Carrie's Coffee Talk

A work in progress..

noreply@blogger.com (MamaCBear) — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 16:41:00 +0000

Where many start blogs as a hobby, life often gets in the way and POOF! no more witty blog entries! Sorry about the absence, but being a personal project I guess I gave myself a little break from the blogoshpere.
So friends, I have my cup full--chocolate mint tea! and now where to begin...

Once upon a time there was a bird with some big opinions. This bird flew when it was nice weather, cozied up in its nest when it was grey and wet, and sung when it was happy. The little bird was distracted from time to time with other creatures, struggling for their own happiness or time in the sun. What time had taught this bird was that no matter who you were, where you came from, or how your time was spent, nothing mattered most than your own journey. The judging from the branches would only lead in the end to an empty heart and in enters CLARITY; everyone was a work in progress. Life was a work in progress. Gathering memories on the way, creating new routes for their course. All anyone ever really has is the brief moments of personal contentment. Be it in a warm sun, or flying in a fresh breeze, or taking a comforting soak--any and all that makes one feel alive. The once naive little bird was now very aware of all that surround its tree. The power that those around the bird once had in making the bird feel anything negative, fell away... There was more important things to feel. There was so many fantastic emotions, and those that realize this early, are the lucky ones.

Focus on your own happiness little birdies! You will be grateful... I am.

Your Friend,

Carrie

What is this life?

noreply@blogger.com (MamaCBear) — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 18:19:00 +0000

This life.
This one right now.
The growing to fullness, then shrinking to emptiness.
The creating of one's own.
The protecting of the heart.
The respect and politeness.
The drive for more.
The cherishing of traditions.
The needing.
Faith in hope.
The breaths we've caught.
The release.
The innocence and the ignorance.
The warmth of the sun.
The necessity of the rain.
The beauty of the moon.
The thrill of wind.
The worrying thoughts.
The randomness of dreams.
The devastation of weapons.
The power of a smile.
Health.
The ever-present dependency.
The patterns.
The ego.
Human error.
Not one life is so different.
Always and never.
Universal.
Here for now.
There is no manual.
There is no right way.
Enjoy your turn.
I know, I exist.

The Importance of Housework...

noreply@blogger.com (MamaCBear) — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 22:58:00 +0000

Oh the housework, the work that tears me away from my computer; the mundane sorting, cleaning, trimming, folding.. It piles up, it gets dusty, it clutters my rooms, it demands my attention, daily. The housework is the work of daily living, and since I live, daily, I am compelled to finish. My mind turns to autopilot, and my thoughts turn inward. Little snippets of the constant reminders to "pick up milk", and reassuring "library books due Wednesday, don't worry", flashing through my mind until the to-do list roll call quiets...for they are all things needing me, begging to be completed...and then, I feel a sense of sorting has already taken place. In the focusing of my mind to all things scattered in my consciousness, I have filed them neatly again. The never-ending has paused, through tedious washing of each plate, repetitive paths cutting the ever-growing lawn, the searching out and pairing of each sock, has helped me find temporary peace. The peace won't last, the demands are never-ceasing, but for now, yes for now there is again order, in my house.
So I will not gripe, or groan, as the leaves begin to fall, and I KNOW who will be raking each pile in the months to come.. No, because there is importance in each task-- the caring for your piece of the universe, your place you call home.. Clearing your mind, in such simple moments, without interruption of e-mails, tv schedule, texts..Feels good. Feels monotonous, for sure, but the end result is important. Until the next cup, keep smiling.

Reach for More..

noreply@blogger.com (MamaCBear) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 18:00:00 +0000

My resolution comes with the end of summer vacation.. A new path lay ahead for now my littlest chickadee is starting Junior Kindergarten. Pause that... Rewind... Play: My kids are growing at lightning speed! Son starting third grade and daughter in JK... wow. Thus leaving me feeling melancholy for a bit.
Enough dwelling, time stops for no woman, and I am realizing: I have so many things I want to learn in this world. So maybe this year will be the year I learn:
1. To play acoustic guitar.
2. To learn to drive standard. Why? Well why not?
3. The practices of yoga. Who's with me? Ommmmmmmm....
4. To grow a garden. I have fond memories of helping my mom with her vegetable gardens growing up. I get excited just thinking about it. Oh yes, this will happen this year, just can't decide yet what kind of garden I want to try first, hmmmmm..
5. To be a super-organized zen momma! Explanation: I don't want to feel that fear that I don't have it all together. Maybe it will always be out of reach, or maybe I already have it and I am not yet satisfied to pat my own back. It's a thinker!

Get over the idea that only children should spend their time in study. Be a student so long as you still have something to learn, and this will mean all your life. ~Henry L. Doherty

These are just a few of the things I've been meaning to learn, and I hope I truly follow through this year. I will keep you posted on my progress. Until the next cup of coffee and self-indulgent dreaming, I encourage you to dare yourself too! It can only make your universe that much more interesting! As always, keep smiling!

Mass Addiction: Over-sharing

noreply@blogger.com (MamaCBear) — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 20:06:00 +0000

Hi, my name is Carrie, and I'm an over-sharer.. like so many out there, from Facebook, to Twitter, and of course the blogasphere, we've began to really enjoy showing the world our lives. Which wouldn't be so bad, except we may be getting addicted to the emotional response we get from having our peers judge our lifestyles. I too am guilty of this habit, but admitting it is the first step! There is help! I can promise that even after reading this, you may take a look at your own sharing habits and wonder if maybe the rest of the world isn't or shouldn't be on a need-to-know basis of your daily activities.

Did you know Facebook boasts to have over 750 million active users in the world. More to the point, an average Facebook user has 130 friends.. and is connected to approx. 80 community pages..

Wow, I know a lot of people, but how many of them am I willing to share my family photos with? how many would care to show up if I posted an event and invited all to come for a BBQ in my backyard?

Then why do we love these social networks? Well... honestly, status wars were what attracted me to the social network. It's true, I thought I was full of funny, quirky things to say, that everyone would love to read them! Who's with me? I loved reading my friends' funny statuses, and kept in the know with people just by reading something they felt the need to vent about via tweet or status box. That little box begs for you to tell your audience of acquaintances absolutely anything, and it doesn't even have to be your own words! Whatever clever quotes you want to share, or random lyrics from a song, you copy and paste and SHARE! Sit back and wait for the responses to your latest entry in the internet universe... a vicious cycle of emotional dependency, and my words of warning are that as long as it doesn't hurt anyone's personal lives (ie.work, friends, family), then it's not considered a problem. The moment you find yourself chatting online more than in person, that's a sign you may be in trouble. Shooting off a message online or text from your mobile phone is often easier than getting stuck in a real conversation with someone. <= Sad but so true!

So my next big step is to erase the 'LOL' and all those silly acronyms from my personal vocabulary... I know I will continue to try and make random people giggle with silly videos and funny statuses, but I vow to curb my real life exposure, and care less about what other people think of me. Everyone hopes to be liked, to be thought of as funny, creative, special... The truth of the matter is that no one can make you feel anything. Don't depend on anyone to boost your confidence for the day by 'liking' something you really love. Love it, and own it! Until my next cup, keep smiling world!

"Cuz life's too short to be cool"

A Spoon Full of Sugar....

noreply@blogger.com (MamaCBear) — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 15:00:00 +0000

Disney movies weren't all about the subliminal messages. I took so many lessons away from watching those movies, who didn't? With love conquering all, warnings to beware of scary people, and that it's what's on the inside that counts. So for Friday's Fav, here's a list of cute and valuable lessons.

Carrie's Top 10 Fav Disney Quotes:
1. "The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake."-Sebastian, Little Mermaid

~So true crab dude, we often forget to be grateful for what we do have. ~

2. "Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely."-Little Foot's mother, Land before Time

~Very similar to Pinocchio's message: trust your instincts! That little voice inside us that tells us the truth, we just need to be open to it.~

3. "The past can hurt. You can either run from it, or learn from it." Rafiki, Lion King

~Well said, for some people it takes more than one knock on the head!~

4. "You think the only people who are people, are the people who look and think like you. But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew you never knew." - Pocahontas

~Beautiful message for us to look beyond race, and to be open to learning knew cultures.~

5. "Even miracles take a little time." -Fairy Godmother, Cinderella

~Some wait forever, but 'secretly' make miracles happen for themselves, like Cinderella knowing she would soon live happily ever after, she just had to believe. ~

6. " But oh, to be free. Not to have to go "Poof! Whaddaya need," "Poof! Whaddaya need," "Poof! Whaddaya need?". To be my own master. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world." -Genie, Aladdin

~I don't know about you, but I can totally sympathize with this character's message.~

7. "Eating greens is a special treat. It makes long ears and great big feet. But it sure is awful stuff to eat."-Thumper; Bambi

~ Thumper is the brown-noser of the bunny family; he is definitely a mama's boy. I would generally be annoyed with his constant rule-recital if he wasn't so dang cute! And remember: "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all."-Thumper, Bambi ~

8. "I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Fish are friends, not food."-Bruce, Finding Nemo

~Not really about cannibalism, but does show the 'Be the change you want to see' message cleverly presented in a fish-eater's support group.

9. "Take it from an old spectator. Life's not a spectator sport. If watchin' is all you're gonna do, then you're gonna watch your life go by without ya." -The Hunchback of Notre Dame

~Love this quote, for I believe we were lucky enough to be here, might as well live!~

10. " I'll tell you what. If you promise not to fight anymore, I promise not to yell at you, except on special occasions."-Nani, Lilo and Stitch

~Tuesdays and bank holidays would be ideal I agree! I wish negotiations with pre-schoolers were that easy!~

Well friends, it's time to refill the mug! Until next time, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming." (Dori, Finding Nemo)

Friday Fav

noreply@blogger.com (MamaCBear) — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 15:10:00 +0000

Making coffee in my house is done with ease with my new coffee press from Epicure that will survive even me! In the past my coffee press streak has not been good; cracks in the glass, thin glass breaking in the sink while getting ready to wash, ugh! This snazzy, insulated, polished steel French coffee press is a must for clumsy coffee lovers like moi!

Coffee brewing for those new to presses:
1. Boil water in tea kettle.
2. Add coarsely ground coffee to the Coffee pot;
approximately 3 - 4 Tbsp for a full pot
of coffee. Feel free to add some spices to the grounds (eg. cinnamon, nutmeg, cardamom, etc.)
3. Pour over coffee grounds and fill pot 2/3 full.
4. Quickly stir coffee with a long spoon.
5. Place plunger lid on top of pot, but resist plunging yet...
6. Allow coffee to steep for 3 - 4 minutes before
gently and steadily depressing plunger. There
will be slight resistance.
7. Pour and enjoy the formidable taste of
French Press coffee!

Life Is Like A Cup of Coffee...

noreply@blogger.com (MamaCBear) — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 20:25:00 +0000

Hello good friends! Grab your cup! Wait...curious me: which cup do you choose? do you have a favourite? Is it short and petite? Or big? Pretty? Classic looking? Perhaps plain? I change it up a lot, today happens to be my red cup! You know what? My coffee tastes amazing! It has nothing to do with my cup by the way, hehe, but more to do with what I put in it. I get creative some days and add cinnamon and nutmeg to the grounds. Some days there may be vanilla added to my water before brewing. I love variety, it's the spice of life after all, and makes life interesting. The coffee is drank not for nourishment, but for pleasure. I don't need the caffeine jolt --although it is quite welcomed some days--but I seem to actually relax into my cup. Maybe it's from past memories of drinking it while having fantastic convos with friends, or maybe it's a reminder of my time as a child, waking up to that smell in my grandma's house and getting a little cup of it all to myself... For whatever reasons, I am a fan for life, and like life, my coffee is sweet, sometimes strong tasting, to which I sweeten in my own way with the tools I'm given. So enjoy your cup, whichever you choose, and be content with what you put in it! Cheers! ;)

Holy Guacamole!!

noreply@blogger.com (MamaCBear) — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 17:13:00 +0000

Just got back from Mexico friends! While my husband and I enjoyed our second honeymoon(yes, married 10 years with 2 kids definitely warrants one, haha), I indulged quite a bit in the guacamole! Now back in St. Thomas, it's the Canada long weekend, and I'm keeping this new favourite snack! So swap your coffee for a yummy ceasar, and try this recipe, you will love it!

Ingredients

3 Tbsp (45 ml) Epicure's Guacamole Dip Mix
2 ripe avocados, peeled, pitted and mashed
1/2 cup (125 ml) sour cream
1 Tbsp (15 ml) lemon or lime juice

Instructions

1. Combine all ingredients. Refrigerate dip for 1 hour to allow flavours to mellow.

Eaten in moderation, avocados are an excellent source of heart-healthy monosaturated fats, which may also help lower bad cholesterol.

Per Serving (2 Tbsp (30 ml)) : Calories 70, Fat 6 g (Saturated 1 g, Trans 0 g), Cholesterol 5 mg, Sodium 90 mg, Carbohydrate 5 g (Fibre 2 g, Sugars 1 g), Protein 2 g.

I am thankful...

noreply@blogger.com (MamaCBear) — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 00:17:00 +0000

I am a truly lucky girl, to have a great man, great kids, and great friends. It's worth shouting to the cyber universe!

I see the beauty in this world and am thankful to be in it! From the grayest skies to the brightest sunset, we take for granted sometimes the awesomeness of being.

I am blessed with a fantastic family! Even if we don't get together as often as we like, we make the times together special.

I often wish I could be closer to all my peeps. My social circle is wide and full of amazing individuals, and no matter how frequent it is that we connect I will always treasure them in my life.

I am thankful for the existence of caffeine and cheese curds.

I am grateful for my mom, she has made me the person I am, even the crazy parts, haha!

I am that girl that finds music videos and funny time wasting youtube clips entertaining, and am thankful to the friends that put up with my silly hobby.

Recipes I Love

noreply@blogger.com (MamaCBear) — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 15:57:00 +0000

Epicure's Strawberry Banana Smoothie:

    * 1 cup (250 ml) milk
    * 1/2 cup (125 ml) fresh or frozen sliced strawberries
    * 1/2 banana, chopped
    * 1/4 cup (60 ml) low-fat plain yogurt
    * 1 Tbsp (15 ml) Epicure's Summer Berry Fruit Dip Mix

1. Blend all ingredients in a blender until smooth and frothy.
2. Pour into glasses and serve.
Try layering with fresh or frozen fruit.

Epicure's Extraordinary Cheese Dip

This dip is the most popular at my house! Gooey, cheese-y, bacon-y, yumminess!

Makes 3 cups (750 ml) or 24 servings

Ingredients

1 — 8 oz (250 g) package spreadable cream cheese
1/2 cup (125 ml) grated cheddar cheese
1/2 cup (125 ml) grated mozzarella cheese
1 cup (250 ml) light mayonnaise
1 tsp (5 ml) Epicure's Seasoning for Cheese, Chives & Bacon Dip
1 tsp (5 ml) Epicure's Lemon Dilly Dip Mix
1 tsp (5 ml) Epicure's 3 Onion Dip Mix

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 350° F (175° C).
2. Combine all ingredients until well-blended and spoon into Epicure’s Baker. (or pie-sized baking dish)
3. Bake for 20–30 minutes, or until heated through.

Becoming a Mother: The Prep Class

noreply@blogger.com (MamaCBear) — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 19:43:00 +0000

Dear Friends, I marvel at the beautiful creation of a smaller version of ourselves combined with another.

"The beauty of my body is not measured by the size of the clothes it can fit into, but by the stories that it tells. I have a belly and hips that say, "We grew a child in here," and breasts that say, "We nourished life." My hands, with bitten nails and a writer's callus, say, "We create amazing things.""

-Sarah, from I Am Beautiful: A Celebration of Women in Their Own Words

I also believe whole-heartedly that birthing does not make you a mother. Genetically being tied to your little one does not make you closer or more in-tune with your child. Parents are born too. I have had the pleasure of knowing some very loving individuals that have opened their hearts to raise a family. I see no difference in how we become parents, as separating how we are connected to our children.

So what about the preparations for the arrival of a baby? Baby showers are events we organize to help new parents in the material aspect of planning. We think of fun games for a gathering of women to play, award prizes for not saying the word "baby", and somehow try to help new moms prepare for the struggles that lie ahead. Of all the times women need other women, it's when we are in need of outside strength, wisdom, and reassurance in the 'before' moments of motherhood. Gift registries are helpful but are never going to have on them what we actually need at this time.

I have recently felt a wave of clarity on this subject... I love party planning as much as the next gal, making sure every gathering I host has a theme, is decorated and organized with some thought behind it. Having said this, I think when planning for the arrival of your child it can be scary, exciting, and lonely. No one else can tell you what the proper tools are-- what car seat, or the necessary Bumbo chair, or tummy-time activity mat. These are the wants, you will learn the needs later... So it gives us comfort, to hear the stories from other mothers, to share in your connection with them and hear them give a prep-talk for the journey ahead.

So mamas, give that special gift to the new mommy-to-be, but give it with a thoughtful piece of advice too. Words are what we can offer from the heart, and stand for so much more.

Here is what I have left with my younger sister, that lives farther away than I'd like, but whom I hold close emotionally.

Why I Think You will be a Great Mom:

A letter to my little sister

By Carrie Hambleton

Dearest Jodi Lynn,

I know the hours seem long, and you are anxious and uncomfortable, and feeling lost in this stage in your life… But I want you to know that what you are about to go through, will be the biggest, best part of living. It’s a moment where your body changes from a girl to a woman, and a child to a mother. You have so many scary new moments ahead of you, and being so far away from your own mother is going to seem unbearable, but don’t be scared… You have always had exactly what it takes to be a great mom. It’s always been there. You never knew did you? Well let me tell you what everyone already knows, in hopes to give you strength in the next few weeks, as the new life that is blossoming inside you is getting ready to finally come into this world.

-You have always been nurturing.

-You love my kids like they were your own. And trust me, my little ones hold you on the top shelf in their hearts.

-You are fun… even when we would fight as kids, we would be laughing in the end… I’m so lucky to have had you as my playmate growing up, you made me want to be more fun like you.

-You already have mother-guilt. This is an important part of being a mom; everyone gets it, and it makes you want to try harder every day to do better for your child. So welcome to the rest of your life of high self-expectations, for it keeps you humble and selfless for him.

-You are an amazing cook! I know you will take care in nourishing your little one.

-You are creative, and open-minded—a quality that only makes your spirit that much shinier! Your little boy is going to be brought up in the arms of an amazingly artistic woman… This fact will shape him to be something beautiful and great.

-You are a true friend, and a fantastic listener. Children need to know they have someone like this, like we have in our own mother, and I can proudly say that your son is so lucky to have you to turn to.

-You know humility; a quality that moms need to shape them as parents. It inspires empathy, compassion, and self-discipline.

-You are powerful... You were given the power and privilege to co-create a life, to help your child reach his full potential and create a better world. That's enormous power and responsibility.

-You are beautiful... Your son will be a reflection of you and Sam, and when you look into his eyes for the first time, you will see what everyone sees in you…absolutely beautiful... no laugh lines or stretch marks could ever diminish your beauty.

What you are about to walk through is more than a birth. For you and Sam this will be a true reflection of your commitment and love together. This birth will be a milestone for your little family. Savour the moments as “woman” and “man”, soon-to-be forever after known to another being as “mommy” and “daddy”.

In closing, I leave you with an inspirational blessingway poem, for you to gain strength from, and turn to as a pep-talk for your soul on the day of your birthing.

“May you be blessed with an easy but powerful transition;
Adding "mother" to daughter, sister, partner, and friend.
May you be changed in all the ways you hope to be changed.

May your body open easily, and then heal.
May the messengers who surround you guide you through what's coming.
May you know the joy and significance of bringing another soul into the world.
May you feel your own power, strength, and value.
May the sleepless nights ahead be endured if not savoured
Because they're temporary.

May the miracle of tiny knuckles sustain you through 2am feedings.
May you be nourished by providing nourishment;
And comforted by providing comfort.
May you always have helping hands and wise women to guide you on your journey.

May every blessing, every first
in your new life and your new child's life
string together like holy beads.”

-anonymous

Love You Little Sister

Carrie OXOX

Shift Changes and the Reasons Why Mom Friends Exist

noreply@blogger.com (MamaCBear) — Sat, 28 May 2011 16:17:00 +0000

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. -Ferris Bueller

Sorry for the gap in my posts, my life has been moving pretty fast lately, so I'm going to press pause and look around here with you.

Ever notice we go through cycles through our relationships with people? Sometimes with our spouses, with our parents, or with our kids--you get where I'm going...Our friends. The people we turn to outside of our inner network, for unbiased opinions, support, and good laughs. We don't ever mean to lose touch with all the friends we meet on our journey through life, and thanks to the existence of Facebook, we can reconnect or keep in touch with all those "friends". We will have a few very close friends, and depending on where we are in our life, we find a "shift change" and sub-in different friends. Call me an optimist, but I truly believe that your closest friends you will have can let this cycle happen and still maintain an arm's length friendship, falling back in step like you always were.

I consider my friendships through my path to this point. My first bf was my mom. Then came my little sister being 15months younger than me, we were close, sometimes aggravatingly, hehe, and a "shift change" happened and I had some great school friends. I remember every close friend through public school, and I am happy to have reconnected with them to see how their lives have blossomed to the present. High school--shifts again--because I had my own circle of friends and 2 real boyfriends..leading to my now husband. He will remain to be my closest, best companion through our life together--but we will have to work at it of course. The idea of spending the rest of your life tied to the same person isn't for everyone; it can be boring, frustrating, and add kids into it, there's bound to be some friction.

“When a woman makes the choice to marry, to have children, in one way her life begins but in another way it stops. You build a life of details. You become a mother, a wife and you stop and stay steady so that your children can move. And when they leave they take your life of details with them. "--Meryl Streep in Bridges of Madison County.

Knock, knock! enters in the "Couple Friends". This breed of paired com padres adds an element of fun; making you feel new to people again. The relationships renew your perspective of your own spouse, reminding each other of all the qualities you fell for--which after a few years of raising kids, is refreshing!

Of course you need your own peeps, and thus getting to my point!

1. Because your ugly thoughts won't be judged by your mom friends. Every mom has them, and better to let them out and feel released from the guilt of thinking them with like-minded moms.

2. Sometimes you need to vent about your spouse. We don't sit around and do this all the time, but it is therapeutic at times in a safe atmosphere.
3. It is so nice to have an adult to converse with that needs your companionship just as much during this period. You may go crazy talking to your verbally challenged babe all day.

What happens after your babes grow out of this sweet age of rolling, crawling, and babbling? When the demands of work enter back in, and your mom friend time is harder to plan, or harder to enjoy as your little ones are too old to have them entertained for an hour or two for the moms to gab? You turn to blogs..KIDDING! ** You try to keep in touch, drop in on them when the stars align and you have kid-free time to chat...And if you're as close friends as you thought you were, they will always be there for you, no matter how long the time passes between visits.. They will always be the ear, the shoulder, the cheer-leader you need, just as you would be for them. Don't forget the coffee! The coffee talks with all my friends will have a place in my heart always.. and will exist again, just in different ways. Cheers!

Dr. Suess was on to something...

noreply@blogger.com (MamaCBear) — Sun, 03 Apr 2011 19:29:00 +0000

Oh, the Places You'll Go!

My friends it seems motherhood is a strange new place, and everyone acts like they set the pace.  With intentions of raising well-rounded wee ones, we set off on our journey and hope that we're even.  Which path will you take? You need to choose.. For there are mothers already with their parenting views!  Co-sleeping, or baby-wearing, be loving and kind, there's no real line in the sand in my mind!  What you choose for your little one is not up for debate. You aren't on trial for your parenting traits!    

"And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too."

 Easier said then done, I say!  With laundry, and groceries, and meals to be made.  It seems as though we get stuck in a spot, where the days we need rest and the children do not!  Chores will get done, kids will get tired, while coffee and chocolate keep mommy hard-wired.  

"And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done."

 So we are pulled and brought back by our friends with big shoulders, other moms who have felt this and needed supporters.  For they were right from the start with their warnings of blue days, and although hard to admit help wanted is okay.  

"Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a sting of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting."

 Each day is an adventure in mommy land you know, whether it's teething to walking, just seeing them grow!  You won't be changing diapers for long, and sleep will get better-- just know that these challenges won't go on forever!  

"I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!

Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot."

When it comes to judgment, you're your worst critic, and will put your decisions to question you cynic! For you have no one to hold your hand, no one will shout "right!" or "wrong!" from the stands.  You have your own instincts and can make mistakes dear, just keep that in mind when you look in the mirror.      

"You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act."

So  while you may be a maid, a chef and a nurse, these traits just add to your Mary Poppin's-style purse....  A goddess, a friend, a smart business woman, your kids will thank you for the life they are given.

"Today is your day!

Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!"

You've got a Friend in ME!

noreply@blogger.com (MamaCBear) — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 18:12:00 +0000

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." ~Albert Schweitzer

       Mom Friends--we all need them. We surround ourselves with different friend personalities without knowing it. We nurture ourselves by reaching out to a particular friend depending on what we are going through. Generations of instinctive mothering has been bred into us, and yet we still need a network of pals to keep us grounded and show support when we feel lost.

"The Brutally Honest Friend"- We sometimes need to be told what we fear to be true. Some days we need a friend to call us on our bad moments and shed a realist's take on our situation. They remain neutral, but call it how it is. This friend is very important for keeping level-headed. Be thankful for her honest approach and advice she offers. Though she may not be the one you turn to for a sugar-coated pat on the back, reality checks in and you find empowerment from her support.
"The Mom in the Same Boat"- When you feel like you're paddling against a current of broken sleep, diaper rashes, and teething babes, it's nice to know you're not alone. With this friend you can find solutions together for parenting woes, trade-off kid watching to each other for an afternoon of peace, and be a phone call away when you're pacing the house with a cranky babe. Be careful not to compare and compete with this friend and just be there for each other.
"The Glamorous Girlfriend"- This lady is your friend to your other personality. You know, that part of you that would some days trade in her grocery-getter complete with child car-seats and toddler tunes for a styling convertible? This girl can be there with her wardrobe when your partner surprises you with date night and all your clothes smell of baby puke. She may not totally get your mothering-related problems, but you treasure her for the reminder of life before baby. While you boast to her the frequency and colour of your little one's bowel movements, she at least can be a sympathetic ear for you. Different stages in life can be a hard obstacle to maneuver this relationship around, but that's a test of strength for this friendship.
"The Been-There-Done-This Friend"- We all need some reassuring friend to tell us we aren't the first mother in the world to have these problems. A friend to give us advice on something they have already experienced is a great friend to have! Be aware though that not everything that worked for them will work for you, and carry that forward when you are asked advice on something you've been through.

     There are other mom friends that you will never fully be able to connect with, though you may have been friends back before parenthood. There may even be friends that will judge and compare their parenting styles with yours. Guess what? this isn't school. There is no special club that you fail to meet entrance criteria. This is motherhood. You will always get an "A" for choosing what is right for your child. You will always be the most popular in your little one's eyes. So on good days and bad, surround yourself with the best friends for your world--your parenting inner circle. Be as open-minded and supportive as you would want your friends to be. Take what you can from the best parts, and never feel alone in this journey.

Mommy Life as a House

noreply@blogger.com (MamaCBear) — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 19:45:00 +0000

I always thought of myself as a house. I was always what I lived in. It didn't need to be big. It didn't even need to be beautiful. It just needed to be mine. I became what I was meant to be. I built myself a life. I built myself a house.-- George Monroe from Life as a House

Well dear friends, I hope your mug is full! As I sip my delicious brew of java, I am reminded of a conversation I had with some great moms.. Let's think outside the box right now dawlings and picture your house as a metaphor for parenting. When we look at it that way it's easy to see how parenting has changed how we live, where we live, the rooms we live in, even the 'foundation' we build our lives as parents on.

The Framing: What shapes the structure of our houses is dependent on what materials we wish to use. Parenting styles vary but all generally include affection, nurturing, self-esteem, responsibility, and commitment. During tough times your frame may stretch or bend but stays ever-strong. Keeping your frame from wavering against outside influences is often tricky and can be reinforced by the strength of friends and family supporting you.

The Basement: We might as well start from under ground, for that is where we find memories of our own childhood and past events that have shaped us as moms. We take the good and the bad and keep these memories close when deciding how to bring our own children up. Take a moment to dust off some of those memories and reflect.

The Family Room: The most social part of our house is where we deal with the present; friends, family, siblings, parents, and our children. We tend to compare and pass judgment on these people in our lives. How messy is your family room?

The Kitchen: The place of nourishment, literal or figurative. Who is the nourishing figure in your home? Who cooks and cleans this area? The food we choose to give our family matters a great deal. It's very hard today to fuel our bodies with the cleanest foods. For more information on the importance of good food check out this place! http://www.foodmatters.tv

The Bathroom: Topics of health, well-being, vanity, body image, weight, and aging crops up in this room. Grrreat! Now that baby is here we have our body image to fret about! Learning to deal with our own bag of bathroom issues can give way to a more confident promotion of health for our children. Love your scars of motherhood, care about the things that are important and forget the scale!

The Kids' Rooms: You know you love your muchkins, but do they know how much? Admittedly there are days we feel like failures. There are also some days we could shout on the top of a mountain to the surrounding world how much we love our jobs as moms. How do you spend your time in here? As long as you don't sweat the small stuff; praise when your little ones deserve praise, teach them the power of consequence, and show them they are loved, you will always have this room to be proud of building!

The Office: The place you sort your career, finances and ambitions! As a mom you are the CEO of your family. Tasks that need to be done daily are similar to business meetings. Weekly checklist for planning meetings with your clients ( children) are just as important as conference calls in the workplace. Some weeks you will be able to make everything happen, other weeks you may just get one done. You are the boss, you set the schedule. Don't forget the coffee breaks!

The Bedroom: The room with a lot going on! Desire, connection, and rest takes place here. Since baby came into your life, how has this room changed? Balancing your personalities (mom vs. woman) is a constant juggling act. Some families co-sleep with their little ones and can't find the time and place to connect as easily as before baby. Do what works best for you is always my motto, and make sure parents caring for babes don't forget to care for each other!

The Attic: The should-have, could-have, would-have talk.. Yep that's right! self-guilt hangs out up there. It's good to de-clutter this place, but that's easier said than done! My advice is to quiet that inner voice that compares you to other moms--none of us really know what we are doing! Meltdowns happen and being at the top you feel you could have prevented every tantrum--forget about it! Mama said there'd be days like that remember? catchy song and the soundtrack to our lives some days!

So build your house the way you want to. Protect your family in it, grow in it, and reflect on the beauty of it. Your role as a parent takes top priority, so let the rooms get messy from time-to-time and have fun! Be well, and meet me for coffee again!

Matters of Mothering

noreply@blogger.com (MamaCBear) — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 00:09:00 +0000

Do you wonder what other parents do when their little one can't sleep? I hope I'm not the only mom google-ing every possible solution to potty training woes? It's true motherhood is the most important job you'll have, offering constant demands, and infinite rewards. This is our chosen career. We are faced with on-the-job training, no handbook, and some days we just need a girlfriend to listen to us.

In a perfect world, moms would be able to manifest 6 more arms to run our households like a hotel complete with restaurant, maid service, childcare and taxi service. Reality checks in and whether you like it or not society lets you know your expected job tasks. So how do we cope? Balancing family and career comes easier when we ask for help. We can lend a hand to our sleep-deprived friend that is so clearly in need of a hug and a shoulder and someone to say "I've been where you are, it will get better, I'm here to help." This blog was inspired by my weekly social circle of moms that need to hear these such words. It does really take a village to raise a family, and I am thankful to have my 'village' on the dark and light days of motherhood. The network of like-minded moms to turn to has to be the best tool for a new mom. I hope this spot will inspire 'momfidence' by offering help and hope to those that need it. So take a deep breath, pull up a chair, raise your mug, and let's talk.