IT'S MY LIFE

ASSUMING

2012-07-20T01:40:00.000-07:00

True enough, I had another pool of tears last night. It has been going on for over a week now. Lying on my bed, thinking of you, shouting your name soundlessly , staring into nothingness.

We relatively started out as friends,with constant communication, exchanging thoughts, throwing corny jokes at each other until we discovered that we are similar in many ways. In short, we have a good chemistry as you have told me before. I even trusted you easily my innermost thoughts and my top secrets. Oh how could I forget the countless times that you made me laugh with your crazy antics? You made me feel so very special. Little by little, we started to care for each other.. then unconsciously , we found out that we are falling in love and strangely as I should say, even before we met.

We've been so very happy together, you've shown me the love and affection that I've been longing for. You've given the best to make this relationship a wonderful one. And I know that it's for real. I know that I've found in you the missing piece of my life. We are soulmates, and that's a fact we can't deny.

But then one day you're gone, I felt tormented as if your loss was killing me. I knew then, something is bothering you. And when you surfaced, I figured out something that broke my heart off.

I never thought that I could hurt myself by loving you so much like this. Sometimes I wish I never did..Yes, even though I know that no amount of words can measure the depth of love that we have for each other,our hearts and souls can attest to that, it's different now when you finally broke up the bad news to me. But in as much as we wanted to work it out, it seems that the whole world is against us, our love is going against the tide. We had a right love at a wrong time.

But you assured me of one thing, everything would be alright, that in the long run our love for each other will still prevail. The only thing that makes me stronger now is holding on to your promises. I know that true love can wait, but how long can I carry on?

Willing Willie feat. JAN-JAN ang batang ASTIG sumayaw! (March 12, 2011)

2011-03-29T15:58:00.000-07:00

Kawawa naman ang batang ito. Sana napanuod ito ng taga MTRCB.

VIDEO TIP SERIES # 25 Which Technology and Which Websites do You Need to Generate Leads and Convert Leads ?

2010-12-21T14:19:00.000-08:00

VIDEO TIP SERIES # 25 Which Technology and Which Websites do You Need to Generate Leads and Convert Leads ?

HOW CAN I FORGET YOU?

2010-11-12T06:05:00.001-08:00

Today..I meet him again..

He was still the same person I used to know..Anyway, it's not too long since the day I last talked with him. I still feel the pounding in my heart..I was still as excited as before with the way he talk to me...Oh how I missed our endless conversation... the familiar odd feeling whenever I'm interacting with him still invades my heart..

I thought I had moved on..oh that's the least thing I wanted to do before..Forgetting and letting go were my greatest fears..then.

I knew I am stupid but there is no more sign that he still loves me...but can you blame me? This craziness has been here for almost two years ...and during the times when he's constantly ignoring me, the only thing I do was to cry whenever there is a need to..

I think, it's not about who I really love and deserve, it's about who I want. But unfortunately, the person I really want to be with turned out to be someone who just seems to make a fool out of me and left my heart to bleed endlessly. Isn't it unfair to me? Is this what I really should get for loving you that much? Is this the price I have to pay?

But how do you say goodbye to someone you never really had? Why do I cry to someone I know I never really owned. Why do my tears fall so endlessly for someone who had never really loved me to my expectations? Why is it that I terribly miss someone I was never really with? And why do I love someone who will never love me in return?

How long will this stupidity last? Help me, please. I want to get off with this foolishness.........

"TRAFFIC LIGHT" Sad-Love -Pain"(

2010-11-08T15:03:00.000-08:00

When you love someone and there is a need to let go just think that loving them so much doesn't always mean they're the right one for us. Sometimes we should weigh things out for the better, not only for ourselves but also for the persons who love us no matter what..

Letting go doesn't mean giving up! but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be. Not all things are perfect!

The hardest thing to do is letting go...
not because you want to...but because you have to ...

EMO

2010-10-13T07:26:00.000-07:00

Loneliness had invaded my lame heart once again..I don’t know when I will get rid of it..It crawls along my nerves, triggering my eyes to shed off tears..

How can I forget that excruciating night when I discovered that my notions turned out to be real? The revelation hit me hard that at first shocked me and brought out frustrations and agony. .. It seems somebody else had taken my place in your heart? But what can I do? I knew from the very start that this time will come, that I should face the reality..I can’t blame you though, and this is my solemn confession..This feeling is unstoppable I suppose but I can’t give you all that you’ve been wanting from me..

Inspite of all these odds, I believe that everything happens for a purpose..however I still cannot solve the underlying mystery why I keep on yearning for your love… is it funny?

And now, I’ve made up my mind, to continue loving you whatever it takes.. Even though it is unjust, unfair..unacceptable.. and I hope time will come that all the misery will leave and I’ll finally never miss a thing about you….

I'LL BE OVER YOU

2010-08-12T06:58:00.000-07:00

Am I really a fool? Do I always be the one to kiss the pain? Now, I can explain the odd feeling I had this crisp morning. Instead of appreciation, upon finding out the pleasant surprise I delightedly handed out to you, it only gained an unexpected mockery .. Though I'm aware that everything and every move I made was already mundane to you, this still triggered too much disappointment in me, I was really annoyed.

Times were spent the entire day with crazy thoughts and questions running in my distressed mind. The trouble with you is your inconsistency and incomprehensibility … and our differences which presumably would never be patched up anymore…

Does true love really exist? I guess, this is just a one-way affair of the heart… apparently, you just love the idea of loving and you’re not really in love with me…everything is now clear ..The trust and respect are not really present from the very start….Do we deserve each other? I’m hoping we do, but I’m afraid we don’t…It’s so unfortunate of me, that I still hang on to this fanatical feeling..

And finally, do I have to give up now? I know that this is the most difficult part of it..This has been like a glass that ‘s already broken and putting back the pieces might only hurt me….but I have to be brave and strong to face it all……

“I never knew until that moment how bad it could hurt to lose someone you never really had.”

As soon as forever is through, I'll be over you. --Toto

YOU'RE THE ONE I LOVE

2010-08-10T19:22:00.000-07:00

YOU'RE THE ONE I LOVE

Every night, every day,
you're the one I always dream of.
Every line of your face is sketched so plain inside my heart.
You've grown so deep inside of me.
You're everything I feel and see,
and you're the one, you're the one I love.

All my life, all my love,
I can feel when you're beside me.
All that's right, all that's wrong
Suddenly becomes so clear.
But you have got somebody else
It's hard for me to tell myself
And you're the one,
you're the one I love.

Only you could move me enough to believe
In love one more time.
All I need to know for tomorrow
Is that you're mine,
mine for a lifetime.
If our friends all around
find it hard to understand us,
you and I understand
the other one so very well.

And that's what I've been looking for,
so I keep coming back for more,
'cause you're the one,
you're the one I love.
You're the one,
you're the one I love.

We Learn From Our Mistakes

2010-08-03T08:41:00.000-07:00

If we are to face the everyday struggles of our life with a feeling that we are like to succumb,when we think of our past mistakes that we didn't intend to do, we are most likely getting sick, tired, exhausted...I've been experiencing it everyday in my job, a very unwanted situation, but, I've got no choice..well, who like pressures to come into our lives anyway? It's not healthy anymore...I want to quit, but I can't..not now..

If only I could turn back the hands of time, I'll never put my shoes in this ordeal that brought me hundred torments. If only I was given the chance to choose people whom I should go along with in this situation I have in my present job, I could have done it.

Anyway, I know that I'm the only one who can make remedy on it...I can always find my way out of it..I should consider rewarding online job now..prioritize it.. this difficulty is only in the mind.. don't take life seriously..I don't want to be the author of my own life misery...I should act earlier before it's too late...

STYLE ALA EH..BAKIN GA GANIRE?

2010-07-21T16:35:00.001-07:00

Our province is certainly a one place which is rich with unique style, traits, culture, etc..Specifically, in our own dialect. We maybe a Tagalog speaking folks, but I must be proud to say that there are some words that only a real Batangueño can understand. And we must not discount the fact, that our accent and intonation has been very popular in many movies and has been imitated to trigger more fun in comedy films.

I can’t help but post and share the content of this email I’ve received through a friend originated from an unknown source. For a more exciting reading, I suggest that anybody who read this to recite this aloud with the proper accent of a true Batangueño, check it out:

MGA BALITANG BATANGAS

Airplane Crashes in Batangas
Tinanatanong ng reporter ang testigo sa pag crash ng eroplano sa Malapad na Parang, Lobo, Batangas
Media: Manong, paki describe nga ho ng airplane crash.

Mamay: Tinatangla ko laang ang buwig na sabang malapit ko nang tibain ay nasiglawan ko ang usok na pasirok ang dating.

Media: Ano ho ba ang una ninyong nakita?

Mamay: Aba’y una nga’y pasirok, maya-maya’y nagbatirok sumunod ay pairok-irok. Iyunnnn, ay di saka sumalpok tapos ang katapusa’y sumabog!

Media: Ano ho?!?!?

Barilan naman sa Tanauan, Batangas
Media: Ano ho ba ang nangyari?
Mamay: Kami laang naman ho’y nakaungkot dine sa balisbisan ng bahay. Ay maya-maya ho ay bigla na laang na nagdagaaban, tapos nagpalahawan ay di kami naman ho’y nagkaripasan!

Media: Ano daw?!?!?

—-=——- ——— ——— -
An airplane crashed at a town in Batangas (again).
MEDIA: Manong, pakilarawan po ang nangyari.

LOLO: Ala eh, nakow, garne ga utoy… Kakaalmusal ko laang, gayak ako’y sisinsay sa kahanggan, ay natan-awan ko yaan sa alapaap ay nagsisilab. Bago sumirok ng papagay-on na kala mo’y papatak. Ginagaling na laang at sa sukalang are sumugba, ay kung sa kabayanan ga, ay di panay mga utas!

MEDIA: Ho?

(ire pa ang isa…)

Vehicular Accident in Batangas
MEDIA: ‘Lo, kayo daw po’ng saksi?

LOLO: Ay uwoh! Ika’y pumarne dine sa silong. Kung ako pa naman ang dadais sa iyo para magsalaysay ay sulong!

MEDIA: ‘Sensya na po sa abala.

LOLO: Ako’y naka-ungkot laang dine at karakaraka’y ako’y nagitla sa busina. May mag-inang hasing-hasi pa ng paghihikap ay gab-eng gab-e na! Bakin ga aring dyip ay saksakan ng tulin??? Ay di ako’y palakat na sa mag-inang di naiingli! Aba’y maiipit na’y naka-umis pa! Kainaman. Hayown!
Sa pag-iwas ng dyip ay sumalya sa tarangka, tiklap ang tapaludung lasa ko’y kawangki ng nilamukos na kiche.
Pagkakabugnot ng drayber!
Ngalngal e!

MEDIA: Ano daw?

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Important Note: THIS IS NOT INTENDED TO OFFEND MY "KABABAYANS"...In fact, I'm really really proud to be a Batangueña!

COULDN'T FIND A REASON

2010-07-21T16:30:00.001-07:00

Here I am once again, all alone, confused and wondering why I haven’t gotten over you…can’t find any reason why the feeling is still pounding for you…You, who brought me thousand heartaches, broke my heart not only once, made me cry every now and then..still occupy my pitiable soul..
I have danced inside your eyes, have kissed inside your heart, and have done even the most stupid stuff, rocking each other’s world. But everything I did wasn’t good enough to make things work for us.
Now, it seems it’s over..so many words have been spoken and left unspoken, could no longer recover what has been lost..Loneliness fills me up inside and what has been left behind are happy but painful memories. I’m living in regrets, my heart is in vain, my life is empty searching for reasons….
And if there’s one thing I must do now is to never let you know that I feel like bleeding. Facing with much outcry coz you left me with no choice but to make you feel that losing me would be your enormous loss…not mine..

It Started..It Ended One Summer…

2010-04-15T06:55:00.000-07:00

“Love knows no rules, you could fall in love with the right person, but still find yourself at the wrong track. You could also fall for the wrong person but find yourself at the right path. “

I could still recall vividly how I met you one summertime. I met the right person at a wrong time…at a wrong place.. It started with just a simple hello..never expecting that a special relationship it would blown into.. A connection between two right people on a wrong circumstances..and though we were oblivious to the fact that it is heading to something irrational and deplorable..

It started with happy moments that paved the way for a bond to develop between us..it was extraordinary for me as I have always been telling you.. it was so special that it got more intense as the days went by..

It started when I felt my knees shaking, my heart trembling, my blood seemed to be draining..All along I was on a puzzle and a thousand thrill captivated my heart…as if this will go on eternally..

But then, I began to realize the damn truth..this should not go on forever.. I started to notice you were the one who first discerned that it’s heading to something not right and unjust..and then you were lost for a period of time….can no longer find even a single trace of you..you have left me in the air….but somehow it relieved me..

That’s when I started to ask myself ”why..what..how..” Why should it be this way? …. What am I looking for? What are we heading for? How come I indulged myself with this kind of a mess? This is just a fantasy…this is unreal!!!! I was screaming in my solitude…I didn’t look for you..it was you who found me… I was happy even before you came into my life..I wished I had never known you….

But now you’re coming back with promises that are only meant to be broken ..that’s always too good to be true..but I have come to my senses..

And now I guess the foolishness is over… I was wrong in thinking that holding on will make me strong but I must say that letting go will make me stronger..

And now it’s summertime once again…and finally I’m picking up the broken pieces of the wasted dream…. the feeling was gone…never to come back anymore….but who knows what lies ahead?..

“There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.”

Two Touching Stories

2009-12-25T18:10:00.000-08:00

Hope you pause for a few minutes and take time to read these two beautiful stories I want to share with everyone.

One day a rich Dad took his son on a trip because he wanted to show to him how poor some people can be. They spent time on the farm of a poor family. On their way home, Dad asked "how's the trip? Did you see how poor some people can be?" "Yes Dad"..Dad asked "what did you learn? The boy replied, "We have one dog, they have four. We have a pool, they have an endless creek. At night, we have fancy lanterns, they have the stars. We buy food, they grow theirs. We have walls for protection, they have friends. Dad, you showed me how poor we are."

An Antichrist couple had a son. They never introduced nor mentioned God to their son. One day the couple was killed in front of him. Their neighbor adopted the child and enrolled him in a Christian school. They told the teacher that the boy didn't know anything about God. During class, the teacher showed a picture of Jesus and asked "who among you knows this man?" The child raised his hand, the teacher was shocked. The child answered "He was the man holding me tight when my parents died."

And They Called Me Amie

2009-09-21T09:07:00.000-07:00

I guess that 99% of us like our own name, of course I am one of those who like and love my name very much. It's just my nickname but this is what my dear loved ones and friends used to call me. I just want to share the meaning of my name which I have research a long time ago from a site that I could no longer recall. So here it is:
The Meaning of Amie

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together..

Hehehe, I can say that it is only 90% true to my personality. I just want to be myself the natural way, as my friends can see is what they get from me.

The Past 100 Days of My Life

2009-07-25T08:59:00.000-07:00

After being silent for quite some time, I found myself again writing another blog on what had transpired during the past 100 days of my life..Well, these are typical busy days of my never ending busy life..But somehow, there were extraordinary occurrence of something which up to now confuses my mind. Looking back, the first few days were full of wild unexpectations and I called very exceptional and strange in the sense that it happened for the first time in my entire existence in this complicated world. With a touch of complicity, I did find myself indulged in a "too good to be true" friendship in the web that developed by the flooding of endless chat messages whether online or offline and some invitations in different social websites...Little did I realize that this will bring myself emotional complexities...It hurts a lot when you assume of something which later turned out to be untrue and it hurts you more if you feel and found out that you have been a fool..when you finally come to your senses and realized how stupid you have become..There were lessons learned the hard way..never make a decision when you are angry and never make promises when you are happy.. The last few days are the times to weigh things out .. eventually the hard feelings will be gone and the resentment will be finally thrown into the trash..But anyway there are still a lot more of important things to be thankful for during the past 100 days .. I still have my loving family beside me and a circle of true friends around me..and of course I have been blessed with another job which is very well compensating .. and most of all I have my strong faith with God, the Father almighty..

Burn Out

2009-07-25T08:30:00.000-07:00

How would you react if having been working for almost a decade in a company, you still feel unappreciated despite the stress and pressures you have been experiencing? I have been in the company for almost 9 years.. the first few years were full of fun and challenges because it was a totally different job for me since it's not related from my course in college.. but somehow i have learned the job easily because I'm a dedicated person when it comes to career and have learned to love it since I have helped a lot of people. But of course, there are times that I feel bored and exhausted due to stress..I am a graduate of Accountancy, and had shared my knowledge with some financing companies before, perhaps, I'm just missing my passion, to do again the debit and credit transaction, journalize entries, preparing financial statements, balance sheets, etc, etc..and this job that is burning me out is medical related (not really my field of expertise) and sad to say, it's not fairly compensating, or maybe because I've got a more new challenging job as a virtual assistant and have been moonlighting for already three months todate which at first was only intended to be on a part time basis but eventually engaged myself on a fulltime shift in the grave hours of the night. I'm now in the dilemna on whether I should resign from my long time job or not. I'm also worried on my health because of too much stress..and most of all I was deprived of my time to attend fellowship every Sunday since I'm being obliged to work even on that day. But it's up to the Lord for Him to guide me on all my decisions and He knows what is best for me
since He knows the real desire of my heart.

The Vanishing Chivalry

2009-06-23T06:59:00.000-07:00

I was not used to be being observant before, but this afternoon after visiting my mother in my hometown, I rode on a bus to go home.. Unfortunately the bus was already full of passengers and some of them were standing.. I said to myself “bahala na” because it’s already getting dark and I all I wanted was to get home to prepare dinner for my family. And I found myself standing holding a grip in one of the back seat, I manage myself not to be pushed everytime the bus was loading and unloading passenger.. I got annoyed and irrititated, the driver should no longer pick up passengers since the bus is already full...and upon gazing up to the people standing like a queue at the aisle, I noticed that most of us were ladies and alas , most of the passengers that were very lucky to occupy a comfortable seat were men .. and the sight pissed me off especially that they were all pretending not seeing the ladies standing. .some were perhaps pretending to be in deep slumber, some were using their cellphone maybe texting or playing games, they just simply making “deadma” to us...me and my big mouth..i was not able to control myself as I uttered in a not so loud voice to the woman standing next to me, “di na pala uso ngayon ang boy scout” ..where are the Filipino values nowadays? It’s a sad thing that it’s already vanishing..from generation to the next generation..I hope I’m wrong..

Father in Heaven

2009-06-18T05:34:00.000-07:00

I was born twenty five years after he was born. My Dad, according to my Mom, had never been so happy before until I came to existence. I was their first born, their first bundle of joy and brought to them so much happiness. I was his inspiration to work doubly hard and everything he planned was for my future. As far as I can recall when I was still a bubbly little girl, he used to bring me “pasalubong” everytime he went home from work. He was a perfect father for me, he showed to me all his affections. He was my first mentor and taught me a lot of things, playing and strumming the guitar is one of the unforgettable. In return, I also showered him with lots of love and respect and set myself a role model for my younger siblings. When I was in elementary, modesty aside, I was always on top of our class and my father, who’s very proud of me, used to tell his “compadres”(friends), “manang mana yang anak ko sken, hehe”. With all those complimentary remarks coming from his mouth, I eventually grew up with self-worth and developed more a sense of confidence. I grew up idolizing him, everything turned out well and materialized according to his plan for me. I’m not selfish but I knew I was his favourite among his children. I had this complacent belief that nothing unpleasant could ever come upon us.
But even if we were happy and contented with the simple joys we have in our life, he felt that there was an urgent necessity to augment the family income because we were growing up. Then he decided to go to a faraway place to look for greener pastures. Yes, he succeeded and our family lived comfortably and enjoyed the material things that we could afford to have. Amidst the fact that he had to live apart from us, it’s a sacrifice and that’s the price we have to pay.
However, no one is perfect, no situation is perfect and then something went wrong. I was in my high school years when we discovered that he (like any other human being) is vulnerable to temptation. We found out that he had an affair with “other woman” in that far away place. And I could say that it was the gloomiest day of my life, I felt that the world trembled upon me and torn apart. All my idolization for him was replaced by so much hatred and every dream shattered. It’s a good thing that I’m not rebellious by nature, shortly afterwards that incident, I began picking up the broken pieces of my life. Although it brought a tremendous effect in my young mind, I knew that life must go on and promise myself to move on with my younger siblings to protect from harm and to take good care of and my mother who needed compassion. In fairness to my father, he did not abandon us and he never forgot his obligations to us being a good provider as he was used to be. He did not leave us literally but we grew emotionally apart.
My Mom, being a martyr type, did not give up and continuously prayed and put all her faith to the Lord and ask that everything would turn back to normal because she believed that at the end of the day my Dad would still find his way back home. And God is indeed so Great, he listened to all our prayers and my father finally realized his mistakes and asked for forgiveness from God and from us. I forgot all the grudges I kept holding on for years because he went home a sick man and it broke my heart. By that time, I was already married and was busy with my new family and career so I did not have much time spent with him anymore.. I knew that he wanted to make up for the lost time even if he was sick. On my part, I still want to bring back the good old times, but it was now different. How I wished I could turn back the hands of time and fix everything that went wrong. How I wished I could return to be that bubbly little girl always clinging to my father. How I wished I could give him all the comfort that he needed.
I felt the guilt and had the biggest regret in my life when one day my greatest fear came. My father had finally joined the Creator 36 years after I was born. I can’t even recount if the half of those years of my life with him in this world was spent meaningfully. I was full of tears knowing that we didn’t had the chance to be bonded again with each other during his latter days. But I cannot say that I took him for granted but the call of my career in order to support him financially was the one given priority. But the great consolation was that he died with a clean heart because he finally received the gift of God, he became a born again Christian by faith even though he was not baptized and immersed in the water. And for that reason I am pretty sure that he is now in heaven.
I just want to share this to all the daughters and sons out there to grab every opportunity to show their love and respect to their fathers even if they have share of their shortcomings before it’s too late. Don’t be shy to express your feelings of appreciation and gratitude. We have only one biological father in this world and they deserved to be loved and shown affection......
And to all the fathers in this world whose ultimate dream is to build a secure and good future for your children I salute all of you. May you continuously be blessed and guided by the Lord almighty.
To my father, whom I believe is in heaven right now who watches me every now and then, I want to thank you for bringing me into this world and for making me a good person as I am today. Without you I will never be here.... We may never spent much time together, but I will always cherish the quality times we had shared ever since I was a little girl. I may never had the chance to say it to you when you were still alive but I want you to know that I love you very much and you will always be remembered as a perfect father for me. Happy father’s day to you.

To all Fathers ==Happy Father's Day