Ramblings of a Mad Man (A.K.A Online Poker Thoughts)

Babysitter +1

2012-01-27T07:12:00.000-08:00

I like our Tuesday/Thurday babysitter. She is a funny lady. I always come home and say "You still here?". I sorta think it's like "our thing". Not sure she knows this though.

She was nice enough to figure out how to get wax out of my drain. yeah, yeah, my drain got wax in it, wanna make a big deal about it? See we had this tree fall across all the power lines and the wife was busy fucking her boyfriend so could not come home to her terrified children. So I was running all around the house lighting candles and stuff. It pretty much worked out well except one.

I light up this candle in the bathroom and then go to the living room to get a nice fire going and keep the kids calm. I then return to the bathroom a little latter and the entire candle had melted down. All over. The sink. Down the sink drain. Everywhere.

I was stuck with a clogged drain. I tried Draino. Extra strength even. No luck. I got it to drain slowly but it was still obviously clogged. I come home the other night and the babysitter is all like *GRIN* "I fixed the sink".

I could not for the life of me figure out how? Anyone have any guesses? ...

.. she poured hot water from a tea kettle into the sink. Brilliant! Peace.

Josie In Wow

2012-01-25T10:56:00.000-08:00

This is my little Josie character in WoW. I just got her a nice helmet so she can see when her secretary buries her in her XXXL boobs. XD.

Josie, My Hero

2012-01-25T06:17:00.000-08:00

Excerpts of my chat with Josie. I go downstairs to work on some QA issues and this one new girl gets really close to me and starts up a conversation. A few minutes later another girl comes by and tells the first girl she has the most beautiful green eyes and then she starts talking to me too. Uncharacteristically I decide to be social and we have a good conversation.

So I go upstairs and IM Josie:

Waffles: So if a chick stands close to me is that a good sign?
Josie: hmmm was it in a crowded elevator?
Waffles: no
Josie: no, in personal space is a very good sign.
Josie: Yes, that is a good sign.
Waffles: If she starts talking to me is that a good sign?
Josie: Yes, very good signs.
Waffles: then both start talking to me
Waffles: it was like an orgy or something
Josie: did you talk to them?
Waffles: yeah

So this morning I am like:

Waffles: If a girl feeds you cashews is that a good sign?
Josie: OMFG!!!

Are You Fucking Kidding Me?

2012-01-24T09:00:00.000-08:00

Are we really looking at the possibility of Newt Gingrich as president? I mean if someone came up to me and said "Hey this is going to be the president" a few years ago I would laugh my ass off at them. I would think Pamela Anderson would have a better shot. Have we really devolved to this level? Say it's not so! Peace.

Holy Fuck..

2012-01-22T15:32:00.001-08:00

What a game. Missed catch. Shanked field goal. Patriots going to the Super Bowl! BOOOOOM! YAH!

Been doing a little...

2012-01-20T11:28:00.001-08:00

Taking little steps. I think my best way to accomplish things is to break them down into tiny steps and do at least one a day. I have not compiled my list yet though. I want to get on it this weekend. I have however setup my new PC, gotten things comfy, started some stuff to do stuff and stuff. You know. Stuff.

Today I moved my alarm clock back into my room and set it up. I am setting it for 5AM. Every day. M-S. Trying to stabilize my sleeping patterns a little more. Also ate breakfast which I never do. I kinda like having the extra time in the morning.

Got so many things to do.. but instead of getting overwhelmed I just need to write them all down and stick to my one-a-day plan. Feeling semi-motivated and in a decent head space. Peace.

Tony Has Given Me An Idea

2012-01-19T13:27:00.000-08:00

Tony's blog is always interesting to read. I really hope the guy gets some help. He really reminds me of myself at times.

Anyhow I have been reading his posts and his most recent one gave me an idea. He sends Josie emails and asks her to do him favors. Now Josie is the NICEST person on the entire planet. I mean she is a regular Mother Teressa. She tells me stories all the time of helping out homeless people. Not only does she help them out but she talks with them and really cares.

I tell her my stories of watching homeless people walk in the middle of the road and not doing anything to help. See how that works?

So since I am evil and Josie is incredibly good and can not stop helping people I have hatched a devious plan. Here it is. I can even TELL Josie what the plan is because she is too nice not to do it.

I need to get some motivation to get back in shape. I was doing really well last year and then November came. I get into a deep, dark, funk every November. So now I am back to way out of shape. I need to change this. I am going to start doing pushups again. The only problem with pushups is it gets tiring for me to keep feeling my own chest. I mean it was getting really tight and sexy but feeling yourself up is akin to masturbation: kinda like the real thing, but not quite as good.

So Josie baby I need your help! You must commit to feeling my chest all over once a month and telling me if it has improved. You must do a thorough investigation and tell me the truth. Thus I shall be motivated to continue getting healthy and will possibly avoid my scheduled 50yr old heart attack.

What do you say Josie? Can you help someone who is down on their luck? Can you provide some much needed help so that I can get back into shape? I need your help!! I am desperate and stuff. So what do you say woman? Can you help a poor, helpless, man with his health, his esteem, nay even his very life!!! How can you refuse? Peace.

Amazon

2012-01-19T13:22:00.000-08:00

I may have to enter the 19th century or something. I think I am the only person on the planet without a cell-phone and who has NEVER ordered from Amazon.

I am getting a little dis-enfranchised with Barns and Nobel though. I have been trying to get a specific book for the past two weeks. I do not really want to tell them to order it. I just kinda keep slinking in and trying to find it. Until it comes I have gone back to the Felix and Gortek universe with the following two books which are very good. I would however like to continue the Horus Heresy series.

I see a large Amazon order in my near future.

Blaaarggghh!

2012-01-19T08:22:00.000-08:00

Goddamit I knew changing all my passwords would be a bad idea. Now I have like 15 passwords that are all different and all 16 characters and a number. The good thing is I used mnemonic type things like "ScottishPeopleFuckSheeps4Real". So it would be easy to remember stuff. However cramming 16 new passwords into my addled old brain is not working well.. ah well, maybe in a few days I will be able to get it down. Until then no chatting with Josie at work. Boo. Peace.

First Post

2012-01-14T06:39:00.000-08:00

I am posting on my new PC... BWAHAHAHA! Only stayed up till 2AM setting it up. Still not done. Love doing this. Missed it. Peace.

*** Update: Here are the Windows Experience scores. As expected the Graphics is the weak point right now. Not bad though. Plays Warcraft like a ballah at least.

I Done Did It

2012-01-12T19:42:00.000-08:00

I bought the PC tonight. Spent 30 bucks out of my main checking and the rest was poker winnings and a gift card for Xmas. As usual Best Buy was a fucking pain in my ass. I had to wait for like over an hour. My stomache hurts now. Hate those motherfuckers. The guys selling the computers were fine but they did not have enough people so hence the waiting. I also love how people wander in and jump you in line. I almost kicked some little kids ass. Peace.

Appreciated

2012-01-12T14:02:00.000-08:00

I appreciate all the advice even though it sent me into an OCD tailspin trying to figure out what I want to do. I knew this was going to happen so I have no one to blame except myself.

I checked out Ken's barebones and it is slower than what I have now. The Gateway is at least a 3.3ghz. The Intel onboard Graphics card is slightly better and the ram and HD space is a lot better. Once I put in a monitor which my package comes with then the price is not so far apart.

At least he gave me a company that was still in business unlike PokerDave. XD.

Honestly I appreciate the help and I am going to waste some money on the Gateway DX4860-UB32P with 20" Monitor package from Best Buy. Total cost is $549+tax. It fits in my budget really well and I think it will work out. I will probably slap in a better graphics card and maybe a PSU in a month or so if I need to. It is better than what I have now though and I can play the few games I own. Albeit I would like to get back into gaming. Peace.

Obsticals

2012-01-11T10:10:00.000-08:00

I am so enmeshed in struggle instead of effort that it is ridiculous. I put obstacles in my way and get stuck up on them and use them as excuses.

For instance I have wanted to get a PC for a few years now. I really want to build a kick ass game machine. I sort of do not want to spend the money though because I have no idea where the finances are at this point, so I need to take over the finances first, except I need a the computer to take them over so I can use quicken and spreadsheets and plan things more efficiently..

See where this is going? So I decided to break down this one barrier. I am just going to get any old suck ass computer for now and once I have the financial picture clarified I can get another computer that is better. I am going to get one of the following two computers in the next few days.

Gateway DX4860-UB32P Desktop & 20" LED Monitor Package - $549
HP Pavilion p7-1174 Desktop & 20" LED Monitor Package - $679.

The HP has 8gb ram, while the Gateway has 6gb. Both have 1TB HD, Windows 7 64-Bit.

The HP is a AMD quad-core A8-3800, and the Gateway is an i3.

Both have onboard graphics cards which are semi-sucky. Not horrible but not great. The Gateway is Intel® HD Graphics 2000, and HP has AMD Radeon HD 6550D graphics.

I thought there was actually a DELL I was looking at with a better card. Now I am sorta leaning towards the HP possibly. Not sure. I am so not a hardware guy.

Anyway the bottom line. Not what I want. However I can buy either one from the poker winnings I had last time I played, a gift card I got for Christmas and just a couple bucks out of my main account. So I am going to stop fucking around and do it. If you have any preference on the setup or any experience with either type of desktop let me know. Peace.

Football Pool

2012-01-10T07:35:00.000-08:00

I am enjoying being in Josie's pool. I am not sure how we are going to do. I do not follow these too much. On the bad side we are in 28th place out of like 150 people. We have 103 points and first place is 159 points. I may have made a slight mistake in not playing more people in the first round. I had New Orleans TE and QB, Lions WR, Giants RB, Steelers kicker and Defense, and Texans RB.

You get 4 WR, 4 RB, 2 QB, kicker, D, Coach, 2 TE. My New Orleans and Lions matchup gave me a ton of points as well as the Texans. The Giant's and Steelers not so much. On the good side a kicker and defense are usually not your big score positions. I sacrificed the wide receiver position because Megatron was just too valuable to give up.

Coming into this weekend we have Rodgers, Brees, Bradshaw, Foster, Gore, Nelson, Welker, Gronkowski, Graham, Crosby, and McCarthy as Coach. Preferable outcomes are interesting.

Obviously we need Green Bay and the Patiots to win, also New Orleans give us the best team moving forward. The Ravens vs Texans game we are going to lose a good running back no matter what but hopefully we get some points.

I guess we are in good shape to make a run.. I am just a little nervous at making up 56 points vs the one spot.. especially since he has his two QB's still. One is Eli Manning and the other is Brees... So I guess we hope for a Giant's loss with 300 Eli Manning Interceptions! BOOM!. Oh wait, no, he has Green Bay Defense! I guess we will have to wait and see what happens this weekend.

Wish us luck as first place in this thing is $2500 buckarooos! Peace.

Ramblings

2012-01-09T09:19:00.000-08:00

I was proud of the kid the other day. He had a good Basketball game. He even has a play named after him. The point yells out DSJMAN and they start the play. He swoops down from the left side under the basket and over to downtown area, gets a bounce pass, takes his shot. He was 1 for 2 on his play. Awesome shooting. A fucking play named after him. *BEAM*

I need to be around to see these things. They make me happy. Dying at 50 of a heart attack is not the way to go. I also should note that I am glad that my compadre creepy old Josie guy Lightbulb is still around.

Speaking of Basketball the backboard experiment is partial EPiC fail and partial huge success. Not sure which. This weekend I go to put up the backboard. It is freaking cold. I put stuff together and then I have the awesome task of trying to put the board up all by myself. It is some cheap plastic-composite thing his grandma got. It was already cracked on the corner when I got it.. and dropping it off the ladder while trying to balance it and trying not to break my fingers off was really bad. I cracked the top part of the board a bit.

I decided that I would be fucked by a giant donkey before I stopped doing this project though. So I strained and pushed and swore and cut my hands to shit and finally got it up on the bottom two elevator poles. I laid it down on the ladder and went to attach the top two poles and found out I am missing 3 parts. OMG! So I failed at the task, broke the board, but actually I followed through and did what I said I was going to do. So my OCD says it is a total fail and that crack is still bothering me... but I am going to look at it as a win and call the company to get the final few pieces.

Tony my man. Stop blaming everything and everyone else for your problems. Also what the hell is this Autism thing? I thought Autism was kids who rocked back and forth and sometimes could like play Mozart on their toy piano. I might be getting it wrong but reading your blog sounds more like Bi-Polar, OCD, ADHD, something like that. I swear but for the grace of [god/the universe/luck/whateva] I could be Tony. I can so relate to his mindset. I refuse to keep being Tony. Time for some changes in attitude.

Josie the collector of creepy old men roped me and JMan into her pool. She had us work with her to do the picks. I was amazed at how many players JMan knows and changed some of my picks based on his advice. We did good this weekend with Drew Brees, Megatron, and a few other picks. We lost Megatron obviously but this was a chess move. Sacrificing your pawn to get the check mate. He did incredible. We also lost the Steelers D and Kicker. We got a few points there and should be fine going forward without them. Defenses are hit or miss for large points and with Green Bay, Patriots, and New Orleans as a few of the remaining teams I am not sure Defenses are going to play well. I am happy about our position going into next week.

Josie baby you look fabulous today. How do I know? You look great every day baby. Peace.

New Year Mechanical Fail

2012-01-03T08:01:00.001-08:00

The same sphere of the brain that makes some mechanically inclined also makes them awesome programmers. I learned this from a super hot chick who helped me out with a ride in her jeep when my car ran out of gas. Some days I wish I had taken after my dad a little more and had an iota of mechanical skill. My dad was a ballah. He could take an engine apart and put it back together without breaking a sweat.

We bought my son a basketball hoop with the accompanying accoutrements for Christmas. It sat in the box until this weekend. I finally mustered up enough motivation and feel good to tackle the project. I was ready to quit about five minutes later. It was about 40 degrees out. My hands were hurting. The stupid post thing was not working right.

I dug into some seldom used reserve of determination and did not throw the thing in the garbage. I tightened. I attached. I found a socket set! I learned that sockets do not work very well on 10 inch bolts. I used a wrench. I used a socket. I banged my freaken head on the damn metal. Stupid kid thought it was hilarious too. I got through steps one and two though. There are only three steps. The kid is extremely pleased at my progress.

It is now 30 degrees out so the hoop will not be finished tonight but maybe by this weekend. Peace.

Final Score

2012-01-02T06:02:00.001-08:00

The year of spanking Josie in football is over. The final scores are --

Waffles 1043
Jman 1031
Seb 1027
Josie 1020
Bayne 1006
Sarah 775
Mom 819

I actually did well in the final game but still lost ground to the winner Seb. I have to wonder where I would be if he played the first 5 weeks.

Seb 112
Josie 110
Bayne 110
Waffles 107
Jman 104
Sarah 54
Mom 98

As you can see the final game was pretty tight between the players. Josie ended up beating me for the final game but it was NOT enough to give her the season. I am the champion of the world my friends. Peace.

Wow Nice Job

2012-01-01T17:04:00.001-08:00

Everyone did so well this week in the football pool. It is so fricken close. I can not beat Seb this week which sucks. My best outcome is the Cowboys winning. If that happens then we finish the season asL

Seb 107
Waffles/Josie 106
Bayne - 104
JMan 103

I need to go check if Bayne put picks in also... if the Giants win then I lose to Josie by a point but I remain season champion over her and JMan both. So tonight is for the last week's braggin rights. Peace.

** checked, Bayne did very well also.

You Know I Used To Like You?

2011-12-30T07:44:00.000-08:00

I used to be the biggest fan of Comcast. I thought the service was much better than Verizon and I would have never left them. Hell I even have my Email address with them which is a really stupid idea. You always should own a cheap domain name and use that so you can have the freedom to switch anytime you want.

The other day we had a major issue on our street. I am coming home and a HUGE pine tree fell down across the road and took out the power lines. The tree was at the house next door to me and the top of the tree was right in my driveway. I get into my driveway and then notice the tree has caught fire.

I hurry into the house. My son thinks it is cool that a tree fell and my daughter is flipping out. I grab the phone and call the cops and get the fire department down here. They are outside fixing things when you hear a metallic twang and everyone covers their heads. Luckily nobody was hurt. The fire went out and then the entire blocks electricity followed. It was up the next day.

At this point I would go into the conversation I had with my whore wife which went something like "Hey, the lights are out, the kids are freaking out a little", to which she replied "Ok, I will be home in the morning after I am done fucking my boyfriend". However this is a rant about Comcast.

The next morning the Verizon line my wife has is out and so I call up. The sales lady hard sells me into switching everything over to Verizon but I am hesitant. I love my Comcast and I hear that the service is better. Not sure if this is true but hey I heard it! She puts me on to support and I tell them I have wires hanging down low and someone is going to hit them from the street and it is a dangerous situation. You know what they do? They send someone out the same day to take care of the issue.

It turns out the low hanging wires are Comcasts but some 600ft wire is broken on the pole so they need to send someone else to fix that. I then call Comcast. I get some Mexican guy. I tell him the same story and how dangerous it is. You know what he has the nerve to say? He tells me they will send someone out in TWO DAYS! Two fucking days? Are you fucking kidding me? Are you a fucking moron?

So I tell him he is a fucking cocksucker and if anyone gets hurt on my property that I am going to sue the fuck out of Comcast. I tell him he is a scumbag motherfucker and that I am going to drop his lousy service. He then tells me that if I think it is dangerous I should get my town to fix it. Hello? It's your fucking wires coming into my house from your goddamn street pole! What the fuck are you talking about?!?!? So I tell him to shut the fuck up and I am switching to Verizon because those stupid motherfuckers at Comcast have no desire to service their customers. So fuck you Comcast. You just lost a customer! Fucking turds. Peace.

Inherently Evil

2011-12-28T08:25:00.000-08:00

Scumbag Water Buffalo.

Dr. Chacko wrote a post recently where he talked about a philosophy which he agreed with which said that basically people are good but systems corrupt them and make them evil.

I disagree with this. Every animal is inherently evil and out for itself. The difference between us and a scumbag water buffalo is we attempt to go against our self-preservation instinct and try and live within a society in a good way.

Inherently we are evil but we try and fight against it because we feel this is a good thing to do. Which way do you fall on the argument? Do you think people are inherently good or evil?

Hardcore Pawn

2011-12-28T08:10:00.001-08:00

The show Hardcore Pawn is dangerous to let your children watch. It is a show on TruTV. It is a show about a pawn shop in Detroit's 8-mile.

My son was watching it the other day and my wife is "WHAT! You're watching Hardcore Porn?!?!". He then says "No, Hardcore PAWN, what is Hardcore Porn". My son is a highly intelligent child and has an insatiable thirst for knowledge.

My wife takes the approach of not telling him a word. So what does he do? He Google's "Hardcore Porn". OMG! Know what I spent last night doing? Cleaning Virus's off his notebook. @&*^&*@. See kid's it is possible to get diseases from online skanks. So be careful out there. Peace.

GoodThink

2011-12-27T10:50:00.000-08:00

I am trying to change the way I am. It is kind of scary because I am sort of used to being me. I like myself to some degree. I kind of reached a nice point in early November or Late October. I was actually feeling some kinda thing ... I think it was happiness or maybe just peace.

The technique I am using to change is to stop the negativity and project good thoughts and expect good outcomes. Instead of going to places and expecting the worst I try and project positive thoughts. For instance when I went and played Poker with Josie I would catch myself bemoaning my bad luck.. and just tell myself that I am not unlucky, this is how the game works, and I am an awesome poker player.

It is hard to keep positive though. I will be walking down the street thinking about how I should be nicer to people and some guy will ride his bike like 10 feet away from me and all of the sudden my brain will go "YOU FUCKING IDIOT RIDING ON THE SIDEWALK YOU BETTER NOT COME CLOSER TO ME OR I WILL FUCKING BUST YOUR SKULL INTO THE PAVEMENT YOU FUCKING MONKEY!". Of course I will then say "Doh, I am supposed to be nice right?".

So it is a constant struggle. Right now I am on the downside but feel a bit motivated and am trying to get out of the normal holiday funk. Peace.

She Shoots.. She Loses...

2011-12-27T04:03:00.000-08:00

Joe C took a good shot but she goes down in flames. Waffles is the winner for the week with Seb close behind. Interestingly enough Mom was just one point behind Josie so she was spared the embaressment of losing to Moms... however JMan was one point ahead so pay the boy!! BOOOOM!

Waffles - 110
Seb - 106
JMan - 100
Bayne - 99
Josie - 99
Mom - 98
SGirl - 78

The standings remain close going into the final week. JMan and Seb have done brilliantly and are in shooting distance. Josie was catching up to me with several weeks of wins but the tide has changed this week. She still has a chance though.

Waffles - 936
Jman - 927
Seb - 915
Josie - 910
Bayne - 896
Sarah - 711
Mom - 721

Seeing as Bayne and Seb were given penalties to begin the season they are doing exceptionally well. Seb is keeping track of the scores starting with the week he started. So he is even closer to me in that system. All that matters though is me beating Josie. That has been what this has been about for the entire season so bring it on girl!! Oh and send JMan that thousand bucks you owe him! HHAHAHA! Actually he needs to pay his side of the bet first so do not send it yet. Peace!!

Go Cowboys!

2011-12-24T17:15:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Josie relying on the Cowboys for 12 I have a comfortable lead this week. Jman is tied with Josie but he has a few good picks left.. Seb the Englishman has the lead though... by one fricken point. I can live with that. I have more points open.. so if both of his picks win then I will beat him. Josie will lose by 1 point to JMan if this happens. I do not believe there is any possability for Josie to do anything good in the next two days. XD. Peace.

Interesting

2011-12-22T07:51:00.000-08:00

The wife recently switched positions in her company. She was doing all this tech support and systems type stuff. I had thought she would be doing more of the same. It turns out she got a position doing insurance underwriting. I have no idea how this happened. The people she interviewed with liked her and are training her to do it. Hopefully she will be less unhappy with the better commute and more challenging job. Peace.