tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260Sun, 09 Mar 2025 08:31:51 +0000Fake NewsPoliticsEconomic NewsEntertainment NewsEuropeLocal NewsCrimeSports NewsTravelAutomotive NewsCanadiansConsumer NewsCulinary NewsEnvironmental NewsHealth NewsTechnologyTerrorFAQGay NewsGeeksHolidaysLiteratureMisunderstood NewsReligionSouth AmericaTruthWTFzombiesAmerica's Authoritative source for fake news since 2008http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)Blogger57125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-8381409063233630147Wed, 15 Apr 2009 01:40:00 +00002009-04-14T19:50:13.172-07:00Misunderstood NewsPolitics<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">CNN Senior Political Analyst Gloria Borger reported today that Republican twits have no credibility.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">In her article detailing President Obama's calm and professional leadership in the face of the Somali pirate standoff, she called possible 2012 presidential contender, serial divorcer and former House Speaker Newt Gingrich a twit for publicizing his opinion that "Obama is making a major mistake in not forcefully outlining the rules of civilization for dealing with pirates. We look weak."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Her article starkly contrasted Obama's professional demeanor and leadership with former President Bush's desperate attempts to be accepted as part of the military.  The clear implication was that by speaking without thinking, Gingrich was showing that he would lead more like Bush than Obama.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/04/14/borger.republicans/index.html">Continue to the story here</a></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2009/04/cnns-borger-says-gop-twits-have-no.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-3612248313514882335Sat, 11 Apr 2009 18:36:00 +00002009-04-12T11:22:47.841-07:00Entertainment NewsFake NewsSports News<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Just because they named their latest single "Football is Our Religion" does not mean that the Swedish techno-country band Rednex are actually rednecks.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The band has turned down a request from the National Football League to change their name to the Pansies.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">NFL sent a letter to Mary Joe (Annika Ljungberg) acknowledging that its request, at first blush, might appear "bizarre", but became necessary when NFL officials learned that the song was actually about soccer and not "real football."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">But, by changing its name, the band could raise awareness of the lack of manly sports that Europeans must endure, the NFL said in its letter.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The trio, which was founded in 1994 and has since undergone many changes in its lineup, reproduced the NFL's letter in full on its <a href="http://www.myspace.com/therednex">MySpace</a> page.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The musicians said they were "unable to agree" to the request "but we appreciate the publicity that this request provides."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The NFL said that is was pleased the Rednex had drawn attention to the issue by posting the request so prominently on the band's <a href="http://www.myspace.com/therednex">MySpace</a> page.  "I just put 'Cotton-Eyed Joe' on my iPod to celebrate," said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Music/04/10/peta.pet.shop.boys/index.html">Inspired by</a></span></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2009/04/nfl-asks-band-rednex-to-change-name.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-6768455216968848568Fri, 03 Apr 2009 03:08:00 +00002009-04-02T21:00:41.888-07:00Economic NewsFake News<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Prime Minister Gordon Brown said there was "no quick fix" for the world economy but there was a commitment to do whatever was necessary.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"This is the day that the world came together to fight back against Dr. Evil, not with words or deeds, but with buckets of cash," said Mr. Brown.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The deal was announced shortly before the European stock markets closed and gave leading </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">indices a significant boost.  Unfortunately, investors quickly realized that Dr. Evil was only likely to invest in industries that would uphold the ethical standards of an evil empire and the markets tumbled.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">On behalf of the G20, Mr. Brown announced the following steps:</span></div><div><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Bankers pay and bonuses will be subject to stricter controls unless the banker object</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">A new Financial Stability Board will be set up to work with the IMF to provide an early panic mechanism for the financial system</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">A common approach to hiding banks' toxic assets from public view</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The worlds poorest countries will receive sharks with frickin' laser beams on their heads</span></li></ul><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">A small group of protestors gathered earlier at the London Stock Exchange, but later dispersed when rumors that Starbucks was offering free Grande Soy Carmel Macchiatos to the first 50 protestors.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7979483.stm">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2009/04/g20-leaders-seal-1-gajillion-deal-with.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-4210682306783626651Sat, 28 Mar 2009 05:54:00 +00002009-03-27T23:19:58.112-07:00Fake NewsPolitics<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">President Barack Obama fielded questions on jobs, legalization of marijuana, the auto industry, legalization of marijuana, universal health care, legalization of marijuana, mortgages, legalization of marijuana, the economic crisis, and legalization of marijuana as he kicked off a first-of-its-kind Internet era Town Hall at the White House.  Obama said job creation in America is difficult in a time of economic hardship, but was essential so that he could land a high-paying job after he left the presidency.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Look. I didn't fight a tough campaign for the presidency just so I could end up earning minimum wage asking people if they want fries with that," said Obama.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Before the meeting got under way, the White House had gotten over 100,000 online questions, of which 95,000 were about legalization of marijuana. Nonetheless, Obama refused to commit to making the legalization of marijuana a cornerstone of his economic recovery plan.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"We need our economic stimulus to get people on their feet and growing the economy not sitting on the couch, eating Doritos and watching a South Park marathon," said Obama.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics/story/968525.html">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2009/03/obama-wants-high-paying-job-in-future.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-2706514990062941040Thu, 19 Mar 2009 03:55:00 +00002009-03-18T21:38:06.931-07:00Fake NewsSports News<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez underwent arthroscopic surgery Monday to repair his damaged reputation and remove the media spotlight that has been shining upon him for the last few weeks.  </span><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Rodriguez has been caught up in a media frenzy spanning rumors of an affair with Madonna to revelations of illegal steroid use. "The surgery went exactly as we planned," said Dr. Baron Munchausen, who performed the 80-minute procedure in Vail, Colorado. "There is no doubt in our minds that this was the best option for Alex and for the Yankees."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Hospital staff, speaking on the condition of anonymity, said that the surgery was much more complicated than claimed. "It isn't easy to remove the media spotlight from that large of an ego," said a hospital orderly who assisted with the surgery.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Earlier attempts to repair Rodriguez's reputation by means of a half-hearted public apology were disastrous and nearly cost Rodriguez a number of endorsement contracts.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Rodriguez's and his ego are expected to make a full recovery.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; "><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.usatoday.com/sports/baseball/al/yankees/2009-03-09-arod-surgery_N.htm">Inspired by</a>  </span><br /></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2009/03/surgery-expected-to-take-rod-out-of.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-4076967990034204267Tue, 24 Feb 2009 02:32:00 +00002009-02-23T18:52:23.182-08:00Fake NewsGay NewsPolitics<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The Utah Senate stopped working for about two hours Monday as Republicans privately met to make comments that gay people don't have morals and that gay activists are among America's greatest threats.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Republican Sen. Chris Buttars of West Jordan said that gay people don't have any morals and he compared gay activists to radical Muslims, saying they're one of America's greatest threats.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Sen. Greg Bell said Monday he disagrees with at least one of Buttar's comments. "I think I could say that, to a person, everyone in our caucus supports traditional marriage. Many of us, however, feel that the tenor, the examples, some of the phrasing that Sen. Buttars used in his controversial comments, were intolerant and immoderate," Bell said. "I've met some perfectly fine Muslims."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"It was a venting process, in my judgement, and that's why it took the time it took," said Sen. Pete Knudson. "I think that's a healthy part of this whole situation, is that no one is being told what to think, no one is being told how to think, but they had their opportunity to express their disgust with gays, the gay lifestyle and the gay agenda and I think that was very, very good for the caucus."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 - All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29356472/">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2009/02/utah-senate-stops-work-to-make-anti-gay.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-5634707040807233964Tue, 03 Feb 2009 03:21:00 +00002009-02-02T19:32:47.524-08:00Economic NewsFake NewsPolitics<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Senator John McCain says there's too much stimulus in the Obama administration's economic proposals to stimulate the economy.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The Arizona Republican and former presidential candidate also complains that the plan was too aggressive and should be scaled back just enough to allow the 2012 GOP nominee to attack Obama for not doing enough to restore the economy.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Interviewed Monday on CBS's "The Early Show," McCain said that after the economy recovers the U.S. should "be on a path to a republican administration."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Instead, he says, the Democrats' plan would burden future generations of Americans with economic prosperity.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">He says it's time for both parties to sit down and negotiate. He says the Democrats need to cave into his party's demands for more tax cuts for the wealthy.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics/story/883923.html">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2009/02/mccain-stimulus-bill-has-too-much.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-2390157766179690260Sat, 31 Jan 2009 04:10:00 +00002009-01-30T20:51:16.251-08:00Fake NewsPolitics<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Michael Steele, the former lieutenant governor of Maryland, was elected the chairman of the Republican National Committee on Friday as the party chose its first African-American scapegoat.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The election took six drawn-out ballots before they found their patsy.  President Bush's hand-picked incumbent chairman, Mike Duncan, showed strong early support as many members sought to continue to blame Bush for every bad thing that has happened to the party.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Obviously, the R.N.C. blows," Mr. Duncan said.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Momentum shifted to Mr. Steele, when Ken Blackwell, the former Ohio secretary of state who was single-handedly responsible for manipulating the 2004 Presidential election in favor of Bush, endorsed Mr. Steele. "I endorsed Mr. Steele because of his strong conservative values and record of leadership," said Mr. Blackwell. "Also, regardless of whether the Republicans or Democrats win the next election, we'll be able to blame a black man."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Chip Saltsman of Tennessee had been gaining support on the popularity of his racist parody song entitled, "Barack the Magic Negro." However, he was forced to drop out of the race on the eve of the election when his ballot qualifications apparently "disappeared."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/31/us/politics/31web-steele.html">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2009/01/republicans-choose-first-black.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-7470079825898788184Wed, 28 Jan 2009 03:23:00 +00002009-01-27T19:58:06.435-08:00Culinary NewsFake News<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Blowfish testicles prepared by an unauthorized chef sickened seven diners in northern Japan, reported the Associated Press on Tuesday morning, causing millions of print and on-line readers to fall ill.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Blowfish, while extremely poisonous if not prepared properly, is considered a delicacy in Japan and is consumed by thrill-seeking gourmets. Conversely, there are few, if any, people who read news as a means of thrill-seeking.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Within minutes of publishing the story, hospitals across the U.S. were overrun with patients with complaints ranging from a general nausea to projectile vomiting.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">A 68-year-old reader remained hospitalized in critical condition with dehydration after hurling repeatedly.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"It's scary. If you open a decent-looking newspaper or a reputable web site, you would assume that they have editors that screen stuff like that," said Gretchen Hurlburt. "Blowfish testicles? I could have lived a long, happy life not knowing that anyone would eat blowfish testicles. That's just ... ewww!"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The blowfish testicle article is the most nauseating news story to hit newsstands since 2004 when three million people fell ill and thousands vowed never to drink coffee again as a result of an Associated Press article on <a href="http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2004-01-20-civet-coffee_x.htm">Kopi Luwak</a> or Civet Coffee. Kopi Luwak is made from coffee beans that have been eaten and passed, whole, through the digestive tract of a civet cat and reportedly has a distinct odor and flavor.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Ewww!</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28874327/">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2009/01/blowfish-testicle-article-sickens.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-4513372833074335757Tue, 27 Jan 2009 05:16:00 +00002009-01-26T22:00:03.693-08:00Fake NewsPolitics<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">As Governor Rod Blagojevich's impeachment trial got underway Monday, the embattled governor hit the media circuit to make a public appeal to save his job.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Blagojevich appeared on ABC's "Good Morning America" and "The View" as well as CNN's "Larry King Live."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Blagojevich revealed for the first time his short list of potential candidates, including: Oprah Winfrey, Michael Jackson and Mr. Ed. "Oprah and Michael Jackson are filthy stinking rich, but we had to rule out Mr. Ed because he's a horse. Also he's dead," said Blagojevich on "The View."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Blagojevich also said he looks forward to the day when he can sell his story in full, so that people do not judge him solely by the profanity-laced recordings of bribery demands that have been released to the public.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"I'm not (bleeping) guilty of any (bleeping) criminal wrongdoing," Blagojevich told Larry King. "I'm (bleeping) entitled to a (bleeping) presumption of (bleeping) innocence."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Asked on "Larry King Live" about his foul mouth, Blagojevich said, "Had I know that someone was (bleeping) listening, I wouldn't have used that (bleeping) language.  For those who might have been offended, I (bleeping) apologize. Again, I didn't know you were (bleeping) listening."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">In a statement released late on Monday, Blagojevich expressed his hope that Larry King director Randy Douthit would have a speedy recovery from the repetitive stress injury he experienced during Blagojevich's appearance on "Larry King Live."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/01/26/blagojevich.tv/index.html">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2009/01/blago-gone-loco.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-4388555805692384407Sat, 24 Jan 2009 02:41:00 +00002009-01-23T19:30:01.977-08:00Fake NewsLiteraturePolitics<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">If you thought being governor of Alaska and a new grandmother would be enough to fill the cold, dark nights of the Arctic State, you'd overestimate Sarah Palin, the failed vice presidential candidate.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">In addition to galavanting around the nation speaking to every reporter who is willing to speak with her, and more than a few who'd really rather not, Palin has reportedly enlisted the services of Washington lawyer Robert Barnett to help her shop for a book.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Sources close to Palin could not explain why she would need the support of a lawyer to purchase a book or even why she might want to actually read a book. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">One unnamed source reportedly said that Palin had very specific criteria for the type of book she wanted including: </span></div><div><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">All the good characters had to be evangelical Christains</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">All the bad characters had to be Muslims, minorities or socialists</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The bad characters had to realize the error of their ways and covert to Christianity, turn caucasian and become free market supporters</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Extra-marital sex was completely </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">unacceptable, unless it was performed by minors who became pregnant and chose to keep the baby, and then it had to be "pure"</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Violence was OK as long as it was perpetrated on Muslims, minorities or socialists</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Not one of the books available in the Wasilla public library</span></li></ul><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Palin has been trying to stay in the spotlight, presumably with an eye on 2012, and having read a book could help give her the credibility that she lacked in 2008.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-palin23-2009jan23,0,1399366.story">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2009/01/sarah-palin-may-be-shopping-for-book.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-3641436309552820414Thu, 22 Jan 2009 02:46:00 +00002009-01-21T19:55:51.679-08:00Fake NewsPolitics<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">President Obama took the oath of office -- again -- on Wednesday, out of what a White House lawyer described as "an abundance of concern that no one was paying attention the first time."</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The record crowd of 1.8 million people and more than 50 million people watching on television were lulled into a glassy-eyed stupor by the John Williams composition that was performed between the Vice Presidential and Presidential oaths.  The composition was performed by famed musicians Yo-Yo Ma, Itzhak Perlman, Gabriela Montero and Anthony McGill. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">A review of the video of the inauguration shows that the record crowd was strangely silent during Obama's oath of office and did not respond until cannons fired the 21-gun salute.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"We believe that the oath of office was administered effectively and the president was sworn in appropriately yesterday. But the oath appears in the Constitution itself and we believe that it needs to be witnessed. Out of an abundance of concern that no one was paying attention, Chief Justice Roberts administered the oath a second time," said White House Counsel Greg Craig in a statement issued early Wednesday night.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Obama was visibly perturbed that so many millions of people could have missed such a critical event.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"Are you ready to take the Oath?" Roberts asked.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"I was ready yesterday. Are you ready?" Obama replied.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The private swearing-in ceremony took 25 seconds according to White House pool reporters who witnessed the event.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"> <a href="http://voices.washingtonpost.com/44/2009/01/21/obama_takes_his_oath_of_office.html?hpid=topnews">Inspired by</a></span></span><br /></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2009/01/obama-takes-oath-of-office-again.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-3691558482433130917Wed, 21 Jan 2009 04:10:00 +00002009-01-20T21:13:26.031-08:00Automotive NewsFake News<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Fiat executives awoke Wednesday to discover that they had apparently bought 35% of Chrysler Corporation.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Chrysler CEO Robert Nardelli told stakeholders in a letter that this groundbreaking agreement would provide Chrysler with access to Fiat's line of popular, stylish and fuel-efficient vehicles and would bolster their case for receiving an additional $3 billion in federal bailout loans from the U.S. Treasury.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Fiat CEO Sergio Marchionne was somewhat vague about the agreement. "All I remember is that Robert and I went to a, how do you say, gentlemen's club in Detroit. Bouzouki Club, I think. Next thing I know, I am waking up feeling sticky and hung over with a copy of a signed contract tucked into my underwear," said Marchionne. "Apparently, I own 35% of Chrysler and I have the right to increase my share to 55%. Why would I want to do that?"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Chrysler had reportedly been negotiating with a variety of potential partners, including GM and Nissan. Chrysler had not been successful in any of those merger attempts. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Sources close to the negotiations said that Fiat met with Chrysler hoping to secure a deal comparable to the one that they negotiated with GM. In that deal, GM paid Fiat $2 billion to not merge with them.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Cal Barbee, of Barbee Chrysler Dodge Jeep in Medina, Ohio said the blending of the product lines would help both sides. "Long as we re-name them Chryslers, I have no problem selling them Fiats on our showroom floor," said Barbee. "Plus we've got a couple hundred minivans and SUVs we can send to Rome or wherever tomorrow."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/20/AR2009012000472_2.html">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2009/01/fiat-apparently-buys-stake-in-chrysler.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-5308544986765104140Wed, 21 Jan 2009 03:50:00 +00002009-01-20T20:09:13.474-08:00Fake NewsPolitics<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Vice President Dick Cheney pulled a muscle in his back while moving on Tuesday and has decided to just "stay put" White House press secretary Dana Perino said.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Cheney was reportedly moving the person-sized safe that is rumored to hold Cheney's personal records as well as millions of "lost" White House emails when he injured his back.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">His doctor recommended that he remain in a wheelchair and also hire someone to move his things for him.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Cheney, however, had other plans. "The Vice President is looking forward to remaining in office for four more years," said Perino Tuesday night.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Elizabeth Alexander, spokesperson for Joe Biden said, "He can't do that! He has to leave. Now!"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Cheney reportedly extended an olive branch to Biden. "He's invited Vice President Biden to go quail hunting as soon as his back is healed," said Perino.</span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2009/01/19/us/AP-Cheney-Wheelchair.html?partner=rss&amp;emc=rss">Inspired by</a></span></div></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2009/01/cheney-injures-back-decides-to-stay-put.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-9066380443204063441Sun, 18 Jan 2009 01:04:00 +00002009-01-17T17:38:33.910-08:00Consumer NewsEconomic NewsFake News<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Bankrupt electronics retailer Circuit City Inc. said Friday it will close its remaining 567 U.S. stores and sell all its merchandise.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"We are extremely disappointed by this outcome. They were insolent and so we had to have them liquidated," said Sid Horowitz, who represented Circuit City's main creditors.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">James Marcum, acting CEO for Circuit City said "We were unable to reach an agreement with our creditors and lenders to structure a going-concern transaction in the limited timeframe available."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"See," said Horowitz. "What the f*** does that mean?"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Circuit City wasn't a viable business in its business model in which surly customer service was paired with mediocre pricing.  "You need to have a service model that differentiates you from the competition and keeps pace with the changing needs of the consumer," said Chip Watts of the Electronics Consumer Federation, and industry advocacy group. "Unfortunately, Circuit City chose to differentiate themselves by being insolent and driving their remaining customers to low price leaders like Wal-Mart or service leaders like Best Buy."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://money.cnn.com/2009/01/16/news/companies/circuit_city/index.htm?postversion=2009011617"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: georgia;">Inspired by</span></a><br /></span></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2009/01/circuit-city-to-be-liquidated-for.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-1720128320372310914Fri, 16 Jan 2009 01:06:00 +00002009-01-15T22:16:17.573-08:00CanadiansFake NewsTerrorTravel<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Homeland Security investigators are pursuing early indications that a sleeper cell of Canadian Geese attacked a US Airways jet shortly after taking off.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Bush administration officials immediately said that there was no way that anyone could have suspected that geese could cause such damage to an aircraft.  However, since 2000, at least 486 planes have been damaged by so-called bird strikes, according to the records of the Federal Aviation Administration.  In 166 of those cases, the planes were forced to make emergency landings, and 66 led to aborted takeoffs.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Homeland Security officials, who asked not to be named, voiced suspicions that the suicide attack may have been the work of Al Qaeda. The suicide attack seems to fit Al Qaeda's pattern of returning to targets that they have tried to strike without success in the past.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Terrorism expert Dr. Alexander Bode, Executive Director of the Ohio State Homeland Institute of Technology (OSHIT), said that it was possible that the suicide attackers may have been activated by a coded message in the Osama bin Laden's taped audio message that was released Wednesday. "The overt message called on Muslims everywhere to fight Israel in a holy war, but when you play the message backwards at half speed, you can clearly hear Celine Dion's cover of '<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wlCqVAY37E">You Shook Me All Night Long</a>'," said Dr. Bode. "Our research has shown that this song is one of the most effective triggers for launching a suicide attack."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Homeland Security officials have been criticized for their inability to stop Canadian Geese from freely traveling across the border between the U.S. and Canada forcing citizens to resort to vigilante justice to protect their homes from the invading fowl.  Each year some 1.8 million private citizens spend $1.3 billion protecting themselves from waterfowl invasions from Canada, according to statistics from the U.S. Fish &amp; Wildlife Service.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Predator B aircraft have been <a href="http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2008/12/aircraft-deployed-to-protect-us.html">patrolling the skies over North Dakota</a> since early December. However Sen. Charles Schumer, D-NY questioned the Bush administration's decision to deploy the aircraft to North Dakota "instead of somewhere that's actually worth protecting."  Sen. Schumer promised that the matter would be thoroughly investigated. "It would be truly sad if we could not keep our nation safe from Canadian geese," said Schumer.  </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/16/nyregion/16strike.html?_r=1&amp;hp">Inspired by</a>   </span></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2009/01/us-airways-jet-attacked-by-canadian.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-4753166027727257870Tue, 13 Jan 2009 02:54:00 +00002009-01-12T20:17:31.972-08:00Fake NewsPolitics<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">In response to President Bush calling for a "compassionate" Republican Party and warning against the GOP becoming "anti-immigrant", GOP leaders told Bush to "mind his own f***ing business."</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"It's very important for our party not to narrow its focus, not to become so inward-looking that we drive people away from a philosophy that is compassionate and decent," the president said in a Fox News interview.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"Who does he think he is? We spend eight years dutifully following him and that Cheney bastard. And it turned out that he led us off a cliff," said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-KY. "Forget the damage to the country, it's going to take 20 years to repair the damage he's caused the GOP."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"I can't see the GOP picking up a seat or having a significant voice in the legislative process in the foreseeable future," said House Minority Leader John Boehner, R-OH. "Our only hope now is to appeal to the shattered core of the conservative base - the racists, the warmongers and the evangelical nutcases. Let me tell you, there is no room for compassion or decency in that coalition."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/11/AR2009011101332.html">Inspired by</a></span></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2009/01/gop-tells-bush-to-mind-his-own-fing.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-9219535358096960888Sun, 11 Jan 2009 19:28:00 +00002009-01-11T18:31:49.477-08:00Economic NewsFake NewsSports News<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">An estimated 100 million people watch the Super Bowl each year, many of them to see the ads as much as the game.  </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">And while the big game still maintains its aura of hype and glitz, the economic crisis continues to impact its traditional advertisers. Major advertisers such as FedEx and General Motors have already opted out for this year and others are expected to follow suit.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The lower demand for Super Bowl advertising has dramatically reduced the rates that NBC has been able to charge, thereby allowing some unlikely advertisers to buy in.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">New to this year's Super Bowl advertising roundup are the Mesothelioma Legal Support Institute and the Bedazzler.  NBC has denied reports that Billy Mays is </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">choreographing an interpretive dance based on Mighty Putty for the half-time show.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Many familiar names will also be advertising during this year's Super Bowl, including Coca-Cola, Monster Worldwide, GoDaddy.com and Bridgestone Tires. CareerBuilder had been anticipated to advertise, but a spokesman said that continuing internal restructuring may lead to their withdrawl. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Sources, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said that CareerBuilder was strongly considering changing its name to BarelyGettingBy. NBC refused to comment.<br /></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"> <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/01/10/MNI71559J9.DTL&amp;type=business&amp;tsp=1">Inspired by</a></span></span><br /></div></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2009/01/hard-times-change-super-bowl-ads.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-5202619083406330876Sat, 10 Jan 2009 03:09:00 +00002009-01-09T21:36:18.399-08:00Culinary NewsFake News<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">President Bush established the largest culinary reserve ever when he designated Italian restaurants in Boston, New York and Philadelphia as national monuments, administration officials said.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The new Marinara Sauce monuments include such famous restaurants as Cantina Italiana in Boston, Cacio E Vino in New York and Dante &amp; Luigi's in Philadelphia.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"These locations are truly among the last pristine restaurants in the culinary environment on Earth," said James Pepperman, head of the adminstration's Council on Culinary Quality.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">However, not everyone is happy with the move.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"We feel the monument is not based on science and is merely a feel-good attempt by the administration to leave some sort of legacy behind," said Fotis Papadopoulos of the Hellenic Culinary Association. Administration officials denied the accusations of culinary bias.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">On the condition of </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">anonymity, a white house employee said that the president was "stoned out of his skull and got the munchies. The next thing we know he's screaming at us to create a monument to marinara sauce, of all things."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.usatoday.com/tech/science/environment/2009-01-05-mariana-trench_N.htm">Inspired by</a> </span></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2009/01/bush-to-make-marinara-sauce-national.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-5836950686079997615Fri, 09 Jan 2009 06:18:00 +00002009-01-08T22:45:28.759-08:00Fake NewsTravel<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">The Deal:</span> Round-trip airfare on Virgin America Airlines, two night's accommodations, two included escorts, and all taxes and condom surcharges, from $169 per person.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">When:</span> Through Oct. 31, 2009</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">The Fine Print:</span> Based on Sunday and Monday departures only; the rates will be slightly higher on other days. Use promo code 3SOME. Based on double occupancy with one escort per night. Single occupancy rates are higher.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Why It's a Deal:</span> Airfare from San Francisco to Las Vegas is likely to cost at least $133. For only $36 more per person, you get serviced by one of Sin City's finest escorts and lodging at the Rock Hard Hotel &amp; Casino.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Before You Go:</span> Transfers are not included; you can catch a shuttle to the Strip for $6 one way. And remember - What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28560062/">Inspired by</a> </span></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2009/01/city-of-sin-offers-threesome-getaway.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-5852052881124116683Wed, 07 Jan 2009 01:43:00 +00002009-01-07T18:43:09.787-08:00Fake NewsPoliticsTechnology<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Apple CEO, Steven P. Jobs, might face a mission impossible should he win Senate confirmation as the new head of the Central Intelligence Agency, a clandestine government service battered by years of controversy and facing demands for reform.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The reported selection of Jobs, 53, who is CEO of Apple and is Disney's largest shareholder, caused a flurry of head-scratching among former intelligence operatives and policy analysts mainly because Jobs has no real experience in either government or foreign policy.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"I was not informed about the selection of Steve Jobs to be the CIA director," said Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-CA, who will chair the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence and Sneakiness in the 111th Congress. "I mean, Steve Jobs? Where the f*** did that come from?"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Kind of a mystifying pick, isn't it? There's just no experience there that suggests he has any ... I mean, what the f***? Steve Jobs heading the CIA," said Michael Umbrage. "I mean, you'd like to give the president the benefit of the doubt. And there probably aren't a lot of talented Americans in either party that want to be the head of the CIA. But, Steve Jobs?"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Mr. Jobs anticipated some of the criticisms of his selection at his press conference. "The cure for the CIA is to innovate its way out of its current predicament," said Jobs. "Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me ... Going to bed at night saying we've done something wonderful ... that's what matters to me."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">When asked about what aspects of high Apple leadership style he intended to bring to the CIA, Job replied, "Some people aren't used to an environment where excellence is expected. We're here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise why else even be here."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2009 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/01/06/MN001542QO.DTL">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2009/01/choice-of-steve-jobs-to-head-cia.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-6268723236923183264Wed, 31 Dec 2008 01:21:00 +00002008-12-30T19:54:52.174-08:00Fake NewsPolitics<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Governor Rod R. Blagojevich of Illinois said Thursday that he will appoint Roland W. Burris, who was the winning bidder on the governor's eBay auction to fill President-elect Barack Obama's U.S. Senate seat.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The defiant Blagojevich, who is facing impeachment proceedings in the Illinois House as well as federal corruption charges has denied all wrongdoing. "As governor I am required to make this appointment," a self-assured Blagojevich said. "If I don't make this appointment, then I'd have to give back my eBay auction proceeds."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The Senate Democrats released a letter reiterating their view that Mr. Blagojevich "is a special kind of stupid" if he believes that any appointment that he makes will be accepted by the Democratic Caucus.  Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-NV, said, "There is no f---ing way that is going to happen!"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/31/us/31illinois.html?_r=1&amp;hp">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2008/12/gov-blogojevich-announces-ebay-auction.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-2165699413543080038Tue, 30 Dec 2008 03:20:00 +00002008-12-29T20:50:28.219-08:00Fake NewsPolitics<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The Republican Party reaction is divided over the decision of a candidate for the party chairman to distribute a CD that features a racially insensitive tune.  </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The majority of Chip Saltsman's political rivals are criticizing the timing of the discs release.  "I am shocked and appalled that Saltsman would use such shameless self-promotion to try to win the GOP chaimanship," said current Republican National Committee Chairman Mike Duncan. "</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"I know I laughed until I cried and peed a little bit when I first heard this on Rush," said Michigan GOP chairman Saul Anuzis. "But, still. Anything that paints the GOP as being motivated purely by racism in our criticism of President-elect Obama does a disservice to our party. We're also motivated by the fact that he's a gay-loving, socialist baby-killer."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Republican Party of Florida Chairman Jim Greer - who has also been weighing a run for the party's top spot - released a statement praising Saltsman's critics. "As the GOP Chairman in one of our most ethnically-diverse states, I know how important it is to be as inclusive as possible. A lot of attention has been paid to the 'Barack the Magic Negro' song, but it's important to note that the CD also contained songs offensive to hispanics and the poor. "</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"I think most people understand overt racism as a legitimate form of humor," said Saltsman.  "I think most RNC members understand that racially insensitive humor is just good fun."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">But some younger members of the party were less understanding. James Richardson, the RNC's online communication manager for the 2008 election cycle, called Saltsman's move "quite the revealing faux pas."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">"Did I just speak French? Dammit! Now I'll never be able to get another job in the GOP," added Richardson.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/12/29/saltsman.obama.song/index.html">Inspired by</a> </span></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2008/12/gop-divided-over-barack-magic-negro.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-4319815618336360134Sat, 27 Dec 2008 03:22:00 +00002008-12-26T20:16:44.806-08:00Fake NewsLocal News<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">A burst dike at a coal-fired power plant in eastern Tennessee spilled "a whole shitload" of ash - more than originally estimated - officials said Friday.  The Tennessee Valley Authority had first estimated that barely a buttload of ash had spilled in the breach.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">TVA spokesman, Richard Head, could not explain the discrepancy. "At this point, we believe that the initial estimate may have been just a wild-ass guess."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">One local resident whose land is covered in 10 feet of ash and debris said he is not drinking the local water and is keeping his children inside until he can send them to a relative's house, "because I don't feel comfortable with them around here."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"I don't know what people are getting so </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">pissy</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> about. We're cleaning it up," said Head. "We have almost a hundred workers cleaning up the mess. Also, people should take comfort in knowing that President Bush has ordered the EPA to find that the spill does not pose a health threat to either the local residents or those living downstream."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/12/25/national/a052635S76.DTL">Inspired by</a><br /></span></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2008/12/utility-estimates-whole-shit-load-of.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9015227113042973260.post-4261336951338288478Sat, 27 Dec 2008 02:58:00 +00002008-12-26T20:17:08.712-08:00Fake NewsPolitics<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">A candidate for the Republican National Committee chairmanship said Friday the CD he sent to RNC members as a Christmas gift - which included a song titled "Barack the Magic Negro" - was clearly intended as racism.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"I think most people recognize racism when they see it," Tennessee Republican Chip Saltsman said.  "I think RNC members understand that."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The song, set to the tune of "Puff the Magic Dragon," was first played on racist commentator Rush Limbaugh's radio show in 2007.  Saltsman said the song, penned by his longtime friend Paul Shanklin, should easily be recognized as racism directed at Obama.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Saltsman said, "I think it's important for the chairman of the RNC to fully reflect the core beliefs of the party. This CD proves, beyond a doubt, that I can be as racist and insensitive as anyone in the GOP - except maybe Trent Lott."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">(c) Copyright 2008 All rights reserved</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/12/26/rnc.obama.satire/index.html">Inspired by</a>  </span></div>http://thepicayunedispatch.blogspot.com/2008/12/rnc-chairman-defends-racism.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (The Picayune Dispatch)0