Tha2ir's

The End of the Story: No gay Girl lives in Damascus

2011-06-13T08:18:00.003+03:00

Well, for those who have been following the news for a recently made famous Blog Called a Gay Girl in Damascus. The Story was reaching a climax in the past few days when many bloggers have questioned the authenticity of the writer and the recent claims that she have been kidnapped by the Syrian Authorities. Which lead many bloggers to start a campaign on FB calling for her release.

However, the rumors and recent doubts that the blog was run and administered from far far away ( Ireland) reached it's end when the person behind the blog Tom Macmaster Published an official Apology on the Blog.

Now, as much as many people may view this topic as strictly harmless, I feel that this move had made many people take great doubts in the news and information provided by internet activists living in Syria. Although the end of this step was obviously intended to raise the flag on crimes being made in Syria. It has made many people skeptic with what they hear and listen to. And I don't think that's a good thing. the people in Syria are suffering greatly with the brutal force of the regime and they don't want any reason for the international community to doubt their actions and their suffering.

on the other hand, I appreciate the move that Macmaster did eventually, which although was done after almost public identification of his real persona, but helped people to start looking for other means of news on what's happening in Syria.

My heart and feelings with those suffering there, and I hope this can reach an end that secures freedom to Syrians

E-readers: a gift or a curse

2011-06-11T12:39:00.003+03:00

Well, for those who don't know, my 27th Birthday was in February, that was about 4 months from now. I was extremely busty and depressed at the time to write anything. and it was also a very Quite birthday, just me and my Bueno in this oweful place called saudi arabia.

but I was happy though with my new present; an Amazon Kindle e-reader. Now, that was a really great surprise, my Bueno knew exactly what to bring me on this occasion.

So, it's been almost four months now since I've got it, I downloaded more than 3000 book son it along with some other songs to listen to during reading. but, I have to confess that I still fell something is wrong. I was really used to paper books, and it was one of my pure pleasures to visit the Bookshop and spend hours looking for my next new read.

Now, I miss that. it's much cheaper to download books, but it still feels that a part of me is missing, it was also a real pleasure seeing my Bookshelf getting bigger and bigger.

So, I started thinking back of buying books, or at least buying books that I liked reading so that I can add them to my books.

What do you think? I mean I really love my Kindle, but I still am unable to tell my Bueno that I will be buying some new paper books, because that was the reason she brought me my E-reader in the first place.

No place for good people in Jordan!

2011-06-10T22:41:00.002+03:00

I know this is an exaggeration, but I can't help but to think about it more closely. in the past couple of days I've been contacted by a very promising person, who holds a graduate degree from a UK university in the field of Genetics. Now, for those who don't know much about medical fields then I tell you that this particular field was regarded as one of the highly promising career paths in Jordan, or this was what we were told! Her main complaint is that she can't find a place that can appreciate her possibilities and potentials, and although she admits having some good( but very few) facilities. She admits that they only focus on basic care.

I felt sad for her, through the course of my experience I've met with two other people who have studied in the same field in highly respected foreign universities to end up with no idea what to do with their degrees. One of them ended up teaching a totally different specialty here with me in Saudi.

I've also been through that whole agonizing process, after graduating with an honors at the Bachelors from the University of Jordan, I sacrificed getting a scholarship and wasted lots of time and effort to pursue my graduate studies in Public Health. Only to realize later that all my efforts have gone useless, and that all the things I read about how awesome public health was almost nonexistent in Jordan. So, I too had to settle for a teaching job in Saudi.

The stories I hear are so annoying, I mean I really wish to go back to Jordan and find a decent job that makes me able to live a proper life. But, I seem to always hit a dark spot.

Now, I've been accepted for a PhD in a very specialized field, Childhood Cancer Survivorship, that is , the study of late effects that happen with children who survive their cancer treatment and dealing with all the physiologic, psychologic and social issues that occur.

Now, to my knowledge, that is a highly respected field. and I also will be getting my experience at a highly ranked school and working at one of the best childhood cancer hospitals in the world, so I have nothing not to be excited about.

but then, I think of what future I do have with this degree, I was actually crossing fingers at working at King Hussien Institute of Biotechnology and Cancer ( KHIBC), but now, with the new setback. I think I have to delay these hopes.

That makes me( and almost every other foreign university medical graduate) with very few options, the only one I can think of is teaching at a Jordanian University.

For those who think that this sounds as a great opportunity, think again. University professors have very low wages to support them a good living. along with the social and financial obligations that taking this position brings with.

So, the other option is to stay out of Jordan, either immigrating to a country where you'll be appreciated, or taking the easier option of living in a Gulf country and trying to save some money to do something when going back.

This seems a bit of a dark future for Jordan, I really hope that I'll get the chance to get back home, but now, the light at the end of the tunnel seems to be fading with each step forward.

A new setback in Cancer Care in Jordan: King Hussein Institute of Biotechnology and Cancer Brought to a Halt

2011-06-05T22:18:00.005+03:00

For those who are not well informed on Cancer Care in Jordan; There was a huge step back in 2007 when a new Center for Cancer Care was Established, it was titled King Hussein institute of Biotechnology and Cancer (KHIBC).
This center was expected to be a leading research institue in the whole middle east region, it was layed very close to the dead sea region, in the previous location of what was formarily the children's Forest. It was intended to a research and treatment center for the whole middle east region.
Things were very bright at the beginning, the institute was patronized by King Abdullah himself and was heavily funded by the US national Cancer institute and the US embassy in Amman.
I was following news of the center closely for the past years. I can't hide that being a member in the center was the ultimate dream for any one working in the field of cancer in Jordan.
However, in the past months following the financial US crisis and Fiscal budget in Jordan I started to hear less and less news of the institute. this was a very bad sign, the institute was doing lots of work that has suddenly all stopped.
I was in doubt till I recently got information from a Friend. The King Hussein Institute for Biotechnology and Cancer has been brought to a halt. The financial crisis made the support and budget reach the minimum. I was told employees were asked to stay only till the end of July this year.
I can't tell you how sad I felt when I heard these news. There went a project that carried hope and future for the region all for financial issues and corruption. I was very disappointed with these news. I also knew that the whole project and buildings are waiting for a Royal decree to see if they can go on with it. I hope that they'll get it, because this project represents a whole new image for Health Care in Jordan.

Nine Kinds of Students

2011-05-16T17:57:00.002+03:00

Check out this very amusing post from Matt Might Blog. What kind of students do we see in class:

But I really have to confess, I almost never deal with some of those types here in Saudi, they're either scouts or Spies!!!

I hate that......

The Soldier

Quiet, obedient and consistent, the Soldier charges into every assignment and stops only once enough damage is done to get the desired grade.

Soldiers don't show off.

Soldiers don't ask questions.

Soldiers don't complain.

Soldiers just get the job done.

Trademark question: "What will we be graded on?"

The Heavy Weapons Guy

The Heavy Weapons Guy isn't the swiftest.

To compensate, he unleashes a near-aimless fusilade of effort in class, at home, in office hours, on the newsgroup, over email and with the TA.

The trademark behavior of these students is doing everything the hard way.

The Heavy Weapons Guy usually grinds their way to a solid C.

The Demoman

Nothing can satiate the Demoman's thirst for knowledge.

The Demoman is the student that aces all the assignments, nukes all the tests and earns all the bonus points.

The trademark maneuver of the Demoman is blasting the curve into orbit, leaving behind only the charred remains of his classmate's grades.

The Sniper

Snipers excel at acing tests, but are almost nonfunctional for any other task.

Since they lie virtually motionless for most of the semester, they tend to surprise the crap out of the instructor when grading exams.

[In my courses, your grade is either your project grade or your final exam grade, whichever is higher. Every year, a Sniper with a solid F on the project makes a headshot on the final to emerge with an A.]

The Medic

The Medic answers questions for classmates in the classroom, on the forum and in person.

Medics usually get their grades bumped up by half or even a whole grade.

When a Medic attaches himself to a Heavy Weapons Guy, the instructor is often so grateful that the Medic earns an A.

The Engineer

Engineers create infrastructure that makes labs and assignments easier.

Having a couple Engineers in a class improves everyone's grades.

In computer science, the Engineer corrects bugs in assignment specifications, provides test cases, builds testing frameworks, and gives away helper scripts.

Like the Medic, the exceptional Engineer often bumps his grade by a half or whole letter grade.

The Scout

Not really prepared for (or interested in) a difficult course, the scout sits in on the first week of several classes, and drops anything that looks it might require more than showing up and staying awake.

Scouts that fail to identify and drop a difficult course end up charging ahead to map out the territory at the bottom end of the curve for everyone else.

Trademark question: "Do you expect students to work hard in this class?"

The Spy

The Spy, of course, attempts to cheat their way through.

The redeeming weakness of the Spy is that students too stupid to pass the class are usually too stupid to cheat without getting caught.

Trademark statement: "Oh, I didn't know that was considered cheating."

The Pyro

The Pyro loves to flame the instructor, the class, the assignments, the tests, the textbook, his partner and pretty much anything that isn't himself.

Pyros can and will complain about everything.

Pyros will challenge every point lost on an exam or assignment.

The only redeeming quality of the Pyro is that their unyielding sense of injustice drives them to turn in any Spies they uncover.

Trademark statement: "It's not fair to grade me on that."

Procrastination.... Procrastination

2011-05-03T09:42:00.004+03:00

Now, One thing I have to confess about my experience here in Saudi is the amazing lack of work and things to do.

I have to confess that this had made me a bit of a lazy bum, I mean I used to be such an active person, my day would usually start at 7 am and I would not get home till 11 pm. I was very active indeed!

but, since I left clinical work and began my academic life, things have changed drastically. I still consider myself on a long vacation. I mean working from 9 till 12 and going back home is not work, Yes I do get paid. but I don't consider my self working.

This actually had a negative impact, I'm supposed to get back to my original stamina and capabilities before I head to the US. And I'm seriously trying, but things are not as they used to, I have more responsibilities to my wife, even if I get to stay late, that is till 3 Pm!, I get multiple worried calls and I literally have nothing much to do while there.

it's kind of disturbing indeed, but I guess it'll take some time to to get used to.

On a different note, I was looking for an image to post here, but I stumbled upon a very interesting link: check this Saudi Wedding in 1978. It's not much different than what Jordanian weddings used to be at that time.

Planned Pregnancy: what do you think?

2011-04-27T11:45:00.004+03:00

Well, It's been almost 10 months since I got married. I'm glad that I didn't listen to all that crab that marriage is sweet at the beginning and gets harder by time. Now, I'm convienced with what some wise people advised me. the most difficult time is in the first couple of years.

I can say that I have been through the roughest part, the part where each side has to make compromises and stand grounds on some issues. I for the most feel that I did make many compromises but also made some ground rules. still, it's a process in the going.

One issue that's been surfing lately is the idea of having a baby. I was lucky enough to have parents and in-laws who thought the idea of taking some time before having a baby was a good one.

we were in this together, my wife and me. but lately, I guess the motherhood feeling has been haunting my wife's thoughts and dreams. We agreed that we'll delay for the first year and then see what happens then. But lately, my wifes is only waiting for our anniversary to start trying. I love children, and I really want so many of them. but the fact that I'm currently in a transition to a new place and a new environment makes me a bit scared of the responsibility. for a start, my child will have an American citizenship, which means a lot. but then I'm afraid that with the little scholarship I have I won't be able to provide a good living for him. I believe that things go better as soon as we get a child. but I can't stop my self from thinking some dark thoughts.

Another thing is my wife. I hope that other couples go through the same phase. Whenever I get with an argument with my wife, she always ends up crying and saying that she's afraid this relationship won't work! I mean I know that I can be a rough tempered guy, and I know that I have a sharp tongue. But I always apologize for it and I'm really getting better at controlling my temper. But this scares me to think that I'm afraid of having a baby and then parting up on the way. I love my wife and I can't think of anyone else who can understand me as much as she or make me happy as much as she. But sometimes, it's just hard to keep hearing these ideas and not thinking if we really were meant to be together.

So many thoughts, so many thoughts.

My Anniversary is on July, I guess by that time I hope things would have settled. at least she can understand that I'm an easy person, and that arguments between couples is a normal thing in the first couple of years. at least then I'll stop having all these dark ideas.

Women, you can't live with them and you can't survive with out them ,and we fall in love with them..... I hate that.

Looking for a new car

2011-04-26T11:39:00.005+03:00

Cars, I hate cars. I never considered my self a car enthusiast. but, I can also say that I had a little experience with cars too.

actually. I just bought my first personal car just a year ago. I never thought I needed a car while I lived in Amman, I used walk daily to work, and it's been sort of my daily sport. but when you're in Saudi, that's a different story; in Saudi, there is no whatsoever respect for pedestrians, and drivers are pretty crazy. When I first moved in I decided to live nearby my work, but whenever I walked the street to work, I would be usually stopped by some student who insist on giving me a ride. and they don't seem convinced that you're actually doing it for the sports. I can swear I almost felt some of them thought I was just being cheap!!

In Saudi, walking is almost strictly exclusive to workers and labor who can't afford to buy a car. and that can also be explained by there traffic laws. A driver is always allowed to take a right turn on a traffic signal. that means that you're never sure if you could cross the street cause you meybe hit by a car going to the right.

So, eventually I ahd to buy a car, and because I hate going to car shops looking for one, I asked a friend who deals with cars to look for a nicve budget car.

and there you have it, my first car ever:a 2003 Opel Omega.

I don't think I ever thought of buying a German car, but this one was a real bargain. And eventually I was really glad I took that car in Saudi, unlike in Jordan, People opt for bigger engine cars, gas prices are just a small fraction of prices in Jordan. I was also lucky to have clean and good car that I had no troubles with for the last 8 months. That's a record in among Saudi Cars.

Now that I'm leaving to the states soon I started looking for another car on the internet, although I also rented an apartment just across the street from where I will be working, but everyone told me that I need a care to move safely and to go to Muslim Malls and Mosques. What I noticed was the extreme cheap prices of these cars. I mean I could buy a decent car for a price of less than 10 Ks.

This means I finally get the chance to buy my dream car, that is if I get to convince my wife, a MINI Cooper. I love that car. My wife's still trying to let me look for other options, but I just fell in love with this convertible one. It's so cute.

I'm definitely buying it

My Mood for today: Disco

2011-04-26T08:27:00.001+03:00

Barry White is one of the greatest disco performers I know and Love. This piece has been playing in my head all morning. Enjoy

Back from my rut

2011-04-25T18:01:00.003+03:00

Well, It’s have been a along time since I last posted anything,

Honestly, it’s because I was very disgusted living here in Saudi. It’s that I didn’t have anything to say, but because it was mostly complaints. I hate it when I have to complain. So, I decided not to post anything till I can get out of this rut.

When I was interviewed for the job here in Saudi, I was told that this will be an academic career. What this means to me is be able to work more on my research and projects. But what I actually had was a bad nightmare, I came to a new university where they still didn’t know anything about academia, everything was being built from a scratch, and that meant that I had to spend most of my time working on useless curriculums and doing all the registration my self. It also meant that no one even cared if I had a previously good research career. I don’t think they understood most of my projects, they just though my CV was big enough. I had to spend the last two years of my life doing almost nothing with my career, I know I’ll try to make it good on my CV, but the fact is I didn’t get anything out of it.

And the students! what can I say about the students. Trust me people, when I say that Jordanians are the most educated and smartest in the region, then believe me. I never imagined I’ll ever teach such low level students in my life. I mean what’s the use of teaching a students an advanced course in Epidemiology if he can’t simply WRITE HIS NAME IN ENGLISH RIGHT!!!!

I have been trying for the last 9 months since I got married to get out, and I finally found a chance.

So, starting from August. I’ll be pursuing my PhD degree. I finally convinced a university to provide me with a scholarship. So, I’ll be in Memphis, Tennessee

It’s not that I didn’t have some great experiences in Saudi. I mean I got the chance to do Hajj. This is a chance that my parents still can’t afford to have. And I had the chance to live most of my first year with my wife away from any outside interfering. The first year is the hardest, and we got the chance to solve so many of our conflicts and get to understand each other much more than ever.

I hope that I’ll get the chance to write more about my experience here in Saudi and My plans for being an expat in a new country

I need to thank some people though.

Whisper, I always read your blogs but forgive me for not being able to comment, or just losing the well to.

Naser: despite your few blogs but you always manage to grab my attention.

Ruba: I don’t know if you follow me, but you always give me a sense of what’s going back home.

Black Iris: the political commentary that I look for

Jazarah; my daily entertainment blog

2010-05-22T11:23:00.004+03:00

well,

It's been a long time since I last posted. it seems that I don't get the enough time, or even the right ideas to tell about. Maybe it's because I've been a bit busy with all the wedding preparations.

Offf, wedding preparations. I've been to Amman 3 times since I first came to Saudi, and I don't seem to ever enjoy going there, it seems as all I do while I'm there is to only prepare for the wedding. So many details, some are plain stupid, and some are so awkward. I never thought that I'll have to go through all these details.

I never thought that I should be worried about the color and design of the center piece, or the preparation of chairs and who should sit next to who, and who shouldn't. but My Bueno insists that I should give an opinion about all these things, I tried politely to express how much I'm not comfortable with these decisions, and I tried to show how much I don't care about such details. I mean to me, a wedding is an event where everyone you know get together, have some drinks and food, enjoy the music and do some dances, and then go home. I'm not a details' person.

Now I'm in the process of choosing the wedding invitations, it's a bit tricky. and I have to balance between choosing a good one but within the right price range. Another thing is choosing a wedding suit, and I'm also still trying to figure out where should I get all the enough money to go through the whole thing.

The only good thing that really made me happy was choosing a honey moon trip. I have finally decided on Malaysia. I really wanted to go on a Euro Trip by the train, but it turned out to be very expensive for my funds. but hay, I've been to the far east before, and if something I'm sure of, the nature there cannot be competed.

The struggle of Academia between Saudi and Jordan

2010-03-21T09:50:00.003+02:00

While working in Academia may not be the best choice for so many people, but I reached a point where I realized that this was the thing for me. But it kinda baffles me what might resources and good funding to support such a choice.

While Saudi Arabia is considered a very recent country in the field of Academic Research and Studying, yet it has taken the first place on the world ranking of Arabic countries. Why is that, simply abundance of resources, I mean students enjoy the luxury of getting their text books for free on the expenses of the University, makes you feel bad for the students in Jordan. I mean I remember that buying a test book was a very crucial balance issue, especially for less lucky students, I remember how hard it was to save to get all the books you need, I used to hate reading from copied books, but at some point this was not an option.

Now, I'm in the process of ordering text books for all my courses next semester. and I get to order a bunch for me too. I have a couple of research projects in the making, and I'm gladly getting all the funding I need without having to kiss any assess or beg for money.

I realize that Saudi Students are not as half as good as Jordanian Students, but to be honest. i'll be more glad to work in Saudi than in Jordan. It's simply much more convenient and fulfilling.

You have to admit that this is true.

Blog For Jordan Day: Today, I blog for the University of Jordan

2010-03-12T14:02:00.005+02:00

I always believed that you can never really appreciate the wonders of Jordan unless you try to live in anywhere else. I have been in this experience for the majority of my life. and I guess that's the major reason why I love Jordan so much. I know it's my homeland, but there's something magical about this place, something different.

I have travelled for so many places in my life, but never managed to find the combination I found in Amman. While I lived the majority of my life in the Emirates, and managed to understand the stereotypical image people take of Jordanians as hard working, loyal people, yet famous for being the most stubborn people in Arabia.

But my greatest and most rich experience I had was at this magical place known as " The University of Jordan"

I consider this place to be the most amazing place I ever knew in Jordan. This was the place where I realized the meaning of everything Jordanian. I realized how wonderful Jordan is a place to live, and how rich is living here. I loved this place. and I still believe that I will come back again to it.

In the 7 years I lived in Jordan. 6 of them were spent at the University of Jordan. This was the place where I had my Bachelor's Degree, My Masters Degree. But, most important of all things, this was the place where I met my soul mate.

The weird thing though is that all these events took place at a very unlikely place; The University's main library. It was the place where I managed to find the strength to study, I had a bit of short attention span, and I needed to feel that there were others who were studying, and the library was the best place. And Just as I found all the power to study, and as I was in my final exams for my masters degree. I Was lucky enough to find my Bueno there.

So, I guess I have to pay my tributes to this wonderful place, some friends of mine even suggested that I should hold my wedding at the library there!

So, as I blog for Jordan on this occasion. I will pay my tributes to The University of Jordan with this older post of mine:

http://tha2ir.blogspot.com/2009/04/spring-at-university-of-jordan.html

Enjoy this Great Friday.

Back from Jordan

2010-02-23T15:58:00.000+02:00

Well, I was fortunate enough to have some time to spend in Amman. However, this didn't mean that I had the chance to catch the snow. I didn't even get a glimpse of it, sadly.

But, going to Amman on this time meant one very important thing: Valentine's day. Usually, I'm all against this international day stuff, I don't believe that we ( me and my fiancée) should stick to a day that is not even relevant to our life to celebrate our love. But, considering that this was the first Valentine's we had - while being officially together, as far as her parents know, we we're not together before that- I decided to bend my rules a bit and take my Bueno to a nice restaurant.

One thing I didn't have in mind was that I wasn't the only one, almost every nice restaurant I knew had a full booking! I was taken aback, and this meant I had to do some creative searching, it's not easy to find a good restaurant in Amman, believe me.

Luckily, after 3 days of intensive search I managed to find a seat at a restaurant I never been to before: "Grappa". A nice Italian Rest. just above Salute. I've been to Salute, but never had the chance to visit Grappa. The only annoying thing was all this " set menu" thing, almost every Rest. I called had a set menu. which I believe is a very bad idea to attract costumers. But, I didn't care later cause the food was really nice, and they seated us at a really great view of Down town. and the prices were very reasonable there.

If' you're into Italian Food, then I advice you to try this one.

Another fact of my vacation in Amman was the annoying surge of prices, I mean I spent so much money without even knowing what did I do with it. I tell you one thing, living in Jordan is becoming a problem with each day. Although I enjoyed my vacation, but I was glad I was going to back to Saudi. I need to save some money.

Enjoy your day

Celebrating 26 candles: doubt, uncertainty, determination, and faith

2010-02-03T16:37:00.005+02:00

Although that I always say that the previous year was my busiest, I always have more and more events to endure and experience.

This year was the year of conquiring fear and facing doubts, this was the year of taking major decisions, and of facing miserable pitfalls.

In the last year, I've experienced so many emotions, love was the most important of all, and despite I was in a relationship long before that, but this was the year I realized I found my one. Trust me people when I say this: any man will face such a hard time to know that, and to take the major decision of settling down. This was the year of taking the major step and proposing.

I have a little secret to tell though, I still face some doubts every now and then. I mean I have this amazing person who really understands me and whom for the first time doesn't need any explanation to understand what I feel. The only problem is my damn horoscope! Ladies, if you are thinking of an Aquarius man, then think again. We are just not into intimacy and deep emotions, I sometimes feel like betraying her love, cause I simply don’t love her as much as she does. Another shameful secret that because she loved more was a reason to propose to her. I felt assured, and powerful while holding her heart in my hand.

But, before you start spitting on me. I have to confess that my love keeps on growing each and every day, and I feel happy that I followed this gut feeling I had that she was the one. This doesn't mean that we don't have the casual fights couples have. I tell you one thing ladies, you make our simple life hell! We just don't think things as you do, so please try to understand that men are quite shallow people; we DO NOT have any underlying meaning when we say that you are different today. And when we express that we love an outfit, that sure doesn't mean that everything else you wear is bad. We say it as innocently as a child, I swear!

Of course, this early move made me take so many brave decisions in my life, decisions that I hope will not cost me much. After my epic failure in getting accepted for a PhD at a very respectable University in the US. I had a bad case of depression, and it took me time to realize that I was playing it all wrong, and that I needed more time to realize what area my passion should be focused on.

This commitment also meant that I needed a fire exit out of my trembling financial situation, and the window of faith appeared in the least places I ever expected : Saudi Arabia. Of course you can imagine the fear I had as a liberal and outgoing person with so much activities of going to Saudi. But then I decided that this was my only way out, and a lucky coincidence made me believe that this was meant to happen anyways.

However, going to Saudi was not as bad as I thought, I mean yeah it was different that Amman, but I had the luck to know a bunch of Jordanians and make new friendships. It also opened my eyes to the fact that I was actually good in Academia, and I realized that this is the thing I should do in my life. I just enjoyed it.

The other thing about going to Saudi was visiting Mecca. No matter how many people tell you about the feeling when you see the Ka'ba, I can tell you that it's even better. This was one of my deepest spiritual experiences I ever had. That particular experience made me decide to stay for another year to have to the chance to go to Hajj.

Of course , this also meant that I needed to delay my PhD plans for another more year, but I really didn’t care that much after this experience.

So, I guess that sums up what happened in this crazy and full year. I started feeling old when I got 25, so I'm still old now, but not older than a year before, it's a bad feeling indeed.

The only thing I hope this year is that I took the right decisions, and I really hope that those decision will pave the way to get back on the right track.

Happy Birthday to Me.

Blast from the past! Some old songs

2010-01-31T23:21:00.003+02:00

I'm a bit obsessive about archiving things, I always think this will help me find them later. Somehow I'm not convinced with the 'Find" feature in Windows.

I lately found a very old CD, one that I had as a backup for my first owned PC. I was into songs at that time, and it really felt good listening back to some of these oldies. So, I looked them up on youtube, and I hope it'll bring you some memories as it did to me;

My first ever song was this one, we had a Phillipino housekeeper who was obsessed with Bryan Adams, and I think she was the one who made me love those kind of songs, and love Bryan Adams. I was only 9 at the time, and I remember that I enjoyed watching the video just to watch the Dog wandering round the studio, I really loved Dogs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EHAo6rEuas

I'm sorry I can't embed this video in particular.

The other one, which I think a lot of you don't know, but this was the funkiest song I ever heard, and is still so. I really loved the rhythm. I didn't know who was singing it. back at the time when no internet was available I only knew it as the " down" song. I thought that it was a hit, but it seems I was the only one who ever heard of it:

This one is also a bit special, I really loved the video at the time, and the funky music of course. But what I didn't figure out at that time was why she was so happy about a "Saturday" Night. I mean it was the first day at school, and no one seemed happy here!

Now, This one is a Classic. and the same thing, I didn't know the name of the Singer till years later. This was the "Far away" Song. I guess there was no video at all for this one, but the music is enough.

Of course, this one is also a famous all time hit. MC hammer had even his own cartoon show that I used to watch. I tried multiple times to do his walk, but I wasn't a dancer at all.

Now, this is a song that almost any literate Jordanian will know. Even if he had never listened to Western music, he would definitely know this one. I don't know why. I guess they used to show it on TV or something. But is a great song indeed.

Now, this last one used to be my all time favorite, and is still on the top list. Useless lyrics, the Band is somewhat gay. But the music is great.

I guess that is what I found by now, there are so many other songs I want to share, but I'll delay that to another time. tell me if you had any songs that brings some memories to you. For me, all those songs bring some really great memories.

The Anti-Egypt Movement

2010-01-29T12:14:00.002+02:00

Well, I'm not a passionate observer of football. In fact I rarely watch any, but I couldn't stop being involved in all the fuss that was going on in the past few days before the big match between Algeria and Egypt, One thing that I came to know here in Saudi is that no one in the time being likes Egypt. Almost each and every one I knew was hoping that Egypt would lose the match, and people cheered for Algerians just so as to beat Egypt.

I like to think that the reason lies in politics, and not in people themselves. Since President Mubarak decided to go on with the siege of Gaza and each Jordanian, Palestinian, or even Saudi is just against Egyptians.

Now, I'm not a racist, and I don't believe that we can go with the stereotypes that people draw of each other, simply because I as a Jordanian must give a certain stereotype that is just not me. What saddens me the most is that this is only the beginning, I know that Egyptians and Algerians will hate each other for the next couple of years over this match, and this match will happen again between two other Arab teams and so will go on.

I read this really thorough post by the Black Iris, emphasizing the issue more. I think this is a good time to read it again for those who didn't.

But, it was a good match though, everyone thought that they deserved to win. Good luck with the finals.

Trouble in Paradise

2010-01-28T19:17:00.002+02:00

When you think that life has smiled at you in the end, you come to realize that it will never, at least not all the time.

Just when I thought that I have been showed the way to a happy life, I came to realize that I was only facing more trouble in my ride, I was over with my engagement, which was nothing less than a bumpy ride, and I thought that I have finished the hardest part, I mean wedding will be smoothly arranged for, I'm going to Saudi, which means I will have enough money to go with the arrangements without having to fall in debt. Every thing was running smoothly, only it was only in my head.

it was not enough that I had to endure the difficulties of living in Saudi Arabia, but I also had to endure not seeing my family , my fiance, and my friends. and as this was not enough, Realized that my fiance was so much emotionally attached to me that I would have to hear her cry every day on the phone cause I'm not by her side.

And it only gets worse, our both families got into conflicts over the date, place, and timing of the wedding. My family, who live in Irbid and so are all our relatives, sought that it would be a good idea to arrange for a good wedding hall that is not away from north Amman, so that no one from our side gets lost. But my in-laws, who have only few relatives all in Amman, thought that they need to make the wedding for their only daughter in a hotel and are still unable to agree on a date cause they need to make sure their daughter will finish the university at first, and are afraid that she may have to take a summer semester.

So, I'm now faced with uncertainty in everything. for starters I just can't afford to arrange a wedding in a Hotel, I mean I have a tribe as blood relatives, and it's not my fault that I have a total of 20 Aunts and Uncles from both my parents' side! and you can imagine how many cousins that mean, that is of course without mentioning all the other not-so-close relatives. This means a huge party that will totally go wrong. I know that my in-laws have the right to ask for a suitable party for their only daughter, but it makes me regret that I even thought of taking a lonely daughter. man, this means lots of responsibilities, and they have so few relatives that they can't even imagine what situation are we going through.

The other big problem is finding a suitable date, my in-laws are still hesitant, and it's all because they think my fiance has lost focus on her study since we got engaged, and are afraid she won't finish by the 2nd semester, and we all have to wait till she finishes the 2nd semester to reserve, that is by the end of June. I'm pretty sure I won't find anything by then.

So, here I am, My parents are pushing me to find a solution, my fiance is making me hate the whole thing and my in-laws are making it hard all the way.

Enjoy your evening!

An unexpected comeback

2010-01-25T22:08:00.002+02:00

Well, Being a University Faculty gives you so much vacations to spend, Especially here in Saudi. People just love taking holidays, and they love even thinking of new ways to get some more.

But, I took a decision some time ago not to spend all my vacations in Jordan. you'll be surprised how many natural and tourist places you can visit in Saudi. I know everyone will stop reading now to think how crazy I am for even mentioning this of Saudi, but , It's true. Saudi is has a huge area and is full of new places to visit.

That's why I decided that on the next vacation between the two semesters I'll spend my vacation in the south western area of Saudi, very rich in nature.

but just tomorrow, some new event scame up, my friend who was supposed to take this trip with me had a serious loss of a family member and decided to go back to Jordan, leaving me with no one to travel with, I was used to travelling alone for a good time in my life, but I don't think I can tgake it any more. So, I took the brave decision of going back to Jordan in two weeks.

Yeah, I think it's a brave decision, cause I realized what's a crisis it is to live there, I mean when I came back last timeI spent a small fortune for literally nothing, I swaer that I didn't enjoy my time or even think that I did! but the money kept on leaking over and over till I had to go back with just enough to make it home, that is of course, Saudi.

Now things are totally different here in Saudi, in Jordan I used to spend my whole income on the daily needs of my life, and I barely had enough for any fun activities. while in Saudi, I take 4 times what I used to get payed, while spending a little less than what I used to spend in Jordan. So, I end up saving some good money at the end of each month. Sadly, it all vanishes when I come back home. you have to get to a certain level of expectations! that means that you have to pay more than you're used to , and you have to buy expensive gifts to your family and Fiance, plus the extra amounts that go for charity on your little brothers and sisters, suddenly everyone's mobile phone is damaged and needs a replacement!!

But, I managed to think of a good idea to deal with this, you know we Jordanians love to spend the whole vacation at home, but I decided that I'm gonna reduce it to only 7 days, including the travel dates, this way I won't have to weep in sorrow over my savings going down the toilet, cause I simply won't have enough time.

Another thing is that no one is expecting me to come, and no one will. So I won't have to go through the gift list of friends and relatives, and I'll explain that I it was an unexpected vacation so I didn't have the time to get anything to any one - except my fiance of course, I don't want to even think of the consequences - little white lies won't hurt anyone

So, I guess I'll be breathing again the cold and harsh wind of Amman, see you soon. yeah right

The Ecstacy of Acedemia!!

2010-01-20T21:13:00.001+02:00

Spending 3 hours a day at work
3 days a week
practicing the pure feeling of absolute power and control over of a bunch of hypocrites
Enjoying the never-ending torrent of fake compliments and sleazy excuses by those same hypocrites
Standing in front of those hypocrites and enjoying talking over and over about something that you really love to talk about.
The overwhelming feeling of pleasure and happiness when seeing the agony in those hypocrites' eyes on the exam.
Getting a 3 month paid vacation
And Finally, getting paid really good for all that!
That, my Friends, is the reason for the Ecstasy of Academia

Book Review and other stuff: "Counterknowledge" and the conspiracy theory

2010-01-18T17:11:00.001+02:00

The Age of Counterknowledge

I have to admit that I'm a bit late on the habit of reading in the past few weeks, I guess it's one of the cons for living in Saudi, you can never find a good book shop for English books, all arabic, or translated to Arabic, and to tell the truth , I don’t' find my self able to get indulged in reading an Arabic book, guess it's my fault for not feeding my old hunger for poetry and stuff.

Any ways, I was reading this interesting book titled "counterknowledge" I got a catch of the intersting title at readers bookshop, and I was not in so fascinated so much with it, it clearly states that the author is against any belief in religion, and well, I don't know, I just can’t understand people who don't.

But then, an awkward situation happened, I was with a bunch of friends when someone asked me a direct question on my view of the recent H1N1 Flu Pandemic, I naturally replied with all the information I had and to be honest, I always make for a good argument; but then, he said: you may be right, but I don't agree with you!

I asked him what did he mean? He said that he did not believe in all these "lies" about the Flu virus and it's risk, and he was positive that the vaccine is an American plot to lead all our men to impotency!!!

Yeah, I was dealing with a skeptic, a conspiracy theorist! Nothing to be amazed of here in Jordan, but what bothered me the most was the fact that this guy was way cleverer than the usual skeptics I ever met, I mean he was a university graduate and had a good idea on what was going on.

Anyways, this guy I was talking to even managed to prove his point by mentioning some websites that "told" the Truth about what was going on, one site was named infowars.com. A crappy site that never brings any resources and uses bogus references and names to strengthen it’s argument. A sleazy site, but nevertheless is a heaven to those skeptics who find something to strengthen their arguments. What I was amazed of was that the website was an American website, and it had so many visitors. For a while, I thought that Arabs were the only ones who have a fixed belief in the universal plot to kill all humanity by politicians and Zionism.

This incident made me go back to the book, a really interesting, yet angry book that puts people either on the good side or on the bad, and if you have any religious views, then you're not eligible to be on the good side, and you're not even eligible to be a sane scientist! But, the book is interesting in the way it shows how much people are affected by the media and their conceptions to reach a state of believing in fake knowledge, packaged and prepared to sound and look so much "right".

Finished the book , and I guess that this made me aware of what crazy world we are going through.

Hoping to be back for good

2010-01-16T18:27:00.003+02:00

Well,

it's been almost 3 months since the last post I wrote. I guess I had to go through so much efforts to get used to living here. It's not that it's hard or anything. Infact, I still don't believe how so little work I have to do. I mean as a University lecturer I only give 9 credit hours! and that's 9 hours of actual work a week!

so much for the 45 weekly hours I had to endure in Jordan!

but, I guess that what made me go through this stage of laziness and procrastination, I simply had nothing to do, I even had enough time to enjoy a daily noon Siesta, something I forgot long ago.

I was also trying to understand and mingle with the Saudi society, the town I live in is a bit bigger than Irbid. So, we don't have the same pace of life as in Amman. Ofcourse there is the strict rules of conduct when it comes to dealing with women. My other single colleagues still have to face a rough time, but I'm happy that I'm no longer a Bachelor, so I don't bother my self with all that.

But still, I miss everything about Jordan, and About Amman, and I miss my fiance.

during those last months I made so many observations on the difference between the Jordanian and the Saudi Society, I hope I will have the chance to post about them later on.

that doesn't mean that I was't following up with my fellow bloggers; In fact, I got most of my updates through these posts, but I was a bit lazy in posting any comments. I promise that I'll be more active in the next few days.

I have to raise my hat ( or 3gal) to my fellow Naser, his posts were more than remarkable, and I also have to mention Whisper and The Black Iris, It was fun to get some updates on life in Jordan.

Till then, I'll be keeping you updated and I'll try to keep my comments running

Managing a new life in Saudi Arabia

2009-10-06T10:26:00.006+02:00

Well, it's been a week since I left Jordan to Saudi Arabia, and the days before were all full of running to prepare for my engagement. I got engaged by the way.
Now, that's why I was away from blogging for all this time, although I had so much to blog about, but it seems that I don't find enough time.
Another problem, which is a serious one, is that I'm still without a laptop, I left mine in Amman, and I was told that I will be given one as soon as I get there. Sadly, I've been waiting a long time with no results, so I guess I have to wait a bit more to get it.
meanwhile, I'll keep on browsing and reading blogs, I think this new atmosphere inspired me to wirte so many ideas, but you'll have to hold on tight till I can mange to routinize my life again and get settled in.

The weather is not bad at all by the way, in fact, I'm starting to like it more and more.

Diamonds are ........................... not for broke people!

2009-09-14T11:53:00.004+03:00

As one of my most elaborate characters is that I'm a non-conformist. And as I'm deeply and madly in love with my fiancé, I had to do so many stupid mistakes. I tell you people, never get married when you're in love. This will mean you'll do so many things that you'll deeply regret later on in the course of your life.

When I proposed to my Fiancé's parents. They asked for no amount of Gold to be specified for her, they realized that I was still building my self up. So they let it to me to decide how much I can afford.

So far so well; except that I was proud and egocentric enough to show them that although I can barely go through the engagement issues. But I still can show how "Generous" I can be.

And what is a better show of generosity than women's all time favorite; a Diamond Ring!!!

Yeah, So, I later on "obliged" my self to buy my fiancé e a Diamond ring and I told my in-laws that this is the least I can do for my sweetie. I never thought that diamonds were so pricy, I mean in my small world of incomes and finances nothing can exceed a 1000 JD's. I know I was out of common sense, but then, there was this sweet drive to do all I can do to her.

The agony and drama all appeared when we went to buy the ring, when I first entered the shop, I asked for an engagement ring; so, they started showing me all these really nice crafted rings. But I never stopped staring at the price tags with all those zeroes!!!

The salesperson apparently noticed the shower of sweat that was pouring down, so he asked if I cared to see less pricy items, and asked me what budget I'm thinking of. So I said was able to afford something like 1500 JD's. He gave a yellow smile and let out a try of "Tiny" rings with simple designs, and he took some other stones that were more appropriate to my budget.

The embarrassment came when my fiancé with my mother in law came to see what I could afford and then, the shock, the yellow faces, the agony, the feeling of bitterness! I can't say enough. I couldn't stop thinking of a scene from Tom & Jerry when Tom falls in love with a cat but she leaves him for a richer one. It involves a scene with diamonds if you can remember

Here's an advice to all those men thinking of marriage: go with Gold, it's much cheaper and so much worth what you're paying for. As for me, I had to bear the feeling of humiliation and blame it all on my non-conformism. My fiancé loves me too so she didn't care as long as it was something from me, as for my Mother-in-law. Totally different story.

Diamonds............ for ever................. If you have the guts and money.

The Engagement.

2009-08-31T13:11:00.005+03:00

As most of you may know ( at least the regular ones should). I've been recently engaged in one of the most difficult and exhausting experiences I've ever been. But things are not over yet!
What her parents agreed on in the beginning was only an informal engagement ( reading Fatha). They thought that this would give them some more chance to get to know me. So now, and after 2 months of this informal engagement. They've finally agreed to make it official ( katb ktab) which was scheduled on Eid Holiday after Ramadan (Allah Ybarek Fekom in Advance).
Now, as much as I was happy to finally feel relieaved after all the struggle I've been through to prove I was worthy of their Daughter, but there appears two more things to make things not as I wished for.
first thing, which is not least important, is that I'm leaving to Saudi Arabia very soon after I get engaged, 2-3 days for the max! This means that I won't have the chance to enjoy it with my fiance! Something I really hate.

The other more important thing is that this means I have to raise money for the engagement party and stuff. My friends estimated that this will take about 3 thousand JD's to hold a decent party and manage all the other stuff. Here comes the bitter part, As I mentioned in previous posts, I'm officially down the drain!
Some people always blame me for doing this step while in such a horrible financial situation, but believe me. I still think that fate was behind making all these things possible and behind making every thing go in such a smooth way that no one ever imagined.
Back to the financial part; some people suggested that I should ask for my parents for help; which is not a possible option considering their own financial state right now with 3 other children in Universities. another reason was that they told me before I do this step that I'm gonna face some financial difficulties, but I didn't listen. and I really hate the " I told you so" part.
The other option , and the easiest one, is to get a loan, my income allows me to get more than I needed within half an hour, but then. I took an oath not to get back to loans after all I've been through during my master's degree loans, which I still suffer from till this day.
The last and least desirable option is to ask for some money from relatives and friends. I know that I can pay them all back as soon as I get my paycheck in Saudi. But, for a man who managed his life independently despite all the troubles that I've been through, it seems hard to ask for money from anyone. For a start, I can only imagine how embarrassed I would be in one of my friends said he doesn't have any money, and the other fear is that people will look at me in a different way. I will not longer be the self efficient Tha2ir, who managed to go through all these stuff by his own. And finally, I'm always afraid that anyone who will lend me money will expect me to be grateful for the rest of my life, and I really hate such feelings.

These are all rantings, but it's good to relieve some of my tension in the past days, I'm willing to accept any ideas, or donations. Just kiddin...... no I'm not!