To Make Him Known

Welcome Home {pictures}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 23:26:00 +0000

Today marks 3 weeks since arriving home from Ethiopia and I am finally getting around to posting a few pictures from the much anticipated home-coming.

These were while we were trying to pack to leave. Um, do you think they were just a little excited?!

Their first time on an airplane... something they had only dreamed of.

Even the airport was an exciting adventure!

There were so many friends and family there to greet us at the airport... a welcome sight after 32 hours of travel!

It brought tears of joy to my eyes to see all of those who had been faithfully praying all these months there waiting to celebrate with us.

Our first glimpse of the waiting crowd...

No words. Just real and raw emotion.

Do you think she's happy to see her daddy? :)

What a reunion...

Incredible to see God's plan come to fruition at this moment.

First picture as a family of 8!!!

The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy!

Psalm 126:3

(A very special thanks to Steve Skibbie of Grand Design Photography for the airport pictures.)

He gives and takes away... A tribute to my Grandma

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 00:06:00 +0000

Yes, we're home. And it's been the hardest 2 weeks ever.

1 week after being home from Ethiopia, we lost my sweet Grandma. Yesterday we had her memorial service, exactly 2 weeks from the day our family was reunited at the airport. I don't understand the ways of the Lord, but I will say that I am thankful that Grandma knew Jesus and was surrounded by her loving family when she went to be with Him. This is a picture I took only a few days before she was gone.

The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” Job 1:21b

I promise to post about the kids soon and I have so many pictures of course. But because this blog is about more than just adoption, it's about making Christ known in every aspect of our life- I simply could not move on without sharing about my precious Grandma.

I had the wonderful privilege of sharing a tribute to Grandma at the service yesterday. I know it's wordy, (when am I not??!!) but I would love for you to read it and think about your own life and the legacy you will leave behind someday...

One of my favorite scriptures is Colossians 3:12-15. It says: “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”

As I remember Grandma today, I can’t help but think of this passage. It just fits who she was to me. Though Grandma wasn’t a bible scholar or preacher by any means, she was one of God’s beloved children- one who knew that she was dearly loved by Him and had a simple, child-like faith in Jesus. That is what she taught me. This verse talks about being clothed in these different virtues. Anyone who knew Grandma for more than a few minutes, experienced her compassion and kindness in some way. Grandma laughed with you and cried with you. And whether it was making food for 5 or 50 people, sewing baby blankets and clothes, traveling around the world, hosting parties for every holiday, or just sitting with a listening ear- she was definitely a people person in her own quiet way. She was also a woman who was humble and gentle. She never wanted anyone to fuss over her or make a big deal. Well, except when it came to rubbing her feet. Oh yes- that was a big deal! She used to pay us kids a dime or even quarters to rub those calloused feet- until we got old enough to be grossed out and so we’d pass the job down to a younger cousin!

Grandma’s gentleness grew as the years went by. I saw her melt as she held her first great-grandchild and witnessed her joy and excitement at each and every one to come after. A few years ago she started attending women’s bible study with me. I loved having Grandma there as we opened God’s word together and during the week I would call her to see how she was doing on her lesson. She would kind of dance around the subject and ask how everyone in our family was doing or talk about some random thing. Finally after a while, she confessed that it was very difficult to do the study and hard for her to pay attention, but she kept coming because it made her so happy to see me and the kids every week. That was Grandma for you… she could never get enough family time.

Just by taking a look around, I think I can safely say that Grandma had many more friends than enemies. She was quiet, but loved making friends with people. She was not perfect, but she knew how to forgive when someone had wronged her and she encouraged me to do the same in my life. And when you saw how still in love my Grandparents were after 53 years of marriage, that wisdom went much deeper than simply words. Grandma and Grandpa lived out the saying that there is no love without forgiveness and there is no forgiveness without love.

And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Every memory I have of Grandma reminds me of how much she loved her family. The sweetest times of my childhood were spent playing at Grandma’s house or being on a trip with her and Grandpa. Even in the darkest of times, I always knew that Grandma and Grandpa were there and they loved me. My children and husband experienced that same kind of love from her as well. What a gift.

The end of the Colossians passage says: Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Towards the end of Grandma’s earthly life, her physical body began to fail. She had heart attacks, a stroke, and deadly cancer. There were several times in the past 4 years that we did not think she would survive. But not only did God give her another few miracle years, He gave her incredible peace in the midst of it all. And He gave her a husband who cared for her and loved her unconditionally. After one of her trips to the hospital Grandma told me that there must be a reason that God had spared her life- some reason that she was still alive. I told her there was- so she’d better live it well! And she did. She got a few more years of “bonus time” we liked to call it.

Grandma was so excited for Randy and I to bring our 2 newest children home. Either her or Grandpa would call about once a week to check in and see if there was any news about the adoption and she would get anxious if the blog hadn’t been updated in over a week! She was just ready to love on those kids and wanted to know why in the world it was taking so long! It was her idea for mom to come with me to Ethiopia a few weeks ago and I’m so thankful for that. And I will never forget her face that day a week and a half ago when I brought the kids to the hospital to see her. She completely lit up! She was like her old self- joking with the kids and wanting to know all about the trip. I snapped a picture, not knowing if it would be the last time I would see her smile this side of heaven.

It was.

So many times this week, I have closed my eyes and seen Grandma’s smiling face or heard her voice. I want to pick up the phone and call her and tell her about how it’s going with the kids or get excited and anticipate with her about Nati and Mihret’s first Easter at home and dying eggs with her. I don’t want to have to tell my 3 year old yet again why Great Grandma Mallet isn’t home when we go to her house- because that’s where she’s supposed to be right?

A few days before she passed, Grandma told Grandpa “Jesus has me in His arms.” It was very hard for Grandpa and all of us, but she had such a peace. And now that Grandma is truly HOME, we are thankful for that. I loved my Grandma dearly and will miss her so much, but I am so grateful for all of the wonderful time I got to have with her and Grandpa these past 32 years.

Grandma and Grandpa surrounded by their family (minus the 2 newest great-grandchildren)

Saying Goodbye

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 06:08:00 +0000

No time to post, but I wanted to add a few pictures of the going away party at Hope for the Hopeless. I have so many pictures and soon I will come back and write about this day as it was the definitely the most important one of this week.

I posted on Facebook last night and until I have a minute to write something, I thought I'd just copy it here:

This is our LAST night in Ethiopia... WOW. There is so much to share, but each night we are so tired that we just fall into bed. Yesterday was the going away party at Hope for the Hopeless. Trying to get a few pics up from that. It was a blast- games, songs, cake, campfire, smores, and lots of hugs, kisses and tears. The drive back was quiet as we all were processing the events of the evening. It was the most surreal feeling- how many times have Randy and I driven away from that compound and cried at leaving our kids behind... and this time the crying was different. It was for the life and "family" that Nati and Mihret were leaving behind. And as sad as it was, it was amazing to see God work in their little hearts. It was like that was the turning point for them & they are ready for their new life to begin. Last night and tonight they both wanted to sleep with me in the bed- so so sweet. And as I lay there with my 2 sleeping children beside me- I just thanked the Lord for my now 6 blessings and their daddy that we get to come home to very soon. Yes, it is only the beginning and it will be hard. But right now- I am feeling like the most blessed woman in the world!

This is the life!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 04 Mar 2012 05:46:00 +0000

Friday was a really fun day for us here in Ethiopia. We wanted to do something that the kids had never done before and originally I thought we would go to Lalibella. Well, when I realized that it was going to take 9 hours to get there- we quickly threw that idea out the window! Someday when Dani suggested we go to a local resort in Debre Zeit and hang out there for the day. Being that it was only a 45 minute drive- we liked this idea much better. :)

Having fun with the electronics during the drive. They love the i-pod and have already picked their favorite artists and songs they like to listen to. Toby Mac, David Crowder, and Lecrae are the favorites at the moment. :)

This was at Kuriftu Resort. The grounds were beautiful and it included a buffet lunch that was really good. My mom and I loaded up on the salad and vegetables- two things that we have really been missing this week. If my whole family were here, I could get used to this!

After lunch we got to go kayaking on the lake. Mom opted to stay behind in the shade while we took the kids. (By the way- this is Dani #2. He is a friend of the other Dani and he was our driver for the day.)

This was the first time the kids had ever been on a lake and in any kind of boat. It was really fun and worth the sore arms and sunburn later!

This little adventure helped Mihret and I to bond together. We had to work together to make the boat go where we wanted it to and we had fun getting eachother wet and being silly.

We raced each other to the dock...

Nati is the adventurous one. He is so cute and I can tell he likes exploring and trying new things. We saw some kids swimming in the lake with water buffalo and I asked him if he had ever been swimming before and he said he had only dreamed about it. Between that and going on an airplane- I told him that his dreams are about to come true! :)

Here he is hanging out by the pool at the resort... so cool.

The grounds at this place were so beautiful. Lots of flowers and plants everywhere. It was hot this day, so we had to take breaks in the shade throughout the day.

We stopped at the post office shops on the way home and got a little shopping done. We were so tired and hot and just felt like picking something up to take back to our room and eat The problem is that there is really no such thing as fast food around here. So we ordered some pizza and picked it up a half hour later. This is as close as you get to delivery...

Our little picnic on the balcony.

Or maybe these guys could have delivered the pizza for us. It only would have taken an hour or two! :)

Next up: the going away party in Sululta!

Letters from Daddy

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 03 Mar 2012 12:00:00 +0000

Randy wanted to be here with us so badly. This was the first time we have ever been away from each other for this long and this far away. We never travel without each other. But he was so sweet and loving and supportive both before I left and while we have been here. He wrote letters to Nati and Mihret before I left, I gave them to them yesterday and he gave me permission to share with you here. I cried reading these. So simple, yet so heartfelt- this love that a daddy has for his children.

Dear Nati,

Since the day we played catch with a little ball on the soccer field, I have longed to make you my son. I have wanted to teach you how to worship God, how to love a wife, and how to work hard. I want to hug you and tell you how proud I am of the young man you are becoming. I want to encourage you to continue to follow Christ and trust Him to mold you into the man He created you to be. I love you Nati and I wish I could be there with you now. Soon we will be together. Be sure to look after Mom and Mihret for me.

Love, Dad

My sweet Mihret,

From the first day we met I have dreamed that I could make you my daughter. I have wanted to love you, to protect you, and to tell you how beautiful God has made you. I am sorry that I could not be there now to hold your hand and laugh with you. Soon we will be together and I am so excited for the day, March 6^th, when you will finally come home to be my daughter forever.

Love, Daddy

Only a few more days until we are all together again. Although I know there are many who will be anxious to see these two precious faces, I can guarantee there is no one as anxious as their daddy. :)

I love you, Randy and cannot wait to see you soon!!!

The day our lives changed forever....

Another day in Ethiopia- Fun with friends and embassy appointment

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 20:28:00 +0000

I am not even sure what day it is anymore! I just didn't want to skip a day though so you will all be a day behind.

Anyway, Thursday was a good day for us and we were busy busy! My mom was not feeling too great, so she just stayed back to rest which it ended up being the perfect day to do that.

First, the kids and I took a walk to the guest house down the street and met up with our friends the Formans who were with us for court in December. They are here for an “extended stay” while they sort through all the mess of paperwork that needed to get done to get submitted for embassy. They were able to get their two newest kiddos the other day for good and were just submitted to embassy yesterday. They are here until the visas are issued so that may mean only a few more weeks or another month or more. It is great that they can all be here to bond as a family, but I know they are going to be ready to be home after all of this!

The kids were really cute together and played soccer a little and had fun rolling down the hill just being silly kids.

After our little visit, Dani picked us up and we headed to Layla house- our adoption agency’s office and also an orphanage setting for some of the children who are waiting to be adopted. Oh my, it’s a good thing these little ones already have families! Precious! We have been here a few times before, but this time it was really fun to be able to interact with some of the babies whose families I know!

This is little Eyob. His smile just melts anyone who will make eye contact! We were with his family for our court trip too and they are just waiting for his visa to being him home… c’mon embassy- speed it up for our friends!

As soon as we walked in the door, several of the toddlers made a bee line for me and held their arms up to be held. I tried to hold two at a time, and then finally sat down because there were about 3 more that were fighting for my attention.

I tried to get Nati and Mihret to come over and play, but they were reserved most of the time. They preferred to take pictures and videos and laugh while mom tried to juggle everyone! :)

Finally, towards the end Mihret started picking up the babies and tried to copy me to help them stop crying- she is so very sweet and tender!

After that it was time to head to the embassy for the big appointment. In typical fashion of our agency, no one showed up with us or told us if we were supposed to bring anything to this critical appointment. Nice. So Dani dropped us off in front of the U.S. embassy, and I prayed hard as we stood in line. All I had was my passport and a notarized power of attorney for Randy and I just hoped that it would be enough. Of course, it was because the embassy already had everything and the appointment did not last long at all. Out of curiosity, I did ask the worker why our case went through so very quickly when every other case has been taking much much longer to clear and amazingly he said that this was one of the most cut and dry, straight forward cases that they had seen. Pretty incredible considering all that we had to go through this past year and a half - not to mention that even our adoption agency warned us very early on that getting through the embassy might be our most difficult part of the entire process. Ha! God showed them!

We left and I just had this huge sense of relief that it was finally finished! This was the last step and we were cleared! We will get their visas on Monday morning so that we can fly home that night and they will be officially U.S. citizens!

My mom was feeling a little better that evening so she went with us to have dinner with Fekadu and also the children’s mother. It was good, but hard… as expected. That’s a whole other post for later though, after I have had some time to sort through it all and process how I am feeling about the whole thing.

The kids were exhausted and pretty much fell asleep instantly when we got back to the guest house. My mom and I snuck downstairs to try to call home and post some pics without the greatest of luck. As we were looking through pictures, we were cracking up together as we thought about all of the funny crazy experiences we have been having. She definitely has some stories to tell and hopefully I can get her to post some of them while were here so you can hear her perspective on this adventure! The kids are warming up to her more each day and it has just been a huge blessing to not only see her bond with the kids, but to see how much closer our relationship is becoming in just this week! More to come soon!

We're here and having a blast!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 03:30:00 +0000

So, yeah we've been here for a few days already and just now able to post a little something.

Our travel was long but pretty uneventful. The last flight from Germany was actually roomy, as we each had an empty seat next to us so we were able to spread out for a little bit. :)

We got here late Tuesday night and had a good night's sleep before seeing the kids the next day. Wednesday morning Nati and Mihret came to the guest house and greeted me with their big familiar smiles and hugs. My mom teared up at the sight of her newest grandchildren and of course they had big hugs for her too. This was just a few minutes after we were back together.

We took the kids up to the room and showed them their new things. They were pretty excited about their backpacks filled with goodies for the plane ride and their new clothes and shoes too. I asked them if they wanted to change into some of their clothes. They both said yes and then without prompting Nati decided that he needed a shower before putting on those clothes. ;) So they both got cleaned up and came out ready to get on with the day.

Our wonderful driver, guide and dear friend, Dani took us to lunch at Lucy's- a kind of touristy restaurant- and the kids picked burgers as their first meal out. While we were waiting, I pulled out my phone and they discovered the exciting games of fruit ninja and angry birds. They have been hooked on the phone ever since! Oh boy. Between the burgers and the games- they will fit right into the Wagenleitner clan.

Next we drove to Entoto mountain, where we got a very thorough tour of the museum and the first king of Ethiopia- Menelik's palace. It was interesting. We toured the grounds where there was the first church as well.

As we were driving down the mountain, Dani asked us if we wanted some coffee. My mom and I both were thinking along the same lines and figured- sure we can stop and buy some coffee. We had just been talking about buying some to take home with us and I was thinking since we were in the middle of no where, maybe it would be even cheaper. Imagine our surprise when we stopped and parked in the middle of the road to get out. We were parked on a fairly steep hill, so Dani made sure his car wouldn't roll and set the parking brake. (This was a medium sized rock placed under the back tire!)

We got out and climbed up the hill and some women set a few little stools out for us. One look around and we realized we weren't going to be buying coffee beans, but we were sitting down at a little outdoor "cafe" and being served some real Ethiopian coffee.

We have a few photographers on our hands. :)

The view from the mountain was really pretty- you can see the whole city from there... well almost. If it weren't for all of the smog in the air.

We did actually make our coffee bean purchase after coming down from the mountain. No one can come to Ethiopia and not buy coffee!

Stayed tuned for more of our crazy and fun adventure in Ethiopia tomorrow! :)

Ethiopia Bound!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 16:20:00 +0000

So I'm leaving for Ethiopia in just 2 days!!! This past week has not been without its challenges for sure. Getting ready to go to the other side of the world to bring two children home while trying to manage everything else around here is not for the faint-hearted!

Been craving a real Ethiopian macchiato. Mmm- only a few more days!

First, we had the issue with the flights. Since we had previously paid for 7 round trip flights to Ethiopia, one would think that surely we would have a few free flights coming our way with miles right? And one would think that we would be able to choose the flights right? Well, it was a little more complicated than that. Our favorite airline that we have flown twice before was no longer a partner with United, which is who we had a lot of our miles with. So we had figured out the next ideal travel arrangement and tried to get that worked out. Well, apparently when you use miles you have very limited flight options, even if the flight that you wanted is only half-full- they won't let you book it. So because we needed to use those miles we ended up booking 2 one-way tickets for the kids with an unfamiliar airline and then booking my flight separately on a different website. Well, that would have been the end of the story EXCEPT for one minor detail... for the last leg of the trip- I was on a completely different flight from Nati and Mihret! So I was scheduled to arrive at 5:30pm, while they were not coming home till 9:30pm! UM NO- that's not going to work! The site that we booked my tickets on wouldn't let us get the late flight, but we figured it was no big deal to just call United and have them change the kids' flights to the 5:30 one. WRONG! Randy spent hours over many days on the phone with them and they were not willing to budge. I mean Cmon- we're talking about a MOM and her CHILDREN here! Randy was so angry and finally got them to make an exception so that we could all be on the same flight home. Phew! That's a relief.

Then we had an incident last week with our youngest son Nathan who broke out in severe hives two days in a row. It was really scary and seemed to be getting worse, so Randy took him to urgent care and he got a shot of epinephrine. Within minutes, the hives were gone. Great. So he had an allergic reaction to something, but what in the world was it?! We got epi-pens just in case and had him stay clear of peanuts because he had a peanut butter cookie those two days that it happened, so we thought maybe that was it and he didn't have another outbreak again. We went to the allergist a few days ago and after getting poked with dozens of different things, it was determined that Nathan is not allergic to anything! Huh? Apparently, people can just have these acute outbreak of hives and not have any reason for them. So, we were thankful that he can eat peanut butter and everything else normally and just pray that we don't see those dreadful hives ever again!

So perhaps the best, most exciting thing that has happened this past week is that my mom is coming with me to Ethiopia!!! I was planning to go by myself, and felt confident for the most part because for me, it's like going home. I love Ethiopia and the friends that we have that I know will take care of me. Of course Randy and I are both sad that he can't come, but because our primary babysitters are on vacation for 2 weeks, it just seemed impossible for us to both go and leave our kids for 8 days.

My mom called me the other day while I was out on one of my many trips to Target (I've only been 5 times this week!) and asked if I wanted a travel companion. I was like- what do you mean? So she asked if she could come along with me to Ethiopia! I was seriously shocked and couldn't believe that she wanted to come! But she said she did and she just needed to see if she could get the time off work. So finally on Wednesday of this week her supervisor reluctantly let her have the week off and she booked her tickets on Thursday! This is huge! My mom is an elementary school teacher and as you can imagine, it is really stressful trying to find someone to sub for 7 days in a row on this short of notice and then preparing lesson plans and everything else for her absence all while getting ready to go to a foreign country in only 2 more days!

Us with my grandparents, my mom Diane, her husband Brett, and my brother Brandon

Also, my relationship with my mom has been pretty strained over the years- it's no big secret and I know she would agree with that fact. Life has been hard for both of us and instead of opening up and working on our relationship over the years, we have just kind of ignored it. We are nice to each other, but we just never seemed to have that mother-daughter bond and closeness that I have seen in other families. But lately that is changing. And I am so thankful. God is working on both of our hearts- I can feel it. And what better time to bond with eachother than on a trip like this?! This is definitely out of her comfort zone and I know that there will be times when it will be hard. But I am so proud of my mom for having the courage to be vulnerable and do this with me. I know that we will both be changed and blessed by this trip and I am just so excited for her to be able to experience my favorite place in the world with me!!! Plus she gets to be the first one to meet Nati and Mihret and spend a whole week with her new grandchildren- that's pretty special! I love you Mom!!!

So we leave Monday morning and will arrive in Addis on Tuesday night. Nati and Mihret will join us Wednesday morning and then our embassy appointment is Thursday March 1st. Friday we hope to do some sightseeing at Lalibella and then Saturday is the big going away party at the orphanage. Sunday we'll be with Fekadu's family at church and his home and then Monday we'll pick up the visas and have to say goodbye. We will be back home in Fresno on Tuesday March 6th and our family will finally all be TOGETHER!!! YAY!!!

It's finally here! We have been waiting 18 months for this and I can't believe it's only a few days away! Looking back, it has been a long, hard road but we can see now how God has just been in every single detail. It is really incredible. That day that we first met them we had no idea what we were in store for and I'm pretty sure we could not have handled knowing it all up front anyway.

And although this part of the process is coming to a close, we know that the journey is really only beginning. Our family is about to change forever. We are excited, but nervous at the same time. This is the biggest thing to happen to us for sure. We are confident that God who has been faithful this whole time, will be faithful as we adjust to being a family of 8 as well.

To all who have been a part of this journey. To all who have prayed, and given, and supported in so many ways. THANK YOU. We love each and every one of you and are so grateful for you. YOU are a part of this story! Praise God!

LOTS of changes around here! :) You need to read this post!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 12:00:00 +0000

Yeah, so it's been a few months since anything has been posted on this blog.

I'm not gonna lie. It's been a rough few months. We have had a lot of things going on in our family and it's been probably the hardest few months of our lives. Months of pain and suffering and heartache that I would not re-live for anything. Someday I hope to share some of it with you and God will use it all to bring glory back to Him, but for now it remains to be shared at another time.

SO....

On a more positive note, here's a little bit of an update on our crew. There have been lots of changes around here. Including:

Austin (15) getting the privilege of working outdoors with a friend, who works in construction, is very patient with teen boys and is just an all around cool guy. He worked for 2 weeks as an apprentice from 8-5, just like a real job- and he loved it!
Jensen (13) started attending jr high school at our local public school. It was quite a change from being home all day and they have SO much homework, but he is adjusting great and doing really well. He joined the track team and went to FCA last week and he is really getting in the groove of everything.
Nathan (11) started 5th grade at the local school 2 weeks ago and is doing pretty good as well. This is his very first public school experience, so again it is quite a change from being homeschooled for so long- but he is very social and already has made lots of friends. He is thrilled that he gets to ride his bike to and from school every day! (and so is mom!)
Austin began attending a center called Brain Balance a few weeks ago. He had intensive assessments done beforehand that helped the staff to develop a custom program specifically designed for him and that will stimulate the parts of his brain that aren't making the right connections. By integrating physical and cognitive exercises with dietary change, they are able to help correct the underlying imbalance, improve function and reduce or eliminate negative behaviors. We kind of stumbled upon it, but quickly realized that this is what we have been looking for and praying for for so long. He goes 3 days a week and also has exercises that must be done 7 days/week at home. I will let you know how it's going as we get further down the road.
Elliana (3) has been her typical self. She talks non-stop and simply must say hi to every person in the world, whether it's at the park, Target or on the phone. She misses her 2 brothers now that they are in school, but now she gets more one-on-one time with mommy so it's not really that bad. She wants to do "preschool" with me all the time- which basically is just coloring, learning letters and playing with playdough or puzzles- nothing fancy! She is very anxious for her new brother and sister to come home and play with her. She wakes up almost every morning and asks me if sissy (Mihret) is going to come home today? I tell her no. Then she asks if it will be "in a minute?" I say no, but it will be soon. "Tomorrow?" she will ask. And I have to tell her that it will be a little while longer. And up until yesterday, I had no idea when how much longer that little while was going to be. A few days ago, we were hoping that it might be mid to late March...

BUT....

Yesterday we got a surprise email from the embassy and....well.... there's a story behind it, but for now I just wanted to shout the news to y'all that I have been waiting for almost 18 months to shout. Perhaps the biggest change of all:

It's FINALLY happening!!!

OUR KIDS OUR COMING HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Most likely I will be traveling by myself, leaving in 2 weeks- February 27th. The visa appointment is scheduled for Thursday March 1st and Nati, Mihret, and I will be arriving HOME on Tuesday March 6th!

Did I REALLY just say that??!!!

HOME!!!

We will all be together!!! Yeah!!! I will update more soon, but for now...

Join with me in PRAISING GOD for this amazing, wonderful news!!!!

Praise the LORD!

Praise God in his sanctuary;

praise him in his mighty heavens!

Praise him for his mighty deeds;

praise him according to his excellent greatness!

Praise him with trumpet sound;

praise him with lute and harp!

Praise him with tambourine and dance;

praise him with strings and pipe!

Praise him with sounding cymbals;

praise him with loud clashing cymbals!

Let everything that has breath praise the LORD!

Praise the LORD!

Psalm 150

A Story of Love: Our journey to Nati and Mihret {Part 1}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 02:16:00 +0000

Get your tissues ready.

I decided that I didn't want to wait until the kids came home to share our journey with you all. I started this video on the plane on our way to Ethiopia and it is probably the most emotional one I have ever worked on. God has done so much this past year and I wish I could share every detail, but that would take days- so this is my attempt to sum it up.

Yes, I know that our children are not home yet. But did I mention that they are OURS??!! :) AH! God is so good! All we wait on now is their visas, which will take anywhere from 6-12 weeks. We are praying that we will be back to bring them home by the end of January, but whenever God allows it to happen, we are resting in the fact that HE has done miracle after miracle and has made them a part of our family. We are in the home stretch now. This is only part 1, but as you will see- it is a huge part of our journey. Thank you to every single one of you who have been a part of this journey as well. God has used YOU to bless our family in more ways than any of us will ever know. We have told Nati and Mihret about so many of you who have prayed for them for so long. Very soon, you will get to see the evidence of God's faithfulness first hand and I pray that as you are blessed by this story, you would give all the glory to the One who made it all happen.

So sit back and relax, turn up the volume, and get ready to witness one simple testimony of God's unending love and faithfulness...

They are ours!!!! We passed court!!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 13:17:00 +0000

Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!!!!

We are thrilled to announce to the world our newest SON and DAUGHTER:

Nati and Mihret Wagenleitner!

It's been a long long journey and there are still a few more steps to go, but we could not be more excited to share our JOY with all of you- our friends and family!

We are now officially mom and dad to two more beautiful, amazing children and we are just so so blessed!

Easter Sunday 2011- The day we asked Nati and Mihret to be our son and daughter.

The day they said YES! :)

I have so much more I want to say, but of course the internet is not cooperating very well for me to be able to write long posts or upload lots of pictures. There will be more to come, but I just want to say THANK YOU to all who have been praying for our family. We would not be here without you and it is obvious that we needed to be here today! Praise God!

We already have to say goodbye tomorrow and honestly I can't even think about how we are going to do that, except that God will give us the strength. This has been an eye-opening trip for us, as we have had Nati and Mihret staying with us. They are so happy and sweet, but it has been a challenge to try to communicate when we don't have a translator with us. We are definitely learning a lot more amharic than we ever have and we have a renewed sense of urgency to learn a lot more when we get home too!

Love you all! Post more when I get a chance!!!

Here we go again!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 13:21:00 +0000

In just a few hours we will be on our way to Ethiopia for the 3rd time in 14 months! Whooo Hoooo! All frustration and sadness is behind us and we are positively EXCITED to be able to be on our way again! It has been the craziest week EVER but one that we are certain has been in God's plan the entire time.

Lord willing, in a few days if we pass court, I can take the hearts off their faces!!!

Preparing for this trip has been nothing short of amazing. Remember that a week ago we were not planning to come to Ethiopia. We really thought we were safe in assuming that we weren't going to have to come for court. We thought we'd hear confirmation on Monday morning so we'd have at least a week's notice. Tuesday came around, then Wednesday...Thursday... and by Friday morning we were stressing out just a bit. They told us we might hear on Saturday or possibly Tuesday(as in today!) if they ever talked with the judge, since he hadn't yet. Well, a decision had to be made and so Friday morning we just went for it, booked flights and made sure that they were refundable! This was the beginning of a very full weekend. I don't know anyone who has decided to go to Africa, booked flights, and then got on a plane 4 days later- it is insane! But the amazing part is that once we said yes, God has shown us over and over that HE is in control and that HE blesses His people!

There have been so many "God moments" this past year, that I have a hard time keeping up with all He is doing. (good thing I have the blog huh?! :) I know I have said this over and over, but it is incredible to be a part of the miracles He is doing and I just have to share or I'll burst!

I woke up on Sunday morning to yet another email from the staff lady in Ethiopia. It said that since we were now traveling to Ethiopia, we needed to bring a few notarized documents as well as the $ for N and M's visas which is $404 x 2 = $808! Seriously? We had signed a contract back in March that stated this $ was to be paid to the embassy on our last trip- not the court trip- and that they would notify us of any changes. So, does one business day count as enough notice to come up with another $800 cash?! Yikes. She also told us that there would be some documents for us to sign when we got there. Soooo, tell me this: if we hadn't traveled HOW was all this going to get to Ethiopia by the end of this week??? I asked her that and her reply was that they would have let us know eventually and we could have sent it to our U.S. agency who then would have sent it to their office in Ethiopia. OK. So obviously nothing is urgent when it comes to this adoption... this next step is something that could only take 4 or 5 weeks but I think they quote families double that because they are not in any hurry! So, needless to say we feel that if we would have stayed and not hand delivered all of this to the staff, we would probably be looking at another several weeks of delay. Now I know that a few weeks may not seem like a big deal to you, but when you have waited as long as we have, this mama does not want to be a part of any more delays- whether it be days weeks or months!

So, all morning we were a little worried trying to figure out how in the world we were going to come up with even more money for those visas and I just kept praying that God would provide and give us peace about the situation. And oh my how faithful He is! That afternoon a friend who I really don't know super well called me and said that God had put our family on her and her husband's hearts and they wanted to know how they could help us. I mentioned to her about the email that had come that morning and that we were still needing to figure out how to take care of it by the next day. She immediately said that they wanted to cover it. I was like NO- that is waaaay too much $$ and you can't do that. She insisted that it was exactly what they wanted to do and asked me to let them do this. She said that adoption is something that is close to their hearts, but they are not in a place to do that right now, so they wanted to bless us instead! WOW! Talk about speechless, humbled, amazed by God! I just cried and praised God for HIS faithfulness.

This is just one story of the dozens and dozens we have of God's amazing provision each step of the way. This weekend I put a last minute shout out on facebook that we were taking some clothes for the kids at the orphanage, and within a few hours I had enough to fill 2 huge suitcases! WOW! Another friend was scheduled for family pictures this weekend along with several others and I had to cancel on them. It was hard to say no, because not only do I love to do it, but I also knew that all the $ that I make for pictures for a purpose goes directly to our adoption expenses and not only did we have this trip to pay for but now we will go again for the 4th and final trip hopefully in only a month or two. So I was shocked when I went to get the mail yesterday and found a check from this family that was incredibly generous. A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. I mean, who are we that we get to experience this blessing over and over?! It is so very humbling and incredible and I give all the GLORY and PRAISE to our LORD!!! He delights in blessing His children and we have seen that so many times. We are so thankful and grateful.

To those of you who have been praying for our family... it is because of you that we are here on this journey today. We do not forget how many obstacles and trials we have already overcome, but it is only because of the faithful prayers of the saints that God has given us the victory. YOU are N and M's family too! My heart is just going to explode with gratefulness to God and is people right now. We love you all so much.

Ok, so the next time I post we will be in Ethiopia! Hoping for better internet than last time, but it is never certain so we will just go with the flow! :) We have a very special surprise for N and M when we get there and I can't wait to tell you what it is. But sorry- you can't find out until they do! :) We will only be in country for 3 days, but we know they will be blessed, amazing days and we are just thrilled that we get to go again!!!

Love you all!!! Keep praying!

But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 15:57

Switching gears: Ethiopia Bound in 3 days

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 12:52:00 +0000

I want to clarify something that may have not been clear in my previous posts. That we are NOT in any way upset that we get to visit the kids. I hope that I have been able to adequately express how deeply we love N and M and how much we have missed them all these months and long to be with them again. If you have read this blog for more than a day, it should be clear! :) It's not that we are throwing a fit because we "have to" go. In fact, we are thrilled that God would allow us to see them and be with them once again before joining our family forever.

The frustration and sadness and even anger have really been more because we feel that our agency has not been honest or faithful to us during this whole ordeal. Last year I researched and found many many reviews that said that this is one of the best agencies for older-child Ethiopian adoptions and of course they were one of the only ones that would even consider working with us. So when we sign contracts and pay many thousands of dollars for services, we expect that we can trust them to do their part and to shoot straight with us. If someone makes a mistake and drops the ball or promises something that cannot actually happen, then just be honest with us and admit it, apologize and move on. For the past year we have had many communication problems with this agency and while it has been frustrating and taken many calls and emails- most of which were never answered, we have eventually found out the information that we needed. But this has been different. This is way beyond someone not returning my call or email. And right now, there is nothing we can do.

The last thing that happened was that I talked to one of the guys in Ethiopia yesterday who was supposed to go to the judge Friday morning with all of our stuff and see what she said. Turns out that the judge wasn't there all day, so he didn't get a chance to see her. Bummer. Well, instead of just saying that we needed to go ahead and come to court, he tells me not to worry because he would talk to her tomorrow. I asked him: tomorrow? Isn't that Saturday? Does she work on weekends? He said No, but I know her and I can contact her. I'm thinking, if you know her so well, couldn't you have contacted her one of these past 5 days?! So the staff in Ethiopia is telling me that we don't need to worry about coming for court because he will just figure it out. Then I hear from Fekadu that he talked to this guy too and he told him that he was going to go meet with the judge about our case next Tuesday! Um, Tuesday is just a little too late for us! This same guy tells me that it's ok if we need to re-schedule. Yeah right buddy- do you know how long we have waited to finally get to this step??? There is no way that we are going to purposely prolong the process because it's not convenient for us to travel right now!

So, we were told (once again) that we would "hopefully" hear news today, which is Saturday. The U.S. staff from our agency recommended that we go ahead and book our flights. So after being back and forth on the phone and through email about all of this yesterday, Randy called our travel agent and asked him to work his magic, which he did! He was able to get us decent flights and a decent price (it still would have been cheaper if we had been able to book them on Monday, but oh well) and he told us that we have until 3PM on Monday to cancel for a full refund minus the travel agent fees. So we are not holding our breath, but there could be still a chance that we don't go. Although at this point we are 95% sure that we are going. Talk about a little stressful!

So, our plans for this weekend have changed just a little. I had 5 portrait sessions scheduled, we were going to get our Christmas tree and maybe do a few Christmas things like baking cookies and watching cheesy movies. Next week was a very busy week full of appointments and activities. Instead I have now canceled all appointments (so sorry again you guys!) we are waiting until we get back to get the tree, and we will be busy getting things together so we can leave Tuesday morning. You can bet that we will be at Target no less than 3 times before then, as it seems we have always forgotten something and I think I hear a Peppermint Mocha calling my name- so I don't think it will be all that bad! :) Randy is still going to put the lights up today, we have a dinner party for his office and the kids will be going to the Christmas parade tonight with my mom, so not all plans have been canceled!

We have officially switched gears and are just thrilled to be able to bond with N and M yet again. I have got to say that there is absolutely NO WAY we could be doing this if it weren't for our awesome, amazing family and friends. Not only have you prayed, but you have stepped up and gave $, offered to help with kids or whatever and 1 sweet friend has even offered to bring dinner Monday night before we leave- you have no idea how much that means! And a huge shout out to my in-laws Tim and Darla who not only have dropped everything to be able to watch our 4 kids while we are gone, but also saved the day by generously giving towards the plane tickets. We are so thankful and blessed beyond measure.

We leave in only 3 days! SO much to do before then. I'll keep you posted of any updates if I can! :)

FB status update.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 20:13:00 +0000

No time to post a formal update right now, but I know some of you have been watching and praying and waiting. So here's my status update from about 5 minutes ago:

Tickets booked. We leave on Tuesday 10AM. The judge wasn't there, so we must go. Thrilled to see N and M even if it's only for a day, but at a loss to know how to even process this. We were going to go get our Christmas tree after school today. Instead I have been on the phone and emailing all morning. No school has been done. Elliana peed all over her bed. Kids are fending for themselves. Help! Lord, we give all of this to you. You must have some plan and we praise you for giving us the opportunity to use us. We praise you even in this storm...

God is good even in this. I'll post more when I get a chance.

Frustrated... PLEASE PRAY!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 00:12:00 +0000

Yeah, that's just one word that describes how I am feeling today. If you've been following some of my posts on facebook, then you already know some of the drama that has been going on. If not, well, let me fill ya in a little bit.

On Tuesday when I updated about being patient, I had no idea what the next few days would hold. This whole process has been long and hard and unlike anything we have ever been through, but this week has been an entirely different trial. We *thought* that the problem was that our agency's staff in Ethiopia was just not communicating with the staff in the U.S. We kept waiting and expecting to hear one of two things: 1) The judge approved our letter of exemption and we passed court. The kids are legally ours and we can hope to travel to bring them home in 6-8 weeks! {obviously this was our first choice} OR 2) The judge denied our letter and says that we have to show up for court on December 9th. We hope for a favorable decision on the 9th and if we pass, then the kids are legally ours and we wait 6-8 weeks from that approval. {our 2nd choice, but one we were prepared to face on Monday morning}

I called and emailed our agency repeatedly Monday and Tuesday, but got nothing. So Wednesday morning, I took it into my own hands. I had heard that one of the legal reps was in the hospital (which explains why he wasn't returning emails or phone calls), so I found the # of the other one and I got up at 5am to give her a call in Ethiopia. She said she knew exactly who I was and that she knew a little about our case. She said she was sorry, but she still hadn't heard from anyone who had actually been in court and so she was going to find out the next day and her words were "I hope to get confirmation from our staff that you do not have to travel. I will let you know tomorrow." So I got off the phone Wednesday morning frustrated again that we still had no official news, and that I can't wait for the U.S. staff to find these things out for me, but somewhat hopeful because she acted like we would for sure have an answer by early Thursday morning. One more day and we would hear that we would either be going or staying.

I hardly slept last night. Tossing and turning and worrying and praying. Checking the time every 10 minutes and figuring out what time it was in Ethiopia.

I got up at 3am, knowing that it was 1pm there and sent a quick email as a reminder that as soon as she found out to please let us know.

I went back to bed for a couple of hours and woke up abruptly. I was thinking: This is it. This is the day that God is going to answer this prayer and show us how great and wonderful and big He is. This is the day He is going to blow us away and we are going to shout to the world that 2 children are no longer orphans! I really expected to open my email and have this confirmed. I so wanted it to be true.

But instead of hearing this, I opened something completely unexpected. It was an email from the same gal in Ethiopia that I had talked to the day before and it read: I am sorry to say that the news is not promising, as we do not have any record in our office of having received your letter for the court, or the photos and passport copies that are required if you do not attend. I am so sorry about this and will be checking with Susan. As well the judge has not been taking too well to families coming on a different date or not coming at all, so I think you may have to make plans to be here next Friday.

My immediate reaction was a loud WHAT??!! What in the world was she talking about? No record of anything? Not only did we send everything the day after we heard about our court date, and were assured that it would be received in plenty of time, but we had also left it all with the legal rep (who was now in the hospital) way back when we were there in April. Not to mention that I had JUST talked to this same gal yesterday about our case! We have been told for two weeks that someone was going to take all of those documents to court and represent us. All of a sudden everything was "lost" and they had never even seen it?! Oh. my. goodness.

After many emails and phone calls back and forth today, (believe me, it wasn't pretty) we think we might have figured out what happened. It seems that because the one legal rep that we left all of our paperwork with is gone to the hospital, no one actually took his place and took over our case. Which means that no one actually showed up in court for us. Or if they did, they certainly did not present our letter, pictures, etc for the judge.
>insert MAD FACE here. !!!!

Seriously, as the day unfolded and we were being told that we should plan to be in Ethiopia next week because they "think" we should- I just wanted to scream. We don't want to hear what they think we should do, we want to hear that someone saw the judge and we want to know what she said! Why in the world is it so hard to confirm that SOMEONE was there and that they heard what the judge ruled?! Oh, maybe because no one was? After this, I told our agency point blank that we wish we could trust them but that they have shown us that we simply cannot.

These are CHILDREN we are talking about here! God's heart beats and breaks for the least of these: the poor, the widow, the ORPHAN. Don't mess around with the LORD Almighty! It is clear that God must have an amazing plan for N and M's lives as we have been faced with attack after attack these past 14 months. Satan hates to see orphans gain families, but God WILL prevail and He WILL have the victory! HE places the lonely in families!

We have one last glimmer of hope before we have to make our travel plans tomorrow. Someone is going to go to the court without an appointment and present our case to the judge tomorrow morning in Ethiopia. It sounds like this will be the first time she will read our letter. We are praying that by some MIRACLE, the judge says that we do not have to be there on Friday morning. That she would surprise everyone and make an exception because we have proven our love and commitment to N and M and spent a significant amount of time with them.

If she says no, we will have to make plans to leave just four days later. Ugh. My stomach is in knots just thinking about it.

If you are reading this right now: PLEASE PRAY!!!! This is an impossible situation and our agency is positive that we are going to have to go. We would love to see God show up and prove them wrong!

But even if the answer is no, we must cling to His promises that He has not left us or forsaken us. That He will work all things (even the hard, crazy things) together for the good of those who love Him...

I cannot even pretend to imagine why the heck this would be a part of His plan, but maybe someday we will look back and see. Or maybe not. We will just know that He meant it to happen for His purpose and for His glory.

Join us tonight in coming before the throne for these two precious children. And as my sweet friend Heather always reminds me... even though it's so hard and the wait seems unbearable- we will continue to trust Him while we wait.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

Trying to be patient... and an update on our patient!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 14:43:00 +0000

Ok, so I apologize to those who were watching the blog yesterday waiting for an update! I updated FB and kind of forgot to let everyone else know what was going on. Sorry!

The news about court is that we *think* our case passed because I was able to talk with our friend Fekadu afterwards and he said that the family part is completed. This is an awesome thing and we were excited to hear that. BUT, he wasn't actually there in court, so we don't know if the judge approved our family to be N and M's parents. We are so wanting to celebrate, but are very very cautious. Our agency was clueless and had not received an email from Ethiopia. Which means they really had no official news to tell me. Which makes me pretty nervous. Soooo once again we are sitting here WAITING. Waiting to hear if we passed court and can tell the world about our son and daughter, OR waiting to hear if the judge said no and therefore have to book tickets to leave for Ethiopia in A WEEK!

*I may or may not be a little anxious here. Oh my.

In other news, we got up bright and early (not that I really even slept!) yesterday morning to take Elliana in for her surgery. We literally picked her up our of bed and put her in the car half asleep. A few minutes later, this is how she looked- she was happy to be on a special trip with just mommy and daddy:

We got to the ENT surgery center and after filling out paperwork they called us back to Elliana's special bed. At first she was pretty happy and quite funny. She was chatting with the nurses and wanting to sing. We just told her the dr was going to take her to go night night in the other room and then we would see her soon. This is when she started getting a little nervous. They gave her toys and color crayons, but she mostly just wanted to be close to me and Randy.

She got all dressed and ready to go, picked out bubble gum anesthesia to breathe in and then the nurse whisked her away.

We only waited about 20 minutes before the dr came out and told us the surgery was over- super fast! He said that her adenoids were huge and blocking her airways almost completely. He said she will be like a new kid when she's all healed up and can actually breathe! We had to wait a little longer before we could go in and see her, and when we did she had just started to wake up. Oh my- was she MAD! She screamed and thrashed and was just a mess for awhile, so Randy and I took turns holding her. She was in some pain, but mostly just out of sorts because of the anesthesia and she would yell at the nurse every time she came back in to check on her. She was not happy anymore!

After about an hour, we were on our way home. She was so relieved to get out of that place!

She was a screaming mess for a little while, but once we were home for a decent amount of time she was ready to go night night in her own bed. She slept for 3 hours! Amazingly, she woke up feeling so much better and downed two Jello cups in a matter of minutes! Um yeah- I think we are getting our girl back!

For the rest of the afternoon/evening she got progressively more happy and actually started getting crazy wild and hyper. I mean so wild that she was downright naughty- even grabbing a salad plate off the counter and throwing it on the floor to watch it shatter! It's like she's drunk on all the oxygen she's now getting! :)
I can only expect that she will continue to do well and once she's all healed up she might have even more energy- uh oh!

Thanks so much for praying for our sweet girl and for our continued adoption drama. It is so hard to be patient! I know that God is in control and He hears us when we cry out to Him. He will not forsake us! I hope to have good news today, but who knows?!

Those who know your name trust in you,
for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.
Psalm 9:10

Tomorrow is the big day!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 16:01:00 +0000

We are asking all of our family and friends to join us in praying today!There are two big things happening for our family Monday morning...

The first is of course our court date in Ethiopia! While we are sleeping tonight (well, you will be sleeping- I probably won't be able to!) they will have family court in Ethiopia. We are asking for God to grant us favor with the judge and that she will accept our letter of exemption so that N and M can officially become our children. We are also praying for ALL of the necessary paperwork to be there too, as we have heard of many cases where 1 document was missing so they had to assign another court date. We are ready for this step to be completed and so please pray with us for God to do a miracle- that we would wake up tomorrow morning with the news that we passed court!!! My friend Erin has a court date this Thursday for their son who we met on our last trip and they are asking for the same miracle. Pray for them too!

The other news is that our little Elliana is having a small surgery tomorrow morning to have her adenoids removed. I know that compared to most surgeries, this is so minimal. The whole procedure is like 20 minutes long. But, as her mama I still hate to see my baby put under anesthesia and in pain for any amount of time! She is too young to understand or even try to explain what is going to happen, so I have a feeling she might get a little freaked out when she goes in. Although no surgery is pleasant, I am actually looking forward to her having this and hoping that once she is recovered she will be feeling so much better! Poor girl has had so many problems that we didn't even know were related and she has been dealing with it all for quite some time now. The doctor says that once she is able to breathe, she will be so much happier and hopefully a lot less sick, no more drooling or gagging or snoring! Yes!

So if you are reading this, will you please say a prayer right now for our family? You are a part of our story and I want you to experience the blessing of seeing God answer prayers in crazy ways- cause that is what we are expecting Him to do!

I will update tomorrow as soon as I am able, but it might be hard depending on how Elliana is doing. If we are friends on FB, you will most likely hear from me there first. :)

Have a great Sunday everyone!

Court Date in... 2 WEEKS!!!!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 00:40:00 +0000

Yep, you read that right- TODAY was our day to get some news!

We got the news today that a court date has been scheduled for November 28th... only 2 weeks from today!!! Praise the Lord- this is the best news we've received in awhile and the long awaited next step in our adoption process!!!

Ok, so before all the questions start, let me try to explain a little bit of our situation...

When we went back to Ethiopia in April, we went to not only spend time with N and M, but to ask them if they wanted to be a part of our family. That day was one of the best days of our lives, one we will never forget. I wrote about that very special Easter Sunday here.

When we left Ethiopia and had to experience the extremely painful reality of saying goodbye to the children for an unknown amount of time, we knew that there was no way we were going to be able to say goodbye AGAIN. This was the 2nd time we were leaving them and this time it was different than the first- this time we were their FAMILY. We had embraced N and M and squeezed them until the very last second we could and we looked them in the eyes and with tears promised them that we would be back. And that next time there would be no goodbyes. That next time it would be forever. And since that moment almost 7 months ago, they have been waiting and wondering when that next time is.

*Side note: {The way that the adoption process works for Ethiopia is much different than our process was for Korea. One of the big differences is that adoptive families are required to travel to Ethiopia twice in the adoption process. The first trip is for court and it is the trip that almost all families meet their children on. They have received a referral months before and it is on this trip that they are finally able to love in their little one and have a few days to interact with them before returning home. The 2nd trip is about 8 weeks later, after the U.S. embassy has issued a visa for the child and they are officially ready to travel home to be with their adoptive family.}

Ok, so since we are not the "typical" adoptive family we are in a slightly different situation. We have already met our children and spent a significant amount of time with them. We can prove through pictures and visas that we have been to Ethiopia twice already and are fully aware of any conditions that the children we hope to adopt might have. Because of this, we are asking to be exempt from appearing at our court date and hope to return to Ethiopia for the final embassy trip.

Obviously, this is not the norm and there is absolutely no guarantee that we will be granted permission to do this. But with the go-ahead from our agency, we are hopeful that on November 28th- the judge will approve our case AND accept our letter of exemption. The judge has been favorable in the past, but lately she has been much more strict about these cases so we just don't know what will happen.

And here is the real kicker- IF the judge does not accept our letter of exemption, we will have to find a way to BE IN ETHIOPIA for court on December 9th! Yikes! I really really don't want this to be the situation. For the obvious reasons of the pure cost to get there, leaving our kiddos at home, preparing, etc- but the worst part is thinking about going all the way there just to have to say goodbye AGAIN. I feel like the little bit of trust that N and M do have in us will be shattered. Not to mention I don't know if I physically can rip myself away from them for the third time. It is just too painful to think about.

So, instead of thinking about the worst case scenario, let's jump to the best-case scenario! :) I am a planner, so I would love for something like this to work out. Obviously, nothing in this process has worked out like we had planned, so we will just hope and pray and see what God does!

*November 28th- our case goes to court and is APPROVED by the judge and N and M are legally our children!
*6-10 weeks later, we get an embassy date (best case is 6 weeks. Worst case is many many months. but we won't go there)
*Travel back to Ethiopia the 3rd or 4th week of January for embassy appointment and
*Come HOME with two more beautiful children by the end of January!

Eeek! I can't even believe that I am daring to type this. That I'm daring to HOPE that we might be able to bring our children home in 10 weeks.... It is almost too much to hope for after all that we have been through.

Oh dear family and friends who are reading this:
PLEASE PLEASE PRAY! Pray for favor with the judge on November 28th. (Actually, it will be the evening of the 27th our time) Pray that God would continue to do miracles as He has already done over and over. Pray that every piece of paper that is needed will be there and that we would PASS COURT in 2 weeks!

And most importantly, PRAISE God for all He has done already! It is truly amazing to look back and see that His hand has been in this from the very beginning and there is no way we would be here without Him!

Thank you to my sweet friend Michelle who shared this scripture with me today that is so fitting.

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

Not today

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 00:20:00 +0000

For the past week, I have been a little more anxious each time the phone rings and a lot more impatient as I check my email repeatedly throughout the day. We have been expecting to hear news about our adoption for the past several weeks, specifically news about court. Last week I finally talked with our agency about our case and I was told that there have been more changes happening (oh really, what's new?!) and that there is a very real possibility that one change in particular will affect our case significantly.

As I got off the phone with the gal from our agency, I could feel the stress and emotions start to well up inside me.
Again.
I mean, c'mon- have we not been through enough already in the past year? Have we not felt enough pain and frustration and heartache yet? Have we not cried enough over the loss of more and more time with our 2 precious children? Have they not spent enough time in an orphanage without a family to love them?

Apparently not.

Yes, I know that God is sovereign and that His timing is "perfect" but honestly each day that goes by and each hurdle we have to get over makes it just a bit harder to feel what we know to be the truth.

Our agency said that we should hear something either last week or for sure this week. (Which explains my obsession with needing to be checking email constantly.) And each day that comes and goes without any kind of news is hard.

We are praying once again for God to do a miracle in this situation. I am not going to go into detail yet about what exactly is going on, but just know that Randy and I can not find even ONE good thing about it if it happens. We have cried and prayed and wondered why we are in this process at the very time of so much change and uncertainty, but we just don't have an answer. All we know is that we love N and M fiercely and it is that love for them and the God who created them that keeps us fighting and praying that they would finally come home. And when that day comes... oh the rejoicing!!!

I know there are so many of you who have been praying and I can't even put into words how grateful we are for you. Keep praying. This story is not over yet and I know that He will be faithful to complete what He has begun. It is not our story at all. It's God's. And I have a feeling that it's just about to get to the good part! :)

So, in case you were about to ask me the million dollar question: "Any news yet?" My answer is sadly no.

Not today.

But there's always tomorrow....

Today is...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 18:06:00 +0000

the day for Christians around the nation and the world to STAND for the ORPHAN. We are a people called to defend the fatherless... to care for the child that has no family... to visit the orphan in their distress.

Today is Orphan Sunday 2011.

Yes, as believers this should be what we do EVERYDAY. But sadly we are too wrapped up in our own lives to stop and think about what it is that God might be asking us to do for someone else. Specifically someone who has no one else to stand up for them, pray for them and LOVE them.

Today will you stop for even a few minutes to cry out to God on behalf of the orphan? Will you stop and consider what your role is in caring for the orphan? I have said this so many times, but will say it again. Not every one is called to adopt. (although you might be) But every one can care for the orphan. Seriously. EVERY ONE.

There are SO MANY ways you can get involved, but if you just need somewhere to start you can GO HERE. Or you can email me and I'd be happy to pray with you and give you some helpful tips as well. :)

There is going to be an awesome LIVE event happening TONIGHT at 6pm central time (5pm for all my local friends!) I am hoping to be able to sit down as a family and watch it and pray and worship together tonight. Even if you had no idea what Orphan Sunday was before today or just want to be able to pray and hear God's heart for the fatherless... Click HERE to get more details.

Grabbed this picture off the Children's Hopechest facebook page and couldn't resist sharing.

Today is Orphan Sunday, what is missing???

Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow. Isaiah 1:17

Living "on mission" at Halloween

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 06:23:00 +0000

Our family has never really done anything at Halloween. We don't dress up, trick or treat, attend church "alternatives" or pass out candy. We haven't had parties, decorated our yard or browsed the spooky aisles at the stores. Honestly, we have never really seen a reason to. It always seemed like just one more lame reason to spend too much money and participate in a holiday that is focused very much on death and evil. We never judge those who do, in fact just about every single person we know and love participates in some way and we don't have a problem with that, but we have always been content to just turn off the lights and have a family night instead. We never really gave any more thought to it.

Until this year.

This year we did something completely out of the ordinary for our family and it was so much fun and such a blessing that I had to share!

This year we approached Halloween with an entirely new and fresh perspective. Thanks to an amazing church who is constantly encouraging us to be "on mission" and to live intentionally and after reading an article from Desiring God that challenged us even further, we are beginning to see that all of life (including Halloween) is an opportunity to advance the gospel. Randy and I started thinking about ways we could be an intentional blessing to our neighbors and this whole Halloween thing seemed like an opportunity that God was literally bringing right to our door step.

I mean, what other night does your entire neighborhood come to your door??!!

So, instead of hiding out inside our house and let yet another opportunity pass us by, we decided to go out and have some fun and get to know our neighbors a little bit.

First, we got the very best candy in FULL SIZE bars to pass out. We figured if we were going to do this, we were going to go all out so Randy went to Costco and stocked up. (turns out that 160 pieces wasn't even enough, so we'll have to stock up on more next year- yikes!) Then we set up a table outside, decorated it with some pumpkins and put out some "treats" for the moms and dads that would be coming out with their kids. We made caramel apple cider and yummy pumpkin squares- and they were both a hit. We just sat outside in our front yard and would talk to anyone who came by. The kids would immediately see the big candy bars and get really excited and then when we offered some cider or pumpkin squares to them or their parents, they would get even more excited! According to most of the kids who came to our yard, we were the 'best house ever' and even a lot of the parents were surprised that we were out there offering them something hot to drink as they went trick or treating with their kids. Wish I would have thought to take some pictures- it was a lot of fun!

We met many neighbors that we hadn't before and got to see all of the kids dressed up in their fun costumes. It wasn't a huge deal and people didn't really stay for more than a few minutes, but as the night ended (and the candy & cider ran out!) we were so thankful that we made the small effort to be intentional instead of just doing "what we always do." I believe that it's the little things that we do that can show the love of Christ even more than the big things sometimes.

We didn't have a gospel message, pass out tracts, or play Christian music, but we just wanted to be good neighbors. We "let our light shine" in a very small way on a night that in past years, we have just kept hidden in the dark. We pray that the Lord would give us more opportunities to get to know our neighbors and build relationships with them in the future and that we wouldn't be afraid to do things differently. Being "on mission" is not really about an event or a trip, but about living each and every day as "sent ones" of Jesus Christ. Seeing every moment as an opportunity to love others and be the hands and feet of Christ, building relationships, and looking for opportunities to speak the good news of our savior into their lives. I want to live like that.

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 5:16

***Note: Just because this is something that our family decided to do this year, doesn't mean that I am saying that you should be doing this too. Let's show grace to one another please? Again, I don't think it's wrong for Christians to participate in some of the traditions of Halloween, so just let that go right now. I have good memories of many fun Halloweens while I was growing up, so I get how much fun it can be for the kids. I am simply sharing the journey that our family has been on and how God is shaking us awake and really causing us to think and see much differently than we ever have before. :)

15 years ago I became a mother

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 16:10:00 +0000

It wasn’t something I would have planned for my life at the ripe old age of 16, but it was God’s plan. In spite of our sin and selfishness, He entrusted us with a little baby boy who we named Austin William. And our life as a family began.

I had no idea what it meant to be a mother. I had what seemed like a thousand people telling me what they thought being a good mommy meant and like a good student I soaked up every piece of advice and watched others interact with their children. And I just kind of went along with it. For years. After all, I was so young and immature and every one else around me wasn’t. I was just going through the motions and hoping and praying that something turned out right. And I was dying on the inside. We were struggling with Austin and no one seemed to care. We just needed to love him more and learn how to be better parents. It was as if we had to continue proving that we were even supposed to be parents before anyone would listen to the fact that we were really having a hard time with him.

Over the years, I have learned what it means to be a mother. But it hasn’t been from reading the latest parenting book, attending a class, or watching someone else be super-mom.

God has used the past 15 years of ups and downs to show me what being a mom is really about. He has been right here helping me to grow up right alongside my son. Being a good mom is not about making sure my kids look good on the outside and perform for others. It’s not even about making sure they are well fed, dressed, go to church, have good manners and homeschooled. Those things are fine and would even describe my children (most of the time) but if that’s all it’s about, then I have failed.

It’s about making mistakes and asking forgiveness. Being there for my kids no matter what. Advocating for them when no one else will. Being confident that no one knows them better than we do. Loving them even when I don’t feel it and loving them enough to say NO. Not measuring them up to any standard but God’s. Praying for them fervently. Pointing them to their need for Christ always.

I have learned much more from being a mom than my kids will ever learn from me. Now that I am 31 (and so much older and wiser- ha ha) my eyes are being opened to what God requires of me as His child and I am slowly seeing that He is all sufficient and that He is the only one I need to complete this task. I admit that I get overwhelmed and very tired of being a mom. Especially a mom to a child with some special needs. It is exhausting most days and frustrating on the rest. But that is all part of the divine plan. If it were easy, then I would have no need for Christ would I? His grace is sufficient for me and His power made perfect in my weakness. I truly have to depend on the Lord each and every day. And when I don’t… well, you can just imagine how it goes.

October 27, 2011

My dear Austin,

I can’t believe it has been 15 years since that early morning when we first held you in our arms. After a hard pregnancy and days of labor, you had finally arrived and captured everyone’s hearts. I remember looking at your sweet face and wondering what kind of boy and man you would grow up to be. I remember finally getting a chance to be alone with you and daddy. The tears started coming as the reality set in that we were now your parents and we were responsible for this tiny little life that we held in our arms. We were scared, but we knew that the Lord would be with us. When we named you Austin, we weren’t as into the meaning of names as we are now and so we picked it because we liked the name. Now as I look at the meaning of your name I smile. Austin: magnificent; royal; great; helpful. So fitting for you. And of course the name William is passed on from your great-grandpa to your papa to your daddy and then to you. I treasure the picture we have with the 4 generations of “Williams” because it is a reminder of the godly heritage that you come from. A truly “royal” line of men. J

Over the years, we have had many ups and downs and it has not always been easy. I am grateful that God gave us you because He has taught Dad and I so much by being your parents. I am sorry that we have not been the best parents and we make lots of mistakes, but thanks for being a son who loves us in spite of all of that. I love you and want to be the mom that God wants me to be for you and I pray that you will continue to have patience as I figure that out!

You are so big now- towering over your short mom for a few years already- and it is hard to believe that I once held you in my arms while I fed you and sang to you. I want you to know that I have prayed for you to grow up to be a godly man who fears the Lord like your daddy. It is now up to you to make the decision to follow Christ with your life. We still have a couple more years left with you here, but you are now old enough to make a lot more choices on your own without us right by your side. In only one year you will be old enough to drive- yikes! We pray that in every situation you will choose Christ and glorify Him, but we want you to know that even when you fail and mess up- we are here. We love you and nothing you do will ever change that. We follow the example of Jesus, who loved us enough to sacrifice everything for us… He loved us when we were completely sinful, broken, and messed up. How can we claim to know Him and not do the same?

I love you Austin and I pray that this year of your life would be the best yet. Full of growth and change and deeper relationships. I pray that our relationship as your parents would grow stronger, more trusting, and closer together and not further apart. You are and will always be our first born son and we are grateful to God for the gift that you are.

Love,

Mom

A letter to my son on his birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 21:41:00 +0000

Dear N,
Today is your 13th birthday.

I'm sure you don't even realize the significance of it or feel any different today. Birthdays are not something that you are used to celebrating, so today was probably just an ordinary day for you. Getting up and going to school, playing with your friends, doing chores, and eating the same thing as every other day. I am pretty sure you don't even know when your birthday is.

Oh how I had hoped to celebrate with you on this special day. 13 is a big year and it is hard to believe that we have missed out on so much of your life. You are on your way to becoming a man and we are watching you grow up through a few pictures and letters every few months. It is hard to have you and M so far away, especially on days like these.

I want to be able to sing (horribly out of tune!) to you and watch you open presents and make your very favorite food for dinner. I want to see your smile when you come downstairs in the morning to the silly tradition of donuts on the special red plate with a candle on top. I want to take you out on a mom and son date and talk about anything you want or nothing at all. I want to see all of your siblings get excited to make homemade cards and blow up balloons and celebrate the gift that you are. And I want to see your daddy taking you aside to teach you and show you what it looks like to be a man. Because that is what he does with his sons. And you are now one of them. Our son.

N, it breaks my heart to think that we have missed out on 13 years of your life. 13 birthdays have come and gone and we have never been there. But Lord willing, that is about to change. I love you my sweet smiling son. I never would have dreamed that I would be so anxious and excited to have another boy after I had vowed that we would NEVER have any more boys in this house! And yet here I am thrilled to call you my son and can't wait for the day when you and M are a part of our family forever.

Happy 13th Birthday son. I pray that you would feel especially blessed today, that you would be encouraged as you wait and that the Lord would allow us to be re-united soon.

We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.

Colossians 1:9-12

A special guest

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 15:20:00 +0000

Last week we had someone very special stay with us. Our friend and dear brother Fekadu came all the way from Ethiopia to visit the U.S. for the first time and we had the priviledge of hosting him for a week. He entered our home a guest, but left as family. He is not only special to us because he is a brother in Christ, but because he is the director of the orphanage where N and M live. He is like a father to them and all of the other children there. It is so clear to see how much he loves the kids and that he is doing the work that God has called him to do. Our time with him was so good and it was nice to just take a break from everything else in our lives and just focus on hosting him and getting to know each other better. The first thing the boys wanted to show him when he arrived was the trampoline. ha ha! The first morning he was here was a Saturday, so we got everyone up early and dragged them to the soccer games. Nathan's game was first His cheering section Then we took him to our favorite local breakfast place- Batter Up Pancakes. It was super busy, but worth the wait!

These pancakes are huge

Sunday we took him to church and WOW the message was so good and so fitting for what we had just been talking about the night before and it spoke to our friend who is living a life of being Sacrificially Generous. We all left very encouraged and challenged, especially Fekadu. We had our life group over for lunch and he was able to share his story with them and it was just a sweet time of fellowship and hearing about what God is doing in hearts and lives all over the world.

The next day we got up early again and headed to Yosemite. (Everyone except Elliana- she was with grandma) There is nothing like standing right there in the middle of this amazing valley in awe and wonder at our creator.

Fekadu just kept saying WOW the whole day! :) Some of the biggest trees in the world! We came back and had dinner with Randy's family. The next day we were all pretty wiped out, so we hung around home and then took him to see the movie Courageous. Wow- that is SUCH a great movie! We all really enjoyed it! Then came home and had dinner with my family. This is my mom and grandparents Wednesday Randy took him around to see the agriculture and his dad's farm in the country. We then had a delicious Ethiopian dinner at our friend's house. I wish I had pictures, but we took some with his camera and I don't have them. We had such a good time together and I am realizing that every time I eat Ethiopian food I like it more and more. I have got to learn how to make it soon!

Thursday was a VERY long day, but a lot of fun. We got up early and headed to San Francisco for the entire day! We were nervous because it was raining almost the whole 3 hour drive there and it started coming down on us right after we got there. But amazingly, as soon as we finished lunch, the rain stopped and it ended up being a little overcast, but beautiful day! We enjoyed the sights

I thought this was too funny not to share And the most part of our day was spent on this island We had never been to Alcatraz ourselves and since it was something that Fekadu had heard about and really wanted to do, we decided to go for it. And we got the very last tickets!

We got home after midnight and then the next morning it was already time to say goodbye. We had a very full, exhausting, but BLESSED week with Fekadu. The Lord used him to really encourage me in this difficult time and I am thankful for that. The next time we see him we will be back in Ethiopia... and I hope and pray that it's soon! :)

This is where the healing begins.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 23:07:00 +0000

Silent.

That's pretty much how I have been on this blog recently. Same with facebook. (I de-activated my account for a time- for the few that were wondering.) And honestly, it might stay that way for awhile. I don't know.

The truth is that my life is a mess. And I can't pretend that it's not. I can't just post a bunch of happy, smiley pictures up and call it my life- it's not real. Yet, I'm not about to bare my soul to every stranger on the world wide web either.

Which brings me back to just staying silent. Maybe if I just don't say anything to anybody or keep on working at pretending it's all fine... maybe then I will get out of the pit that threatens to bury me.

Or maybe if I built up more walls and worked harder at not letting anyone get close enough to me to know the pain... maybe then I could just go on and not have to face the reality of dealing with the hard stuff.

And you might be sitting there thinking, "so how's that workin out for ya?"

Well, obviously the pain and hard things have not gone away. In fact it gets worse because I am working harder and harder to deal with stuff on my own and have no one that I have let in to my life who will really understand.

God is the only one who can truly heal us. I know that.

I also know that our life on earth is not meant to be lived alone, but rather in community. God wants us to encourage one another and build each other up. To bear each other's burdens. To confess our sins one to another. To speak the truth in LOVE to each other. But how are we to really do that when so many of us are walking around pretending? Or afraid that if we opened up about how we were really doing- that we would be judged or misunderstood or whatever else.

I think it starts with letting the walls that we've worked so hard to build up- finally fall down. I think it starts with letting go of my pride and NO LONGER caring about what everyone else thinks and ONLY care about what God and His word says. I am tired of feeling like I never measure up. Never good enough. Never smart enough or pretty enough or skinny enough. Always trying to get my act together to look good on the outside or be like so and so. It is the story of my life.

Can you relate?

God has much to teach me and while I'm not about to go babbling my deepest darkest secrets on a public blog or FB, it seems that He has given me this place to share a bit of my life with those who choose to stop by here. I want to give hope and encouragement to those who are struggling along with me and not be just another blog filled with rainbows and butterflies and happy endings.

Life. is. messy. And mine is no exception.
So I think I will continue to write here as the Lord leads. I want to Make Him Known through the good times and the hard times and the ugly, messy times. If you would rather click on this page and see only rainbows and roses, then I think you should go ahead and delete me from your reader list. It's not that I don't anticipate the Lord doing great and wonderful things, it's just that I know that in my life... the JOY always seems to come after the SORROW. And why is one more "blog-worthy" than the other?

***I have listened to this song about 30 times in the past few weeks. It hits me right where I am at and I wanted to share in case someone else is struggling too. I am ready for the healing to begin.

Healing Begins
by Tenth Avenue North

So you thought you had to keep this up
All the work that you do
So we think that you're good
And you can't believe it's not enough
All the walls you built up
Are just glass on the outside

So let 'em fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Afraid to let your secrets out
Everything that you hide
Can come crashing through the door now
But too scared to face all your fear
So you hide but you find
That the shame won't disappear

So let it fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now
We're here now, oh

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Sparks will fly as grace collides
With the dark inside of us
So please don't fight
This coming light
Let this blood come cover us
His blood can cover us