A Day In The Life

Creed Bratton's song and a wrap-up of "The Office" finale

2013-05-17T14:12:00.000-05:00

If there was one network sitcom that defined the past decade or so, for me it was "The Office". I don't know that I ever missed an episode of the uncomfortable at times workplace comedy on NBC. As far as cultural relevance of the series, it ushered in an acceptability of laughtrack-free and single camera sitcoms. It was a series whose comedy made you think. No longer were you pushed by recorded laughter to laugh at moments whom producers deemed laugh-worthy. Its brand of comedy was subtle at times and over-the-top zany at others. It felt like "The Office" could have actually been filmed in a mundane American workplace because much of the dialog and antics taking place during the show simply felt real.

The characters, too, from "The Office" felt genuine. They had layers just like real people do. Dwight Schrute was a bizarre man who was genuinely good at his job and, as the finale last night showed, he was the best manager that Dunder-Mifflin could have ever hoped for.

Pam Beesley was the receptionist-come-sales rep with a heart of gold. Her goals in life were simple and it seemed that she lived them out on the screen. She found the love of her life in co-worker Jim Halpert after one of the longest but most heartfelt courtships ever played out on television.

Andy Bernard, who joined the series in the third season, was the inept and awkward office worker who was simply searching for approval. He was never good enough for his father and he was a flat-out terrible manager of Dunder-Mifflin's Scranton, PA branch once that title was bestowed upon him. It seems that only after he burned his bridges to live out his dream and even fail at that did he truly find himself and find that approval, in former warehouse worker Darryl of all people, and find his way in life.

But "The Office" was about an expansive cast of supporting characters as well. Kevin, Oscar, Phyllis, Angela, Erin, Ryan, Stanley, Kelly and, of course, Creed, who managed to accent of even steal every scene.

It was only fitting, then, that Creed Bratton played a pivotal part in the emotional song-filled sendoff at the Dunder-Mifflin offices. Playing on his real singer/songwriter past as a member of 1960s group 'The Grass Roots', he played a song during what could possibly be the best moments of the entire finale episode of NBC's "The Office".

While "The Office" has officially ridden off into the sunset and ended its run as NBC's highest-rated sitcom of the moment, "The Office" is one of the few sitcoms which will stand the test of time, in my opinion at least, because it was groundbreaking. It re-invented comedies on television and it had a hell of a run even if it did have plenty of hills and valleys in its nine seasons. One thing is for sure, it will be missed.

This is why family and friends are important

2013-05-15T16:03:00.002-05:00

I bill myself as a bit of a hermit at times. Just like everyone else, I enjoy some solitude. Whether that means toiling away in silence in my ever-expanding garden or simply going for a run, I like to get away. But int he end I always return to life. I have great friends, a great family and tons of work acquaintances with whom I interact with, converse and joke with every day.

It really dawned on me last night as I spoke with my mom on the phone about a cousin of her's who had died in a car accident late last week. The sheriff of the Iowa county he lived in had contacted my mom from a Christmas card (obviously tucked away in the envelope it was sent in) his department found after his death. My mom's cousin had one lone friend who he had coffee with every day. He was a bachelor whose parents had passed many years ago. His only sister died when she was a mere twenty years old. He had no living aunts or uncles, only a scattering of cousins who obviously lived far away and only kept in touch infrequently. That's where my mom comes in to play.

Outside of a neighbor of my mom's cousin who was leasing his farm, the sheriff's department had literally no paper trail of who to contact following his death. If my mom, ever the greeting card purchaser, hadn't sent Christmas cards to each and every one of her close, distant and very distant relations which my parents have tracked down in the past two-plus decades, this cousin of her's may not have even had one single relative attend his funeral -- not to mention the planning of it.

Her cousin, apparently a great planner at least, had more than enough money saved away which will pay for his funeral and burial or cremation. According to my mom, it's an admittedly odd role to be playing for someone whom she has only met once or twice but even with the objections of her brother, she is doing what she knows is right for a man she barely knew who had nobody else.

As I age, I hope to be at least half as selfless as my mom is. Both of my parents are kind givers who are always to help at the drop of a hat. This latest effort of helping leaves them driving half-way through Iowa, likely twice, from their southern Minnesota farm during what is already a late planting season to help what many would consider to be a stranger just to give this man a dignified send-off. That makes them heroes in my book.

If there is a lesson to be learned here it's to keep your family and friends close because you never know what kind of unimaginable events could come your way and that network will always be have someone in it who is willing to help.

CBS FALL 2013-2014 SCHEDULE

2013-05-15T11:08:00.001-05:00

The last of the big four networks, CBS, has announced their fall 2013-2014 schedule. Surprisingly, there a decent number of changes to their strong-performing schedule. Gone from Mondays is 'Hawaii 5-0' which finds a new home on Friday. Missing, too, from Monday and being held as a replacement series is 'Mike and Molly'. Thursdays best performing drama, 'Person of Interest' on CBS finds a new home in the troubled 10 PM ET Tuesday slot. Wednesday remains unchanged while Thursday sees an expanded two-hour comedy block with two new sitcoms -- 'The Millers' starring Will Arnett and 'The Crazy Ones' -- which will likely crush any momentum NBC has with their mostly new Thursday line-up. Friday's one change was mentioned earlier with the relocation of 'Hawaii 5-0' while Saturday and Sunday remain unchanged. This is the type of schedule that will make CBS the number one network again for 2013-2014.

CBS FALL 2013-2014 SCHEDULE
(New programs in UPPER CASE; NT=New Time)

MONDAY
8-8:30 PM – How I Met Your Mother
8:30-9 PM – WE ARE MEN
9-9:30 PM – 2 Broke Girls
9:30-10 PM – MOM
10-11 PM – HOSTAGES / INTELLIGENCE (Midseason)

TUESDAY
8-9 PM – NCIS
9-10 PM – NCIS: Los Angeles
10-11 PM – Person Of Interest (NT)

WEDNESDAY
8-9 PM – Survivor
9-10 PM – Criminal Minds
10-11 – CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

THURSDAY
8-8:30 PM – The Big Bang Theory
8:30-9 PM – THE MILLERS
9-9:30 PM – THE CRAZY ONES
9:30-10 PM – Two And A Half Men (NT)
10-11 PM – Elementary

FRIDAY
8-9 PM – Undercover Boss
9-10 PM – Hawaii Five-0 (NT)
10-11 PM – Blue Bloods

SATURDAY
8-8:30 PM – COMEDYTIME SATURDAY
8:30-9 PM – COMEDYTIME SATURDAY
9-10 PM – Crimetime Saturday
10-11 PM – 48 Hours

SUNDAY
7-8 PM – 60 Minutes
8-9 PM – The Amazing Race
9-10 PM – The Good Wife
10-11 PM – The Mentalist

ABC FALL 2013-2014 SCHEDULE

2013-05-14T12:06:00.002-05:00

ABC is truly taking some chances for the 2013-2014 television season. America's third-ranked network is finally dialing back 'Dancing With The Stars' to one night thus freeing up Tuesday night which the network will aim to rebuild with an entirely new slate of shows including two dramas and two comedies.

Two big showcases for ABC are the Rebel Wilson-starring 'Super Fun Night' getting the post-'Modern Family' slot on Wednesdays and the 'Once Upon a Time' spinoff 'Once Upon A Time in Wonderland' landing in the rather troubled 8 PM (ET) Thursday night slot leading in to 'Grey's Anatomy'.

ABC is also talking about two half-seasons for some of their dramas (12 episodes in the fall, 12 in the early spring) with limited-run series bridging the gap. Absent from the line-up (and likely held back as a replacement) is sitcom 'Suburgatory'. ABC is also holding on to a whole host of rookie dramas and comedies for midseason debuts or replacements as new series surely end in cancellation.

ABC FALL 2013-2014 SCHEDULE
(New programs in UPPER CASE; all times ET/PT)

MONDAY
8 PM – Dancing With The Stars
10 PM – Castle

TUESDAY
8 PM – MARVEL’S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D.
9 PM – THE GOLDBERGS
9:30 PM – TROPHY WIFE
10 PM – LUCKY 7

WEDNESDAY
8 PM – The Middle
8:30 PM – BACK IN THE GAME
9 PM – Modern Family
9:30 PM – SUPER FUN NIGHT
10 PM – Nashville

THURSDAY
8 PM – ONCE UPON A TIME IN WONDERLAND
9 PM – Grey’s Anatomy
10 PM – Scandal

FRIDAY
8 PM – Last Man Standing
8:30 PM – The Neighbors
9 PM – Shark Tank
10 PM – 20/20

SATURDAY
8 PM – Saturday Night College Football
SUNDAY
7 PM – America’s Funniest Home Videos
8 PM – Once Upon A Time
9 PM – Revenge
10 PM – BETRAYAL

FOX 2013-2014 fall new series TV previews

2013-05-13T16:44:00.004-05:00

Almost Human — Drama

Produced by Bonanza Productions in association with Bad Robot Productions and Warner Bros. Television. From writer/executive producer JH Wyman, executive producers JJ Abrams and Bryan Burk, co-executive producer/director Brad Anderson and co-executive producers Kathy Lingg and Reid Shane:
Brooklyn Nine-Nine — Comedy Produced by Universal Television and 3 Arts Entertainment. From writers/executive producers Dan Goor and Michael Schur and executive producer David Miner: Dads — Comedy Produced by 20th Century Fox Television and Fuzzy Door Productions. From writers/executive producers Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild and executive producer Seth MacFarlane: Enlisted — Comedy Produced by 20th Century Fox Television. From writer/executive producer Kevin Biegel and executive producer Mike Royce: Rake — Drama Produced by Fedora Entertainment and Essential Media & Entertainment in association with Sony Pictures Television. From writer/executive producer Peter Duncan, executive producers Peter Tolan, Michael Wimer, Richard Roxburgh and Ian Collie, director/executive producer Sam Raimi and co-executive producers Gret Kinnear and Leslie Tolan: Sleepy Hollow — Drama Produced by K/O Paper Products in association with 20th Century Fox Television. From writers/executive producers Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, director/executive producer Len Wiseman, writer/supervising producer Phillip Iscove and executive producer Heather Kadin: Us & Them — Comedy Produced by Sony Pictures Television, BBC Worldwide Productions and Baby Cow Productions. From writer/executive producer David J. Rosen and executive producers Jane Tranter, Julie Gardner, James Corden, Ruth Jones, Steve Coogan and Henry Normal:

FOX 2013-2014 television schedule

2013-05-13T12:05:00.003-05:00

Coming off of a lackluster season with only one legitimate hit ('The Following'), FOX is going big with their typical and complicated split-season schedule with shows jumping nights and staggered launch dates due to World Series obligations. Gone, essentially, is the first half of their two-hour Tuesday comedy block. Rookie 'Ben & Kate' was canceled earlier this year and the coasting towards syndication 'Raising Hope' lands on Fridays. In their place are newcomers 'Dads' and the promising cop comedy starring Andy Samberg 'Brooklyn Nine Nine'. If 'Brooklyn Nine Nine' can live up to its promise as a zany and slapstick comedy, it could do wonders for the entire night as FOX will begin the season without comedy competition from inferior NBC.

The only other standout, to me, is the J.J. Abrams-created 'Almost Human'. Set 35 years in the future with comps paired with human-like cyborgs, the futuristic police procedural has an interesting premise and if acted and written properly, it could draw a dedicated audience.

Finally, look for American Idol to enter its final season. With an entirely new judging panel, gaining new audience members watching the drawn out, filler-laden singing competition will be a battle. A run of over a decade is plenty.

MONDAY
8:00-9:00 PM BONES (fall) / ALMOST HUMAN (new; late fall)
9:00-10:00 PM SLEEPY HOLLOW (new; fall) / THE FOLLOWING (midseason)

TUESDAY
8:00-8:30 PM DADS (new)
8:30-9:00 PM BROOKLYN NINE-NINE (new)
9:00-9:30 PM NEW GIRL
9:30-10:00 PM THE MINDY PROJECT

WEDNESDAY
8:00-10:00 PM THE X FACTOR (fall) / AMERICAN IDOL (midseason)

THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 PM THE X FACTOR Results (fall) / AMERICAN IDOL Results (midseason)
9:00-10:00 PM GLEE (fall) / RAKE (new; midseason)

FRIDAY
8:00-9:00 PM JUNIOR MASTERCHEF (wt) (new; fall)
9:00-10:00 PM SLEEPY HOLLOW encores (fall)
Late Fall:
8:00-9:00 PM BONES (late fall)
9:00-9:30 PM RAISING HOPE (late fall)
9:30-10:00 PM ENLISTED (new; late fall)

SATURDAY
7:00-10:30 PM FOX SPORTS SATURDAY
11:00 PM-12:30 AM ANIMATION DOMINATION HIGH-DEF

SUNDAY
7:00-7:30 PM NFL Game (fall)
7:30-8:00 PM THE OT (fall)
8:00-8:30 PM THE SIMPSONS
8:30-9:00 PM BOB'S BURGERS
9:00-9:30 PM FAMILY GUY
9:30-10:00 PM AMERICAN DAD
Scheduling to be announced for the following new series slated for midseason: GANG RELATED (new), SURVIVING JACK (new), US & THEM (new) and MURDER POLICE (new).

NBC new show video trailers

2013-05-13T10:32:00.001-05:00

NBC’s New Show Trailers: ‘Dracula’, ‘Ironside’, ‘Michael J Fox’, ‘Sean Saves The World’, ‘Welcome To The Family’, 'The Blacklist'

While the key art for the line-up of new NBC comedies looks straight-up God-awful and the preview for 'Michael J Fox' is simply dreadful, I have to wonder mostly why NBC dumped 'The New Normal' only to replace it a year later with a somewhat similarly-themed 'Sean Saves The World'. 'Dracula' looks to be a decent niche-type drama along the vein of FOX's now-canceled 'Fringe' in size of audience appeal and could very well be a showpiece for what the networks can do in terms of matching the quality of cable dramas like 'Mad Men' and 'The Walking Dead'. The rest of the dramas look to be rather bland as NBC seems to be holding their best drama offerings ('Crisis' and 'After Hours') for midseason or on standby for canceled programs. On the comedy side, again, I am more intrigued by a couple who are being re-tooled for midseason possibilities -- 'Brenda Forever' (starring 'The Office's Ellie Kemper) and 'Assistance' starring Krysten Ritter from ABC's canceled 'Don't Trust The Bitch in Apartment 23'. At least midseason comedy 'About A Boy' starring David Walton shows promise. 2013-14 looks to be yet another rebuilding year for NBC with one or two legitimate drama hits and another one or two comedy hits while 'Revolution' will ride out its move to Wednesdays with sinking ratings and be canceled by the end of the upcoming season.

NBC 2013-2014 fall schedule

2013-05-13T10:12:00.002-05:00

First out of the gate to announce their Fall 2013 television schedule is NBC. Still heavy on the comedies but with fewer night scheduled than the preliminary schedule for 2012 showed, NBC cleaned house on the majority of their 2012-13 comedy line-up and axed Whitney, Guys With Kids, Go On, The New Normal, 1600 Penn as well as this year being the final season for veterans 30 Rock and The Office. Absent, for the time being, from the 2013-14 NBC television schedule are veteran Celebrity Apprentice, cheap-to-make Betty White's Off Their Rockers, critical darling and fan fave Community and recent critical fave Hannibal whose fate is still undecided. Community, though, was officially picked up for 13 episodes and seems to be ready to play the part of utility guy and standing by to plug a hole for one of the sure-to-be-canceled sitcoms.

All told, NBC is slowly making some progress but placing Revolution in the first hour of primetime seems to be a waste when a more fitting player would be family drama Parenthood which seems to be wasted in the final hour of primetime on Thursday. Also baffling is the inclusion of The Biggest Loser getting a slot after the one-hour Tuesday edition of The Voice. A mass-appeal drama would be a great fit there in the fall but The Biggest Loser *has* to be nearing its end.

Monday:
8 The Voice
10 The Blacklist (James Spader as a former fugitive turned FBI agent)

Tuesday:
Fall
8, The Voice
9, The Biggest Loser
10, Chicago Fire
Midseason
8, The Voice
9, About A Boy (Based on the movie)
9:30, The Family Guide (A blind father and a family divorce as seen through the eyes of a family member)
10, Chicago Fire

Wednesday:
8, Revolution (New Night)
9, Law & Order: SVU
10, Ironside (reboot of the 1967-75 series with Blair Underwood as the wheelchair-bound detective)

Thursday:
8, Parks and Recreation
8:30, Welcome to the Family (Culture clashes among a interracial family)
9, Sean Saves the World (Sean Hayes returns to TV as a single Gay dad with Linda "Alice" Lavin playing his mother)
9:30, The Michael J. Fox Show (Fox returns as a TV newsman with Parkinson's)
10, Parenthood (New Night)

Friday:
Fall
8, Dateline NBC
9, Grimm
10, Dracula (Jonathan Rhys-Meyers in an all new twist on the Bram Stoker classic)
Midseason
8, Dateline NBC
9, Grimm
10, Crossbones (John Malkovich as the infamous pirate Blackbeard)

Saturday:
Drama repeats

Sunday:
Fall
7, Football Night in America
8, Sunday Night Football
Midseason
7, Dateline NBC
8, American Dream Builders (Designers are given the chance to show off their plans in front of host Nate Berkus)
9, Believe (A young girl with special gifts is being protected by a wrongfully convicted inmate)
10, Crisis (A national crisis erupts when a school bus is taken hostage and the people involved are thrust into the conspiracy involving it)

Also picked up
Chicago PD (Spin-off from Chicago Fire, this time focusing on the men and women of Chicago's finest)
The Night Shift (Drama set in a San Antonio Hospital)
Undateable (A group of guys are getting challenged in the world of dating by a slacker)
Food Fighters (Reality competition that pits amateur cooks against experienced chefs)
The Second Million Dollar Quiz (Game show that will take 12 days, a gigantic structure and at-home interaction to win $10 million)

Topanga Takes It Off for Maxim photoshoot

2013-05-01T16:36:00.002-05:00

Former child star Danielle Fishel, who became famous as "Topanga" in the '90s ABC sitcom Boy Meets World and will reprise the role for the upcoming ABC Family spin-off Girl Meets World, exposes her bombshell side on the cover of Maxim's April issue.

Fishel, 31, is shown wearing an open cardigan sweater -- and almost nothing underneath -- while clutching an old-school telephone. In a photo spread inside the issue, the actress vacuums the floor in a state of undress.

Will CBS vanish from the airwaves?

2013-05-01T11:14:00.000-05:00

CBS head honcho Les Moonves likes to make a good threat but his latest -- to pull CBS from the free

To think that the biggest of the big four television networks could vanish from the airwaves to become a cable-only channel is, for lack of a better word, insane. Insane too, though, is Aereo's business plan of essentially hijacking a free over-the-air television signal (in a fair number of major metropolitan areas) and re-transmitting those signals to internet connected antennas which people then pay a fee to receive.

The biggest problem I have with Aereo's business model is that they are profiting from something which is free. Sure, some would claim that news aggregation websites already do this but they typically only use a brief snippet of the news item in question and direct readers to the full article on its originating website. Aereo, though, stands to make a decent profit by selling something they receive for free. This alone makes Aereo worse than cable companies because at least cable companies pay a retransmission fee to local affiliates and/or television networks to be able to sell subscription packages to users.

I find it hard to believe that Aereo will gain much traction, though. Yes, cable television rates are insane and show no sign of becoming less expensive... ever but Aereo is only another, cheaper and immoral alternative.

Rather than fight Aereo, I'd be encouraged if the big four television networks would work with Aereo to give television viewers who are unable to use a rooftop antenna, rabbit ears, satellite or cable TV an alternative to cable and satellite television. I'd love for television networks to embrace technology rather than fight it tooth and nail. Imagine a world where you could freely, without fear of your ISP disconnecting you, download a torrent of a television show you already have the ability to watch live but were unable to do so due to other conflicts. I would even tolerate a periodic lower third ad embedded in the video because as I well know, advertising pays the bills. Embrace more product placement. I know that shows like Bones and others already do this (even to the point of writing in rather clumsy statements promoting the advertiser).

The biggest uproar, though, will likely be from local affiliates who count on the advertising revenue from their local programmign to keep their local news-gathering operations afloat. Once they are left with fewer eyeballs, it will become increasingly difficult to sell advertising time and cuts will have to be made. It only snowballs from there until the local news operations wither up and eventually die. While we can argue all day that local television news is a dying breed like newspapers and radio, all things local effect us too and without knowing about that information, we are simply blind.
(think using a rooftop antenna) airwaves if Aereo's way of doing business isn't struck down as illegal is ridiculous.

Governor Dayton heckled in Shakopee

2013-04-30T14:13:00.000-05:00

Minnesota Governor Mark Dayton visited Shakopee Monday night for a town hall meeting where a few people couldn't wait their turn to have a civil discussion and instead mocked, heckled and interrupted Dayton. Rather than rely solely on the Star Tribune's recap of Monday evening's meeting I decided to delve in to the cesspool of the comments section which seemed to contain plenty of additional name-calling and finger-pointing. Maybe those who were acting childish at Monday night's evening had taken to the Strib's comments section to keep the ball rolling.

To be fair, Dayton said plenty of borderline stupid stuff such as lawmakers deserving a pay raise for a job which consumes a whole 1/3 of the year. On the flip side, though, it's rather curious why he was being filmed by a Republican organization in an area which is already strongly Republican. It's entirely possible that Dayton was simply being baited by planted attendees but he also needs to realize that much of society has a general hatred towards our nation's lawmakers -- especially that they vote for their own pay raises while they can't balance the budget or dig our country out of a mounting hole of debt.

I, for one, don't have much faith in anything above the city level of government due to the finger-pointing, name-calling and overall divisiveness that exists once party affiliations are thrown into the mix so childish behavior at any level of government doesn't really surprise me. Maybe lawmakers do actually deserve a pay raise but they definitely shouldn't be allowed to vote on their own pay. I don't get to do that in my line of work, neither should they.

As for the behavior of Shakopee residents, I am leaning towards the analogy of a few bad apples spoiling the whole bunch.

I turned 34 today

2013-04-23T09:42:00.002-05:00

Turning 34 years old isn't much of a landmark in the grand scheme of things. It's not as momentous as turning 40 or 30 and it's definitely not 16 or 21. 34 years old, though, is about half way to reitrement age or at least some crazy dream I have about when it would be logical for me to retire.

Turning 34 years old, though, is a bit of a landmark for me. This year we'll be adding a second child to our family -- that happens in August. December will mark one year since I left the job which have held the longest in my professional career and it will also mark one year for me in a position which I have strived to attain for many years -- a managerial role.

I will also spend the year getting serious about a few things. I dabbled with farmer's markets last year and loved both providing people who are basically my neighbors with fresh, home-grown fruits and vegetables. I also agreed, over a bottle of 2 Gingers Irish Whiskey, to run in a 5K with a friend in October which means I will be spending much of the year building on the training I did with my wife last year as she trained for her first 5K.

Of course I will continue remodeling and repairing my house, my garage and my property in general. I will as always continue to further my photography skills and become more involved in my community because it's a pretty cool town that always comes together and I'm proud to be a part of it.

The winter that wouldn't end in Minnesota

2013-04-22T10:03:00.002-05:00

2012 spoiled us. I remember dragging my patio set out of storage on the first weekend of March and enjoying a grilled meal outside on a Friday evening. Today is about seven full weeks later (plus an additional year) and the temperature has yet to crack 60 degrees. To make matters more frustrating, the forecast for tonight includes 6-10 inches of snow. On top of the 12 or so inches we had late last week. Not to mention the 6 or so inches we accumulated back on April 11th.

To city slickers, snow in April is an inconvenience. They want to, like I did last year, get their patio sets out of storage and fire up the grill. For others, like my parents on their southern Minnesota farm, the seemingly endless winter means lengthy delays to the start of the season. When it snows towards the end of April we can almost be assured that the snow will melt fast but that rapid melt means saturated soil. Not an entirely bad thing being we had a pretty horrible drought last year which left soil parched.

That saturated soil, though, takes a while to dry out and warm up. The continued cool temperatures -- predicted to skyrocket all the way close to a normal 60 degrees for the upcoming weekend -- do far less than sunshine and warm temperatures to dry the soil. Combine that with the lack of warmth and you are left with soggy, cold soil which is far from ready for seeds of any kind. While I am fretting about my burgeoning farmer's market-sized garden plot, my parents are stuck wonderng how many weeks it will be before they are ready to get tractors into their fields.

As of Saturday they were saying that a realistic guess is for the first field work to begin around May 15th. While that may not sound bad to those unfamiliar with life outside the 494/694 loop, a May 15th date is closer to when my parents are normally done planting their crops for the year putting them a full three weeks behind normal. While three weeks doesn't sound too bad to some, it means a growing season that is starting a full three weeks later giving crops three weeks less time to mature and with the continued cool and wet weather, it's a fair guess that this weather will continue much the same for at least a few weeks into what we normally consider to be summer which only puts crops even further behind.

That mess of factors means lower yields due to the shorter growing season. The shorter yields mean more demand in the markets for less product and that means a more competitive marketplace which drives prices higher. Those higher prices mean higher prices for all kinds of food you and I purchase at grocery stores.

Boston Marathon bombing suspect photos

2013-04-17T12:46:00.001-05:00

What is apparently the first collection of rather carefully (at least by an amateur) analyzed images from Monday's Boston Marathon bombing is staggering and creepy at the same time. With dozens of photos from near the finish line of Monday's Boston marathon shows what appears to be at least two, possibly three, suspicious individuals carrying backpacks which seem to match those found to have contained the pressure cooker bombs. Before anyone jumps to conclusions, it seems, based on these photos, that there is at least one caucasian male involved if these photos hold up under further scrutiny.

Bad Pregnant Family Photos

2013-04-16T09:06:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure whether it's bad suggestions from photographers who think they are being unique or that the people posing for the photos are genuinely crazy but the simple fact is that these are flat out bad pregnancy photos.

Yeah you stupid d-bag, you did that to her. YOU are the reason your cheap-looking baby momma is pregnant. It didn't happen from her sitting on a toilet seat.

So the dog played a part in her getting pregnant?

A pregnant woman wrapped in plastic sheeting is supposed to be sexy or beautiful? It's not.

The whole pregnancy thing backfired because it looks like the dad is the pregnant one here in this photo.

So you plan on putting this pregnancy photo of you wearing a clown nose on your fireplace mantle?

This guy has a schoolgirl fetish and he shouldn't (even though his baby momma looks like she could still be in high school)

Just because you own a copy of Photoshop doesn't mean you should use it to add tiny toddler legs to a pregnant woman's body.

Huh, maybe if I had used one of these condom things I'm holding I wouldn't be the size of a house.

Hey, honey, let's compare whose belly is bigger.

Hey, I'm pregnant and I'm planking.

Oh look, this pregnant lady has a baby's face on her belly. Not creepy at all.

Bikinis in a snow storm? Only in Minnesota.

2013-04-12T13:56:00.005-05:00

Yesterday's date was April 11th. Even in Minnesota, that typically means warming weather, greening grass, Tulips growing rapidly and periodic rain showers. Not typical, though, is a rather massive snow storm which blankets most of the state with nearly a foot of snow. Not to get them down are these bikini-clad women in Duluth who made the best of the winter weather yesterday and donned their two-piece bikinis, grabbed a few beers and captured this truly Minnesotan photo.

View the original photo here.

Weird Ebay stuff - Canned Unicorn Meat

2013-04-11T10:57:00.004-05:00

Sure it's fake but for people who have a screwy sense of humor, a can of Unicorn meat is sure to get some laughs. While the can contains absolutely no meat of any kind -- instead a plush but dismembered Unicorn -- there is a pretty damn cool diagram of what the different cuts of Unicorn contain.

The product description is pure awesome:

Unicorns, as we all know, frolic all over the world, pooping rainbows and marshmallows wherever they go. What you don't know is that when unicorns reach the end of their lifespan, they are drawn to County Meath, Ireland. The Sisters at Radiant Farms have dedicated their lives to nursing these elegant creatures through their final days. Taking a cue from the Kobe beef industry, they massage each unicorn's coat with Guinness daily and fatten them on a diet comprised entirely of candy corn. As the unicorn ages, its meat becomes fatty and marbled and the living bone in the horn loses density in a process much like osteoporosis. The horn's outer layer of keratin begins to develop a flavor very similar to candied almonds. Blending the crushed unicorn horn into the meat adds delightful, crispy flavor notes in each bite. We are confident you will find a world of bewilderment in every mouthful of scrumptious unicorn meat.

Unfortunately, due to restrictions on the importation of mythical processed meatstuff, we are unable to bring you Canned Unicorn Meat in the way the Sisters of Radiant Farms intended. When you open your can, you will find one tiny unicorn which has been appropriately sliced into its main cuts of meat. Simply use your Growth Ray to re-embiggen the unicorn before skinning it and processing its flesh. Or if you're lazy, just bring it to your local Mad Scientist-Butcher. He'll know what to do.

Anyhow, the photo below shows the pretty convincing (if you're a sucker) can of Unicorn Meat.

If you want an odd gag gift, the canned unicorn meat can be had here for a mere $14.99

Weird stuff from ebay - Ostrich Nap Pillow

2013-04-10T11:03:00.003-05:00

File it under weird stuff from ebay but this simply bizarre "Cute Ostrich Pillow" is perfect for "Power Naps Anywhere". I guess I can see how it somewhat resembles an Ostrich sticking its head in the sand but wouldn't you only be creeping people out by snugging this odd creation down over your head in preparation for a mid-day nap? Would you even be able to sleep with people around you laughing at how ridiculous you look with a fluffy astronaut helmet on your head?

On the flip side, it only costs $16.98 and is available here (a whopping 316 have been sold as I write this.)

What happened to "The Office"?

2013-04-05T15:01:00.001-05:00

Once a critical darling for NBC and a cornerstone for their rebuilt Thursday night sitcom block entitled "Comedy Night Done Right", the workplace sitcom has overstayed its welcome by at least two years. I didn't always feel that way but the past few new episodes have shown me that it has overstayed its welcome.

It all began slipping even before lead actor Steve Carell left to pursue his film career but with the advance knowledge producers and NBC had about the star's departure, the show should have been allowed to wrap up its run and ride off into the sunset as one of the most groundbreaking comedies of my generation.

At least The Office did usher in (for better or worse depending on who you ask) an era laughtrack-free comedies on network television which allow viewers to decide whether or not something is funny. This was a smarter comedy due to that fact. It was uncomfortable at times and mirrored -- to a certain extent -- real life in that aspect.

But bringing up Ed Helms to the role of boss of Dunder Mifflin's Scranton, Pennsylvania branch was not the right choice. Or maybe it was but his role was poorly written. It's true that he is the anti-Michael Scott (played by Carell) and that a change in tone was necessary to set the show apart from its days with Carell starring but with no strong lead on the show after Carell's departure, it quickly went off the rails. Carell made things uncomfortable because he was a piss-poor boss but showed that he was also a strong salesman and could step up when he needed to. He was incompetent at his job and was manic which made the show uncomfortably funny.

Helms, though, was flaky and incompetent but showed no skill whatsoever at sales making his longevity at Dunder Mifflin and his new role as manager feel forced at best. Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson) or Jim Halpert (John Krasinski) would have been expected but strong choices to be the new manager if the show needed to continue past Carell's departure. Even Creed Bratten would have been fun because it would have been an unexpected choice and his role as an odd and borderline crazy person whose employment anywhere outside of panhandling under a bridge seems entirely implausible. In short, producers of The Office played it too safe by choosing Helms and wasting the year with James Spader in the cast because just like in real life, it is very tough to promote from within.

At least The Office is being put out of its misery this year and while the show still has glimpses of brilliance in its episodes, they are becoming more rare. The finale airs this May on NBC and will be seen by and cared about by few.

Cable television slowly dominating the networks

2013-04-01T15:12:00.001-05:00

Last night on TV, cable television dominated with viewership numbers which broadcast television executives would currently drool over. On History, The Bible delivered 11.7 million viewers while AMC's The Walking Dead (both shows were fnales) delivered 12.4 million total viewers.

On the flip side, the highest rated program on the big 4 networks was 60 Minutes on CBS which drew 10.5 million total viewers and was possibly inflated due to the conclusion of the NCAA's Elite Eight final game.

While numbers over 10 million total viewers seem huge, take a look back a few years to ABC's Lost whose average number of total viewers only slipped below the viewership levels of the above mentioned cable series in the final two seasons of the show. Here in 2013, only American Idol and NCIS eclipses the viewership totals achieved by The Walking Dead and The Bible.

But what do those numbers mean? Is cable television killing the big four networks?

While on the outside it appears that the big four networks are struggling (realistically, only NBC is struggling), they have adapted fairly well. All of the networks have at least one outpost on cable television somewhere so, in some situations, they are essentially competing against themselves for viewers but in the end the are collecting advertiser revenue -- and in the case of cable television subscriber fees too -- from each of their outlets. What has happened is fragmented viewing.

Cable television first conquered, for the most part, the 9 PM central time hour which has always been the home of marquee dramas on the networks. Now cable channels have apparently gained some serious traction on Sunday nights. Saturday nights were already a wasteland on the networks so now the networks must truly step up their game to protect the first two hours of primetime television viewing or risk being equals with, or even losing to, the cable television counterparts.

There will probably be a day when cable television surpasses the big four networks entirely but it will be at least a decade until network viewership levels fall below those on cable. To stave that off, the networks must be open to taking more chances and instead of hoping to find that magical series which chugs along for a decade while never losing viewers they need to realize that a limited series with a solid beginning, middle and endpoint will allow viewers and their limited attention spans to become wrapped up in a series. Cut out the repeats, get away from relying on sweeps months (November, February and May) to dictate when new episodes will play and no more 22-24 episode-long seasons drawn out over the course of nine months. Give more series a chance during those nine months if you insist on a nine month-long season. and start paying attention to what series are being pitched to cable channels. Not everything that works on cable will work on a network but The Walking Dead would have been just as huge on a network. Somebody outside of AMC had to have heard that pitch and passed on it. That person missed out.

Planting potatoes on Good Friday

2013-03-25T10:51:00.002-05:00

For the Catholic church, March 29, 2013 is Good Friday and it's about as early as the holiday and its companion -- Easter -- can land on the modern calendar. Good Friday is also the traditional day to plant seed potatoes in gardens. That won't be happening this year in Minnesota.

This is what my backyard looks like.

Reports say that beneath that blanket of snow lies anywhere from two to four feet of frost. That, along with the fact that the temperature has cracked the forty degree mark about once this month means that nobody will be planting anything outdoors in Minnesota for at least three weeks.

Now the tradition of planting potatoes on Good Friday goes way back to when Protestants (Lutherans, etc.) refused to accept potatoes as they weren't mentioned in the bible and Catholics began planting them on Good Friday as a way for others to accept that the potatoes had been baptized. It's a great form of trickery but it's just not realistic this year.

Don't get me wrong, though. Last year I had potatoes and onions in the ground by Good Friday (which was one week later in 2012) but the month of March is 2012 also saw many days with high temperatures in the 70s and 80s -- something which seems many months away this year.

For now I have my mini greenhouse with well over 200 seedlings growing taller and stronger by the day. That will have to suffice for the next 5-7 weeks until the weather begins to cooperate for us frigid Minnesotans.

The Office Interview- What the Cast Wants From the Set

2013-03-21T13:01:00.002-05:00

With The Office coming to an end in May, the cast of the long-running NBC sitcom including Ed Helms, Rainn Wilson, Craig Robinson, Jenna Fischer and John Krasinski reveals to show staff what mementos they want to keep from the sitcom's set. While not a hit on the level of Seinfeld, The Office and its nine season-long run has eclipsed the lifespan of dozens of other sitcoms on network television.

The 2013 Pope-mobile & other Pope merchandise

2013-03-13T11:05:00.000-05:00

In my continued efforts to prove that I am serious about my desire to be the next Pope of the Catholic Church, I have taken up the task of creating a mock-up af what I think the next Pope-mobile should look like. But let's not make it such an exclusive item. In an effort to expand the reach of the Catholic Church and grow its membership numbers, I think that the new Pope (in this case, ME.) would be wise to create a line of officially licensed Pope-brand merchandise.

The cornerstone of this new Pope merchandise line would be the 2013 Pope-mobile.

Just look at this bitchin' machine. And it's available in five fashionable colors perfect for 2013 and beyond. The door lettering is customizable to your needs, if you were wondering.

But this bad bitch is just the beginning.

Imagine Pope-style trucker hats. Pope-style bath robes. Pope on a rope (yeah, it's a recycled joke) -- perfect for becoming closer to Jesus right there in your shower. Sure, you might feel some of that trusty Catholic guilt when that Pope-on-a-rope brushes across your naughty bits but you'll get over that with the mobile confessional unit which will be roaming the streets of your town every Saturday from 1-5 PM.

Poor spelling samples

2013-03-12T12:45:00.002-05:00

In my line of work, I keep a close eye out for poor spelling and general grammatical errors. I know that nobody is perfect but poor spelling makes you look uneducated but near-perfect spelling makes you feel better about yourself. I snicker at misspelled signs, misspellings in advertisements and the general mess that is Facebook because a life without spellcheck is a sad life indeed.

Below are some excellent examples of misspelled words. Feel free to take a stab at the intended word for each in the comments.

lituring
haveing
manchine

Why I am drawn to gardening, farmer's markets

2013-03-11T16:24:00.003-05:00

Talking plants is probably immensely boring to most people but it's my hobby-turned-small business venture this year. As I dove in to the world of Farmer's Markets midway through last year, I knew little of what to expect. After just a handful of outings, though, I had a pretty good handle on things and decided that 2013 would be the year to jump in to Farmer's Markets full steam ahead.

It began last year as a product of necessity. Sure, we had way too many apples, tomatoes, squash and peppers but the financial aspect of it was what really worked. So with very little investment we set forth to can stuff. Lots of stuff. Apple sauce one night. A huge batch of salsa another night. Our first time canning jam another evening. We had the jars already making the only investment the lids.

To our surprise this stuff sold. We sold plenty of jam. We sold all of the salsa. We sold most of the peppers. We sold plenty of apples. We sold a bunch of tomatoes too. All of the squash disappeared as well.

As the seed catalogs appeared around Christmas, I set forth to make up a better plan where I wold be able to start at the Farmer's Markets earlier in the year. I threw down a few bucks to get an indoor mini greenhouse. Last weekend, after having my seeds growing for 2-3 weeks already, I invested in a daylight spectrum light (grow light) and wired it into my mini greenhouse for additional light for the little seedlings.

Already, the tomatoes and peppers are growing well. Broccoli and cauliflower are growing fast as well. Once outdoor temperatures warm, I'll be able to get the squash, green beans and assorted collection of seeds planted. I even ordered sweet potato plants because I could.

I don't see this as turning into a full-time venture but it gets me closer to my roots. I like getting my hands dirty and meeting the people who will eat what I have grown. It's hard work but I'd be lost without working hard.