And So I Blogged...

Let iPod Touch Help You Educate Your Toddlers

2010-04-16T05:01:00.000+08:00

I love music. I love watching videos on YouTube. I love games. I love keeping in touch with my friends be it through IM, email or Facebook. I love surfing the internet. So, can you imagine just how pleased I was when the iPod Touch was released?

The iPod Touch allows you to do all these and more. Its amazing technology lets you listen to your favorite music anytime, with a playlist that’s just perfect for your mood.

And, with its built-in Wi-Fi, the iPod Touch allows you to surf the internet. You will never have to miss out on your favorite stuff on the web whenever you’re on the go. It has applications made especially for your favorite networking sites such as Facebook, as well as applications for your favorite IM like Yahoo messenger. It’s practically your pocket computer.

Plus, with all the many gaming applications available for you to choose from and to download from the iTunes Store, you will never get bored ever again. The iPod Touch lets you experience gaming like never before. You can tilt, tap and turn your game around. Whether you’re gaming solo or with an opponent, you are sure to have an immersive gameplay.

But the best thing about the iPod Touch is that, it helps me to educate my 2-year-old son, Enzo. With the many educational applications available on iTunes for download, I was able to teach him to read numbers, letters and recognize objects and sounds.

Not to mention the many times when I was able to stop him from throwing tantrums by simply playing his favorite videos or letting him listen to his favorite nursery rhymes or letting him play with his favorite games. The iPod Touch is definitely a great companion for long trips especially with a toddler.

The iPod Touch is: a great iPod; a great pocket computer; a great portable game player.

I call it: a dream come true!

My Food Diaries: The Sandwich Guy

2010-04-16T03:49:00.002+08:00

Ricky just knows how to please me. Well, aside from the one you first had in mind upon reading my first line (*wink*wink*), he knows very well that food is my weakness. That is why he continues to discover new restaurants and food shops around the metro and treats me for a sumptuous meal.

I've been recently craving on sandwiches. So I was really pleased to have gotten an uberly delish sandwich last night from his newly discovered sandwich shop. It's called The Sandwich Guy. He wasn't sure just how long the store already existed along Emerald Avenue in Ortigas, but he found out about it just this week. And boy, I’m glad he did!

He brought me TSG Big Time sandwich. The huge toasted wheat bread alone was a stand out. It has roast beef and other cold cuts, loads of lettuce, mayo, tomatoes, etc. I am not sure what the other ingredients were but everything was just perfectly placed together. I super enjoyed it -- big time!

Tonight, I had the TSG Chicken Marsala. It, too, was superbly delish. A very healthy snack, I must add.

We used to call 8-7000 or 8-McDO in the middle of the night, the time when we are usually strangely hungry. We would often munch on burgers, fries and spag. But now, we have a better choice… The Sandwich Guy!

I just hope they will do deliveries in our area ASAP because for now, they only deliver within their branch areas. Sad.

Can’t wait for tomorrow night when hubby will bring me another kind of TSG!

What Makes A Good Doctor?

2008-09-14T01:53:00.015+08:00

What makes a good doctor... specifically, a good pediatrician? Is it the way she treats her patients? Is it the friendship that she builds with her patients' parents as well as their other family members? Is it the way she guides you on how to take care of your child during their "sick times"? Is it the many free medicine samples she gives you every time you come to her for your child's check-up? Is it about the discount she gives you from her PF?

Honestly, I don't really know! I don't even have the slightest idea. I just had my first baby and ever since I gave birth to my son, Enzo, Dra. Cynthia Padilla was the only pediatrician who took care of him. I never really met a pediatrician before her. Of course, there are the other residents at the Cardinal Santos Medical Santos who looked after my Enzo when he was hospitalized. I also cannot forget to mention Dra. Kitty Gayo, Dra. Padilla's associate, who also checks on Enzo if and when Dr. Padilla is not available, and who, by the way, is also a very, very good pediatrician. But generally, it was Dra. Padilla who technically "guided" me and my husband in taking care of Enzo so we really owe her a lot, so to speak.

Yesterday, Enzo was scheduled to see his Endocrinologist, Dra. Ludivina Garces, for his monthly monitoring of his TSH and FT4 levels. While we were in Dra. Garces' clinic, she mentioned that Dra. Padilla was scheduled to leave for the US... for good! I felt panic, worry, and most of all, sadness all at the same time. I wondered why she had to go. Luckily, Enzo had an appointment with Dra. Padilla on the very same day. I can't wait for us to get to her clinic to confirm the sad news.

When we arrived at her clinic at the Cardinal Santos Medical Center, I immediately asked Marivic, Dr. Padilla's very friendly and "very fashionista" secretary, if the news is true. Deep inside, I was hoping she'd say that, "No, she's not leaving for good. She will just be on a vacation". But instead, she asked me where I got the news and told me to just talk to Dra. Padilla about it.

Since it was a Saturday, the line in Dra. Padilla's clinic was like trying to see a blockbuster movie. It took us like 2 & 1/2 to 3 hours until we got our turn to see her. And during those long hours of waiting, I felt restless. I wanted to see her at once but I had no choice but to wait for our turn. And so after finishing "Tarzan" and half of "Peter Pan", we finally had our turn to see her. I asked her at once about the news... and so it really was confirmed. Their "green card" was approved so she & her husband, Dr. Sito Padilla, had to go. This time, I really felt like crying already. But I had to stop myself kasi nakakahiya naman to pour out in front of her and Mennen and also my husband. But I really, really felt like crying na talaga.

Instead, after she finished checking on Enzo, I just asked if we could have our picture taken with her for a souvenir. I've been meaning to ask her way before pa for my scrapbook but I always forget to do so. And so we did have our first, and hopefully not the last, picture taken with her. And when it was time to leave her clinic, I felt a lump in my throat again and this time, my eyes were watery na. I wanted to give her a hug while thanking her but I couldn't even look at her kasi I knew my tears will start to fall already (in fact, as I am writing this, I feel like crying again). So we just bid her goodbye and wished her the best of luck.

This out pour of sadness made me wonder: why do I feel this way for my son's pediatrician? She's not rendering her services to us for free, anyways, so why get so emotional about her leaving? The answer: she's sincerely concerned with our dear Enzo. She helped us save our son's life. Our Enzo did not course through a normal life especially in his first year but with her help and concern, we managed to get Enzo out of danger. I know other doctors would have done the same thing for our son for it is their duty to save lives but she was the doctor we were blessed with and so we will be forever thankful to her.

So to you, Dra. Padilla, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you very, very much! From the time we met you, we knew our son was in good hands and you proved that to us. Looking at our son now, we knew we wouldn't have gotten him in his better condition right now without you. You are such a wonderful doctor and you always have a way to make us feel assured that everything will be okay even at times when our Enzo couldn't seem to recover from his poor health. You will surely be missed. I'm sure we are not the only parents who are feeling this way about your leaving. We hope that you will find it in your heart to come back here in the Philippines (soon) and stay for good.

So what makes a good doctor? For me, it's all about Dra. Cynthia Padilla... : )

The Reunion...

2008-06-28T19:44:00.008+08:00

Wow! It's been a while since I last posted a blog and I totally missed it! I've been pretty occupied with uploading my gazillion collection of pictures on shutterfly.com (http://www.prettycielo.shutterfly.com/ and http://www.prettycieloandfriends.shutterfly.com/) and I was really into it for the past few weeks. Still, I haven't finished uploading all of my treasured photos. Blame it on the digital camera technology. Taking photos now is like talking on the phone. ; )

Anyways, today was quite a surreal experience. After so many, many, many years, I've come to see my relatives again... from my mom's side. Well, only some of them because most of my cousins and aunts and uncles now live and work abroad.

My cousin Mia and her family went home for a vacation from Canada. She thought of meeting all her relatives and I must say, her idea was good. So she set a birthday party for her son Ian/family reunion in Jollibee Greenmeadows at 1PM today.
Me and my siblings never really had contact from them (mommy's side) for so many years now for reasons that are not-so personal to list (because our life story is quite an open book to everyone) but too many to mention. In short, several not-so-fortunate circumstances made us stray away from each other!
But despite everything that has happened over the years, I realized that, somehow, I missed my relatives, too. And it disheartens me that we (my siblings and I) never really had a chance to be close with my mommy's side. When I was on my way to the venue, I was expecting some awkward moments to take place during the occasion. But surprisingly, it was a warm gathering. No hang-ups, no dramas, no nothing! Just a fun and wacky get-together.
I hope that this is a start of a renewed relationship with our mommy's side relatives... = D

Ngarag!

2008-05-09T09:13:00.008+08:00

Kakatapos lang busy April, 1st few days pa lang ng May, a lot of things happened already!

Enzo was just recovering from his asthma when my Ricky got sick naman...

5th of May, Monday. It was just a regular Monday morning for my hubby. He got up, showered, dressed up then drove his way to work. A few hours later, about 11AM, he called me and told me that he'll be home earlier than usual. Around 8PM daw. He usually comes home kasi mga 12 or 1 AM na. I was just planning pa lang what to cook for dinner for him when someone rang the doorbell. It was Ricky na pala. It was just 2PM. He looked so sick. As in he's maputla but his eyes were kind'da red and he looked so tired. He was complaining of having a hard time urinating and feeling chills. I touched his forehead and he has fever pala. I took his temp and it was a whooping 40 degrees! Talk about hot!

I immediately called Ate Ruby and asked her to take care of Enzo for a while. When she arrived, I rushed Ricky to the hospital na. At the ER of CSMC, they immediately took his BP, his temp and took blood and urine samples from him. They also put IV on him na. After two and a half long hours of waiting in the ER, the doctor told us that he needs to be confined ASAP because he has UTI and that high levels of bacteria were found in his blood! That being said, they immediately bombarded Ricky with high doses of antibiotics.

We later on found out that the bacteria on his blood reached 24,000 or so and according to Dr. Carreon, it was way beyond normal so high doses of antibiotics were again given to him. His fever should not go up again because if it does, he will have to stay longer in the hospital. Buti na lang his fever didn't come back na. And so he was released na rin on the 8th.

Ay, grabe! Nakaka-ngarag ang mga ganitong events! Sana wag na maulit kasi ang hirap... hirap humanap ng temporary yaya for Enzo; hirap mag-alala; ang HIRAP SA BULSA!!! Buti na lang my sis Dione was kind enough to take care of my Enzo the whole day nung Tuesday so I was able to spend time with my hubby in the hospital. Then nung Wednesday naman, Enzo was scheduled for check-up so we were able to stop by and on Thursday, Ricky was back to normal na so he settled everything at the hospital by himself. We just waited for him na lang at home.

I was really happy to see Ricky home but I guess Enzo was much happier. He kept on playing with his Dad the whole day. As in halos hindi sya sumama sa akin. Then he cries when his Dad would go out of the room, which he normally does not do. Ang cute! Siguro Enzo knew that his Dad was not around for a few nights.

Hay... life is really full of surprises!

The Fast and The Furious APRIL 2008...

2008-04-29T19:51:00.008+08:00

Awww... April is now over! Time literally flies so fast! In just 30 days, a lot of things happened already...

On the 5th, our youngest bro, Mark, graduated from college... finally!

Then, during the last week of last month, my brother, Patrick, and his then girlfriend, Nikole, were asking me on the how-abouts in going to Hong Kong Disneyland. But due to lack of time in preparation, they ended up going to Palawan. They stayed there for like 3 days or so, during the 1st week of April.

After their trip, I was just nagging Nikole in coming with us to see a new movie this end of April. She said she can't because she is scheduled to leave for Ireland on the 30th of April. Sad! Because she won't be around for the next 6 months or so.

And then during my son Enzo's 7th month birthday celebration on April 18, the lovebirds, Nikole and Patrick, were asking me questions as about getting married. Made me wonder... Ho-hum...

A few days later, April 19, to be exact, Patrick and Nikole was literally forcing us to go to my sister Dione's house for dinner. I kind'da knew what it was all about but refused to give in to their request because my husband and I were having a blast at my bestest friend Aya's house celebrating the baptism of their first-born, Janus, and the birthday of her loving hubby, Vhic.

But of course, we gave in to their request. I knew what it was all about. And yeah, she is pregnant. Yahoo! She's 2 months preggy at that time. Ang saya kasi I know my bro was waiting for it to happen. And so we all rushed to help them get married. And so they did! They wed at the QC Hall on the 25th of April. It was a very simple civil wedding but it was all fun!

And of course, my baby wouldn't let them steal the limelight from him. He had asthma the day after so we rushed him to the CSMC, as always. Thank God it wasn't that bad because home medication was ok.

I've been complaining how idle my life has become since I got pregnant and until now, but, come to think of it, it is not! My daily routine seems to be predictable but sometimes, it just could be so perplexing!

Answer This!

2008-04-18T00:14:00.006+08:00

One fine, sunny, lazy, afternoon, my niece, Nadine, asked my Dad:

"Lolo, Jesus Christ is the son of Almighty God, right?"

My Dad answered, "Yes, He is. Why do you ask?"

Nadine replied, "Then who is the wife of Almighty God?"

My Dad was caught off-guard. He didn't know how to answer the question from a seven-year-old-girl... the question that my Dad, himself (and even I), doesn't know the answer to!

So my Dad just told Nadine that he really does not know the answer to her question. Good thing Nadine didn't have a follow-up question on that.

How about you, how would answer her question? Tell me... ; p

I Still Love My Ex-Boyfriend...

2008-04-16T14:11:00.020+08:00

I just got an e-mail from my Tita Louie from Hong Kong. It's an article from Bo Sanchez. It's interesting. An article detailing on how you can make your marriage work.

Bo Sanchez discussed how he and his wife was able to make their marriage work. He said it's not a thing you should wish for, you have to DECIDE on making things work!

And it hit me. It made sense because when you wish for something, be it a successful marriage, being rich or slimming down, you tend not to do so much about it. It seems that you just wait for it to happen. But when you DECIDE on making it work, you will do all you can to make it happen.

My husband (who is my ex-boyfriend) and I have been married for five (5) years now. I know it's too early to write about it but, hey, five years is five years. Today's generation seems to find it easy to get in and out of marriage. And besides, we've been boyfriends for six (6) years before we got married so that makes eleven (11) years of constant togetherness. Such a long time, I must say!

But anyhoo, after reading the article, I gave a long thought of how things are between us now. Yeah, we see each other everyday. We talk. We eat together. We do stuff together and all, but, are we really ok?

You see, my husband is kind'da frigid. Sometimes, I feel like he is ignoring me, like he doesn't care. Even when he was still my boyfriend (and up until now), we would often argue about it. He is not as spontaneous as he should be. Sometimes, I feel like he would prefer sleeping than talking to me. And that really infuriates me!

I, on the other hand, always find fault at everything. I would question him for not being spontaneous, for not talking to me, for not keeping the room clean, etc., etc., etc.! I will walk out on him when I am mad and ignore him completely. I am always at rage.

But with all these differences, how do we make things work? I guess it's an unconscious effort for us. We have accepted and loved each other that we DECIDED to make things work, even without telling each other to do so. It's a mutual thing, I must say. We exert efforts in making things work...

We still go out on dates. We make it a point to spend time alone together. A movie, a dinner, an ice cream, an arcade, an out-of-town trip... whatever! Just as long as we go out and have fun together. Though for now we can't afford to be alone together because of Enzo, we still go out and date but this time, it's a triple date!

We still hold hands. While walking, lining up at the grocery's cashier or simply sitting down on our couch, we still hold each other's hands as much as we can. It has always been our way of communicating without words.

We still talk. One will talk, one will listen. No yelling. Whether or not we are fighting, that's how it is for us. We try to communicate as effectively as possible to avoid conflicts. We discuss practically almost everything. And we try not to humiliate each at all times, especially in front of other people.

We still say "I Love You"... and mean it! It's a normal thing for us. We say I Love You to each other at all times... verbally, through phone conversations, through text messages, through e-mail, through IM, before going to bed, when waking up, before leaving the house and back. We tell it to each other as often as we can (and we will make sure Enzo will be so used to saying it, too, and meaning it, of course).

We still kiss. We still embrace. Apart from fornicating (which is now quite seldom because of Enzo. hehehe...), we still give each other quick kisses and quick hugs just about anywhere... mall, park, car, cinema. No, we don't do P.D.A. (public display of affection) but it's just in us. It's also our other way of communicating without words.

With all the aforementioned, you may think our marriage is just perfect. NO! It's way too far from being perfect. We still argue, we still get upset at each other, we still sometimes hurt each other with hurtful remarks. But we work hard everyday on keeping our marriage strong. Giving up on each other is not an option.

But of course, it's not just us. We pray. We give thanks. We ask for strength. We ask for acceptance. We ask for peace of mind. And when we do pray, we realize that all the sugar and spices in our daily life helps make us firm in our DECISION...

Ang INIT!!!

2008-04-11T01:20:00.015+08:00

Argh! Ang Iniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!

Grabe ang weather lately. It's excruciatingly HOT! Hassle lumabas, ang sakit sa balat!

Bakit nga ba super mainit lately? Every year na lang, the weather gets worse. Effects ba ito ng Global Warming?!?!? Kaso mo, 'di ako masyadong knowledgeable sa Global Warming achuchuchu na yan! Ang alam ko lang, sobrang mainit ang weather lately at hindi ko sya ma-take!

This is the time that I wish we were in Baguio! At least there, parang wala lang ang summer. Slightly mainit din doon, yes, pero not this humid! I think my Enzo would love the weather there. Sensitive siya sa init ng sun eh. Maarte din parang ang Mommy niya. Wehehehe...

But maarte or not, super mainit talaga. I think everybody will agree with me naman, 'di ba?

Pero this is the best time naman for you to really appreciate halo-halo, ice cream, popsicles, ice candy, "ice tubig", mais con yelo, saging con yelo, yelo con yelo, at lahat-lahat ng may yelo! Thirst quencher talaga lalo na yung ice-cold water! Hay... ginhawa!

Masarap din naman mag-swimming at mag relax-relax sa pool or sa sea. Pero syempre masarap lang dun sa resort na walang masyadong people. Magulo kasi pag madaming tao, 'di ka rin mare-relax.

But still, I love summer naman. I can't wait nga for the next summer kasi that wil be the first time na we will bring Enzo out for a swim. First family outing, ba. I'm sure ang saya nun! = D

Goodbye, BRACES!

2008-04-08T00:24:00.019+08:00

This morning, I went to my dentist, Dra. Leonora Catchuela. She removed my upper braces already & replaced it with "invisible retainers" . Then she extracted my last ugly tooth. Ouch!

When I got home, of course I hugged & kissed Enzo at once. I missed him after three (3) long hours of being away from him. (Talk about O.A. to the maximum level!)

When I smiled at Enzo, you should have seen the funny expression on his face! He was staring at me for one (1) full minute. It seemed that he knew something was gone from my face. His eyes were so wide and his mouth was rounded as if he wanted to ask me a question or something. He was so, so funny!

When he recovered from the "shock", he touched my mouth & he tried putting his finger in my mouth. Probably trying to feel the brackets that he always wanted to play with. He really amazes me. Just so adorable!

Next week, I'll see my cute dentist again to have my lower braces removed & have it replaced by "invisible retainers" also. Finally, I will be completely braces-free after three (3) jaw-aching years! Yahoo!

I'm gonna miss my braces...

Not!

Hehehe... ; p

One Team, One Summer!

2008-04-05T16:02:00.016+08:00

Nope, I am not from ABS-CBN. I just borrowed their station theme this summer... just for this blog.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

One Team.
I have just been giving thoughts about summer lately. Summer used to be a very busy time for me and my friends. A few years ago, about this time, me and my kaartehan buddies would be very busy preparing for our annual summer getaway. No mall will be left unsearched just so we can be sure that we have everything we need for our trip. It's actually more like of a "support group" for us. A Team Work. We help each other find what each other needs to make things a little easier for everyone. It's a major event for us. Shallow? I don't know. I don't think so. But what I know is that we are having fun. And that is the most important thing for us.

One Summer.

Just like any event, summer getaway is worth preparing for.

The sun.

The sea.

The sand.

The breeze.

Ah, heaven...

But for this year, this is one summer I'll never forget. No summer outing for me. Summer outing this year would mean regular trips to Enzo's doctor. Enzo's skin is too sensitive for the blazing sun. He'll get rashes all over his face if exposed to the sun for a long time.

What to do? Go to the mall. At least there it's cold and Enzo would feel comfortable there.

Hay... motherhood! It truly is a sweet sacrifice!

Hopefully by next sumer, my Enzo will be perfectly ok. Ok to go to BORA!

The Toy Story

2008-04-05T00:47:00.007+08:00

Toys. Why are they so much fun?

My Enzo has a hell lot of toys in his nursery. Stuffed animals, Ferrari toy cars, phonics radio, big trucks, squeaking toys, rubber duckies, etc. But among his toys, I especially like the ones that make cute little sounds and those that light up when its buttons are pressed. It never fails to make me smile.

I don't know but everytime I look at them, I seem to be enjoying them so much. In fact, I think I enjoy them more than my son does. Even at the toy stores in the malls, I always, always have the urge to press the buttons of the toys on display. Funny, isn't it? I guess it's probably because I never had such toys when I was young(er). Hek... hek...

Somehow I understand why kids go crazy over toys. They are fun. Big or small, expensive or not, toys will be toys. Love them! Good thing I now have Enzo. I can always play with him and have a good excuse to play with his toys. Care to join? ; p

Motherhood Becomes Me

2008-04-03T20:11:00.015+08:00

Hmmm... a blog... hmmmm... where to start? Hmmm...

I've been meaning to create my very 1st serious blog a long, long time ago. I just don't know what I should write about. I have been blogging, yes, but mostly it contains lyrics of the songs that I am able to relate to at the moment. Senseless!

I have always liked writing. I always put my thoughts in a diary, be it simple or grand. Blogging hasn't been my thing until I came across Brian Gorrell's blog and placed some comments on it (I'm sure you've heard of it)! It inspired me. I believe it's therapeutic. And since I am mostly online (and mostly idle), why not put my thoughts in a blog? Now that I have something to write about...

MOTHERHOOD. Strong word. Never really knew what it meant until I became one myself. Cliche? Yeah. But it really did change me. If you are a mom, I know you can relate with me. But I'm sure not all moms will. Who cares? I am just writing about it for my own, personal pleasure, and for those who might be going through the same experience as I am so, here goes...

I used to live my life thinking about: What to wear. What and where to eat for lunch. Work. What to buy for my bi-monthly salary. Paying the bills. Which movie to watch. Where to go for summer. Which bar to go to. Etc. Etc. Etc. Selfish, selfish lifestyle, I must say, but hey, you can't blame me. I'm a working girl. I ought to enjoy my life.

I thought getting married would eventually slow me down with the hustles and bustles of my so-called lifestyle. It slowed me down yes, but only a bit. After years of trying and failing to conceive (I have polycystic ovaries), I guess my lifestyle has become my comfort zone. My husband moving to Baguio has made it worse. We only see each other every other weekend or less. I acted like I was single again. Gimmicks here and there. Shopping here and there. Going everywhere! Geez, I was in a warp zone!

But I guess God really has a way of making things work for the better. He eventually prepared me for the "real" family life. Suddenly it was so easy for me to give up my job and my then precious lifestyle and move to Baguio with my husband. And the the day after my beloved Mommy Nitz (my mom-in-law) died , we found out I was more than 3 months pregnant! Talk about miracles! The feeling was half-happy, half-sad. My Mommy Nitz would have lived a bit longer if she knew I was pregnant because this would have been her first grandchild. But I guess she knew it all along. She just couldn't tell me because she was already fighting for her life then.

So, to make a long story short, after 4 long years of waiting, I finally gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on the 18th September 2007, Tuesday, 05:11AM via CS at the Cardinal Santos Medical Center (CSMC) in San Juan. Our dear Lorenzo Victor has finally arrived! Enzo, as we fondly call him, was 5 lbs. & 15 oz. Babies truly are a miracle! Despite all the pregnancy and labor pains, seeing my baby and hearing him cry for the very first time took all the pains away in an instant! What a joy!

But while I was inside the recovery room, instead of resting until I was brought to my hospital room, I was restless. I knew something was wrong. I knew I had to see my son at once! So 10:00AM came and they finally brought me to my room. I immediately asked my husband how our baby was. He said he was doing good. But I knew it was a lie. I just felt it. I felt it in every inch on my nerve. Mother's instinct. That's what it is. I knew there really was something wrong. I had to find out soon!

Just about then my dad and my sister got into my room from the nursery and asked why Enzo had an IV and oxygen on him. I was right! There was something wrong with my Enzo! I broke into tears and worried so much. I never felt that kind of worrying in my life. I always took things easy. Or should I say, I have always been the happy-go-lucky one that nothing ever worries me.

2:00PM seems to be taking forever to arrive for that was the time that the pediatrician assigned to my Enzo, Dr. Cynthia Padilla, would come and see us. I desperately needed to see her and talk to her at once. I wanted to know how my son was. So when she finally arrived, she told us what's wrong with our baby. That's when we found out that he has pneumonia, and worse, he has cleft palate / pierre robin syndrome, which was making his breathing difficult for him. He also had a hard time feeding. I was devastated. Things went running in my mind. My thoughts were cramming. What's worse is that they might even do tracheostomy on him if his breathing would not improve. But luckily he did not have to go through it. He did well with the ordinary oxygen.

I had too many emotions then. One emotion over another. But one thing's for sure, I feared for my son's life. I had no freaking idea how to deal with all his complications. I just wanted him to be healthy and safe. I want to hold him and make him feel that everything will be just fine... that mommy loves him and will take care of him.

So the next day when I was advised by my OB-Gyne, Dr. Greg Pastorfide, that I can start walking, I literally ran to the nursery ICU station to see my son. My heart melted when I saw him in his incubator. He was too tiny, too fragile. At first I was even scared to hold him because it seemed like I might hurt him. But then he looked at me as if he was saying: "Mom, don't be scared. I'll be okay..." It made me cry. I let my heart out. I did not care about the nurses and the doctors around me. I was sad. I was afraid. I was angry. I was helpless. I was overwhelmed with different emotions and different thoughts at that time. I just couldn't exactly tell how I felt at that moment. One thing was clear on my mind though, I had to be strong for my son. He needs me.

A week after giving birth, I had the go-signal from my OB-Gyne to go home. It was the hardest and saddest part... leaving my son in the NICU because he was still not fit to come home with me. He still had jaundice and pneumonia and he still cannot breathe well without the oxygen and he was having a difficult time feeding because of his cleft palate / pierre robin syndrome that's why he was not gaining weight. An ounce of milk will take him forever to finish. It was so, so sad. My heart was crushed. I just could not take the sadness anymore. It felt like he will be taken away from me anytime. It was so, so sad. Just plain, pure sadness. So even if I had just given birth, I had to see him in the hospital twice a day. I just can't stay at home and think about him. I had to see him. I had to hold him. I wanted him to feel that I was just right there for him... loving him and taking care of him. I have to be with him.

God truly works in miraculous ways. He has a way of making you feel better in the midst of all the pains and worries. He really does make things better for you. After two long weeks (3 days before my 31st birthday), we were able to bring our dear Enzo home! I never felt better. I never felt complete. He was the missing piece not just in my and my husband's life but in lives of my families most especially my in-laws. He was the replacement for his Lola Nitz.

He eventually got better as the days pass since he got home. But then, another sad news came. The results of his New Born Screening just got out. He was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism! I cannot believe it! I was starting to feel the sadness, the fear, and the anger again. The mixed emotions are coming back to me again and this time, I was not sure if I could handle them once more. I was so, so afraid. Tests here and there were done on my poor baby. He was crying most of the time but I, too, was helpless. I can't do anything to stop the needles from getting into his nerves. Those tests were needed to be done just so proper medication will be given to him and save him from mental retardation.

By this time, my thoughts were getting the best of me. I was so tempted to be angry and question God why He had to give all these complications to my son. He doesn't deserve them. It just wasn't fair. He's innocent. But I stopped myself from questioning Him because I knew I had done so many stupid, stupid things in my life and hurt a lot of people and I believe in karma. This was my karma. The emotional turmoils, the worries, the guilt, everything! With this thought, I prayed with all my heart. I don't think I ever prayed so hard in my life. The prayer that I made then was the most emotional one. I did not ask for anything grand. Just for forgiveness and the stregnth to accept the things that were happening. I most especially thanked Him for He gave me the most precious gift I have been nagging Him about. He gave us Enzo.

Since then, things got better. He is now 6 months and 17 days old as of this writing. He is much, much better now. He has been gaining weight fast. Thanks to his haberman feeder (courtesy of his Tita Rona from Canada) he was able to feed so well. So well, that he won't stop feeding. Hehehe... He is now the typical baby boy who moves a lot, throws tantrums and, at a very early age, he knows how to get what he wants. He is quite a handful now but I love him dearly. He's my world... he's my life... he's my everything!

Though he still is under constant check-up and lifetime medication for his hypothyroidism, he gets better everyday. He is scheduled for operation for his cleft palate / pierre robin syndrome in June. After the operation, he will be as normal as he should be.

And what have I learned from all of these? That motherhood is no joke. It is hard work but at the same time, it is fun. No high-paying job can equate the joy it brings. It changes you in a lot of ways. It helps you become a better person. Thank God for babies!