. So just like this anxiety is friction and it's a necessary evil for your life. We must change the way we think, and I know that anxiety can be dangerous and need serious medication but the normal stress and anxiety that we are afraid of are not bad, it is what made us who we are. You remember that job interview in which you were nervous as fuck, and you still made it because that level of nervousness and anxiety helped you to perform better. But anxiety is way more complex topic so we will understand this in a better way in upcoming ones.

Your only priority is you

We have become these puppets of social media that whatever shit is on trending is hell good for us. I was so fed up with this so-called social media pressure which is a hypothetical concept in every aspect. I quit the social media platform which was not letting me become my priority. When you're young and you realize the gravity of death then you understand that the only thing you should be worried about right now is yourself. And All other things that mattered to you will automatically become good. Just a little bit of time for yourself can make you feel nice about yourself as a person. It can be anything a daily journal, a nice walk, or even cooking a meal can be a self-care task.

Happiness is a myth

you can't be happy every time and it's good. Just for a second think about you happily spending one day with everything going right and now every day you woke up same shit happens everything goes right. And believe me that shit is scary. Happiness is not laughing all time instead happiness is a state of satisfaction, a state you feel whenever when you do your favorite work. Doesn't matter what you are doing right now but if you are satisfied with your decisions in life then you are happy right now. The life you are living should be satisfying at last to you.

And at the last, I understood that

Lukewarm is a waste

If you are interested to do something, then go do it no matter what with great enthusiasm. Go embrace it, live it, and most importantly don't think about what others think. Lukewarm is no good either be an enthusiast about it or do not think about it at all.

And once the absolutely great writer , sir William Shakespeare said;

"This is above all: to thine own self be true"

He summarised my entire article in one little sentence.

And with this I want you to become just better not perfect but the better version of yourself. This article is all about what I learned this year and if this was helpful for you then we have done our work. At the last a very happy and healthy new year to everyone! So grateful for your support and we want you to let us know if you liked this article or not in the comments.

Apart from all of this , we made a little Google form for you all to know insights of your mind regrading seeking Querencia.

https://forms.gle/oM4wKwtpeYTZMrXA6

Do fill this with honesty and keep supporting!

Loads of strength

Stay safe

Thank you

Seeking Querencia

Contradictory Choices

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Fri, 10 Dec 2021 15:28:00 +0530

Contradictory Choices

I wish I could be reborn

In this life only to get that done

With same choices

Under different circumstances

Not just to paint the canvas with glittery gold

Rather design my own with a hint of blue, green, and white

Tried, I had

Tired, I am

Furnishing these wild running thoughts

With no final destination

hoping this time pain will become a pleasure,

would regain that touch of coffee beans

and would get the answer of WHY?

Entangling my peace, my sanity

and losing my sagacity

Do I know how to feel?

maybe not

maybe I’m worse than that

Or is it my mind playing tricks

Or the above heavens imparting a message?

or the wind is pushing me?

Urge you to see the broken behind rude words

Disappointment behind angry eyes

The strength behind watery falls

Silence holding Unspoken pain

Who is YOU?

Is it me? Telling to dust me up

Throwing light?

Spreading darkness?

sprinkling tears?

Making serene cloudy grey?

the wait is all I can do

In this life.

or maybe I should lay down gazing at the moon

and stop anticipating and rebuild the castle here in the mud

You remember that one stage in your life where you feel you could just be reborn. Yeah, you wished for that but the reality isn't supporting you. But what if I told you that you could be reborn, yes you could. the life that you are living right now is the reflection of the choices that you made in the past and by changing your choices in this life, you can live an entirely new life. I am not asking you to make THE perfect decision but instead what I am asking you is that make those decisions which set your peace level high. The glittery gold life can only be seen on Instagram but you made your little faded pastel life.

Most of the you went to bed with same question of WHY? and don't get the right answer. But that doesn't mean you stop searching for the answer or you will stop working in order to know and understand your answer. Choices are tough and painful but changing the way your made them by improvising your perception is the key.

Human minds are so developed that they do not stop working even when we are asleep and all thoughts are running through your head and you want them to stop and stop feeling unknown grey within yourself. But listen to me you can’t stop those thoughts but what you can stop is pulling yourself down. Even if you are at the lowest stage of your life you can still be better by just changing the way you see things and making those little choices differently.

Co-written by Raksha Arora

Thank you

stay safe

Loads of strength

Mental health in an unequal world

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Sun, 10 Oct 2021 17:05:00 +0530

An unequal world

Mental health is a very misunderstood concept. Some think that mental health meant having a perfect mental equilibrium where no stress, anxiety, and negativity exist at all but let me correct you because mental health is about having all the stress anxiety, tension and whatever negative thing can be but not letting any of those things takes over you. Everybody is going through at least something in their life but that does not mean that we all start crying about our problems. The presence of problems in one’s life makes it challenging moreover sometimes we lose and sometimes we won. But if you let those emotions drive your life then bro it's not good, it's worse.

I'm not saying that sad or negative emotion is bad or good but what I am trying to convey is that Emotion is a part of human life and without them, there is no life but as the doctor suggest that balanced diet is necessary for the proper functioning of your body or else it will be malnutrition. The same way, don't let The excess of positive or negative emotion enter and attacks your subconscious.

And remember life can be miserable but only you have the right to make it more miserable or less miserable.

Now a question arises that what should we do to get a better mental state?

Again, let me burst some of your misconceptions about practicing mental health

Eu-thoughting (true meditation) - Meditation has become such a void nowadays that people do this just to post those Instagram stories and telling people that now they have become monks. I didn't say that they don't do meditation, they surely do but it's the pseudo meditation.

True or Eu-mediation doesn't require a special place or specific time or some perfect environment. People practice Eu-meditation because they want to talk to their subconscious, and it can be done even on your bed or office desk or even while bathing. Even Negativity is great, this one thing has the power to build the castle or to bring down that castle now it's up to you how you use it. Go and read our article on self-rejection to understand this better.

Just like this many things are misunderstood. And if you ask me that what is the one way by which you will become mentally stable? then my answer would be: Instead of searching it everywhere on social media, internet and seeing some of the videos on mental health you should go and connect with your family, start talking about your issues to your loved ones. It can be a friend, sister, brother, or even parents. Build a connection with them, spend time with them, and feel free to tell them anything about your life. Some day you will learn from them and another day they will learn from you. And if you want you can mail us your problem and we will ensure that your issue will be resolved.

On this International mental health day, Team querencia wants you to connect with your loved once and build better you by using those negative emotion that was created to bring you down. And you should be proud of yourself of every thing you do to become better. Nobody is perfect and the fact that you don't even need to become perfect. Start accepting yourself and then see the world from a new perspective. Be less judgmental because before judging anyone you always judge yourself. And always Treat yourself with kindness.

Thank you

Loads of strength

Stay safe

Team querencia

The talk you need to do right now with yourself

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Fri, 27 Aug 2021 14:20:00 +0530

The soul Talk

Again, a dusky day, the same roughness of pain with a warm blow of air
There was some anonymous chaos which was louder than ever in my conscious; I can see the soul felling off the waterfall
Even the bliss caffeine can’t hold it, he was asking where to go? what to do? And I answered with no hope, knowing that this is all messed up “we will go due west and do what feels wrong”
Soul asked again are you sure?
He replied no I’m not sure, but I surely know that winds never lie
He was fighting within hard himself against that dark spot like marijuana for him and his greatest nightmare come true
Just like those dark grey clouds, his darkness overlaps his soul which was now no longer pure
He wrecked down himself and became reckless and restless. He certainly knew that this is his end
His soul was dying each day, his arm was slouching and that night he snapped his finger to change it all
He sat down and talked with that fallen angel and made one thing clear that he could bring down a castle for his soul.
he can’t let anyone deprive his spirit. he mocked at dark with his old niche of virtue.
he took back all the tokens of self from dark and lead his promenade with the faintest pinch of self-doubt

The above talk solely talks about how the darkness and negativity

within ourselves are spreading over the good and calm part of ourselves.

The reason why we let this darkness spread is simply that we don't really love our soul and its spirit(it's bitter but true). The day you start loving your soul more than anything and any person is the day you can overcome those dark clouds.

And if you want to know the reason behind this is not a loving part of your soul then listen, Pain is endless in this materialist world and you consider yourselves to be the most horrible person ever who deserves all the pain and somewhere by just thinking like this, you let the negativity deprive your soul. We always took self-discipline as hurting ourselves mentally in order to become people's favorite. but in reality, the self - discipline is meant to accept ourselves and then understand the reason behind the pain. If your reason is worthy enough then your soul will be ready to receive any pain in order to get the motive behind the struggle.

All I want to convey through this was -

"I can understand that you are not doing good but don't let and negativity deprive your spirit because once you let it then the consequences are worse."

Do tell us in the comments if you like this kind of metaphoric and comprehensive content!

Loads of strength!

Thank you!

75th independence important Message

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Sun, 15 Aug 2021 13:29:00 +0530

Happy 75th independence day

Independence Day is more than just a day in our daily life, it's more than just uploading a picture or some sort of video on your social media accounts, it's more than just doing flag hosting for the sake of a ritual, it's more than just typing a simple Independence Day wishes and then sending it to every chat. t's a day to feel gratitude about life because you have it today by all the sacrifices made by our freedom fighters. We always emphasize freedom but sometimes we forget to thank those great souls who gave it to us.

It's a day to celebrate every win of yours that contributes to the nation's glory.

A day to take an oath that you will serve this country in any way possible.

It's not about how much you show others that you love your country instead it's more about how passionately can love the mitti of this country.

And when we love something passionately, we don't afraid to show it.

Independence Day should not only be celebrated on the 15th of August, but it should be celebrated the entire year within ourselves.

And we should also teach this thing to the younger ones, that no matter what you should love the country. You may not like the system but that doesn't mean that you should feel enmity for the nation.

It was, is, and will always be your duty to love your nation as passionately you can!

Stay Strong !

Loads of strength!

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Night light

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Sat, 10 Jul 2021 20:00:00 +0530

NIGHT LIGHT

There is spark of glow behind this darkness brought by our own demons.

These soft cloud witnesses it.

This blowing wind that touches the leaves of the dark tree witness it.

Far away one day this pointed light of brightened stars will witness it.

The heat that this turf is releasing will witness.

The energy of this soul that is spending on the work it has been doing since the day it was hurtled by knowing the truth of this world and all those nights standing alone in the dark hoping for the day with the dusky air and that moving clouds alone.

The work will show its potential to the demons that are created within we that believing in the work, struggles behind it and yourself will lead to summit of the world.

Where no humans left to talk about the weaknesses that it possessed one day and instead there will be the one praising to the one, they betrayed and hated.

This blowing wind that touches the leave of the dark tree will witness it.

This soft cloud will witness it that day.

Loads of strength

Team Querencia

Attitude, what's that ?

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Sat, 3 Jul 2021 19:11:00 +0530

Attitude, what's that?

We misunderstand these two words – ego and attitude. These both are important components of human life but handling these two is difficult. Let's start with the basic definition of these words. Attitude – this is a sophisticated term that defines the mental health of a person by physical behavior, on the contrary, Ego is a comprehensive term that defines the social behavior of a person. The way you act around people is directly related to your ego and the way your goals are aligned is directly related to your attitude. these two are very reactive abstract terms which means that handling these two can be difficult and this is what leads to the wrecking of a person. There should be a perfect balance of ego end attitude. Increasing ego will make you selfish, alone, and self-destructive sometimes on the other hand decrease in ego will make you a selfless and more anxious person. The same goes with attitude if you will have more attitude then you will become more mentally stubborn and your physical self will become rigid and if you will have less attitude you will become more mentally weak.

so a valid question arises that how you have a better attitude?

Attitude is not something that you can just get by snapping your finger instead it depends on the mindset. The more open-minded you will become the better your attitude will become. we, humans, make a range around us and tell ourselves not to go far behind it and this is where we are wrong, you should be always welcome different things with open arms, trying different things can be difficult sometimes but as the old one said the more experience you will gain in life the more suffice and better the pain will become. Suppose you want placement but due to some reason you are not getting the company of your choice. So what you will do (1) getting a job in a company that you don't like or (2) waiting for the right opportunity. Here this choice will define your attitude. None of the choices is bad but it may vary from one person to another depending on their mindset and their goal. And this is what attitude is about you can't develop a better attitude by seeing someone having a better attitude. It's not something that you can get from someone, it is inherited in you and you will always have a different one.

Talking about some practical ways to have a better attitude then some of my suggestions are given below –

Become a selfophile [ this term is originated by me which is a combination of 'self' = 'your own fucking self' and 'phile' = 'love'] this simply means that start loving the way you are. You may not like something that others like and it's okay. You don't need to start doing something just because the person in front of you likes doing that and this is the first rule that if you really wanna have a better attitude towards life then first become SELFOPHILE.

Always see things from different perspectives. we all are human and that is the reason why sometimes we make mistakes. So to become a better version of yourself you need to become open-minded furthermore start seeing things from every perspective possible. Maybe the reason you are on the side comes out to ethically wrong then you will thank yourself for the open-mindedness.

Understanding the difference between the sadist and staying alone. Remember that being a sadist you can never have a good attitude towards life but staying alone wouldn't affect the same. Many people find solitude in staying alone and that's okay. Becoming a sadist sometimes is something that happens to everyone, but you should not let it cross a standard limit. And that's where your intelligence is tested.

And lastly, a simple way to romanticize your life to get a positive attitude of life is to go on a self-date. This may sound idiotic, but this is fucking working trick. You can do any of your favorite's activities like dancing, singing, painting or even sleeping[ well, that's me ] or you can go out [ if possible, otherwise stay home and do this] and give yourself a treat and just eat and enjoy, no more tension or anxiety about the world just you and food [a complete love story]!

An honorable note –

Having a better attitude is not something that should be your primary goal, it develops throughout your life and sometimes depend upon the situation you are in. what's more important than attitude is to be truthful to yourself. This one thing is the driving force of everything better in your life.

Thankyou !

Loads of strength!

understand the background of Self-rejection

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Sat, 12 Jun 2021 20:53:00 +0530

Self-rejection

Suppose you are good at studies, and you are preparing for one of the toughest exams. And back in your mind you already know that there is a lot of competition but still you started the preparation with great enthusiasm. Now 4 months have passed since you have started your preparation and you feel like quitting it because you can't handle the load and you kept on overthinking about it. Finally, you quit the exam and start finding a decent job where at least you can earn your expenses. This is how self-rejection looks like even though you had the potential to crack that exam but still due to some distraction you completely forget the reason why you have started it at first and you rejected yourself before that exam reject you. This happens with all of us in both major and minor events of life but the question is that how you can stop rejecting yourself and start appreciating yourself. The answer has a lot of complexities but let me put it to you in simple words.

The upper triangle says it all. The lack of confidence leads to self-rejection and this rejection on daily basis leads to depression and anxiety. Everyone somewhere lacks confidence but that doesn't mean that everyone starts rejecting themselves. We always use our confidence in making a big decision in life but some small events in life require our confidence and attention. Like giving a mock test for your exam, here your confidence will arise from preparation. The more you prepare the more confidence you will feel and for this, you need to be attentive to your studies and your performance in the previous mock test. The simplest way to boost your confidence is to gain more and more experience and this requires time so in simple words - with time gradually you build up your confidence, it's not a one-day process.

Self-rejection can be of two types.

Successive self-denial –

This is means that using your past rejection of yourself you build up a translucent shield around your thinking brain. This means that you get the experience of your rejection and its consequences which will help you to become a better person. And here this shield is translucent because you can still reject yourself but now this rejection will be beneficial for your thinking and feeling brain.

Depressive self-denial -

This is the most abundant type that people experience. When we once reject ourselves in any manner this will help us to escape from reality for a short time and will let us feel pleasure instead of guilt for short time. The cycle of rejection keeps ongoing, and if any small thing is not going good enough then you reject your thinking brain and its capability to achieve that small goal and frequent rejection leads to depression, anxiety, and sometimes even severe headache like a migraine.

Now how to stop this cycle of self-denial?

You need to understand this thing that self refusal is necessary for leading a healthy life and building a healthy relationship with yourself. Your question should be that how to overcome the ill effects of self-denial. Let us take an example – we all have that one friend who is more than a friend to us. He/she is our brother, sister, stand-up comedian, counselor, teacher, and even Hitler [this joke needs to be taken seriously ]. Now when that friend asks us to give remarks for their work then we never lie, we always spill out the truth and give them supportive criticism, if the work is appreciating then we appreciate it. Sometimes when he/ she did something wrong then we explain them the right path furthermore forgive them because after all, they are so good human being who is always there for us. In the same way, you need to become your own best friend first then you can overcome any self-denial in just a few days. You need to build a relationship with yourself. The time when you will understand your thinking and feeling brain then depressive self-denial will become successive self-denial.

and last but the most important advice is that Trust your intuition and let the universe do its thing by not rejecting yourself !!

You can check out our podcast on building and maintain a relationship and do tell us in the comment the next topic for our article!

Very soon an amazing thing is coming up in which anyone can participate for more updates check out our Instagram and do follow us! [ Instagram ]

Thank you!

Stay safe!

Loads of strength!

The shocking revelation of Willpower

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Sat, 5 Jun 2021 21:25:00 +0530

Will power

Will power is something that we all have and we do use it to some extent but we are not that much aware of it and most of us would be closer to achieving all our goals if we focused on improving our willpower. The basic definition of willpower is the ability to resist short-term temptations and desires to achieve long-term goals. We can also use some synonyms to define willpower like self-control, self-discipline, self-regulation, and determination.

According to a psychological association in America and define willpower as:

1. The ability to delay gratification and resist short-term temptations to meet long-term goals.

2. The capacity to override an unwanted thought, feeling, or impulse.

3. The conscious, effortful regulation of the self, by the self.

4. A limited resource capable of being depleted.

To understand these heavy phrases in simple words you need to read the article. firstly, you need to do a check test for yourself and yourself. There is always something that we are addicted or obsessed with maybe it's sugar or maybe it's wine. Now all you need to do is just stop eating or practicing that thing for one week, if you succeed in this test then extend the time for 1 month and check that do you have the willpower to control your temptation or desire or you don't have it. If you have it then congratulation but if not then it's fine because I'll be telling you how to build it. These ways are simple yet impactful. they will not only strengthen your willpower but also, they will make you good at some other aspects of life, or in simple words, they are an easy and indirect way of building your willpower. and if you think that why we should build our willpower then let me tell you that people with greater willpower are most of the time -

1. Happier

2. Healthier

3. More satisfied in their relationships

4. Wealthier and further ahead in their careers

5. More able to manage stress and deal with conflict.

Strengthen your willpower.

Aristotle said something which is the soul of the following ways -

"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom."

Becoming self-aware

Humans are the only organism that is self-conscious and this fact also made us realize that we must be self-aware of what we are doing while we are doing it. self-awareness will not only help you build willpower but also will help you understand that what am I doing? why am I doing it? should I do it? and asking these questions to yourself is the first step of reaching mental equilibrium.

Meditate

Doing meditation will not make your mind complicate your life. It's not about sitting and listening to soulful music but it's more about sitting and talking with nature. If want to learn how to do meditation, then check out our article on nature as the best healer, or in one line it is simply - "Bring your attention to your breath. As you breathe in, just in your mind say to yourself "inhale" and "exhale" as you breathe out". The benefits of meditation are infinite but a few of them are – you will be more Attentive, Focused, you will learn Stress management, Impulse control, and become more Self-awareness. And all these things are indirectly related to willpower.

Workout

Just like meditation which is a mind exercise doing physical exercise will also make you strengthen your willpower. You need to keep one line in your mind and that is consistency over intensity is more important. Read that again! The benefit of exercise is also endless but it will make your body feel good about itself and will make you stronger than who you are today. Science shows that "green exercise" decreases stress, improves mood, and enhances self-control and focus and this green exercise is nothing but doing it with nature.

Eat the good

Scientifically eating the good will detoxify your body in many ways like eating an apple will not only detoxify your body but also provide you iron in a very generous amount. Removing toxins from your body is the same as removing the toxic people around you. Once you have removed them then you are both internally and physically more concord. Eating good has a direct relation with willpower, the more you eat junk the more irritated you will feel and you will not be able to build the willpower.

Just Relax!

This is a much-needed point because we are not relaxed most of the time. There is a lot of chaos in our head which sometimes let us feel insomnia. For becoming concord and serene and relaxing your mind in the best way possible is by reading this mantra and applying it your life -

"if people think that you are bad then be okay with that bad version of yourself in their mind. Stop giving a fuck to these things. If one thinks that you are not good at sonneting the be okay with that version"

We have talked about willpower much more deeply in our podcast and if you want to know how to overcome obstacles that come in your way of building willpower then also do check out our podcast![podcast link]

Thank you!

Stay safe!

Loads of strength!

Dealing with the change

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Tue, 1 Jun 2021 13:18:00 +0530

Dealing with change

Everyone is suffering from something and no matter what happens in one's life one thing is constant that is change. change can be of many types; it can be a positive change or a negative and sometimes it is neutral that doesn't affect your life in any way. We usually have a perception about change that change is always negative if anything bad happened in your life then this is a change but if something good happens in your life, we don't consider that as a change.

Life is not about being happy or being sad it is about being balanced. Changes are both positive and negative and we should both respect those changes. Sometimes they turned out drastic for you and on the other hand, they turn out to be the best. So, all I want to say is that we need to change our mindset towards the word change.

Dealing with change is not always easy so we all need some ways to deal with it and today here I'll be telling you three ways of dealing with change and you got to choose only one out of them.

1. Escaping- Here this escaping word deals with reality, escaping reality means the avoidance of the change that is happening in your life. You are constantly ignoring those major and minor changes and one day they will make you fragile that you will not be able to bear a small amount of pain furthermore you will be completely broken from the inside. So, this should not be your way.

2. Controlling- Here we are not talking about controlling the change as it is not in our hands but controlling the emotions and the way you react to the change. If you really wanna learn to deal with change in this way, then you got to become patient. You must give a lot of time to yourself to control your emotions and once you have control of your emotion then you will know how to react to the changes. If you know how to react to the changes then you already learn the way to deal with change.

3. Understanding- This understanding means understanding the change. This is the toughest yet the best way to deal with change. You should understand the change and its consequences. And you can only do this after experiencing all those things that are happening in your life and need to reach mental equilibrium and all this thing can be only done by learning the art of letting things happen. This art will make you understand the change even there is a lot of chaos in your head and even if you are surrounded by toxic people. Learning this art will make you more concord and will help you understand the change. [ you can check our article on the art of letting things happen article link ]. Different people take a different amount of time to understand the change. Maybe for you, it's 1year or maybe for one, it's 1 month.

The above-mentioned ways to deal with change are practical but escaping reality should never be your choice, I have mentioned it to make you aware of the cons of this method as you will become very fragile.

Making any change a new normal is difficult and if you have come here to know a quick solution that will miraculously make you deal with the change. So I'm sorry because we are here to let you understand the reality. The harsh truth of the day is that no one can ever tell you how to deal with the change because only you know your way of dealing with it. All you can do now is to be patient and let that change happen, try to understand the change but don't escape the reality face it with courage.

Go and check out our podcast on this topic. It's live on Spotify , google podcast , beaker, anchor and radio public! Podcast link

Thank you

Stay safe!

Loads of strength.

Talking with Nature

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Thu, 27 May 2021 15:59:00 +0530

Talking with Nature

You might have heard this "Nature is the best healer" but you are wondering how here I'll be telling you how. When someone goes through hardships, they don't know what they need, which becomes their reason for being insecure. And even when someone cares about them instead of being thankful or grateful they find that person irritating. The National mental health survey 2015-16 says that one in 20 Indians suffers from depression.

During the depression, we feel the loss of energy, a change in diet, restlessness, reduced concentration, changed sleeping patterns, and many more. To feel revived we prefer talking to someone but he or she may console you, encourage you and provide moral support to you but a friend can't help you in overcoming you mental problems that you are suffering. And here you gotta help yourself but remember that you are not alone Nature is with you.

I came to believe that Nature is the best healer when it helped me heal from that phase. Try to wake up early in the morning this will help you understand yourself and understand nature. When you wake up in the morning just say "good morning, it's a new beginning and smile" even if you had wasted yesterday ,but if have smile once in that day Eureka you haven't wasted that day.

Meditation is the best remedy but more than 95% of the people Misunderstood it,.you know why because of the kind of upbringing we have the mindset, our perspective towards the thing. I can say this thing because I have witnessed it. Now the very basic question arises that how to do it? it's not that difficult yet it takes patience. All you have to do is go to a calm place where you can interact with yourself and nature , where you both can talk and understand each other. Close your eyes and now slowly start experiencing that warmth and energy inside you. Hold your breath, hold it and exhale slowly furthermore repeat it. But before you do it let me tell you one thing: doing meditation for once and thinking that it will make you mentally fit or feel good, No! No miracle happens in one day It requires time, adaptation, and most importantly consistency. Being consistent is the key.

I agree that doing exercise will help you become your kind of perfect person. I also agree that doing exercise will make your body release endorphins which are the natural painkillers of the body but this only can reduce your body pain or physical suffering unless you are mentally ill-being this exercise regime doesn't work. If you let the stress disturb your mental equilibrium then anything will not work. You have to be a lot patient and consistent. Keep in touch with nature as much as possible. And to understand meditation in very simple words yet meaningful is that -

Meditation is self-limitation and self-limitation is freedom.

Thankyou!

Stay safe

Loads of strength !

The Power of pain to heal you

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Sun, 23 May 2021 15:32:00 +0530

The Power of pain to heal you

Everybody is broken from the inside no matter how much they laugh smile or stay happy, at least once in a lifetime everyone goes through a trauma/ painful period irrespective of their age. The reason why get fragmented in pieces doesn't matter but your understanding of reason matters.

There was a guy in Poland Dabrowski who was a psychologist, psychiatrist, physician, and supporter of Polish people against the Nazis in World War. Since he was against Nazis, he was sent to detention camps and was tortured. Whatever he went through in the detention center, he came out with his theory of personal development. He had summarized the process of growing through pain in his theory of positive disintegration. In his theory, Dabrowski explained that Pains and suffering aren't always damaging but instead they help us to grow. In the 1970s when people and philosophers were talking about Self-esteem, this guy came up with his theory. Initially, he wasn't recognized for his work but then after his death, his theory started getting some recognition. Now in modern medicine, this is known as a post-traumatic outgrowth. Whatever Dabrowski said in the 1970s [ fucking 50 years ago] is the thing that we need to understand right now "Psychological tension and anxieties are necessary for growth".

You should let the pain heal you. Healing doesn't mean joining the broken pieces in an algorithm but instead healing means that searching for the broken pieces and then joining them with the reason they broke so that the next time you do not need healing for that. Everybody has their healing point and you gotta go and find that out. The healing point implies that -when something will provide you peace, solitude and no matter how fucked up you are in your life, practicing that thing will heal you from any kind of distress. It can be anything, it can be you, meditation, or any other. But finding your healing point isn't easy because you are going to get through a lot of pain, shortcomings, and suffering. Healing requires time but that is worth giving because once you are healed, you are unbreakable at that peculiar point.

The harsh truth of the day is that You cannot heal yourself till the time you are accepting the fact that you are broken. Escaping reality will never make you feel the harmony. You may look happy after escaping the truth but from the inside you are decomposing. When you are getting through a lot of harsh times in your life then for once just think that Somewhere you're suffering, pain is healing you. You are healing yourself with the reason why you get shattered.

But if we rewind this article then a valid question arises that why humans get broken? The answer to this question is that we, humans, always run on the hedonic treadmill. This is a psychological theory that explains that expectation tends to adapt to the conditions and even when our expectations are fulfilled, we want things to be improved or in simple words that we are never quite satisfied. We are stuck on the hedonic treadmill, running faster and faster but not understanding what we are doing. For instance, a person wins a lottery, he will be very excited that he will become a millionaire overnight but with time his level of happiness decreases. He will adapt to the new lifestyle and it will be a new normal for him. We, humans, are never satisfied with what we have right now and that is the reason why we get broken easily. We built our expectations and then we compare our level of happiness with the result of our expectations. We think that the wealthier we are, the happier we will be in our lives, this is temporary happiness and gradually you will realize that it was an unreal aspect of happiness. Everybody is broken but no one will come and help you get healed you gotta help yourself in the process of growing from pain.

Thank you!

Stay safe

Loads of strength 💪

The Art of letting things Happen

noreply@blogger.com (Arshiya ) — Thu, 20 May 2021 17:55:00 +0530

The art of letting things happen

You might have learned a lot of life skills throughout your life but may not have learned peace skills. Just like life skills, peace skills also matter a lot in one's life because they will tell you how to lead life, fight obstacles, will make you more patient. so today let's learn a peace skill that is the art of letting things happen.

when the cloudburst and it is sprinkling
from the Sky, it reaches the wet eyes and
they cannot hold for too long &
cry long in the pain for better to happen,
but all we can do now is to let it happen.

What is the art of letting things happen? In simple words when you are stuck in a condition and you know that you cannot do anything except letting it happen, but you are still persistent to accept it. In our life, we all want things to be in our influence, and sometimes when they go opposite to what we want them, then we cannot let them happen because our mind didn't allow us to. It may sound easy to do but, it is way more challenging than you think. We, humans, suppose ourselves to be the most superior creature which is incorrect, and we want everything to go positive, right, and perfect. We, humans, try to mess up with the system of nature, and in return when nature gives us solutions, we tend to take them as problems and that's what human nature is. We all are fucked up by the deeds that we do and then we blame nature.

How to practice this Art?

First thing First Accept yourself; we don't understand the power of self-support. The time when you will start accepting the way you are in every fucking situation then only you can learn this art. Accepting means having a reality check with yourself, see your flaws and qualities, and accept because Nothing is flawless, but you are since it’s all your perspective to look at things. So go and first learn to accept yourself. Now if you have learned it so let's talk about how to practice this art.

Start focusing on these two commodities in your life, first on what you need in your life but not what you want. There is a lot of difference between the thing you need and what you want. You may want a luxurious car but, you need a comfortable small car that is under your budget. Secondly, focus on the consequences of your actions. Before doing anything just think for once that what will be the consequences of your actions.No matter Whenever wherever whatever you do should keep these two factors as a part of your decision making.

Cry when you need it, this is a very misunderstood topic people think that crying will make you weak, but those people are morons because crying makes you stronger. When you get through something and you have no option to do then cry alone, it's okay but don't let anyone misunderstand you. Crying will make you feel a little less stressful but that doesn't mean that you should always cry. Cry and then take an oath with yourself that " It is the first and the last time I am weeping over this because from tomorrow this will be my biggest strength." and this is how you can learn this art with great ease.

The last and most simple way to practice this is by showing gratitude. We all are not thankful for what we have right now but instead, we shed tears over the thing that we don't have. Practicing gratitude helps you feel more satisfied and concord, the simplest way to practice gratitude is to spend time with family, you should be so thankful to the supernatural God that you have your family right there with you. So go and practice some gratitude and by practicing all these entities, one day you will learn this art of letting things happen.

Now a question arises that why it is so important?

So here is your answer: According to me the art of letting the thing happen it's the second toughest peace skill as the first one is the art of letting go [ do let us know in comments that you want a detailed article on it]. We all are fucked up in our lives but learning this art makes you more patient and will provide you tranquillity as you will witness things going wrong but still, you will be persistent to take any action because Patience is the most sophisticated thing.

it will let you understand the importance of acceptance of the situation that doesn't go as per our will and you will become more peaceful than ever before because now you will be knowing that this specific situation is not in my control so I should better let it happen furthermore I should be prepared for what's going to happen next and should stay serene.

Thank you

stay safe

Loads of strength

💪