TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE!

Let's Take Time for Ourselves!

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 23:07:00 +0000

As this busy holiday season gets under way, it's all too easy to find ourselves getting lost in the shuffle. We rush from one thing to another, never stopping to take a most-needed time out! Before we know it, we're feeling used-up. Like Mr. Grinch, we're ready to say Bah! Humbug! In order to prevent this from happening, we need to act like we did when we were babies and pay close attention to our own internal signals. When we're tired, we absolutely must rest. When we're hungry, we need to stop and eat. When we need comfort, we need to open our mouths and ask for it. Let's make this holiday season one that replenishes our spirits, minds, and bodies.

Intention for Today - Coach!

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 11:18:00 +0000

COACH

The dictionary tells us that to 'coach' is to instruct and supervise. When we get in the practice of being a 'coach' to ourselves, we take on a new attitude. A good coach supports, teaches, oversees, and leads by example. Let's intend to give ourselves these gifts for today. We can be keen observers of our own behaviors, support ourselves in making adjustments when things aren't working just right, and use encouragement rather than self-criticism when we find areas for improvement. When in doubt, let's ask "What would a great coach say about this?"

Intention for Today - Contribute!

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 11:15:00 +0000

CONTRIBUTE

What would the world be like if every day we woke up intending to contribute something of value to the day? When we intend to make a difference by contributing, we look for ways of offering something to the people in our lives and the world around us.

Here are a few ways to get started.

Contribute by . . .

listening to someone who needs to be heard
volunteering at a local soup kitchen
giving hugs
picking up random litter
writing an article
tutoring a struggling student
paying someone's toll
waiting patiently
holding back on judgments
giving compliments freely
encouraging someone else . . .

What else can you add to the list?

Intention for Today - Luxuriate!

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 15:46:00 +0000

To 'luxuriate', the dictionary tells us, is to indulge with unrestrained delight and freedom. When we create the intention of luxuriating in the many delights that surround us, we fill our days with a multitude of blessings. Whether it's an hour with a great book, a walk in the park, a dinner party with friends, cuddle time with our favorite pet, or the soft fragrance of fresh laundry, we can learn to luxuriate in the sights, smells, sounds, and sensations of our wonderful environment. Each day then becomes another opportunity to replenish ourselves.

Intention for Today - Savor!

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 11:06:00 +0000

SAVOR

The dictionary reminds us that to "savor" is to take delight in. Today, let's intend to savor each and every moment. In order to do so, we have to "show up" and pay attention to the people and things around us, our own bodily sensations, our thoughts, the food we eat, the music we listen to, the smells that surround us, and our delightful sense of touch.

Smile - It doesn't cost a thing.

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 12:15:00 +0000

Do you want an easy way to make yourself feel better and brighten someone else's day at the same time? It's easy, affordable, and fun. Just remind yourself to smile as you go through your day. Be aware of the number of people you come into contact with who seem to place a premium price on their own smiles. Is it that they are in a bad mood, or is it just that they are unaware of what their faces are doing? Sometimes we are oblivious to the world around us as we go through our days. We fail to notice the people passing by, and as a result, we forget to make direct eye contact and smile. Try it for a day, a week, a month, a year, and see what happens!

Say No More Often!

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 23:21:00 +0000

Do you always find yourself doing things you'd rather not do, just to be NICE? Are you afraid to disappoint others? If so, it's time to practice saying "No" a bit more often. It's hard at first, but with practice you can become an expert. Start by creating the intention of saying no to requests for your time, help, attention, money, knowledge, skill, etc. a minimum of once per day. When that feels comfortable, add an extra negative response for good measure. You'll begin to notice that the sky does not fall down upon you just because you ended up disappointing someone besides yourself for once. Use the time and energy you gain to indulge yourself. You deserve it!

When you consider your own needs as much as the needs of others, you begin to set clear limits. You find yourself giving of your time/energy because you want to, instead of from a sense of obligation. Ultimately, everyone benefits!

Say No More Often!

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 23:21:00 +0000

Save Money in This Tough Economy!

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 14:24:00 +0000

Money is tight in this touch economy, and we are all looking for ways to stretch our budget dollars. Why not take advantage of great internet savings like these:

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Extra 15% Off all GreatSkin products - enter Coupon Code: HW15

Stress Relief Meets Biofeedback!

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 02:20:00 +0000

In our fast-paced society, we are all searching for ways to reduce stress, relax, meditate, and utilize the law of attraction. However, given our limited amount of time, we want quick and easy results. What could be easier and quicker than using computer technology and biofeedback training to induce empowering states of relaxation and meditation? This amazing technology is available to you through a company called Wild Divine. Check out their products and see for yourself. Just click the link below.

Love is an Action Verb!

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 21:51:00 +0000

I love you! These three words mean so much...some of the time. At other times, they can merely be hollow words with nothing evident in sight to back them up.

What they often mean is "I love you as long as I get that warm fuzzy feeling inside when I'm around you or when I think of you. Just don't ask me to demonstrate my love by asking too much of me."

When we equate love with internal feelings of bliss, it becomes dependent on our "loved" ones pleasing us on a consistent basis and asking very little in return. It's easy to feel "love" when it does not make many demands on us or our time.

Too often, we work harder to please relative strangers than those we say we "love." When we feel secure in our relationships, we tend to take them for granted and forget the importance of demonstrating our love on a day-to-day basis.

Love, in the truest sense of the word, is an action verb. We can say "I love you" and truly feel like we mean it, but the proof of our love is in our actions.

To see how our love stacks up in terms of action, we can ask ourselves these questions:

How do I demonstrate my love through action?
How do my loved ones experience my love?
If I didn't say the words, could they tell by my actions that I love them?
Do I demonstrate my love even when I don't feel "loving?"
Do my loved ones have to please me to "feel" wrapped in my love?
What actions from others do I experience as "loving?"
Do I only show love when I am "feeling" loved?
Who in my life demonstrates their love for me through their actions?
Are there people in my life who say they love me without providing any evidence of this love other than mere words?
What can I do differently to demonstrate my love?
Do I show love for myself in my actions - even when I don't "feel" deserving of this love?

When we reflect on these questions, we can heighten our awareness of our own ability to put love into action- with others and with ourselves. We can DECIDE to love when we see it as an active force rather than merely a feeling. True love exists when our actions match our words!

New Beginnings!

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 04:46:00 +0000

January is the perfect "start-over" month. It marks the beginning of a new year, and we are filled with resolutions, hopes, and dreams. We feel like we once did in school when we started the year off with shiny new notebooks. We prepare ourselves to write the next chapter of our lives, and we are determined to make the story line fabulous. All too often, though, our notebooks gets dusty as we ditch our good intentions and lose sight of what we truly want. Then we find ourselves starting over again year after year.

It's time to try something new this year. We can make it the best year ever if we:

refuse to make excuses
stop tolerating the energy drainers in our lives
focus on what we do want rather than on what we don't want
listen to our hearts
become champions for our dreams
do something each day to move us toward our hearts' desires
create habits that become effortless
take baby steps
keep trying UNTIL we get it right
celebrate each small victory

I Miss You Mom!

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 17:04:00 +0000

My 90-year-old mother, Marge, died on December 14th of this year. She lived a long, full life; but I still am having a hard time with the loss. Since she lived with me, she was so much a part of my day-to-day life. I miss talking to her and having coffee in the morning with her before leaving for work. I miss hearing her answer her phone with an "I love you too." (I had previously set her ring tone to "I just called to say I love you" by Stevie Wonder.) I miss her colorful vocabulary and her funny ways. I miss our shopping expeditions to Kohl's, Sam's Club, Walmart, and Value City. Most of all, I miss her love. She will always be with me - watching over me as my personal guardian angel.

I LOVE YOU TOO MOM!

Giving Thanks!

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 00:10:00 +0000

It's easy to remember to give thanks when things are going well. However, it's also important to have an attitude of gratitude even in the darkest of times. Whether your life is going extremely well or you're facing many challenges, take a moment to focus on the many people, things, and experiences that you've been blessed with through the years. Your list might include:

family and friends
just being alive
spirituality
your talents
your career
your home
your possessions
your pets
past vacations
favorite foods
nature
your physical abilities
music
art
beauty
chocolate
home movies
happy memories
great books
whatever else you can think of . . .

The WOW Factor

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 00:35:00 +0000

Weekend Dressing - 5 Fashionable Ways to Make You Look Wow!

By Deborah E Boland

Just because you enjoy having a lazy weekend, doesn't mean you should get lazy about your style. If you're stuck in a style slump during your precious days off, then it's time for a little inspiration. Whether you wan to go out to dinner, see movie, or just hang out with friends, you deserve to look and feel fabulous, turn heads and get compliments! So here are 5 ideas for weekend dressing that are sure to make you look Wow!

1. Swap your jeans for a skirt
Yes it's the weekend, but why hide behind jeans just because they're easy and familiar? Instead try wearing something that will put a little swing into rest and relaxation time like a feminine flat yoke skirt with soft pleats. Pair your skirt with a cozy cashmere sweater to feel comfy, but still look chic. A pretty solid scarf in one of your favorite colors tied at the neck will punch up the look, or you can add some smart ballet flats by day, or sexy heels by night.

2. Be Bold in a Bright Jacket
Weekends are play time and what better way to send that message than to add a shot of color. The simplest, most up to the moment way to do that, is to wear a jacket bursting with color. This season we're seeing jackets in a deep rich rainbow of colors from burnt orange to plum, ruby red, teal blue and saffron. These emerald colors work really well with all neutrals, especially the new Grey which can be difficult and draining to wear. The key to making this look work is to buy a jacket that fits you absolutely perfectly. Fit is everything especially after 40 to help add structure to a softening body.

3. Play with Scarves
Wait, aren't scarves for old ladies? Depends on how you wear them. Scarves can be a great way to jazz up an otherwise ordinary outfit. Start with a crisp white blouse, unbutton the first few buttons and tie a long thin scarf a few times around your neck and knot it. Keep your blouse untucked and team it up with a pair of slim fit pants or jeans. Or, you can even try draping a large colorful scarf across a neutral top for a more dramatic weekend dressing look!

4. Knock'em Out in a Knit
If you don't have a knit top and matching pant or skirt in your weekend wardrobe, then fly out the door and pick one up! These outfits are casual but smart and are the perfect thing to wear shopping, to dinner or on a weekend getaway. Pair a knit skirt with opaque hose , boots or a pair of shoes with one of the new chunky heels.

5. Have Fun with Flat Boots
As the weather turns and the leaves begin to fall, flat riding boots are a great weekend dressing footwear choice. Rugged and Strong they look best paired with jeans or knit dresses plus opaque stockings. Be aware that your daughter's heavy Frye boots (yes they're back) can sometimes look too heavy on 40+ legs if so you may want to opt for a slightly finer version to achieve this look.

Deborah Boland and JoJami Tyler (The Glam Gals) are Image and Style Experts specializing in helping women 40 plus look and feel fabulous. They are the authors of the e-book, The Glam Plan~ 12 Simple Steps to Take You From Frumpy to Fabulous, as well as coaches for their Tweak Your Chic, Image make-over program. For more tips go to http://www.fabulousafter40.com and sign up for their bi-weekly newsletter. You can also contact them at: info@fabulousafter40.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Deborah_E_Boland
http://EzineArticles.com/?Weekend-Dressing---5-Fashionable-Ways-to-Make-You-Look-Wow!&id=1659749

Moments of Decision

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 00:09:00 +0000

Anthony Robbins once said, "It is in our moments of decision that our destinies are shaped." For me, these decisive moments make up the fabric of my days. When the alarm goes off, I can decide to hit snooze and roll over, or I can get out of bed and have a little more
time to get ready each morning. On the way to work, I can relax in quiet solitude, play my ipod music, or listen to personal growth audiobooks. The choice is mine. When I feel like eating emotionally in response to a "bad" day, I can remind myself that I want to nourish my body in a healthy way, or I can give in to the temptation of chips and dip. The quality of my future life depends on the decisions I make each and every day.

In order to shape my destiny, I must stay conscious of each tiny decision I face. Taking total ownership of my choices puts me in the driver's seat of my life. It's not always easy, but it's definitely worthwhile!

Copyright 2008 by Holly Cox, L.C.P.C., C.D.C.

I've been slacking!

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 03:27:00 +0000

Wow! I just noticed that my last post was on October 26th. The only justification I have is that my 90-year-old mother has been very sick. She just got out of the hospital, and since she lives with me I have been staying home taking care of her this past week. Watching her suffer rips my heart apart, and yet despite my own feelings of powerlessness I am in awe. She has been through so much this past year: shingles, kidney stones, several blood transfusions, congestive heart failure, weekly procrit shots, more kidney stones, lung problems, knees that don't work, reactions to medications, and so on. Despite her never-ending medical problems and her advanced years, she was still driving her car around town up until this past summer. At one point, she left the hospital after a week's stay due to a systemic infection prompted by her kidney stones and insisted on going with me to visit her grandson in Kentucky. Even now, as sick as she is, she lifts her tired head up to talk to me about plans (she loves to plan!) for my son and daughter-in-law's baby shower in March. She's so proud that she will be a great grandmother in April!

I have much to learn from her inner strength and resilience!

Amazingly Fabulous Life - You Can Create It For Yourself!

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 15:54:00 +0000

"LEARN HOW TO LOVE EVERY MOMENT

OF YOUR AMAZINGLY FABULOUS LIFE!"

"DON'T PRESS THE PAUSE BUTTON ON YOUR LIFE FOR ONE MORE SECOND!  SATISFACTION GUARANTEED OR YOUR MONEY BACK!"

If you'd like to ELIMINATE THE THINGS IN YOUR LIFE THAT ARE DRAINING YOU OF ENERGY AND PASSION, DISCOVER YOUR PURPOSE and CREATE A DREAM-COME-TRUE LIFE FOR YOURSELF AND THOSE YOU LOVE!, then this might be the most important information you'll ever read. Here's why:

THE DREAM COACHING PROCESS USED AT PERSONAL TRANSFORMATIONS WAS DESIGNED BY MARCIA WEIDER, AMERICA'S DREAM COACH®! FEATURED ON THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW, MARCIA HAS MADE IT HER LIFE'S WORK TO AWAKEN THE AMAZING DREAMER INSIDE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US! IF FOLLOWED WITH DILIGENCE AND COMMITMENT, IT CAN TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE!

Now, I know you're probably skeptical. That's normal and healthy.

Three Reasons To Believe What I Say. . .

Reason one: As a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and a Certified Dream Coach®, I have supported people just like you in achieving their dreams and goals for the past 17 years.

Reason two: Marcia's program is clear and easy to follow, divided into ten well-defined steps, and incredibly successful in assisting you in getting clear about your dreams, eliminating the stumbling blocks to achieving them, creating new beliefs, and taking action steps toward an incredible future.

Reason three: As your Certified Dream Coach®, I will support you every step of the way as you create the life you were destined to live. I believe in YOUR DREAMS!

Here is a summary of the benefits you'll receive from working with me:

1) A Dedicated Coach Who Will Be A Champion for Your Dreams!
*****You will get the support and accountability you need to make things happen!

2) A Successful Ten Step Program to Guide You!
*****You can work at a comfortable pace, always knowing you are headed in your desired direction.

3) Suggestions for Great Reading to Jumpstart Your Transformation!
*****You'll benefit from some of the best minds in the personal growth field.

4) A website, two blogs, and free newsletters to help motivate you.
*****When you need a little nudge, the supportive tools will help get you going!

5) Transformation Groups
*****You can join a group geared toward your particular interest and learn from your coach and other group members.

Now, you're probably wondering how and why we can do all those things.

Let me explain.

You can work with a coach in person or over the phone, individually or in a group. During your sessions, you'll learn to set clear intentions, develop the ability to know, without a doubt, that you can count on yourself, understand your purpose, design a dream that matters to you, make peace with your doubter, create strong beliefs that empower you, design strategies to move your dream forward, take action steps toward your dream, surround yourself with a "dream team," and live your life as a visionary. Check out some of the pages on my website, Personal Transformations, for more detailed information on the Dream Coaching Process and the Transformation Groups!

You can't lose with my 100%, iron-clad, money-back guarantee!

If you aren't absolutely thrilled with your progress after working through the ten-step "Making Your Dreams Come True®" program with your Certified Dream Coach® or as a member of one of our Transformation Groups, I'll refund 100% of your money!

Don't let your dreams slip away.

A year from now, how do you want to be living your life?

Call (708) 717-5327 and get started on the adventure of a lifetime!

Holly's Picks!

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 23:41:00 +0000

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Dream Big and Protect Your Dreams!

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 15:11:00 +0000

How To Protect Your Dreams
By Maureen O'Crean

We don't often hear people talk about the care and feeding of our dreams, but this is a very important component of bringing our dreams to fruition.

Do you recall ever hearing about an assignment that has been used in high schools where students are asked to carry a raw egg around for 24 hours and pretend that egg is a baby? This exercise gives people the opportunity to experience what it's like to have a very fragile being with them. Our nascent dreams are as fragile as that raw egg- or perhaps even more fragile. To me, a dream is akin to a soap bubble. Remember when we were little children and we blew bubbles with a wand and that bubble stood precariously on the end of that wand? That soap bubble is really a better metaphor for what our dreams are like.

Imagine you are walking through the world with that bubble. You can't protect it because if you touch it, it breaks. You can't cover it. There is nothing you can do to protect that bubble except carry it with a steady hand. I want you to imagine that bubble is your dream. What you have to do is protect yourself via the company you keep. That's one of the surest ways to protect your dream. You want to surround yourself with success thinkers. Make sure that you only share your dream with somebody who can hold it in their heart as carefully as you hold it in yours.

There are social agreements in the world whereby governments send delegates and decide to take action to protect the welfare of the entire planet. Sadly, there is very little social agreement for protecting individual dreams. You can see this manifested when you talk to people about your dreams. For instance, someone might say, 'Oh, well, that's nice but that's not possible. You might not have enough money. You might not have enough education. You don't know what you're doing.' Those individuals, while they mean well, are really dream stealer's. You want to make sure that you are not in the company of dream stealer's, but in the company of dream keepers.

It is also crucial to develop patterns of success. In The Magic of Thinking Big, Dr. David Schwartz outlines several success practices; for example, 'Be a front seater.' It's often said that the front seat is the million dollar seat if you're in school or at a lecture. By making a practice of taking a front seat, it shows you're not afraid to go to where the action is.

Another pattern related to success is making eye contact with people when you speak with them. I would challenge you today to go out in the world and watch how people speak to each other; most of the time you will see that a person's eyes are wandering when they are having a conversation. This indicates a lack of confidence, so you want to train yourself to look right in the eye of anyone you're speaking to, everyone.

Another success practice is walking 25% faster than you normally do because this gives you an air of confidence. And, once you have an air of confidence, anything can happen. It also changes your physiology when you walk a little bit faster than you normally do. The same is true about speaking up when you are talking. You want to speak forcefully and gently, but do speak up.

Another key behavior you can adopt is smiling more. When you smile, you change the chemistry in your body. You're happier and it's easier for people to like you. And being likable is 90% of getting anything accomplished. There is a 9 to 1 factor between likability and technical skills. So if you're in competition for anything-a job, a part in a play, anything you can think of-likability is 90% of it. If you don't like yourself, no one else will. So it's vitally important to work on liking ourselves.

I encourage you to keep your dreams alive and to surround yourself with people that support you. Protect your dreams by incorporating physical success practices that project an air of confidence.

Maureen O'Crean is a Harvard grad and an International Business strategist who supports others to have their dreams come true. An unconventional MBA, she works with authors, speakers, licensed professionals and entrepreneurs in the area of business growth and development. Maureen often uses publicity - http://www.mymediamatch.com/ - to put her clients in the public eye for visibility. She is a published author and creator of an online community of over 18,000 women. Recently featured in Entrepreneur Magazine where she profiled a client's success, Maureen is available for speaking, interviews and consultations on your business. Please contact her at 310-379-9620 or visit her website at http://www.maureenocrean.com/

Article Source: http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Maureen_O
http://EzineArticles.com/?How-To-Protect-Your-Dreams&id=951616

Effortless Steps to Transformation

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 15:39:00 +0000

Transformation does not have to be a long, painstaking process. There are many shifts we can make with ease on a consistent basis. These small variations can add up to major changes in our thoughts, behaviors, and ultimate results. The important thing is to consciously make them a part of our everyday lives until they become automatic and effortless. Try these suggestions, and you’ll be transforming before you know it!

1. USE TRAVEL TIME FOR PERSONAL GROWTH.
Consistently absorb the thinking patterns of successful, happy people by listening to them while in your car. You can download motivational books and podcasts from ITunes and play them on your MP3 player or burn them to a CD. This doesn’t take up any extra time from your busy day and the long-term payoff is definitely worth it!

2. STRETCH YOURSELF.
Make it a practice to do something a little bit outside of your comfort zone each day. It doesn’t have to be anything exceptionally risky. It just has to challenge you on a personal level. By gradually stretching, you begin to develop a rock steady belief in yourself and your ability to handle a variety of situations.

3. TRY ON SOME NEW BEHAVIORS!
You are an expert at doing what you continually do. If what you are doing works for you, by all means, keep doing it. In the areas of your life that you want to transform, however, try on a variety of new behaviors. With the inquisitiveness of an investigative reporter, observe the results you get. Which behaviors do you want to maintain? Which do you want to eliminate? The choice is yours.

4. PRACTICE SETTING YOUR EGO ASIDE FOR SHORT PERIODS OF TIME.
When you can accept your own humanity with all its blessings and flaws, you no longer have to be perfect at everything you do. You can learn to value feedback from others as an opportunity to gain some information regarding the ways they might be experiencing you in any given moment. You can even begin to acknowledge the morsel of truth behind various criticisms without getting defensive.

Copyright 2008 by Holly Cox, L.C.P.C., C.D.C.

Feeling the Fear and Doing it Anyway!

Sat, 11 Oct 2008 13:42:00 +0000

Check out this article by John Halderman, and learn some great ways to deal with paralyzing fears.

Have you ever been overwhelmed with fear as you have faced doing something? We all have I think each at our own level, with some becoming physically immobilized by it. If your fear feelings overpower you to the point of inaction you have given fear the upper hand. I stated it this way on purpose, your fear is not doing anything to you, rather you are allowing the fear to affect you as it does - it is all within your thought. And you have command over your thought and feelings as well. Effectively handling fear can have a great positive impact on your personal growth and development and on your overall happiness in life.

When you get the fear feelings based on doubt, worry and uncertainty you choose to allow these thoughts to roil around in your head. You choose how you interpret them and how you react to them. A fearful thought does not come pre-packaged with a specific set of feelings and behavioral commands. Those too are of your choosing.

When you let yourself remain in the fear, you are choosing to have the fear guide your actions. It's a logical progression to react to the fear feelings based on how most of us have developed our perceptions around fear. But when you realize that you have created the whole cycle in your mind, you can begin to see that you have ultimate command over the whole cycle. You can change this existing cycle of perception, interpretation and reaction to one that is more supportive of the life you want.

Dr. Wayne Dyer is well known for saying that when you change the way you look at things, the way you look at things changes. He is referring to your perception, which may appear at first to be totally automatic but it's not. Well it is and it isn't! It is automatic as it functions now, but you have the ability to change it and have it automatically be different. Just because you now, as most do, react to worry, doubt and uncertainty with fear thoughts does not mean this is the only way or that it must be this way.

So how did your perceptions, interpretations and reactions get the way they are? And why does it seem that this is just the way they should be? Because you were taught these things by those you were around as you grew up. You took on the perceptions, interpretations and reactions of those who provided the greatest impression on you as you grew up. Your mind allows this, unless you consciously step in to stop it, because it seems normal in the environment you were in when young and highly impressionable. When most or all of the people you are around do it 'this way' there is no red flag raised in your thinking to question it, so you don't. Their way becomes your way.

This is how your behavior and that of groups, families and societies is formed and why it appears to be 'normal'. And the fact that many people behave in a certain way does not make it the best way, many times it is just the easiest way. It is easier to conform than to take a unique path. You don't have to remain stuck in the mode of allowing fear thoughts to control your actions. You have command of your thinking so you can change the whole cycle or mental chain of events that occurs with fear. Initially the thoughts of doubt, and some uncertainty are normal when you are facing something new, different or challenging but you don't need to let the heightened feelings well up and create this big fear thing that you then cater to.

You can change the way you look at doubt, worry and uncertainty. They are just certain thoughts questioning what you are about to do. "Am I prepared?" "What if ____?" "Maybe I won't remember?" "How will they react?" "How do I look?" These are mostly logical concerns about what you are about to do and if you can answer them logically, without emotion, you can clear them up and soothe your mind. Some you can specifically answer and check off the list and others you will determine you can't do anything about, so you do not concern yourself with it any more. Choose to leave out the doom and gloom thoughts, the "I can't" thoughts that are not part of the original concerns - they are your reaction to those thoughts.

Just because you are concerned with how you look, dies not mean you should stop from doing it. Just because you are wondering if you are prepared or not does not mean to turn and run. Just because you have not done this before does not mean you can't. You interpretation and reaction to the logical progression of thought leading up to your planned action is what causes you to freeze up. But even when you allow the feeling of fear to well up over these thoughts, still does not mean you must behave in a certain way. You can proceed with the fear, don't interpret the fear feelings as a stop sign. Just acknowledge those feelings and move on. Accept them, realize how they come about and let them be. Fear thoughts and feelings in themselves can't do anything, only when you choose to react in specific ways do they. Choose not to react to them in ways that have you suffering and keep you from what you want.

It's your life, live it your way. Every day is a good day for personal growth and development.

John Halderman wants you to live the life you desire, finally get information, tools, methods and tips for daily change and improvement. For newsletter and 45 page report, http://www.designalifesystem.com and see how personal growth is a daily activity

Accept Yourself First!

Sun, 28 Sep 2008 16:18:00 +0000

Self-improvement is great if it's done in a spirit of fun and creativity; however, if we are always feeling that we aren't good enough as we are, we will never be satisfied by any of the changes we make. The first step in creating the life of our dreams is to arrive at a place of true self acceptance. That doesn't mean that there aren't things we would like to change. It does mean that our happiness with ourselves does not depend on these changes. If we do not love ourselves unconditionally, it will be difficult for others to do so.

The poet David Whyte speaks to the necessity of taking exquisitely good care of ourselves: "If you do not give to yourself, you will always hold others at emotional gunpoint."

When we place ourselves last on our own lists, we can end up feeling resentful and looking to others to fill us up. When they can't or won't, we might point to our own unworthiness as the cause or blame them for being insensitive! This ends up being a no-win situation.

To begin the process of accepting ourselves, we might want to consider these questions.

1. What do I need to start accepting about my body, my personality, my talents, my perceived weaknesses? (For instance, I do not have an athletic cell in my whole body; and I'm perfectly fine with that - although if I were to suddenly turn into an olympic champion that would be just fine with me!)

2. What self-talk do I need to change to start this process?

3. How have I adopted the judgments of others as my own?

4. Do I really believe there is some absolute truth to these judgments?

5. What do I want to believe about myself?

6. What benefits do I receive from being my own worst critic?

7. What do I want others to do for me emotionally that I am not willing to do for myself?

8. Am I willing to commit to accepting myself unconditionally as I am, while recognizing there are areas I'd like to change?

Declutter Your Life!

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:23:00 +0000

I'll admit it. Clutter is my nemesis. I always start out with good intentions, and I can even do a thorough job of cleaning up my environment when I must. All too soon, however, I find myself drowning in a sea of "stuff" or working my way through the thousands of emails that cross my path. Envious of others who are not so organizationally challenged, I resolve to be just like them; but that's easier said than done.

So what gets in my way? Well, I'm usually multi-tasking and often do things at hyperspeed, so it's easy to fail to pay attention to the things I'm doing from moment to moment. I also tend to become overfocused on the task at hand and don't want to start something unless I can finish it.

Through the years, I've found certain techniques that work better than others when facing my "clutter" demons. You might find these helpful as well.

Choose one type of clutter per month to focus on. If you decide to tackle the drawers in your home and/or office, intend to organize one drawer per day while leaving weekends free. By the end of the month, you will have streamlined 20 of them without feeling a bit overwhelmed.
Commit to throwing out five pieces of paper per day. This can include envelopes, receipts, kleenex, etc.
Pay attention to what you are doing - while you are doing it. This is key!
Deal with your emails as you read them - file them, forward them, respond to them, or delete them.
Vow to use up all your shampoo/shower gel/soap, etc. before buying more. This is one I need to follow since, left to my own devices, I tend to have a number of partially-used bottles filling up my bathroom cabinets.
Once a week set a timer for fifteen minutes, play your favorite music, and pick up as much clutter as you can during this time period. When the timer goes off, stop and give yourself some much needed relaxation!

Coming Up Empty!

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 23:05:00 +0000

I'm sitting here at my computer, racking my brain over a topic for this blog post. It seems like the harder I try to think of something, the more illusive that something becomes. Feeling stuck, the anxiety starts to set in; and then I remind myself to breathe! After two deep inhalations, I feel a shift within - and I realize that this process is a metaphor for our lives.

We women all too often pressure ourselves on a consistent basis to perform, accomplish, maintain, lead, engage, plan, satisfy, and so on. Some of us begin to feel a sense of paralysis take over as we walk around in a semi-conscious state, feeling totally inadequate in relationship to the tasks at hand. We forget to take care of ourselves in the process.

The very act of breathing deeply has the power to slow us down, replenish our spirits, and allow us time to gain some perspective on our situation. We might even decide to give ourselves a much-deserved break.

I think I'll take one myself!

Copyright © 2008 by Holly Cox, L.C.P.C. C.D.C. ®