tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77799758869484512132026-10-17T19:52:36.032-04:00The UnexpectedThe <i>best</i> things in life are the unexpected. Because there are no <i>expectations</i>-unknownNicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.comBlogger380125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-43377347908394821852018-03-24T21:22:00.003-04:002018-08-07T11:14:26.113-04:00It's been a long time, since I've seen you my friend.I haven't been here in years. It's been a long, long time since I've blogged.. but a lot has been on my mind, so here I return.
My recovery has been on my mind a lot lately. Come September it will be 10 years clean. Yet, 10 years ago this month is when I first used. I still can remember why I choose a drug over anything else. Therapy wasn't working, meds were making me worse, suicide was lookingNicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-74921625170054118592011-09-10T09:18:00.002-04:002011-09-10T09:18:59.172-04:00Some families have two Daddy's
That was the sentence that started one hell of a long conversation with Thomas last night.
I was at the table with the kids eating dinner. Thomas asked if he could be the Daddy since Tom wasn't home. But then Collin wanted to be the Daddy. They argued and Thomas' response was there could only be one Daddy.
"Some families have two Daddy's," was my reply. We've had a conversation very similar Nicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-58605435837171150802011-05-07T12:51:00.001-04:002011-05-07T12:51:26.475-04:00Happy Anniversary to me![Click to Enlarge]
Six years ago I walked down the aisle a blubbering mess. Pregnancy hormones and seeing him at the 'make-shift alter' had the waterworks flowing before I even stepped into through the double doors.
It's been a long, difficult six years. More up and downs than I'd ever think possible for two people to endure. I used to blog whenever I was down, more often than now it was Nicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-2665049756335219232011-03-31T01:10:00.001-04:002011-03-31T01:13:50.619-04:00Smelling the Roses"The optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious to the rose."
Sometimes even the most pessimistic person really needs to just stop and smell the roses. Being the "glass is half empty" person I tend to be, I need to remind myself of this. Tonight is one of those nights.
I can sit here and focus on Tom being laid off, yet again. I can focus on the Nicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-35380957440429071102011-03-27T21:22:00.000-04:002011-03-27T21:22:06.532-04:00Kisses for Daddy.It was one hour ago, I put the boys to bed.
It was twenty minutes ago I had posted on Facebook about all three children being asleep.
Apparently one was faking.
Of course, after his 2 hour nap today, bedtime was not going to be that easy.
But, it's okay. He's being cute.
He came slowly tiptoeing out of his bedroom, and over to the couch where my husband lay, and kissed his arm.
Then his Nicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-53210953341253339182011-03-19T11:50:00.000-04:002011-03-19T11:50:45.619-04:00Snapshot Saturday: Before & AfterNicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-17111495035300502442011-03-12T10:00:00.000-05:002011-03-12T10:00:13.418-05:00Snapshot Saturday & Weight loss crap
While looking at this photograph, my daughter announced, "There Daddy! Hi!" What a way to boost a self-conscious mom's self esteem. It shouldn't have bugged me, considering she calls both Tom and I daddy now..
I am at 25 lbs lost. Before I get the "way to go"s and "your doing great", wait a minute. That means I've only lost 5 lbs since December 6th. I need to step up to the plate. Nicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-81225777519282470692011-03-02T07:05:00.000-05:002011-03-02T07:05:01.372-05:00One screw up, and so much lost.March 17th will be 30, yes 30 months clean. 30 months on this damn methadone program. 30 months struggling month after month to lower my dose. 30 months struggling just to get to the program to get medicated. Struggling to get to the program and home for the hubs to get to work on time. Struggling to find babysitters to get my monthly group in. Struggling and fighting so hard just to make contactNicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-77093784681197448532011-02-25T00:04:00.001-05:002011-02-25T00:22:28.060-05:00Evil KittyWhen my son chose the only all black kitten out of a litter of all perfectly mixed black and white cats, that looked like cows I did not stop to think about stigma behind black cats. It's just a cat. Right?
Then when he named our new little boy kitten, "Darth Vader" (Vader for short), again I didn't think we were setting up anything negative.
Then we moved. And the cat moved with us. This cat hasNicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-67115552501071539992011-02-08T13:01:00.001-05:002011-02-08T13:06:25.183-05:00Distraction.I've been struggling so hard the past month and a half. Trying to distract myself with every little thing. Working out, reading, putting on my happy face online and with everyone I speak to. As the weeks have passed, it's becoming harder and harder to distract myself. Just sitting and watching television isn't enough if I have to sit through commercials. Sitting online isn't enough when I take a Nicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-36102855837288372112011-01-30T09:31:00.000-05:002011-01-30T09:31:46.445-05:00They're growing up.(warning: sex and drugs as a child mentioned.)
All children grow up. All people grow. It's just harder when it's your children and you weren't the best behaved teen on the block.And neither was your spouse.
So many people think of 11, 12, 13, 14 year olds as very young. Hell, even I think it's young. But is it really so young that it's shocking that kids at these ages think about sex? That kidsNicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-74661371481016722412011-01-29T22:42:00.002-05:002011-01-29T22:42:58.298-05:00365 Week Four Recap!-Snapshot Saturday22. Party Prepping, Cookie Baking, & Actually Getting Along 23. Family, Friends, & Celebration 24. Colorful, Lost in the Crowd, & One of a Kind25. Arts & Crafts, & Sibling Fun26. Annoyed, Disgusted, & Sick of Snow27. 18 inches, Trapped plows, & Everyone walks28. Nap time, A tired Mom, & Finger Paints
Nicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-55942978654312514842011-01-28T10:57:00.000-05:002011-01-28T10:57:54.297-05:00No more snow please!This has been one hell of a snowy Winter in the North East, with record totals for the month of January. I am beyond sick of it. Especially since I've yet to get my photo of the snow coming down. Just can't seem to capture it. Really ticks me off...
Anyway, this last storm that hit (18 inches here, on top of the few feet of snow already on the ground....) had brought me entire street closer Nicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-1439088234070976072011-01-23T00:53:00.000-05:002011-01-23T00:53:26.682-05:00Magical.Fun. Worthwhile. Love-filled. Amazing. Giddy. A few hours I will cherish forever.
All ways I will remember tonight.
Many know I am very anal about bedtime. 8pm is time for the boys to go down, then Bailey and I to cuddle while she nurses, then she goes down. Many nights I stress and get upset as Collin flat out refuses to go to bed, even if he is dead tired. Tonight was one of those nights.
Nicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-66043598305680297182011-01-22T11:00:00.001-05:002011-01-22T11:01:21.197-05:00365 Week Three Recap!-Snapshot SaturdayNicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-14381121604346462142011-01-18T12:15:00.000-05:002011-01-18T12:15:43.155-05:00Another failed Birthday Party.Collin's birthday party is fast approaching. It is this Sunday. We are still struggling with after-Christmas catch up, and Tom is laid off again. Unfortunately, between having to pay the rent this week and taking Collin out to celebrate yesterday, and grocery shopping, we are pretty much tapped out. This will be yet, another party I cannot provide for my children. Another party I have to count onNicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-13066410680581765852011-01-18T11:58:00.000-05:002011-01-18T11:58:59.071-05:0024 on the 23rd.My 24th birthday is fast approaching. Most people I know feel so old when they think of their age. I am so completely the opposite. I feel so young when I think of my age. 23? I'm just 23? I'm only turning 24? How can that be? When I think of being with Tom for nearly 11 years, and being married for nearly 6, and when I think of having three children and being pregnant 5 times, I can't believe I Nicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-32229680582490676622011-01-15T11:00:00.000-05:002011-01-15T11:00:41.245-05:00365 Week Two Recap!(Click to Enlarge)
We two was filled with cold, snow, sickies, laundry. You know, just plain life.Saturday we went out to play in the snow, came in had hot chocolate and soup for lunch.Then the sickies kicked in full force. Friday afternoon, Bailey had the pukes and shits. Saturday morning, the hubs did. I thought it was a food issue, as the boys and I were fine. At least at that point. Nicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-27104554209640180482011-01-15T10:09:00.001-05:002011-01-15T10:49:34.433-05:00Snapshot SaturdayBeen a while since I did a Snapshot Sat. post!The little lady chose her outfit for the very first time. Didn't she do a great job? Hehe!
Nicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-34657708200151781762011-01-12T18:59:00.000-05:002011-01-12T18:59:31.320-05:00
Yes, Collin is about to turn 3. Three? How did that happen? Crazy to think that the year he was born changed our lives so much. We are still struggling to get back to where we were before his birth, 3 years later.
Photo courtesy of TheUnexpected365.blogspot.com
Small, sweet, Collin has learned such an amazing amount of new things since his last birthday. One year ago, he only pointed and Nicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-64044478020558263322011-01-08T10:48:00.000-05:002011-01-08T10:48:21.786-05:00365 Week One Recap!I've mentioned starting a 365 Project, on my new blog, and so far I've stuck with it!
I thought I'd share with you all my first week of 365 photo's!
(Please Click to Enlarge!)Nicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-820892280350708412011-01-06T12:09:00.002-05:002011-01-06T22:10:29.359-05:00Disney On Ice-Review (Including Discount Code!)(If interested in attending this magical even please skip to the last part of this entry to receive $5 off ticket prices! This show is perfect for all ages, from infant to elderly!)
Wow. Just wow. Last night, for the first time ever I got to enjoy a Disney on Ice performance on opening night at the Hartford, CT XL Center. Considering what a huge Disney fan I am, this was a wonderful treat for meNicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-40121559346273289162011-01-03T13:44:00.000-05:002011-01-03T13:44:39.599-05:00Just Two WeeksJust two weeks from today my baby boy, Collin, will turn 3.Three? Already? How can that be? But, it will be.He will be 3.
Nicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-78575871669782529922011-01-01T22:28:00.000-05:002011-01-01T22:28:18.735-05:00 I don't know if you remember, but I posted on Dec. 18th, that the hubs, kids, and I will be going to see Disney on Ice on the 5th. I just realized we are just 4 short days away! I cannot wait to see their faces! I hope I am able to bring my camera in! (Reminder to check the XL's center's photography rules...)
If you're not too far off from Hartford, and want to check out the showNicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779975886948451213.post-82683884294488321522010-12-30T21:05:00.002-05:002010-12-30T21:06:24.397-05:00GoodBye 2010I know I'm a day early and all, but based if my recent blogging habits say anything, it's that I have tons of idea's but haven't been posting. So while it's on my mind, let me write it down.
2010 was a very strange year all and all. We were newly living in a new, tiny apartment. Had a 3 month old baby girl. Dealt with a lay off already lasting way too long. Hubby went back to work. I quit my jobNicole M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15819196049023757070noreply@blogger.com0