Goulash Surprise

Not the past nor the future but the present

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 17:14:00 PST

I'm constantly wrestling with myself. Logically, I know it is always fruitless but I persist for some reason. Wondering what if? How come? Why is life so complicated.
Some of us go to great lengths to reason and rationalize our actions or better yet in-actions. We preach this in that, our personal beliefs reasons or philosophies for naught. We stand on the pulpit spewing our ideals of our own righteousness. And to what end? As a thinly vieled excuse for our lack of accountability? Or, could it be to make ourselves and others believe in our cause or thoughts?
This weekend I spent some quality time with people I had almost forgotten. People I share a common thread with - something none of us could or would keep tied together all these years... until we came together to remember. To remember what it was that we had in common. Whatever it was that kept us a part all those years melted away and was instantly comfortable. Like putting on that favorite sweater.
Although some might consider a non conventional ceremony odd or disrespectful only the family could determine what was appropiate. We all spent the day learning and remembering. Reminiscing and celebrating a past life in a very meaningful manner for those surviving. After a lovely evening, sharing, caring, eating and drinking we all parted promising to keep in touch and not forget each other.
During the ride back to the hotel it was then I had an Epiphany. What was it about that person who I had known nearly 35 years? That something unique and special?
I finally had it....he lived in the present. Not the past nor the future...till his dying day. He didn't worry - he always trusted things would work out and he was always happy to simply be alive.
He was always a tough act to follow. RIP Milt - give Teri a hug for me - thanks for reminding me....life is only complicated if I make it that way.

Standing tall without legs.

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 17:12:41 PST

SOMETIMES you get consumed by your personal life. At times things get compounded by other life related things I.e. your job, finances, taxes or even a clogged sink. You think to yourself why me? How did I get into this mess. Why is all this happening to me? Look at Joe that son of a bitch he has a perfect life, all the money one could want, nice car, house etc etc. Bastard!
WHEN along comes that crappy day ontop of it all. Why did I have to get a flat tire this morning? Now I'm late, how am I gonna pay for a new tire? Man my boss is gonna be pissed. Shit I'll need four new ones for that matter! Hell she is always pissed anyway... That car is a giant piece of shit and bites... Once at work you go to get a cup of Joe in the break room and wash up from changing the tire and end up spilling coffee on your shirt - Coffee and grease stains nice!!! you have a meeting with the big boss in ten... just beautiful. Later you go to lunch and see your piece of crap car with that doughnut go cart looking wheel all cars these days have as spares and you let out a sigh...So you go to the local grease pit and order a cheese burger and take the drive through to save time. Once you get back to the office instead of a cheese burger you find a tuna melt in the bag instead... damn... Drive thru's suck ass!
YOU see someone less fortunate than you. a person with a shittier car, no lunch, no job, no family, homeless whatever. For a moment you feel pity and compassion for that person and tell yourself under your breath that poor son of a bitch I suppose I could be worse off. My life isn't that bad! I should be happy! You might wonder if that asshole Joe thinks the same thing when he sees you driving around that shitty car of yours with the doughnut wheel - does he pity me? Who's the bastard now?
SEE sometimes you need to unwind. I like to take long rides on my road bike. Yesterday I rode 42+ miles. This is a great time to think and clear out those myriads of thoughts lurking in my conscience. For me these rides are almost bliss as I can really think about things and hopefully gain a better perspective about myself and what life means to me. Sometimes I just ride to ride though.
DURING my ride I noticed something up ahead of me a couple hundred feet away coming towards me heading east. It really was not a bicycle nor a jogger, skate boarder or inline skater. I really could not tell exactly since I was heading west and the sun was going down but, this thing was moving fast, human powered and was very low to the ground.
MOMENTS went by when I almost could not believe my eyes. It was a young man, a veteran I presume from one of the wars - Afghanistan or Iraq I don't know just a guess. He had on his army helmet and fatigues. He rode what looked like a low slung wheel chair with 3 wheels. The third wheel in front had a crank on it like a tricycle. He used it to propel his machine with his arms and hands as he zipped passed me I noticed this young man had no legs.
UNREALIZED power of the human spirit seems to prevail for some if you allow it and, if you can resurrect it in yourself great things are possible. These things happen everyday in the world around us. Are we paying attention? I cannot say here nor there what pushes people to strive and not settle. To overcome and prevail is an astonishing thing against all odds this young man is striving and not settling but, living...thriving.
CLEARLY, this young man despite what life has handed him stands tall and without legs. What a marvelous sight and I bet his family is very proud of him.
UNDERSTAND that this young man was quite an inspiration to me. I know he is someones son, brother, friend or father and sacrificed for this country regardless of the politics people have - I'm very proud of him for his abominable spirit and appreciative for his sacrafices.
MESSAGE to self. Life could be worse or better its really up to you...

Looking back leaping forward

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 15:04:21 PST

I'm sure there are people, bloggers all across this world looking towards 2012 with anticipation and apprehension, I'm one of them.

2011 was one of those milestone years for me as a lot has happened this year both inspirational and, at times saddening. It has felt almost surreal, I cannot believe this year is almost over when it just begun yesterday. It could be I paid more attention in 2011 compared to previous years.

In the beginning of 2011 I actually had set some loose goals for myself that I actually kept. I was more determined to achieve those goals than ever before. I did follow through with most of those I set for myself both personally and professionally.

I think it is important to stop and smell the roses but, also to take out the trash. I feel it is important to have a sense of accomplishment, acknowledgement of life and personal growth.

Some highlights from 2011:
First Grandchild born - my beautiful little Amira
Met my oldest sons future mother and father in law
Both my wife and I turned another year older - 50 holy shit
My wife and I celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary
Mother in law passed - god rest her soul
Father in law placed in a home
Lost a few child hood friends
Shit canned face book
Spent more quality time with my mom
Logged nearly 790 miles bicycling and burned an estimated 53,000 calories
Wrecked on my mountain bike 4 times luckily each time I was able to limp away from it.
Joined a softball team with my son
Went white water rafting with my two sons in Kernville
Took on a huge project at work that will span multiple years
Successfully built a team and deployed EHR at two sites (Electronic Health Records)
Actually went to the Doctor to treat my gout
Youngest son moved out with his girlfriend

Reflection: To me it is not about the fancy vacations and empty relationships nor is it about having things. I think I have always felt this way as evidenced in the above list. I believe in being honest with self, having strong work ethics, loving your family and finding truth and reality in each step. Life is short - don't waste it on B.S.

Beulah rip 8 26 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 19:49:18 PST

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hello, its odd the things we take foregranted about life relationships etc. sometimes we do not realize how those items can impact us or others for that matter.

my mother inlaw passed over a month ago. I myself did not get to say goodbye. She left behind a living husband although handicapped. I had known her for nearly 35 years. yes at times she was a quircky different person but interesting, but after her passing I realized none of that mattered.

as my wife and I worked at our best attempt at settling thier estate did I realize some important lessons. it is not about any benefit on our part. it isnot about what they did or did not do. it is not only about the good times. that mostly is meaningless. it primarily is about erasing their electronic existence and collecting family keepsakes an pictures.

what I learned...however is how they lived, the moments leading up to lifes end, the struggle. interesting personality quircks. Their beliefs and thoughts. circle of friends and influences. how they lived....what was important to them...their fears and to some extent dreams.

this part really struck me and my wife their daughter.epiphany my wife and I realized...it is not the good times that makes people stonger and come together but, her and I striving together thru a difficult experience...win or lose...together. fighting the good fight with the same goal.

despite the chaos, inexperience, risks and self sacrafice we faced the situation head on together. laughing, crying, remeniscing
or supporting one one another as we push through this life experience together. leaning on eachother as need be

they were good people with good friends and family....it is sad how it ended though...

my wife and I have spent nearly 6 days depersonalizing their estate, cleaning up, controlling chaos, preparing for their life to to be sold to people who did not know them. this is sad and inconsolable but, I fear a needed evil. I hope they forgive us...we love and miss you teri- Beulah may you forever rest in peace.

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The tools of God

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 14:32:07 PDT

“Can the liberties of a nation be thought secure when we have removed their only firm basis, a conviction in the minds of the people that these liberties are the gift of God? That they are not to be violated but with His wrath? I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever.” – Thomas Jefferson

It has been 10 years since the tragic events of 9/11 unfolded. The very core of what America represented was targeted. The twin towers a representation of our wealth and worldwide prestige, Washington DC, our political system, the Pentagon our Military might.

“The foundations of our society and our government rest so much on the teachings of the Bible that it would be difficult to support them if faith in these teachings would cease to be practically universal in our country.” – Calvin Coolidge

It took 3 years for the original build of the twin towers. I do not feel safer, stronger or more resilient as a result of this event.

Were/are the "Terrorists" manic extremists or tools of god to remind us we have swayed the path ?

“The only assurance of our nation’s safety is to lay our foundation in morality and religion.” – Abraham Lincoln

911 - Emergency wake up! What has happened over the past 10 years:

“Without God, there is no virtue, because there’s no prompting of the conscience. Without God, we’re mired in the material, that flat world that tells us only what the senses perceive. Without God, there is a coarsening of the society. And without God, democracy will not and cannot long endure.” – Ronald Reagan

2 wars costly wars

Saddam hung

Osama presumable murdered

Guantanamo still functioning

Wall Street and mortgage fiasco

Bail out of insurance, auto, banking etc industries

Loss of our world wide prestige

Economic downturn, recession, inflation...Depression

Credit rating down graded

Government indebtedness to other nations

Catastrophic natural disasters

Jonah 3:6-10⁶ When Jonah’s warning reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off his royal robes, covered himself with sackcloth and sat down in the dust. ⁷ This is the proclamation he issued in Nineveh:
“By the decree of the king and his nobles:
Do not let people or animals, herds or flocks, taste anything; do not let them eat or drink. ⁸But let people and animals be covered with sackcloth. Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. ⁹ Who knows? God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not perish.”

Then what happened... ¹⁰ When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he relented and did not bring on them the destruction he had threatened.

We have disrespected our blessings; wealth, freedom, respect, prestige and truly believe our great country was solely built of our own doing. At one time everything we did was as "one nation under god". We have forgotten that and if we look at the history of our once great nation and how it's success was intimately intertwined with faith and god we could notice a decline linear with our morals as we separate ourselves farther from faith and god thus our blessings are diminishing. If you presume this history is true and we continue on this same path then we all will be the reason for our countries undoing.

The Egyptian, Greek, Persian, Mayan and, Roman to name a few no longer exist. Will the American Empires fate become the same in history and the annuls of time?

“The fundamental basis of this nation’s law was given to Moses on the Mount. The fundamental basis of our Bill of Rights comes from the teaching we get from Exodus and St. Matthew, from Isaiah and St. Paul. I don’t think we emphasize that enough these days. If we don’t have the proper fundamental moral background, we will finally end up with a totalitarian government which does not believe in the right for anybody except the state.” – Harry Truman

In our arrogance we blamed the presiding president during that time and likely all others preceding him for all our woes and problems. We wanted change and have now put all our hope in another person (Obama). How can he live up to those expectations as a mere man? Are we still not paying attention to the warning signs of a divine intervention? A wake up call? How can one human person be solely responsible for the fate and direction of a country and people? Isn't it all of us?

U.S. President Abraham Lincoln, per a March 30, 1863 Senate resolution calling on the whole nation to pray, fast and repent. Lincoln’s proclamation reads, in part:

“And, insomuch as we know that by His Divine Law nations, like individuals, are subjected to punishments and chastisements in this world, may we not justly fear that the awful calamity of civil war which now desolates the land may be but a punishment inflicted upon us for our presumptuous sins, to the needful end of our national reformation as a whole people? We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of Heaven; we have been preserved these many years in peace and prosperity. We have grown in numbers, wealth and power, as no other nation has ever grown. But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace, and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us; and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us!”

The King of Nineveh did the same thing... It is up to you.

Selfishness

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 13:51:21 PDT

Ever wonder why you tell someone something? Is it simply sharing or is there a motive behind it either known or unrealized.

This thought has occurred to me a number times over the years and I have had to catch myself and ask have I made these comments and expected some sort of outcome to make myself feel better at someone else expense? Or is it because I want special consideration and compassion or, is it truly to express my feelings to cope with whatever it is at the time that is on my mind or bothering me.

Trying to be honest with ones self can very scary. Especially when you find things out about yourself you realize you do not like. For example: Say you experience a loss in your family. Do you tell others so they feel sorry for you? you're not the one that died right? And if they do not say something back to you do you think to yourself well they don't care... cold hearted son of bitch! Is it that you expect the other person to make you feel better about what you have just experienced?

I suppose we are more complex than that because of the possibilities depending on who that person is in relation to you that was lost and, the degree of your grief. It is somewhat expected that your own family will help each other cope but, do some of us expect people aside from our family to do the same? Friends, co-workers and acquaintances should we expect that since they only know us and not the person who passed to give us special consideration I.e. So an so is having a bad day they just lost xyz who they were very close to.

I guess it depends on the person and the people and the situation. I don't know I really have not completely come to a conclusion may never will.

The moment

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 05:55:35 PDT

Odd how life itself has it's milestones; what is interesting are the physical ones which are mostly what is similar for all people. Everyone goes through the development phases from conception, being born, learning to walk and, talk to getting old, having degraded sight and hearing then, at a later point passing away.

But there is also the mental ones too...

When we are young we cannot wait to get older. Being older has its advantages of riding a bicycle, driving a car, voting, being able to legally drink, having sex, not being accountable to your parents, getting a job and etc. and some of us at each of those points cannot wait for the next to happen. So we blast through life trying to reach each holy grail. We are always looking forward during this time of our lives never looking back thus gobbling up life as we go. During this time in our lives we tend not to think about consequences because we are invincible, strong, beautiful and full of life and excitement. Plus we have developed very few worries.

When you start to age and become older you wish you could be young again. Sometimes you might reminisce about times while younger. Everything seems to ache and your life becomes complicated. You yearn for the days when your body was strong and life was simple. You learn to worry about things. Your health, family, job and, bills these are generally always items of concern. You sometimes wonder in amazement how life has passed you by so fast. You think to yourself what if? What if I did this and not that? how would my life have turned out? Some might ache inside for the things they never did these could be simple things like spending more time with a loved one, taking that job, saying your sorry, being more charitable to quite possibly taking that trip in a foreign land. These things are different for each of us but, always remain on our minds.

Thereto is always that first moment leading up to the last. When the moment is yours and yours alone to live and die with and then no more...

Guy on a bike

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 05:51:06 PDT

The other day my daughter in law asked me why I do not ever have fun. She wanted me to join her, my son and, daughter to swim at my brothers house. I wanted to ride so I told her no thanks. Sometimes she says things like this in a playful but, antagonistic way. Personally, I find no real enjoyment swimming I'm more of a wading kinda guy if there is such a thing...also I cannot find arm floaties that fit! Plus, I really hate the extreme body temperature change jumping into a pool. There are probably other reasons why or other weird shit to I do not even realize at this moment. Anyway, I really do not mind when she gets up in my grill about these things maybe because for some reason I love her as my own even though she is a stinker sometimes. The thought of me not having fun though was almost absurd to me at that moment. Of course a little earlier I went a little postal on my oldest son before our Sunday ride. (I know not cool!) I replied back to her. What the hell are you talking about (I said this in a manner as dummy) I have fun almost everyday riding my bike. She said ohhheeewww that sounds like exercise and work to me...with her slight smile...I wondered is she trying to egg me on? she is known to do that sort of shit just to screw with you sometimes. I replied jokingly back to her "it depends on what your concept of work,exercise and, fun is". Then I quipped apparently ours is different! She left it at that with her hmm but, I continued to think about it.

There are many reasons why I love riding a bike. I even love the two songs by Queen about riding bikes. Shit I think I even have them on my playlist too! I love machines I always have. I love the freedom when riding a bike. I do not really consider it exercise now - I think, until I'm almost home after a long loop or when I'm tracking my progress; of course a few years back the doctor told me I needed more exercise plus I was getting pretty fat too. Sometimes if I have not been able to ride - I probably think about both the exercise and the fun plus how much I miss riding for some reason. When I was a kid riding a bike was never considered work or exercise at least by me. It was the only form of transportation I had until I got my license. But, mostly when I was a kid it was for fun. You could pretend to be many things while riding a bike. I liked sometimes to pretend to be a jet fighter or, an eagle or, bird of some type. Back then I think it was sort of an outlet. Now that I'm almost 50 I'm sure of it.

Bicycles IMO are very efficient and simple machines no matter what style or type I think they are also an incredible invention made of a compilation of many other technologies. Some of them are specialized for their purpose too. Of course some people in America view bicycles as exercise devices for the sole purpose of fitness. In other countries out of necessity, cost and pollution; people view bikes as normal everyday transportation of course they do not have the suburbs or urban sprawl like we do here in the states.

In my town and others I have seen the dudes on the trick $5000.00 bikes with the spandex, fancy everything, wind cheating this, weight saving that, who use their bikes for fun, exercise and prestige. I like to sometimes in my head contrast that visual with the people who use them as their sole transportation to get the recyclables to the recycling center. I actually think it quite admirable that those folks not only cleanup the streets and trash bins of recyclables by necessity but, also use a green form of transportation - who da thunk! even if it is for that purpose or not.

I have to admit I have seen and met others who try to commute via bike as much as possible (like me probably trying to get in riding time!) I have only gone to the grocery store once. This was good and bad. The good... I was able to load down my daughter, niece and myself with a full load of groceries which is very cool. The bad...I could not bring home that 30 pack of natty light!

I suppose when some people start an exercise routine and stick to it...at some point the exercise becomes something more than just exercise or work. whether it is fun, rekindling childhood memories or because it is a new found passion now for me the fun is what keeps me doing it firstly, secondly it is the exercise and thirdly sometimes when I use it for the purpose of commuting or grocery getting it is because it limits my use of fossil fuels (coming from a guy who owns an F-150!)

I think it is a crime. I peruse craigslist and it is not uncommon to find someone selling a bike because 1). They no longer ride it. 2). Their (insert body part) hurts when they ride. (why would you say this in your craigslist ad anyway?) or, 3). because they realize they purchased the bike on a whim.... meaning they had the intention to get exercise, become healthier, but, never were able to get past that point. I know bike shops need to sell bikes. I also know that people spend a crap load of money every year wanting to be healthier but, never are able to pass the hump or can dedicate themselves to it. Consequently, they purchase something with the intention of becoming healthier and fitter and it ends up on craigslist - if they are smart. Others out of fear of bad image leave it in the garage for a long time up in the rafters out of sight out of mind. When it is safe to sell I.e none of their friends knows or have forgotten, then it is safe to sell it as a vintage bike (of course I'm making some of that shit up because I really do not know for sure!)

My tips:

Determine what size bike you need. Some bikes come in x-small, small, medium, large and x-large others come in CM. The larger the CM the larger the bike. Know your size before you purchase.
Do not purchase the bike if you do not know your measurements or the seller does not know the size or both and/or you have actually stood over the bike in question (used bike)
Safe bet. when you stand over the bike you should have anywhere from 1/2 inch to 2 inches depending on the bike and what you will use it for. I.e mountain requires more space between top bar and privates...I'm sure you understand.
A smaller bike will feel more controllable at all speeds (IMO).
A larger bike could feel more comfortable but, you will be more stretched out (IMO).
When you decide you want to become fit and you think it is by cycling - stop and brake check yourself. Then look on craigslist...(why give away an expensive bike...trust me you will not get even close to what you paid for it new selling it used)
Ride because you want to and you enjoy it not for the exercise only.
Know that until you ride consistently (over time) your tender parts will hurt but, that will pass after awhile
A little everyday is better than nothing. sitting on the couch is not getting you to feel better.
Find a reason to ride your bike...Need a pack of smokes, cold beer, bag of chips - just ride (of course that sounds crazy but, it works just ride)
Make it a habit you cannot break remember that first couple of cigarettes you smoked or beer you drank...was there anything nastier? did not stop you did it?
Yes the guys and gals riding $5000.00 bikes wearing spandex are all fags...until you get your first expensive bike and tights and become one of them!
Never look down on the people who use a bike for their sole transportation that is shitty and, please remember they ride everyday and likely have the least impact to our planet with a smaller carbon foot print!

Disturbed and Normal

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 05:47:00 PDT

He sat and thought about his conundrum. The passion for life, personal growth....the feelings and thoughts...rekindled after kicking the prescribed anti depressant. Was it worth this change in his persona? He had said many times in a condescending manner how his father might be a different man if these drugs were available back then...was it really dads fault for being who he was? Is it mine? Why?

Frustration and anxiety how is it balanced with better feelings? How does it escalate into anger and rage? Is medication The answer? Masking the persons reality and identity so others are more comfortable? Is that the fix to get a complacent person? Someone considered by society more normal? Really what is normal who decides; society? What about goals and personal growth; Ideas and thoughts, love and relationships - Don't they factor in? How much is too much and considered over the top? Will the patient be able to cope with their existence after medication? What if they stopped medicating? At what level is the medicated person deemed normal and who decides that? what are the risks and nuances shouldn't they be realized?

The doctor decides? Really...what is gods plan...should not that count also?
Medication kept me in a state of compliance and also muted my personal growth...right, wrong or indifferent. Was I a better father or husband? How about person? Because of the complacency and muted persona? Maybe...but I think not. What is normal? Peoples ideals and perspective or reality? I take the later...im pissed I was muted and castrated for almost 10 years. really because I thought it best including my wife. Im no better than I was beforehand... how can we tell what is best. my doctor never had a need for those drugs herself though I trusted her nevertheless.... how did she know? Experience or by what she read or was told. Look at me now ...im back at square one...something ain't right..

I just lost 10 years..really...experiment is over...is that the best approach and treatment? Who decides...feels like b.s. to me

The Man who couldn’t wait

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 21:25:07 PDT

Pensive anxiety over took him as he planned his next steps. What if? He mused, could be! He thought, what would they think? he pondered. Although with a slight lack of self-esteem which had always plagued his existence, he simply could not help himself. Yes he felt different what else could you expect at this time. A little more energized than usual with more mental activity. He was just too excited like some small child on Christmas morning, a giddy school girl before her first kiss, the expectant father…all in anticipation… building and building, like a powder keg. His friends and family kept asking him hey you ok? Is everything alright? Simply nodding his head in response and muttering yep.

For the weeks and days prior he would pine over and over, read various articles and reviews, perform research on the internet and, daydream all in anticipation. Modeling his thoughts and concepts in his head and, attempt to mirror his expectations prior to the event happening. Sometimes this activity would consume him because he could do nothing else. Literally sitting there staring off into space with a glazed look creeping those around him out. Then after a moment of clarity he would snap out of it and say "what?"

His odd behavior would strike those around him with a sense of surrealism. Some would think to themselves, is he completely nuts? Come on… he is just joking around right? What is going on in that head of his? Others would chalk it up to him being from another planet. Those close to him thought it was because of something they did or did not do said or did not say.

The date of anticipation came and went with little to do. The man who could not wait was once again patient and calm. Which those witnessing the preceding unfolding of events thought quit bizarre. Little known to them though, he had already experienced all his excitement and anticipation. In his head before and right up to the moment of the event. Thus when the event came it was just another day as usual.

Misguided modern man

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 14:06:00 PDT

I love almost every season of the year it seems once one of them has begun I'm thinking of the next one. Generally, I'm not so crazy about winter though. It is funny if you reflect on it how the seasons model life or, is that visa versa? Every living thing goes through this process: conception/birth. immaturity/physical growth, maturity/mental growth/regeneration and finally expiration/death. I know this idea seems dark and finite but, in my opinion it is reality none the less. Every living thing on this planet cannot escape the eventual consequence of these milestones of the cycle. At least that I'm aware of. There is a literal cycle for almost everything in the natural world from rainwater to stars and so on.

When I think of these cycles I think of regeneration, sustainable, continuance... There is no magic to it, it just did not happen all on it's own is that realistic or fantasy? How could everything in the natural world and universe mimic these cycles? and do it so perfectly? Have you stepped out of your office, got off your couch, put aside your PDA, put away that xbox controller etc. to walk and explore the natural world around you? I think if you did (I could be wrong), walked on the beach, hiked through the meadows, walked along the river, strolled through the forest and observed the beauty and perfectness of gods creation (yes that is what I call it) then you might re-consider the validity of intelligent design and the possibility of god.

The fantasticness of how a dry seed can germinate in the right conditions and grow simply amazes me. The whole process of conception, gestation and birth of mammals (specifically humans) is also something quite impressive. Fresh water dependent on rain forests, oceans and cycles, how bees pollinate crops, snow and ice on mountain tops acting as fresh water reservoirs, how in each kingdom, animal, plant, insect etc. there are creatures with the sole purpose to clean up dead crap. Others who keep certain animal populations in check. This is all happenstance?

All these cycles (that we give credit to the scientific and academic community for discovery, identification and explanation) we tend to take fore-granted and some of us refuse to accept or acknowledge that it could be by intelligent design and blessings from god. To me the scientific and academic community is no better than the sorcerers, shamans and naysayers of the past who misled others into contrary ideas by re-writing history, twisting the facts (because one in their community discounts an other based on new findings) and dissuading people to believe in their story of creation and the reasons of the world. (I'm sure non-believers will easily use my argument against me by changing my words around to point my own finger back at me LOL)

For me this helps put things into perspective of importance. I do not believe humanity is on this happenstance path. I believe there is meaning to our existence but, that meaning is likely not what we think it is or want it to be.

True confessions of a gout survivor

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 14:31:54 PDT

It has been exactly one week and one day since my gout flared up that has left me nearly incapacitated the entire time. It has been a real drag not only for me but my family too. I just have felt like crap on top of the pain and discomfort of gout, sleepless nights, irritability, fever, inability to do things on my own etc. and not being able to be active.

When you are young (at least for me) it seems your body physically can snap back fairly fast but, as you age (at least in my case) each minute of strength and stamina you develop is hard earned and lost easily due to an injury or illness.

I had been working hard up to this point to become a stronger mountain biker through mountain biking, hiking, core strength training, softball and of course through better care of myself. Ironic as it seems through this effort I thought I would become untouchable by the dreaded "Gout Attack" not so though.

I noticed a few things in common leading up to this latest attack compared to my previous ones. Major weather shifts in temperature, dehydration (lack of being properly hydrated during exercise), length of recovery time (time between activities to rest and recover), minor aches and pains, (due to slight joint injuries that develop into something more), stretching (Pre and post deep stretching) and work or personal life Stressors (Timelines at work, projects, family drama etc.)

It seems in my situation all these things when lined up perfectly in the heavens produces one hell of a gout attack. I have been to the doctor, tried their medications, diets, recommendations, read online every conceivable article regarding gout, living with gout, foods to avoid, etc...etc...etc... and really am no better off than I was before or when I started to develop these attacks.

I have taken the colchicine, allopurinol etc... limited alcohol intake, quit drinking, avoided foods on the do not eat list etc. Ate healthier, lost weight started exercise regime (2.5 years ago) They have not helped me plus the drugs have some potentially serious side effects.

There are basically a couple... ok... well, a few things I miss during a gout attack (really it is more of a session)

Standing up to pee
Hugging my wife or family without fear of them hitting my sore parts
Mountain bike riding
Playing softball
Being able to move about without assistance
Painless sleep
Not being in a wheel chair

What is the point of this other than some whining? From my experience for my own observations:

There is no cure all
Doctors will try different things all of which might or might not work (I wonder if that is why they call it practicing medicine?)
Much is still not known about what specifically causes gout and what the triggers are.
Gout could be hereditary ( I do have family who had gout)
Who wants to eat anchovies and organ meat anyway?

OMG not again...Gout the untold story

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 14:32:10 PDT

About 5 years ago I had my first ever gout attack. There are literally no words to describe the pain and surprise of waking up one morning to find that simply looking at your toe hurts. I went to the doctor to get some medication stating I thought I had gout. This must of pissed off my doctor because then she said well let's see. I removed my sock delicately to reveal my swollen ankle and foot. She said hmmmf looks like it could be gout but it might also be an infection. I'm thinking to myself "are you out of your mind lady?" Then she does the unthinkable...she squeezes my foot and asks me if it hurts! I scream out "Hell yes it hurts STOP!" Well she continues it could still be an infection so I will prescribe you some antibiotics and indomethacin I nod in submission uhhhh okkk still delirious from her little act of revenge... I think to myself.. do not fuck with this bitch.

I get back home after picking up my prescriptions still writhing in pain. I take the prescriptions to find that there is no way a sane doctor would prescribe something so absolutely worthless for this type of intense pain the kind of pain you muse about cutting your leg, ankle, foot off whatever because the pain is so intense. I think to myself apparently no doctor has had this sort of pain and if they did probably got a buddy to prescribe them codine or some other serious pain killer because that is exactly one of the only things short of cutting off the ailing body part would solve the intense pain.

So the first couple of episodes remain in one foot and subside in a week or so. Overtime these become more and more intense and develops to runs its course through both ankles and feet to disable me for more than two weeks. I'm thinking what a mess this is and how do I stop or prevent it.

I started to do some online research to find what the common culprits are to later find out over the years really...no one is sure what causes it exactly, what is safe food to eat and etc...

But, that didn't stop me I limited my intake or stopped eating those items completely, over the span of the last 2.5 years I have been exercising regularly and have lost close to 30 lbs, I eat healthier, exercise, drink a minimum of 3 liters of water a day etc but, I still get these damned gout attacks. Some people I know and work with have the gall to actually try to tell me it is my fault. Although, this really pisses me off I leave it to their own ignorance and lack of compassion.

All of this experience has help me to at least anticipate when an attack will occur. Because of this I try to stay well hydrated when exercising or working in the yard on a hot day for extended lengths of time. If I do twist my ankle or hurt a joint then I use the indomethcin because it reduces swelling and sometimes prevents the onset of a gout attack for me.

I also read somewhere that when a person with gout becomes dehydrated there is a problem with potassium and calcium levels which could facilitate the trigger of an attack. I think this is somewhat true and I noticed anytime (like this current attack) that prior to it, I had been performing strenuous exercise with drinking only water...1.5 hours of mountain biking on a Sunday then softball practice on Tuesday. I did have a slight pain in the arch of my foot after riding but thought hell I'm good I'm not going to get another attack I have been following a solid regime of exercise and diet. I'm an Idiot! Most of the time I will drink during exercise at least 2-3 liters of Gatorade or some other electrolyte not this time I drank only water. Wednesday morning my ankle was swollen and I could not hardly put any wieght on that foot and ankle, Thursday I called in sick to listen to my boss tell me I could prevent it. yada yada yada whatever chick! I have stayed off my feet since Thursday thru today Saturday - my foot and ankle still are intensely painful...problem is I think I have the signs of it getting ready to jump into my other foot.

I guess it could be worse I could have calcium deposits, trophy and dis-formed limbs etc. Those poor bastards...

Another Day the Earth stood still

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Mon, 23 May 2011 12:50:08 PDT

What is interesting is how some people reacted May 21st, 2011 not that it would be different from any other flavor of controversy of the day (parties to panic, belief to dismissal etc.). Although it was another reminder to living generations and a new one for young generations that God will soon complete his work on the earth; therefore the earth will not need to exist. Sure some call these trumpet blowers fools, idiots and false prophets…but, are they really? Fools and idiots or, tools of god? Could they be part of the overall great plan? It was foretold that there would be false prophets along with many natural disasters towards the end times. To verify this all we have to do is look around at the numerous catastrophic things that are not only happening but, also have happened over the last 20 years to see how things are escalating at a high rate of speed. Not to mention the numerous warnings from perceived wackos that the earth will soon end.

I have to wonder if society at the time of Noah acted just like us. The bible claims we did… thinking these warnings were from some nut job stirring up fear and trouble. Of course they only had 7 days warning. I can recall at least 10 times during my life time so far where the earth would be destroyed either by god or man through the apocalypse or some sort of cataclysmic forces and consequences of nuclear weapons or, simply by our own destruction of the planet through pollution, population, forest and jungle deforestation and other means whether natural, super natural or man imposed.

Clearly, our planet and humanity are in a time of abnormality or greater distress then what we are used too at least perceived. Sometimes I wonder how much of our somewhat short life spans in comparisons to the natural earth have to do with our perceptions of the world around us and events that have taken place in pre historic and historic lifetimes which we did not live in.

I do not understand those who discredit the bible without even giving it a chance by, reading and studying it like they would anything else. Sure you have those that read the bible to do just that discredit and dismiss it as a fairytale. What I find as odd though is people saying well I do not like religion, the church etc... etc... etc… And chastise god because there are so many denominations or, that they do not feel they should be accountable for their actions, with disdain towards religious people who they say are this or that…because they think they are holier than thou but, do this that and another. Clearly to me this is a result of man's imperfection and disagreement with God's word by, developing their own doctrines, the doctrines of man. There are many parts of the new testament that reflect that this sort of thing was happening in some form 2000 years ago. The point is that people are disgruntled with people and their ways. Once that road block is removed then there are some that say "Well God is mean and punishes people and instructed the death of men women and children". That is partially true but, needs to be read and taken in context. In actuality it is discipline.

For me for an instant the earth stood still as I took a deep breath and let out a sigh as my son and I got into the car to go to the grocery store. I said "you know, now is when the earth is supposed to end" he replied back to me "well dad if it is I rather be with someone I love". We smiled at each other and I put the car in gear and started for the store.

The World Ending? When and by whos authority?

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Thu, 19 May 2011 15:14:50 PDT

Planetx, numerology, mayan calendars, Nostradamus, earth cycles, conspiracies, secret societies, ARRP weapons, aliens etc..

The list goes on and on...is it madness, crowd mentality, fear of the unknown? Ignorance, anti organized religion, anti establishment... what causes some to go off the hook in believing or in denial?

May 19th, 20th or the 21st 2011, 2012 and end of world rumours. Really does anyone really know? Obama? The pope? Nostradamus? The media, experts? The european union? The CIA? Mohammad? We believe a guesser?

What will happen if it does occur? Can we change that destiny? If it doesn't can we change that destiny? Will we?

Will your ideals help you if it does actually come? What do you have to lose in any case? Are you indestructible? Can you buy your way out of it? Can you fake your way out of it? Lie cheat or ignore it?

Our father who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation but, deliver us from evil.
Yours is the power and glory for ever and ever.
In jesus name.
Amen.

Are any of us ready to meet our maker? Do we care? Do we believe the possibilities?

May god forgive us our sins even if the world doesn't end tomorrow or this weekend!

Japan… stand back up

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 22:05:30 PDT

Pressure builds as devastation is released

Multiple ruin fate depends on your courage

The silent killer the unseen catastrophe

Its wickedness came when you weren't prepared

Existence destroyed many lost, astonishing fear

Civilization shattered, mayhem unleashed the science failed us

Souls taken away forever lost, Redeem yourselves remember your people

Ultra modernization what is it good for now; has it sheltered

Has it protected citizens and country from calamity?

Humanity without its technology, wavering but, unfaltering

A terrible situation aspiring to survive striving to exist

Unfathomable; living like the old days by the old ways

Unknown to this generation of fast food, instant communication, mass transit

Searching but not finding looking but not seeing, the trouble continues to exist

Numerous broken bodies ebb and flow with the tide, destruction of thee

You will rebuild become stronger, you will overcome

The invisible enemy will continue to lurk slowly destroying

This is your doing…

Have strength, have courage, and have persistence over your circumstances

We cry for you, we fear for you overcome dear friend

anti-Americanism within our own borders

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 11:08:07 PDT

We are told that stereotyping people or profiling is not politically correct that this act is insulting and is unconstitutional. The ACLU has upheld this and, affirmative action mandated it legally. Doing so has perpetuated this idea by risking the cost to American values. I would contend this concept is inept and counterproductive. This has created over legislation at its finest by trying to protect man from man with mundane and illogical policies and laws that, make everyone equal whether they want it or not or, worked for it or not or, whether they are "disadvantaged" or not, what about my forefathers and theirs? Wouldn't they have qualified as disadvantaged to? What did they do then to survive? They bucked up and worked for it, they worked extra hard because they were different, and they tried to blend into society and saved every penny to get a piece of the American dream. But, todays so called "Disadvantaged" people regardless whether they smoke crack on the couch or, work in the fields or, Steal to make ends meet, or take advantage of others or, have ran a multi-million dollar organization into the ground that is now bankrupt? How is it that these people are "disadvantage"? Except they might lack self-respect and respect for others, don't want to work for it or, are these the consequences of making a new life?

What was the difference between our forefathers,in America then, compared to today? MORALES, Principles and solid work ethics and by not sucking on the tit of society, being burdened with more taxes, laws and, socialism! Levying the worker bees is not the answer.

This whole practice of blending nationality before the identity "American" is really an insult to Americans. I.e. Black American, African American, Chinese American, Italian American, Arab American, Mexican American etc. Maybe it is because some people want to disassociate themselves or want to pay respect to their homeland. But, in my simple mind if you become an American citizen naturally, legally or even illegally over a length of time wouldn't you still be considered just an American especially, if you were born here in the United States? Where else is this done?Why do we not identify with our nationality like others do? So say you have American parents who are descendants of Italians and move to Yemen would they be categorized as American Yemeni? How about Italian American Yemeni? That is unlikely, since you would be considered and infidel and you would not be able to become a Yemeni citizen even if you wanted to unless you were Muslim. How about we choose a western country; let's pick France. You would be an Italian – American - French man. Does that make sense? Not at all you'd be called an American expatriate. Funny! The good and bad of our way of life and laws don't necessarily cross borders.

I wonder if in other countries they have American town and in it you could get bbq, hamburgers, hotdogs, Chinese food, Mexican food, pizza and etc. You know, like China town or Korean town…Not! They are called Army or Air bases! I wonder why there isn't a mass exodus from America by oppressed people! Why did the Japanese in Concentration camps during WWII or the descendants of African slaves not go back to their homeland? Could it be that America was still better than their homeland or could it have been due to a socioeconomic issue?

To manage large swaths of anything you would need to use statistical mathematics. You would try to identify trends, anomalies, commonalities etc. within certain ranges of population. Why do you think our government, federal and state asks for your race on many of their documents? Why do health care organizations ask for race? The police?, Census takers too? Do you really think this is done to find out anything other than what happens in a specific census tract other than a list of probable crimes, diseases, trends and what it is going to cost per capita, based on these trends within certain ethnic groups?

America's diversity is its greatest strength and weakest link. The diversity adds culture and creativity with new thoughts ideas which can be for the greater good but, it also spawns jealousy, hate, and greed and the very idea and practice of anti-Americanism within our own borders. Could our government be at the root of this unknowingly?

One thing that really bugs me is that some restaurants place garbage cans (poop cans) in the bathroom stalls. From what I understand this is because people from south of the border do not have developed public sewer systems (meanings when you poop then wipe you flush leaving the TP in the toilet) and are not used to wiping and flushing, they are used to wiping then throwing away - GROSS. Then I had a thought do not ever ever eat at this restaurant again also, if we can duplicate/translate everything here in California from English to Spanish why not spend a few shekel's more by posting on the inside bathroom stall door "wipe leave paper in toilet then flush… it is OK don't forget to wash your hands adios" in Spanish? This really has got to be a sanitary issue I don't care what your nationality is.

Wake up Americans

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 14:26:34 PST

What amazes me the most about our country, government and politicians is the fact that we forget its rich and diverse history. We neglect why our country was created. Those principles that was foreign to Europe and the rest of the world and the reason America was founded. Our politicians out of ignorance and greed have written amendments to our constitution of which was a nearly perfect document to find loop holes and bypass its statutes. Have you ever read the constitution and the bill of rights? Nearly perfectly crafted documents based on Judeo Christian beliefs. Not Islam, Hindu, Buddhism or others but, Judeo Christian beliefs. If it is that you have not read these two documents then it is a far fetched idea you have read the bible which would give you reason to better understand the founding of our nation. In this country you are free to practice your beliefs and ideas could you do that freely in other countries?

Why in the world would we want to simulate what the Europeans and the rest of the world do here in our country is beyond me. If they had a better way then why did our forefathers come to this country in the first place? Why do we allow others to come to this country and we let them influence our culture, laws, and beliefs with that of their own? Why would we allow foreigners to bring that filth into our country and why are we not upholding our principles; The core of this great nation?

If you do not like our constitution, our American way then you know where you can go! Go back to where you came from and take your country's flag because it doesn't belong here. This is complete BS in today's system; that we accommodate foreigners in a way that gives them special privileges; this was not how it was! You come to this country and earn your right, you enjoy our freedom but, you are governed by our laws and culture. You adopt our ways as much as possible, you follow our laws, you earn your own living, you respect its citizens and you show allegiance to our flag, you integrate into our society you learn our language-English. Our dumb-ass politicians and brainwashed public have let this all happen myself included.

Why? To allow this country to disintegrate, to burden its people with litigation and loop hole laws? To infringe on the rights and privacy of the Americans?, To force people to be politically correct? To rob the next generations of Americans for what? We allow the government to borrow money against itself without a supporting asset or the insurance of gold or silver? But, contradict that idea with the expectation that it's citizens will be above borrowing, spending more than they have etc… etc…? But, who are the ones who ultimately pay for the flagrant waste in government and governmental policy? the Tax paying citizens? We have gone on too long to thinking "well if it doesn't impact me or my circle or my life than I really don't care!"

This is exactly the reason our forefathers regardless of what country, nationality, origin or culture that they came from journeyed to the freedom land. The land of milk and honey as promised. Why on earth would we want to duplicate the ugly from these other nations in our land? Isn't that diversity and pursuit of freedom and liberty what they came for a better life? We need to stop the madness and give two shits about what is going on. Doesn't 911 mean EMERGENCY? Or do you not care? Have we diverted so far past the original intent of what America represents? Have we been lied to about the truth in our history books and so called academics? Is this acceptable for the next generations of Americans? what type of legacy have we left?

Wake up!

My dearest daughter,

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 14:27:25 PST

You are growing into a fine person and young lady. I'm always amazed at how you handle yourself. As your mom and I have watched you change from a little baby and now almost a young woman we feel so blessed that you are our child. After your brothers were born mom and I decided not to have any more children of course we did not insure this by medical procedure or prescriptions. We both were glad we didn't because we decided to have one more child. That was you. Everything was different with you. We were older, wiser and more patient. Your brothers almost had different parents. Your brothers though, went through the toughest of times with us. Contrasted with when you were born where our lives were a bit more stable.

You were a delight to your family and still are something pure and innocent that which god gave us. We know this because you learned to talk at an early age compared to others your age. At little over 2 years old one day you told mom and I that you had slept on Jesus chest. We were bewildered because how could such a young child especially under 3 years old come up with something like this? I would not even expect this from an older child. You had told us other little details and tidbits until you were almost 4 years old. At no prodding from your mom and I because we wanted it to be natural. Another time you told us that you picked us because you could see us and you knew you wanted us as parents. Some of this surprised us when you would tell us these things it just seemed so odd coming from such a young child. You would also tell us about talking with god and the details of sleeping on Jesus's chest. We never discounted any of it we always trusted it because we knew we were a blessed family and you were a gift despite some of the bumps we had. I will always remember you telling us you would never let us go you would hold on tight and never lets us go…I think I still don't comprehend what that really means.

You were always a happy little girl and very loving. You may not realize this but; your brothers were just as much responsible for spoiling you as mom and I. We always believed that you were special because you have always been very sensitive to items unseen. Meaning you could feel and experience what people would refer to as ghosts, spirits and evil. Odd things would happen to you some of it witnessed by your family. As you got older I think you have become less sensitive to these things but, we have always believed you because of god's blessing. I hope you never lose connection to god because I still think he has something planned for you.

Evil is at the doorstep everywhere and I do believe that there is a devil as well as God. Just because we cannot see these things does not mean they don't exist. I mean can we see air? Think about it…we can't but, we know it is there right? Anyway I do believe that evil is always trying to knock us off our path. Always trusts in him pray to him and try to live in his example. Do not be fooled by others and do not follow in there ways this is certain death.

You're at that age now when you are becoming more independent, mature and savvy to life. This is a "catch 22" for parents because we don't want you, our children to grow up but, then again we anticipate watching you grow up and develop into a mature adult. This pangs us down to the core as we know it is the natural outcome of life. Someday you will fall in love or have a career or both and raise your own family. The cycle of life… Everything grows lives then ceases to exist except in memories.

You have always shown an eagerness and assertiveness to life you also have your mom's outgoing nature. You have core strengths and the smarts to match. The other part of you is your honesty, openness and compassion for others. These are admirable traits and you have always been a sincere person even young. Realize that not everyone in the world will appreciate these characteristics not that it matters anyway.

I fear that life will change you though; I know I must trust that your mom and I taught you well. We know you will make mistakes and fall sometimes but, we must trust that you will make the right decisions. Decisions that you will be proud of, ones that do not disgrace you or your family and ones that you can live with. I have every bit of faith that you will have your own sets of challenges and I would encourage you to always remember where you came from; who you are, be as true to yourself as you possibly can. And, know that we love you more than you will ever know.

Pocket Change

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 19:05:16 PST

Have you ever been so hurt or angry with someone that it consumed you? That you had wild thoughts about retribution? Payback? You wanted to make that person have those same feelings as you? You think to yourself how could they do this to me? Why would they do this to me? We were so close…best friends. We did everything together we had fun, shared our most intimate secrets. Why would they do this to me? To us? It bothers you so much it consumes you over and over again you agonize over it to the pinnacle of madness.
2 Corinthians 2:5

Was there ever a time that you felt so frightened and lacked all self-confidence and feared that there was no way you could face a situation. You knew you could not cope no matter how hard you pushed yourself. Maybe you tried to ignore it or pretend that it would never occur. Maybe just maybe you pushed it out of your mind until the time actually would occur to sort of trick yourself. Except the whole time it was still in the back of your mind and you were secretly go through the situation in your mind over and over again to the point of near insanity?
Matthew 6:25-34

Some people seem to live in these two states of consciousness never able to escape these feelings. Some folks sporadically experience these feelings and never to learn and grow from them. Unfortunately it is very hard for people to be truthful with themselves let alone others. Some people live like this due to traumatic situations in their lives others it could be a part of their character. I suppose not everyone experiences these two feelings I could only guess there are the predators, the victim's and those who self-inflict this pain and perpetuate it.

In my opinion these are the two most careless and useless forms of self-destruction. If you can free yourself from these feelings you will be liberated. Doing this is very difficult and requires constant focus and commitment. These two feelings spawn other destructive behavior worse thoughts and actions. They compel us to do things we would not normally do. Love and forgiveness are tied together just as worry and self confidence are. Should any of us be able to balance our emotions and discipline our thoughts we would be that much farther ahead than we are now.

Truth and responsibility are the other two most important factors that could help us maintain our commitment to ourselves in balancing our emotions. Seems that most people have a hard time being honest and taking responsibility for their actions by facing the truth not only with themselves but, with others. The best person you could ever meet is yourself.
Galatians 5:22

If I ever figure out how to overcome these hurdles I will let you know I have an idea of where to look.

It starts with me

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 19:50:08 PST

Doesn't matter the situation or the environment I suppose whether at work, school, home or, other regardless thereof. We all sometimes become overwhelmed; parts of us acting differently while others of us act the same despite the situation. Our responses and reactions seem almost fluid in sorts as sometimes we go with the flow and some of us stand in the middle of the flow fighting upstream. Do we know better but refuse?
Revelation 21:8

It is odd how humans are isn't it? I often wondered by using myself as an example and reflecting back after a situation of my own actions and thoughts wondering what preceded that action. Sure I know not everyone has my history, life, and environment or will handle things how I do but, there is one thing I'm sure of is human nature. There are things despite how we stand firm we are all capable of and it is almost inherent for all of despite where we live or how old we are.

Some of us will say we have these high morals, ethics or beliefs and we have these laws enacted so there is no way we could do such and such. I would say that is B.S. that is why man has developed his own laws to counter those who claim to sit in such high standing because we all are capable of breaking those laws by our physical actions which begin with our thoughts and we have done this to be unaccountable to a spiritual law.
1 Corinthians 11:13-16

But, how do you protect against mental actions or thoughts that lead up to a physical action? Since these are usually at the root of those physical actions? Don't these thoughts manifest themselves into reality and a physical action? Let's say for instance you are hungry. In its simplest form you go to the cupboard, chicken coop, fridge, market, drive thru whatever and get something, then eat it. In each case you have worked for, purchased or, raised these items in advanced or during the time of acquisition. What if instead you did not purchase or raise the items? And were fulfilling a basic human need?

Wouldn't then it depend on the person? What guiding principles does that person follow? What are that person's morals, ethics and beliefs? The way the person was raised may have some influence too. What if that person is in an environment that is different than the one they were used to? What if that person did not have the same guiding principles, morals, and ethics as others did? Would it then require the law of the land? Would the law of the land prevail and eliminate the need for the guiding principles, morals and ethics in that case? What about spiritual laws. Aren't these things happening now in our country?

Now let's pretend there was this person whose child was killed by another person. We won't even try to trace the killers thought to keep this simple. So this parent has lost a child who was deeply loved and cared for.

This person now has a chunk of their insides tore out and the mind begins first questioning, why, I should have, why did xyz then soon after the guilt comes then anger. Anger turns into fear, remorse, then to hatred, hatred in to vengeance. What stops the physical activity of murder and the act of killing? Fear of being caught? Being locked up in prison, The lack of resources to pull it off? Morals, ethics, beliefs? What is the motivator either way?

I began to wonder how do you cope in an environment with so much diversity especially in America? Political correctness, personal responsibility, the constitution, gender neutral, the bill of rights, state laws, county laws, city laws, laws of nature, cultural diversity and beliefs, religious diversity and beliefs, work place ethics blah blah blah… Couldn't be simpler to follow the laws of the bible and live in the manner explained therein? I'm not talking about the/a churches laws, the/a denominations laws because all of that is man's b.s. not gods.
Romans 7:12

Later I reflected, what if a country all had the same religious beliefs…well we have seen how that has worked for the Arabs and Muslims in general who are intolerant of other beliefs and oppressed by their own governments. Then I thought what if a country had one political party? This seems to be working for China not so much for Russia nor other communist nations who oppress their people too.

I finally succumbed to my thoughts. There is no utopia on this planet and the best place aside from that is still America. I realized it starts with me to make sure my thoughts and actions are not frivolous meaningless and misguided but, focused on the things important to me and if it is important to me then it could be important to others and in the contrary what is important to me may not be to others as what is important to them may not to me and that is ok.

Romans 2:14

The greatest experiment

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 14:30:46 PST

There were these ancient beings supreme to any others that could ever be since they have always existed. There were only 25 of them. These beings created the cosmos as an experiment and many other things at will. Since they understood all things beyond any others they would know the outcome before any experiment could be completed. This gave them a complete perspective and understanding of all things in multiple dimensions.

To assist with the experiments they created helpers. They created these helpers to be powerful just enough to perform their duties but, never to surpass the power and authority of the least of the 25. These helpers were created to be forever. Due to the vastness and expanse of nothingness the 25 were quite busy. Soon they would need more than just a few helpers. Over time they had created millions upon millions of these helpers.

The beings knew that eventually some of the helpers would think they were as supreme as the 25. Since the supreme beings had given them great power. But, the beings remained patient because they already knew what the outcome would be for some of the helpers. Some of the 25 questioned whether they should elevate the status of the helpers. But, the leader of the 25 said that would not be wise because of the helper's character of greed, jealousy and self-righteousness in perspective of the 25's status.

The least of the 25 and student of the leader suggested in support that they test what the leader stated and prove to all the others and eliminate the question once and for all. There was good reason why the leader was the leader. The junior was the trusted student of the leader and the student would only strive to please the leader only. That remained first and foremost in the student's actions and thoughts always he knew the work the leader performed was very important.

The leader instructed that the student come up with a plan to show the leaders wisdom, patience and character. Soon the student had come up with a plan. He presented his plan to the leader and he went over the beginning of the plan and the end of the plan. He described every detail on how the experiment would go, to include the timeline. But, there was one hitch. The student suggested that they create a different and new helper at a little lower status of the first. The group of 25 thought how could that work? look what has happened with the helpers we have now as a third are revolting as we speak but, will never displace us.

The leader spoke as the others listened. I agree with the student he has submitted a wise and balanced plan but, my student will be completely responsible for these new helpers. Also, for these new helpers to become our helpers they must prove themselves worthy and committed to my ways and instruction. They must follow the plan and willfully want to become our new helpers otherwise they are no better to me than the first helpers who are now revolting.

The student came up with a fail-safe to protect against the previous results of the first helpers. The new helpers would be able to reproduce themselves, would have a fixed life span and not require intervention from the 25 to multiply. Also, these helpers would not exist forever unless they passed the test. This would likely eliminate the issues resulting from the previous helpers as these new helpers existence relied on themselves to follow the instructions and ways of the supreme beings otherwise they would fail to exist at all.

The Leader and other supreme beings agreed that this was a good plan and gave approval for the plan to be enacted. He instructed his student to create an instruction manual with all the necessary information for the new helpers explaining how to exist forever. He also gave him a list of 10 very important items that the new helpers would need to follow above all else. He then instructed that the student would have to be the ward of these new helpers and would need to make a home for them. As another measure of success the leader explained that the student would have to live at least one life time as a helper to truly understand its importance of the experiment. Should he prove successful then he would be able to sit at the right hand of the leader forever more.

When the first helpers heard that the supreme beings were going to allow the creation of another helper, some of them became angry and grumbled amongst themselves. How can they do this to us? we are greater than they! But, less than them! We are the deservers and heirs of the throne! At that a third of the first set of helpers took their grievances to the leader. He would not hear them and decided to up the stakes for the new set of helpers and sent the revolutionaries off to their home.

The revolutionaries now lived in the same home as the new helpers. Because the revolutionaries wanted to be supreme and were jealous of the new helpers they decided to do everything they could to prevent the new helpers from being successful. The revolutionaries elected one of themselves as the leader the one who spoke in their behalf to the leader of supreme beings. As the leader the disgruntled revolutionary forced all those that had came with him to succumb to his ways and instruction. He set himself up as the Supreme Being at the home of the second helpers although he would never win. The student knew this would happen and would visit the home of the new helpers to encourage, heal and instruct them he did this over many generations. He wanted all the new helpers to escape the grasps of the revolutionaries but, knew it would be difficult for his new helpers because they were weaker physically in comparison and more sensitive emotionally and would learn there bad ways easily. Though he also knew the new helpers had a greater capacity for learning and experiencing passions plus they belonged to him.

As another fail-safe the student placed the imprint of his being, the leader and the instruction manual inside the new helpers to carry with them as protection from the revolutionaries. Overtime with the influence of the revolutionaries many of the new helpers became just as corrupt as they. The student was sadden and thought that the plan had failed and just about scraped the whole project. He talked with the leader who he identified one of those as a good new helper. Both the leader and student believed in this helper and decided to spare him and his family's life as they would be the new beginning. At this the student washed his hands of the corrupt forevermore but, he knew more would follow later.

Thousands of years had passed and it was becoming close to the finish of the project. The student had collected some really good new helpers but, one of his final tasks was yet to be completed. He went to the new helper's home and lived as they though he had the word with him and knew all the instructions as he was who wrote them. The revolutionaries tried to change him and wanted him to stay and become the Supreme Being as a slap in the face to the leader and the 25 but, the student remained focused and steadfast to his word and work. While he lived as a new helper he also taught and healed some of the new helpers. He warned them that the project was nearly complete and soon there home and some of them would not exist after the project completed and that only a few would pass the strict requirements to exist forever. He also told them he loved them very much and wish they all would follow in his ways.
MATTHEW 7:7-11)

You are our future

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 10:37:37 PDT

One look at you and all the unpleasant in the world goes away for a moment. I rejoice in your life with a sense of new beginning. The possibilities… I feel rejuvenated with hope and inspiration that something will be different. A bit better…what your life will be… A better future bright with promises and love... My generation did not make it better we just clouded things more by making life faster and riskier. I'm sorry we did not change this…We have left a huge debt for you out of a hope of a better future. Ironic isn't it…your future saddled with ours?

My darling little baby forgive my pessimism embrace my optimism…Grandpa is jaded unfortunately… He doesn't trust that the leaders of this country nor any other will do right by you why should they, they didn't by me nor by my grandparents. I'm sorry… We have all allowed this, now I presume it is too late.

Here is what I can tell you; Trust always love, trust always god, trust always your parents that is where the love begins. Forget material things, career, the price of milk it is meaningless in the grand scope of things these are meaningless. Stand by your convictions and accept the consequences, whatever they may be. Know this… you were conceived from love and welcomed with love. That is what is important only and always. Trust Jesus and do as he commanded us; to love one another. Ignore others who chastise these beliefs and pray for them from the heart.

We tried but, trusted in our technology and science to improve our lives, we trusted the system, and we trusted our leaders… they all have failed… we have failed. We have simply refused to acknowledge the truth. We wanted to change the world. We didn't though... We thought we could fix things with our laws, our systems, our ways, our technology, and our other fixes to no avail. We are further separating ourselves from our god…to our own demise.

The promise land America is no more. I'm sorry we have failed why should I lie to you? I wish we hadn't lied to ourselves. God alone brings peace not man. Man never can he hasn't yet never will either. Do not listen to the intellectuals, progressives, the scientists, the "in" crowd those who refuse to believe. They are in denial and fool themselves only don't be like them…be patient though. They have no truth in them. That is sad. They are lost and always will be… They will attack your belief, your morals, your ways what your parents taught you. Trust that… But, they will never win. A closed mind is an ignorant mind…A mind of intolerance and disbelief...
ISAIAH 47:13-14

You are our legacy do not lose the faith. Do not lose love; do not lose your ideals. If this is taken away you will lose yourself. Don't let it happen to you. I'm sorry for this reality…but, grandpa has always been a little opinionated and idealistic. But, he loves you more than you will ever know. You are our future…my sweet little baby.

Holder of the key

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 14:32:40 PST

I know this person who every Monday has a meltdown this person completely over reacts despite how trivial something may seem. Sometimes I make fun of it, other times I become angry, most of the time I try to ignore it and not obsess over it. This is always at the start of the week then there are more spread out throughout the week. It just completely amazes me at the mentality and knee jerk reactions of this person.

I wonder if this is something inherited, acquired through necessity, part of this persons character or, this person is just plain unhappy. According to this person everyone is lazy, dumb and doesn't work hard enough. This person also thinks that they are the hardest worker and has the best work ethics. But, I would ask at what cost? Is it really worth it? I have observed this persons work culture and have noticed that this person is a micro-manager; doesn't like anyone else, no one can do it well enough or, they are too ignorant to do the job. Funny thing this person has worked themselves into a corner, put their self into a cage. The sad part is they don't even realize it.

This person's personal expectations and character are sometimes irrational, miss-founded and abusive. Funny thing is this person has no idea about their actions and how it is perceived and doesn't care. Nor is someone you can talk to since this person is so hard it would be unacceptable in their eyes. This person has placed chains around their own neck and thinks that the cause is more important than god, family and self. I don't know maybe that is what it takes. Personally I stick to the adage work smart and only hard when you need to. Seems there could be a better approach in my opinion. I have never heard this person say anything nice about anyone except one of their pets.

What is sad to me is that this person performs menial tasks because of trust which amazes me considering their position. This person uses "get the dirt" on that person approach too; Also this person comes at others with fang and claws always showing. But, cannot realize this approach is failed at best and outdated. One of the most favorite games this person likes to play is beat the shit out of the dead horse then kick it a few times then beat that some bitch some more. I just cannot believe this sometimes because it is so irrational and vicious plus, it is unfounded and inappropriate.

It appears as though at one time this person found that threats and provoking others is the only method to motivate others and never learned nor accepted any other approach. When someone takes the offensive all the time it is hard for others to cooperate with the little game. It becomes senseless and demoralizing and almost pitiful to witness. This person appears to have been hurt one time or another so consequently always acts cold hearted and detached and will not show any other side than the mean one. That is sad because relationships are how people cope and also the glue that holds them together.

I have to feel sorry for someone like this because they have boxed themselves into a situation they can't escape, they have created an unhealthy unsustainable persona that provokes others and demoralizes some. Funny thing is this person thinks they are doing what is right and will go to the grave thinking this is right. And who am I to think what is right for anyone unless it impacts me? This person is also being taken advantage of and is so used to it that it seems normal to them. Of course this person will complain, bitch and moan too but, I have to say if you are unhappy do something, if you don't like yourself then try to change, if your environment is killing you then by all means make it stop, stop the madness.

I have learned a great deal from this person which I find invaluable but, I have also learned how not to perpetuate this persons madness no one should be that miserable not no one. If I had a magic wand I would make all that persons hurt go away and do anything to improve their lives if I could. But, sometimes people become so hard they know nothing else and nothing can move them from their position….how unfortunate.

I try to envision this person as a small helpless baby who only wants love. This helps me from going postal on this person I have to realize though it is not me. Sometimes although very few I have seen a twinkle of humanity and hope in this persons eyes unfortunately, it is for a fleeting moment that rarely returns.I try to envision this person as a small helpless baby who only wants love. This helps me from going postal on this person I have to realize though it is not me. Sometimes although very few I have seen a twinkle of humanity and hope in this persons eyes unfortunately, it is for a fleeting moment that rarely returns. What is sad is how calloused this person is, all I can do is pray for this person and hope that they can escape from the bonds of their chains by realizing they are the holder of the key.

Water. Where does it go?

noreply@blogger.com (Joe American) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 19:50:30 PST

I was thinking the other day about the importance of water and how it is used in our daily lives. As I began to ponder some perceived published truths I tried to rationalize this idea.

When I think about water rationing and the like I tend to wonder how much truth there is in shortages and what not. I suppose most of it is geographical and would depend on environmental factors to some extent.

But, the overall concept of water shortages is almost ironic to me. We live in a sealed bubble so how could we use up water? It has to go somewhere right? Considering the hydro-logic cycle would mean in effect that at any one point in time water could be in one of those potential states and not really gone but, possibly redistributed right?

I understand that there are some places that have to rely on ground water wells, rain, rivers, lakes, snow or glacier melt off but, it never really disappears. It evaporates to become part of the atmosphere or goes into the soil to collect. Sure if you needed technology to get the water to a spot that did not normally receive rain or have local fresh water source. I could understand how if not managed appropriately you could face a shortage based on those circumstances.

To me it seems that we have been brainwashed into thinking of water as if it was like gasoline. Unlike water gasoline is more or less like eating food. It is something that produces energy and once it is expended the byproduct is just a bunch of crap. As we have been told oil is the byproduct of thousands and millions of years of animal and plant life under pressure buried under ground and the product of decomposition. In other words a waste product or in our case a giant battery with energy stored in it that is somewhat easy to extract the energy from.

Water is like the wind there is abundance and it will never end until the earth does or the cycle becomes disrupted by our actions. It is a miraculous substance that quenches thirst and facilitates life and makes up the majority of the earths surface. I do not discount its potential power nor other uses but, more the subject of its pollution, the cost to move water from one location to the other or the fact that it disappears somehow after use. Water is a very important resource but, the fact remains it is being polluted and redistributed by humans through infrastructure to deliver it to the kitchen rather that than it being consumed and no longer available.

I read somewhere that plants evaporate around 60 to 70% of their uptake of water so you might argue well they used the rest of the water. I would ask on what? Could it be that the water is contained within the cells of the plant or animal? Don't we use dehydration to remove water from things? When that plant or being dies wouldn't through the process of decomposition in effect be similar to dehydration as part of that process?

Nothing really disappears it just morphs into another state… well except for the resources we have used to create satellites and spacecraft to shoot into outer space which these items are no longer contained within this bubble we call earth.

I suppose I could be full of crap though.