A Mile A Minute

Make it last

2011-11-11T15:28:00.000+08:00

"Can we just make this work?"

"Sure. I love you.."

Pangarap Lang Kita

2011-09-15T01:02:00.000+08:00

This song has been my anthem lately, right after I saw a bunch of kids do a cover in a gag show. The lyrics were written with a certain playfulness, yet it does not abandon the definite realities that accompany a budding love. Musical arrangement is well done, still with that playfulness, that will make one easily follow and remember its tune.

Probably, at some point in our lives, we could relate to this song's theme and that could be a reason why this song ticks. Remembering that someone we "dreamed" about may ignite an intense gamut of emotions -- euphoria, if you eventually ended up in each other's arms, or devastation, sheer frustration, if the dream just remained as it is, a dream.

Whichever way your story ended, this song and this video will surely make you smile. Embrace whatever emotions are ignited and resuscitated. Those emotions were born because once you dreamed and because once, you loved.

Speed of light

2011-05-11T22:28:00.000+08:00

A few hours after you boarded your southbound plane, I was doing some housekeeping with one of my back packs.

The backpack, a black one, was my constant companion during my frequent travels from here to the neighboring island, where I used to work - you know that. While I did my house - or bagkeeping, I found some candy wrappers, papers, and receipts - and what a surprise I found.

I found our resort bill, dated exactly one year ago, when we decided to have a one day beach getaway in Panglao Island. How time flies really fast.

It made me smile and remember.

It was a Saturday. A friend of ours actually brought up the idea of going to Panglao because she wanted to celebrate her birthday in one of the beach resorts there.But her plan was palpak and way klaro as always, and that incident made me promise to myself and to you that I will never ever bank on her words again.

Nevertheless, we went ahead with the plan, boarded on the 9am trip to Tagbilaran, and while floating at sea, made transactions on the phone regarding our resort accomodation, and had lunch in Chicken Ati-Atihan. I was happy at the chance of being able to show you around some parts of the city. We even called up Melany, a nurse from the hospital where I used to work, and someone who has become a good friend. I called her up so you could talk and get to know the friend I have back on that island.

After lunch, we rushed to the grocery to grab some food and other stuff we would need, then we were fetched by my suking taxi driver Rolly. Then we were off to Panglao Island. Bohol Beach Club to be exact.

We dropped our bags as soon as we opened our room, rested for a while, went around the resort, took some pictures, and finally took a dip into the bluegreen waters of Panglao, on my favorite time of day to take a swim, late afternoon - just before dusk That moment was one of the perfect moments we had, to rival with our Boracay adventure.

How time flies really fast.

Who would know you would be southbound exactly a year after that.

At least we made a lot of memories before you left. I will hold on to these memories until you come home.

Be safe, my love. You have my heart. Always. I hope that will make you smile each time you remember.

Everything

2011-05-08T23:27:00.002+08:00

I could still vividly picture in my mind right now how you looked in that pink Nike cardigan as you lined up at the departure gate. You looked so good, like you always do.

I could still clearly hear your voice in my mind right now, when you called me up from your first stop-over city. It was a totally unexpected call that in less than a second, I literally jumped off from the bed then stood by the window where I believe the signal would be better.

I breezed through the messages on my phone, and read the exchange of almost anything we wanted to share to each other, from the mundane to the most substantial. I don't think anything we shared was ever mundane at all. I think about what we both have been through together all these years and I see that we have come quite so far. The more I think about it, the luckier and more blessed I feel to have found someone like you - someone I love so much and someone who loves me back as me. I love you indescribably, and in spite of who I am, I will always strive to be the best me that I can be for you.

It hasn't even been half a day yet since I last saw you and here I am crying a bucket of tears. I miss you so much.

I tried to sublimate but as I opened the unlocked door, everything seems to be screaming your name. Everything.

I decided to pick up my laundry from the nearby laundry shop. To my surprise, the heavens have sympathized with me and it let out a constant shower - not too strong enough but not so mellow either - it was almost a slow yet moving cry, the intensity could swallow me whole anytime.

I then sorted out my newly washed clothes. I remember you would sweetly volunteer to do that for me. I tried to fight back the tears.

I turn on the television and the show that's on is one which I am not used to watching without you.

(A very deep breath inserted here.)

I gave the dog a bath. Bathing him is not a duel anymore yet I realized it's been a while since I last gave him one because you would gladly bathe him for me while I drop dead tired on the bed fresh from a gruelling hospital duty.

He is looking at me now, surprised and puzzled at the same time, why I am giving out funny noises as I cover my face with the shirt I wore last night when I slept beside you.

I am pretty sure I will cry myself to sleep tonight and I have to make sure I make up some good reason for the people who will be bold enough to ask me why I got swollen eyes.

I miss you so much. I couldn't wait to hear from you, in fact, I am dying to hear from you. I know this is all part of your dream, in fact, our dream. I never thought though it could be this tormenting - excruciating even, that as much as possible, I wouldn't want this to happen again to us.

I will be here waiting and, for you, I have made preparations. I have changed my phone's message alert tone to the high-pitched kind. It now lies silent on the side of the bed, though. I wouldn't want to miss your first message from overseas. I couldn't afford to let a minute pass before I could reply to your message. Tomorrow, I'd make us both a Skype account, as promised.

I believe right now, you are up in the sky. Be safe, my love. On the other hand, I am happy for you, that at last you got your chance to fly. I also want you to discover new places and new cultures. I want you to grow.

As for now, and as for me, I will be here waiting for you. I will be here waiting, and of course, more than ever, loving you, even from seas and mountains away.

A Pet's Ten Commandments

2011-03-04T13:16:00.000+08:00

This is an excerpt from the e-mail my aunt sent me last year. Faced with an impending separation from my dog, whom I will be saying goodbye to maybe at the end of this month, (I have no other choice left but to send him to live with my parents), I felt my heart being wrung as I read these commandments. It felt like Cody was directly speaking to me.

1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is likely to be painful.

2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.

3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.

4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only you.

5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me.

6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.

7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.

8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or weak.

9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.

10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so.

Update: Fortunately, (and, yes! - thank God) the land lady did not pester me anymore about sending my dog to our place in Mindanao. Cody is still with me up to this very moment. And boy, after a long day, in the chaotic and destructive state of things that I am finding myself in, he turns my world around when he eagerly meets me, with his tail wagging so eagerly, as I open the door. Yes Cody, I will take care of you, more than the way you are taking care of me - though you do that without really knowing.)

How do you solve a problem like . . .

2011-02-24T22:31:00.000+08:00

William Cody???!!!!!

This guy's turning a year old at the end of this month. I just love him to bits even if he kind of pretends - so many times - to read my books by chewing on them and shredding them to bits. This dog knows my Achilles heel, like the back of his paw, when he looks at me in the eye, with those big black marble eyes, after he does some mischief again, like chewing on the furniture, the edge of the table, and even some of my underwears! Bad cheetah! It breaks my heart everytime I leave him alone every morning as I go to work at the hospital. But at the end of the day, he seems to forget that he was locked up whole day, and jumps with indescribable elation that I have come home. He may equate my arrival to another piece of Denta-Stix but I don't care about that. This dog only has me, and I, him. That's all that really matters.

A Fashion Photography Show and A Car Show All in One Day

2010-11-04T01:35:00.000+08:00

October 10, 2010. I was actually on my way to SM City Cebu to take pictures of the Car Show. I decided to pass by Ayala Center since there was an available PUJ route there going to SM.

Upon arriving at Ayala, I was surprised to see a lot of people in costumes. I was more than delighted to find out that there was a Fashion Photography Show going on. So while my friend B decided to have a quick shopping for some beauty accessories, I decided to join the bunch of shutter happy people and I clicked and clicked away like there was no tomorrow.

MYSTERIOUS GIRL. In a crowd of costume players, this girl caught my eye. Until now, as I stare at her pictures, I still feel it. I know it - that there is something about her. If you find her, please do tell me, because I and my friends are dying to have a photoshoot with her.

Aside from my mysterious girl, here are some of the other costume players.

Here's another model I love. All of the players were happy to pose for the cameras. This model was very friendly and pretty accommodating like Mysterious Girl. (Yes, I haven't gotten over that girl yet. Probably, I never will unless I have another photoshoot with her. )

I love the way she/he projects. She/He has the makings of a model. And I have to admit, she/he has the makings of a model, like Mysterious Girl.

I gave this model and my mysterious girl the link to this blog. I hope they don't forget my blog's address. I hope they will find these. So I could find them.

I wish I got their number. I feel like the man in Script's Man Who Can't Be Moved, hoping to find this model and Mysterious Girl, but not really knowing how to, or where to start. I hope they find their way to my blog.

The Car Show was an added bonus to the shutter addict in me, after satisfying my shooter instincts at the Fashion Photography Show. Enjoy the rest of the photos.

MY FIRST PHOTOSHOOT: A Reunion

2010-10-06T10:41:00.000+08:00

After a long lay-off, I have finally embraced my love for photography. Again.

I bought myself my dream DSLR camera, and a week after, went on a shooting rampage with two good friends whom I call my Shutter Buddies. (We are on Facebook by the way. Please feel free to visit and like our page, and leave your comments, too.)

Our first photoshoot was held last September 28. My group actually just requested the couple that we join their official photographer during their pre-nuptial shoot. Here are some of my shots. This pre-nuptial shoot had marked my reunion with my love for photography and I don't see any hint that I will ever be separated from this love again.

Raymond and Kae

Storks and Pink Flamingoes

2010-09-09T16:51:00.002+08:00

Last March, it was so nice of my aunt to tour her sister - that's my mom - and me at The Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida.

This is one of my most memorable experiences while I was in the United States.

There are four theme parks at The Walt Disney World in Florida, namely The EPCOT Center, The MGM Studios, The Animal Kingdom, and The Magic Kingdom.

One whole day, most of the time, is not enough to enjoy all the activities and to explore all the attractions of a certain Disney Theme park. Probaby, it's more like you really don't recover from a certain state of excitement when you are inside a Walt Disney Theme Park. Of course, aside from the very fact that it's Walt Disney!

As a child, I have always been mesmerized by Disney stuff, I have heard of the existence of Disney Theme Parks and wished I could be there, and never did I expect it to become a reality.

The parks usually open at 9am and close at 5pm and that is the actual time you spend inside the park to enjoy the rides, the shows, and the sights. As much as possible, you want to try everything in the park from the food to the rides and the shows. You want to explore its sights as far as where your feet will lead you, and as far as where your feet will yell "Stop!" because they are aching like hell.

I realized that being inside a Walt Disney Theme Parks is like experiencing snow for the first time. I felt like a child again. I let go of being an adult and enjoyed. Even my mom did. Who would ever think that a poor child, the youngest in a brood of eight, who probably never knew about the existence of anything that is related to Walt Disney, and who used to sell bundles of kangkong when she was in her elementary years, would come to America not to work but to simply enjoy the American life. Imagine what exhilaration that must be for my beloved mother.

No one is ever too old or too young to enjoy The Walt Disney World.

At the end of the day, we, tourists aging from 2 to 95 years old, exited the gates tired and exhausted but brimming with satisfaction. It was truly an experience of a lifetime.

Anyway, we visited the EPCOT Center first, and then the Animal Kingdom. We spent one whole day in each theme park. (I would like to think that we reserved the other two theme parks for a future return trip to the Sunshine State. LOL!)

EPCOT stands for Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow. I have shared some of my photos at EPCOT in my previous posts. (Click here to see some of the pictures.) This time I am sharing to you some of my pictures in The Animal Kingdom. For animal lovers, and yes, maybe the not-so-animal-lovers, I hope you will enjoy this first serving of Animal Kingdom pictures of storks and flamingoes at the Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida.

Mother and Me.

NOW TELL ME, HOW DO YOU EXACTLY DO THAT? These shy flamingoes could surely give us some lessons on how to curl our necks that way. An American White Ibis looks on as the pink flamingoes show off the contortionists that they are.

SEE WHAT TWO B'S (BACTERIA AND BETA CAROTENE) CAN DO. Adult flamingoes will have plumage that range from light pink to bright red due to aqueous bacteria and beta carotene obtained from their food supply. Here are two pink flamingoes sharing the water and the view with two American White Ibises.

OOOHHHLALA. A well-fed, healthy flamingo is more vibrantly coloured and thus a more desirable mate.

CONTEST. Flamingos often stand on one leg, the other tucked beneath the body. The reason for this behavior is not fully understood. Some suggest that the flamingo, like some other animals, has the ability to have half of its body go into a state of sleep, and when one side is rested, the flamingo will swap legs and then let the other half sleep,[citation needed] but this has not been proven. Recent research has indicated that standing on one leg may allow the birds to conserve more body heat, given that they spend a significant amount of time wading in cold water. (From Wikipedia)

FLAMINGOES EVERYHWERE. A white or pale flamingo, however, is usually unhealthy or malnourished. Captive flamingoes (like these ones) are a notable exception; many turn a pale pink as they are not fed carotene at levels comparable to the wild. This is changing as more zoos begin to add prawns and other supplements to the diets of their flamingos. (From Wikipedia)

Stork the bird, not the candy.

Simple but elegant.

Tips in going to residency

2010-09-05T15:06:00.001+08:00

In the past few months, I have been contemplating to go back to residency training here in Cebu City, after not successfully matching for a residency position in the United States.

The prevailing question was, "Where in Cebu City?" "Which training hospital?"

Of course, I did not count out Cebu Velez General Hospital as one of my choices, since it is where I did one year of residency in Internal Medicine. However, what-if questions were flooding my mind big time. I had to have a back-up plan. There were three more hospitals to choose from - Chong Hua Hospital, Cebu Doctors' University Hospital, and Perpetual Succour Hospital.

The question of where to train might seem easy to answer but it actually isn't. The incoming resident, who actually is an incoming slave of the residency training program has to consider a lot of factors, and I can't begin to describe how enormous the considerations are.

Thus, day and night, I was haunted by that question which demanded an immediate answer. I had to decide so I could move on. But I was utterly confused.

Then here comes my doting mother, who probably saw and felt how burdened I was. In the goal of helping her daughter, she gave me an advice, "Sa Cebu Doc na lang, Shing. Kay one ride ra. (Go for Cebu Doctors', Shing. Anyway, it's one ride away from where you live.)"

I did not react one bit. But inside my head, I had a wide grin. My mom is not from the medical field so I found her gesture of advising me as something sweet and heartwarming. Even if she did not know what she was actually saying.

Location of the training hospital is one of the last things an incoming slave, uhm, resident considers, and probably, he or she will never give it a thought at all. I mean, once a doctor makes up his mind which city or hospital to train in, the question of commuting to the training hospital comes way down the list. The mantra is, choose the city or the hospital where you want to train, and you simply look for a pad or a place to stay that is as much as possible, not so distant from that hospital. My mother happened to consider it the other way around.

Hehehe. Mothers. They have their own way. Her advice might not have served a major (major) point in the decision that I made but surely, she made me smile and made me feel loved as always. With what she said I knew - though it didn't show - that deep in her thoughts, she was also grappling for the answer to the ultimate question. Deep inside, she was sharing my yoke.

This happened a few months ago but each time I recall this scene with my mother, it never fails to make me smile. Mothers. They really have their own way. I love you, Mom.

Believe

2010-08-30T00:49:00.001+08:00

I just can't believe it.

August is about to say goodbye but this probably will only be the only entry I will be posting. I can't believe it because the reason behind the silence is actually not because I ran out of topics to write about. In fact, my mind was and is overflowing with ideas, realizations, and experiences to write about.

Just before August arrived, I successfully squeezed in some alone time so that I could jot down these stuff. My idea of alone time is having coffee all by myself in a nearby coffee shop, while browsing the internet with Max's help. Unfortunately I only got successful in the part of squeezing in and the jotting down part just went ppffffffffttt. What I did then was only drink my coffee and the afternoon away while doing a sort of make-up reading of my favorite sites on the web. I might have to do better next time.

I just can't believe it.

Two major, major fiascos for our country in two consecutive days. First, the dreaded hostage drama at the Quezon City Memorial Circle last August 23, and second, the missed hit made by our Miss Universe bet, Venus Raj, the following day. I don't really want to talk about it and oversaturate the topic. It has been talked about enough but I admit I am tempted to write about Miss Venus Raj, particularly about her answer during the Q & A Portion in the recently held Miss Universe 2010 Pageant in Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas. I will probably write about that in my future posts. It amuses me that because of this real Filipina beauty, it is somehow accepted these days when you say, "Major, major" and not get corrected for saying so. As I write this entry, the replay of the pageant is actually on television. I know I will kind of dread the Q & A Portion but well, there is no need denying that we are still happy for Venus' win (which follows Miriam Quiambao's win, eleven years ago), even if a little voice antagonizes this happiness, and says that the Miss Universe 2010 Crown was just within Venus' reach. Still, there is no denying that we are all proud of this beautiful lady who's got a 22-inch waistline, something which most of us could only dream about in our whole lifetime.

As for the hostage drama which was witnessed by probably three-fourths of the world's population, well, the repercussions are just beginning to manifest. I was initially furious over that late former police officer who left our lives as Filipinos way miserable than when he was still around. My anger has simmered down somehow but I am afraid it has not evaporated yet. It is sad to know that the very venue where the new president of this republic had his inauguration is the very venue where the hostage drama took place. The venue where dreams just got resuscitated becomes the same venue where these dreams might have to meet their ultimate death.

On the happier side, I just can't believe it.

I just got back from Dumaguete City to witness the festivities of the the 109th Silliman University Founders' Day. There were a few mishaps and challenges on my way to Dumaguete and even on my way back to Cebu but I don't mind at all. When I got down from the fastcraft which ferried us from Cebu Province to the island of Negros Oriental, I had a feeling of coming home. Really. With that, I just can't believe that it took me four years before really taking time and making plans to revisit this neighboring city which for me is a treasure chest of memories. I will tell you about this trip in my upcoming posts. That's a guarantee.

As for now, though things that recently took place seem unbelievable, I just might have to convince myself to just start believing that indeed, they happened. That's life, anyway. It never runs out of surprises. Never.

What doctors and celebrities share in common

2010-07-22T16:25:00.204+08:00

This has been inside my head for so long that I need to get it all out. Like, now.

A text conversation with a college buddy last week finally pulled the trigger.  Like me, she is a doctor now. We were merely catching up on each other's lives when we reached the topic of 'raket.' In case you are not from this side of the planet, raket is a Tagalog slang for anything that you earn from. It could be your present job, it could be a big- or a small-scale business. In our case, doctors, it could mean where one is going on duty, or the hospital/company where one is currently affiliated with or working in.

My college buddy was asking if I could give her some additional raket while she waits for her stint in Palawan next month. I jokingly told her what she needs the additional raket for when she's got more than enough. To which she replied, "Mura bya ta'g artista - 'No show, No business'" ('Cause you know, we doctors are like celebrities - No show, no business.)

Then I thought, exactly.

Apparently, we share a few more things with celebrities. The comparison may put you in awe, but please do take note, that while celebrities are busy with the performing arts, we physicians are dealing with life here.

1. No show, no business. Doctors don't have bread if referrals or patients stop pouring in, or if we don't go on duty and try to skip clinics hours. Pretty much like celebrities who won't earn a buck or two, if they don't have any project.

2. We are judged by appearance.  In the third world, doctors occupy a high socio-economic stratum and therefore most people would expect doctors to dress in clothing that is top-of-the line, wear extravagant jewelry, and drive a car . In a way, doctors have to look very good, the way celebrities strive to look good. Like them, we are selling ourselves. Long before the doctor opens his mouth and explains the patient's case, the patient or the patient's family most of the time already has a first impression of the doctor in their midst. This is a reality because patients look up to their doctors. Even if a doctor is the most bright in his specialty but he/she dresses like a pauper, he/she is deemed to be less credible by patients and the community as a whole, and may even be snobbed and encounter raised eyebrows if he/she declares that he/she is a doctor.

3. We are not spared from chismis. Chismis is the Tagalog slang for rumors. Every celebrity has a dark secret just as every doctor hides a skeleton in his closet. No matter how busy things are in the hospital, it amazes me that people inside it still have the time to spread rumors about doctors. The rumormongers painstakingly dig deeper into our white coats to be able to conclude that those who wear it are not as white as all.   Interestingly, feasting on chismis helps us doctors stay awake specially when we perform surgical procedures in the wee hours of the night. Actually only two topics keep surgeons from drooping while doing an operation - sex and chismis.

4. We work long hours. Yes, we do. If celebrities spend nights to shoot a movie or tape a show, finishing only in the morning, we doctors can go on 24-hour duty for ten or fifteen days. During the evenings of our duty days, we alternately slip into wakefulness and sleep since patients come in such an unpredictable manner. Others come in early while some would choose to come in after midnight, or at dawn - sometimes for health complaints which bothered them for months.   As we wake up and go back to sleep, we also alternately turn our brains on and off as we wring it to come up with the correct diagnosis for a patient who, let's say, came in for consult at 3 a.m. in the morning. Sometimes, even sleep is not completely ours to enjoy when we are on duty. Doctors are probably the lightest sleepers in the world for instantly waking up once the phone rings.

5. We are thriving in a dog-eat-dog world. Well, I guess I need not say more about this.

6. We gain sponsorships. An inherent reality in a dog-eat-dog world is to scratch each other's backs. If celebrities endorse a product which they trust, doctors do that in a way when we prescribe medications. I think there is nothing wrong with this as long as the doctor believes in the product that he or she is endorsing - that it is the appropriate drug that could cure and control the patient's condition - and is not merely doing it for the perks that come with it.

7. Everyone at work has to know our whereabouts almost all the time. This is for the sake of our patients, and for celebrities, for the sake of their fans.

8. We have to schedule our vacations way ahead of time. Doctors are just too busy that we will be compromising our patients' welfare if we decide to make a spur-of-the-moment decision of flying to Timbuktu the following day.

9. We strive to sharpen our skills. We keep on moving forward. Celebrities attend workshops to hone their acting skills.  Doctors attend conferences to update ourselves with the latest development in the medical world. Medicine is an art and a science, but what most people don't know, is that it is a science that continues to evolve.

10. We are not perfect. We are still humans, remember. Just like celebrities, we doctors trip and stumble along the way, but we always strive to get up from where we fell and give our best to digest the lesson that life wants us to learn out of a certain experience.

Then I thought, exactly.

My techy baby

2010-07-13T15:55:00.002+08:00

Uh-oh, Cody has just discovered the internet.

Cody (with the widest grin ever): Mom, this is really fun!

Me: Cody, you've spent the whole day in front of the computer. That's more than enough for today, baby.

   Cody: But I'm tired of being a lap dog. I'm tired of just lying there on your lap, waiting for you to finish whatever you are doing and tell me it's time to go to bed. Now I'm going to surf the net as much as I want to and no one can stop me. Not even you, Mom.

   Me with my thought bubble: Brat in the house!


   But let's give him a chance. After all, Cody is just a baby :-)

"Lagi, kita na ko'g "Eclipse'" (Yes, I have seen the movie 'Eclipse')

2010-07-03T18:48:00.001+08:00

But I am not going to wirte a movie review about it.

My 'Eclipse' movie experience was decorated with the screams of the audience each time Jacob (Taylor Lautner) flaunted his chiseled physique.

Then there were the muffled comments when Edward (Robert Pattinson) kissed Bella (Kristen Stewart) just before Jacob gave her a big bear hug.

Now who could forget the scene where the three of them spent the night camping. Bella was tortured by the biting cold. Jacob came to the rescue, telling Edward to face the truth that he was hotter than him. Jacob warmed Bella by hugging her, perhaps he was the best human blanket on the face of the earth then.

But the most unforgettable part for me was not the movie but the side comments I heard from the people sitting near me while watching the movie.

So hear are the Top 3 Side Comments for the Movie Eclipse, which imprinted on me even as I walked out of the movie theater.

1. Jacob just finished kissing Bella, when she asked him to. Then Bella's face was focused on the screen, then one viewer - who's obviously for Edward and Bella - goes, "Bigaon gyud ai, nagpula lang ang ngabil!"

2. After that kiss, Bella approached Edward, in an attempt to explain what just happened, then another viewer - this time she's for Jacob and Bella - goes, "Pagbulag namo oi!"

3. But this one is the grandest side comment of them all, courtesy of two girls who happened to sit beside me then. I was not with them . We were just serendipitously seated near each other. Anyway, right after the controversial kiss, Bella was running back to Edward, then the conversation of the two girls grabbed my attention. Girl No.1 seemed worried and said, "Hala, nakakita si Edward??" Girl No. 2 just said, "Duh, makabasa gani sya sa iya thoughts!" She probably wanted to hit her friend on the head for sitting in front of the big screen for an hour without knowing that.

What is your soul type?

2010-06-28T20:12:00.000+08:00

In psychic Ainslie McLeod's new book, The Instruction, she tells us that we have a central soul type which describes the core of who we really are and what we are intended to do.

With all the personality tests, showing up on social networks in the internet, I guess it will also be nice to know our soul type. Why do we behave in a certain way? Why are we driven to do certain things? Why do we deal with people in a certain manner? All these are defined by our soul type.

You are less than ten minutes away from knowing your soul type. McLeod shares to us a quiz to know this.

Click this link and get to know yourself deeper as you know the answer to the question, "What soul type are you?"

When humans and animals co-exist peacefully and merrily

2010-06-27T23:16:00.000+08:00

I find this video of a collie playing with a toddler, trying to entertain the human - and also entertaining himself in the process - really cute and hilarious that I immediately wanted to post it on this blog.

Two things I thought about when I first saw the video:

1. Probably, the babysitter was late. When she finally arrives, she'll realize she'd have to make a run for her money.

2. Humans and animals can co-exist peacefully and merrily - and really merrily at that.

The roof is falling!

2010-06-15T11:40:00.000+08:00

If indeed the roof is falling, my nephew Leonard gets himself ready and has already found a place to hide.

The effect of global warming

2010-06-09T01:36:00.001+08:00

Now that he is in town, Al Gore should see this picture of my dog, Cody. This will definitely give him a lot more to talk about.

That's Cody sleeping soundly while hugging a pack of ice, while we were on our way to Butuan City from Surigao City.

He was jittery before this, and I thought he wanted to pee or something so I asked the driver to pull over for a while. Unfortunately, Cody didn't pee a drop.

I thought of buying some ice for him and voila! - since this pack of ice is a long one, he literally sprawled on top of it while licking the part of the ice near his face. A few minutes after that, he was off to dreamland.

My name is William Cody

2010-06-04T22:45:00.000+08:00

My name is William Cody. I am a Shih Tzu and I was born last Februrary 28, 2010. I was adopted by my mom a week short before I turned three months old. Our first adventure together was travelling to her great grandparents' hometown to attend the 8th ABLA Grand Reunion. My mom made me experience how it was to travel by sea, land, and air. It was a bit stressful but overall, I enjoyed the experience, specially of meeting my new family, and spending time with them at the beach and at home.

With Ate Ella, my mom's niece.

Tired from my overnight boatride from Cebu City to Surigao City then an hour road trip to Malimono, Surigao del Norte

After my short power nap, I joined my mom in the ABLA Walkathon.

Perked up from my drowy state by Kuya Coy-Coy.

With Ate Johnsie, my mom's cousin who's more like a second younger sister to her.

With Tita Johnsie, while mom was busy taking part in the medical mission.

With Tito Bem.

With Tita Johnsie, Tita Christy Ann, Ate Nicole, and Tita Leda

With Kuya Yoc-Yoc, during our stop over at Surigao City on the way to Butuan City.

An open letter to Noynoy

2010-06-02T20:15:00.001+08:00

HINDSIGHT by F. Sionil Jose

Philippine Star

Dear Noynoy,

You are now swamped with suggestions and advice, but just the same, I hope you’ll have time to read what this octogenarian has to say.

You were not my choice in the last election but since our people have spoken, we must now support you and pray that you prevail. But first, I must remind you of the stern reality that your drumbeaters ignore: you have no noble legacy from your forbears. It is now your arduous job to create one yourself in the six years that you will be the single most powerful Filipino. Six years is too short a time — the experience in our part of the world is that it takes at least one generation — 25 years — for a sick nation to recover and prosper. But you can begin that happy process of healing.

Bear in mind that the past weighs heavily on all of us because of the many contradictions in it that we have not resolved, whose resolutions would strengthen us as a nation. This past is now your burden, too. Let us start with the fact that your grandfather collaborated with the Japanese. Your father was deeply aware of this, its stigma, its possibilities. He did not leave any legacy because he did not become president. He was a brilliant and courageous politician. He was an enterprising journalist; he had friends in journalism who can attest to his effulgent vision, who did not profit from his friendship, among them Nestor Mata, Gregorio Brillantes — you may consult them. I cannot say I did not profit — he bought many books from my shop and when he was in Marcos’s prison, your mother brought books from my shop to him.

Forgive me for giving you this unsolicited advice. First, beware of hubris; you are surrounded by panderers who will tell you what is nice to hear. You need to be humble always and heed your conscience. When Caesar was paraded in ancient Rome before the cheering multitudes, there was always a man chanting behind him: “Remember, you are mortal.”

I say to you, remember, the poor — some of them in your own hacienda — will be your ultimate judge.

From your comfortable and privileged cocoon, you know so little of our country and people. Seek the help of the best — and the best do not normally want to work in government and neither will they approach you. You have to seek them.

Be the revolutionary your father wanted to be and don’t be scared or wary of the word “revolution.” It need not be always bloody. EDSA I was not. Your father wanted to destroy the most formidable obstacle to our progress — the Oligarchy to which you and your family belong. To succeed, you have to betray your class. If you cannot smash the oligarchy, at least strive to have their wealth develop this country, that they bring back the billions they stashed abroad. You cannot do this in six years, but you can begin.

Prosecute the crooks. It is difficult, thankless and even dangerous to do this. Your mother did not do it — she did not jail Imelda who was the partner in that conjugal dictatorship that plundered this nation. Watch her children — they were much too young to have participated in that looting but they are heirs to the billions which their parents stashed abroad. Now the Marcoses are on the high road to power, gloating, snickering at our credulity and despicable amnesia.

You know the biggest crooks in and out of government, those powerful smugglers, thieves, tax cheats — all you really need is guts to clobber them. Your father had lots of it — I hope he passed on to you most of it.

And most of all, now that you have the muscle to do it, go after your father’s killers. Blood and duty compel you to do so. Cory was only his wife — you are the anointed and only son. Your regime will be measured by how you resolve this most blatant crime that robbed us of a true leader.

And, finally, your mother. We loved her — she united us in ousting an abominable dictator. But she, too, did not leave a shining legacy for her presidency was a disaster. She announced a revolutionary government but did nothing revolutionary. She promised land reform but did not do it. And most grievous of all — she transformed the EDSA I revolution into a restoration of the oligarchy.

She became president only because her husband was murdered and you became president elect only because your mother died. Still, you are your father’s son and may you now — for the good of this country and people — scale the heights he and your mother never reached.

I am 85 and how I despair over how three generations of our leaders failed! Before I go, please let me see this unhappy country begin to be a much better place than the garbage dump our leaders and people have made it. You can be this long awaited messiah but only if you are brave enough and wise enough to redeem your father’s aborted promise.

Hopefully yours,

F. Sionil Jose

To Skybound

2010-06-02T16:13:00.007+08:00

Indeed, news has its own wings. It flew right in the middle of the ocean and caught up with me. It boldly awakened me from deep slumber.

I did not search or ask for it, but the news was served on a golden platter fit only for a king.

You have achieved your dream, I was told. You are finally cruising through the vast skies that hover the seas on which I am sailing.

My heart skipped a beat but managed to regain its composure. It reacted naturally. It was happy for you.

But my heart is not an amnesiac, though I love to say in jest that it is.

It jumped for joy for a millionth of a second, but it did not last any longer than that. Not even longer than a hiccup.

The reason for that is because the pain still remains. Yes it does, even though I am over you. You may question the swelling contradictions but I am living proof that that is possible.

I am over from wanting you, I am over from desires of having talks with you over coffee. I have long been desensitized from the chocolate high that abounds when thoughts and scenes of honeymoon bliss revisit my thoughts. Thoughts of you and memories of us have lost their effect on me. I am finally taking the step towards apathy, which is actually the opposite of love.

I remember before when you first failed, you criticized me for believing in you too much, that you can make it. You were not as pleased that I believed in you because you also started to believe in yourself and started to nurture the seeds of confidence - exactly what I wanted you to do. Instead you criticized me, to the point of almost blaming me for fueling you to chase your dreams. Perhaps you did not see the potential that you had and that you are. At one point, you told me in a phone conversation that you have decided to put that dream aside and shelve it.

Then this news. If I were driving when I heard this, I'd probably make an unexpected swerve. If I were sipping a cup of coffee, I'd probably choke a bit. But only all for a while.

I am left all by myself in this groggy city. I will be bumping at your so-called friends whether or not I like it. I am not perfect but I will try to work even more on being forgiving towards them, the way I am trying to work on forgiving myself. But unlike before, I will not be going out of my way anymore. If paths cross, I mean theirs and mine, and when it is too late to turn back, I will just look away. I am deeply hurt and badly scarred.

I will try to be kind to them in spite of the stories that they have woven, stories which are actually lies of make believe, which they have come to believe themselves. They had embraced delusion so earnestly that they came to blatantly tamper with the truth, something which you also did.

And you never granted me - not even a single chance - to explain my side and to clarify things and illuminate the dark side with the glaring truth. The truth which you are afraid of. The truth which makes you cringe.

Still, I wish you well in your travels, and in all your future endeavors.

As for me here, I will be free to roam the streets below while you are cruising the skies above. I will be free of any worries that I will find your face in the crowd. I will be free to roam the streets, this time with a smile on my face. Indeed, God has provided us our own places under the sun, and I am thankful to Him for that.

Let me end this note with an unsolicited advice. Don't get into something which you are unsure of standing up for in the future. Don't pretend to be brave only to prove that you are a coward. Put your heart into whatever endeavor you have decided to take and you will get the sincerity that you put in. Live your prayers. Do not treat praying as routine, as a mere recitation of your prayer books. Live your prayers. Do not depend on your physical attributes for those are fleeting with time. As one gets older, it doesn't matter how he or she looks. What matters is who he or she really is as a person.

Fix yourself. You have to do it alone now and I am really unsure if somebody will be as committed as I am to help you do that. Except your family. That is if they know about this affliction. That is if they have an idea of how broken you are deep inside. Regain yourself - so that you can finally soar freely through the skies with wings spread open wide - without worries.

Till then, I wish you well.

(Buried and Unburied from the Graveyard of the Past. Then buried again, this time, on the Graveyard of Oblivion.)

Living on a backpack

2010-06-02T02:07:00.002+08:00

Image from this site.

Like most of my fellow residents in the hospital where I work in, I am living in a backpack.

We say this in jest - that we bring our houses along with us, like turtles do, each time we cross the seas separating the islands of Bohol and Cebu - but there is actually a truth in it. In fact, we cross the islands every two days, and you could only imagine how the routine of crossing the islands has become an innate part of our system, not to mention the urgent need to bring our turtlehouses along with us.

You would think that my bag would be as light as a feather considering the two days that I spend at work. Unfortunately for me, it isn't. Ever since my university days in college, I was already a heavy traveller then especially during semestral breaks when I go home to Mindanao. Being a light traveller has always been a challenge for me. Even more so now, that my backpack is practically my house-on-the-go, and I just need to have some things in it, things which I do not necessarily use on a frequent basis but I got to have them in my bag, because I know those will come in handy anytime and when that anytime comes, and I don't have what I need, my obsessive-compulsive self goes berserk.

Of course, those some things share a space with the necessary stuff I need to have in my bag, or else all hell would break lose.

I will allow you to take a peek and get an idea of the Top Ten Things you will find almost always in my house-on-the go:

1. Max, my HP Mini. Who can live without a computer these days. I guess not me. There are duty days though when I don't use my HP Mini (since at times, duty hours are way busy) but I just got to have Max in my bag in case I need to surf on the web, write e-mails, play computer games, and write raw drafts for this blog.

2. Power source for Max, two different phone chargers, and my Ipod charger. You would find these in a separate compartment in my backpack. The price we have to pay for technology is to bring wires almost everytime to almost everywhere we go.

3. My Starbucks Planner, my notebook for my medical notes, my Medicine Blue book, and sometimes a bundle of receipts of my purchases which I try to record on a daily basis.

4. The book I am trying to read at the moment. As of this time, this would be Abraham Vergese's Cutting for Stone. As if the things listed in No. 3 aren't already too much to read.

5. A scrub suit, a casual top/s, handkerchiefs, and undergarments. Actually a lot of undergarments in case an operation or a scene at the ER becomes messy.

6. Single serving packs of Milo, 3-in-1 Nescafe Coffee, a pillbox which contains vitamins, a pack of antacids and a bottle of over-the-counter pain relievers. Occasionally you will find an apple, or a pack of corn chips.

7. Sunglasses. I always make it a point to wear one each time I expose myself to the sun. As musch as possible I don't want to have those lines that surround the eyes. Me don't want crow's feet, you know.

8. Body lotion, facial night cream, petroleum jelly, my self-concocted anti-pimple/facial cleansing solution, a small bottle of VS cologne.

9. My Kikay Bag with all the toiletries and beauty tips I need.

10. A mini-tape measure for measuring tasks I need to do while examining the patient and A teeny-weeny stamp pad with my name on it.

What's in your bag? I realized that all of us are actually living in a bag but I feel that mine is just a little special in the sense that it crosses the sea every two days. In a way, my backpack is a bit overworked.

We are all living in a bag, whether it's a pouch, a small-sized backpack, a shoulder bag, or simply a sling bag - which reminds me of the one I have which I have been using for some time now. It crosses the sea with me every two days too. Wanna know what's inside it? Well, that would be another story and would take an entirely different entry.

Some explaining to do

2010-05-25T00:14:00.003+08:00

Two major events took place in my life recently, explaining my absence from the blogosphere for quite a while.

For friends who visited this site and cared to drop by even for just a few minutes, my thanks to you. Allow me to give the reason behind my semi-Sabbatical.

First, I got myself a dog. Actually this is my second time to get one.

My first dog, which I got around three years ago, was a cross between a golden retriever dad and a terrier mom. I named him Andy. Andy inherited his dad's build and so at a mere three months of age he was quite large for me to handle. Sadly, I had to ask a male cousin of mine (who shares with me a love for animals) to take care of him. I had no doubt that Andy was well taken cared of by my cousin and his family. When we had a chance to gather, he would tell me how he takes care of Andy and how Andy enjoys the life at the suburb with a family.

Andy went home to animal heaven a few months ago after living a happy life.

My new dog is a Shih Tzu. When I let Andy go, I have decided to get a small breed dog next time - the reason I got William Cody.

I met him first outside the mall which is situated at the heart of this city. Cody is among those puppies sold at the bangketa at the foot of the overpass, a perfect spot exposed to all the elements, namely, dust, smoke from cigarette smokers who pass by, smoke from vehicles, water when it rains, and the scorching heat of the sun.

Before I met him, I have been burning the midnight candle on the internet, browsing through sites which advertise pets for sale. I was even tempted to get a chihuahua but somehow that did not push through.

Not until I saw William Cody that hot Sunday morning.

I just finished doing my grocery at the nearby supermarket when I asked B to accompany me to visit that spot outside the supermarket where dogs are displayed and are for sale. She agreed and so we went.

Then there was Cody. I felt that if I could read his mind each time a prospective buyer approaches them, it would have been something like he had to give his best shot and display his sweetest gesture, so he would be scooped out from the crowd of puppies that he was in, and forever be free from the dog seller.

Cody did just that. He was standing on top of a cage and it amazed me then that he stayed put and never attempted to jump from the cage to the ground below. (I realized later that it was because he is just a baby and did not even know how to jump from the cage down.) He looked up to me with those big black eyes and tried to capture my scent by sniffing as much as he could. When I reached out to touch him, he cradled his head in the palm of my hand, as if savoring the first time his coat and my skin touched, and as if saying, "At last you have arrived and you found me."

He just stole my heart without the slightest effort, and so I brought him home with me approximately half an hour from the time we first met. He will be three months old next week but his size is equivalent to that of Andy's when Andy was yet a month old.

The second major event had to do with my family. I attended the 8th Grand Reunion of the ABLA Clan which was held in Malimono, Surigao del Norte.

ABLA actually stands for the names of my great grandparents, Antonio Bonotan and Lorenza Ave. They had five daughters and my grandmother was one of them. Our reunion is held every two years and it is just amazing to ponder that each and every member of our clan really tries his/her very best to find time to attend the reunion.

My great grandparents started out and built their family in this sleepy town in Surigao del Norte called Malimono. Unfortunately, the place has not changed much since the time of my great grandparents. I feel that it is still as sleepy as it was before and sometimes I am tempted to think that the government has forgotten this place and its people. The roads are a patchwork of the concrete and of the rough undeveloped type. Not all of the households have electricity and the water supply is straight from springs. Wifi is almost never heard of here and only a chosen few have a mobile phone which is an ordinary luxury for the urbanized.

However in spite of all those technological drawbacks, my relatives, who come from all over the archipelago, and a handful scattered around the globe, still pack their bags to fly or sail or ride their way here, the land of our forefathers. Malimono has its spell working on all of us - and Cody is not an exception.

I sailed to Surigao overnight with Cody in tow, then even before the break of dawn, we rode on a jeepney for an hour, to go to Malimono where the reunion was held, particularly at Punta Beach, an untouched paradise on this side of the world, which holds a lot of memories for the ABLA Clan - I will tell you why very soon.

This is the explanation that I feel I owe all of you. Next time, let me explain it all to you again, not only in words, but this time, in pictures.

Thank you my dear friends and followers.

The elections and all that jazz

2010-05-12T00:24:00.001+08:00

While the rest of the Filipino people were on their toes when May 10, 2010 made a grand entrance, I was staring at a bleeding uterus. (Which this time had a baby inside it, whew!)

As usual, I was stuck at the hospital but in spite of being confined within the walls of the Operating Theater, the upcoming elections, which was then just a few hours away, still managed to manifest its presence, or shall I say, its reality, sometimes even overpowering the the smell of fresh blood oozing out from the arteries of the uterus which we have just finished slicing.

We peppered our sutures and incisions with conversations about the upcoming elections and while we were busy doing so, an unusually long line of customers were outside the burger joint which stands in front of the hospital. This is an unusual scene because this happened hours after midnight - a glaring proof that people somehow had a lot of money to burn that time, and if you are Filipino, you would know why, although we do not openly talk about it.

Here is my take on the drama of Philippine politics after the historic and first ever automated elections.

1. A lot of glitches hounded the voters and the volunteers at the voting precincts. The system of voting was quite disorganized and even the set-ups at the precincts added to the problem. I hope that the next automated elections will be more organized.

2. The Noy-Bi tandem is leading as I write this entry. I admire the statesmanship exhibited by Sen. Manny Villar, Defense Secretary Gibo Teodoro, and Sen. Dick Gordon, when they all conceded to Sen. Benigno "Noynoy" Aquino III. With the situation that our country is in today, we do not need sour losers.

3. I am waiting for Erap to concede though. Noynoy already has a commanding lead with Erap as far second. It really surprised me in the first place that Erap came in second. What the hell is this Erap Magic, that it makes people forget that this old man has been a president of this country before but was kicked out by virtue of People Power? Filipinos easily forget that this guy was charged with plunder and was placed behind bars for that. I would have made a sigh of relief if Gibo came in second. But Erap? Wadap----!!! If Erap wins again, surely our country will be the laughing stock of the world. So, please beh!

4. Now that Villar has conceded, where in the world is airhead Willie Revillame? I personally believe that he made such a blatant display of arrogance on national television because there was some kind of power backing him up. He was disillusioned - big time - that Villar could make it to the presidency. He was disillusioned that the network management would beg on their knees and stop him from resigning and would immediately fire that journalist who was just doing his job at being critical about television programs, including that of Revillame's. What now, Willie Revillame? To ABS-CBN, I hope they just move on and not expect Revillame to make a come back because if he does that, it would entail humbling himself which is an enormous task for the egomaniacal person that he is. The network better give it a try and groom Pokwang for the position. Like Revillame, she comes from the poor, but unlike him, both her feet are firm on the ground. Aside from that, she has a soft heart because she is a woman - a soft yet strong heart, or else she could not have survived what she'd been through before she became what she is now.

5. I hope Noynoy does not let go of Gibo and decides to give his cousin a position in his cabinet. Gibo is such a brilliant person that it would be a waste to let him go and deprive the Filipinos of his brilliance. Gibo for me is still his cousin's close competitor for the presidency, only that he is in the wrong party with the wrong people. If given the chance to speak to him, I would tell him, "Sir, don't give up on your aim for the presidency and don't give up on the Filipino people. You will definitely have your chance."

6. The race for the second highest seat of the land, the Vice-Presidency, has never caught so much attention like it is doing now, in the political and democratic history of the Philippines. In the past months, Sen. Mar Roxas III has dominated the surveys, however, the partial election results show that he is only tailing close second to Makati Mayor Jejomar Binay. This surprised everbody especially Binay's family who did not even believe that their patriarch would do good in the polls. Although a bit surprised with his lead, still it was only Binay himself who believed he could win this fight, amidst his own family's disbelief. The ad "Kay Binay gaganda ang buhay," might have worked for the former mayor. I personally believe that Binay is capable for the job but my heart is also broken for Roxas who made a great sacrifice by stepping down on his aim for the presidency to give way to Aquino.

7. If Binay wins, I believe he could work hand in hand with Aquino. I think we could count on Binay to assist Aquino in whatever way he can because he recognizes that he will not be where and what he is now today if not for the support given to him by no other than the mother of Sen. Aquino, Former President Corazon Aquino. Sana nga, gaganda ang buhay kay Binay. Sana, ganito rin sa buong Pilipinas, hindi lang sa Makati.

8. It appears that circuses are in the making at the House of the Senate and at the House of the Representatives. For the Senate, I could not believe that Bong Revilla is topping the list. Jinggoy Estrada, Tito Sotto (an Erap supporter who jumped into Arroyo's side), and Lito Lapid are also within the Top 12. I could only shake my head. Tsk, tsk. For the House of Representatives, we have something to watch out for since Former First Lady Imelda Marcos has won a seat for her bailiwick Ilocos Norte. Gloria Arroyo is leading the polls in her Pampanga province, and last but not the list, Lucy Torres is coming in too, along with Manny Pacquiao. OMG! You know..

9. For our first automated elections, we all deserve a tap on the back because we did fairly well. There's still a lot of room for improvement though but we deserve all the congratulatory remarks, especially the volunteers, the teachers who had to stomach all the ire of the voters at the precincts, the media, and everybody else who in their own little way contributed to the success of this elections.

10. For those who have won the race and will soon be proclaimed, always remember that with great power comes a great responsibility. The people gave you a chance to serve them. Once you take your oath of office, the high dies down with the applause, and so begins your turn to execute what is called servant leadership. Prove to the people that they were not mistaken in electing you into position. Prove to them that you have good intentions for this country and its people. Prove to us that indeed, this election heralds the beginning of change.

My first case of Pseudocyesis (2nd of 2 Parts)

2010-04-30T16:45:00.007+08:00

There she was, the patient, lying on the IE table. She had an average build, not obese and not thin. She was set for the Internal Examination. The lower part of her dress was lifted up to the waist, her underwear has been stripped off, exposing the sensitive part of her female anatomy, and her feet were firmly positioned on the stirrups.

What overwhelmed me was the flabby abdomen which flattened, as if to pay its respects to the law of gravity, while the patient was in the supine position. What is even more overwhelming is the sight of nurses tinkering with the flat abdomen using the Doppler probe. I know that the Doppler is used to amplify the fetal heart sounds but the sight of the nurses using it on an ultra-flat and flabby abdomen puzzled me for a while. What are they trying to do? Are they trying to amplify the patient's bowel sounds using the Doppler? Those questions flooded my head.

I immediately wanted to ask the patient, "Nang, buntis gyud ka? (Ma'am, are you sure you are pregnant?)" Instead I asked her when her last menstruation was, one of the questions which I usually ask patients who come in. "September 2009," came the answer. That was around seven months ago, I thought. I asked her if she had regular pre-natal check-ups. She admitted she was initially seen by a physician, and only once at that, but she eventually opted to be checked up by a midwife from the rural health center in their place because she lives quite far from the city.

The nurses handed me the patient's chart and at the same time told me the patient came in because she already felt labor pains. "Okey," I screamed - inside my head. I tried to digest what the nurse said while I was looking at the nurses who were trying with all their might to capture fetal heart sounds through the Doppler. I was at a loss for questions. That was totally unexpected for someone like me who has been admitting pregnant patients for years now. I looked at the patient's data on the chart. She's 50 years old. That somehow explained the skin that was beginning to lose turgor and the lines that marked her face. Still at a loss, I stared for a few minutes at the nurses who were more like busy elves this time. Thank God, they surrendered and realized their efforts were futile. "Wala man gyud mi madunggan, Doc (We could not hear any fetal heart sounds, Doc.)" they declared.

I approached the patient, and asked, "Nang, nagsakit na imo tyan? Asa man dapit? (Ma'am, are you having labor pains? Can you point to me where you are feeling the pain?)" Okey, that question might sound absurd for you medical people out there, knowing that labor pains are felt on the abdominal area, more on the lower part, and the pain usually radiates to the lower back. But, I asked it anyway. Probably the patient read the confusion peeping from the behind my head, and she told me that her entire abdomen was painful, hovering her hand over her entire abdomen to send her message across. She was already starting to be confused herself.

"Naa kay napamatian molihok ang bata, nang? (Do you feel any fetal movements, Ma'am?)", I asked. "Oo, Doc," she replied yes without batting an eyelash. The nurses and I stared at each other.

I took a deep breath before I started to explain my side to the patient. I told her that I will not do the Internal Examination this time because I am not quite convinced that she is pregnant. In the aim of dispeling any frustration my comment might bring her, I added, "Cge lang, nang ha, naa ta mga examinations na buhaton para mahibal-an gyud nato. (Don't worry, Ma'am, we will do a series of laboratory exams so we will know her exact condition.)" I told her, we will be transporting her to the Emergency Room (ER), where I will make the admitting orders. I paused for a few seconds to pass to allow everything to sink in then I exited from the room.

I saw the patient again at the ER where I did my Physical Examination on the patient. Abdominal pain was poorly localized and there were no pertinent findings that would point to pregnancy. At one point I asked her if she does believe that she is pregnant. She answered a resounding "Yes." Later on, she would admit that she never had a positive pregnancy test result but still she went on to have regular check-ups with the midwife at the heath center.

One of her companions is her sister so I called her over for some questions. I had to be a little direct this time.

Me: "Ma'am, para nimo, buntis gyud ni sya?" (Ma'am do you think your sister is pregnant?) I realized this is the second absurd question I asked that time. God, those were two absurd questions in an hour!.

Sister: Oo, doc. (Yes, Doc.) Another resounding yes. Me No.1 talking to Me No.2: Doc, don't you ever get it? Me No.2: Did the gods just sent me a family of psychotics or something to punish me for trying to sleep early while on duty? Is this a dream? Wake me up, please...!

Me: Wa mo natingala, nga wa nidako iyang tiyan? (Didn't you ever wonder why her adomen did not grow big?)

Sister: Natingala pud doc. Kay ang ako anak na iya pag-umangkon, kadungan dungan man to nya ug buntis dayon nanganak na man. (We were puzzled Doc. My daughter, her niece, got pregnant at arounthe same time when the patient apparently did, and my daughter already gave birth.)

Then I turned to the patient and asked, "Ikaw, nang, wa ka natingala nga wa nidako imong tyan?" She answered confidently, "Kay di man pud ko hingaon, doc." (I don't eat a lot, doc.)

Wow. I thought and gave out another deep breath.

Upon further inquiry, I knew, through the sister, that the patient has a foreigner-boyfriend. The boyfriend is out of the country right now and they are still very much together because the boyfriend still sends money to the patient. If that is their idea of togetherness, then I don't have the right to object to that. My goal then was to know if the patient had any history of mental illness such as depression and the like, or recently went thorugh a life changing event that triggered her to believe that she is pregnant. Unfortunately, the patient did not have any of those.

I did what I had to do. I called the Attending Physician to inform her about the admission. I told her about my impression of the case and I told her about my plans in the management. We both agreed on the impression of pseudocyesis. Our plans included a Complete Blood Count, a Pregnancy Test, and a Transvaginal Ultrasound in morning.

The patient was sent to her room and I retired at the Doctors' Quarters.

I was not able to get my much needed sleep when I returned to our quarters. After about an hour or two, I called the Nurses' Station to ask about the results of the laboratory exams.

It did not come as a surprise at all that the Pregnancy Test turned out to be Negative.

(Coming up: Dissecting my first comeuppance with Pseudocyesis)