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How To Write A Good Joke

2020-08-29T12:26:00.000+05:00

How To Write A Good Joke

Anyone can play the clown, but not everyone can create humor. Because even if you are an excellent storyteller and the jester of all parties, inventing new jokes turns out to be difficult. Finding the right terms, especially when it comes to words on paper - thus eliminating the physical and oral aspect (i.e. facial expressions, intonations, etc.) - is of utmost importance. Likewise, the ideas for these gags do not spring up on their own. But everything can be learned.

However, to be successful in creating a good joke, there are a few things you need to know. It is, therefore, necessary to follow the advice mentioned below on how to write a joke.

Humor = drama + time

So, by getting into the habit of reframing our observations to bring out the funny aspects, anyone can find humor in everything and add that string to their bow.

Learn how to write first funny joke

The easiest trick you can follow, to be a funny person you have to look at the funny characters!

Whether it's comedians, your dad, your boss, or maybe your kid, believe this will teach you a lot.

Think about the methods they use and try to control them according to your personality.

Notice what makes you laugh the most about these characters and try using these notes to create your own comic book character.

even if you take a character from each character, you will find that your character develops a lot.

By doing this you will have several techniques that you can use to be a comedian.

The steps to write a funny joke

Read the small quotes, it can help you a lot. Start with a lecture and you will find that it had a good impact and made people more relaxed to receive more.

Maybe over time, you will be able to create your own funny jokes know what makes us laugh.

Read for satirical writers and the best comic. Do a quick internet search and you will find a lot of it in all languages.

Read funny joke books, because it won't hurt you to remember ready-made jokes, because reading them can help you create personal jokes.

Make you laugh with humor

Laughter and funny jokes is the main goal that anyone who wants to be funny will look forward to.

It is normal for laughter to be a natural and uncontrollable process.

It is very difficult to throw laughs on demand. If you can do it a few times, then the next time you will be fabricated and unnatural.

Fortunately, laughter is contagious.

The proportions of laughter increase puckering times when there are multiple people together, and you will find that in many situations, you automatically laugh when you find people laughing around you.

What we would like to clarify here is that you need more than just making a funny joke to make those around you sacrifice.

but when they start to do it, it will be much easier.

What makes us laugh is our feeling of superiority over another person who is behaving somewhat stupidly, or the inconsistency in a situation, or our desire to relieve stress or stress.

And often our personal mood improves when we find someone referring to a personal issue they know about us while adding a touch of humor to their comment.

Keep the joke in mind

Keep in mind that throwing a prank joke, while an art in itself, shouldn't be light.

So, don't worry because not remembering the last joke doesn't mean you are a failure.

In a recent study from a Washington University, they said that even jokes that are delivered weakly can be funny if told to the right person at the right time.

Everyone has something to make you laugh, you should know that when you find someone in front of you who is not laughing at what you say or do, the solution may be some other way or method.

The basics of the joker

Any competent comedian knows that real comedy is all about taking advantage of the current situation, not keeping as many jokes as possible, here are some guaranteed recipes:

The surprise: you have to use it with force, knowing that causing laughter in an unexpected place, is much easier than in a place expected of it (like the theater).

In other words, just turn the logical possibilities and use the other meaning away from the words, like someone says:

“They appointed us an expert manager… an expert on what? ".

The beginning indicates a particular direction, but the end was completely in a different direction.

Misinformation: In order to distract attention while the joke performs its various tricks.

contradiction is one of the most important elements on which the oral joke depends.

Timing:

Choosing the right timing is just as important as the surprise factor. If the mind takes too long to analyze and understand the joke or saying, the comedy it contains will be lost.

Be quick-witted and hit hard.

Other than the constants:

Changing the state of a person or something that has been constant for a long time can be laughable, as if the business owner is consulting a cleaning worker in the management arts.

Serious:

The height of comedy in our daily life comes from very serious situations.

If you succeed in exploiting this rule, the results will be very promising, just check the daily normal situations and search

To, conclude, the above-mentioned tips are well researched and recognized at comic forums which would certainly help one how to write a joke. A person should be serious and examine the situation with a close eye to throw a joke upon in order to create good humor.

Newest Jokes

2020-08-28T12:41:00.000+05:00

Newest Jokes

1.Three Indians and three Cowboys are going to take the train to a convention. At the station, the three Whites buy one ticket each, while the three Indians buy a single ticket.

- How can three guys travel on one ticket, asks one of the Cowboys?

- Look, and you will see, answers one of the Indians!

They all get on the train. The three Cowboys take their respective places, but the three Indians crowd into the toilet and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train left, the controller came by to check the tickets. He bangs on the bathroom door and says, “Ticket please!”. The door opens slightly and only one hand comes out with the note. The ticket inspector checks the ticket and leaves.

The Cowboys have seen it all, they agree it's a really good idea.

So, after the congress, the three whites decide to do the same as the Indians for the return trip, which will allow them to save some money. At the station ticket office they buy a single ticket. To their astonishment, the three Indians do not buy a ticket.

- How are you going to travel without a ticket, said one of the white people, puzzled?

- Look, and you will see, answers one of the Indians!

When they get on the train, the three Cowboys congregate in a washroom and the three Indians in another next door. Shortly after the train has started, one of the Indians comes out and goes to the toilet where the three Cowboys are hidden. They knock on the door and say:

"Ticket, please!"

2.Do you know why Indians are so not very expansive?

It's because they live on the reserve!

3.A newlywed couple, a cowboy and his country girl, go on a honeymoon trip together on the cowboy's horse. Under the weight, the horse stumbles and breaks its nose on the ground with its two passengers. The cowboy gets up, looks the horse in the eye and furious says:

"ONCE !"

They leave, the horse falls again. The cowboy shakes off the dust and says to the horse:

"TWICE !"

They resume their journey and the horse breaks its face again. The cowboy takes out his colt and lodges a bullet between the poor animal's two eyes. The horrified woman yells at him:

"But hey darling! It's a shame what you just did! That poor beast!"

And the cowboy staring his wife in the eye:

"ONCE ! "

4.Three hunters go hunting in the hills of Wyoming. There's Cowboy Ned, Cheyenne Two Bears, and Trapper Colton. In the evening, after a day of hunting, they all meet in front of a good fire. So the Indian asks Colton:

- What did you hunt today?

"I hunted three bison and four wolves," the trapper answers modestly.

Colton in turn asks:

- And you Ned, what did you hunt?

"I hunted at least ten bison, six wolves and three deer," Ned says proudly!

Then Ned and Colton turn to Two Bears and ask:

- And you the Indian, what did you hunt?

The Indian answers:

- I have chased 50 pasnous.

- What are we not, asks Ned?

- They are people who live in houses and who say: "not us, not us!" "

5.Mike, who has fallen in love with beautiful Peggy, is visiting his girlfriend's parents for the first time. He wants to make a good impression, but the Chili Con Carne of the day before makes his own and his intestines remind him of him every five minutes. Mike, is the focus of the whole family and makes a pretty good impression. Only then that gas is announced and the pain is such that he can only adopt the emergency solution absolute control of his abdominals and his buttocks muscles to slam a silencer into the cushions of the chair. He struggles with all his might and ends up accomplishing his mission.

But now there is a sort of aura floating around him that does not bode well for his future as a potential son-in-law. The owner of the place cannot help but notice the nauseating odor which spreads in the room and shouts: “Medor! "

Indeed, at the feet of the suitor is a dog responding to the sweet name of Medor.

Phew, our relieved hero said to himself, he's the one who takes it! "

He said to himself that after all, since it is the dog who takes it, he might as well take advantage of it, especially since the next one promises to be ferocious. As a virtuoso, the second is released with as much discretion as the first and the smell is more and more present.

“Medor, yells the father !! "

Too bad for poor Médor, Mike royally drops the third. Exasperated, the father gets up and yells:

“Medor! Get out of there: this guy will piss you off!

6.An Indian just bought a new car with her savings. She asks her boyfriend to go behind the car and check that the turn signals are working.

“So are they walking,” asks the Indian? "

The Indian answers:

"Yes… No… Yes… No…"

7.It's a woman who goes to the police to report her husband's disappearance.

- My husband hasn't been home for two days, I'm worried ...

The commissioner turns to his inspector, handing him the photo his wife brought:

-You will immediately go looking for him!

The inspector asks if there is a message to pass on to her husband in case he finds him. The woman hesitates and says:

- Yes. Tell her that my mother won't be coming for the holidays after all ...

8.A Native American dad brings his son to the shore of a large lake to introduce him to fishing.

“Father, what's your secret to choosing fishing spots,” asks the son?

- Very simple, answers the father. Do you see the two fish-eating birds that are on the lake? So you stand in front and there is no problem. The place is good.

- Thank you father! "

And on the lake, two birds approach. The bird son asks his father:

"Father, what's your secret to choosing fishing spots?"

- Very simple, answers the father. Do you see the two fish-eating Amerindians who are on the earth? So you stand in front and there is no problem. The place is good ... "

9.Cheval Blanc and his son, Petit Nuage, came to New York for the first time, with Grosse Couverture, wife and mother of the previous two. While Big Blanket is shopping, the father and son enter a building, and stop in front of elevators. They had never seen one before.

They watch a very strong woman get into one of them and say to the elevator attendant:

"14th floor, please ..."

When the elevator comes down a few moments later, a young and pretty blonde comes down. Cheval Blanc turns to Petit Nuage and says:

"Go get your mother!" "

10.During the conquest of the West, an immigrant family settled on Colorado land. As the area is not very safe, the man decides to install a big bell in front of the house. Then he said to his wife:

- If something serious happens while I am in the fields plowing, ring the bell very loudly, and I will run immediately.

The next day, while he is plowing, he hears the bell and comes running ... His wife says to him:

- I called you because the kids were really unbearable. They don't stop bickering!

- What you made me run more than two terminals just for that! But you're crazy!

A few days later, rebelote. The bell rings, the farmer rushes up. Out of breath, he sees his wife crying, in front of her burnt blackberry pie.

- Damn it ! You want my skin or what he said angry to his wife. I said serious things. I warn you if you call me again for bullshit, it's going to be bad!

The next day the bell rings again. This time again he returns to the farm in fourth gear. When he arrives, the mother-in-law is dead, planted on the porch, pierced by a spear, the farm is on fire, the animals have all died from arrows and from the mule only the bones remain. .

Contemplating the carnage, the farmer says:

- And there you go! Okay ...s

It's a kind of funny story

2020-08-26T13:01:00.002+05:00

The Unfinished Symphony

A company president receives as a gift an entrance ticket for a performance of Schubert's Unfinished Symphony given as part of the music festival in the village where the group's main factory is located. Not having any desire to go to the provinces, and no member of the management wishing to go there, he remembers that the head of the organization department was carrying out a mission in the factory all that week. He asks her to represent him there. The following Monday, the president receives the following report:

Mister President,

I have carefully observed the work of the orchestra performing the unfinished symphony as you had invited me to. Here are the remarks I could give you.

For considerable intervals, the four oboe players stood idly by. One should reduce their number and distribute their work over the entire symphony, so as to eliminate peak periods.

The twelve violins were in unison, they all played the same notes at the same time. This duplication is expensive and completely unnecessary. It would be good to drastically reduce the size of this section of the orchestra. If volume is really necessary, it will be more economical to obtain it through an electronic amplifier, available today at very reasonable prices.

The coefficient of use of the triangle is extremely low. It is in the interest of using this instrument for a longer period of time, and even to provide for several, its purchase price being low, the investment would be very profitable.

The orchestra devotes a considerable effort to the production of half eighth notes. Isn't there a perfectionist refinement here? I recommend rounding all of these notes to the nearest eighth note. By proceeding in this way, it should be possible to use less qualified personnel, and therefore less expensive, or even trainees.

Certain musical passages give rise to abusive repetitions. Is it useful to have the horns repeat the passage already performed by the strings? If all such redundant passages were eliminated, I estimate that it would be possible to reduce the total duration of the concert from two hours to twenty minutes. Incidentally, it should be noted that this would make it possible to eliminate the intermission, which is costly given the lighting in the room and the foyer.

Note also that in many cases musicians use one hand only to hold their instrument. Could we not introduce an articulated mechanical fixing device to do this? This would free up the hands which could then be occupied with other things. Likewise, it seems abnormal to ask wind instruments to exert excessive force at times. Would it not be simpler to equip the orchestra with a compressor that would distribute the air, under adequate pressure, to the instruments concerned?

Last point, the obsolescence of the equipment deserves a close examination. The concert program stated that the first violin used an instrument that was centuries old. By applying reasonable amortization schedules, the value of this instrument should be near zero today. Shouldn't we invest in more modern and therefore more efficient equipment?

We can conclude, Mr. President, that if Schubert had paid attention to these remarks, he probably would have been able to complete his symphony.

Dentist Jokes

2020-08-25T16:53:00.000+05:00

Dentist Jokes

1.Doctor! I broke my tooth with the bean of the pancake ...

Since you are the king I will crown her!

2. A patient apologizes: "Forgive me, I did not brush my teeth ..."

Response from the practitioner: "It doesn't matter, I didn't wash my hands ..."

3. My teeth hurt so much that I can only chew soup.

4. My husband suffers from a sedentary abscess!

5. A young patient wants to keep her CD player. I ask her what she is listening to.

"Pulp fiction" she replies!

6. Doctor, I would rather have a child than have a tooth pulled out ...

No problem, Madame, just the position of the chair to change!

7.I'll take the tooth out. If I hurt you cry out loud.

Will it be that painful?

No, but there are 10 people in the waiting room, and I don't want to miss the game!

8. If you don't follow my prescriptions you will lose all your teeth.

So what?

Then you will bite your fingers!

9. Yesterday I went out with a dentist, we ended up at his place!

So how was it?

He's a good dentist: I didn't feel anything ...

10. But all your teeth are gold!

Yes, it's to set an alarm.

11. What do you recommend for yellow teeth?

How about a brown tie ...

12. Doctor, my toothache is so bad that I haven't slept all night.

What is your job?

Nightwatchman!

I brush my teeth with ammoniacal CIF because it does not scratch the enamel.

13. A lady only has tartar on one side. I ask her which side she eats.

Often at Mac 'Do she answers me!

I did take the "Côtes du Rhône" aspirin and the ultra yeast for my intestinal fauna.

Before coming to your place, we used ourselves at Dr D ...

I still have pain despite the prescribed enemas.

My gums are red because I am anxious when I come to your house.

14.To a winegrower:

- Are you in pain?

- No, I sulfate!

I had a planetary radio made, you know, the one where you see all the teeth.

I look after a difficult little boy. Customers crowd into the waiting room.

The mother must come after. Suddenly she said to me: "You can jump me ...

Yes, I will come back another time, if it suits you. "

15. Two elderly sisters consult me. While treating the second I say to the first:

“Your sister is not at ease, she has less confidence than you. "

She replies: “Already she has no mutual insurance. "

16. My wife died three months ago, take your dentures back, hers is like new, you gave her two years ago and in the end she was not eating anymore.

17.A lady: "I hate that you put your tool in my mouth ... (speaking of the forceps!).

- But Madame, I am a dentist, where do you want ... "

Impression taking with silicones. The practitioner asks a lady to actively cooperate: do with your tongue what I do with my finger. You will stop when it gets tough. Better a soundproof cabinet to avoid any false interpretation in the waiting room ...

18. A couple goes to a dentist and the man, a vigorous fellow, asks the secretary if they can be taken immediately.

The secretary disappears for two minutes, then signals to the couple that they can return to the office.

The man immediately clarified:

- We're in a bit of a hurry if you can do it quickly ... It's a simple operation, you have to remove a tooth. It's almost nothing. No need for injections to put the gum to sleep. I want it to be fast and not to cost a lot!

- Well say so, replies to the dentist, if everyone had so many guts coming to my house ...

And what is the tooth to be extracted?

The man turns around and says:

- Sweetheart? You show him your tooth ...

19. Thierry and a woman meet in a bar.

They chat a bit and then as it happens in life, they decide to go to the woman's house.

After a few drinks, Thierry takes off his shirt and washes his hands.

Then he takes off his pants and washes his hands again.

The woman who watched all this ritual said to her:

"I bet you're a dentist."

He, very surprised, answers:

"Yes .... but how did you guess?"

"It's simple," she replies, "you just wash your hands."

After a while they start to have sex and when they have

finished, she says:

"You must be a damn good dentist."

He, beaming after such a compliment to his ego, replies:

"Of course I'm an excellent dentist, how did you know that?"

She, with an unruffled face, "I didn't feel anything!"

20.what is the difference between a dentist and a teacher?

the dentist tells you to open your mouth and the teacher to close it

21. The Doctor -

He's a guy going to the dentist, and he says to him:

- Listen, I have good news and bad news for you.

So the guy answers him:

- Start with the wrong one, please.

- I have to remove four teeth from you!

- Shit, and what's the good news then?

- All the other teeth are so bad they will fall out on their own, and it won't cost you a dime!

22. Adults - Doctor -

It's a woman going to the dentist. When

the dentist approaches the chair to start his work,

she grabs his testicles through her clothes! The

dentist said to him:

- Wow! Madam, you are shaking my parts ...

The woman replies:

- Yes. And now we're going to be careful and try to

not hurt us, neither one nor the other. Okay?

23. Avarice - Doctor -

At the dentist :

- Doctor, how much will it cost me to have this removed

tooth?

- 900 Francs

- 900 F for a few minutes of work! Ben, you

do not fuck tell me.

- I can extract it very slowly if you prefer.

24. Dirty -

A car misses its turn and crashes into a tree. The man gets out of the vehicle, and realizes that only his dentures are broken. He explains this to the person who came to help him, and who luckily offers him one from the lot he has in his car. He tries a dozen and finds one that suits him.

- In my misfortune he said, I'm still lucky to come across a dentist.

- I'm not a dentist, I'm an undertaker.

25. Dark humor - Doctor -

A man and his wife arrive at the dentist.

The man said to the dentist:

"Look, I'm in a really big rush. I have two friends in my car waiting for us to go golfing. So you forget the anesthesia and just pull the tooth out. We've got the course for 10 am and it's 9:30 am I don't have time to wait for the anesthesia to take effect. "

The dentist cannot get overseeing such a brave man. He then asks that she is the tooth to be pulled.

The man then turns to his wife and says:

"Go on honey, open your mouth and show the doctor"

Tell me a dentist joke

2020-08-24T20:13:00.000+05:00

Dentist Joke

The Scotsman and the Dentist

A Scottish couple are going to the dentist. In the waiting room, the husband announces to his wife that he will come before her, because he won't be very long. When his turn arrives, the husband settles in the chair and asks the dentist:

- How much does it cost to remove a molar with complete anesthesia?

- It takes 100 pounds.

- Too expensive ! And with local anesthesia?

- In this case, 50 pounds.

- Ok. And without anesthesia, using only the forceps?

- It will be 40 pounds ...

- Ok, we'll do it like that then.

The Scottish man gets up from the chair, returns to the waiting room and says to his wife:

- You can come my darling. Now it's your turn.😝😝

Marriage Jokes

2020-08-23T12:13:00.003+05:00

Marriage Jokes

1.Crucial Question

Son: Say, dad, why did you marry mom?

Father: Ah, you too are asking yourself the question ...

2.Prayer

Prayer of a pastor after one of his parishioners came to tell him his desire to break with his loneliness and find a wife:

- Lord, help this man who is looking for a woman to marry to find her, and Lord, in Your Great Mercy, help him, even more, when he has found her!

3.Nice gift

Two friends are discussing:

- My wife and I have twenty years of marriage tomorrow, but I do not know what to offer her for the occasion! What did you buy from yours for your porcelain wedding anniversary?

- Well, for our twenty years of marriage, I offered her a trip to Tahiti ...

- Well then, say it! If for your twentieth birthday, you gave her such a trip, what are you going to buy her to celebrate her fortieth birthday?

- Well, it's simple, I've already thought about it: I'll go look for it!

4.Valentine's Day

It’s the story of a very rich man who, for Valentine's Day, asks his wife what would make her happy as a gift.

- What would you say to a fur coat?

- Okay ...

- How about I buy you a sports coupe?

- No no...

- What would you say to a second home in the mountains?

- No thanks...

Then the husband declares forfeit and asks him:

- Okay, come on, tell me what you want straight away, we'll go faster.

- I would like to divorce!

- Ouch! said the husband, I had not planned to spend so much ...

5.Sales

A young man from a good, wealthy family comes to ask the pastor of his commune to kindly preside over the ceremony of his marriage. The happy pastor told himself that thanks to this sumptuous wedding, he could perhaps raise the parish finances slightly thanks to the fundraising.

Alas, the celebration ended and despite a superb sermon and the large presence of a wealthy society in the audience, the collection is miserable: 10 euros! only 10 euros!

A few months later, the pastor receives the young groom who complains about his wife:

- "She is a spendthrift, dirty, never on time, grieving, spiteful, always in a bad mood, she has all the faults!"

- "What do you want", answers the pastor, "you know, for 10 euros, now, we don't have much!"

6.Double penalty

Do you know what is the penalty for bigamy?

- Two stepmothers.

A woman said to her husband:

- My mother is going half-mad!

And the husband, ironically:

- Ah well, she improves then?

7.To life, to death

This pastor, visibly moved to bless the marriage of young people that he had for many years in his Sunday school, then in the catechism, reread, in front of the assembly, the vows of fidelity and love; his glasses are misted with tears; he is therefore somewhat obliged to say it, in part, by heart:

- You promise to honor him and love him wholeheartedly until death ensues ...

8.Loving husband

- Honey, asks this woman to her husband, you prefer a pretty woman or an intelligent woman?

The husband, wanting to please his wife, replies:

- Neither one nor the other, my love, it is you that I prefer!

9.Error to rectify

One Sunday at the end of the service, a young parishioner walks up to the pastor. The pastor recognizes him because he celebrated his wedding six months ago.

- So, my young friend, how are you?

The young :

- Exactly, Mr. Pastor, I had a question to ask you: do you find it normal that someone can take advantage of the mistakes of others? "

Pastor :

- No, that's not very normal.

The young :

- In that case, will you give me back the 500 euros I gave you to celebrate my wedding?

10. 10.A couple celebrates their 30th wedding anniversary

No longer having sexual attraction for each other, the two decide to do everything to have a beautiful evening as before. They go to dinner in a very nice restaurant in the city center, then go to drink a glass of champagne in one of the bars they liked to go to when they were young, then come back happily to their home. The woman then begins to undress, and the husband begins to see very exciting new lace underwear. The woman then throws herself on the husband, kisses him greedily, tears off his clothes and throws him on the leather sofa. The pressure is really starting to build ...

- The bride is not stupid, she comes home with an old man ... and she comes out with a young ...

Her: - Come on my love! Like before ! Go wild!

Him: - Ouiiiii!

She: - Please! Do not be shy !

Him: - Oouiiii!

She: - Show me that you are always my man!

Him: - Yes, ouiiii!

The woman no longer with the excitement tears off in turn her bra, her panties and throws herself on her husband.

Her: - I want you to tell me dirty things!

Him: - Uhh ... The kitchen, the bathroom, the living room, the toilets

11.Not so stupid

On leaving the temple, on the sidewalk, the kid has just seen the procession of a wedding ...

So he declares:

- The bride is not stupid, she comes home with an old man ... and she comes out with a young ...

12.Compromising earring

A manager suddenly notices that his colleague is wearing an earring.

Knowing that he is very conservative, he finds this change surprising and questions him:

- I didn't know you liked earrings!

- It's okay, don't make a big deal out of it, it's just an earring, the man answers, obviously embarrassed.

- Ah! And since when have you been wearing it?

- Ever since my wife found her in our bed ...

13.Forced marriage

Noah is very annoyed ... In front of him, in the ark, an elephant and a mouse came to see him to convince him to marry them ...

- Well, understand, it's not possible ... imagine what people would say if I accepted ... We've never seen that, a mouse and an elephant getting married!

So the little mouse, all red, all ashamed, all confused to say:

- Yes, but, it is that ... we are obliged ...!

14.Child's vision

Lisa at 5 ... she just attended the wedding ceremony.

At the exit, she declares:

- "Well me, I'll never get married!"

- "And why that ?" asked the terrified parents.

- "Because at the beginning of the marriage, it is way too long, way too boring, it was painful! ... I hope that afterward, it is funnier ..."

15.My girl

Why do men call their wives "my hen"?

Answer: Because they eat their wheat!

Clever jokes for kids to tell

2020-08-22T14:15:00.000+05:00

Clever Jokes For Kids

In this list you will find twenty five clever jokes for kids. Composed of riddles, funny stories or funny anecdotes, they will amuse both children and adults!

1.Pierre's aunt said to him:

- Aren't you too sad that I'm leaving tomorrow?

- Oh yes, auntie, I would have preferred you to leave today!

2.A child asks his mother: "Mum what's in your womb?"

The mother replies, "Your brother, my son."

The son replies: "But why did you eat it?"

3.Two mothers discuss:

- Me, my baby, he's been walking for three months.

- Well ! He must be far now.

4.A lemon mother says to her children:

"To live long, you should never be in a hurry!"

6.A mother calls her daughter:

- Can you help me change your brother?

- Why, is it already worn out?

7.A mother goes out with her very young son and meets one of her very pretty friends on the way.

- Marc, orders the mother, kiss the lady.

- No mother

- Finally Marc, obey it's an order!

- I said no mom!

- But don't look bad! Why don't you want to kiss the lady?

- Because dad tried yesterday and he got a pair of slaps!

8.A thief breaks into a house. He takes the television, jewelry, money ... When he is about to leave, a childish voice asks him:

- Sir, could you not take my report card too?

9.Two brothers are arguing, one says:

- Pigheaded !

- Ho! what an ass!

- You turkey!

Their mother arrives and says:

- Ho ... shut up!

10.A little girl climbs a mountain with her father:

- Dad, can I tell you something?

- When we're upstairs.

Ten minutes later :

- Can I tell you now?

- See you later.

An hour later, the father turns to his daughter:

- Here we are, what did you want to tell me?

- I forgot my bag downstairs ...

11.- P'paaaa? Could you write in the dark ??

- Yes of course.

- You could also sign on my booklet?

12.A little girl asks her father:

- What becomes of us when we die?

- We turn to dust, replies the father.

- So I think I have a dead man under the bed!

13.How should chocolate rolls be stored in a bakery?

In order of increasing (decreasing)

14.A man walks into a restaurant:

- Boy, are you serving noodles here?

- Of course sir, we serve everyone here!

15.Two mothers discussing in front of the school:

- Your son plays the piano, your daughter the trombone, your wife is learning singing. And you ?

- I'm learning to stand the noise.

16.The teacher asks the students:

- In the following sentence: The patient died as a result of his illness, where is the subject?

- In the cemetery, Madame!

17.A little girl walks into a pastry shop and says, speaking strangely:

- Hello, madam, I'm coming to buy a birthday cake for my little sister

- Ah yes ? And how old is she, asked the pastry chef?

- Four years

- What is her name ?

- Plumelle!

- It looks nice. And how did your parents choose this first name?

- Well when my sister was born a little feather fell on her.

- Ah! and you what is your name ?

- Beam!

18.It's the story of two potatoes crossing a road, one of them gets run over and the other screams:

Oh mash!

19.The client asks the server, by consulting the map:

- Boy, what do you trust me to recommend?

- Another restaurant!

20.One day, Pierre's mother made beef steak. She tells him :

- So Pierre, if you eat your steak, you will become as strong as an ox.

- You already gave me the fish and I still do not know how to swim

21.Why don't the cows talk?

Because on the barn, it is written: La Ferme!

22.A child asks his mother:

- Mum, mum, my eye hurts, you have to take me to the zieutiste!

- But my little darling, it's not the zieutiste, it's the oculist!

- But mom, that's not where it hurts ...

23.David's dad asks him what he asked Santa Claus. And David answers him:

- I asked him to come more often ...

24.- What color is a black baby's head?

- Black of course!

- What color are the hands of a black baby?

- naturally black

- What about a black baby's feet?

- Well blacks it makes sense ...

- And his teeth, what color are they?

- white

- Lost, a baby has no teeth!

25.A little boy asks his father:

- Dad, what's a hexagon?

- Uh .... I don't know my son

- Dad, what's the capital of Australia?

- Uh .... I don't know my son

- Papa, where did Napoleon die?

- Uh .... I don't know my son

- Dad, who invented the rabies vaccine?

- Uh .... I don't know my son

At this moment, the mother said to the kid:

- Stop bothering your father!

And the father replies:

- Let him ask questions, he has to educate himself!

Tell me a joke of the day

2020-08-22T12:32:00.001+05:00

TELL ME A JOKE OF THE DAY

Tell me a Joke of the day every morning for laughs -humor

Knowing how to joke, knowing how to make people laugh. Often we want to know how to tell a good joke for our friends. A joke does not lead to anything, does not imply anything, but only stays in the brain of the same people! Laughing feels good and to laugh you already have to feel good.

A blind man decides to visit the United States. He gets on the American Airlines plane, he touches the seat and says: My god these seats are big!

The person next to him, an American replies: Yes! In the USA everything is huge!

Our man arrives at JFK airport, takes a taxi, touches the car and says: My god this car is big!

The driver turns around and says: Yes! Here in America, everything is huge!

Our blind man finally arrives at his hotel. He drops off his luggage and goes to the bar for a beer.

He takes the glass: My god, these beers are out of proportion!

The waiter replied: Yes! Here in America, everything is very very big!

After a few drinks, the blind man asked where the toilets were. The waiter pointed to the second door on the left. He walked to the bathroom, but passed the wrong doors. He took the third, which overlooked the pool, and accidentally fell into it. Scared to death, the blind man began to shout: Do not flush the toilet…. Don't flush the toilet!😊😊

Joke of the day

2020-08-21T13:58:00.002+05:00

Joke Of The Day

In a hotel in France, a French tourist quietly takes his breakfast (coffee, croissant, baguette, butter and jam). An American tourist chewing his gum settles in front of him. Although the French ignores it, the American engages in conversation:

The American: Do you French people eat all the bread?

French (in a bad mood): Yes.

The American (after making a big bubble with his gum): We in America, we just eat the inside. The crust, we put it in containers, we recycle by making croissants and we sell them to the French.

The American has a small smile on his face, the French listens in silence.

The American persists: Do you eat the jam with the bread?

French: Yes.

The American (a big bubble bursts on his face and with a skillful lick, he swallows his chewing gum and continues to chew ...): We don't, in America, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast. And we put the peels, seeds and leftovers in a container, we recycle them by making jam and we sell it to the French.

The French then asks: Do you have sex in America?

The American: Yeah sure, very often he says with a big smile.

French: And what do you do with the used condoms?

American: Well like everyone else, we throw them out.

French: Not us, once used, we recycle them in containers, we make chewing gum and we sell it to Americans ...

Hmorous Quotes

2020-08-21T12:03:00.001+05:00

Humorous Quotes

Writers, politicians, and humorists offer an inexhaustible field of funny aphorisms in which it is delicious to immerse yourself. A selection of brilliant word games, from our cultural heritage or the pens of the greatest authors!

The best of witticisms, murderous phrases and other distilled verbal delicacies.

Words drawn over a repartee, a speech, or a work, they constitute as many humorous pearls that the lover of good words likes to collect.

The doctors are clear: laughter is healthy! Every day, discover humorous quotes from the greatest laughers. The funniest humorous quotes to be brilliant in all circumstances! An anthology of celebrity pearls, quirky and ambiguous little phrases, unstoppable short stories, and other humorous, cult thoughts.

The actors have a unique language: They remember, improvise, color their memory, quote forgotten formulas, even invent funny, cruel sentences which are repeated and become humorous quotes.

Here is a big list of humorous quotes:

1.Easy woman: woman whose number begins with 3615.

Marc Escayrol

2.The swallow does not make spring, but the camel makes the desert.

Francois Cavana

3.The first man that got married, he didn't know. .. The second, it is inexcusable.

Henri jeanson

4.Happiness: feeling of well-being which can lead to recklessness. If you swim in happiness, be careful, stay where you have your footing.

Marc Escayrol

5.It has been discovered that children with two heads are not nearly as witty as those who have only one.

Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

6.In politics as in life, it is often like this: When you don't have what you love, you have to love what you have.

Jacques Chirac

7.Household comfort corrupts; a straight man is a man who has no sink.

Marc Escayrol

8.I would like to know the music that my dog's tail beats in time.

Yvan Audouard

8.Some books are like Italian cuisine: they stuff but don't fill.

Edmond and Jules de Goncourt

9.I like cats because there are no police cats.

Jean Cocteau

10.With us, the shits are stretched so that they make more use.

Frédéric dard

11.Money is more useful than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Woody allen

12.Our head is round to allow thought to change direction.

Francis Picabia

13.It takes three to enjoy a good story. One to tell it well, one to taste it, and one to not understand it. .. Because the pleasure of the first two is doubled by the incomprehension of the third.

Alphonse Allais

14.When Christ rose from the dead, he first appeared to women so that the news would spread faster.

Jean Charles

15.Put all your eggs in one basket and watch the basket.

Mark Twain

16.Saving is a good thing, especially if your parents did it for you.

Winston Churchill

17.I passed an excellent evening. .. but it wasn't this one.

Groucho Marx

18.Fame is not easy to assume. I can't think of anything worse! Yes, maybe anonymity.

Guy Bedos

19.When I learned that Xavier Bertrand belonged to Freemasonry, I was not surprised to find him a mason; but frankly, it stops me a corner

Francois Fillon

20.Did you see how popular Mr. Sarkozy is in the Amazon rainforest?

Christian Estrosi

21.Fadela Amara in government, this shows the limits of Fogiel casting.

Nadine morano

22.Johnny Hallyday who announces his intention to remain French and Bernard Laporte who enters the government, it is a good period for French intelligence.

Francois Goulard

23.It is the same creator who named the stars and who knows the names of the seven souls we mourn today. The Columbia shuttle crew did not return to Earth intact, so we can pray that they are all safe at home.

George W. Bush

24.Some men get what they deserve: others are single.

Sacha Guitry

25.Love is like cards: if you don't have a partner, you need a good hand.

Pierre Desproges

26.I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage: they already know the pain and have already bought jewelry.

Rita rudner

27.Did you hear my dialogue in Braveheart? They must have confused me with the mime Marceau.

Sophie Marceau

28.The flirtatious woman is the pleasure of others and the evil of those who possess her.

Voltaire

29.The most compliment I can give a woman is to say to her: I am as well with you as if I were all alone.

Jean Yanne

30.I took a speed reading class and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.

Woody allen

31.Nice paradox: the woman is the masterpiece of God, especially when she has the devil in her body.

Alphonse Allais

32.By swallowing the nasty words that we do not utter, we never damaged our stomach.

Winston Churchill

33.It is better to be unfaithful to the man you love than to be faithful to a man you dislike.

Wolinsky

34.We dominated them 99% of the time. It was the remaining 3% that cost us the victory.

Ruud Gullit

35.When the candles are out, all the women are pretty.

Plutarch

36.Marriage is like a restaurant: you are hardly served when you look at your neighbor's plate.

Sacha Guitry

37.The only time a woman can change a man is when he's a baby.

Nathalie Wood

38.Politics is like love: you need great feelings and small intentions.

Michele Barzach

39.We only lend to the rich, and we are right, because it is difficult for others to repay.

Sad Bernard

40.In war as in love, to end it, you have to see each other up close.

Napoleon I

41.Unlike men, the ocean retreats so that the sea can keep its fish.

Pierre Dac

42.I don't see how my daughter could have become a chartered accountant.

Johnny halliday

43.The Bac is like laundry: you wet, dry and iron.

Henri troyat

44.In half of today's couples, it is the man who takes care of the children and the other man who goes to work.

Jean Yanne

45. bank will lend you an umbrella when the weather is nice and take it back when it rains.

Georges bernard shaw

46.No racehorse is capable of spinning as fast as the money that has been put on it.

Coluche

47.Why play so many notes when there are such beautiful ones?

Miles Davis

48.My theory is that the mature woman is physically polygamous but emotionally monogamous, i.e. the opposite of man.

Alan brien

49.Better to be devoured by remorse in the forest of Forbach than to be devoured by morbacs in the forest of Frankfurt.

Pierre Desproges

50.There are two ways to take a woman: by size and by feelings.

Henri Bataille

51.Women who love us for our money are very nice: at least we know what to do to keep them.

Francis Blanche

52.I have a tip for remembering your wife's birthday: you just have to forget it once !.

Michel galabru

53.A used car is a car where all the parts make noise except the horn.

Pierre Dac

54.It is good to treat friendship like wine and beware of mixtures.

Colette

55.From a man everything is possible; of a woman everything is probable.

Henri de Régnier

56.On his deathbed, man thinks rather of raising his soul than rabbits.

Louis Auguste Commerson

57.Mozart was so precocious that at 35 he was already dead.

Pierre Desproges

58.When it comes to physical love, textiles are more embarrassing than principles.

Philippe Bouvard

59.Road accidents are not caused by alcohol, but by the car. The proof: put an alcoholic in a wheelchair, he won't kill anyone.

Luis Rego

60.There are so many things that we wish we had done yesterday and so little that we want to do today.

Cute mac laughlin

60.God does what he can with his hands, but the devil does much better with his tail.

Jacques Prévert

62.High heels were invented by a woman who always kissed on the forehead.

Marcel Achard

63.Laziness: habit taken to rest before fatigue.

Jules Renard

64.The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts the moment you get up and doesn't stop until you get to the office.

Robert frost

65.The best way to turn a woman's head is to tell her that she has a pretty profile.

Sacha Guitry

66.Discretion is my motto. I never say anything. Even on my business card, there is nothing written.

Marx Brothers

67.Watch out for overwork. And especially when you are not looking at anything, remember to remove your glasses!

Coluche

68.The woman who loves you talks to you about the future. The one who doesn't love you talks about gifts.

Maurice Dekobra

69.When in a meeting, a man does not say anything while everyone is talking, you can only hear him.

Raymond Devos

70.A forbidden meaning, in short, is only an authorized meaning, but taken backwards.

Pierre Dac

71.Experience: name with which men baptize their mistakes.

Oscar Wilde

78.As Jeanne D'arc said while climbing to the stake: The main thing is to be believed.

Frédéric dard

79.The bonds begin in champagne and end in chamomile.

Valery Larbaud

80.While sleeping with a 15-year-old girl is a misappropriation of a minor, sleeping with a woman over 70 is a violation of burial.

Jose artur

81.What if everything was just an illusion and nothing existed? In this case I really paid too much for this rug.

Woody allen

82.Common sense is what gets you listened to when you're not smart.

Frédéric dard

83.The bed is the most dangerous place in the world: 99% of people die there.

Mark Twain

84.Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Alphonse Allais

85.At the time, he was wiser than today; he often asked my opinion.

Winston Churchill

86.Sometimes I thought about ending my life. But I never knew where to start.

Jacques Prévert

87.For many men, speaking precedes thought. They only know what they are thinking after hearing what they are saying.

Gustave Le Bon

88.Real laziness is getting up at 6 a.m. so you can do nothing longer.

Tristan bernard

89.A good tip for looking ten years younger is to get ten years old when you say your age.

Jean Claude Van Damme

90.The real anarchist always walks between the nails because he hates arguing with the cops.

Georges brassens

91.Experience is that wonderful thing that lets you recognize a mistake when you do it again.

F.P Jones

92.What is the use of learning what is in the books, since it is there?

Sacha Guitry

93.To look natural, I need a really good makeup artist.

Donatella Versace

94.The first part of our life is wasted by our parents, and the second by our children.

Clarence darrow

95.Why do I play bitches so well? Because I am not. This is probably why Joan Crawford always plays respectable ladies.

Bette Davis

96.A friend is like a melon. You have to try several before finding a good one.

Alfred de Musset

97.In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed are frowned upon !.

Pierre Dac

98.Dreadful week: not a single opinion poll. Too bad, we will try to guess our own intentions on our own.

André Frossard

99.Don't take revenge on a woman, time will take care of it for you.

Paul Claudel

100.Monsieur Rocard reasons in billions of light years. In fact, it is more years old than it is light.

Valéry Giscard d'Estaing

101.It is not because man is thirsty for love that he should throw himself on the first gourd.

Pierre Desproges

102.A gentleman is a gentleman who, when he meets a middle-aged woman, opts for the least likely.

David Niven

103.Life is always too cruel. All we can do is try to pass the ball and let the sun shine. Hoping it shines for everyone.

Eric Cantona

104.Way too much for what I do, but not enough for what I piss off.

Daniel Pennac

105.Those who dream by day will always have an advantage over those who dream at night.

Edgar Allan Poe

106.Women live longer than men, especially when they are widowed.

Georges Clemenceau

107.Some women only become spiritual as they get older; it seems that then they are working to make themselves heard to prevent people from watching them.

Jacob

108.A successful man is a man who earns more money than his wife spends. And a successful woman is a woman who has found such a man.

Lana turner

109.Marriage is exchanging bad moods during the day and bad smells at night.

Montherlant

110.It is not I who speak, it is we who speak.

Jean Claude Van Damme

111.The pleasant prospect of widowhood sustains the courage of many wives.

John Gay

112.Refrain from telling your wife about the infamies you have done the previous ones. You don't have to give him ideas.

Sacha Guitry

113.The opposite of laughter is not seriousness, it is reality.

George Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

114.Good ill-gotten gains only benefit those who are smart enough not to get caught.

Pierre Dac

115.Autopsy: it allows others to discover what we have never been able to see in ourselves.

Maurice Ferrand

116.According to an American study, 20% of the inhabitants of our planet speak English. Yes, the remaining 80% did not understand the question.

Jean Yanne

117.I know that for a woman it's hard to make a man happy. But if this job seems too hard on your own, join forces.

Pierre Desproges

118.When God is silent, we can make him say what we want.

Jean paul Sartre

119.Going to salons taught me one thing: to stop shopping around street corners for what you can find for free from women around the world.

Michel Audiard

120.Administration is a place where people who arrive late meet on the stairs those who leave early.

Georges courteline

121.What do all the men I've loved have in common? Me !.

jeanne moreau

122.I only believe in statistics when I have falsified them myself.

Winston Churchill

123.La Meije has 3,998 meters. He lacks 2 meters to make the 4000. It's bad luck !.

Tristan bernard

124.It is not our pollution that attacks the environment. It is the impurities in our air and in our water that are responsible.

George W. Bush

125.I have often wondered what makes a good flu different from a bad one.

Pierre Dac

126.My wife is helpless: luckily for her, otherwise she would be mistaken for an elephant.

Pierre Doris

127.The beauty on all fours can be a stag; the beauty on two legs, a stork; beauty does not depend on the number of legs.

Chinese proverb

128.When they brought the ashes of Napoleon I to Les Invalides, We realized, it's too stupid, That there was no ashtray.

Tristan bernard

129.Nature is far-sighted: she grows apples in Normandy knowing that it is in this region that we drink the most cider.

Henri Monnier

130.You have to put money aside to have it in front of you.

Tristan bernard

131.Widowers mourn the pleasure they had in cheating on their wives.

Robert de Montesquiou-Fézensac

132.Truly, bizarre people can make tough decisions and have a phenomenal impact on history.

George W Bush

133.I would readily agree that women are superior to us if that would deter them from pretending to be our equals.

Sacha Guitry

134.It's not those who run the fastest who are in a hurry.

Coluche

135.Apart from monkeys, all animals refuse to make love face to face. They must sense that the bottom wrinkles less quickly than the face.

Sim

136.I am sometimes too enthusiastic. I start like a racehorse and arrive like a donkey.

Veronique jannot

137.You should never judge people by their dating. Here, Judas, for example, he had perfect friends.

Verlaine

138.It is when you are right that it is difficult to prove that you are not wrong.

Pierre Dac

139.It was not with his modem that he succeeded in reconnecting with the French.

Xavier Bertrand

140.It is better to be naked in a masterpiece than dressed in a turnip.

Victoria Abril

141.I'd give you a parachute if I was sure it wouldn't open.

Groucho Marx

142.It seems that the inventor of the cedilla is a certain Groçon.

Philippe Geluck

143.She floats, she hesitates, in a word, she is a woman.

Root

144.Fame has given me a big advantage: women who say no to me are more beautiful than they used to be.

Woody allen

145.A traitor is a politician who leaves his party to join another. On the other hand, a convert is a politician who leaves his party to join yours.

Clemenceau

146.Human beings are the only animals I'm really afraid of.

George Bernard Shaw

147.Why contradict a woman ? It is so much easier to wait for her to change her mind !.

Jean Anouilh

148.A woman who believes herself to be intelligent demands the same rights as a man. An intelligent woman gives it up.

Colette

149.When you gain confidence in confidence, you become confident.

Jean Claude Van Damme

150.Two things are endless: the universe and human stupidity. Regarding the universe, I have not acquired absolute certainty.

Einstein

151.If you want your wife to listen to what you are saying, tell another woman.

Guitry

152.80% of married men cheat on their wives in the United States. The rest are wrong in Europe.

Jackie mason

153.It's not enough to have luggage, you still have to know where to put it.

Coluche

154.If you want to earn a living, you just have to work. But if you want to get rich, you have to find something else.

Alphonse karr

155.The difficult thing is not to be with your friends when they are right, but when they are wrong.

André Malraux

Funny Stories

2020-08-20T13:10:00.001+05:00

Funny Stories

Feel like laughing? Check out our selection of the best Funny stories of 2020. The best of Funny Short stories are here!

1. I had a vasectomy to keep my wife from getting pregnant.

But it only changes the color of the baby

A lady's husband died almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling him to return to the dating world. Finally, she said she would go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom, I have someone to meet you!" "

Well, that was an immediate hit.

They got caught up in each other and after dating for six weeks he asked her to join him for a weekend in Spain.

Their first night there, she undressed like him.

There she was standing naked except for a pair of black panties, him in his birthday suit.

Looking at her, he asked, "Why the black panties?" "

She replied, "My breasts you can caress, my body is yours to explore, but there I am still in mourning. "

He knew he wasn't going to be lucky that night.

The next night was the same, she was there wearing the black panties and he was in his birthday suit but now he was wearing a black condom.

She looked at him and asked, "What's up with the black condom? "

He replied, “I want to offer my deepest condolences. "

2."Talking Dog For Sale".

A guy sees a sign outside a house that reads "Talking Dog For Sale". Puzzled, he enters.

"So what have you done with your life? He asks the dog.

"I have led a busy life," explains the dog. “I lived in the Alps to rescue avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to residents of a nursing home. "

The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog owner, "Why on earth would you want to get rid of an amazing dog like that?" "

The owner says, "Because he's a liar! He never did any of that! "

3.The dog who does karate

A gentleman invited his old friend to play cards at home.

He asks her: So, have you seen my new dog? he is cute eh? I bought him on my last trip to Japan and he does karate too! What? Karate?

Eh yes! I'll give you a demonstration. So he places a chair in front of the dog and shouts: “KARATE CHAIR !! »The dog jumps on the chair and destroys it! The chair is reduced to matches. " Unbelievable! Said the buddy.

"Wait, it's not over ..." He places the cushion of the chair in front of the dog and shouts: "KARATE CUSHION !! »The dog jumps on the cushion and destroys it! The feathers are flying everywhere ... oh my boyfriend can't get over it.

At this point, the third buddy who always late shows up: "What the hell happened here"? The other guest buddy who still couldn't believe what he saw said, "You should have seen this!" Her dog does karate!

That's it yeah "karate my ass !! "

4. A guy sits in a movie theater and notices that the man in front of him has brought his dog with him.

A guy sits in a movie theater and notices that the man across from him has brought his dog and he's sitting in the seat next to him.

He thinks it's unusual, but he loves dogs, so he decides that until it's a distraction, he won't mention it.

The movie starts and soon there is a funny part. The dog makes low woofing sounds that sound like laughter. In a little while, there is a sad part and the dog seems to be crying. This continues throughout the film and the man sitting behind the dog is stunned.

When the lights come on, he pats the dog owner on the shoulder and says, “I have to say, and I know it sounds weird, but it looked like your dog enjoyed this movie. "

The dog owner looks at the dog and nods. “I know, it's really weird,” he said, “because he hated the book. "

5. A German, a Japanese and a chti sit naked in a sauna

Suddenly, a beep sounds. The German squeezed his forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at her questioningly.

“It was my pager,” he said. “I have a microchip implanted under the skin of my arm. "

A few minutes later, a phone rang. The Japanese raised his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, “It was my cell phone. I have a microchip in my hand. "

The chti felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He got out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He came back with a piece of paper hanging behind him. The others raised their eyebrows and looked at him.

The Chti finally said, “Well look at this, I got a FAX. "😻😲😉

Good Humor

2020-08-19T12:42:00.004+05:00

Good humor

On every May 7, world day of laughter, let us remember that “what is proper to man” is good for health in particular because it reduces stress. Laughter therapies are also intended to derive all the benefits. But laughing and making people laugh is not for everyone. Having a sense of good humor is also being able to mobilize cognitive abilities to perceive what is funny in a situation that is not necessarily funny at first. In October 2016, a cognitive psychology professor explained to us why humor is good for mental health, brings well-being and shows a rather optimistic nature.

Good Humor holds an important place in our lives. We look for it at all ages and in all cultures, whether listening to a humorous column in the morning, exchanging a well-thought-out tweet or joking with a colleague at work. Historically, humor was viewed in a rather negative light by psychologists, who could see it as contempt, a mark of superiority of the individual or a defense mechanism aimed at masking their real feelings.

Modern psychology shows how good humor is seen today as an asset for mental health. Being able to make others laugh allows you to distribute a little well-being around you; a touch of good humor in everyday life promotes rapprochement between individuals and reduces stress.

The art of joke

But enjoying humor requires some mental operations. Psychologists describe understanding a joke in three stages:

first, you have to imagine the situation of the joke,

then grasp an incongruity there,

and finally, manage to evacuate the initial explanation which is not funny in order to perceive the humor of the fall.

Sometimes we don't appreciate humor for a number of reasons. First, the joke can have a racist or sexist connotation. Second, understanding humor requires being able to inhibit its initial non-funny representation. For example, in violent cartoons like Bip Bip and Coyote, where the latter is subjected to atrocities, you have to be able to forget the cruelty towards the animal to appreciate the humor.

In older people, due to cognitive decline due to age, humor may not be perceived as well as in younger people. In a 2013 literature review, Gil Greengross of the University of New Mexico shows that older people often value humor more than younger people. But a decline in their cognitive abilities reduces their ability to produce humor, a difficult task that requires proper functioning of the frontal lobe.

Here is the list of some good humor jokes:
1. Paradise

In paradise, two women are talking.

- Why are you dead?

- Well, when I got home, I was sure my husband was cheating on me. So I ran to our bathroom. No one. I ran down the stairs to our room. No one. Then I arrived, out of breath, in the living room. No one. And on my way, panting, to the cellar, I had a heart attack.

And the other answers him:

If you had opened your freezer from the start, we would both be alive

2.Three old women are walking.

On the ground there is a pile of used condoms. The first then complains:

Look at that, these little bastards no longer respect anything.

The second takes a condom with her cane. They really do it anyhow. In my day we didn't need these things!

The third takes the condom. She gobbles up its content saying:

And in addition they leave the best ...

3.A plane is about to land

The pilot and his co-pilot, seeing the runway, are traumatized:

"But she's tiny !! We're never going to land on such a short runway !! We're all going to die! They're crazy for making such a small runway !!!"

The stress rises, the plane goes down, and finally, comes to a halt at the end of the runway.

The pilot, sweaty but relieved, exclaims:

"It was really, really short this trail!"

And the co-pilot, glancing right, then left, adds:

"But on the other hand, what is LAAARGE!"

4.Dinner

During a dinner between two couples in their fifties, one of the husbands keeps calling his wife by little nicknames "my darling, my love, my sweetie ..."

At the end of the meal, the other husband, astonished, asks him in private: "Hey, how do you manage, you, after 30 years of marriage, to continue to call your wife like that ?!"

And the other to answer:

"Well, actually, it's because I dare not tell him, but ... I forgot his first name!"

5.Three old people

Three little old people are talking sitting on the bench of the retirement home. The first is 70 years old, the second is 80 years old and the third is 90 years old.

The 1st says: "me in the morning, I get up, I have lunch, I do my needs and after, I will run a little ..."

The 2nd says: "I am the same, in the morning I get up, I have lunch, I do my business and then I walk a little ... I am no longer very young ..."

And the 3rd: "I am the same, in the morning I have lunch, I do my business and then I get up!"

6.Blonde

Julia is a blonde who is in bed with her lover when the phone rings. She picks up and starts a short conversation. Then she hangs up and turns to the guy saying:

It was Gerard. He told me not to worry and not to wait for him tonight because he is playing cards with you.

7.What is the difference between an accident and a disaster?

If your mother-in-law is drowning: it's an accident.

If you save her: it's a disaster.

8. A Drunk Guy

A completely drunk guy comes to ring insistently at people

in the middle of the night.

The man of the house stands up and asks furiously:

" What do you want ?"

The other answers him:

"Come push me !!! You have to come push me !!!!"

The owner of the house said to him:

"I don't know you, and besides it's 4 a.m.

wake up to tell me to push you and I don't want to, so get out

from here and don't bother me anymore !!! "

Back in the bedroom, he goes back to bed, but his wife who has everything

heard, sermons him:

"Even if you exaggerate, it has happened to you to be broken down

night, you could have pushed that poor guy!

- Yeah, but it's cold and he's drunk !!!

- All the more reason to help him, he won't do it on his own. No ?

Really, I don't recognize you, I'm very disappointed with your

attitude...!!!"

Her husband, seized with remorse, gets dressed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and

calls out :

"Hey man !!! It's okay, I got dressed on purpose to come to you.

push !!! Where are you ?"

And the drunk guy answers:

"There on the swing !!!!!!!!"

9.The action takes place in 2015

A man comes home from work with a lie detector robot.

Her 15-year-old son comes home 2 hours late from school.

Where have YOU been all this time? Asks the father.

I was at the library to prepare an assignment!

The robot goes to the son and slaps him ...

The father explains:

My son, this robot is a lie detector! You'd do better

To tell the truth ...

- OK ... I was at a friend's house and we watched a movie: The 10

Commandments.

And paf! The robot slaps the son again ...

- Ouch! Yeah ! It was actually a porn movie ...

The father :

- I'm ashamed of you ! At your age, I never lie to my parents!

And paf! The robot slaps the father ...

The mother laughs:

- Definitely, it is your son ...

And paf! A slap on the mother ...

10. Excavations

In the course of excavations in the Russian subsoil up to 100m of

depth, Russian scientists have found remnants of

copper that was around 1000 years old.

The Russians concluded that their ancestors already had 1000

years of a copper wire network.

The Americans, for good measure, also carried out

excavations in their basement to a depth of 200m.

They found fiberglass remains there. It turned out that they

were about 2000 years old.

Americans have concluded that their ancestors already had a

2000 years of a digital fiberglass network. And that, 1000 years before

Russians!

A week later, in Belgium the following press release was published:

"Following excavations in the Belgian subsoil to a depth of

5000m Belgian scientists found nothing at all. They conclude

that the Former Belgians already had a WiFi network 5,000 years ago.

11.Before marriage:

She: Hi!

Him: Ah, how long I've been waiting for this!

She: Do you want me to go?

Him: NO. I do not even dare to think about it

She: Do you love me?

Him: Of course! Very much !

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

Him: NO! Why do you ask ?

She: Do you want to kiss me?

Him: Whenever I get the chance

She: Will you beat me one day?

Him: Are you crazy?

She: Can I trust you?

Him: Yes

Her: Honey!

After the wedding ... read from bottom to top!

12. A lady bought a wardrobe

A lady bought a wardrobe from Ikea and decided to assemble it on her own, without waiting for her husband. She takes a good look at the plan and sets to work. There it's done. But down in the street, a bus passes. The floor vibrates, and the wardrobe begins to shake, and there she is on the floor. The lady does not admit defeat. She resumes editing, following the steps one after the other, she even adds a point of glue here and there ... Here it is, it's over. But the shuttle bus has returned, and again the floor vibrates, the wardrobe shakes, shakes and the ceiling, it collapses. Exhausted, she calls the Ikea after-sales service. He was immediately sent a technician. When he arrives, he leaves his bag, leaves his butt in the ashtray and declares:

Well, let's see that, I'll redo the edit and we'll see what happens. He assembles normally and, in a quarter of an hour, the matter is settled.

Well, this cupboard is very good, where is the problem?

Wait a bit for the bus to pass, and you will see ... The bus does indeed pass, and the ground vibrates, the cupboard shakes, and the cupboard crumbles.

I will have the last word! says the technician, and he starts the assembly again, but with super strong glue, additional screws, big hammer blows ... And the bus which continues its service passes in the street, and the ground vibrates, the cabinet trembles, trembles, trembles and vlan, it is found in a thousand pieces. The technician gets angry:

Holy shit! I'll get to the bottom of it. I'm going to put it all back together normally, and I'm going to get inside to see what happens when it vibrates.

And that's when the lady's husband comes home from work. He sees the bag, the cigarette butt, and asks his wife:

You're cheating on me, I'm sure now. Who owns this satchel? and this cigar? Here, and this wardrobe is new! Your lover is in there, I know it !.

And he opens the wardrobe.

So, what are you doing here?

Well, you won't believe me, but I'm waiting for the bus ...

13.The Unfinished Symphony

Mister President,

I have carefully observed the work of the orchestra performing the unfinished symphony as you had invited me to. Here are the remarks I could give you.

For considerable intervals, the four oboe players stood idly by. One should reduce their number and distribute their work over the entire symphony, so as to eliminate peak periods.

Certain musical passages give rise to abusive repetitions. Is it useful to have the horns repeat the passage already performed by the strings? If all such redundant passages were eliminated, I estimate that it would be possible to reduce the total duration of the concert from two hours to twenty minutes. Note incidentally that this would eliminate the intermission which is expensive given the lighting of the room and the foyer.

Note also that in many cases musicians use one hand only to hold their instrument. Could we not introduce an articulated mechanical fixing device to do this? This would free up the hands which could then be occupied with other things. Likewise, it seems abnormal to ask wind instruments to exert excessive force at times. Would it not be simpler to equip the orchestra with a compressor which would distribute the air, under adequate pressure, to the instruments concerned?

We can conclude, Mr President, that if Schubert had paid attention to these remarks, he probably would have been able to complete his symphony.

14.Real vs Virtual

Dad, what's the difference between 'Real' and 'Virtual'?

It's simple, go ask your mother and your sister if they are ready to sleep with a stranger for 1 million euros?

The boy will ask and report the answer:

They said that for a million they would make the effort ...

Well you see, we are virtually a millionaire and really ... we have 2 whores at home!

15.In 2010, God visited Noah

In 2010, God visited Noah who lived not far from the sea and said to him:

- Once again the earth has become unlivable and overpopulated and I must act. Build an ark and gather a couple of each living being and a few good humans. You have six months to do this before I send rain for 40 days and 40 nights.

Six months later, God looked down and saw Noah sweeping his yard, but no ark.

- Noah, he growled, I will send the rain soon, where is the ark?

- Forgive me my God, implored Noah but times have changed. I needed a building permit to start the ark. I had to fight for several months with the inspector over the alarm system for the fire. Meanwhile, my neighbors got together because I was breaking the subdivision rules by building an arch in my yard and was going to obstruct the view. We had to go to the conciliator to get an agreement.

Then the Town Planning presented a report on the costs of the work necessary to allow the ark to reach the sea. In vain I told them that it is the sea that would come to the ark, they did not want to believe me.

Obtaining sufficient wood was another problem. The associations for the protection of the environment joined forces to prevent the cutting of trees, under the pretext that we were going to destroy the habitat of several animal species and thus endanger them.

I tried to explain that, on the contrary, all this wood would be used to save these species, nothing helped. When I started to bring together couples of different animal species, the SPA, the WWF and Brigitte Bardot fell on my back. Under the pretext that I locked up wild animals against their will

in rooms too small for them. That in doing so, I was doing an act of cruelty to animals.

Then, the government agency for sustainable development wanted to launch a study on the environmental impact of this famous flood.

At the same time I was debating with the Administration over the employment of volunteer workers in the construction of the ark. I hired them because the unions forbade me to employ my own sons, saying I should only use highly skilled workers in arch construction and if possible unionized.

To make matters better, the tax authorities seized all my assets, claiming that I was trying to flee the country illegally, followed in this by customs who added that I wanted to cross the borders to species recognized as dangerous.

So forgive me, my God, but I don't even know if 10 years would have been enough to build this ark.

Immediately the clouds cleared and a magnificent rainbow appeared. Noah raised his head and said

- Aren't you going to destroy the world?

- No need, replied God, the Administration takes care of it

16. A man in a bar

A man in a bar, after a few beers, decides to make a bet with the owner bartender.

I'll bet you $ 20 that I can bite my right eye.

the barman thought that the man had probably drunk too much to reason logically, so he accepted the bet, sure to make easy money.

It was then that the man took his right eye which was actually a glass eye and bites it. After receiving his money and buying himself a few more drinks the man offered the bartender another bet.

I bet you the same amount that I can bite my other eye.

The bartender accepted the bet, telling himself that the man couldn't have two glass eyes. He wasn't blind after all.

Much to the bartender's dismay, the man took his dentures out of his mouth and brought it to his left eye to bite it.

Seeing the bartender's depression caused by all this loss of money, the man decided to offer another bet.

Come on, don't look like that, I offer you another bet for all the money you give me, I bet I'm able to piss in a shooter worm three meters away without dropping a single drop on the ground.

The bartender seeing the opportunity to get his money back agreed. The man was so drunk he was sure he would win.

So the man sat down and started pissing all over the floor when he was done there wasn't a single drop in the glass. It was then that the bartender laughed and picked up the Satisfied Silver but noticed the man was smiling.

But why are you smiling? said the bartender. You just lost 40 dollars!

It was then that the man exclaimed

You see the four men sitting at the table in the back of the room. I bet 100 with each of them that if I pissed on your floor you'd laugh.

17.He's a guy walking into a bar.

He sits down at the counter and addresses the bartender.

"Come on, a whiskey before it starts!"

The bartender serves him a glass of whiskey which the man drinks in one gulp before exclaiming:

"Come on, a second whiskey before it starts!"

The bartender serves him his second glass of whiskey, which the man still drinks at once. This one, imperturbable, asks again:

"Come on, a third glass of whiskey before it starts!"

The bartender serves the third glass of whiskey but when giving it to the man says:

Well, maybe we should think about paying now.

There you go, it begins.

18. Asylum

One day a madman is sitting on the wall of an asylum.

A motorist stops because he has a flat tire.

He wants to screw his spare tire but he realizes that he has no screws

The madman said to him:

You only have to take a screw from each wheel to attach the last one.

The surprised motorist said to him:

Well what are you doing here, you are not crazy!

and the madman replied:

If I'm crazy, but not stupid.

19. Despair

He is a man who finds himself in the most complete despair. He finds life so difficult that he sees only one way out: suicide.

So he takes a rope and goes into the forest.

While adjusting the noose on a branch, another man walks past him. He's a priest. He sees what the first is about to do and says to him:

"My good man, think before committing such an act. There is surely better to do. Here, I have a Bible with me, you will surely find a good word there which will comfort you."

The desperate man, hearing this, said to himself "Why not?"

He lets go of the rope, sits down on a stump and opens the holy book at random.

And there, at the very top of the page, it reads:

"Repent!"

20.A big show

In a big game show, the three contestants happen to be an engineer, a physicist and a mathematician. They have a test to do. This test involves building a fence all around a flock of sheep using as little material as possible.

The engineer has the herd gathered in a circle, then decides to build a barrier all around.

The physicist builds a fence of infinite diameter and tries to connect the ends of the fence together until the moment the whole herd can fit in the circle.

Seeing this, the mathematician builds a fence around himself and defines himself as being on the outside.

Christmas Jokes

2020-08-18T11:54:00.001+05:00

Christmas jokes

1. Do you know the Christmas joke?

She smells of the tree.

2. Do you know the Christmas joke?

Ask my mother.

3. What do you call a cat that fell into a paint pot on Christmas Day?

A Christmas painted cat

4. Do you know the Christmas joke?

It's a turkey story.

5. Do you know the scary Christmas joke?

Attention you will have the balls.

6. Mr. and Mrs. Duciel have five children, what are their names?

Betty, Baba, Noël, Quentin, Sandra.

7. What is the favorite city of Santa's animals?

Rennes.

(Lol)😛😛

8. Who is it forbidden to spend Christmas with?

With your class. Because Christmas is Santa class.

9. What is the difference between a tree and you?

The fir tree is a conifer and you are stupid but there is nothing we can do about it.

10. What is the favorite case of psychoanalysts at Christmas?

Do. The case Do.

11. What do prostitutes sing at Christmas?

“My beautiful tapiiin, king of the forests. "

12. Monsieur and Madame Rlande have a son, what's his name?

Mistletoe.

13. Monsieur and Monsieur D'hiver, who goes whistling and blowing in the big green fir trees, have two sons, what are their names?

Yves and Ivan.

14. What does a Christmas tree say that arrives late on New Year's Eve?

“I'm going to get shouted out again. "

15. What to say when we drink a toast at Christmas?

Santa! But not arms!

(I had a stroke from laughing)😃😄

16. Your mother is so fat that she will eat all the foie gras.

That's not even a joke, it's just an insult but balek is the spirit of Christmas.

17. Why is Santa Claus in prison?

Because in accordance with article 226-4 of the Penal Code, “the introduction or maintenance in the home of others by means of maneuvers, threats, assault or coercion, except in cases where the law allows it , is punished by one year's imprisonment and a fine of 15,000 euros. "

18.Santa Claus in Ethiopia:

Like every year, Father Noel does not forget the poor countries and arrives in Ethiopia. With his great host, he approaches the little children and asks them:

Children, why do you have a swollen belly?

This is because we do not eat anything answer all children.

And Father Noel answers:

That’s not good for children; If you don't want to eat, you won't get any presents this year!

19.The Santa Claus dilemma:

On Christmas night, Santa Claus comes down by the fireplace and arrives in a room. In the bed a beautiful naked young woman is lying.

Santa hesitates:

Either I let myself be tempted and I no longer showed up to heaven, or I resist, and I no longer go up the chimney ...

20.Christmas shopping:

In court at the start of the year, the judge asks:

Accused, what do you blame for?

The accused replies:

I am accused of having made my Christmas shopping too early!

The judge :

How's that too early; It is not forbidden …

The accused:

Too early, that is, before the store opens ...

21.Christmas card :

Two girlfriends discuss:

Me, my husband sent me a nice Christmas card.

His girlfriend answers him:

Well me, my husband sent me lots of Christmas cards: A visa card, a master card, an American Express card ...

22.Christmas Blonde:

A blonde decides to go get a Christmas tree in a forest herself.

She searches for hours, and exhausted, she ends up saying to herself:

Well, too bad, even if I find a tree without a ball, I take it anyway ...

23.Christmas cake :

What is the hardest cake in the world called?

Answer: The Yule log!

24.A car for Christmas:

A wife wishing to have a sports car as a Christmas present leaves a note to her husband:

Honey, I want something for Christmas that goes from zero to 100 in seconds.

And she receives as a Christmas present, a scale weighs no one!

25.Funny Christmas party:

Two friends are discussing:

- So how did you spend Christmas?

- How a gift ...

- What do you mean ?

- I spent Christmas drunk under the tree!😋😋

School Jokes

2020-08-17T13:11:00.000+05:00

School Jokes

1.What is the difference between a teacher and a thermometer?

Any. We tremble when they mark "0"!

2. I decided not to go to school anymore, announces a little boy to his mother.

In what honor ?

On the news bulletin, they said that someone had been shot in Italy because he knew too much.

3.Martin's teacher asks:

Martin, do you know the difference between the sun and your math homework?

No sir.

Well, the sun is a star ... and your duty is a disaster!

4.At school, the teacher returns the copies and takes said to one of his students:

Come on, my little Antoine, admit that your father helped you do this homework!

Not at all, Messieurs, I swear it to you ... - It's true, are you sure?

Yes, I'm sure. He did it on his own.

5.In class a student raises his finger, the teacher who thought he was going to give him an answer gives him the floor.

Sir, the fly of your pants is open!

The very embarrassed teacher closes it and decides to call out to the student on the way out.

Listen my son, the next time you see my fly open don't tell me in front of the whole class.

So how will I do?

After a little reflection, the teacher answers him:

Instead of telling me the fly is open tell me that the administration is open, OK?

OK Messieurs

The next day the student raised his finger when the teacher had not asked a question. The teacher understood what it was ...

What's going on my son, the administration is open?

No sir, the principal is outside!

6.She is a schoolteacher who asks her students what their dad is doing.

So what is your dad doing?

He is a mechanic!

That's it and you, what is your dad doing?

He is a baker

It's good! It feeds society.

And it continues because it is important to question all the students in the class.

And at the end of the class there is a very little curled up who is very sad.

The teacher asks her: what is your dad doing?

My daddy is dead!

Obviously this throws a chill. So the teacher does not want to stop there because it is terrible;

she asks him :

and before he died what was he doing?

he was doing ARRRRGHHHH!

7.Thomas finds his English teacher quite to his liking. Also, he sends her an SMS:

Douillou sink it is possible tou crak-crak wiziou zis ivening?

Scandalized, she answers:

Never!

So Thomas, very happy, writes this last text:

Splendid, let's say never, never and a half!

8. A cannibalistic child always stays in a corner. His mistress goes to see him and asks him:

But why don't you go with the other children?

Because my father told me not to play with the food!

9. Two schoolchildren, Thomas and Théo, arrive late for class. The teacher then asks:

Why are you late ?

Thomas apologizes saying he lost a euro coin. The mistress, letting Thomas in, said:

And you Theo, why the delay?

While Thomas was looking for his coin, I hid it under my feet.

10. A teacher says to a student:

Take the door.

I can't, said the student!

Why can not you ?

Because I don't have a screwdriver!

11. A little girl comes back from school and says to her father:

Daddy, daddy, don't you know the last one?

No he answers!

It's me !

12. The English teacher is inspected.

The inspector takes his place at the back of the class next to little Denis. The teacher suggests that the students do oral translations.

Who can translate 'My dog is black' for me ?.

Me, me, said Denis, raising his finger.

I'm listening, said the teacher.

What a beautiful butt she has that one!

You're expelled from the course, rude kid!

Little Denis is packing up his stuff in his bag and, leaving his seat to take the door, says to the inspector: When we don't know, we don't blow!

13.An academy inspector goes to a classroom. He questions a student:

Who broke the Soissons vase?

The pupil turns pale, hesitates, then stammers in a sob:

It's not me ...

How? 'Or' What ? You don't know who ...

"Sir, since he tells you it's not him," said the professor.

How? 'Or' What ? How? 'Or' What ? You also don't know who ...

Well, no, answers the professor evasive.

The inspector then makes a report to the director of the establishment.

See the state of education, students and teachers do not know who broke the vase of Soissons!

The director, annoyed, wonders:

But who broke this vase?

He sends a request to the rector of the academy.

The latter, receiving the request, examines it between two urgent cases and exclaims:

But what a story for a vase! That we replace it!

14. After the baccalaureate exams, a young Corsican returns home. His father asks him:

so the bac, how was it?

You'll be proud of me, dad.

Great, did it work then?

Of course ! They interrogated me for two hours, but I didn't say anything!

15.According to a brief in a newspaper, a private school in Haute-Garonne was recently faced with an unusual problem. An increasing number of 12-year-old girls have started using lipstick and applying it in the toilet. So far, no problem, but after putting it on, they applied their lips to the mirror, leaving dozens of little marks. Every night the housekeeper had to clean the mirror and every day the girls started over. In the end, the principal decided to do something and set up a meeting between the girls and the cleaner in the bathroom. He then explained that the marks were a big problem for cleaning because they were very hard to remove. To show how difficult these marks are to remove, he asks the housekeeper to clean the mirror. He then takes his sponge broom, soaks it in a toilet bowl and cleans the mirror with it.

Since then, there are no more lipstick brands.

16. In a biology class, the teacher explains that semen contains a very high level of glucose. A first year girl raises her hand and asks the question:

If I understand correctly, you are saying that there is as much glucose in semen as in sugar.

It is true.

The young girl thinks a little then raises her hand and asks:

Then why doesn't it taste like sugar?

After a few seconds of astonished silence, the whole class bursts out laughing, and the poor girl, realizing what she has just inadvertently said, turns brick red, picks up her things, and leaves the amphitheater. However, on the way out, she hears the professor's response, very deadpan:

Miss, it's because the taste buds are on the tip of the tongue, and not at the back of the throat.

17 .Little Thomas asks his teacher if he can talk to her after class. She accepts.

Teacher: So what do you want to tell me, Thomas?

Thomas: I think I'm too smart to stay in this class, I'm bothering! I would like to go directly to the Lycée.

With that, the director informed, asks Thomas if he wants to take tests. Thomas accepts without hesitation, the director begins the tests.

The Director: Let's see Thomas, 3 x 4

Thomas: Twelve!

The Director: And 6 x 6

Thomas: Thirty-six, Mr. Director.

The Director: Capital of Japan?

Thomas: Tokyo

The test continues for half an hour, Thomas makes no mistakes! At the end of the test, the principal is satisfied, but the teacher asks if she can ask him questions in her turn. They both accept, and the teacher begins.

The Mistress: Good Thomas! The cow, she has 4 and I have 2, what is it?

Thomas: The legs, Madam.

The Mistress: Correct .. What do we find in your pants and not in mine?

The Director is surprised at the question ...

Thomas: Pockets, madam.

Mistress: Good, Thomas. What do men and women have right in the middle that is duplicated?

The principal prepares to intervene when Thomas answers.

Thomas: The two "M's", Madame.

Mistress: Where do women have the most curly hair?

Thomas: In Africa Madam, the kid answers without hesitation.

Mistress: What is soft but which, in a woman's hands, becomes hard?

The Headmaster opens his eyes wide but Thomas replies:

Nail polish, madam.

The Mistress: What do the men and us women have in the middle of the legs?

Thomas: The knees!

The Mistress: Good. And what does a married woman have that is larger than a single woman?

18. Pierre comes home from school much earlier than expected. Without a word and with his head bowed, he takes out his notebook from the satchel and hands it to his mother. The headmistress wrote a note that says:

We kicked Peter out of school today because of his behavior. Please explain the difference between men and women.

After having read the message, Pierre's mother takes her son by the hand and, arriving in the room, she says to him:

Pierre, take off my shoes.

He immediately takes off his mother's shoes.

Pierre, take off my blouse.

He does it.

Pierre takes off my skirt.

He does it.

Pierre, take off my bra.

He does it.

Pierre, take off my tights.

He does it. Furious, her mother shouts in her ears:

And now, Pierre, promise me never to put my clothes on to go to school again!

19.The teacher returns her copy to a student:

Thomas, your writing on your dog looks word for word to that of Pierre!

And the little boy answers him:

Normal, madam, we have the same dog!

20. In a small rural village, a girl arrives late for school. The teacher asks him:

You've seen the hour ? Hope you have a good excuse!

Well, madam, I had to bring the cow to the bull.

How? 'Or' What ? Couldn't your father have taken care of it?

Well no, madam, he had to bring mom to the mammoth

Blonde Jokes

2020-08-16T13:11:00.002+05:00

Blonde Jokes

Fill up on laughs with blonde jokes at https://trendingfungala.blogspot.com/, an online source of relaxation and entertainment. Blonde humor, browse short funny blonde jokes and much more.

1.Women's football teams

Two women's soccer teams are in a Double-Decker bus. On the ground floor, a team of brunettes are partying in all directions. On the first floor, the blondes are calm and seated in their seats.

A brunette goes upstairs and asks:

- But why don't you party?

A blonde answers:

- Well, you have a driver, we don't!

2.The blonde and the bookstore

A blonde to a blonde bookseller:

- I would like a book.

- Which author?

- Uh, 20 cm.

- Vincent who?

3.The blonde and the game of chess

Two blondes decide to play chess. One says to the other:

- Tell me, do you have the rules in mind?

- No why, I'm bleeding from the nose?

4.The blonde and the flashing

What does a blonde say to the mechanic when he asks if his indicator is working?

- He walks. It does not work. He walks. It does not work. He walks…

5.Two blondes and a car

Two blondes have been trying for an hour to open the door of their car with the lock locked. The first says to the other:

- I can't unlock the door!

- Hurry because it's starting to rain and the hood is open.

6.The blonde and the toilet

Why do blondes go to the bathroom with a gun?

- To flush the toilet!

7.The blonde and the bread

Why do blondes bang bread against the wall?

- For a snack!

8.The blonde and the cinema

Why do blondes take a pear at the movies?

- To split the pear!

9.The blonde and the pig

Why does a blonde run after a pig with an ax?

- To make a piggy bank!

10 .Mental diarrhea

It's the blonde who goes to see her doctor and says:

- Doctor, I think I have mental diarrhea.

The doctor said to him:

- But how do you explain that?

And the blonde answers him:

- Anytime I have an idea, it's crap.

11.Mirror

A blonde walks around and crosses herself with a mirror. She then thinks:

- I've seen that face somewhere before! I'm pretty sure I know him.

After a while she said to herself:

- Ah, I know !!! This is the bitch staring at me at the hairdresser!

12.Gates of Heaven

Two blondes wait at the gates of Heaven after their death.

The first asks the other:

- How did you die?

- I'm frozen to death.

- Ah, that's horrible! What is it like to die of frost?

- You are shaking, your fingers and toes hurt. But after a while you become very calm as if you were falling asleep ...

- How did you die?

- Oh me, I had a heart attack. I suspected my husband was wrong, so one day I decided to find out. I got home in the middle of the afternoon and found my husband watching TV… I ran into the bedroom and found no one, then into the basement at full speed , nobody was hiding there either. I rushed up to the second floor, but still no one. I finally stormed into the attic, and before I could even get there, I had a heart attack and died.

The second blonde then said:

- What a pity ! If only you had checked in the freezer, we would both be alive!

13.AIDS

A blonde has sex with a guy. After a while she asks him:

- You don't have AIDS at least?

- But no !

They continue then the blonde asks again:

- Are you really sure you don't have AIDS?

- But I'm telling you no! And then why this question?

- Because it would piss me off to nab him a second time!

14.New York

A blonde walks into a bank in New York and asks for a loan.

She explains that she is going to Europe for two weeks on business and needs to borrow $ 5,000.

The agent says the bank would need collateral for this loan.

The blonde then hands the keys to her new Roll Royce.

The car is parked in front of the bank, the blonde has the papers, the titles and everything is in order.

The bank agrees to take the car as a pledge for the loan.

As soon as she left the agency, the manager and his agents

burst out laughing:

- She's a blonde, to leave a Rolls of $ 250,000 as a pledge of a loan of $ 5,000.

An employee then takes care of parking the car in the garage

underground of the bank.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns: she returns the 5,000

dollars and interest, which is exactly 15 dollars and 41 cents.

The banker then said:

- Miss, we are very happy to have done business with you and this transaction went very well, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found you to be a multimillionaire! Why this loan of 5,000 dollars?

The blonde answers:

- Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for $ 15 and 41 cents and expect to find it when I get back?

It is often said that blondes are assholes ...

But there is even more stupid: bank employees for example.

15.Day of the week

How to make a blonde laugh on Sunday?

Tell him a funny story on Friday!

Funny clean jokes for kids

2020-08-15T13:08:00.000+05:00

Funny clean jokes for kids

Who said April 1 was just for kids? Not us ! So it is with all our enthusiasm and playfulness that we share with you our best jokes for kids! Adults have the right to have fun for a day, right? A naughty and nice little joke never hurt, did it? However, beware of reprisals! ... and APRIIIIL FISH

The best funny jokes for kids in the morning

1.Put food coloring in the milk

The night before, pour a few drops of food coloring into the bottle of milk. At breakfast, watch their reaction when they pour milk on their cereal!

2.Shrinking their shoes

With newspaper, stuff the insides of their shoes and make them believe when they come out, that their feet must have just grown terribly during the night.

3.Replace Easter Eggs

Replace the Kinder eggs with real chicken eggs. Make your kids bite into a real egg wrapped in Kinder paper! Wish her "Happy Easter" before you yell "April Fools!" "

In the same vein, buy a bunch of white grapes, remove the aluminum foil from the small Easter eggs and replace the chocolate with a raisin. Hihihihi !!!

The best jokes for children during the day

1.Bringing the fridge alive

Buy a bag of small self-adhesive plastic eyes and place them on each product in your fridge. Discreetly scrutinize, the astonishment and astonishment of the children when they open the pantry door!

2.Turn Hollywoods into atrocious chews

Coat the chewing gum with your polish "so you don't bite your nails" (it's harmless, but it leaves an unbearable bitter taste in your mouth). Leave the package on the table and watch their little faces when they fall for one of their favorite treat!

3.Have it, it hurts…. beware April fool

Pretend you cut your arm while cooking, yell "Help, I'm in pain, help". Wait until your savior is leaning over your wound to remove your hand and let appear the pretty April Fool's Day with a mocking smile that you will have drawn on your arm beforehand!

4.Make Oreos with toothpaste

Open the Oreos in half and replace the vanilla paste with toothpaste. At snack time, watch the children's faces as they swallow a bite of their favorite cakes!

5.Turn off the TV remote control

Place a tape on the ON button of the remote control. Then as if that were not enough, replace the batteries in the remote control with a small paper fish. The next person who wants to watch TV will have a hard time turning it on, until the moment they want to change the batteries!

The best clean jokes for kids at night

1.Place small hooked animals under the shade

Who appreciates the horrible little bugs when they invade your home? No one ! So get your scissors! It's time to cut out some of the most ugly insects out of black paper. Spider and cockroach will do just fine. Then place the neither seen nor known, inside a lampshade. Turn on the lamp, and presto! That's it !

2.Put “finger snaps” under the bathroom rug

When your children get out of the bath, clac-clac-clac! Strange, isn't it?

3.Sprinkle salt on their toothbrush and replace the toothpaste tube for the mayonnaise tube!

Other funny clean jokes for kids

1.Speed limit

A police officer stops a driver who has exceeded the speed limit:

- Papers?

- Uh, scissors?

2.Big ears

A child comes home from school and says to his mom:

- Mom, everyone tells me I have big ears!

His mother answers him:

- No, my rabbit ...

3.The farm

Why don't the cows talk?

- Because there is a sign in front of them where it is marked the farm.

4.The parents

Parents are two people who teach you to walk and talk, then tell you to sit down and shut up!

5.A thief

A thief breaks into a house. He takes the television, jewelry, money ... When he is about to leave, a childish voice asks him:

- Sir, could you not take my report card too?

6.Tadpoles

This is the story of a tadpole he thought it was early but it was late

7.Fat cow

A brother and a sister are arguing ...

- Fat cow !

- You're just a donkey !!

- Poor turkey!

- Fat pig !

Their mother intervenes:

- Oh shut up!

8.What does a pill say in a pill jar

What does a pill say in a pill jar?

- I feel compressed

9.A child asks his mother: "Mum what's in your womb?"

The mother replies, "Your brother, my son."

The son replies: "But why did you eat it?"

10.Pierre's aunt said to him:

- Aren't you too sad that I'm leaving tomorrow?

- Oh yes, auntie, I would have preferred you to leave today!

Sex jokes

2020-08-14T13:10:00.000+05:00

1.What do you call a whore who doesn't give a blowjob?

You don't call ...

2.Men are like snowstorms ...

You never know how many centimetres you will have, or how long it will last!

3.A man says to his wife "You won't see me for 5 minutes"

-Why ? she says

-Because I'm going to fuck you ...

3.What do you call a whore who doesn't give a blowjob?

You don't call ..

4.What do you call the balls of a redhead?

The roux-bignolles

5.Jehovah's Witnesses are like balls ...

They always go around in pairs and are never allowed to enter

6.What do you call cop semen?

Chicken breast

7.Why don't hens have breasts?

Because roosters don't have a hand!

8.Do you know what a noise a sperm makes?

- Well next time, you'll bite instead of swallow!

9.What is the lifespan of a mold?

Twelve or thirteen, because after that there is hair and it's called a cat.

10.What is a northern gasme?

Orgasm with someone in your family

11.Why do blondes have chewing gum in their hair?

Because managers stick them under their desks!

12.Why do bald people take viagra?

To have a ponytail.

13.Why don't hens have breasts?

Because roosters don't have a hand!

14.What do you call a sperm with 2 suitcases?

A representative of my balls!

15.Someone who takes Viagra but doesn't need it,

can we say he's a band of his own?

16.2 penises discuss and the first says to the second: "I feel you tense"

Yes, I have an oral in 5 minutes

17.How do you know when a man has had an orgasm?

He rolls onto his side and starts to snore

18.What is a whore on a diet?

A fat whore

19.Which animal can change sex in 1 second?

The naughts and crosses!

20.A guy bangs on a whore's window

- How much is it ??

- 200 €

- TWO HUNDRED EUROS ??? It's expensive !!!

- Yes, but it's double glazing

Daddy's jokes

2020-08-13T14:32:00.002+05:00

1.What do you call a constipated owl?

An owl.

2.I told a joke to a Parisian ...

He didn't laugh ...

3.What is the difference between Tintin and Snowy?

Snowy does not have a dog ...

4.What does the judge say to the penguin?

"Come on, let's testify"

5.Monsieur and Madame Loinlamérik have a daughter. What is her name ?

Axelle

6.Melon and Melèche buy an old house,

Melon repairs it and Melèche lives in it.

7.This is a guy walking into a bar and saying "Hi, it's me! "

But it wasn't him….

8.A mom Kangaroo asks her son: How did your exam go?

- " It's in the pocket "

9.How does a good sister make babies?

Brooding

10.What is the quietest sport?

The parachhhhhhuuuuutt!

11.Monsieur and Madame Doizot have a son. What's his name ?

Denis

12.- Doctor, I think I need glasses.

- Certainly yes. This is a bank here.

13.Why does Gilbert Montagné swing when he sings?

- To be sure to pass the microphone at least once.

14.What does a crocodile do when it meets a crocodile?

He accosts her!

15.Which dinosaur is microwave safe?

The Pyrex

16.Mr. and Mrs. Manvussa have a son. What's his name ?

Gerard

17.When do we change the time?

Every 60 minutes

18.Monsieur and Madame Loge have a daughter. What is her name ?

Laure

19.Which super hero eats dry food?

The Dober-man

20.Mr. and Mrs. Colnissizo have a daughter. What is her name ?

Eugenie

21.Mr. and Mrs. Bomber have a son. What's his name ?

Jeans

22.Monsieur and Madame Léponje have a son. What's his name ?

Bob

23.A patient at the doctor: "You have two weeks to live"

The patient: "I will take the last two of August

24.What is small, square and yellow?

A small yellow square ...

25.- Did you drink yesterday?

- I don't remember, I came home drunk.

26.What is a dauphine apple?

She's the one who finished 2nd at Miss potato

27.A woman to her husband: - "Honey, what kind of woman do you prefer? Beautiful or intelligent women? "

- "Neither, my darling ... You know very well that I only love you ..."

28.What is transparent and smells like carrot?

A rabbit fart

29.Why can't blind people bungee jumping?

Because it traumatizes the dog.

30.- You know the joke that kills?

- No…

- Pan!

31.Mr. and Mrs. Oinlachine have a daughter. What is her name ?

Cecile

32.Melon and Melèche take their 4 hour:

Melon eats the figs and Melèche the nuts.

33.Monsieur and Madame Tatouillehèbone have a daughter. What is her name ?

Lara

34.A camel said to a dromedary: - How are you? - Well, I work, and you?

- I work, I work!

35.A geek is never bored ...

It File ...

36.A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for Viagra: - “Do you have a prescription? "

- "No ... but I have a picture of my wife. "

37.Why is the sky so high?

So that the birds do not hit their heads.

38.What is a euro on a plane taking off?

A layered cake…

39.Mr. and Mrs. Akaileur have a daughter. What is her name ?

Undine

40.Monsieur and Madame Lohèfrèche have a daughter. What is her name ?

Samantha

41.We don't say ungrateful

But a fat dwarf.

42.Hello, do you have hallal cereal?

Yes, I also have tine tines and ture ture jam ...

43.Did I ever ask Gargan to kill?

And Gargan Tua ...

44.It seems that in Dijon, they are all single

Because love is late

45.What is the favorite game of officials?

The Mikado, because it is the first to move who loses!

46.What do you call a fight between a fly and a snail?

A skirmish

47.What is the most beautiful caress that a mother-in-law can give us?

Caress her home!

48.A man is arrested for car theft….

But will be released 2 years later for good behavior.

49.Mr. and Mrs. Imome have a son. What's his name ?

Max

50.What is the height of the music teacher?

To give bad grades to his students!

Animal jokes clean

2020-08-12T14:11:00.000+05:00

1.Nature did it right

A dromedary mother and a baby dromedary discuss the things of life:

- Mom, why do I have these huge feet with three toes?

The dromedary mother answers:

- Well, it is so as not to sink, when crossing the desert immensities.

- Ah ... Okay, the son answers.

A few minutes later, the son asks again:

- Mom, why do I have such long eyebrows?

- These eyebrows are there to prevent sand from getting under your eyelids during sandstorms.

- Oh okay mom, answers the son.

A little later, the little dromedary returns to the charge:

- Say mom, why do we have this big bump on our back?

The mother dromedary, tired of all these questions, answers:

- The bump is used to store water, for our long races in the desert. It is thanks to it that we can go without drinking for several dozen days!

- OK mom ! So if I understand correctly, we have very wide feet so as not to sink into the sand, long eyebrows so as not to have eyes irritated by the sand, and a bump on the back to be able to store water during long races in the desert ... But then, mom, tell me one more thing ...

- Yes, my son?

- What are we doing here in the Viennese zoo?

2.One animal can hide another

Little Alan is filling a hole in the garden when a neighbor leans over the fence, interested in the young boy's activity. He then asks her:

- But what are you doing, my little Alan?

- My goldfish is dead, Alan answers sadly without looking up, and I just buried him.

The neighbor comments:

- But it's a terribly big hole for a simple goldfish, right?

Alan finishes packing the earth and replies:

- It's because it's inside your cat.

3.Intervention divine

A burglar has just entered a beautiful villa, and begins to retrieve the valuables he finds there.

Suddenly he hears a small voice that says:

- Rôô Jesus will punish you, Rôô Jesus will punish you!

The thief turns on his flashlight and asks:

- Who's talking?

- Rôô it's me, the parrot! Rôô Jesus will punish you!

- Ah well, said the relieved thief, and what is your name?

- Rôô Coco! Be careful rôô Jesus will punish you!

- Coco! But that is really too common a name for a parrot!

- Rôô maybe, but Jesus is not trivial for a pitbull!

4.A holy meal

A hunter, armed with his rifle, walks in the Savannah. Suddenly he sees a lion ... who sees him too.

The lion, visibly belligerent, starts running towards the hunter.

This one, panicked, shoulders his gun in a hurry, tries to shoot ... but the gun is jammed! He then begins to run as fast as he can to escape the feline. But, tripping over a branch lying there, he falls ...

The explorer, frightened, has despite everything the reflex to pray:

- Oh my God, make this lion think Christian!

Then a miracle occurs, the lion sits down, and begins to speak, saying:

- My God, bless this meal.

5.Canine cannibalism

A huge trucker is sitting in a bar for a drink when a whiny little guy walks in and asks who owns the pit bull outside. The trucker yells:

- It is my dog ! Is it a problem for you ?

The guy replies:

- No, but I think my dog just killed yours ...

The truck driver suddenly stands up and says:

- What! But what do you have as a dog?

The other guy answers:

- A miniature poodle!

- A poodle ! the trucker yells again, but how can a poodle kill a pit bull?

- Well, replies the guy, I think he choked on ...

6. Cold chicken

He's a guy who's recently had a parrot. On the one hand, he's lucky, because his parrot is very verbose: he can't stop talking.

On the other hand, he is really pissed off, because all the words that come out of the parrot's beak are swearing and vulgarity.

One day the man has more than enough. He grabs his parrot by the throat, shakes it very hard and yells at him:

- Stop with your curses!

Unfortunately, this only turns the parrot on and swears even harder.

So the guy takes the bird and locks it in a closet. But then again, that only annoys his parrot who throws him a pile of insanity through the closet.

The guy is so mad that he takes the parrot and locks it in the fridge. And there as by a miracle, the parrot calms down ...

After a few minutes, the guy takes his parrot out of the fridge ...

Calmly, the parrot climbs onto his arm and says:

- I am terribly sorry for all the inconvenience I have caused you. The guy can't believe it. His parrot is totally transformed ...

And at this moment that the parrot adds:

- Just to find out, what had the chicken done?

7.Not so stupid

A monkey walks into a bar and asks the bartender:

- Do you have baanaanas?

- No, we don't have bananas.

- Do you have baanaaaanes? insists the monkey.

- No, no bananas here!

- Do you have baanaaaanes? the animal persists.

- No, but are you deaf or what ?! If you ask me again if I have bananas, I'll nail your tongue to the counter !!

- Do you have any nails? then asks the monkey.

- No ... answers the bartender, exasperated.

- Do you have baanaaaanes?

8.Dog stories

Two dogs are walking. Suddenly, one of them starts to wriggle.

- You saw, he said, a brand new lamppost! It's worth a drink !

-It's a dog that meets a crocodile. The crocodile says to the dog:

- Hi flea bag!

And the dog answers him:

- Hello handbag!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-A puppy asks his father:

- Dad, what's my real name: sitting or lying?

9.Driver

A biker was rushing on his motorbike on a deserted road, when at the bend of a bend, he finds himself face to face with a little sparrow flying in the middle of the road.

He does all he can to avoid the unfortunate bird, but nothing to do, the collision is inevitable!

In the rear-view mirror he sees the unfortunate little animal spinning around on the asphalt, then falling on its back, wings outstretched.

Seized with remorse, he stops and realizes that the beast is only unconscious. He picks up the sparrow, buys a small cage, and he sets it up snugly, with a little bread and a saucer of water for when he wakes up.

The next day, the bird wakes up, sees the bars of the cage, the piece of bread and the saucer of water, puts its head between the wings and exclaims:

- Aah but what a story! I killed the biker and here I am in prison!

10.Of animals and men

Two sardines are swimming quietly in the Mediterranean, suddenly one of them sees a submarine and asks her girlfriend:

- But what is this ?

The other responds:

- Don't worry, they're canned men.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the middle of Paris, a madman sprays a product in a bomb. A passer-by addresses him:

- What are you doing there ?

- I just invented a product to keep elephants away.

- But it's stupid, there is no elephant around here!

- So you can see: my product is effective!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-In the countryside, an old couple will celebrate their golden wedding anniversary.

- How about we kill the pig for the occasion? suggests the husband.

- And why then, answers the woman, it has nothing to do with it!

11.Family History

Two friends meet in front of the vet:

- I'm taking my dog to the vet because he bit my mother-in-law!

- Oh well, you're not going to make him sting?

- No, you're kidding ... I'm here to sharpen his teeth!

12.What are these beasts there?

He is a businessman who crosses an Alpine region by car and has some time ahead of him. He sees a peasant watching over his flock.

- So, my good fellow, what are these beasts?

- Cows. They are cows.

- Ah, yes, mmmh, mmmh. And they make a lot of milk, these cows?

- Houlà, yes. The white ones give me 10 lit 'of milk a day.

The farmer lets a few seconds pass and adds:

- Blacks too, by the way ...

The businessman continues:

- Ah, mmmh, mmmh, yes, of course. And these beasts, what are they, eh?

- Sheep.

- Hey, very good. And that's a lot of wool, these ... sheep?

- I think so. The whites make me twenty kilos a year.

...

... blacks too, by the way.

- Yes Yes Yes. And these little beasts, what are they, then?

- Chickens. See Ben.

- Ah, oh yes, of course. And that gives you a lot of eggs, these hens?

- Ben, the whites do well one a day, good weight.

...

... blacks too, by the way.

- Mmmh, yes. But, say then, my good fellow, can you explain to me why you systematically distinguish the black beasts from the white beasts, since in any case they produce the same thing?

- Aah maaiiis sir, well hey, ho, is that the white, well, they are pouting! Hey !

...

... blacks too, by the way ...

13.Millipede Stories

A centipede has a rendezvous with an ant.

The ant has been waiting for a long time, but the centipede is still not here ...

Finally, an hour late and all out of breath, he finally arrived:

- But what were you doing? asks the ant.

- Well, outside there is a sign: "Wipe your feet!" replies the centipede ...

A centipede mom counts the paws of her newly born child:

- 998, 999, 1000 ... 1001! Oh, it's a boy!

14.Little jokes about elephants and giraffes

How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

- We open the fridge door, we put the elephant, we close the fridge door.

How do you put a giraffe in a fridge?

- We open the fridge door, we remove the elephant, we put the giraffe, we close the fridge door.

How do you know that an elephant has been in a fridge?

- In the traces he left on the butter!

In Noah's ark, an animal was missing, which one?

- The giraffe, it was in the fridge.

How does an elephant hide in a field of strawberries?

- He paints his nails red!

Have you ever seen elephants in a strawberry field?

- No, it's because they are well hidden!

Why are elephants gray?

- So that they are not confused with wild strawberries.

Which elephants are still afraid of being taken for wild strawberries?

- Those with red eyes.

How do red-eyed elephants hide from strawberry pickers?

- They go up in cherry trees.

How does an elephant climb a cherry tree?

- He sits on a stone, and he waits for the tree to grow.

How does an elephant come down from a tree?

- He sits on a leaf, and waits for autumn.

Why does an elephant never play with a computer?

- Because he's afraid of the mouse.

What can elephant moms have that other animals can't?

- Baby elephants!

What does an elephant take when he walks into a bar?

- Space ...

15. Mouse boasting

Three mice are sitting around a table, nibbling a bit of cheese, while discussing the tip of the fat.

Naturally, they end up bragging to who is better.

The first mouse says:

- I have to admit that I'm pretty badass: you know, mousetraps with a bit of cheese on them? Well I manage to lift the jaws of the trap and take the cheese. Really !

The second on hearing this outbid:

- Yes, not bad, not bad. But do you see the poisoned wheat lying around here and there? ... Well me, I use that as a snack when I watch Tom & Jerry on TV!

So the third mouse gets up and goes to the door saying:

- You are both really too strong! Okay, I have to leave you, I have to go home now, it's time to take the cat for a walk ...

16.Oiled the dog?

This story takes place in the countryside. It is a local peasant who once again lost his dog.

He said to his wife:

- Say here the Ma'am, the dog has also disappeared.

- Go see a little at the SPA (Society for the Protection of Animals) once they have found it!

The farmer therefore goes to the SPA in the hope of finding his dog there:

- Hello sir, here I have my dog I have two days and as it was not coming back, I wondered if you could not m 'help?

- Is the dog tattooed?

- Of course he is pouting!

17.Risk of falling

A lady walks into a pet store when suddenly she sees, a parrot with a blue ribbon hanging on one paw, and a red ribbon hanging on the other.

She asks :

- Why does this parrot have ribbons hanging from its legs?

- Because when you pull on the blue ribbon, he speaks French, and when you pull on the red ribbon, he speaks English.

The lady, curious, asks:

- And when we shoot the 2?

- I'm breaking my face, answers the parrot!

18.Snails

Two snails roam the city, the first asks:

- Shall we go eat cherries?

The other :

- But is it winter ?!

- Yeah, by the time we get there ...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two snails are walking on the beach.

Suddenly they see a slug. One of them then exclaims:

- Oops, turn around, we are on a nude beach!

19.Animal friend

On a departmental road, a truck driver is by the side of the road, next to his broken down refrigerated truck. He waved and stopped another trucker:

- What is happening ? asks the trucker who has stopped.

- You are just right, I have a little favor to ask of you! Here, my truck let go of me and I have 15 penguins to take to the zoo. With this heat, time to mend, they will all be dead. As I saw that your truck is refrigerated too, it would be nice to take them to me there.

- No problem, I like animals, answers the trucker, charitable. And here are the penguins transferred to the new truck.

The broken-down man gives a few tickets to the trucker who helps him out:

- Here, here is a little money for the expenses ... As soon as it is repaired, I arrive ...

An hour later, the guy who had broken down fixed it, and here he is with his truck, in town towards the zoo. Stopped at a red light, he sees his charitable truck driver, on zebra crossings, followed by his 15 penguins:

- But what are they doing here ?!

He runs after the guy and the penguins:

- But where are you going, why didn't you take them to the zoo?

- I took them there, the guy answers, but since I had some change left, I'm taking them to the cinema

20.Animal war

A colony of ants was regularly walked over by a herd of elephants.

One day, the ants decide to do themselves justice.

As the herd of elephants passes, one of them is left behind.

The ants attack, climb on the isolated elephant and sting it from all sides.

Feeling tickled, the elephant shakes itself violently and the ants all find themselves on the ground.

All except one, valiantly clinging to the mastodon's neck so as not to fall. On the ground, the other ants shout at the top of their lungs:

- Go ahead ! Strangle him! Strangle him!

10 little puzzles or riddles

2020-08-11T13:55:00.009+05:00

The first puzzles known to mankind appeared in Babylon, and to this day they still represent a great opportunity to spend time with friends in order to test each other's skills and reasoning. Riddles are not only fun, but also useful for everyone, for example, they improve children's vocabulary and maintain the memory of the elderly in order to avoid dementia.

Trendingfungala invites you to come together with all your family and friends to try to solve the puzzles that follow!

1. Which door is the safest?

One fine morning, a little girl named Marie finds herself trapped in an old castle. She quickly finds herself in front of four doors, only one of which leads to freedom. As she opens each of the doors, she discovers what each one hides:

The first leads to a ground of molten lava that would immediately melt anything.

The second contains a killer clown who would beat to death anyone in front of him.

The third is in a room so cold that everything freezes there in just a few seconds.

The fourth leads into a room where a policeman would shoot indiscriminately at any man or woman entering it.

Mary should choose the fourth door.

The policeman would shoot any man or woman, but Marie is not an adult, she is a girl.

2. The Eiffel Tower

It seems that Guy de Maupassant hated the Eiffel Tower so much that, every day, he ate lunch in the one place where he was sure he would not see it. What was this place?

He ate in the restaurant on the first floor of the Eiffel Tower.

3. A murder in the sauna

Four friends regularly went to a sauna together, and they always took something with them. Ben, who was a musician, always took an iPod with him to listen to music. Stephan, who was a banker, always carried a thermos with him. Patrick and Mickaël were lawyers, and they always brought documents to read.

One day, Patrick was found dead, visibly killed by a sharp object. The police immediately attended the scene to investigate, but found absolutely nothing.

How could this have happened?

Patrick was murdered by Stephan, who had hidden a very sharp piece of ice in his thermos. The murder weapon therefore had time to melt and disappear before the police arrived.

4.An angry wife

Pierre called his wife to tell her he would be home by eight o'clock. He finally arrived at 8:05 am. Although the couple had nothing special to do, his wife was furious at the delay.

Why was she so angry?

When he told his wife he was home at eight o'clock, the latter was thinking of eight in the evening, or 8 p.m., but Pierre did not come back until the next morning, at 8:05 a.m.

5. A fly in the cafe

While Benjamin was sitting at a cafe terrace, he discovered a fly in his cup. He then asked the waitress to bring him another coffee. But after he got a new cup and took a sip of the coffee, he got angry, realizing it was the exact same cup of coffee he sent back.

How did he understand that the waitress had poured him the exact same coffee again?

The second coffee was already sweet, even though Benjamin had put sugar in his "first" cup before he found the fly there.

6.The broken statuette

While alone at home, John heard something fall in his wife's room. Upon entering the room, he saw that his favorite statuette was broken, and just then someone ran out of the room.

John tried to chase after the intruder, but once on the street, his glasses became cloudy in the cold. Seeing nothing, he must have let the thief go.

John told the story exactly like that to the police, but the agent sent there refused to open the investigation, and advised him to stop lying, and to admit that it was he who had broken the statuette.

Why is John's story wrong?

If John had run down the street chasing the so-called intruder, the lenses of his glasses would not have fogged up, because when a person leaves a warm room and suddenly finds himself in a cold environment, the mist does not form. . It's the change from cold to hot that causes fogging. What happened was that John was afraid to admit to his wife that he had broken her favorite statuette.

7. Jamel was murdered

Jamel was found murdered in his mansion bedroom. Her bedroom had no windows, however, and the door was locked. The only four people who had the key to Jamel's room were questioned.

Sophie, the housekeeper, said: “I came to wake up Mr. Jamel, and when I saw he was dead I screamed!”

Jean, the butler, said: “When I heard the scream, I ran into the room, turned on the light, and saw Mr. Jamel with a knife stuck in his throat.”

Sarah, the housekeeper, said: "I ran to Jean, and when he turned on the light, the room was full of blood."

Pierre, the cook, said: "I was making breakfast, and I saw nothing!"

Who is the murderer ?

It's Sophie. If it was dark in the room until Jean turned on the light, there was no way she could have seen Jamel lying there, stiff dead.

8. A very familiar stranger

Steve recently met a stranger he had never seen before. He had only just learned of its existence, but no one had given him a specific description of his appearance. He was not a famous figure either. However, Steve recognized the stranger at first glance.

How is it possible ?

This stranger was the twin brother of a friend of Steve's.

9. The closed car

A man was found murdered in a car. There was no trace of powder on his clothes, which means the killer was not in the car when he shot him. There were also no bullet holes on the body of the car, and all doors and windows were locked.

How could he have been killed?

The victim was in a convertible. The killer shot him first, then closed the top.

10. The key to the treasure

An adventurer discovered a chest containing treasure in a cave guarded by a pirate, who had three keys in his possession: one in gold, one in silver and one in bronze. Only one of them could open the trunk. However, the pirate only left the adventurer with one chance to reach the treasure.

If he chose the right key, he could keep the treasure, but if he was wrong, the pirate promised him painful death. The only clue was on this parchment: LHXA COELANEOF DTZOERALEDE.

What is the correct key?

When the adventurer removed various letters from the clue, he could easily decipher the code that read "the golden key".

How many puzzles were you able to solve? Which do you think is the most difficult? Leave a message in the comments below, and share this article with your puzzle-savvy friends!

10 short jokes for kids

2020-08-10T12:31:00.000+05:00

10 short jokes for kids

With these short and easy jokes children will laugh out loud with their friends and family

Children love to tell jokes, especially to friends and family. They tend to listen to their classmates and repeat the same joke over and over again because they find it funny and even the most imaginative ones make up their own jokes.

The best jokes for children are those that have a language adapted to theirs, a simple and easy humor and that are not excessively long, so they do not get lost in the joke while you tell them or even, they do not forget if they are the ones who are counting.

Joke.1

- Dad, how does it feel to have such a handsome son?

- I don't know son, ask your grandfather ...

Joke.2

Once upon a time there was a man so small that he climbed on top of a marble and said:

- The world is mine!

Joke.3

Teacher:

- Tom, if in this hand I have 8 oranges and in this other 6 oranges, what do I have?

- Huge hands, miss.

Joke.4

These are two mosquitoes that go on a motorcycle and the one in the back tells the one in front:

- Hey, stop, I've got a fly in my eye ...!

Joke.5

1. At school the teacher asks:

- Maria, tell me a word that has many “o's”.

And Maria answers:

- Sweet, teacher.

- Very good, Maria. Now you Jaimito.

The child thinks and says ...

- Goooooooooooooooooooool.

Joke.6

- Luisito, what is the A? Asks the teacher

- A vowel, teacher

- And the K?

- A consonant that cannot be repeated

Joke.7

- Jerry, what planet comes after Mars?

- Wednesday

Joke.8

- What is the fish that smells a lot?

- The Peztoso !!!

Joke.9

- Teacher, what does 'why' mean?

- Why?

- For knowing

Joke.10

Mom, at school they call me distracted

- Juanito, you live in the house across the street.

How a sense of humor comes to children

2020-08-10T11:37:00.000+05:00

How a sense of humor comes to children

Try playing on words or sarcasm at a toddler, in return you might only get a blank stare. Babies' reactions can be unpredictable - if they ignore your best clown performances, they may laugh at something completely innocuous. Of course, children are not completely devoid of humor. But how do you know what will amuse them at such and such an age? And when are they able to perceive irony and sarcasm?

Recently my two-year-old has been having fun grabbing my nose and pretending to throw it in the kitchen trash can, which makes him giggle. It might not be a joke I'll try out at my next dinner in town, but it shows that his sense of humor is kicking.

Socialization is one of the main ingredients necessary for its development. Children must first be aware of the resonance that their reactions can have in others. This is what we typically do when we laugh and exchange impressions - interactions possible as soon as the newborn can make eye contact and smile. Psychologist Lev Vygotsky believed that humoristic interactions facilitate children's cognitive development.

However, in order to be able to make a joke, beyond a simple face, a number of cognitive skills come into play. The most important are imagination, the ability to change perspective, and language. Since these skills develop at different rates in different children and continue to evolve through adolescence and adulthood, there is no solid theory by which to determine precise stages in the process. developing a sense of humor.

A surprise effect

Almost all types of humor assume that there is an incongruity between a concept and a situation. In other words, we laugh when things surprise us because they don't seem out of place. Take the example of the following joke: "A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks him, 'But why are you making a head three feet long?'" Part of the fact that we find it funny is that horses don't normally go to bars. But the fall is entertaining as we don't first understand why the horse would be sad. Then we hear the double meaning of the expression - horses do have long heads.

So it may seem that fluency in the language is a prerequisite for humor. Infants and children with still limited expressive abilities are generally more sensitive to gestural comedy such as hide and seek games. But simple jokes like this, although they require less cognitive skills than jokes that play on words, also rely on performing incongruous events. There is an element of surprise that comes with playing "hello, peek" with a baby, because it's all about making someone suddenly appear out of nowhere.

In fact, many researchers argue that it is communication that is crucial and that humor makes learning a language easier.

Indispensable imagination

Imagination plays a vital role in detecting incongruity. She helps children see things from a different perspective, take on social roles they might not otherwise have taken on, and even pretend their noses have come off their bodies.

The imagination begins to manifest in children around twelve to eighteen months old. Interestingly, this corresponds to the time when children begin to attempt to copy their parents' jokes, which allows them to forge their own style of humor. In fact, as young as seven months old, babies can imitate behaviors that make them laugh, such as facial expressions they find funny, or hide-and-seek gestures.

It is important that the child has developed his imagination to be able to invent his own jokes. It starts around the age of two, with jokes based on objects, like putting underwear on your head, or more conceptual, like saying that "the pig goes 'moo'".

When they make jokes, children often take inspiration from what they are learning. This is important because it helps them to familiarize themselves with the rules of social life. So my son often jokes that his friend Lilly "pooped on the floor." This is because potty training is central to his current life. Laughing at these rituals is a great way to make them your own and tame the emotions that accompany them - especially when it comes to accidents.

Celebrate humor through daily jokes

2020-08-09T13:36:00.004+05:00

Celebrate humor through daily jokes

It’s impossible to get rid of humor, it plays such an essential role in our lives. Humor was for a long time hated by psychologists, they saw it as a source of contempt, a way of being superior to others or a defense tactic to avoid displaying true feelings.

In an article published in The Conversation magazine, a professor of cognitive psychology explains how humor is beneficial for health. Janet Gibson reveals the benefits for mental activity. Getting those around you to laugh helps distribute well-being around you, a few moments of laughing every day makes it easier to bring people together and reduces stress. Nothing like a good bad joke to make the gang laugh.

Writing jokes is an art

Writing jokes calls on the cognitive abilities of the brain. In fact, from writing to understanding the joke of the day, there are three distinct stages. First, you imagine the unfolding of the uncle's joke, then you have to understand the incongruity and finally, make the connection between the initial situation which is not funny and the humor during the fall. Sometimes jokes don't make you laugh. They can have a sexist or racist side. In addition, you have to be able to analyze the context and eliminate anything that is not funny. Here, the Beep Beep and Coyote cartoon looks violent. But if you eliminate the sudden atrocities, forgetting the tragic side of the experiences, you discover his humor.

Older people, due to weakened cognitive abilities due to age, cannot appreciate humor to the same extent as young people. According to a 2013 literary review, Gil Green-gross says older people don't often appreciate humor as well as younger people. On the other hand, the decline in cognitive abilities reduces their ability to write jokes, a tough exercise that requires good frontal lobe exercise. This University of New Mexico professor publishes a study in which older people scored poorly on cognitive tests and had less humor.

Humor is used in therapy to get the individual to heal quickly. This is what Janet Gibson discovered through experiences with her team. During the experiment, it involved analyzing the subjects' results to determine their humor. Intermediate results showed that people who enjoyed humor focused more on the good things in their lives.

Humor therapy

Daily jokes and various funny words have immense therapeutic benefits. They make it possible to increase life expectancy, to resist cases of injustice, to express unacceptable emotions, to tell unmentionable truths, to relativize, to be less alarmed ... A joke which finds echo in the public is a real success. It is a moment of indescribable ecstasy. Using a combination of words and phrases, the joke of the day entertains the audience and reinforces the pride of the creator. He has managed to tame censorship, to go beyond the rules of logic. The feeling is even more vocal when one manages to relax a gloomy or depressing situation. In addition to a feeling of intense well-being that runs through the body, you find that you are smarter. Another benefit is that the individual who manages to make a crowd laugh conquers and gets his message across. It is for this reason that in the United States, business leaders and politicians most often start their speeches with funny stories.

Humor de-stresses and releases energies

Any dire situation can be turned into a source of humor. While an ash cloud made the European skies impractical, puns and short jokes, funny or not, emerged everywhere on the web and in discussions between friends. "I've always known that atomic clouds are less clever than volcanic clouds: they have the audacity to cross the borders of France" ... This version of humor shows us the cathartic side of jokes. One word and the tensions drop. Jewish jokes are the best portrayal of anti-depressive humor aimed at making fun that could bring us down. It is based on self-mockery, and leads us to laugh at the cruelty of life, of ourselves, by listing all the whining of the enemy: the Jews killed the son of God, think only of money, steal, are dirty.

Considering the central idea set out in Le Mot d´ esprit and its relations with the unconscious written by Freud, humor, as much as dreams, frees the deepest impulses, without however moving the conscience. It is a clean way of expression that is not

Some nice jokes

Joke.1

What does a rooster say to court a hen?

You have beautiful eggs, you know?

Joke.2

What is black and white and that bounces?

A penguin on a trampoline.

Joke.3

Monsieur and Madame Onlé have a daughter. What is her name ?

Married

Joke.4

A geek is never bored ...

It File ...

Joke.5

What is the most generous animal?

The foal, because when there is one, there is another.

Joke.6

Two angels discuss: - What will the weather be like tomorrow?

Cloudy.

Ah so much the better, we can sit down!

Joke.7

Melon and Melèche play billiards.

Melon arranges the balls and Melèche the tail.

Joke.8

Monsieur and Madame Rivatoutalure have a daughter. What is her name ?

Elsa

Joke.9

Mr. and Mrs. Aipipihauli have a son. What's his name ?

Jeff

Joke.10

Monsieur and Madame Hénaitte have a daughter.

What is her name ?

Claire

Joke.11

Left buttock to right buttock:

Have you seen the beautiful brunette who just passed by?

Joke.12

Monsieur and Madame Ahapeulé have a daughter.

What is her name ?

Kim

Joke.13

Mr. and Mrs. Timable have a daughter. What is her name ?

Ines

Joke.14

Why do men love women who wear leather?

Because it smells like a new car.

Joke.15

Doctor, I think I need glasses.

Certainly yes. This is a bank here.

Jokes about politics

2020-08-08T12:44:00.001+05:00

Jokes about politics

Joke.1

A man dies then finds himself facing Saint Peter. The latter said to him

- I welcome you to the gate of paradise.

Dubitative, the man sees clocks located behind St Pierre.

Why are there St Peter's clocks?

It's simple my boy. As soon as a person is born, a clock appears, and as soon as he says or does something stupid, the hands start to turn.

Oh good, and where is Sarkozy's?

She's in my room, I use her as a fan.

Joke.2

Donald Trump consults a clairvoyant: The very concentrated clairvoyant closes her eyes and says to her:

- I see you passing in a big avenue, in a car, the open roof, the people in jubilation.

Trump smiles and asks him:

- So the crowd is happy?

- Yes like never.

- What about the people running after the car?

- Yes, around the car, like crazy. The police are struggling to find their way.

- People carrying flags?

- Yes, flags and banners of America with words of hope and a better future.

- Really ? And the people are screaming, singing?

- Yes people are shouting phrases of hope: "Oh! Now everything will be better !!!"

- And me, how do I react to all this?

- I can't see it.

- Why ?

- The coffin is closed.

Joke.3

On a beautiful summer morning, Soviet No. 1 opens his office window. The sun rises radiant on the roofs of Moscow and the N ° 1 gives him joyfully:

- Hello, Comrade Sun!

So the sun respectfully:

- Hello, Comrade Secretary General of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, President of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet, Marshal of the Soviet Union!

Happy and flattered, N ° 1 settles down at his desk, immerses himself in files, receives ambassadors and senior officials, etc. At noon, N ° 1 salutes the sun again at its Zenith:

- Hello Comrade Soleil!

- Hello, Comrade Secretary General of the C. C. du P. C. U. S., President of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet, Marshal of the Soviet Union!

The very happy N ° 1 eats lunch, takes a nap, immerses himself in files, receives ministers and ambassadors, etc. Evening at sunset in all its splendor:

- Good evening, Comrade Soleil!

- Fuck you, big ass, I just went West!

Joke.4

The pen has just died and he presents himself at the gate of heaven:

- Are you kidding? Saint Peter said to him. You claim to enter paradise? But get the hell out of here, miserable! Go, ouste, to hell!

The next day, Saint Peter is awakened by a hubbub at the gate of paradise. He opens and comes face to face with a crowd of demons, damned and imps ...

- But what are you doing here? Does he exclaim? Why are you not in hell?

- We're coming to seek asylum! Explains a devil. We left hell, while we could still do it!

Joke.5

The new French unit of measure. Un are = 100 m²

A guaymare = 600 m²

Joke.6

It is a presidential candidate who begins his campaign and decides to start with a tour of retirement homes.

He arrives in the park of one of those charming houses where one abandons his parents and grandparents in the name of the most elementary Malthusian, and launches into a great session of handshakes. And he arrives in front of a very shabby little granny, to whom he waves in front of photographers who passed by chance, and to whom he says:

- Are you okay ma'am? Are you well taken care of here?

- Yes yes, no problem, my good sir. Everything is fine...

- And you know who I am?

- No, but do like me, go to the reception desk, they will tell you ...

Joke.7

Ideas

- I don't vote people, I vote ideas! - How about I give you a million euros? - Well, I would vote for anyone, because the idea is not that bad

Joke.8

Funeral

A local politician died and a friend sought funds for his funeral. A woman was invited to donate ten euros. "Ten euros ?" she says. "You only need ten euros to bury a politician? Here is a hundred euros: bury 10!"

Joke.9

Brains

A man walks into a brain dealer and says, "Why are you selling Albert Einstein's brain for less than Donald Trump's?" The merchant replies: "Because Donald Trump's has never been used."

Joke.10

Doctor

François Hollande consults his doctor: - Doctor, I have mental diarrhea. - What do you mean ? - Every time I have an idea, it's crap!

Jokes about lawyers

2020-08-07T14:08:00.003+05:00

Jokes about lawyers

Joke.1

What does a lawyer eat for breakfast?

Avocado toast.

Joke.2

What does a lawyer use for contraception?

Her personality.

Joke.3

What's the one thing the lawyers haven't stolen?

Their reputation.

Joke.4

Have you heard that they've just released a new doll called "Divorced Barbie"?

Yes, it comes with half of Ken's belongings.

Joke.5

Where can you find a great advocate in winter?

Haute-Savocatie

Joke.6

Where can I find a GOOD lawyer?

At the cemetery...

Joke.7

What do advocates and semen have in common?

One in 50 million has a chance to become a human being!

Joke.8

Why don't sharks attack advocates?

Professional courtesy

Joke.9

Why does Italy have the most lawyers in Europe and Russia has Chernobyl?

Russia got the first choice.

Joke.10

What do you throw at a drowning lawyer?

His partners.

Joke.11

What do you call a person with poor intelligence?

A lawyer.

Joke.12

What do you call a person with a little more intelligence?

A judge.

Joke.13

Job Application

Three people apply for the same job. One is a mathematician, statistician and lawyer. The interview committee calls the mathematician first. They ask " what would be the total sum of 500+500?" The mathematician, without hesitation, says "1000". The committee thanks him and calls the statistician. When the statistic comes up, they ask the same question. The statistic reflects the question for a while and then answers "1000 ... I am 95% sure". He is also grateful for his time and sent on his way. When the lawyer enters the room, he is asked the same question: "What is 500 plus 500?" The lawyer replies: "What do you want?" They hire the lawyer.

Joke.14

Heaven

Both the priest and the lawyer went into the paradise.They were welcomed at the gate by Saint-Pierre, who told them that he would give them transportation to get around. He gave the lawyer a large white limousine. The priest received a bicycle. The priest said "Wait a minute" you gave the lawyer a limousine and a bicycle to me. Why is that? ”Saint Peter replied:“ We have many priests in heaven, but this is the first time that a lawyer has come to heaven.

Joke.15

Receptionist

A man calls a law firm and says, "I want to talk to my lawyer." The receptionist replies: "I'm sorry, but he passed away last week". The next day the phone rings again and the same guy asks the same question. The receptionist replies: "It's like I told you, 'he passed away last week". Two days later the guy calls again and asks to speak to his lawyer. At this point the receptionist is bored and replied: "I keep telling you that your lawyer passed away last week. Why don't you stop calling" ... The guy answers: "Because it makes me happy to hear you say it."

Joke.16

1. What if the sponsor was a lawyer?

An incomprehensible offer to understand.

Joke.17

2. Why do we bury advocates deeper than others?

Because we know that deep down, they are good guys

Joke.18

3. What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 60?

Mister the judge.

Joke.19

4. What is the difference between a tick and an advocate?

The tick leaves when you die

Joke.20

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One who climbs the ladder, one who shakes it and one who sues the maker.

Joke.21

7. What do you say when you see 25 lawyers embedded in cement up to their necks?

"Flute, cement is missing!" "

Joke.22

8. What is the difference between an honest lawyer and Santa Claus?

Santa Claus exists, my little one.

Joke.23

10. How do you know if a lawyer is lying?

Her lips move.

Joke.24

He is the son of a lawyer who asks his father:

"Father is it true that advocates always answer with a question?" "

" Who told you that? "

Joke.25

What is the difference between a mathematician, a tax expert and a lawyer who is asked how much is 2 + 2?

The mathematician takes his calculator and after several calculations answers "4".

The tax specialist takes the Tax Law and after several complex deductions answers "4".

The lawyer closes the door, closes the windows, rolls down the blinds, sees if his phone is bugged and answers, "How much do you want that to be?"

Joke.26

The lawyer is the poorest in the village when he is the only lawyer in town.

Add a second lawyer, and they become the two richest in the village!

Joke.27

A guy is on trial in correctional custody because he is accused of stealing a BMW. After the lawyer has pleaded, the judge decides to acquit the guy, and he leaves the court free. The next day, the same guy represents himself before the judge and tells him:

Your honor, I would like to file a complaint against this rascal lawyer!

Why, then? He got you an acquittal though ?! Why do you want him arrested?

Is that, I did not have enough money to pay him ... so he left with the car that I had stolen.

FunGala

How To Write A Good Joke

How To Write A Good Joke

Humor = drama + time

Learn how to write first funny joke

The steps to write a funny joke

Make you laugh with humor

Fortunately, laughter is contagious.

Keep the joke in mind

The basics of the joker

Timing:

Serious:

Newest Jokes

Newest Jokes

It's a kind of funny story

The Unfinished Symphony

Mister President,

Dentist Jokes

Dentist Jokes

Tell me a dentist joke

Dentist Joke

The Scotsman and the Dentist

Marriage Jokes

Marriage Jokes

2.Prayer

3.Nice gift

4.Valentine's Day

5.Sales

6.Double penalty

7.To life, to death

8.Loving husband

9.Error to rectify

10. 10.A couple celebrates their 30th wedding anniversary

- The bride is not stupid, she comes home with an old man ... and she comes out with a young ...

Her: - Come on my love! Like before ! Go wild!

Him: - Ouiiiii!

She: - Please! Do not be shy !

Him: - Oouiiii!

She: - Show me that you are always my man!

Him: - Yes, ouiiii!

The woman no longer with the excitement tears off in turn her bra, her panties and throws herself on her husband.

Her: - I want you to tell me dirty things!

Him: - Uhh ... The kitchen, the bathroom, the living room, the toilets

11.Not so stupid

12.Compromising earring

13.Forced marriage

14.Child's vision

15.My girl

Clever jokes for kids to tell

Clever Jokes For Kids

Tell me a joke of the day

TELL ME A JOKE OF THE DAY

Tell me a Joke of the day every morning for laughs -humor

Knowing how to joke, knowing how to make people laugh. Often we want to know how to tell a good joke for our friends. A joke does not lead to anything, does not imply anything, but only stays in the brain of the same people! Laughing feels good and to laugh you already have to feel good.

Joke of the day

Joke Of The Day

Hmorous Quotes

Humorous Quotes

Here is a big list of humorous quotes:

Funny Stories

Funny Stories

1. I had a vasectomy to keep my wife from getting pregnant.

2."Talking Dog For Sale".

3.The dog who does karate

4. A guy sits in a movie theater and notices that the man in front of him has brought his dog with him.

5. A German, a Japanese and a chti sit naked in a sauna

Good Humor

Good humor

The art of joke

Here is the list of some good humor jokes:1. Paradise

2.Three old women are walking.

4.Dinner

5.Three old people

6.Blonde

7.What is the difference between an accident and a disaster?

8. A Drunk Guy

9.The action takes place in 2015

10. Excavations

11.Before marriage:

12. A lady bought a wardrobe

Here is the list of some good humor jokes:
1. Paradise